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The Shortcut

Dr. Solomon gazed at his reflection. It was dangerous to use the Inverse as a shortcut, but there just wasn't any way around it. He had an appointment to get to, and cabs refused to visit the Dark Quarter. Checking that no one in the antique shop was watching, he entered the mirror.

The mirror opened to the Nightshade Market, twisting streets lined by stalls and gas lanterns. Turning down an alley to avoid a crowd of fey, he was accosted by a trio of redcaps. "Your money and your life!" With redcaps, it was never "or."

"Sorry, fellas, no time to play. I'm late." He whistled. A tentacle reached out from a nearby grate, dragging the screaming goblins into the sewer. "Thanks, Eddie."

He came to the Gloaming Glade Motel. He tossed a coin to the rå running the front desk.

"You'll get me in trouble," the spirit grumbled. "Boss don't like humans."

"You work for a soul leach," he said. "You're already in trouble."

He entered the gold mirror on the lobby wall and arrived in another lobby, this one at a courthouse in Chicago.

He ran up the steps and found his ex-wife. "Sheila," he said, "you can't ask the judge for the house."

"And why not?" she demanded.

"First, you don't have any legal rights in this reality. You're a succubus. Secondly, that's where I keep my things."

She folded her arms, her tail swishing angrily. "Fine. Just get my boyfriend released from demon prison."

"Done. Tell Bobby I said hi."

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Stranded

The sailor leapt from the sinking ship, swimming to a rocky beach. He wandered the island, praying for helpful locals, but found nothing. The island was empty. His crew mates were dead, and he was alone.

He collapsed, exhausted.

A feather landed on his face. He opened his eyes to see a woman perched atop a large boulder. She smiled, spreading her wings. "An angel!" he gasped.

"No," she said, raising her claws, "I am a harpy. And you are meat."

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I can't leave these out for Santa! He's gonna give me coal for sure!

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20 Ways to Show Anger in Your Writing

Here’s a list of 20 signs of anger that writers can use to show, rather than tell, a character’s emotions through physical, verbal, and internal reactions:

1. Facial Expressions

Clenched jaw or grinding teeth

Narrowed or glaring eyes

Lips pressed into a thin line or curled into a sneer

2. Body Language

Fists clenched tightly at their sides

Tense shoulders that rise or square up

Puffing out the chest or stepping closer to confront

3. Speech Patterns

Voice lowered to a dangerous, icy tone

Shouting or raising their voice suddenly

Speaking in short, clipped sentences

4. Breathing Changes

Heavy, rapid breathing (nostrils flaring)

Sharp inhales and audible exhales

Holding their breath as if trying to stay in control

5. Sudden Physical Movements

Slamming fists onto tables or walls

Pacing back and forth restlessly

Pointing a finger or jabbing the air during speech

6. Uncontrolled Gestures

Shoving objects off a desk or knocking over a glass

Finger tapping or knuckle cracking

Wrapping arms tightly around themselves

7. Temperature and Flushes

Red face, neck, or ears

Visible veins on the neck or forehead

Breaking into a sweat despite the situation

8. Eye Movements

Eyes darting or rolling sharply

Avoiding direct eye contact out of fury

Staring someone down with unblinking intensity

9. Words and Tone

Cursing, insults, or verbal jabs

Sarcasm sharpened to hurt others

Accusations thrown in frustration

10. Breaking Personal Space

Leaning in closer, looming over someone

Pointed steps toward another person to intimidate

Physically turning away to dismiss or avoid conflict

11. Physical Reactions

Throwing objects or breaking things in rage

Punching walls, doors, or inanimate objects

Shaking hands or trembling with pent-up anger

12. Posture Shifts

Back stiffening and chin lifting defiantly

Shoulders jerking or twitching

Rigid stance as though ready for confrontation

13. Inner Thoughts (for internal POV)

“I could feel the blood boiling in my veins.”

“The room seemed to close in on me.”

“My pulse thundered in my ears.”

14. Displacement of Anger

Kicking objects on the ground (chairs, trash bins)

Storming off abruptly or slamming doors

Snapping at someone unrelated to the cause of anger

15. Temperature Descriptions (metaphors/sensations)

Heat rushing to their face or spreading through their chest

A cold sensation washing over them, signaling restrained anger

Feeling fire “lick” at their insides or their temper “ignite”

16. Instinctive Responses

A growl or grunt escaping their lips

Baring their teeth as if instinctively defensive

Ripping or tearing something in their grip

17. Silence as a Weapon

Pausing dramatically before responding

Refusing to speak or meet someone’s eyes

The ominous quiet just before they explode

18. Physical Sensations

Muscles twitching or vibrating under the skin

Heart pounding visibly at their throat or chest

A bitter taste in their mouth or nausea from anger

19. Reactive Behaviors

Interrupting others to correct or attack

Dismissing concerns with a quick wave of the hand

Throwing out ultimatums like “Don’t push me!”

20. Lingering Aftermath

Hands trembling after the initial outburst

A headache, buzzing ears, or lingering tension

Regret or shame slowly replacing the heat of the anger

These signs can be layered together to create realistic and powerful depictions of anger, whether it’s smoldering beneath the surface or erupting violently.

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Hot Plates

I was at a Mexican restaurant with some friends. The waiter brings our food, and warns everyone that the plates are very, very hot. So, of course, the first thing I do is touch my plate.

I burn my thumb on the hot plate, and my automatic reaction is to stick it in my mouth so it will stop hurting. Just then, a little kid sitting at a nearby table points at me and screams, "He sucks his thumb! Look! He sucks his thumb! Look! Look!"

Everyone in the restaurant turns to stare at me, and I try to vanish behind my menu.

And my wife wonders why I hate kids.

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The Intersection of Voice and POV

"The easiest way to think about POV is as a lens that you hand the reader and say, here, you will now be viewing the world through this slightly warped piece of glass." - Michelle Barker

Read more:

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The Grinch Cinematic Universe

If How The Grinch Stole Christmas had been made today, they would have turned it into a franchise with the Grinch stealing Halloween, Thanksgiving, Valentines, a birthday, and on and on until they lost $200 million on The Grinch Steals Arbor Day.

The remakes would return to Christmas, as that was the big money maker, but they would get too dark and edgy and alienate the original fans. Parents refuse to take their kids to "How The Grinch Burned Down Christmas for the Insurance Money."

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Recommended Reading: The Sound of Reindeer by Lyndsie Manusos

"There were few Christmas decorations inside the Hill’s house, and nothing on the outside. No wreath on the front door. No lights bordering the beautiful front porch. Rather than wreaths or holly, leather straps curled up the banister of the staircase...."

Read More

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The Walk Before Christmas

On the night before Christmas, I was taking a walk,

Avoiding my girlfriend, who "needed to talk."

When what on my new hat did appear,

But a sprinkling of poo from eight flying reindeer!

The old sleigh driver flew on so quick,

I shook my fist and yelled, "You stupid prick!"

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Ultimate Writing Guides - Dialogue, Character Flaws, and Exposition

Did you know I've written several "ultimate guides" to writing? They cover writing topics like dialogue, character flaws, and writing exposition. Check 'em out!

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The Serpent

Sir Eric was battling a scitalis, a serpent as long as a horse. It was difficult to fight, as he had to keep his eyes closed. The scitalis had glistening scales with a mesmerizing pattern of colors. Just one glance could leave you frozen in place, hypnotized.

He swung his sword blindly, feeling it strike something. "Aha! Another hit! You'll be quite dead soon, foul beast!"

"Doing some pruning?" Beatrix's voice asked.

"Back, witch!" he called. "Cover your eyes, lest the monster freeze you and eat you alive!"

"What monster?"

"Why, the scitalis, of course!"

She cackled. "Scitalis? My doctor gave me a cream for that. Cleared it right up."

He opened his eyes. He was standing in her garden, bits of ivy vine at his feet. "You see? My attack has frightened it off!"

"Clearly. Come scare the weeds next, dear."

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The Problem With Being A Writer On Social Media...

...is that pictures will always win. A picture of an empty toilet paper roll will inevitably be more popular online than whatever amazing thing you've written, because reading takes slightly more effort than moving your thumb to click a heart.

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Recommended Reading: Lily, the Immortal by Kylie Lee Baker

"Holo-Lily is much like real Lily. We probably should have put a clause in the contract that said something like, “Hey, when I die, please stop using my corpse to sell your makeup,” but we hadn’t really believed in death back then and it was too late now..."

Read More

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The Game

Sir Eric was battling a horde of ogres threatening the village. He had lost his sword hours ago, and was trying to fend them off with a flaming torch.

Beatrix appeared overhead, floating on her broom. "Come play cricket with me!" she called. "I'm so good, they call me the wicket witch!"

"Can't right now!" he said, exasperated. "Cricket won't be invented for centuries!"

She sighed. "Fine, I'll wait."

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The Invention

My friend and I invented a gun that turns things into vegetables. But before we could patent it, he shot me. It always hurts when a trusted friend beet rays you.

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Had to get a new “safety first” sign at work because the old one fell down and hit me in the head.

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Recommended Reading: The Year Without Sunshine by Naomi Kritzer

"During one of the much smaller disasters that preceded the really big disaster, I met a lot of my neighbors online. When the Internet and cell phones went down, my next-door neighbor to the north, Tanesha, built a booth in her yard out of plywood…"

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