#writing jokes

[xypheris]

Introducing the Writer Kinks:

1. The comma (,)

2. The semicolon (;)

3. The em dash (—)

4. The Overused italics

5. The Fragments (Because. Drama.)

6. THE ALL CAPS

7. The Ellipses (...)

Honorable Mentions: Long metaphors, parentheses (bonus thoughts) and repititions.

Because why write a concise sentence when you can string together 37 thoughts into one grammatical monstrosity.

[paigegonerogue]

I, of mostly sound body and spirit, request that if I’m ever to die, someone post a new work on my AO3 that says “sorry, she died, ongoing stories postponed forever” because don’t I want my fanfic buddies to think I ghosted them. Amen or whatever you say in a will.

[maelstrom-of-emotions]

[did-i-do-this-write]

Writing an "Oh. Oh." moment, except instead of "Oh shit, I am in love" it's "Oh shit, I am traumatized."

[phoenixyfriend]

The sentence: Probably took a few inches off.

Me: This character would probably use centimeters, right?

The sentence, edit 1: Probably took a few centimeters off.

Me: No, that suggests much less length.

The sentence, edit 2: Probably took a few decimeters off.

Me: That's too much length.

The sentence, edit 3: Probably took a decimeter or two off.

Me: That's clunky and the difference between a decimeter and two is too big to not just pick one.

The sentence, edit 4: Probably took a decimter or so off.

Me, staring: That's... so clunky.

The sentence, now: Probably took a few inches off.

[localcanadiancreature62]

Me when i write fluff: *SNIFF* *SNIFF* *CRYING* THEY'RE SO HAPPY. THEY FINALLY GET THEIR GOOD ENDING. AUGHHHH.

Me when i write angst: Hmmm which one of these chucklefucks will i bestow horrid psychological torture upon this time?. I will make them feel so hopeless that THEY ARE SO SAD AND FUCKED UP AND THEY WANT TO FUCKING KILL THEMSELVES AHAHAHAAHAHHAHA.

[writingwithfolklore]

Me, throwing my readers into a messed up little world: And that's just the way it is >:( Literally the rest of the story: But what if. it doesn't have to be 🥺👉👈

[almaprincess66]

Me: First drafts are there to only exist. Not to bee good, not to be perfect. They are there to be edited later on the line. You can't edit a blank page!

Friend: Good! So finish your first draft.

Me:

Me:

Me: How about no?

[insidetheerings]

me in front of my computer trying to remember what i plotted in my head while rotting in bed

[6vaguebook]

Me, a writer, and my google search history:

[i-have-41-protons]

Reblog for sample size, or just blink

[theglitchywriterboi]

Some of my OCs I am rotating in my mind.... Others ? I'm aggressively choking, throttling, waterboarding, & biting [all out of love]

[paigegonerogue]

What if we’re living in an AU on AO3?

What if there’s another version of us in cannon running around killing monsters, but some random person wrote our lives ‘Alternate Universe—Modern Setting’ style?

What if that time you said ‘That’s make a good TV show’ the author was telling an ironic joke and giggling to themself?

What if when you meet a weird person on the street you never see again, the author was doing an Easter Egg for the readers where that was another character from the story?

What if you’re straight in canon but so queer-coded the fandom decided you weren’t?

What if you’re written OOC?

What if—

[did-i-do-this-write]

Writeblr PVP (forcing each other to write with stupid games)

[authorholmie]

when 3AM rolls around but sleeping no longer matters because you just reached the peak angst in a 65 chapter fanfic

[localcanadiancreature62]

My stance on how i treat my blorbos ISN'T "I can fix them" "I can make them worse". It's actually "I'll break them and THEN fix them". Like they'll go through the most traumatic, unimaginable horrors ever and they'll get therapy as well as a drinky drink if they were a good sport about the Horrors™. You see i like to see my faves heal,but to see them heal i have to hurt them.

Rant under the cut.

I'm not like other angst writers who are allergic to happiness *looks at my mutuals Aria and Angst*. They just have to go through a horrifically terrible time before having a good time. I literally give all of my faves more baggage than they already have only to fix it soon after pfft. Also i don't like sad endings,i physically cannot write them, because i will Cry. Like what even is the point of making them go through the Horrors if they come out as an unrecognizable husk after?. I break them and i fix them,but other people just break them break them break them break them break them until there's nothing left. Like i get where you're coming from. Becoming totally changed by trauma that there's no coming back is interesting. But like,bruh. Not my cup of tea. K rant over. Thank you for listening to my ted talk.