#just venting pls ignore
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rainbowcrowley · 6 months ago
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nope'd out of school today bc i just wasn't feeling it. yay for setting boundaries i guess..?
i'm overworked and this 👌🏻 close to another burnout. i need vacation.....
2 weeks left......
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phoenxxcat · 2 years ago
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how do I stop feeling so guilty for taking the time my body needs to rest. how do I stop blaming myself for my limitations. why do I struggle so much with the little things? I’ve spent all day in bed for a week now, skipping classes and neglecting chores. the only thing that gets me up is feeding my cats. if it weren’t for them, I don’t know how I’d manage.
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fangirlwithasweettooth · 2 months ago
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so much annoying but very insignificant stuff has happened since I left work and I’m fighting off a meltdown about it hahhahaha this is so fun
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weirdmeal · 4 months ago
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i got a cpap machine ages ago and finally set it up but i hate it so much i feel like a science project like in a bad way
like there’s all this shit wrong with me and i find something new every day and i can’t even fucking Sleep normal
can i just have a break. like can i just wake up healthy or something. i think i would give almost anything to just have a normal fucking body again even for a day
like no pain no dizzy spells or weakness or fatigue. functioning correctly for the first time in years. could you imagine. if i didn’t need a fucking Breathing Machine to even sleep or a cane or 700000000 medications. if i didn’t have to fear my inevitable physical decline years before all my friends because my body is made of fucking wet paper
and i’ll be fine i’ve managed so far. but i see how my mom and sister are doing and i know what’s coming for me sooner rather than later
just. some days it’s enough to make me slip backwards a little bit
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resident-tomb-rat · 2 years ago
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bruh i hate myself so much lol
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angelpuns · 2 months ago
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Me looking at the super long definitely TMI diary-type vent post in my drafts: haha yeah you're gonna live there forever until I delete you <3
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mushed-kid · 19 days ago
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#tw vent#tw suicide#this is my diary#i cant stop crying its so annoying i start tearing up every other minute#nothing in my life is the way i want it to be#and i cant fix any of it#and i just feel horrible all of the time#i wish i would just die already#like.#im done here. ive nothing more to do#i wouldn’t really mind#i think i might be doing way worse than i have ever before because i cant stop or ignore things anymore#like i cant stop myself from saying it i cant bottle it up like before#i mean. i didnt even mean to admit to it but i fucking slipped up and said it earlier todsy#and suddenly the words ​‘im doing bad’ slipped out of my mouth. which is crazy because i would never admit to anything like that.#its so scary to think about that im doing bad because that means im doing bad#wdym i would just give up wdym wdym wdym im. like thats not me its not me. its not me its not me thats not me#i feel like theres two uh idk brains inside me and the one that wants to live is being completely overstepped by the other one#i have so many feelings all the time and i still do but its also like. i dont care. like theyre somehwat muted or number now#and i dont think thats a good thing#also i feel horrible for admitting im doing bad because i know myself and i would never do that so im not me i cant be because me woulndt#and i feel bad that that worries people because as much as i feel like dying i wont do that and i know it sounds like i will but i wont#but i feel bad about making people worry#so pls dont worry because i Am doing fine. well. enough to live but like#i sound mentally ill
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fyodior · 4 months ago
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fuckyeah-bears · 2 years ago
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whhhhyyyyyyyyy is everything sooooo motherfucking expensive????? don’t they know I can’t afford all this shit???
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kaiserkisser · 3 months ago
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can someone nice (!!) please please please adopt me im begging you im requesting you (huge word vomit and vent in tags, pls dont read if u dont want to!! and if you don't want this stuff on this blog PLS lmk!! i dont wanna make anyone uncomfy! )
#tw vent#yes ik i have a vent blog#but idk why i dont wanna go there#ill prolly delete this in a while + if i vent here (which ill try not to) ill always tag it#but if any of yall aren't fine with it pls do lmk!!! ill stop <3#Anyways.#fucking hell i hate this.#dude#i very specifically told them to hurry the fuck up THEY were the ones making us late#i have told them a hundred times the minimum time i jeed to get ready#i told them this morning too that you guys make us late then put it all on me#nad she went like oh no dear dont worry that wont happen#WELL GUESS WHAT BITCH#and like the lecture and huge ass scolding and then cold shouldet ive been getting from BOTH of them before i left for coachinh#im just tired atp#idk its not even that big a deal this happens everyday#i dont know how to feel#idk if im even rly feeling anything atp#its just that i really fucking hate being here#I wanna get the fuck out#but thing is this makes me feel kinda guilty occasionally#for eg a few days ago i was rly sick and she took care of me kinda#and then that made me feel bad for hating her#but then things like this happen and i cant help it and i feel so conflicted#i dont want to stay here i know that for sure but i feel guilty for it#if i speak im being rude and backtalking#if i dont speak im being rude and ignoring#the fuck am i supposed to do????#she always tells me to 'stay silent and just hear it'#and when i do that she keeps shouting again and again and finally i say smth bc although its extremely fucking dumb of me to open my mouth
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wolfchans · 2 months ago
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I hate you sudden waves of sadness!!! We were doing soo good today!! What is it that sets you off every time 😞
Just feeling like curling up in bed and never waking up again but i have so much to do
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madolecence · 6 months ago
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Listen 99% of the time I’m fine being single bc there’s nothing wrong with it and relationships don’t always bring you peace but that 1% of the time I am FUCKING PISSED I’M SINGLE bc I feel so alone like c’mon. Logically it’s nothing about me but what is it about me why haven’t I even met anyone I’ve actually liked in years
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forcebook · 2 months ago
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relating a little too hard to aioon on this gloomy day
i’ve always been the ugly/boring cousin, i didn’t have siblings while growing up but my father has a baby girl now who’s obviously the favorite, i’m just the older loser daughter which caught me completely off guard akdjskdjs i was never really included in friend groups but that didn’t bother me all that much cuz i don’t like groups. i had a very fulfilling friendship for more than ten years tho and now we don’t talk anymore which hurts me daily but i can’t even blame the other person
so where does all that grief go? where do i put it? or should i just let it live in my house like a roommate?
but i know i also don’t make things easier. people try to include me in their circles sometimes yet i still feel like an outsider no matter where i go. no i don’t have kids, no i will NOT marry a man and women don’t want me so i’ll die alone, no i can’t keep a job anymore cuz i’m too depressed and my therapist thinks i’m a danger to myself. what’s that? oh you don’t believe i’m autistic? typical
and you know what, it’s fine. it’s all fine. except that i’m so touch starved, love starved, attention starved that sometimes i don’t even feel human. like i’m losing touch with humanity, with reality and then i feel so fucking empty
feeling emotions can be hella uncomfortable but nothing’s worse than just feeling completely empty. like a massive void, like i’m going to swallow myself and everything else around me at any given moment.
it feels so all consuming it scares me sometimes, the thought that maybe i’m doomed to only cause harm. but i don’t want to, i don’t want to be a bad presence in people’s lives but maybe i’ve always been
maybe that’s why i’m alone. it’s safer for everyone this way
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fic-dumpster · 2 months ago
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The problem when you think you won’t be writing anymore so you left your WIPs everywhere and your memory equals to Dory is that you depend so much on notes and documents. AND WHEN YOU CANT FIND NEITHER AND YOUR LIFE ENDS? WHAT THEN?
I have searched through all my drives and notes apps and old phones and computers… why am I so messy 🧍🏻‍♀️.
So…
This is all I could compile. Notion is so much better😫🤲🏻. Aaaaamd I’ll get one or two chapters posted this weekend (tomorrow and Sunday).
Then I might re-read TR and the fanbook and wikis hahahahaahjaa gosh… I’m invested. I hate leaving unfinished projects… but it’s a curse that I carry.
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niallermybabe · 11 months ago
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msorrymsorrymsorrymsosorrymsorry
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pr3ttysick · 20 days ago
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It’s legitimately like russian roulette being on my phone around others bc i can’t scroll ANY app without 3d content popping up
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