#if they actually do respond and its just more hostility and “sorry you felt like that” bs then

[animation-by-jam]

[Vent]. My thoughts. I'm not indigenous, so I can not relay the experience as if I could, and their voices matter more than mine. My heart goes out to the people of the letter. I'm writing as a fan who wants to just let out my feelings.

I don't know if it's just me. But I don't know if I can watch another rtvs stream with the whole crew until the rest of them issued their apologies over what happened or actually do something about the hurt they caused. It's obvious by the fan reaction that they're not just friends on the internet anymore and can't just shield themselves to be awful with criticism. Especially over fucking racial discrimination critique.

Especially Mike. Like everyone's initial responses and apologies at the time were bad, but man, that one was just REALLY BAD. Like if it wasn't limited to a discord server, the average rtvs viewer would have just been appalled by the comment and done worse reputation wise level bad. Not even the most dedicated sweep under the rug fans could argue that wasn't good. (Though I did scroll to read the entire situation, and few people tried). But, nope. It was bad. I still don't understand how he could go immediately to a 100 with that. I could give him the benefit of the doubt and say he probably had a shitty day (gamer moment level of exuse. I can't defend that), or idk he was just too aggressive with wanting to defend his friends. But, at the end of the day, that's an excuse, and the words were still typed and caused hurt. The action was still taken, and unfortunately, even *if* he feels terrible over it, he can't take it back. What's done is done, and just make up for it now.

But like I said, even with other mods and members doing the work behind the scenes. And I really hope to god that they do actually address this shit publicly. The longer it could go on, the more people will feel so betrayed (rightfully), and the more fans it will reach to demand something. Like this isn't the hlvrai days anymore rtvs, they have fans that can donate thousands to charity and sell out merchandise within hours. They want to unify the brand together? so they have to GET IT TOGETHER. Act maturely next time. If they aren't able to properly rectify a situation with a problematic sponsor or collaboration in time, then just apologize and listen to people's suggestions. God damn. How hard was it to read a letter that wasn't attacking them. And if anything, they tried really hard to give them so much benefit since it was from Fans. And even if not from fans, still don't treat indigenous people like this (common sense, no?). I know some of the crew are white and, or at this point, privileged to do what they can and probably never had to deal with the unique oppression indigenous people do as most humans never will. But, still. They have to get over it. Read the letter and understand it, and stop trying to act like any criticism is the end of your world/jobs. It will be if most of them don't learn from this incident.

[trafalgass]

I JUST GOT A RANDOM IDEA BEFORE I ALMOST FELL ASLEEP 😭 can u write smth about luffy/trafalgar/eustass reacting to reader having a dragon (like toothless from how to train ur dragon) and accidentally calling it (by whistling or telekinesis?? thinking) to their ship

that is such a cute idea omg i love it!! (sorry for the long absence, i’m slowly trying to get back into writing (;﹏;))

Luffy, Law & Kid reacting to their S/O having a Dragon and accidentally calling them (GN Reader)

Monkey D. Luffy

It was a boring day at the sea, nothing interesting was happening and everyone was doing their own thing

You were looking at the vast sea, listening to the waves hitting the Sunny

You felt your nose tickling and couldn’t hold your sneeze, who sounded a bit higher than usual (somewhere behind you you could have heard someone say “bless you”)

Luffy, who was just passing by, asked if you were alright and before you could respond the sound of thunder could be heard and a ball of dark scales jumped right unto you

You almost fell on your ass, but caught your little guy, who was a dragon the size of a small dog

You turned to your captain, who was..... Drooling?

Luffy, no! Not everything had to be food!

You hit him out of his state and explained that it was your pet dragon

You hadn’t meant to call it because they were still young but seeing how happy they were to see you, you had missed them too

You had a REAL dragon and Luffy found it so cool he wanted to know more about them

So you kept your dragon with you for a while, especially because Luffy wanted to say he had a dragon as a crewmate

Trafalgar Law

After a two days trip to the next island, everyone was happy to get out of the submarine the visit the new place

You offered to take a walk with Law, just to have some alone time for you two, which he accepted

The island was know for its weird birds and their weird sound, and you, having a talent for whistling, tried to communicate with each birds you could hear

Law found it amusing, watching you making fun of the birds with the weirdest noises

Until you both heard a noise that was not coming from a bird, sure they were all weird, but that noise sounded like something you’ve heard before

A big dragon landed in front of you two, growling and whimpering happily, scaring all the birds from the forest

Law got the idea you knew the dragon, seeing how calm you were and how non-hostile it was toward you

You sighed and hugged your big guy, explaining you might have called it by mistake by whistling something close to how you call it

Law was impressed that such beast existed, yeah the world had Celestial Dragons, that was just a fancy tittle, but he didn’t know about actual dragons

You took the rest of the day to tell the story of how you got to befriend a dragon, you even took Law for a ride on the back of your dragon, something he wasn’t sure at first but he ended up enjoying quite a lot!

Eustass Kid

You were doing your chores, cleaning the floor, if sucked but someone had to do it (and sadly it had to be you)

While you were mopping the floor, you accidentally hit the water bucket, who fell and water got everywhere

Kid, who was walking by at the same time, heard you swore in a language he never heard before

You silently started to panic when you saw Kid, with the look on his face it was clear that he heard you

Kid was about to speak, but something big fell from the sky unto the boat, making it shake, and almost everybody else got outside

A big dragon with dark scales was standing between you and them, staring at Kid and the others

Everyone was either panicking or getting ready to fight, so you quickly started to explain that dragon was your familiar, that you trained it to come to you when you spoke draconic

Kid was a bit mad at first you kinda hid it from him, especially because he was ready to kick some dragon ass to show how strong he is and now he couldn’t

Although, Kid liked the idea of fighting alongside a dragon, that would make him look so cool!! You HAD to summon your dragon in fights more often!

Chores were canceled for the rest of the day, instead everyone was focusing on your dragon, especially Kid who wanted to know everything about dragons, especially yours

[sokkastyles]

Abused kids are often not aware of or have trouble regulating their own emotions but tend to, conversely, be hyper aware of and tapped into the emotions of others. This is a survival mechanism in people who grow up with an abusive parent, because any sudden changes in the mood of the parent could indicate danger. See the scenes of Zuko when he is with Ozai, particularly in "The Awakening" and in the flashback to the war meeting in "The Phoenix King," when Zuko carefully measures his responses to his father's praise, because even accepting praise is dangerous and could be a trap.

Although Zuko is often oblivious in social interactions, he actually shows a pretty keen insight when it comes to mediating and understanding what the others need once he joins the gaang. He figures out that the loss of his firebending is connected to his change of coat, he helps Aang overcome his fear of fire at the same time he overcomes his own mental blocks with regard to his element, and he realizes that Sokka will go on a foolhardy mission to rescue his father no matter how much Zuko warns him that it's dangerous, so he resolves to go with him. Particularly in "The Southern Raiders" he pretty astutely figures out that the source of Katara's anger was her unresolved feelings about her mother's murder, and knew how to help her. He also shows keen insight into what Katara needs. Aang, though he means well, responds to Katara with moralizing that just makes her angrier and more determined to go her own way. Zuko offers her the means and lets her lead the way, and defends her to Aang after Katara had made it clear she did not agree with Aang. Zuko, in fact, gets angry at Aang on Katara's behalf, and interestingly, Katara, the person who regularly told off anyone who ever said a bad word to Aang and who, a few episodes ago, threatened to kill Zuko himself if he ever hurt Aang, says nothing in response to Zuko’s sarcastic words to Aang, only thanks Aang for understanding in a tone that implies that she doesn’t think Aang understands at all.

Zuko also seems to be aware of the tension between Katara and Aang at the end of the episode, as he purposefully leaves Katara on Ember Island and goes to speak to Aang himself about what happened when they confronted Yon Rha. This implies not only that Zuko knew Katara needed space to process her feelings, but that he knew that Aang and Katara would need time away from each other after the angry way they parted, and it also implies that Zuko wanted to explain Katara's perspective to Aang, fearing that Aang would misunderstand. Aang actually misunderstands anyway, wrongly assuming that Katara had forgiven Yon Rha, and Katara angrily tells him that she will never forgive her mother's murderer, but does forgive Zuko.

Zuko tells Aang that he was right about Katara, although that is contradicted by what Katara just said and the events of the episode. I know some people theorize that this was a result of a lack of unity in the writing, but I also don't think it's out of character for Zuko to say this, even though he also ultimately disagrees with Aang's stance on violence. Zuko is again playing a mediator role and playing both sides a bit, because the episode positions him between Aang and Katara, but he also leaves Aang with a challenge to his moral absolutism.

So I don't think it's a stretch to assume that in the very next episode, Zuko was also picking up on some tension between Aang and Katara when he sat between them. I'm not sure he knows about Aang's romantic feelings for Katara - although he would when he hears his actor on stage call Katara "the Avatar's girl" and sees Aang nod. But he does seem to pick up on Aang's irritation being about more than just a taken seat, as he responds with unprompted anger. Zuko also takes note of Aang’s increasing anger throughout the play, with a concerned expression on his face. 

Remember what I said about abused kids being hypersensitive to the changing moods of others? It might be that, or Zuko might be feeling anxious about his role in the play and feeling like he doesn’t deserve forgiveness, or it might be that Zuko is hyper aware of the conflict between Katara and Aang carried over from the last episode to this one.

Actually, this shot is particularly interesting because the rest of the gaang is laughing at the portrayal of Toph, including Katara, until Toph shows that she’s pleased by the play’s portrayal of her. Then we see Katara frown, her attention shifting to Aang. 

Katara is unhappy that her attempt to get even with Toph backfired, then when she notices Aang as the camera pans to her left, she looks even more unhappy. Then we see the shot above of Zuko looking at Aang with clear concern over the situation. I’m pretty sure that Zuko is aware that something is going on between Katara and Aang at this point. Especially since Aang’s anger at being played by a girl (which is made worse by Toph’s happiness at being played by a boy) is linked to his insecurity about his relationship with Katara, and the play keeps making jokes about it, meant for us to feel sorry for Aang for being put in the “little brother” zone.

I think Zuko was generally anxious going into the play. You can see when they walk in that he has his hood pulled up, to hide his face, because he's aware there's a chance someone will recognize him. So even before the play starts, with its incriminating and humiliating portrayal of him, he is probably already on alert and wants to draw as little attention to himself as possible. Aang's outburst is the kind of thing that would draw attention, and Zuko tries to minimize the attention by insisting that Aang just sit next to him. Zuko also reacts with defensive anger, as he is wont to do when he is anxious or upset, which of course would have the opposite effect from drawing attention away from them. But Aang acquiesces in frustration, and Katara, interestingly, notices the dispute, but just like when Zuko defended her to Aang in "The Southern Raiders," says nothing. Katara also is facing away, fidgety, and looks unhappy while the confrontation is going on. This is also consistent with (and probably contributed to) the way Katara reacts to Aang’s pushiness and accusations later on.

Zuko spends much of the back part of season three physically close to Katara, which is a visual way for the animators to show how close they have grown. It’s not necessarily an indication of romantic Zutara, although there is nothing wrong with interpreting it that way, and I find it hilarious how threatened some people are by shippers gushing over the idea that he wanted to sit next to her, particularly in this episode because this episode actually intentionally plays up the “love triangle” for the purposes of getting the audience to sympathize with Aang and root for him to “get the girl.” Regardless of whether we interpret it in a romantic context, I think it is a good indication of how Zuko feels about Katara once he has gotten her forgiveness. Given Zuko’s social ineptitude, it would make sense that he would be likely to want to stick close to the people he felt closest to, especially in situations where he is surrounded by potentially hostile strangers. Witness his behavior in “The Beach,” where he spent most of the time awkwardly glued to Mai’s side and it was when he was separated from Mai at the party that he ran into trouble with the other partygoers, who make fun of him. That might explain why Zuko, although he comes from the opposite direction when they enter the theater as everyone else does, walks all the way down the end of the aisle to sit next to Katara. 

It might also explain why he wants to sit in between Katara and Aang, as these are the two people who he now feels closest to. It also is very likely that he is subconsciously picking up on the tension between Katara and Aang, which comes to a head later in this very episode. It’s worth noting that Zuko is often positioned physically between Katara and Aang throughout this episode, which is meant to communicate to the audience Aang’s anxiety over Katara not returning his feelings (and Zuko plays an indirect part in that, or at least, his stage actor does).

Zuko is also positioned narratively between Aang and Katara as a mediator and comfort to Katara after her fight with Aang in the very next episode, “The Phoenix King,” in which Zuko tells Katara to let Aang figure things out for himself when he runs away after yelling at Katara.

So no, I don’t think the deliberate positioning of Zuko in between Aang and Katara is a coincidence, nor is it “lol Zuko is clueless!” I’m actually very tired of seeing people talk about how clueless Zuko is, especially since a lot of his reactions come from trauma. Even if Zuko didn’t pick up on Aang’s romantic feelings towards Katara he very obviously picks up on and reacts to and interacts with the dynamic between them. And it’s very telling that certain fans will complain about the “infantilization” of Zuko when it’s traits that make him seem sympathetic, but then talk about a traumatized abuse survivor as if they’re completely incompetent.

[jared-19-cant-reid]

Sunday Kind of Love

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Rating: M

Summary: You need a date to your sister’s wedding, and Spencer begrudgingly agrees to help you out. Your feelings for him become difficult to hide, and Spencer really commits to his role as your “boyfriend”.

Word Count: 5.3K

Content Warnings: Family conflict, minor angst, unprotected sex, Dom!Spencer/Sub!Reader, bondage, daddy kink, spitting, choking, breath play, exhibitionism/public sex, teensy bit of sacrilege

Author’s Note: This fic idea came to me while I was listening to “A Sunday Kind of Love” by Etta James, so I’d highly recommend listening to it if you read the fic. Gives you the ~vibe~. Anyway, this is way longer than I expected but Spencer and reader deserved the extra time! I hope u enjoy :)

~

“C’mon, just make an appearance with me!” You pleaded. “It’s just one night! How bad can it be?” I didn’t even believe the words as they came out of my mouth.

Morgan snorted at that, shaking his head as he moved to exit the bullpen. “Sorry, kid. I love you, but I am not spending my night off at your bitchy sister’s wedding.” 

You sighed, reluctantly stepping aside to allow him to leave. Beginning to lose hope, you turned to your only remaining coworker. Spencer was still sitting at his desk, busying himself with organizing drawers and repositioning folders to avoid meeting your gaze as you approached his desk.

“Spencer, please come with me tonight. I can’t deal with my sister alone, and I think I might die if I have to explain to her that the guy I told her I was bringing ghosted me last week.” As you spoke, you watched him try to think of a way to protect your feelings without going. In the year you’d worked at the BAU you’d come to see everyone on the team as family, but it was Reid you felt closest to. When he didn’t respond immediately, you put your hand on his shoulder. “Spence, I need you.” You spoke quietly, but he heard you clearly.

He looked up at you at your last words, visibly conflicted. You gave him your best puppy dog eyes, and he sighed, standing up. Knowing you had won, you threw your arms around his neck in a hug, nearly sending the two of you tumbling over in your enthusiasm. He tentatively wrapped his arms around you, returning the gesture of affection. 

His touch brought with it feelings of peace and happiness that you had come to associate with Spencer. Your smile grew impossibly wider as you thanked him a million and one times, squeezing him tightly as you felt relief spread through your body. Forcing yourself to pull away, you noticed his lips had quirked up into a small smile at your reaction.

“You know, almost twenty percent of weddings are called off. There’s still a chance it won’t even happen.” Spencer mumbled as you walked out together. You weren’t sure if he was trying to comfort you or himself. As you reached the garage, you thanked him again for agreeing to be your date. He just nodded, visibly nervous about the event.

You stopped him before he could start walking to the metro. “Let me drive you home,” you insisted, “it’ll be faster and we can talk over our game plan on the way!”

“Game plan?” He questioned, amused at your choice of words.

“Just pretend we’re going undercover on a case! We’ll get into character and everything. This can be fun if we make it fun.” Spencer seemed unconvinced, but he followed you to your car.

As you drove to his place, Spencer seemed to relax as he started to plan, happy to gain some control over the situation. You knew he hated big events, especially ones with a lot of strangers, but your deep dislike for most of your sister’s invite list meant you’d at least suffer together. Pulling up to the curb, you said a quick goodbye, telling him to be ready in an hour.

When you got home, you jumped through the shower, scrubbing off the stress of the work day to allow family-related stress to take its place. You quickly blew your hair dry, putting more effort into your hair and makeup than you usually did. As you reached your closet, you scanned your dresses for one that would match the maroon tie Spencer planned on wearing. A smile spread across your lips when you spotted it, your fingers toying with the soft fabric as you imagined Spencer’s reaction when he saw it. 

You tried to push the thought away, sighing at your own hopelessness. You’d been trying to bury your feelings for Spencer ever since you joined the BAU, but it was a losing battle. You found it impossible to ignore him, despite your efforts to remain neutral in his presence. Your heart swelled at the excitement shining in his soft hazel eyes, skipped a beat at the sight of his tongue resting between his lips in concentration, and stopped altogether at the way his hands moved and flexed when he spoke. The opportunity to spend this much one-on-one time with Spencer in what you were sure would be an incredibly flattering suit was almost worth the stress of dealing with your family. 

You slipped on the soft satin dress, admiring how it hugged your curves and flowed around your legs. The plunging v-neck was flattering, but tasteful enough to stave off disapproving looks from older guests, leaving you comfortable and confident. You stood in front of the mirror, taking in your appearance as you would a stranger’s. The face that looked back at you was friendly but tense, hands fiddling restlessly with the soft fabric of your dress. It didn’t take a profiler to see you needed to relax.

Taking a deep breath, you cleared your mind, taking a few minutes to give your mind rest and ground yourself. Opening your eyes again, your reflection looked much more peaceful, nodding as you decided you were ready to leave. As you drove to Spencer’s, you felt your heartbeat quickening, this time from excitement instead of stress. 

Knocking softly, you were surprised to hear Spencer’s footsteps already nearing you, as if he had been waiting by the door. As he stepped outside, your breath hitched. You shouldn’t be so affected by the sight of him, it’s not like he’d never worn a suit in front of you before. It was mostly the look on his face that struck you, his lips slightly parted and eyes scanning your body as he took in the sight of you. 

“So what do you think? Good enough to pass for a put-together adult who hasn’t been dreading this day for months?” You asked.

He took a second to respond. “Y-yeah, you… you definitely shouldn’t worry about it. I mean you look great- not that you don’t usually look great it’s just-”

You interrupted him for his own sake, giggling a soft “thank you, Spence. You don’t look half bad yourself.” Understatement of the century.

Soft music played through the speakers in your car, soothing your nerves as you hummed along to “A Sunday Kind of Love” quietly. You almost jumped when you heard Spencer begin to hum with you. 

“You know this song?! I didn’t know you listened to any non-classical music!” You exclaimed, unreasonably excited at your discovery.

“I’ve heard you listening to Etta James on the jet a couple times, so I checked out a couple of her songs,” Spencer said simply. You tried to pretend your heart hadn’t just exploded at the implications behind his words. You couldn’t trust your voice to mask your overflowing adoration for the man beside you, so you just smiled and began to sing along quietly.

Oh I'm hoping to discover

A certain kind of lover

Who will show me the way

Lost in the music, you were surprised for the second time that car ride by Spencer’s voice joining yours to sing the chorus. Your eyes shot to his face, but he kept his eyes forward, a small smile the only sign he’d seen your reaction. You couldn’t help the smile that stretched across your face as you sang with him, his attempts at melody bringing a smile to your face. The words seemed to gain meaning as your voices joined together, both looking forward but focused fully on each other.

To keep me warm when Mondays and Tuesdays grow cold

Love for all my life to have and to hold

Oh and I want a Sunday kind of love

Before you knew it, you had arrived. It was as if the bubble that had protected you from the reality of the situation had popped, leaving you exposed to the harsh world that lay waiting for you. Spencer reached out and squeezed your hand, silently reassuring you of his presence, his support, unwavering as you faced the night together.

Nodding slightly, you let go of his hand and stepped out of the car. Spencer walked beside you to the entrance of the church, close enough that you could feel his body heat. As you got closer, you groaned internally at the sight of your mother. 

A fake smile stretched across her lips, nodding at a woman whose outfit was so brightly colored you nearly had to look away from the glare. Her smile dropped for a split second when she saw you, but quickly returned with twice the artificial sweetness as before. She called out your name, voice straining with the effort it took to sound happy to see you. 

“This can’t be the boy you’ve been seeing! Much more handsome than I expected, how much did he cost you? Just kidding, of course.” Her laugh was somehow faker than her smile. You saw Spencer tense up beside you, and opened your mouth to correct her. She wouldn’t openly admit it, but you were sure your mother would be smug about the fact you and Spencer were just friends.

Before you could say anything, Spencer’s next words sent you reeling.

“Actually, I’m her boyfriend. Glad to finally meet you.” He said as politely as he could, though you could tell he disliked her already. Spencer had never had much patience for people who made jokes at others’ expense. 

You were still processing what he’d just said when his arm wrapped around you, gripping your waist. The feeling of his hands on your body was almost too much for you, and you struggled to pay attention as your mother smiled and made smalltalk with Spencer that walked the line between passive aggressiveness and outright hostility.

You finally registered what was happening when your mother made some excuse to leave, off to emotionally torture a new victim. Your head whipped to face Spencer, your mouth hanging open, confusion written on your face. 

“Why did you-” you began, interrupted by Spencer’s panicked words laced with regret.

“I’m so sorry, I know we didn’t plan on pretending to be a couple tonight, but she just seemed so smug about it and I wasn’t thinking clearly and I just-” he rushed out. Now it was your turn to cut him off.

“Spencer, thank you. I’m not mad, I promise.” You leaned into his chest, the arm still wrapped around you tightening. “I guess we’ll just have to pretend we’re dating for the rest of tonight, though.”

The two of you slowly made your way into the church, stopping a few times to chat with relatives who called out to you. Everyone was charmed by Spencer, who played the part of your boyfriend remarkably well. You found seats on the right, farthest from the aisle in an attempt to limit your interaction with other guests. Sitting down, you remembered how uncomfortable church pews were, the hours you’d spent in mass with your family all coming back to you now. 

Looking around, however, you were reminded of what had gotten you through it. The stained glass windows that surrounded you created a kaleidoscope in your field of vision, capturing your attention for long enough to forget why you had been uncomfortable in the first place. You looked back at Spencer to find him already looking at you, sending a small blush to your cheeks. 

“Did you know that stained glass was originally used in Catholic churches to tell stories from the Bible visually for the benefit of illiterate churchgoers? During the English Reformation, many stained glass windows were smashed and destroyed as part of the 1547 Injunctions against images. In fact, all images in churches were ordered to be removed. If it weren’t for that period in history, more stained glass would likely have- sorry, I’m doing it again.” Spencer’s eyes were cast down at the floor, only to shoot back up to your face when he felt your hand on his.

“I like listening to you. Why did they want to destroy all the images in churches?” You asked, leaving Spencer speechless for a second, seemingly unable to process your request for him to continue his rambling. With a small smile, he continued to explain the importance of the English Reformation to religious art as you watched him adoringly.

The ceremony started all too soon, pulling your attention to the front of the church. As you and Spencer listened to the seemingly endless stream of anecdotes about love and life that the pastor had clearly spent years reciting, your eyes started to glaze over. You pushed thoughts about marriage and family and religion out of your mind, preferring emptiness. Your mind didn’t stay blank for long, though.

Apparently Spencer had noticed your change in mood, because he brought his hand to rest on your thigh in a comforting gesture of solidarity. Unfortunately, you were unable to respond in any way, overwhelmed by the feeling of his hand flattened against the satin fabric of your dress.  His thumb beginning to rub small circles into your skin, you felt your heart rate quicken. The warmth he brought to your thigh began to spread through your body, suddenly finding the church unbearably hot. 

Spencer seemed unaffected by the room’s sudden warming, keeping his gaze locked on the happy couple. You took a shaky breath and tried to calm yourself down, reminding yourself that you were overreacting to what was likely a completely platonic display of affection. The ceremony seemed to drag on for hours, but that might have had something to do with the constant effort it took to mask the desire and panic that Spencer’s touch had ignited in you. 

You were broken from your trance of concentration by the feeling of his hand inching higher on your leg. Whipping your head around to face him, his gaze remained fixed on the pastor, pressing his lips together to hide a smirk. Your breath caught in your throat as you felt Spencer’s hand slowly make its way up your thigh, paralyzed by shock and desperation. His grip tightened as he glanced at your face, reading your reaction to his touch. Before you had a chance to respond, it was withdrawn, the world around you coming back into focus as everyone began to clap. The ceremony was over. 

When you went to stand up after the recessional, you nearly stumbled on your weak legs. Spencer stabilized you, guiding you through the pews and through the hallways with his hand on your lower back. As you followed the crowd to the banquet hall, the gears in your mind were turning slower than usual, as if they had rusted in the time you hadn’t allowed them to work through the idea of Spencer returning your feelings. Finding your seats, you and Spencer were faced with one of the greatest challenges of your night: extended conversation with your family and their similarly judgemental friends.

The overlapping chatter of so many people at once was clearly bothering Spencer, but he stuck it out for your sake. You felt a tug in your chest at the thought of the effort it must be taking for him to stay in such an uncomfortable situation. He played his part beautifully, though, responding to the borderline offensive questions directed at you politely but firmly, protecting you from their attacks. Your sister would usually have led the onslaught, but thankfully she was preoccupied yelling at the photographer for some suggestion she’d taken as a personal slight. 

When Spencer struggled to answer questions about your “relationship”, you took over. He had never been a good liar, and while you loved that about him, you knew it could blow your cover if you allowed him to continue.

In your story, the two of you still worked at the BAU, having started dating a few months after you joined. You threw in small details from your countless daydreams, centering them around real events so that the tale was completely believable. Maybe too believable, you worried, feeling Spencer’s eyes on you as you talked. Under the protection of a lie, you had finally been free to speak the truth, pouring a year’s worth of pining and affection into your words as you concocted a love story you wished was real. 

You heard a band start to play, a bluesy vocalist at the center of the ensemble. The music filled the hall as the newlyweds rose for their first dance. A small crowd gathered around the pair as they moved in synchrony, every step practiced and planned. A few songs later, many couples were swaying together, tonight’s celebration of love bringing out the romantic in most. 

You turned to Spencer, nodding your head at the band. “We should probably dance for a song or two, just for appearance’s sake.” Spencer looked uncomfortable, but nodded and followed you closer to the source of the music.

Raising your hand to his shoulder while his landed on your hip, you felt a warmth spread through you as you joined hands. Fingers intertwining, you began to move along with the slow song that had been playing, stumbling at first but moving more smoothly as time went on. You had no idea how many songs passed while the two of you swayed, apprehension and desire swirling in the air between you. It took a second for you to notice it, but as soon as you did, Spencer’s small smile told you he had as well. 

The smooth vocals of the singer sounded even more lovely on Etta James’s familiar melody, filling you with an intense emotion you couldn’t put words to.

I want a Sunday kind of love

A love to last past Saturday night

And I'd like to know it's more than love at first sight

And I want a Sunday kind of love

The feeling in your chest grew as you looked into Spencer’s eyes as the song continued, your chest threatening to burst with whatever magical dust you’d inhaled from the shared breath between your faces. Wrapping your arms around his neck and resting your head on his shoulder, you were overcome with a feeling of safety and contentment as he returned your embrace. You swayed together as you began to ponder the cliches you’d always despised, begrudgingly admitting that you now understood the sentiment that nothing in the world mattered but the two of you.

As the song ended, you gathered up all the courage you had, and spoke before your mind could think through the possible negative outcomes of what you were suggesting.

“I need to tell you something,” you started. You felt his grip on you tighten, as if afraid what you would say next would take him from you, but he let you continue. “I think I love you, Spencer.”

He didn’t respond, but you felt him pull away from you. You felt cold without the contact, but it was nothing compared to the loss you felt in your chest as you realized what you’d done. He didn’t feel the same way.

You opened your mouth to apologize, to try to undo the damage you’d done, but before you could say anything he was dragging you toward a hallway. Overcome with confusion and fear of losing him, you didn’t realize where you were going until Spencer opened the door to the single-use bathroom and pulled you inside.

“Spence-” you began, the rest of whatever you had been about to say swallowed by Spencer’s lips as they moved against yours with urgency, his hands coming to cup your face gently. You didn’t hesitate to kiss him back, the coldness you’d felt replaced by the warmest light filling your chest.

Your hands found his hair, pulling him closer to you as you tried to eliminate any space left between your bodies. A frantic mess of hands and lips exploring any exposed skin, you stumbled backwards with the force of Spencer’s kiss, hearing the door lock as your back hit the cold wood. Your hands slipped under his suit jacket, moaning at the feeling of his firm body under your hands. He shrugged it off completely, allowing the jacket to fall on the floor, his germophobia trumped by his need to feel your warmth. 

You moaned into his mouth as his hands wandered your body, leaving goosebumps in his wake. As the kiss became more heated, you noticed that he seemed to withdraw whenever he noticed his touch had gotten rougher, clearly holding back so he wouldn’t hurt you. You smiled into the kiss at the care he showed for you, but your desire to see him fully let go was too strong to allow it to continue. You weren’t sure exactly what he was willing to do, but you took your second biggest risk of the night, showing him what you wanted.

Finding his hand on your body, you laced your fingers between his, kissing him sweetly before pulling away with an innocent look on your face. Spencer stared down at you, confusion clear on his face. You brought his hand up to your mouth, kissing the back of it before moving your hand to his wrist. He watched you intently, unsure what you were doing. Staring up at him with an angelic smile, you brought his hand to your neck, his fingers curling around it instinctively.

 As he realized what you were asking of him, his eyes darkened and his grip around your neck tightened. “This is what you wanted, huh?” He spoke lowly, a small smirk forming on his lips. “So needy for me. Would’ve let me fuck you in front of all those people back there, practically shaking just from my hand on your thigh.”

You whimpered, turned on beyond belief by this new side of Spencer. His smirk widened at your reaction to his words, pressing his body against yours, his hardness pressing into you. 

“Feel that? Feel what you do to me?” He growled. “Let me show you how I deal with pretty little whores like you.” He stepped away from you, eyes hungrily raking over your body as he began to unbuckle his belt. You just stood there, watching his hands as your mind flashed back to all the times you’d imagined this happening. Somehow this was even better than your wildest imagination had been able to conjure.

“What are you waiting for? Get on your knees” He spat out. The words shot straight to your core, and without hesitation you dropped to your knees in front of him. You watched as he pulled the belt from its loops, but frowned in confusion when he didn’t discard it. He walked around behind you, grabbing each of your wrists and pulling them together. Oh. When he was sure the belt wasn’t too tight, he whispered in your ear how pretty you looked tied up for him, your whimper at the words causing him to let out a dark chuckle.

He returned to the front of you, leaning down to toy with your bottom lip. “Show me you deserve to suck my cock, princess.” He instructed, slipping his thumb into your mouth. You moaned around his finger at that, and instinctively began sucking on the digit. You hollowed your cheeks around it, running your tongue along the length of his thumb before pulling back to swirl your tongue around the tip. He must have approved of your demonstration, because he removed his thumb, pulling down the clothing restricting him in one motion. 

Your eyes widened at his size, his smirk growing when you leaned forward instinctively to take him into your mouth. When he grabbed your hair to stop you, you looked up at him in confusion. 

“Good girls ask for permission.” Your eyes fluttered shut at that, wanting nothing more than to be good for him. 

“Please, let me suck you off, I want you in my mouth,” you begged. He seemed pleased, his hand still in your hair pulling you forward. When your lips wrapped around his cock the hand on your head pushed you down roughly, making you take all of him into your mouth, the tip pressing hard against the back of your throat. You moaned through the gag, your panties likely soaked by now from your arousal at his dominance. 

As he began to fuck your throat, you wrapped your lips around him tightly, timing your breaths so you wouldn’t have to stop for air. Words of praise mixed with degradation fell from his lips as he worked your mouth on him. Tears pricked at your eyes at the feeling of him against your throat, spilling over as he continued his ruthless pace. 

When he pulled you off of him, a dark smile appeared on Spencer’s face at your disheveled state. He pulled you up so you were standing before him, hands still bound behind your back. He stepped back to admire you.

“Look at you, such a mess for me. What do you want, pretty girl?” He asked, voice still commanding but much softer now, genuinely checking in with you.

“I want you, please, need it so bad,” you practically moaned. He moved forward to meet your mouth with his, one hand coming to rest around your throat while the other gripped your hair, fully in control of your movements. He pulled your hair back, breaking the kiss as he tilted your head up to look him in the eyes. 

“Jump.” He commanded. You didn’t hesitate, wrapping your legs around him as he walked you over to the sink, setting you down on the cold porcelain. His mouth rejoined with yours the second you felt the bowl of the sink digging into you. As Spencer’s hands roamed your body, he lost patience with your dress, pulling it down so your tits spilled out of the top. You moaned as he took one nipple into his mouth, a skilled hand toying with the other. His other hand lowered to the hem of your dress, pushing it up to gain full access to you.

Spencer moaned against your chest as he felt the dampness of your panties, soaked all the way through before he had even started to pleasure you. His fingers ran up and down over the wet fabric, applying pressure over your clit that sent your eyes rolling back. You made a noise of complaint at the loss of contact when he withdrew his hand, but were quickly silenced by a hand over your mouth.

“You’ll take what I give you, slut.” Spencer gritted out, tearing your panties off with the last word. His hand came up to your entrance, teasing you as his fingers ran up and down your slit. Gathering your wetness, he moved up to your clit, rubbing circles that left you moaning uncontrollably into his hand. “Can you snap for me, baby?” He asked. You were confused, but you did anyway. “Good girl. That’s your safeword for when you can’t talk.”

Before you could read too much into the statement, he plunged a finger deep into you, causing you to arch your back into him. Your moans still muffled by his hand, he set a brutal pace, adding another finger when he felt you start to clench around him. Tightening his hand over your mouth and nose, he cut off your breath as you approached your peak, your eyes glazing over with pleasure. The high of the lack of oxygen along with the haze that came with this level of submission left you fully pliant, his to play with how he wanted.

Right as your lungs began to burn, your orgasm shook your body, and Spencer let go at that exact moment. The relief of oxygen once again flooding your lungs added on to the euphoria that overtook you, your body shaking as you came down from your high. 

You didn’t have much time to recover, as you were brought back to reality with the sensation of the tip of Spencer’s cock teasing your slit. The overstimulation shook you, but with every second your need to feel him inside of you grew stronger. Your whimpers turned into pleas, and in your desperate state you didn’t realize what you were saying until it was too late.

“What was that?” Spencer asked, withdrawing completely.

“I-I’m sorry, it was an accident, I didn’t mean to, I’ll never-” you were interrupted by an unexpected demand.

“Say it again.”

“What?”

“Say. It. Again.” Spencer gritted out, his eyes darkening with each word.

“Please fuck me, daddy.” You said shakily.

A look of satisfaction came over Spencer’s face as he slammed into you without warning, setting a rough pace. You began to chant his new title, and his hand came up to choke you, fingers pressing into your carotid arteries just beneath your jaw. He wasn’t putting any pressure on your windpipe, but your lightheadedness from the reduced blood flow made it feel harder to breathe, the feeling of being owned by the man you loved only intensifying your pleasure. 

Spencer towered over you as he continued his assault, his other hand coming up to muffle your moans by allowing you to suck on his fingers. When he withdrew them to pay attention to your body elsewhere, he was confused to see you stick out your tongue. When the wave of understanding washed over him, he couldn’t hold back his smile. Bringing his hand up to trace your cheek, he looked at you lovingly before spitting in your mouth, watching in awe as you eagerly swallowed and met him with an innocent smile that contrasted beautifully with your actions. 

As you began to feel the knot in your stomach building again, Spencer increased his pace. Bringing one of his fingers to your clit, Spencer knew you were nearing the edge, and fast. “Come for me, pretty girl.” He ordered.

You obliged, Spencer’s kiss swallowing the moans spilling from your mouth. He followed soon after, sent into ecstasy by the image and sensation of you coming apart under him. As he filled you up, you felt a bliss that you’d never experienced before, using your lips to show him how he’d affected you as he fucked you through both of your orgasms. When you eventually parted, it was quiet for a moment. 

As Spencer helped you off the sink and removed the belt from your wrists, massaging the tender skin, you began to laugh. It started out as a small giggle, but it soon turned into a full belly laugh, bringing tears to your eyes. Spencer was taken aback at first, but son couldn’t help but join you. You both laughed until your stomachs hurt, and when you could finally speak again your first words were “we just had sex in a church bathroom.” 

Holding back another bout of laughter, Spencer responded, “I have to say, this wasn’t how I imagined tonight going.” He took a step towards you, arms lacing around your waist. “I’m not complaining, though.”

You pulled him down to meet him in a kiss, your teeth clacking as neither of you could hold back your smiles. When you broke apart, Spencer’s forehead stayed pressed against yours. “I love you,” he said quietly, “I have for a long time now. I just never thought you would feel the same way.”

You couldn’t hold back the happy tears that formed in the corners of your eyes.  Wordlessly, you pulled him into a hug, your bodies coming together like two pieces of a puzzle that had finally been connected. You stayed there for a while, just feeling each other breathe. 

In a few minutes, you’d sneak out the back door of the church. In a few minutes, you’d leave the room with no need for lies to excuse your shared affection. In a few minutes, you’d have to deal with the paperwork that Hotch would inevitably require. But for these last few minutes, all you had to do was hold each other. For now, you were just two people in love, and that was enough.

[jungblue]

aphrodite in war | 01

pairing: jeon jungkook x reader

genre: comedy, fluff, angst, eventual smut / greek life, fake dating, roommates, lovers to enemies and back to lovers au

word count: 11,022

description: Everyone knew about the war that had been brewing on the edge of campus for the past two years. Sorority versus Fraternity; a showdown for the ages. However, when the escalating antics between them yields the consequence of possible suspensions for both chapters, the presidents of each house must come together to try and figure out how to end this battle... Which is kind of hard, considering they were the ones responsible for it in the first place.

note: here is an audio post of a beautiful song with lyrics inspired by AiW, which was written by one of my lovely readers!

→ part 02

Hostility bleeds deep. The rivers of resentment collide violently as they carve a divide so saturated in disdain between the parties involved that you don’t even need to be told that there is something more to the story. It doesn’t need to be said out loud, but is just instinctively felt.

You didn’t need to be told that the ominous house at the end of street was sketchy and should be avoided at all cost; you just knew it. You didn’t need to be told that there was bad blood between the guy and girl whose jaws suddenly stiffened as their lips transformed into a firm, straight line when they caught sight of each other at a party; you just knew it — And you most certainly didn’t need to be told that there was an absolute war brewing at the end of Greek Drive between the Tri Delts and Lambdas; you just fucking knew it.

In the beginning, their rivalry was small. It was simple antics such as egging each other’s houses or fucking around with the letters that they so proudly displayed on their lawns. But then it turned a bit more intense. Egging the houses turned into spray-painting them and fucking with the letters on their lawns turned into completely trashing each other’s lawns. It was because of this that the once harmless pranks turned infamous. Everything that happened between their houses had constantly been circulated around campus for the past two years, or at the very least among their Greek counterparts… Which was probably how the two newly inducted presidents of Delta Delta Delta and Lambda Phi Epsilon, on the very first week of their final year in college, found themselves sitting in the office of a much higher power than their own titles — The president of their university; a single word spilling past his lips that had their stomachs twisting.

“Suspension!?” They both yelled in disbelief.

It was a word no organization wanted to hear. It branded your chapters with a shame that would be painted across the local news stations and even across the country. The lines would blur, only to lump them in with those terrible hazing stories that constantly flooded the media.

“P-president Kwon,” Jungkook finally stuttered out after a moment of coming to terms with the seriousness of the situation they were being faced with. “I don’t know what you’ve heard, but I promise the very... minor pranks that go on between our houses are probably much less problematic than what you’re thinking.”

“Mr. Jeon, do you think that we would threaten something of such dramatic action without several instances of confirmed proof?” President Kwon asked in a clipped tone as he leaned forward in his chair.

You could see the way that Jungkook blanched next to you, clearly not expecting this harsh treatment from President Kwon. Lambda Phi Epsilon happened to be President Kwon’s former fraternity, so it was well known that there was a good relationship there. However, in this moment you could make out nothing except for a glaring, red warning shining off the president’s ice-cold eyes.  

“I — no, sir,” Jungkook whispered, dropping his head slightly to hide the sudden flush of red that was rushing to his face.

“It is more embarrassing than I can possibly describe to the two of you, receiving dozens upon dozens of phone calls and emails over the incidents involving your organizations. Garbage littering every inch of your front yards, obscene images drawn onto your houses, several instances of animal control having to be called due to rodents being set free in the house as a… as a prank? All of this is happening while visits from prospective students and their parents are being conducted. Donors who help this school are wandering the campus and seeing it. Tell me, did the incidents I just mentioned not actually transpire, Mr. Jeon? Ms. Y/L/N?”

The air was so stiff that you barely managed a shaky inhale in order to respond to the juvenile antics being laid out before you. “No, th-they did transpire, sir. And I don’t know what to say besides that I’m so, so sorry that we’ve embarrassed the university this way.” You bit at the inside of your cheek, President Kwon’s relentless glare of disappointment cutting you through and through.

“Yes, so completely sorry,” Jungkook added.

Nothing was said for a few moments after that. It seemed President Kwon wanted to make the two of you squirm for everything that you had done, and it was definitely working. Every movement made you feel self-conscious, the judgement permeating the office air felt as if it were sticking to your skin.

“I know that what we’ve done is completely unacceptable, President Kwon,” You began, not being able to take the silence anymore. “But I promise if you give us just one more chance, we’ll clean up our acts. No more pranks, just cordial neighbors. As the new presidents of our chapters this year, we’ll make sure the members understand that this behavior isn’t something that will be tolerated anymore.”

Jungkook was nodding his head next to you in agreeance. But once again the room was plunged into silence. It was honestly torture, sitting there under such scrutiny as someone held something so dear to you in the palm of their hand. It would break your heart if the suspension actually went through… Considering it was yours and Jungkook’s fault that tensions had gotten to where they were in the first place. The bad blood between the two of you had seeped into the minds of your members as well, which was ultimately how it got so ugly. But it had gotten especially bad this year now that you were the respective presidents of each of your houses and had allowed things to escalate further. Harsh feelings between two people couldn’t do much damage, but when it was dozens versus dozens, well that was when things got messy.

Eventually though you found yourself being pulled back to reality. President Kwon cleared his throat, the sound making your heart stutter in your chest as you prepared yourself for the worst.

“You’re exactly right. It won’t be tolerated any longer.” He paused for a moment, probably for the added effect of letting anxiety seize its way around your lungs. “Probation for the next three months. One more incident and it’s over. Do you understand?”

At that there was a simultaneous sigh of relief from you and Jungkook as the looming consequence faded… At least for now.

“Thank you so much, President Kwon.” Jungkook stood from his chair, reaching across the table to shake his hand. “I promise we won’t mess this up.”

You lifted yourself up from your chair as well, following his lead. “Yes, we promise.”

“I hope that’s true,” Is all President Kwon responded with as he led the two of you towards the door of his office. “Take care.”

With rather mumbled and rushed goodbyes you exited his office, the two of you shuffling quickly down the hallway until you were sure you were out of earshot. Both of you stopped as you turned the corner, insults already resting on the tips of your tongues.

“This is all your fucking fault!” You yelled in a hushed whisper.

“My fault!?” He whispered back, equally as intense. “You’re the one who started this shit, Y/N. No one would even be fighting if you hadn’t opened your mouth to your friends.”

“I was just venting to them! I had no idea that they would go and actually do something about it. And it was a harmless prank. They planted fucking flowers in front of your house for god’s sake, and your loser friends retaliated by digging holes in our yard. You guys are the ones who escalated it, and now it’s this out of control thing that’s going to get our chapters suspended!” Your chest was rising and falling, anger boiling inside of your blood. You had never even partaken in any of the antics that had gone on between the two houses nor had you baited any of your members into participating.

Jungkook rolled his eyes, tongue pressing at the inside of his cheek. “You know what? It’s whatever. We’ve been arguing about this for two years now, so I’m not expecting you to be reasonable any time soon.”

Your fists clenched at your sides, the painful reminder of how long this had been going on searing a deep cut across your chest. But it was like Jungkook had said, this had been going on for a long time and there was no point in arguing about who was right, because it wasn’t as if it actually mattered. So instead, you just didn’t respond. You stared at him for a moment, sneer fading into this sad downward turn of your lips. And surprisingly you watched the way his expression softened as well. His brows were furrowing a little less, his jaw not as hard and brooding.

You gave him a tiny nod before you turned away and headed towards the exit. It was a few seconds before you heard his footsteps start to follow you. Every time his sneakers would squeak against the linoleum floor behind you, it felt like this tiny pressure was beginning to build at the base of your throat. You weren’t sure why you still got these feelings of… longing, even after all of this passed time. It was pathetic. Jungkook apparently didn’t long for anything from back then, so why did you?

Eventually you were able to breathe a little clearer once you pushed your way through the exit and away from the tight and tense space of faculty meetings and suspension threats. The fresh air filled your rattled lungs — too bad it was murky and humid beneath the gray storm clouds that were currently drowning the campus in a depressing drizzle.

“Goddammit,” You muttered beneath your breath.

You didn’t drive here since this building had been so close to your last class of the day. The Tri Delt house was about a ten minute walk from here, so it looked like you needed to get going before the light sprinkle of rain turned into a thunderstorm. You were about to step out from underneath the overhead of the roof and down the steps when you felt a light tug of someone pulling at the back of the belt loop on your jeans. 

“Do you need a ride?” Jungkook asked before you had even turned around to fully face him. His expression was neutral. It didn’t seem annoyed or concerned, but he had always been good at hiding his emotions like that.  

Of course you didn’t want to walk home in the rain, but sitting in a confined space with Jungkook after you’d both just gotten done yelling at one another didn’t seem like the greatest time either. But in the end, you decided that a few minutes wouldn’t kill you. “Yeah, I guess,” You whispered, motioning for him to go ahead so you could follow. His car was parked in one of the first spots at the bottom of the steps. You were both silent as you opened the doors and climbed inside.

It was weird. You hadn’t been in Jungkook’s car in years. You watched him pull out of the parking space, one hand on the wheel, the other leaning against the center console. It felt all too familiar. You blew a heady sigh past your lips, hands wringing in your lap. It didn’t seem to matter how much time passed, the tension between you and him never seemed to lessen. It was a constant, palpable stiffness in the air.

“Do you think we’ll be able to get them to stop fighting?” Jungkook finally asked once they turned onto Greek Drive, giving some mild relief to the strain that the two of you were so highly aware of.

“If suspension doesn’t do it, then I honestly don’t know what would.”

He nodded, seeming to agree. “Yeah, I’m sure they’ll cut it out.”

“Yeah, they can’t be that dumb—” However, your words seemed to disintegrate along your tongue as the car approached the Lambda and Tri Delt houses that stood side by side.

“Jesus Christ,” Jungkook muttered, pulling into the driveway which currently had a Lambda named Jimin running down it towards his truck that was completely covered in saran-wrap and a laughing Tri Delt named Joy who was holding said saran-wrap.

“Get back here and take this shit off my truck right now!” You heard Jimin yell.

“Nope, I’m good.” She smiled, shrugging and taunting him as she jogged away.

“This… This might be harder than we thought,” You said.

Jungkook rested his head against the steering wheel, eyes closed. “Yeah, way fucking harder.”

---------

It was several mass group texts later, demanding that every Lambda and Tri Delt come to their houses immediately, that all forty-two members of the combined organizations who actually lived in-house finally arrived… Yeah, there was no way that this could go terribly wrong or anything… Right?

You and Jungkook stood in front of the members as they gathered on the grassy area that separated your two houses. As expected there were dozens of mumbled conversations transpiring, all speculating on what the hell was going on here. You looked to Jungkook, giving him a nod to tell him that they should start.

He cleared his throat, clapping his hands together, resulting in large boom that got everyone’s attention. “All right, listen up. We have something important we need to discuss.”

“Jungkook, why the hell are the Tri Delts here?” A Lambda named Yuta yelled out.

“Because we can be, asshole.” It was Jennie.

“Who’re you calling an asshole?” Taehyung asked, even though he had nothing to do with it.

“Your dickhead friend,” Sana responded, again even though it had nothing to do with her.

And then Chanyeol chimed in, followed by Momo, which then got escalated by Johnny and continued by Dahyun. After that you lost track of who was arguing because it just became a giant clusterfuck of people yelling and this was the perfect example of how this entire war started — people getting involved in the business of others that didn’t even concern them.

You started rubbing at your temples, fingernails digging into your palms. This was enough. “Shut the fuck up!” You yelled, a loud echo that reverberated through the air and hushed everyone into silence. “This is why you’re all here.” You motioned towards them.

“What do you mean?” Someone asked from the back. “What’s going on?”

“Me and Y/N had a meeting with President Kwon today,” Jungkook paused, releasing a deep sigh before continuing. “He said that if we all keep publicly fighting the way we have been… that our chapters will get suspended.” 

There was a small pause, as if it didn’t immediately click with everyone what had been said — and then the panic set in. 

“What?!”

“No fucking way!”

“He can’t be serious!”

“That’s bullshit!” 

“This is just another prank, right?!” 

Having forty-two people publicly shouting expletives, wasn’t the best start to this image reset that President Kwon wanted, but there was no way either of the chapters would have been okay with the other house coming into their own, so this little outdoor set-up was the best option they had. 

You and Jungkook sort of just stood there for a moment, letting the members get their gut-reactions out. Then he turned to you, motioning towards the mob of angry Greek lifers. “You were always better at yelling than me. You wanna quiet them down?” He smirked, a jab that had you clenching your teeth. 

“Great way to start off this so called peace treaty, but sure, I’ll gladly calm them down and get straight to the point. I wouldn’t want to let them drown in their own heads without knowing what’s going on because someone won’t just be upfront.” You stared him straight in the eyes, making sure he got your double meaning since he wanted to play dirty and bring up the past. He simply clenched his jaw and averted his gaze back to the crowd of hysterics laid out before them. 

“Quiet down and we’ll explain.” You yelled as loud as you could, hoping it would reach everyone so that the chatter would die down quickly. Luckily it seemed they were all on the verge of a mental breakdown and needed answers, so the volume was almost instantly brought down to a hush. All eyes were now on you. “To make things simple, President Kwon thinks that our little prank war or whatever the hell you want to call it, has brought too much negative attention to the school. Visiting students and their parents, donors, and apparently a lot of other people have noticed all of the antics that we pull on each other, and they don’t like it.” You paused, gauging the reactions, but everyone was just frozen in place, waiting for more details. “He put both of our houses on three months of probation and said that if we don’t clean up our acts and stop with all of this petty bullshit that he would suspend our chapters. So, really it’s that easy. We just have to let this feud die down...” You paused, not wanting to say what you were going to say next, but you thought that it would be the best way to diffuse the situation. “And I know that it was the venting of my personal feelings that started this entire thing, so I wanted to say… I’m sorry for causing it.” You didn’t look towards Jungkook, but you could feel his stare burning into the side of your face. You didn’t want to see his expression. Didn’t want to see the smugness or whatever the hell he was feeling towards this forced public apology. You were about to continue, but before you could, a high-pitched voice cut in. 

“No, why are you apologizing?” Sana said, stepping past the front lines of the two groups. “It is not your fault.” She shot a glare towards Jungkook who simply rolled his eyes and kept his stare straight ahead. 

Then it was Jennie pushing to the front to join in on your defense. “She’s right, Y/N. It’s not your fault. We’re the ones who planted the flowers as a joke. Even though it was a harmless joke,” She turned towards the Lambda boys, venom coating her words, “that made their trashy house look a little bit nicer. Yet, they had to escalate it into something else.”

Oh, this was not good.

Jimin broke through the front line for the Lambdas, a scowl etched across his face. “It’s not the issue of what you did. It’s the fact that back then you blindly fucked with the house that all of the guys lived in, not only Jungkook, just because of Y/N being upset over their relationship — which, he did nothing wrong since you wanna start glaring at people for no fucking reason Sana.” 

It was this violent concoction of anger and sadness colliding inside of your stomach that had you simultaneously fighting back the urge to bite off Jimin’s head or crying pathetically in front of everyone. 

Multiple people were stepping to the front of their groups now, various arguments splintering off as people began defending the heads of their respective houses. Y/N this, Jungkook that. You stared at the second story of the Tri Delt house, focusing in on the bedroom window all the way to the right (your bedroom), so that your hearing would blur out. You didn’t want to listen to these arguments any more, but you also didn’t have the energy to both somehow defend yourself while also admitting that Jungkook’s feelings from back then were also valid. So you stood there, eyes glazing over at the sight of the room where this entire feud spawned from. Though, maybe that wasn’t exactly correct. According to Jungkook it had started in no particular place and at no particular time that he could actually pinpoint. That was just the place where it had all finally been verbalized. 

You weren’t sure how long you zoned out for, just reminiscing on the conversation from that night, but it was Jungkook’s voice thundering through the air that halted everyone’s arguments once again, along with your torturous thoughts. 

“All of you just fucking stop!” He yelled. “It doesn’t matter whose fault it is or how it started. If we keep doing this we’re gonna get our chapters suspended. Do you guys want that?” There was an awkward moment of silence where everyone was just sort of looking around at one another before the members finally grumbled a unanimous ‘no.’ “Okay, so then you guys are just gonna have to get over this bullshit, just like how me and Y/N are,” Jungkook paused, one brow arched as he turned to face you. “Right?”

You felt your face heat up as you clamped your teeth down onto the inside of your cheek. “…Right.”

“Good.” Jungkook smiled, seeming very happy with himself for getting that out of you — smug asshole. He turned back to face all of the members, clapping his hands together before saying something that caused the entire group to erupt into hysterics. “Now, apologize to each other.”

“Fuck that!” Someone screeched from the back. “Baek let the air out of my tires last year. I was late for my final.” 

“Because you put a pair of panties in my car and my girlfriend thought I was cheating on her!” 

“You probably were!”

Everyone was screaming and calling out various incidents, saying there was no way in hell they were ever going to apologize. 

“Fine! Fucking fine!” Jungkook cut in immediately before it could devolve again. “How about if me and Y/N just apologize to each other and it’ll count for the rest of you? And then this war is dead. Sound fair?” 

No one said anything concrete in response, just unintelligible grumbles rippling through the crowd. Jungkook apparently took this as an okay, because he was suddenly turning toward you. “Alright, you go first.” 

You scoffed. “I’m not apologizing first. It wasn’t even my idea. Besides I already apologized to everyone earlier.”

“It wasn’t an apology to me though.” 

“I don’t think I owe you an apology.” You shrugged. “I apologized for my friends fucking with your house. What else do I need to apologize for?” 

He just looked at you, with those eyes that were unreadable. Though you could see a slight shift, as though there truly was something that he wanted you to apologize for from back then, but he could tell that you weren’t going to back down, so he went for something that cut deep as punishment. 

He huffed in annoyance. “Fine, if you wanna be like that. I’m sorry that I broke up with you, Y/N.”

Your entire body flared with anger that had a pool of sweat instantly swelling at your hairline. You stepped closer to him, only a foot of space between you, but he didn’t back down and you weren’t going to either. “And I’m sorry I wasted three years of my life with a lying, cheating piece of shit!” 

His eyes went wide. The word that never failed to strike a nerve whenever this argument was brought back under the light. His response was quiet but firm, everyone, all forty-two members watching in silence. “I never cheated on you, but if you want to think that just so I can be the bad guy in your head, fine.” 

His final word felt like a sharp cut across your chest, but you stood firm, not backing down. You didn’t break eye contact with him as you voiced your final sentiment to the two groups of warring Greeks. “I don’t care whose side you guys fall on when it comes to this overblown drama between me and Jungkook. The fighting, the pranks, all of it, it’s over.” 

“Agreed.” Jungkook bit out before turning and walking towards the Lambda house, a silent command for his Brothers to do the same. 

You didn’t stand there for a single second longer and began walking toward your own house, your fellow Sisters following. Your best friends, Sana and Jennie, instantly threw their arms around your shoulders. “Vodka?” The universal distraction from all things awful in life. 

You shook your head. “Tequila.” The universal eraser to all things awful in life. “Lots of tequila.”

 ——-

“He’s lucky that we’re in a truce now or I would’ve thought up something diabolical for his arrogant ass,” Jennie said as she dusted some blush on her cheeks. 

“I know right, ugh!” Sana made a disgusted sound as she handed you the necklace she was letting you borrow for the night. “Telling you to apologize first. Like fuck you. You haven’t even done anything.”

You simply sighed, jumping to get your jeans past your thighs. “It’s fine guys. As long as no more issues pop up we can just ignore them and act like none of this ever happened.” 

“I know, I know, but it just pisses me off that they always bring your name into the argument. Like you didn’t tell us to go and mess with them. We did it ourselves, and sure, looking back on it now we shouldn’t have done it — even though they were some nice fucking flowers — but regardless, they pushed it to another level.” Sana let out a final huff as she hopefully released the last of her ranting for the night. 

“The point of the tequila,” You said as you filled three shot glasses, several wedges of lime waiting beside them, “Is to forget the problems. Not continue thinking about them.” 

Sana snapped her fingers and pointed at you with a smile as she picked up her shot. “You know what, you’re right. Fuck the Lambdas. They no longer exist. In my head we live next to a vacant patch of grass.” 

“Exactly.” Jennie picked up her glass, leaving the final one for you. “Cheers to no longer having to deal with the house that must not be named.”

The three of you let out a little cheer before clinking your glasses together and forcing your bodies through the post-shot shivers that followed. 

After the front yard meeting fiasco you knew immediately you would be going out. However, it had still been quite early, so you, Sana, and Jennie decided to indulge in several glasses of wine to bide the time before it was late enough to feel like an appropriate time to be downing shots. Tequila at six in the afternoon, even on a Friday, just didn’t feel right, so alcohol juice it had been. Though, the warm feeling that was already radiating through your legs as you walked over to the mirror to do one last once over of your outfit indicated that the so called alcohol juice had done its job as the pre-game to the actual hard liquor pre-game a little too well. 

“Okay, I’m only opting for one more round while we’re here or else we will be having a repeat of St. Patrick’s Day.” Too many green beers that day. Too many. 

“Senior year wisdom.” Jennie placed her hand over her heart. “Our freshman year brains would never.” 

“Our freshman year brains didn’t have an aversion to six different types of alcohol yet.” You laughed as you motioned to take the next round of shots. “And I would like to still be able to look at a bottle of tequila without going into a full-body sweat after tonight, so we’re pacing ourselves.” 

“Oh, Fireball. The days when I could still drink you were so simple.” Sana grabbed her face and grimaced as if Fireball was a long lost god, while you audibly gagged from the name of the cinnamon flavored whiskey alone. 

“Sana, stop. You know Y/N can’t even look at a churro anymore without looking like she’s gonna yak everywhere like a dog.” 

I faked a sniffle. “God, I miss being able to eat churros.” Cinnamon was now inedible to you thanks to your now forever connection between the delectable spice and the previously mentioned unspeakable liquor. A break up that rivaled that of yours and Jungkook’s. 

“Uber’s gonna be here in three minutes,” Jennie said as she returned to your bedside table to grab her shot glass once again. 

The three of you raised your glasses together with a clink. “Let’s fuck it up.” 

——----

The bar right next to your college, simply referred to as “Pub,” was a weird place to be on the first Friday of the new semester. It was a mix of underage freshman trying to slyly sip at their alcohol while attempting to hide the X’s marked on their hands, and of age students that felt a little too old to be at Pub, but who could argue with free drinks for girls until midnight? Definitely not you, Sana, or Jennie. 

The three of you found your temporary home at the tables on the deck right outside of the entrance, the fresh air much preferable to the stuffy atmosphere of the dance floor that you would soon find yourself on given the right song choice to send you flying through the door. 

You watched as Sana shimmied through the crowd of people to return to your table, three tiny plastic cups in hand. “You get a vodka Sprite, you get a vodka Sprite, and I get a vodka Sprite!” She yelled as she set the cups down on the table. 

You laughed. “People may call that basic, but we still get drunk and don’t have to drink Jack and fucking Coke.”

“The Devil’s combo.” Jennie sipped her drink. “You see a guy drinking that: run. He thinks he’s so fucking cool.” 

Sana raised her plastic cup. “Cheers to the truth.” 

“Cheers,” You all agreed collectively. 

“But speaking of guys who don’t drink Jack and Coke, I ran into Namjoon when I went to the bathroom a minute ago.” A blush crept across Jennie’s cheeks. 

“Are you finally gonna see if he’s interested? He’s not your TA anymore, so it’s not sketchy.” 

Jennie shrugged. “I don’t know. It’s weird. He seems so uninterested that it’s intimidating. Like I’ve imagined thirty-seven different scenarios for our first date and he’s only like ‘Hi, Jennie. Bye, Jennie.” 

You and Sana couldn’t help but laugh, however, the amusement was cut short by a decently sized group of familiar males. 

“Fuck me,” You said under your breath, which was enough for Jennie to turn around and see the pack of Lambda boys climbing the wooden steps onto the deck of the bar, Jungkook leading the way. 

“You try to forget your problems and they just walk in on two legs.” Sana groaned. “It’s rude really.” 

The group got caught in the line to get into the bar, which unfortunately left them idling uncomfortably close to your table, and of course something had to be said. 

Jimin glanced down at them sitting, a fake grin plastered to his mouth. “If it isn’t our cordial neighbors.” 

Jennie snapped her head up to look at him, mirroring his forced smile. “Cordial can also mean that we’re pretending you don’t exist. In fact, we no longer acknowledge that we even have neighbors.” 

“That’s fantastic, actually. It means I can forget that awful blowjob you gave me freshman year even happened.” 

Jennie’s jaw clenched for all of a millisecond before responding. “Awful? Say that to my untouched vagina after you came in sixty seconds. Though again, we’re pretending you don’t exist, so I guess I can forget the most underwhelming sexual experience of my life. Thanks, Jimin.” She turned back to you and Sana, not sparing a second glance as if she’d simply given someone directions to the nearest Denny’s. 

But Jimin wasn’t through. “That’s not what happened—”

You could see in your friend’s face she was already squaring up another jab, and as much as you found it entertaining you knew it was setting a bad example. 

“Jennie,” You said at the same time that Jungkook sighed “Jimin.”

You both looked at each other, a silent message of gratefulness passing between the two of you at trying to actually make this work. 

“Guys, neither of us want to get our chapters suspended. If ignoring each other is the best route, do that, or maybe even be friends. Whatever results in no fuckery between our houses, okay?” You reminded them of what was at stake here and everyone nodded, letting any planned animosity fall away as the line to get into the bar began to move. 

You tilted your head, watching as Jungkook’s back disappeared into the building, his eyes crinkling as he smiled brightly at some girl who noticed him the second he made it past the threshold. 

Again, that stupid feeling of longing for something that was clearly dead and gone. But you didn’t want to get too down, so before you could spiral too far you turned back towards your friends. “So did he really last sixty seconds?” 

“No,” Jennie smiled, “But I definitely still have the texts of him telling me the next day it was the best suck of his life. He’s the one that lied first, so I get to bend the truth too.”

“Freshman year is so weird to think about. Everyone was actually friendly. Jennie and Jimin might be dating right now if it wasn’t for our little war.” Sana laughed as she batted the napkin away that Jennie tossed at her. 

“Absolutely not. I want someone like Namjoon, who’s smart and respectful. Not Jimin, who… who…” She trailed off simply finishing her thought with a wordless grimace. 

Jennie said that, but you knew it wasn’t exactly true. You remembered very well when Jennie and Jimin were involved and she actually seemed to enjoy the Lambda’s presence quite a bit. But then things went to shit the summer after your freshman year was over, and well, this was the reality now. Snide comments at every passing instead of mutual invites to beach days. 

You were beginning to let a little slideshow of memories from that first year cloud your head when a song that already had you lifting out of your chair clamored inside the bar. “We dance till dawn!” You pulled your friends by their arms through the entrance, waving your wristbands at the bouncer before pushing your way to the middle of the dance floor. 

“Drinks!” Jennie beamed, remembering that they had finished the others outside. “I’ll be back!” She yelled over the music, pointing towards the bar. 

You and Sana gave her a thumbs up as you began to dance together, singing the lyrics so loud your throats would certainly punish you by night’s end. But you didn’t care. Today had been absolutely disastrous, ripping up old wounds that you wished would just stay permanently beneath their flimsy bandaid, so you were thankful for this music that was blaring so loud that thoughts weren’t even an option, the alcohol that was so potent you could barely remember Jungkook’s smug face from the house meeting today, and your friends that allowed you to be this happy on days this bad. 

A few songs passed and you and Sana were still dancing and getting so hyped up by every new spin that it took you a second to remember that Jennie definitely should’ve been back by now. You looked around, only to find a sight that made you let out a slight scream that was completely concealed by the music. You tapped Sana and began pointing towards the bar. She turned and immediately mirrored your excitement. 

Namjoon was leaning into Jennie at the bar, whispering something into her ear and you could see her smiling, redness once again blooming on her face. In your drunkenness you pulled out your phone and snapped severa blurry pictures, which were sure to be a great topic of discussion in the group chat tomorrow. You watched Jennie nod her head, smiling and pointing to the three drinks in her hand, and then she started back towards where you were. 

“Bitch, the drinks could’ve waited!” You tried to say over the music. “Go back and talk to him.” 

Jennie actually looked giddy as she handed over the drinks to you and Sana. “I am. He’s leaving soon though, but he asked if I wanted to grab something to eat with him at the diner down the street.” 

Sana jumped up and down in excitement. “So he basically asked you to marry him? Got it.” 

“Oh yeah, he’s totally gonna propose to me over my omelette.” She joked, flipping her hair over her shoulder. “Are you guys okay if I go?” 

“Of course, but I will be checking your location in fifteen minutes and if you are not at that diner I will hunt Namjoon’s ass down in two seconds,” You warned. “—Except if you decide you wanna skip the diner and go straight to fucking that’s cool too, just let us know.” 

Jennie threw out another giddy expression at the thought. “I’ll text you guys. Love you!” She said,  kissing her hand and throwing it out to you as she weaved back towards where Namjoon was waiting for her at the bar. 

“Fuck Disney,” You shouted to Sana. “Dreams come true at Pub too.”

She bent over, laughing as she tried to sip her drink. “Ugh, if only we could be that lucky. I’ve never had a TA even close to that hot.”

“Same, but maybe we’ll find something else tonight.” You motioned toward the back where you could see some of the soccer players hanging out. You eyed Jung Hoseok. The two of you had hooked up a few times last year, and getting laid would be a perfect ending to this bad to actually decent day. 

“Oh, I see.” Sana wiggled her brows, giving a knowing look. “Let’s go bump into them.” She grabbed your hand and began leading you through the crowd until you reached the area that the soccer players were idly standing around and sipping their drinks. You started a conversation about something random right behind Hoseok, and it was only a minute or so before he turned around and noticed the two of you. 

“Oh, look who it is.” He smiled, hugging you. “Been a while.” 

“I know your summer must’ve been so dull without me,” You flirted, sipping at your drink. 

“No question.” He leaned back against the wall, pulling you by the waist so you weren’t halfway on the dance floor and constantly being bumped into. Sana noticed the gesture and took that as her cue to let things simmer between you and Hoseok. 

“Y/N, I see Nayeon and Joy over there.” She pointed towards the other corner of the bar, where you saw the two Tri Delts mingling. “I’m gonna go over there, okay?” 

“Sounds good.” 

She leaned into your ear, whispering, “If you wanna go home with him just text me. I’ll catch a ride with them on the way back to the house.” 

“I’m ninety-five percent sure I will, but I’ll text you to make sure,” You whispered back. 

She squeezed your shoulder before pulling back. “Take care of her Jung. I’ve heard you’re very good at that.” Sana smiled like a tiny devil before running through the crowd, leaving you slightly slack-jawed. 

You bit your lip, a small warmth creeping into our face. “Please, ignore that,” You bit through an awkward laugh. 

“Why’re you embarrassed?” He smiled, shrugging before leaning next to your ear. “I mean I have taken care of you every single time we’ve been together, right?” 

His breath was hot against the side of your face, leaving you tingling. You lifted your hand, cupping his jaw as you pulled him back to look him in the face. “You can’t say things like that to me when we’re in a bar and you can’t do anything about it.” 

He smiled, eyes drifting to your mouth. “I mean we could always leave. It’s almost closing time anyways.” 

You smiled. “One more drink, after I finish this one.” 

“Perfect.” He leaned in, gave you a small peck on the lips before ruffling your hair a little and turning to say something to his friend. Presumably it was something about him getting laid tonight, which was exactly the same conversation you were about to have with your friend. 

You: the hookup is secure 

Sana: quick work. i’m proud 

Sana: joy and nayeon said that lisa is sick in the bathroom and they’re about to take her back to the house, so i was just going to catch a ride with them if you’re going with hoseok. sound good? 

You: oh really? i hope she’s okay. make sure she gets water at home. and yes i’ll be fine. we were gonna have one last drink and then go. i’ll text you when i make it to his place

Sana: sounds good. love you!

You slipped your phone back into your pocket after returning the sentiment. 

“Everything good?” Hoseok asked. 

“Yeah, one of our friends is sick so Sana was just letting me know she was gonna go home with her.” 

“Damn,” Hoseok tsked, jokingly.  “Does that mean I’m stuck with you for the night?” 

“It would seem so.” You smiled, and then he pulled you beneath his arm and adjusted the backwards cap on his head. 

“You know, I’m all for just fucking or whatever, but you’re really never gonna say yes to a date, are you?” 

You paused before answering, remembering that time last year that he’d asked about actually taking you out to dinner. You had thought about it, but in the end you just decided you had no desire to even slightly pivot in the direction of being any more than friends with benefits with someone. Though, if anyone were able to sway you away from that mindset after Jungkook, it would be Hoseok, but just not yet.

“If I let you take me to Steak n’ Shake after this, will that suffice?” You giggled at the way he rolled his eyes while still smiling. 

“I have leftovers in my fridge better than the food from there, so I’ll let you have that.” He paused, a slight glimmer filling his eyes. “Maybe I’ll light a candle, make it romantic, sort of like a date.” 

Your skin prickled slightly at the mention of the candle, a call back to one of their more… unconventional hook ups from last year.

“Is candle wax being melted onto my naked body and drunkenness really a good mix?” You asked, even though it had been one of the best feelings you had ever experienced. 

“Not that drunk, but it could always wait until the morning.” 

You tapped your finger to your lips as if you were pondering it. “Let me get my last drink and I’ll let you know my answer.” 

“I have a tab open.” He motioned towards the bar. “Just get it on mine.” 

“Thanks,” You said, even though you planned to pay for it yourself. Random guys you didn’t mind hustling a few free drinks from, but not guys you were actually sort of friends with. 

You walked up to the bartender. “Vodka Sprite,” You said over the thumping music. He nodded and then stepped to the left and made your drink. He handed it to you as you slipped him your credit card, motioning to close the tab out. 

You were already halfway done with sipping on the drink when the bartender returned a slight look of awkwardness on his face. “Uh, it declined.” 

Your brows furrowed. Your financial aid refund for school had definitely been deposited into your bank account. You knew this because you had jumped for joy when it hit and you were finally able to return to the sanctuary that is no-ads Hulu. There was enough to cover your dues for staying in the Tri Delt house this semester, so there should certainly have been enough to cover a four dollar drink. You were pondering what to do, maybe just put it on Hoseok’s tab like he said you could. It was probably just your actual bank having issues and it would sort itself out in the morning anyways. You were just about to say to put it on his tab when someone slid their muscled bicep right in front of your face with a credit card in hand. 

You knew that it was pathetic that you knew exactly who that bicep belonged to before he even turned to look at your face, black strands of hair hanging over his forehead.

“I got it,” Jungkook said to the bartender. 

“Why’d you do that?” You asked. 

“Because I was right behind you and heard him, and I know how embarrassed you get about things like that.” He shrugged, grabbing the paper and pen that the bartender slid back towards him. 

He was right. You had terrible secondhand embarrassment, let alone actual first hand embarrassment. “Well… thanks. I don’t know why it did that. I got my refund already.” 

“Just check your bank account. If the money’s in there then the bank system is probably just fucked up right now.” 

“Yeah…” You slid your phone out of your pocket and immediately went to your banking app and pressed your fingerprint down onto the login. You waited a few seconds, and when your balance appeared on the screen, you felt your heart drop. “What in the actual fuck?” You said, staring at your bank account with a whopping dollar and twenty cent in it. 

“What’s wrong?” Jungkook asked, brows furrowed as he rounded to your side to look at your screen to see the low number that was not at all what it was yesterday. “I thought you said you got your refund?” 

You were shaking your head. “I… I did. I don’t know what the hell happened. Oh my god, I’m gonna freak the fuck out. I have to pay my housing cost for Tri-Delt with that money. Like what the fuck is going on—”

You felt Jungkook’s on your back, rubbing light circles. “Just breathe.” You stiffened at the touch, but didn’t try to pull away. “It’s probably just a financial aid fuck up. Call them tomorrow. I’m sure it’ll be fine.” 

You knew that he was probably right, but a creeping feeling was telling you otherwise. This was your fourth year in college dealing with the same exact scholarships every single semester and this had never happened before. 

“Fuck.” You brought your hands up to push at either of your temples. “That really just fucked up my whole mood. I’m not even horny anymore—” You cringed, realizing what you just said. “Please, just ignore me I’m drunk.” You shook your head, squeezing your eyes shut, not wanting to see the expression he’d made at your admission. 

“What’re you doing now? Where’s Sana and Jennie?” He asked, ignoring your flub and finally lowering his hand from your back. 

“They’re not here. Jennie left earlier and I told Sana I was gonna go home with… Hoseok, but now I just wanna go lay in bed by myself so I can spiral into every negative possibility of why my bank account looks like that.” 

“It’s gonna be fine.” This time he placed his hand on the back of your neck, cupping it slightly. It was a motion that had always for some reason calmed you down when things got overwhelming. It seemed he remembered. But even though you appreciated the comfort, the feeling of his hand there made something in your stomach flutter — that stupid feeling of longing seriously needed it’s wings shredded. You gripped his forearm, pulling it away from you, and you saw something shift in his eyes as you did so. 

“I guess I’m gonna go tell Hoseok that I’m just gonna go home—” But then you suddenly remembered something. “Fuck! I can’t Uber because I don’t have any money on my card.” You pinched the bridge of your nose. “This day was so bad and then actually pretty good, only to turn out fucking awful.” 

There was a couple of seconds of silence between the two of you, but you kept your eyes closed, trying to clear the fog in your head from all the alcohol to figure out what you were going to do. However, Jungkook finally let out a sigh before speaking. “Come on.”

“What?” You asked.

“All of these people are trying to get out of here at once and they’re ordering Uber’s at the same time.” He flashed his phone screen, showing that it was not only almost closing time, but that the next driver wouldn’t be available for thirty-two minutes with everyone having already ordered their rides. “It’s a twenty minute walk back to your house. I’ll just walk you there.” 

Even though Jungkook was currently the president of the Lambdas, he actually decided not to live in the frat house this year and instead opted for a cheaper apartment that was still near campus. You and Jungkook both relied on scholarships to pay for most of your schooling,  and fraternity and sorority dues on their own were not cheap, and living on Greek Drive only made that burden a million times worse. 

But the point was that Jungkook had no need to go to campus because he lived in a completely different direction now.

“You don’t even live there anymore. How’re you gonna get home?” You asked. 

“I’ll just sleep on the couch and get Tae or Jimin to drive me to my place in the morning.” He shrugged. 

You weren’t exactly keen on the idea of having to walk all the way back to campus with Jungkook,  considering just a five minute car ride earlier in the day had been sufficiently awkward all on its own. But you also were unfortunately no longer in the mood for sex, leaving Hoseok’s house out of the picture, and your bank account was for some reason drained, which resulted in you only having one option really. 

“Alright,” You finally said. “Just let me tell Hoseok and then we can go.” 

He nodded as you walked back towards the group of soccer players, tapping Hoseok on the shoulder. It seemed your dismay was painted plainly on your face because he immediately asked what was wrong. 

“I actually can’t hang out tonight. I just found out my bank account is fucked up and I can’t really think about anything else right now, so I was just gonna head home, but I wanted to let you know. I’m sorry.” 

“No, you’re fine,” He said, shaking his head. “Do you have a way home then?” 

You glanced towards Jungkook, releasing a heavy sigh. “Uhm, yeah, Jungkook was gonna walk me.” 

Hoseok’s eyes darted toward where you pointing, narrowing slightly. Most people knew about the feud between the Lambdas and the Tri Delts, which meant most people also knew the details about why there was a feud in the first place. 

“Are you sure you’re good with that?” Hoseok asked. 

Not really, but a twenty minute walk wasn’t going to kill you. “We’re fine, promise. Actually we’ve been… cordial lately.” You tried to say it like it was actually the truth, but you thought maybe if you spoke it into existence then it would actually come to fruition. 

Hoseok tilted his head, giving you a look that said he didn’t really believe you, but regardless he pulled you in for a hug. “Okay, let me know when you get home.” 

“I will,” You assured him before waving goodbye and making your way back towards Jungkook. 

“Ready,” He huffed, a slight annoyance seeming to coat his words as he pushed himself off of the wall and started towards the entrance. 

“Are you really gonna have an attitude?” You asked as you did a little jog to catch up with him. “I would’ve found another way if I knew you were gonna act like an ass.” 

“I’m not trying to be a dick. I’m just tired.” He placed his hand on one of your shoulders, moving you in front of him so the two of you could move through the mass of people more quickly until you were walking through the entrance and down the wooden ramp that connected to the outside deck. 

“Then why’d you offer? I could’ve called someone to pick me up.” 

“Because,” He paused, motioning towards the crosswalk that already had dozens of drunk college kids filing through it. “I couldn’t just leave you there, and I thought just taking you home would be quicker than you calling people to try and find a ride.” 

Ouch. He was just trying to be nice and you were calling him an ass. Heat flushed beneath your skin from embarrassment. “I’m sorry…” You finally said as you made it to the sidewalk and began the straight shot down the main road towards Greek Drive. “Thank you for making sure I got home alright.” You added, avoiding any eye contact and opting to walk a little bit in front of him. 

After about five entire minutes of silence you thought to yourself, yeah, this was going pretty much as expected. But you were thankful that at least there wasn’t any hostility. You didn’t want any more arguments like the ones from today.  You had seethed at each other after the two of you left President Kwon’s office. Had thrown insults at one another at the meeting between your houses. Like sure, maybe the silence hurt more than it should’ve. The idea that the guy you started dating and fell in love with when you were a junior in high school not even being able to fake a conversation with you for twenty minutes was mildly heartbreaking to say the least. But again, the silence was better than the anger that had fueled most of your interactions since breaking up the summer after starting college. 

You had become somewhat content with the lack of speaking. You were still a few steps ahead of Jungkook as he walked behind you, but he suddenly picked up speed and joined you, shoulder skating against yours before he was curving his hand around your waist and nudging you to go to the side of the sidewalk that wasn’t closest to the main road that was currently buzzing with post-bar traffic. 

“Wouldn’t want you falling face first into a Camero that someone’s Daddy bought them, Drunkie,” He said, offering a playful smile as he dropped his arm back down to his side. 

You were caught so off guard by the positive expression from Jungkook that it took you a second for your head to actually realize what he had even said. You pushed his shoulder. “I’m not even drunk anymore.”

“Well, considering I can literally smell the tequila on you, I’d rather not take any chances of you falling into oncoming traffic.” 

“You’re being nice.” You narrowed your eyes at him. “Too nice.” 

“What?” He chuckled. “I’m just making an effort to try and fix things between us so that the members don’t see us constantly fighting and think it’s okay to do the same.” 

Ah, that’s what it was. He didn’t care if you guys actually patched this up, just that it looked like you did. 

“Well, we could always pretend to like each other, since the appearance is all that actually matters apparently.” You forced a smile and began walking a little bit faster. Ten more minutes. Ten more minutes of being alone with him and his stupid presence that overwhelmed you with thoughts that you wished would just disappear. 

“That’s not what I meant,” He said almost immediately, not letting that unbearable plunge into silence return. “I would love it if we could be nice to each other and actually mean it… I just…” He trailed off, seeming to hesitate in whatever he was trying to say. 

“Just spit it out.” 

There was one more second of a brief pause before he spoke quietly. “I just don’t think that’s ever going to happen, because I know you still blame me for everything.” 

You tensed up, still keeping your pace of being slightly ahead of him. You inhaled a deep breath through your mouth before turning to look over your shoulder at him, his eyes already waiting to meet yours. 

“I don’t blame you.” You smiled, but with a sad furrowing of your brows. “I… resent you.” 

Jungkook’s mouth fell open, his eyes widening in surprise. “I mean, that’s… that’s even worse than blaming me.”

You shook your head. “No, it’s not.” 

His expression turned more puzzled. “How is you resenting me better than you blaming me?” 

“Because, blame implies that I think it’s your fault… Resentment just means I’m angry and upset, regardless of whether I think you were right or wrong for what happened.” You felt the bridge of your nose begin to tingle with that telltale sign of tears, so you quickly looked forward and urged them to stay hidden until you were at least in the comfort of your own room. “I’m just resentful of the things I now think and feel about myself, but that isn’t your fault. It’s my issue to deal with.” You shrugged. 

“What things do you think and feel about yourself?” He asked, and you could tell that he had hurried his pace and was a little closer behind you now. 

You closed your eyes, shaking your head. You didn’t want to talk about this. The two of you hadn’t had an in depth conversation like this since you’d first broken up. But things were different now compared to that first conversation. Back then it was raw and fresh, the pain too intense to notice what was growing underneath. Now it was a scar, and you were left with all of the emotions, feelings, and implications of how and why things ended. 

“I… I don’t really wanna talk about it honestly.” You said that, but you also wanted Jungkook to understand that you were perfectly aware of how you had acted the past few years. You may have said and acted in ways that seemed bitchy and ridiculous, but it was because of these disgusting emotions that were now plaguing your mind constantly, and maybe it was time he knew. “I kind of wish we had broken up over this giant fight that was about something unfixable. Something where we both clearly did things wrong and we were both through with each other because there was no way either of us were going to change our minds. I think I could’ve dealt with that so much better than what you actually broke up with me for. Which was just the fact that you thought I was...” You trailed off, the word that bombarded your thoughts mercilessly landing on your tongue. “Boring.”

You heard the way his shoes scratched against the concrete at his screeching halt, and he clearly thought that that was going to stop you as well, but you kept going, not actually wanting to hear any response from him. You said your piece and now maybe he would understand. But of course you knew that he wasn’t just going to let it end like that, which was made apparent when you felt him suddenly gripping your arm, trying to get you to slow down for a second. 

“I never said or even thought that about you, Y/N, ever.” He tried to pull you to look at him, but you twisted your body and threw a hand over your face to cover your eyes that were already glistening. 

“No, stop,” You said firmly, and he ceased with trying to get you to look at him. “I told myself after that night in my room I was never going to let you see me cry over you ever again, and if I look at you right now, I will. I just know I will, so please just stop.” 

He didn’t say anything for a minute, leaving just the sound of grasshoppers and the random gust of cars passing by. You thought maybe he would just let it go and you could continue the last few minutes of the walk without speaking, but you had verbalized your thoughts and Jungkook was without a doubt going to respond. 

“I know how it’s easy to think that,” He started, his voice a whisper with his hand still wrapped around your arm, as if he was afraid you would bolt down the street without letting him finish if he let you go. “But that’s not why I ended things. You were the first girl I ever actually dated, and when we got here I just started thinking about—”

“—All of your new exciting options.” You cut in, anger flaring before you could stop it. 

“Y/N…” He trailed off, squeezing your arm. “That’s not what it was—”

“—No,” You said before he could try and dance his way through some explanation of how he just wanted to go crazy in college without actually saying it out loud. “You don’t have to explain it again. I’d rather you didn’t actually. I remember in excruciating detail the way you explained it that night. I understand, I get it… So, p-please,” Your voice cracked, finally being too overwhelmed by this entire situation. “Let’s just keep walking and not talk about it anymore. Please.” 

It turned so quiet I could even hear how hard Jungkook was breathing. It sounded heavy but unnatural, like he was trying to forcibly steady his heartbeat. And after a few seconds you felt him finally drop his hand from your arm and you didn’t wait for him to say a single word before you started down the sidewalk again.

The Tri Delt house was five minutes away, leading to five minutes of complete and utter silence between two people that was so palpable it blocked out the scratching of your shoes as you walked and the rustle of tiny animals running through the trees next to you. It engulfed you in this tunnel of noiselessness. 

Eventually you saw the bend at the end of the street where yours and Jungkook’s houses sat next to one another. It was only a little bit away, yet it felt so far. Twenty minutes. All it had taken was twenty minutes of the two of you not partaking in your back and forth hostility from the last few years for you to break down again. It felt pathetic. It was completely pathetic. 

You were finally approaching the point where the Tri Delt and Lambda house split into opposite directions. All you had to do was keep walking straight while Jungkook veered to the left and— 

You felt the light tug at the belt loop of your jeans, stopping you in place, just like from earlier today after the suspension meeting. You were about to tell him to let you go, when he beat you to the punch. 

“You’re not boring, Y/N. You never have been.” He was so close you could feel his breath hitting the back of your head. “It was one of the millions of reasons that I loved you. I just wanted you to know that.” 

And then he was gone. The pressure of someone tugging you in place disappearing, leaving you to catch your balance as you finally stood alone. You forced yourself to stare straight ahead as you walked towards your front door, not daring to look at him as he walked to the Lambda house. You shoved your keys inside the lock, forcing it open and then taking the stairs by two’s until you were collapsing in your bed, fingers crushing your pillow as you finally let yourself cry. 

——--

A phone was ringing inside of your dreams. It was ringing and ringing and ringing until you realized the sound was coming from some otherworldly place — oh yeah, that would be the current hell that is your life. 

You blinked a couple of times, blindly reaching for the source of the noise that was lost somewhere in your bed. You finally felt your hand slide across the leather of your phone case. You brought it up to read the name and you felt your stomach curl. 

‘Jungkook the Jackass’ was calling. And if it weren’t for the fact that he was calling you at seven in the morning you probably would’ve just sent him straight to voice mail in order to avoid any further conversations about what transpired last night. But alas, it was seven in the morning and just seemed to be too early of a time for him to be calling about something mundane. 

You regretfully lifted the phone to your ear. “Yes?” You grumbled, voice scratchy. 

“We have a problem.” No mention of last night. It was just a clear cut declaration that did not sound good. 

“What’s wrong?” You asked, sitting up from bed. 

“Come outside your house. Now.” 

Your eyes widened and you instantly jumped from bed. He sounded urgent enough that you decided your flimsy nighttime apparel was going to have to do. You hurried down the stairs and opened the front door, revealing Jungkook in the front yard staring at something. 

“What is it?” You asked, arms crossing over your chest as you tried to hide your bralessness. 

Jungkook pressed his lips together as he pointed towards the front of the Tri Delt house. “My idiot Lambda Brothers.” 

You followed the direction of his finger, your mouth dropping at the sight before you. 

Dozens and dozens and dozens of boxers covering every inch of the first story of the house. You turned towards Jungkook, so angry and anxiety-riddled that someone from administration had already seen this, that you could hardly speak. 

“I’m going to murder them,” You finally managed to spit through clenched teeth. 

“No,” He started, turning to you, mirroring your own frustration. “I’m going to murder them.” 

→ part 02

[beyondspaceandstars]

While You Sleep

Chapter 18

Relationship: Bucky Barnes x Reader Warnings: angst Summary: Soulmate!AU - Throughout life, you’re given glimpses of your soulmate through dreams. As you sleep, memories flash in your mind showing you the life your soulmate has lived. Everyone around you raves about how their soulmate reads great books or volunteers in their spare time. But you can’t relate as your dreams end up being more like nightmares. Through initial images of death and violence, you come to learn your soulmate is the Winter Soldier.

A/N: so sorry I’ve been slow with updating Tumblr - my blog was shadowbanned (basically Tumblr hid my blog in searches, notifications, tags, etc.) and it just got fixed so I’m working to update here!

Masterlist | Series Masterlist

“You’re back,” Dr. G smiled as you plopped down in the seat across from her. 

You resisted the urge to roll your eyes and instead forced a tight smile. “I’m back,” you confirmed with a dramatic nod for emphasis. You didn’t know why you were feeling so hostile. You had shown up here willingly this time. 

Bucky didn’t even know you were seeing your therapist again. But it wasn’t exactly like he was around to find out. He had left for his mission yesterday in the very early morning and you were now on constant edge. You didn’t know what he would encounter. You knew none of it was at your clearance level seeing as you had no government clearance level to begin with but still… You didn’t like that anything that went wrong would come back to you in the depths of your sleep. Even if Bucky had shared everything step-by-step, any mishap was another blow. Even if everything went right, you feared you were bound to see something. 

“Would you like to share anything?” Your therapist asked, disrupting your spiraling thoughts. It was like she knew and, well, maybe she did. You really did kind of suck at hiding your emotions. You could practically feel your face darkening with worry. 

“Bucky and I learned something about us recently,” you said a bit nervously but Dr. G nodded in encouragement. You tried to steady your breathing and continued, “Our soulmate bond has been disrupted. It happened when he was part of Hydra — I mean, not like part of. That makes it sound like he joined willingly which he absolutely did not—,”

Your therapist said your name sharply, cutting off your words. “I know what you meant,” she said.

You nodded briefly, recomposing yourself, and began again, “While under Hydra, he was brainwashed and in that process, they thought they had rid him of his soulmate. But, turns out, all they were doing was tampering with the transmission lines. This means any sort of trauma or… or really emotional occurrences in Bucky’s life gets passed along to me, intercepting any, well, normal dreams. And there’s nothing we can do about it.”

“Nothing?”

You glanced away. “Well, I’ve asked him to retire to maybe… minimize the damage.”

Dr. G nodded as she scribbled something on her notepad. She let out an interesting hum. “How did Bucky respond to that?”

You fought back the urge to roll your eyes. You weren’t really upset with him, more angered by the situation. “It took him a second to come around to the idea and, sure, eventually he did but then he was given another mission. A mission he couldn’t turn down.”

“And how did that make you feel?”

Another feeling of annoyance flashed across you at the cliche therapist speak but you could also recognize the question for its worth. Someone was actually asking you how you felt about the new, and last, mission. Lord knows Bucky hadn’t.

You bit your lip, feeling tears already threatening to run down your cheeks. “It made me feel bad, to put it simply. I just felt horrible and scared. I know that with time it’ll go away and maybe we’ll find some peace but I’m just really hurt it has to be this way.”

More notes were scribbled. “How did Bucky react to hearing that?” Dr. G asked without looking up. You shifted awkwardly in your seat, fiddling with your fingers out of habit. Your therapist glanced up once her writing has finished. Her brows raised as you struggled to find an answer.

“He doesn’t really know.”

Your therapist placed her pen on her notepad and leaned forward in her chair, eyeing you a bit upsettingly. “Do you remember what I told you during your last session?”

Talking. Talking, talking, talking. Just let it out. How could you forget? That’s exactly what you had done and while it made some kind of progress, you were still stuck at this godforsaken dead end for the time being. 

You picked at the chair cushion. “He didn’t ask,” you sighed. “Besides, what good was it going to do? I couldn’t have stopped the mission.”

Dr. G shrugged. “No, I doubt you could’ve, but that’s not the point. The point is you’re hurting and your soulmate needs to know this, especially when it involves him. You can’t beat around the bush or try to sidestep this kind of stuff. Be gentle, yes, but little progress can be made if everything is bottled in.”

“Well, doc, I’m sorry to break it to you, but I’m sure he knows very well how I feel about all of this,” you snapped back. “Think I made myself super clear during our first conversation about retirement.”

“Fine,” she shrugged. “Assume he did. Assume Bucky knew everything that was going through your mind. Did it open any conversation?”

Your shoulders slumped. You looked away. 

Dr. G continued, “My point exactly. Of course, you don’t want to hurt him but you can’t hurt yourself in the process. How many people actually knew about the nightmares to begin with?”

“None,” you mumbled. And it was, sadly, the truth. Your coworker was the first to know. You hadn’t even had the guts to tell your parents. 

“I’m sure I make it sound easier than it really is but there are some benefits to it over time,” your therapist said after a moment. 

You let out a dramatic sigh. “You’re kind of annoying, you know that?”

Your therapist laughed. “You’ve been wanting to bite back for a while, haven’t you?” You didn’t answer. She shrugged. “Already testing out those communication skills I see.”

You let yourself roll your eyes this time.

***

It was nearing midnight when your cell phone rang. You jumped, suddenly disturbed by the ringtone as you laid on your couch watching some sitcom reruns. You frowned in confusion as you stretched to reach your phone on the coffee table. You weren’t expecting any calls.

You turned the screen around and were greeted by one name: Bucky. You just about yelped when it registered he was calling you -- and from his mission, amazingly. You sat up quickly and answered.

“Hi, Buck,” you greeted, hopefully sounding a bit more cheerful than you felt. Your therapy session from the morning still had you a bit shaken. 

“Hey, doll,” Bucky responded, his voice a bit hoarse. He sounded exhausted and...defeated. 

You sink into the couch. “Is everything going okay?” You guessed it wasn’t too weird he was reaching out while away but something was off in his voice. You thought you had already mentally prepared for the worst.

“For the most part,” he mumbled. “I have to tell you, sweetheart, it wasn’t smooth sailing. We… We all had to do some things we aren’t proud of.”

You shut your eyes, trying to reel in your panicked brain before you said something you’d regret. This couldn’t all fall on Bucky, it wasn’t fair. He had a job, one final job, and you were going to have to accept that. 

Regaining your voice, you said, “What… What things, Bucky?”

He fell silent on the other end. All you could hear was some soft breathing and others talking in the background. The rest of the team you could guess. You said his name into the receiver again.

“Just know I didn’t like what I had to do and I can’t wait to put this life behind me.”

If that was all you were getting from him, you’d have to accept it. “Okay,” you said, your voice cracking slightly. “I-I understand.” You didn’t really but you knew after tonight you definitely would.

Bucky took another pause. “You deserve so much better than this.”

“Bucky-,”

“You really do, sweetheart.”

“Bucky, please, listen,” you sighed. “While this isn’t ideal and I was very upset you just jumped on this assignment without speaking to me, I know it won’t be like this forever, right? 

“I’m sorry I didn’t talk to you about the assignment before leaving,” Bucky responded. “I-I knew I couldn’t do anything about it but that’s still not fair to you. You deserve to be heard.”

“It’s okay, honey,” you said, fighting back some tears getting ready to start again. “You’re almost done, you’re almost back home.”

Bucky hummed. “I am,” he confirmed. “And when I get back I’m going to make up for all of this, I promise.”

You let out a weak laugh through the tears. “You can make it up to me by getting home safely.”

Bucky was about to say something else but was then cut off by someone yelling at him in the background. He gave a curt response before turning his attention back to you. “Sorry, doll, but I have to go. We have some debriefing to do.”

“Of course,” you said, waving a hand in the air like he could see you. “I’ll see you soon, alright?”

“See you soon, sweetheart,” he said. “Love you.”

The line cut before you had the chance to say the words back. You held your phone out in front of you, staring at your lit homescreen, shocked and overwhelmed. He loved you. And he had said it.

***

You were dreading getting ready to go to sleep but, at the same time, your body was practically begging for it. You were finally getting back into the swing of working and now with therapy sessions on top, you couldn’t believe how exhausting life was. As if you had forgotten at some point. 

But with that craved moment of relaxation, an unnerving threat lurked. 

You practically moved with caution when it came to your nighttime routine now. You washed your face carefully and precisely. You scrubbed every tooth again and again for a good minute. Even combing out your hair seemed to be tedious. 

It was all sad attempts at procrastination and you knew it but what could you do? It wasn’t like you were jumping into bed happily no matter how much your body screamed. 

When there was no more to do in your routine, you had to accept it. You had to finally lay down in your bed, let your head hit the pillow, curl up under the duvet, and welcome whatever kind of sleep was going to greet you. 

Almost immediately, you were hit with everything.

As always, you’re seeing it in glimpses from Bucky’s eyes, from his mind. In this instance, he appears to be located in some kind of warehouse. It almost reminded you of where you had been taken to but abandoned.

At first, Bucky seems pretty calm and collected. He’s assessing his surroundings and mapping out a plan. He says something to the person next to them. You can’t see them and possibly you don’t want to. 

They agree with whatever Bucky has suggested but before their plan can commence, they’re both attacked. Guns blazing, doors busting, a whole goddamn ambush. You’re panicking, you feel Bucky panicking. But it doesn’t last long for him. No, within seconds he’s in destruction mode, stomping towards the pop-up army - you don’t even know what they’re part of - dodging bullets and taking them down one by one. 

Some others are helping out it seems but you’re only allowed to be consumed with Bucky’s take on the situation. Despite how much you don’t want to be, especially when he… You see the glint of his metal arm rush past. They’re dying. Being killed. These soldiers or whatever are dropping left and right around him. You feel Bucky’s pulsing anger. He has no plans of slowing down. You feel the tension in his arm as he strangles another and another and another. At one point, he even throws some across the room.

They’re finished. No more men pour in. The rest of the team has stopped. They’re all looking at Bucky, wide-eyed and nervous. You feel his fury turn to shame. You didn’t know the mission’s expectations but you could guess they didn’t exactly involve this much death. No one says anything as they move on. 

The images fade but the feelings don’t. You suddenly want to cry in your sleep feeling Bucky’s distraught and embarrassment. 

Unable to deal with it anymore, you force yourself awake, everything vanishing as your eyes open. You look around your dark room. The clock beside your bed reads just past three a.m. 

You curl back into your blanket and face the wall. You stare at it for the rest of the night, heart pounding and hands shaking.

[liquid-luck-00]

Safety Net 2

Part 2

Day 9: Teen Titans @maribatmarch-2k21

Ao3 *** Part 1 *** Here *** Part 3 *** Part 4 *** Part 5

This is based on Teen Titans Judas Contract

~~~~~~~~~~

Marinette became a fully fledged Talon when she turned 18. Six years with the court before they turned her, as to not arouse suspicion with a child. She doesn't remember the events that led to her leaving but she did. She supposes it is the fact she is a Talon that repressed her memories but that doesn't matter the court and all the other Talons are dead. She kept a single vial of the only poison that could end her life. She left not looking back.

She actually didn't get far when she first saw him. His swords danced, connecting to his target, death etched on his blade edge. Then he vanished.

She would see him again and again as she moved from city to city, state to state, even from country to country. One night as she watched the London sky, from her perch in Big Ben, did he come to her.

"Who are you?" His mask deepened his voice, made it colder and more robotic. She turned to look at him, not saying a word, and then turned back to the city.

He apparently didn't appreciate her silence as he stalked closer to her. "Who are you?" he growled the question, the sword tip pressing into her neck, but she didn’t move.

"Talon." was choked out. The voice was gruff and scratchy from being unused. That single word seemed to answer a few of his questions.

"The Court?"

"Gone"

"Orders?"

Now she simply shook her head. The sword was removed from her neck and was placed back in its sheath.

"How would you like to have your own agency again?" His voice was still gruff and cold. It held authority but it was human. She turned to see he had removed his mask. His hair was stark white, small scars littered his face, his eyes were cold and calculating, yet they didn't lie.

Her mouth opened slightly before she closed it. A deep buried resolve began to surface as she nodded in answer.

She followed Slade Wilson out of the bell tower.

---

She was then embedded into the League of Assassins. This was where they needed patience.

She didn't speak, they thought her mute, she played along. Yes she could withstand life threatening hits, but she didn't let them happen. She would strike faster, hit harder, she made herself stronger, so they called her ruthless. She didn't oppose.

Above all she was patient.

The day the coup was to happen she was guarding the Lazarus Pit.

Silently she killed the guard stationed with her and walked into the pit. The water was both cold and scalding. A fog began to enter her mind but she pushed against it. This was no time to be confused or dazed. She felt the chains and commands programed into her by the court, so she pushed against them too until they broke. She breached the surface of the pit. Shakily she stood, breathing heavily, she began to dress, quickly noticing her skin became more pink and her mind was clear. She had to leave this room as, the alarms rang signaling the coup, she ran out, fully dressed and hidden.

She took her position in the cockpit of a helicopter and soon only she and Slade were alone in the air. The others scattered in order to build up a base of operations. An hour later they landed in a small air field where a jet was waiting for them. They transferred their things and took to the skies again.

"How do you feel?" Slade asked her not long after putting the plane on auto pilot.

"Light," her voice was clearer, still raspy, but there was inflection and life traced through the word.

"Anger, fury, bloodlust?" He pressed.

"None." she shook her head.

"Interesting," he murmured.

"How bad?" she pointed to his wrapped head and covered eye.

"We'll find out once we talk with the Doc," a scowl appeared on his face. "so what's your name, because it isn't Talon"

"Um..." she thought hard and long. she had been called Talon for so long, but what did they call her before, "Grayson. They called me Grayson before they called me Talon."

---

Slade became her mentor of sorts, they would spar and train to learn their new bodies and limitations. In fact it was easy for them both. She became known as Phoenix. Her uniform was similar to her Talon one, but while Talon was gold Phoenix was a deep crimson. The helmet was replaced by a hood and a half mask that extended from her hair line to her nose. She took to being a mercenary rather fast, but all things considered it wasn't that far of a stretch.

The only thing that troubled her, were her nightmares, or were they dreams. But they didn't feel like something her subconscious had created. They felt like memories begging to be remembered. She would fly through the air as if on gilded wings. A pair of inviting and smiling-azure eyes of a little boy. A warm smile and reassuring embrace of the same boy would appear constantly. Then the fall, she never hit the ground, but she continued to fall. The cold and dark embraced her smothering her until she woke up.

---

She never stayed in one place long but sooner or later she would always pay Deathstroke a visit. It isn't that she is attached to the Mercenary. Sure she is grateful to him but it's like if she stays close she will find a missing piece of her puzzle. On one of these trips back she met her. A teen with blonde hair and blue eyes, Terra. She was met with a less than warm welcome but oh well.

"What's up old man!" she joked. Slade glared at her and nodded in greeting.

"We have a job."

"What is it?" she sat on the couch.

"Infiltrating the Teen Titans."

"That's what the kid's for," she hummed. "What can she do?"

"Meta. Geokinesis."

"Disassemble the little league before the big one." A calculated smile spread across her lips.

"I knew I kept you around for something." was his answer. To anyone else it would have seemed hostile, but she simply rolled her eyes at the remark.

"Any old memories come back?"

"Nah-uh." She lied, keeping the kind blue-eyed boy a secret, they both went to work.

It was idiotic how easily Terra integrated into the Titans. Slade helped her enhance her power, while Grayson was supposed to help her gain refined control but the younger girl wouldn't listen to her. Grayson couldn't do anything about that, she could support Terra and help her but that didn’t mean the teen accepted. She wasn't her mother or even her sister.

"... Not without my twin sister." A boy's voice echoed in her mind, she tried to shake the voice from her head, but it stayed.

Twin? Sister? I have a brother? I have a twin brother?

Unfortunately all these questions swam in her mind for months as Terra infiltrated the Titans.

Everything was going relatively well until Robin decided to stick his nose in. Unfortunately this was when she learned the truth to the infiltration. They were going to use the Titans and extract their powers and life force. It made her sick. Sure she didn't exactly see eye to eye with heroes, but she saw the good they did. Hell she may be called a mercenary, but the jobs she took aligned with her morals. Even if those said morals were just a 'fuck you opposite of the court,' but it stood, it was hers.

This was how she was found by Nightwing.

"Figured you wouldn't be easy to kill. Here." she pushed a robe into his hands. "Your team is held this way" she started to walk but he hadn't moved.

"What are you doing?"

"Look you can trust me or not, but those are just kids. I will not be the one to let them give their lives without consent or reason."

"Sounds like your speaking from experience."

"So what if I am."

Nightwing jumped down and the fight began. She went and unlocked the restraints on the Titans and jumped into the fight. She, Robin, and Nightwing were all fighting against Deathstroke when Terra regained consciousness. Both Robin and Nightwing stopped their onslaught but Phoenix knew how Terra fought, she knew how to work with the girl. Unfortunately she was thrown over towards Nightwing and Robin, a quadruple somersault led into a rollout allowed her to land safely from the throw.

"Terra!" she yelled.

"Stay out of it Grayson, Slade is mine." A desperate yell escaped the girl, as she unleashed her power. One of the Titans tried to help, but Terra moved him towards the others.

"I'm sorry." Grayson whispered, before she pulled the heroes to safety. They got out moments before the entire thing collapsed.

"Who are you?" A katana was pointed at her neck.

"More importantly the somersault and the name, Grayson, how would you know those?" Nightwing questioned.

"The name is a memory from before," she responded. "And the somersault is just in grained in muscle memory by now." She shrugged and turned to leave but was stopped. "Look I don't want to fight and I don't want to stay so..." None of the heroes said a word but circled around her. 'Sigh' "I'm not gonna get out without a fight huh?"

"That would be correct."

"Fine." Her hands went up in a placating motion, before reaching into a pocket.

"Stop that."

"Relax little birdie." she pulled out a small ring of keys, tossing them to Nightwing. "Don't know about you but I prefer to not walk over two hours to get to Jump city."

They all got to the car but as it only fit five and there were seven of them something had to give. Well she was sat in the middle back seat between Raven and Robin, Beast Boy turned into a cat and sat on her lap. Nightwing was behind the wheel, Blue Beetle on the passenger side, while Starfire flew above them all. Between the awkward silence and closed space she was lulled into a restless sleep.

Next

~~~~~~~~~~

Permanent Taglist: @itsmeevie01 @adrestar @miraculouspenta @vixen-uchiha

Taglist: @alysrose-starchild

[showrunnerihardlyknowher]

Idk about you but that trope where a giant gets angry and accidentally scares a tiny and feels bad abt it afterwards makes me go absolutely feral,,

So, originally, I was planning for this scene to be in a future chapter of This Is Nothing Like The Disney Star Wars Trilogy, but I could never really think of a full story arc around it, even though I still really really really love this idea. In any case, if I happen to brainstorm a better plot and find a way to squeeze this in I might edit it into the main story, otherwise enjoy some classic Giant Catboi and Twink Solider fearplay >:3c

--

“Do you have any idea how dangerous that was!?”

As expected, the little one did not respond to his rhetorical question, though his tone certainly helped snap it out of its previous stupor as it released its death grip on his shirt in favor of squirming as soon as the bedroom door slid shut behind him. His aggravation at the situation was clear as day even without the usual language and cultural barrier that impeded any sort of deeper relationship Edix tried to form with the human. Red ears were still folded back against his curls and his shoulders tense, the stiff posture traveling down to his hands were they gripped the earthling to his chest perhaps just a touch more tightly than usual, not that it prevented it from trying to push and wriggle itself out of his overprotective hold.

Fuck no, he wasn’t ready to let it go yet, not when flecks of blood were still smeared against his knuckles as a result of an impromptu rescue mission. The satisfying snap of cartilage under his fist after one good sucker punch to Talan’s smug face still echoed in his mind, blood gushing from the surely broken nose while the biologist stumbled backwards into the shelves. Edix wondered if he would be reprimanded for that by the directors later, or if Talan would be too proud to report the ass kicking, maybe even taking the lesson to heart to not fuck with his things in the future. And yes, that included trying to vivisect his sweet little pet.

How was I supposed to know the stray belonged to you? He had asked with sarcastic innocence, as if the human in question hadn’t been seen with Edix a thousand times before, and wasn’t drenched in his scent, and didn’t have his ID code printed on the back of its little suit, Maybe if you weren’t such a wuss and actually put it on a shorter leash-

Asshole. He was lucky Edix’s only goal at the moment was to get the little one off the table and back to the appropriate sector rather than rip Talan to shreds with his own tools. A taste of his own medicine, perhaps. Still, he admittedly did have a point about the human, what with how much it would run off and get lost and damn near killed. He simply couldn’t figure out what was so terrible about staying in his company that the little one would risk injury and mutilation in a foreign environment as opposed to the safety and comfort he so desperately tried to provide for it. They might have had a bit of a rocky start, sure, but stars above that was far in the past now. There’s nothing either of them can do to change the facts so why not accept things as they are and make some type of effort to be happy in this new life? By all accounts, Edix was a great owner!

And yet, the little one still fought him every step of the way. Even now, having just saved it from a fate of having its tiny organs sliced while it was wide awake, it made it known it did not want to be near him anymore. It might have been clinging to him the entire walk back to the bedroom, but it must have remembered it was supposed to be oblivious to the notion of genuine love and safety because now it started to stutter out little squeaks on top of struggling. Normally, Edix adored any and all of the sounds it made, especially when it was directly trying to talk to him which only served to give him the mental image of a pup mindlessly babbling before they managed their first few words. This time, however, it only worsened his irritation.

“Stop.” He ordered, which the human somewhat complied with, though it probably had more to do with his harsher tone and the fact that he was already lowering his hand towards the bed to set it down. As soon as it was free of his hold, it scrambled back, looking at him with those wide brown eyes that were full of so much fear it made him sick. Why did it have to be so afraid of him? What could he have possibly done that even now, almost a cycle later, it was still overtly wary of his intentions. All he ever did was care for it. Feed it, pet it, cuddle it, protect it, and still nothing was good enough!

With a tired sigh, he rubbed his hand down his face and resisted the urge to tug at his hair. “I just don’t understand,” he pleaded, begging some cosmic being out there to suddenly grant the little one the power to understand what he was saying, “what can I possibly do to prove to you that I’m not going to hurt you? I’m trying to keep you alive and it’s like...I don’t know, you resent me for that or something!”

The sweet thing looked more confused at his words than anything, but he could tell his body language and voice were making it uneasy. The human was used to soft words and purrs and slow movements, rarely any agitation in his being. After a beat of silence marked by an intense stare down, Edix gave up on hoping the earthling would miraculously explain itself and open up to sharing its thoughts on the matter. He reached for it and it instinctively back up, flinching when a growl rumbled in his throat in response.

“Stop running,” it was a fruitless endeavor, but like hell if he wouldn’t stop trying. That was how new pups learned how to understand a language anyways, wasn’t it? To repeat certain words over and over until they got the idea? Maybe that’s all he needed to do here, maybe by now it already knew the Venandi words for no, stop, be good, and so on. He reached for it again and it did the same thing as last time, always sure to stay just out of the most convenient reach. Not that it mattered how much it inched away seeing how it was trapped on the bed with Edix directly in front of it, but it was the principal of the matter.

And it was then that something inside him snapped. Something primal as a result of dealing with an unruly pup far too long for his nerves to handle at this moment. He wasn’t even aware of his actions, belatedly realizing how he pounced on the bed in a flash, the human scrambling to get away but only having enough time to turn around before being roughly pinned on its stomach against the mattress. His teeth were bared and pressed tightly against its back, fangs scraping against the layers of its clothes to no doubt bruise the tender flesh underneath, though thankfully they didn’t break the skin. A loud growl reverberated though its entire body, shaking it to its core.

“Enough.” He hissed against its back, keeping his teeth pressed into its skinny frame for a moment longer before pulling away. The second he did, his glare softened, all the anger he felt gone in an instant as soon as he saw the sight underneath him.

The poor thing was absolutely petrified.

It was probably the worst it’s ever been scared, arguably. Not even the first time they met, when it had so gracefully tumbled down that hill and landed face first in front of him, compared to the level of fear that radiated off it. A split-second thought had Edix wondering if he had legitimately scared it to death. Soon enough, though, he was able to pick up the minute tremors that shook through it, almost like an aftershock of the warning that it felt more than heard. It was pale, baby face devoid of color not unlike that time before when it had been sick with fever. But its eyes...those sweet little doe eyes he loved so much were wide and wet with a sheen of tears that refused to fall, locked in a blank stare straight ahead towards the wall and refusing to look at him.

A small, choked hiccup made its body twitch every couple of breaths, but it refused to open its mouth to allow any of these sniffles to turn into cries. Shit, it refused to move at all, too terrified of Edix’s threat display that if it did anything he didn’t like there would be dire consequences to pay. He supposed it worked exactly as intended, in that case. It was still, it was quiet, it was technically obeying him after he just forced it to behave via alternative punishment. That didn’t change the fact that he felt absolutely, terribly, extremely awful about what he just did.

It was just a pup, as he always said, regardless of what Ylva would tell him about human adolescence and such. It didn’t know any better, it had never been raised in these situations before and needed much longer than a measly cycle to unlearn all of its prey behaviors it needed to survive on its home planet. Besides, it wasn’t that it didn’t fully know that it was perfectly safe with Edix, it was smart enough to know he was at the very least the safest option when presented with any other Venandi. Edix had been upset, and it knew he was upset, so of course it would want to avoid a potentially hostile predator before-

--before it snatched the little one in its teeth.

Fuck, fuck, he was an idiot. Maybe he wasn’t as cut out for this as he thought, not like Ylva who was the very essence of motherhood. No. Now wasn’t the time for self doubts and pity, not when the human was in such a state. Slowly, hands cupped around its shaking form, mindful to make sure his fingers were in its view so it wouldn’t be any more startled when he lifted it up, not that he was completely sure it was actually seeing anything in front of it. The little one hardly reacted to the movement, laying limp when he pressed it against his chest and moved to sit up against the headboard of the bed in a similar fashion to what he had done the first night the poor thing was on the ship.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, it’s okay,” he whispered to it, rubbing his thumb along the curve of its back just how it liked whenever it dozed, “you’re okay, we’re fine, it’s okay to cry. I’m sorry I scared you, I’m so sorry.”

Normally in these types of instances, he’d be purring and shushing the little sweetheart until he was able to get it down for a nap, but he had little confidence that any other types of chest vibrations would have its usual effect of making the human drowsy currently. When it finally started blinking again, the tears that had welled up ran freely down its cheeks, quickly biting down on its wobbling lip to prevent any sobs from escaping and get it in trouble for misbehaving. He softly clicked his tongue at it and cooed, anything to put it at ease with a softer demeanor. “I know, honey, I know. I won’t ever do that again, I promise."

Well, if nothing else, at least the little one’s apprehension of him wasn’t unfounded anymore, much to his dismay.

[halcyonstorm]

Hey! I hope you're well. I started watching AOT and realized that levihan was a ship. And after reading the manga Ive come to the conclusion that they were more than friends if not just friends. Mostly because I saw Levi act with Isabella, a friend and a sister of sorts even Farlan. But with Hange he was just different. And thats what made me feel maybe it really was something more. He was a different Levi with her. All the teasing and the overprotectiveness, the unnecessary sass and hostility sometimes, but that makes me wonder WHY? Why was he like this towards her? And when was the moment he fell for her or decided to befriend her that way that yes I will tease this person from now on. At first I thought its because of how they met maybe but their first meeting was so sweet. Hange seemed impressed by him and he even thanked her for her compliments. I didnt think their interaction would lead to something like this. So what are your thoughts because I wonder alot on this. Also can someon pls tell me why Levi looks at her that way in aot 4 when hange meets the kids with him and says if they dont understand us we'll meet them and teach them. Like. What happened? Thank you !

Hi! I am well, thanks! And thank you for leaving me an ask! I always appreciate hearing what people have to say. I’m gonna try my best to answer your question without going on any tangents lol (but I can’t promise I won’t). This is going to be long.

Mostly because I saw Levi act with Isabella, a friend and a sister of sorts even Farlan. But with Hange he was just different. And thats what made me feel maybe it really was something more.

I 100% agree with this. When I read the manga and watched the anime, I thought maybe Isabel was a love interest (AT FIRST). When I realized she would call him “aniki” (brother) and the way he acted around her (patting her head), I knew there was a different relationship between Isabel and Levi. He saw her as a little sister and was always trying to avoid his two friends from getting into trouble. That’s why he decided for all of them to join the SC after all.

But with Hange he was just different. And thats what made me feel maybe it really was something more. He was a different Levi with her. All the teasing and the overprotectiveness, the unnecessary sass and hostility sometimes, but that makes me wonder WHY? Why was he like this towards her?

I think that the reason Levi had always acted different with her than anyone else was because of their first interaction. It was not in the anime but it WAS in the manga where Hange approaches the trio saying “I was watching you at that crucial moment!” (Not to mention the chapter Hange appears for the first time is called “Hearts” and in 139 we see “...hearts” over her head). At this point, Levi, Farlan, and Isabel were ready to kill Hange since they thought she found out about their plan to kill Erwin. What actually happened was she had seen how cool they all were and wanted to pay them a compliment. Ever since that trio left the underground, Hange was the first person to show them kindness. I don’t think this is something Levi would forget or take lightly. If it were me, I’d definitely remember that moment. I know there is a post somewhere comparing how Levi looked at Hange for the first time vs how he admired the nature outside the walls for the first time. After Farlan and Isabel died, who did he have? Practically no one. It’s my own HC but I’d like to think that Hange stuck by his side. Levi and Hange both have lost so many comrades that they found solace in each other. They bonded through grief I suppose. Also, I think Levi was intrigued by Hange’s personality. Their personalities complement each other: Hange is extroverted, loud, messy; Levi is introverted, quiet, reserved, clean.

When I first saw them, I definitely felt some romantic attraction of sorts. We eventually learn he is a clean freak, yet he has no issue grabbing her hair (which probably was greasy and unclean). Also, I believe that wasn’t in the manga and Isym requested it be added? I can be wrong with that, but I think that if there was nothing planned for their relationship, he wouldn’t have requested it. From the second I saw them, they reminded me of an old married couple. The way they bickered and how Hange never felt threatened by him.

One of my favorite scenes is when Hange enters the room that Levi’s squad is in at the castle.

E: Oh, I’m not sure if I have the authority to help you.

H: Levi, what is Eren doing tomorrow?

L: Cleaning the courtyard.

H: Okay! It’s settled!

See how she doesn’t ask permission? See how Levi doesn’t retaliate? If it were anyone else, I’m sure that 1) someone wouldn't ask that and 2) Levi wouldn’t have responded that way. We have seen all throughout the anime and manga that he usually goes along with whatever she wants to do. Remember in the OVA where Levi grabs her and yells at her? She doesn’t retaliate from his tone either. She SMILES at him. Why? Because he is expressing concern for her. He is showing he cares about her (also he’s grabbing her and bringing her close again). Eventually at the end of the OVA, we see how Levi tells Hange that Erwin agreed to capture titans for experimenting.

And when was the moment he fell for her or decided to befriend her that way that yes I will tease this person from now on… Also can someon pls tell me why Levi looks at her that way in aot 4 when hange meets the kids with him and says if they dont understand us we'll meet them and teach them. Like. What happened? Thank you !

I am not sure if there was a specific moment, but I do believe it definitely developed over time. One specific moment is the one you mentioned later on in your message, “If you don’t know something, go figure it out. Isn’t that what the Survey Corps is all about?” Levi looks at Hange almost in a surprised manner. In my biased LH eyes, it shows that Hange really is a brilliant and wonderful Commander, and Levi is appreciating her and her intelligence. In reality, it is most likely because it is something similar to what Erwin would have said as Commander. In all seriousness, her statement is entirely true. I think we can all learn from and use that statement in our everyday lives. But I think that in this moment, he possibly starts to realize how much he admires the Commander. We can also see Hange taking her own advice in chapter 126? 127? Where she forms the alliance with Pieck. She is not sure how to stop the Rumbling, so she goes to figure out how she can by talking with Pieck. As it turns out, she is successful in forming the alliance.

Overall, I think that Hange and Levi complement each other perfectly. Even if you aren’t looking too deep, I think their relationship is quite obvious. I mean… why would you ask someone to live with you if you didn’t care for them or even love them? I think that this is one of the points that other shippers bring up to break up LH (how L dislikes H or vice versa). Levi didn’t reject her. If Isym wanted him to reject her, he would’ve made him say something similar to Erwin’s “Give up on your dreams and die” statement when Erwin stated his selfish dream and was willing to sacrifice all of humanity for his selfish desire. Hange told him while he was unconscious and “not listening”, and he didn’t reject her. He says “if we run and hide, what will that get us?” and “I know you aren’t able to stay out of the action” when he sees her building the cart. We also see Levi “confess” or “respond” in 132 to Hange’s statement in 126. “Dedicate your heart”?? OMG Do not get me started on that lol.

Getting back on track, the pair is almost always together in the anime. They’re together in the manga panels when they don’t have to be. They don’t even need to speak actual words to communicate. They are the sun and moon, two wings of a bird. Levi is almost always looking at Hange in the official fanarts. We know from the smartpass AU’s that Hange says “he is a good guy” and “he doesn’t say what he means.” That’s why I think they use nicknames frequently. Four-eyes could be seen as an endearing comment coming from him. Also, Levi making Hange chocolates in the Junior High manga?!?!! Oh, yeah, its definitely to shut her up.

Im sorry for the huge tangent but I hope some of this answered your question. I enjoy reading the levihan analysis’ from other blogs. Thank you for reading if you did read this far. Have a good day/afternoon/night <3

[dreamywriterinthedark]

Losing you pt III: Picking up the pieces

Pairing: Spencer x Reader

Category: angst, slight fluff.

Resume: Reader struggles to get over a traumatic experience and isolates themselves. They have an outburst, Spencer finds them in the middle of it and offers a helping hand.

Trigger warnings: death, blood, trauma, anger issues, alcohol (please let me know of something was forgotten)

A/N: I don’t know how I feel about this series. Let me know if you like it or what you would like to see. This is what would’ve happened if Linda Barnes was leader of the team. I’m guessing this is a bit of homage to Elle who deserved better. I would love to hear your feedback and whether you want a fourth part. Thanks <3

You slipped off your blind fold, your calmness was interrupted by the broad figure in front of your eyes. The hooded man slowly made his way towards you.

“Please, don’t kill me!” you screamed at the top of your lungs. He looked at you with such viciousness as if he was planning all the horrendous things he was going to do to you in his head. You rose up panting from another hostile episode slapping the light switch of the lamp on your nightstand.

You were on your bed completely exhausted yet wide awake. You could not allow yourself to sleep because every time you did you woke up in sweats due hallucinations and nightmares. You could not differentiate what was real and what was an illusion anymore. You walked to your kitchen pouring yourself a glass of water, your hands were so shaky you dropped the glass and flenched at the sound. By trying to pick up the pieces you cut your hand, the sight of blood on your hands brought you back to that night when you almost died and your boss hardly bat an eye.

Your vision was getting blurred whether it was your brain making you depersonalise or your tears clouding your view you couldn’t tell. You were uncontrollably sobbing. That’s when it hit you, you needed help. You hated yourself for it, it flet like you were a burden. However, you felt guilt creep in furthermore when you saw your phone light up with all the texts, all the calls you ignored making the team even more worried. You swiped the notification from your 13 missed calls making your phone call Spencer. You felt a rush go through your vein, a rush to abort whatever mission you were on, the rush to flight. The kind of rush that could’ve saved your life.

After two rings you hung up feeling stupid, now wondering if you woke him up for nothing. You slammed your phone on your kitchen counter. The anger levels spiking, overtaking the small amount of rational thoughts in your head. You sighed running your hands through your hair. Completely numb, more and more glass shattered on the floor. Once the energy was in too limited quantity in your body. You grabbed a bottle of wine chugging from it in your bathtub like a child trying to avoid family gatherings. You cried until you were too dehydrated to keep the tears flowing, until your eyes were swollen.

The ring of your doorbell caught your attention. Or was it another cruel hallucination ? You were going to ignore it until you heard it be rung once more. You checked who it was through the lense.

“Shit,” you swore, it was Spencer.

“Open the door, Y/n. I know you’re here.” you rolled your eyes at Spencer’s request your back pressed against the cold steel.

“I’m a mess.” you responded trying to dissuade him to come in.

“Your mess is my mess. I’m your home, remember ?”

You smiled detaching yourself from the door unlocking it. He pressed the handle letting his weight make the door shift open. You were brushing with a broom the glass pieces to the side to allow him to circulate safely in your apartment. He saw the blood on your floor, the bandage on your hand; he solved the puzzle himself. You turned to him, no words were needed, he saw the look in your eyes. He cupped the back of your head with one of his hands and wrapped his arm around your torso carefully, gently as if you were as fragile as fine china. You wrapped your arms around his waist breathing in his scent. He pulled away, both hands at the side of your head.

“I want to be that person you can tell anything to. The good and the bad.”

You looked up at him. “Barnes is considering suspending me because I did not follow his orders. Spencer, I had no choice…” he could hear your heart break in your voice.

“She’s not allowed to do this.” He informed you.

“She’s not ?” He nodded in response.

“She violated protocole in the first place by using governmental fund for a case too personal to him. He got his proof only by putting you in a position of danger when she needed it to act. Like you said you had no other choice. I’ve done it before, I was never reprimanded me.”

“Yeah cause you’re a man. If a man kills a rapist, he’s a hero but if a woman does it, she’s a cold-blooded crazy murderer. Gosh, I miss Emily.”

“Talk about double standards.” Spencer said, “You know, she misses you too, we all do.”

“I doubt it, honestly. I was so determined to get her validation it almost cost me my life. Maybe I should just let her know how I feel.”

“Yeah, you definitely should.”

“But what am I even gonna say to her ? What if she’s right ? What if I’m actually delusional or dangerous ?”

“Hey, hey, Y/n. Slow down.”

“Please talk some sense to me. It’s like I’m going out of my mind!”

“It wasn’t your fault. It was legitimate defence. I saw it, the whole team saw it and has your back.” he reassured you, his face closer to yours.

“Should I write her a-“

“No, you’re not doing anything tonight.” He interrupted you. “Just go take a shower then we can talk about it. Sounds good ?” you nodded to respond to him which he, as usual didn’t mind even after going on an endless monologue.

While you were in the shower, he cleaned up the mess your anger made. Once you were done, you sat down on your matcha green sofa watching the sunrise. “It’s already 4am ?! I’m so sorry for keeping you awake.”

“Don’t worry about it. I’m a night owl anyways so it’s nothing out of the ordinary. Did you know that falling asleep late is linked with a high IQ ?” he said making his way to you with two cups of tea.

“Then I must be a genius.” you answered half jokingly. “Oh thank you.” you took hold of the warm but not steamy cup in your hands. You remembered Spencer once telling you that the reason why so many dislike tea is because they think it tastes like dirt, it’s not supposed taste like that, see, if the water is burning hot it’s going to burn the leaves and speed the infusion process making it too concentrated. You turned to look at him, he was already looking.

“Sometimes I wonder how you can put up with me.”

“Because I love you.” He never failed to remind you how much he loves you even especially on your worst days. You explained what had been going on, he debunked and dismantled every question pending in you head, every lie your brain told you. It felt like a weight was lifted off your shoulders. For the first time in a while, you felt safe in your own home. Instead of your alarm clock, the sound of the birds were ringing in you ears. You both agreed to go talk to Barnes to solve whatever the problem was that morning. “I’m not going down without a fight, especially not when it comes to that bitch!” Spencer boldly commented to your surprise. You weren’t healed just yet but at least you got out and socialised. At least you opened up to someone you could trust.

You stepped out of the elevator one hand holding coffee, the other holding your boyfriend’s hand. Everyone walked up to you giving you a hug and greeting you. Penelope was so enthusiastic it was overwhelming.

“Long time no see,” commented Luke. “You too,” you hugged him back.

“What happened to your hand ?” asked JJ.

“I dropped a glass.” you nervously responded, you were telling the truth…at least part of it.

“Welcome back!” said Tara squeezing an embrace as well.

“Oh I don’t know about that just yet.” you said to her.

“We need to talk to Barnes first.” added Spencer.

“Whatever happens, we’re with you, Y/n” said Garcia. The others agreed, it felt good to be supported, so much you regret isolating yourself for so long.

Silence made its way into a conversation that was once filled by joy. You threw your coffee in the trash can before turning your body towards his office. Spencer, resting his hand on your back, asked “Are you ready, darling ?” You took in a deep breath sharply, nodding your head yes without taking your gaze off the door.

[like-rain-or-confetti]

Fear (Alec Volturi x Reader)

WARNING: dark themes!

Finding out the awful things Alec and his sister had done, as well as what they were capable of, deeply impacted you. That made sense since you and Alec were so close that he deemed you as his mate, despite being human. However, you didn’t know in detail what he had done to other humans, until now. Now you fully understood why the receptionists and even some guards cowered in fear at the sight of the twins. It was then that you recognised your situation. Realistically, knowing Alec, what actually stopped your fate from being the same? 

He was still just as hostile to humans, you being the closest he’d ever gotten to but even you were kept at arms length. The twins were inseparable and that was no different even if Alec had feelings for you. Feelings he didn’t always show. Alec was usually so calculating that their was rarely emotion visible. You had seen Alec angry many times and the disasters that struck as the consequences. If that had ever been turned to you. There's no guarantee you’d survive.  After hearing every little detail of his past, you felt you had every good reason to be afraid. 

However, you couldn’t hide it. Everyone noticed. You kept your distance and barely spoke a word. With each day passing, you grew more and more unease.They understood and let you do what you had to do but no one anticipated it getting worse. 

You stared at Alec from the doorway. He was sitting alone in the room, his back to you, seemingly lost in thought. That was until he looked over his shoulder to look at you. Silence ensued. Perhaps Alec was waiting for you to speak but you could only stare at him, your stomach turning with dread. Alec said nothing, meeting you gaze without blinking. You stared at one another.  “You’re not fooling me.” You said as though finally coming to a conclusion. Alec didn't respond, nor show any sign he had heard you, although he hadn’t torn his eyes from yours. 

After a moment, he slowly got up from the chair.  “You’re not fooling me.” You repeated. Alec slowly moved forward and you moved back at the same pace.  “I know you will. You’re not fooling me.” You said louder. Alec stopped, eyes calculating your every movement. Concern washed over his face.  “What’s wrong, (Y/N)?” Alec asked, his voice quivering slightly as though worried. “You’re not fooling me!” You emphasised. 

Faster than you could process, Alec had closed the gap, his fingers coiled around your wrists. You tried to pull back when you felt a cold sensation creep up your arms, leaving a numbness in its wake. That was when you realised what he was doing. “Don’t!” Within seconds, everything turned black.

You didn’t know how much time had passed before your sight returned as well as your hearing. You were on the couch, more specifically in Alec’s lap, his arms cradling you to him. Alec’s stare was intense and you couldn’t escape it, you couldn’t move.  “Why won’t you tell me what’s going on in your head?” Alec asked quietly. “You’ve been avoiding me, you have said barely two sentences in days now. Now there’s these outbursts that make no sense.” You felt Alec’s thumb lightly stroke your temple. Your eyes boring into his as he tried to pry answers out of you but he couldn’t even get a hint of what you were thinking in his arms. Whilst you didn’t dare speak a word. 

As always, that day went unresolved. Perhaps they were hoping you’d forget, or if they ignored it would go away. Alec entered your room, knocking and not waiting for your response.  “Sweet-face, we’re going to the Cullen’s territory. We have some business there that will be around two days.”  “Do i need to pack anything?” You asked quietly. “No, our masters aren’t attending, it’s us, Jane, Demetri and Felix. We’ll accommodate to your needs as you need it.” You nodded. “Alright.” This was your opportunity to get out of the castle, one you had wanted for days now. 

However, you only seemed to grow more panicked by the time you were at the Cullen’s territory. As the four guards were distracted by Edward, Bella and Renesmee, you slipped away. You had to get some space. Seeing the fear in Renesmee’s eyes as she saw the Volturi made you feel sick, not to mention how on edge the Cullen’s were. You were reminded of how brutal they are with no mercy. 

“(Y/N)?” You were brought out of your thoughts to face a worried looking Carlisle. “Are you okay?” You tried to swallow the lump in your throat before you spoke.  “He’s going to kill me.” You said gravely. “If i do something wrong he’ll hurt me or kill me...like he did to everyone else.” You barely managed out the the last part.  “Let’s take a walk-” Carlisle began but you interrupted.  “He’s not fooling me.” You said forcefully.  “Alec?” Carlisle whispered. “Has he hurt you?” You shook your head. “No but what if he does? You cant look at me and tell me he wouldn’t.”  “I-” Carlisle began “I can’t because i don’t know him.”  “He’s gonna kill me like he has all the other humans he’s encountered.” Your voice quivered.  “Alright, let’s go and take a walk.” Carlisle took a step forward before a voice made you freeze.  “(Y/N)?” Alec was beside Carlisle in seconds, seemingly unaware of your conversation. Although there was really no way to tell if he did know or not. “I was wondering where you had went.” Alec finished looking between you and Carlisle.  “(Y/N)? What’s wrong?” Alec asked expressionless. Jasper walked up behind Alec to turn to Carlisle. “Everything is fine.” 

Although Carlisle wasn’t paying attention to Jasper. He was looking at you as you stared at Alec, trembling slightly.  “(Y/N).” Carlisle quietly pleaded. He understood your fear but there was nothing to say that you had anything to worry about. To everyone else it was evident that Alec adored you, even if he didn’t show it as much as everyone else. Through the tiniest gestures, it was clear Alec cared. He was always checking to see if you were alright and in eye sight. Carlisle knew that your panic was building up in your head, he could see it and he was trying desperately to get you to come back down again.  “(Y/N)?” Alec asked again, a slight shift in his voice. Suddenly you took off running. Alec took a few steps forward. “(Y/N)!?” Alec called after you but you kept running. 

No one spoke a word about the incident even when you were heading back to Italy. Alec was acting differently. Almost as though he had recoiled in on himself, hurt and closing himself off from you. On the other hand you couldn’t take the fear anymore, it turned into something else, adrenaline almost, to push Alec and see what happened. You didn’t want to be silent about your worries anymore. If he was going to kill you, then he could hurry up and get on with it. If that isn’t what he wanted, you’d have to see for yourself what his intentions are. If he really cared then all you asked is that he showed it.

You brought out a storage box from your closet, pulling it open and rummaging through. You had old letters from Alec. You knew you still had then, you just had to find them and perhaps you’d get a clue. However, you were so determined to find them you didn’t hear footsteps coming up behind you.

“(Y/N)?” You jumped with a gasp looking up to see Alec looking down at you stoically.  “I didn’t mean to scare you. Your door was open.” You looked at your open door before looking back at him. “It’s fine. I must have just got so deep in thought i didn’t hear you.” You responded.  “What are you looking for?” Alec asked.  “The old letters you sent me before i moved here.” You said as you began to dig into the box. You were hunting for the proof that he did care. You needed it. “Why did you run away from me back in Forks?” You stiffened, the letters completely forgotten. Slowly you shifted your body towards Alec, giving him your full attention.  “I wasn’t feeling very well.” You lied.  “Are you feeling better?” He asked after a moment of silence.  “Yeah, i’m not sure what came over me.” You offered him a small smile. “Might have been feeling sick after the plane ride. You know what i’m like with planes.” Alec seemed to ignore that. “You won’t run away from me again, will you?” He asked.  “No.” You responded. “I just didn’t want to worry you.”  “You did worry me.” Alec responded stoically. “I don’t like that you ran from me.”  “I promise that wasn’t my intention. I won’t do that again. I promise.” You reached out a hand to him and his eyes flashed with surprise before a flicker of hope. 

He moved forward, taking your hand. You moved his hand to your lips, kissing it before cradling it in both of your hands. With Alec’s free hand, he slowly stroked you cheekbone, searching your eyes for something. Within seconds he broke free of your hold and pulled you up into an embrace. “I love you, (Y/n).” He said quietly, the statement only meant for you. You really hoped he meant that.  “I love you.” You said in response. “Remember you said you wanted to know what’s going on in my head?” Alec hummed softly, so much so you barely heard it.  “I think i’m ready to tell you.” You felt your eyes water and Alec pulled back, meeting your eyes with surprise once more, his stoic expression melting once more. 

Alec pulled back moving you to sit on your bed and he moved beside you.  “I’m sorry that I've been acting strange...distant. I got more details of why people are afraid of you and what you had done in the past.” You swallowed hard, feeling the tears well up in your eyes and Alec’s face shifted to one of hurt. Although he wasn’t hurting for himself, he seemed hurt for you. Alec’s gaze lowered.  “I’m an idiot.” You smiled, a tear slipping down your face. “I was so focused on what you had done to others in the past that i wasn’t looking at the present and how you treat me. I know you better than that. You’re honest. You’re honest in that if you wanted to hurt me or kill me like i thought, you would have done so.” Alec looked up sharply, eyes widened. He was clearly shocked by your statement, revealing what you had been thinking all along.  “You thought I would...?” Alec trailed off and another tear ran down your cheek.  “I look at you now and see how wrong i was. I should have been honest from the start. I shouldn’t have let it get into my head.” You said. Slowly the emotions slipped from Alec’s face as he brushed the tear away from your cheek. Alec leaned forward as he cradled your face in his hands, pulling you towards him gently. His lips met yours in a slow, sweet kiss. His fingers weaving into your hair on each side of your head.  “You don’t need to be afraid of me.” Alec said against your lips, chasing your lips for another kiss. “You are so special to me. You’re not like the others.”

[star-wars-scribbles-ff]

Click for better quality 👀 (ref photo)

IN SERVICE OF THE REPUBLIC

Art depiction from Where I Belong of my OC CT-1917/Lucky

Sneak peak scene snippet from chapter 13 of Where I Belong below!!

The sound of the nearest set of blast doors opening does little to pull a reaction from Arwen as she feels a presence emerge from the interior of the base and out onto the walkway where she was. She didn’t need much time at all to guess who it was. After that speeder-wreck of a conversation, General Kenobi was the only one who’d likely try to speak with her.

Despite having had almost half an hour to think about the conversation she’d just had with the Jedi Council members, Arwen could feel the anger bubbling back up to the surface. She was angry with them, but even more so with herself for thinking such an arrangement could actually be authentic.

“I don’t mean to interrupt,” General Kenobi announced himself, despite knowing she was aware of his presence already. 

Arwen let her eyes shoot to the left as the Jedi came to stand a few feet away from her before he turned to face the view of the Cruiser Staging Area. His aura was relaxed but his tone and posture gave away the most subtle hesitation he was bringing with him. He definitely wanted to say something; he wasn’t just coming for small talk. It’d be awkward if he did.

“I feel that our conversation took something of a wrong turn.”

“Wayii (good grief)- Just spit it out, General.” Corcer turned abruptly, pushing off of the railing her forearms had been rested upon to face the Jedi. His expression was calm, only a slight furrow of his brow indicated his reaction and potential concern or perhaps consideration to her anger bubbling over. “You used me to get what you needed for your investigation. That blasted contract was just a load of fodder-”

“The Council is still deliberating on your greater role, Corcer.” The General responded. “The contract is genuine, I assure you.” He sounded just as genuine however that did little to convince Arwen as she shook her head and looked out over the railing once more, hands grasping the railing tightly. 

“You must understand that the Council simply needs time to evaluate and consider the situation.” 

“All due respect, what else is there to consider?” She shot daggers over her shoulder before throwing the look ahead of her. “My service record? Jobs I’ve taken as a merc just to get by and survive in the mere months since my team was-” The abruptness of Arwen cutting off her own words had to have caught the Jedi’s attention as he physically shifted where he stood.

“Your team,” He stated the phrase with a casual quietness that made Corcer tense.

“Wer'cuy… Jetiise ke nu suvarir (forget it/it doesn’t matter… Jedi don’t understand).” She muttered under her breath with a shake of her head. 

“I beg your pardon?” The question seemed to be one of surprise more than anything.

“A Jedi wouldn’t understand!” Arwen finally barked, not bothering to look towards him. She only kept her gaze ahead, forearms coming to lean back on the railing as she looked down over ledge towards the lower deck where a small airfield was.

After everything; all that had happened. She didn’t know if she had the right to feel insulted or even upset about the position she was in. Granted she did everything in her power on that mission- gave everything she had and intended to give her life if not for the fact that she was somehow still here despite the odds. She gave everything. Herself. Her team- the only family she’d ever known - for the Republic… Was that not enough?

Arwen wished the sound of the ion engines of one of the Republic’s Venator-class cruisers powering up was loud enough to drown out any further conversation that could take place. She felt oddly trapped with this Jedi, despite having plenty of space to move away from him as he stood idly by a few feet away. He was being more civil than she’d like. Mentally trying to stomp out the crumbs of guilt sitting heavy in her stomach at her behavior around this General - a superior - didn’t seem to be working. 

He’s done nothing but be genuine so far. She had no reason to be angry with him specifically. But then again he was a Jedi. Jedi didn’t deal with emotions like other people did. They were cold, calculated individuals; weighing life rarely by worth but by majority… unless you were weighing the worth of a Jedi against Clones of course. Then the worth of one outweighed that of the majority. Jedi were just like everyone else… viewing this army like nothing but canon fodder; easily disposable and replaceable. Her team was nothing but numbers on a spreadsheet to them. She could count the number of Jedi she trusted on one hand. That number was even smaller when considering how many she trusted that weren’t already dead.

The Jedi General was quiet in his movements as he came to stand by her side, posture straight as he rested his hands upon the railing and eyed the view before them. Moving his gaze subtly he eyed the mercenary, noting her eyes had fallen and her expression, for a brief moment, appeared more exhausted and broken than any he’d seen in some time. 

“The Republic owes you and your team a great debt.” He’d considered the proclamation before coming to find Corcer. It was true after all. He’d read the details on the file; what she, as well as her team, had been a part of; how their actions may have very well saved the Republic just months prior due to the information they’d obtained and kept out of Separatist hands. However, that victory came at a cost.

Arwen shook her head at his words. Whether it was out of denial of his words or something else, Kenobi wasn’t completely sure. He was reluctant to dig deeper into her aura, but wanted to at least attempt, if not to get a better understanding of her. 

“Nice payback.” Arwen muttered before crossing her arms over the railing, risking the action of resting her chin down on her forearms. Her back was still tense, and she was ready to act at any time, however this Jedi posed no threat to her. Not at the moment at least.

General Kenobi considered her response before he nodded to himself.

“I understand you feel betrayed, and I apologize for what took place and- has… since taken place.”

Arwen could tell by the split second hesitation at the end of his sentence that he was treading carefully, however she didn’t plan on holding him to his words. She wanted to just knock his statement up to him sweet talking to get her cooperation however she could feel his sincerity. It was clear as day in the air and she couldn’t deny or ignore it.

“I’m sorry about General- Kazar and- Padawan Vorruk… sir,” Her voice lost its confidence rather quickly as soon as she uttered the names. She hadn’t said the names of the Jedi General and Padawan she’d worked with on that last mission since… the mission itself. “I-...” She couldn’t bring herself to continue as her throat tightened and suffocated the words before she could utter them.

I did what I could.

She hadn’t said it out loud, but she knew she didn’t have to.

“I know,” The response didn’t surprise her as much as his tone did. His voice held emotion, despite his professional output. He projected a sense of understanding and mentorship. There was also certainty to his tone.

He must’ve watched the holorecording. 

Arwen closed her eyes, brow knitting tightly as she tried to push the images from her mind. She could almost feel the weight of the Jedi padawan in her arms sometimes; when she’d held his half conscious body, clinging to life, while she tried to relay coordinates and need for extraction to the nearest Republic fleet and simultaneously fend off incoming hostiles. 

And now the Jedi had the footage of her message. 

It angered her that it was memorialized as a recording, but it enraged her that they’d seen it and still saw her as a threat. Like nothing that happened that day held any weight. 

A slight shift in the Jedi’s aura caused her to look subtly out of the corner of her eye and she evaluated his posture as it straightened and he cleared his throat quietly.

“I am currently negotiating with the Council to have you ship out with General Skywalker and I.” 

Arwen’s brow scrunched together at the Jedi’s words and she pushed off of the railing to stand straight and face the Jedi.

“Sir- the Council said-”

“I am proceeding to try and convince them otherwise.” Kenobi responded, hands coming behind his back as his gaze arched over the view in front of them once more before it returned to her. “I read your file and reviewed your training as well as completed missions. Your skillset will be of the most use in the field. Now, it will take some time before we can have you operating openly if this pans out. But for the time being, I am going to do my best to get the Council’s permission to have you work in the background of any ongoing operations within my battle group.”

Alright… This Jedi isn’t half bad.

Corcer eyed him for a moment, overall uncertainty written in her expression before she swallowed and let out a quiet breath through her nose.

“Thank you, sir.” 

I feel like a di'kut now.

The General eyed her quietly for a time before glancing away towards the blast doors down the walkway. 

“0700 tomorrow there will be a meeting on standard operating procedures in the east wing for new clones joining the ranks of the 212th. You’re welcome to attend.”

The offer surprised her, however that surprise was quickly overshadowed by solace. Corcer’s hands swung around behind her back subconsciously, posture straight and attentive as she gave the Jedi General a nod.

“I’ll be there, sir.” Arwen’s tone voiced assurance and even confidence.

Giving her a curt nod and a hint of a professional smile, General Kenobi excused himself and turned to head back inside. 

Corcer watched him leave and once the blast doors closed behind the Jedi, she found herself mulling over the breath sitting in her chest before she slowly let it out and returned to her spot leaning on the railing.

The sense of reassurance was starting to leave a subtle bitter taste in her mouth. On the surface she felt relief, knowing this Jedi appeared to be coming at her from the right direction; easing her into situations where she’d be surrounded by the troops. However the deeper she sifted through her mind… she was terrified. 

How the kark am I gonna fit in with these troopers? I don’t know the first thing about Infantry SOPs.

Then there was the matter of how she would be received. The last thing she wanted was to be on the bad side of these troopers. Then again her very presence was already proving a negative to the 501st troopers as they’ve had to cart her around twice today. If things kept going down the same road, she’d have a difficult time fitting in.

Until she knew exactly what her job would be, if the General could square something away for her, she couldn’t get too comfortable with anything on the base, and especially not with any of the men. That was the only thing she’d need to be sure to do. Don’t let yourself care; don’t get attached. If it’s one thing her past had taught her; it only ends in heartbreak and it leaves you more alone than ever.

Not one of my best arts, but I’ve had it sitting on the shelf for a long time so I figured it was better to share it sooner rather than later. Check the story out if you’re curious for more! Feedback is always appreciated 💕

[fanimesenseiwrites]

Kidnapped to Hell (pt. 18)

Hoshiko led Lucifer to the library once they got back to the house.

Lucifer opened the concealed passage to his study. "We can talk in here if you prefer."

Hoshiko nodded as they headed into the study. "It'll be more private if we're still talking by the time everyone else gets home."

"My thoughts exactly," Lucifer concurred before following Hoshiko into the study and closing the door behind him.

Hoshiko sat down in one of the wingback chairs and hummed.

Lucifer smiled slightly and sat next to Hoshiko in the other chair. "What is it?"

Hoshiko looked at him. "You know, your study is actually a special place for me."

Lucifer raised an eyebrow. "It is?"

Hoshiko nodded. "This is where we made our pact."

"It is indeed, we also shared our first kiss in here," Lucifer added.

"Our first time may not have been in here but we've had some pretty great sex in here too," Hoshiko reminded him with a grin.

Lucifer chuckled and shook his head. "Yes, yes we have."

Hoshiko smiled at Lucifer's grin, glad to see him more relaxed than he had appeared the past couple days.

Lucifer smiled back at Hoshiko and leaned back into his chair.

Hoshiko slipped off their shoes and pulled their feet into their chair, getting comfortable for what they expected to be a long conversation. "So..."

Lucifer perked up, recognizing that tone to indicate that Hoshiko wanted to talk. "Yes?"

Hoshiko looked at Lucifer. "Firstly, I wanted to apologize for how... hostile I've been towards you these past couple days. I've also been pretty hypocritical in regards to you and that wasn't fair of me, and I'm sorry."

Lucifer nodded. "I accept your apology. I understand now why you acted like that."

"I'm glad that you do. For as mad as I was at you, I was even more terrified that you didn't love me anymore," Hoshiko confessed.

Lucifer frowned. "Whatever would give you that idea?"

"Well, you didn't save me. And then you didn't even go down to the eight circles to get me, and then you just seemed so... distant, especially compared to your brothers."

"I'm sorry you felt that way, but I assure that everything I did was in your best interest... at least, I thought it was."

Hoshiko nodded. "Can you explain to me your perspective? Because I need to understand too."

Lucifer nodded. "Of course. I assumed that there would be time later for comforting you, I needed to do what I could to make sure you were safe first."

Hoshiko sighed. "Not that I don't appreciate that, but you could've taken a little time to come talk to me. I think that would've saved us both a headache."

"Well, why didn't you come talk to me? It's obvious that you were holding in your feelings for a while now," Lucifer asked.

Hoshiko puffed out their cheeks and looked away.

"See? It's not so easy when you're the one under the microscope," Lucifer teased.

Hoshiko sighed. "... we're more alike than we care to admit sometimes," Hoshiko's accent came out with their last sentence.

"Hm, I was wondering if that was going to rear its head," Lucifer commented on the appearance of Hoshiko's accent.

Hoshiko looked at him. "I'm so sorry," they told him sarcastically.

"I didn't mean that to be derogatory, I just know your accent tends to show face when you're upset."

"Yeah, I know you know."

"Is it so bad to know and be like each other?" Lucifer asked, sensing Hoshiko's growing annoyance.

"It is if you're not going to use that knowledge to your advantage," Hoshiko argued.

"We," Lucifer corrected.

"Excuse me?" Hoshiko asked, genuinely confused.

"We should use the knowledge that we are like each other to both of our advantages. If I am willing to admit my faults in this incident to you, then you need to do the same to me," Lucifer bargained.

Hoshiko shifted in their seat, uncomfortable with Lucifer calling them out and him being right about it.

Lucifer watched Hoshiko, waiting for them to respond.

Hoshiko sighed and looked at him. "You're right... I apologized for not treating you right, but I had a inkling of how you'd act and I used that to make things harder rather than make them easier."

Lucifer nodded. "Thank you for saying so."

Hoshiko sighed. "Yeah, yeah..."

"But why would you self-sabotage like that?"

"Why would you assume you had a nightmare about me being in danger and then worry about me anyways? But then still not do anything about it?" Hoshiko counter asked.

Lucifer opened his mouth to say something but stopped himself.

"Uh huh," was Hoshiko's only comment, obviously feeling vindicated.

Lucifer huffed. "I thought you wanted to talk in order to make things better," he reminded them.

"You would've done the same thing," Hoshiko pointed out.

Lucifer sighed.

Hoshiko sighed as well. "I'm sorry..."

"I forgive you," Lucifer replied.

Hoshiko got up and walked over to Lucifer and sat down in his lap, straddling him and taking his face into their hands. "Let's try again."

Lucifer nodded and grabbed Hoshiko's hands with either of his.

"I love you a lot, Lucifer," Hoshiko started. "I... I got really scared when you didn't come save me, especially once I knew you did get my message. I thought you didn't love me anymore, I was afraid you didn't care... and so I immediately retreated away from you, even when I so desperately wanted to be comforted by you."

Lucifer moved his hands down to Hoshiko's waist and wrapped his arms around them.

"Then Solomon told me what you had assumed and I saw your text and I got so mad," Hoshiko continued. "I thought that you were either an idiot or you had let your pride come before me. Either way, I thought it was cowardly."

Lucifer grimaced at that.

"Yeah, I know. But that was how I felt. I understand that I probably could've saved us both some heartache if I had just talked to you, but... I just couldn't. I didn't want to, I wanted you to suffer like I had suffered. Which, I know is so fucked up but..." Hoshiko sighed. "I dunno."

"Yes you do," Lucifer goaded gently.

Hoshiko half-heartedly glared at him. "Don't you go sounding like my therapist."

Lucifer chuckled. "I want to hear everything. Just keep talking."

Hoshiko nodded. "Speaking of my therapist, I know I do have a habit of looking for trouble..."

"Yes, you do," Lucifer agreed.

"Hush you," Hoshiko told Lucifer as they smacked his chest playfully.

Lucifer chuckled.

"Anyways," Hoshiko continued. "My therapist told me that she sees this a lot in people who have been abused long term. They don't know what to do if they're not dealing with a crisis, so even when they finally get to a good place they may create their own problems because they just don't know anything else... so I guess I do that sometimes. That's why I self-sabotage... and I'm working on it, but it takes more than just a couple therapy sessions to fix it."

Lucifer nodded. "I see."

Hoshiko suddenly got nervous at Lucifer's lack of words.

Lucifer pecked his lips against their's. "Thank you for telling me, and I'm proud of you for trying."

Hoshiko teared up. "Don't tell me that."

Lucifer frowned and reached up to stroke their cheek. "Why not?"

"Because I'll get all emotional if you do, I don't do well with praise," they whined.

Lucifer chuckled. "I know, but you need to get used to it."

Hoshiko huffed. "It's your turn," they reminded him, trying to change the subject.

"Right." Lucifer glanced away, wondering where he should start.

Hoshiko waited for him to start, but when they grew impatient they asked: "Why did you think me contacting you was just a nightmare?"

Lucifer sighed. He didn't look at Hoshiko as he spoke. "... It is not uncommon for me to dream of you in danger."

Hoshiko blinked. "Oh. I didn't know..."

"Yes, though I will admit that this experience was different from my typical nightmares. I suppose I just didn't really think about how different it was until it was already too late."

Hoshiko nodded.

"By the time I had learned that Diavolo and my brothers were anxious and worried as well, we contacted Solomon, and then Barbatos came to tell us where you were. I assumed he had looked into the past and saw you being abducted."

Hoshiko nodded and glanced away, feeling a little uncomfortable at the thought of that.

"And then Diavolo instructed everyone on what to do, he had Barbatos and Satan go down with him to the Eight Circles... and he asked me to stay and keep my brothers calm and prepare for you to be brought back home."

"So that's why you didn't come..." Hoshiko sighed as tears welled up in their eyes.

Lucifer frowned. "What is it?"

"I just..." Hoshiko sighed. "Some times I forget that Diavolo isn't just our friend, he's the crown prince... the future king... your boss essentially. So when he tells you do something and you just do it, I get frustrated sometimes... I feel like you chose him over me."

Lucifer immediately opened his mouth to argue, but Hoshiko cut him off.

"I know it's not that simple, I'm just telling you how I feel... I know, I just have to get over it."

Lucifer nodded and stroked Hoshiko's cheek. "Were this a less dire situation, I would have insisted to go with him... but I didn't want to delay your rescue any more."

Hoshiko nodded. "Yeah, I guess that was a good idea..."

Lucifer smiled slightly. "What else can I do to ease your mind?"

Hoshiko looked away. "So, earlier... ya know, when we were fightin' and arguin', you implied that I... when I die, I'll..." They were obviously very uncomfortable with saying it out loud.

"I shouldn't have said that, that was out of line, even if we were already heated. I'm sorry," Lucifer promptly apologized.

"That's fine, but is it true?" Hoshiko asked, suddenly concerned about their fate.

"No... at least not anymore," Lucifer assured them. "That did used to be the default when the Devildom and celestial realm were actively at war with each other. But that was one of the first things Diavolo changed when he started working to foster peace between the three realms... though I never felt the need to verify it until now."

Hoshiko nodded and glanced away.

Lucifer stroked Hoshiko's cheek.

Hoshiko leaned into his touch and looked back at him.

"I'd be lying if I said I was just a hundred percent better and okay with everything's that's happened, but I am better."

Lucifer nodded once. "That makes sense, I think I understand."

Hoshiko smiled slightly. "I'm glad, thank you."

Lucifer kissed the top of their head. "You're welcome."

Hoshiko yawned. "Okay, I think it's time for bed."

"I agree." Lucifer stood up, and carried Hoshiko.

"Oh!" Hoshiko wrapped their arms around Lucifer's neck. "Thank you."

"Anything for you, Starlight," he told Hoshiko as he carried them to their room.

Hoshiko hummed quietly.

Lucifer took Hoshiko into their room and straight to their bathroom and set them on the counter.

"Why didn't you put me in bed?" Hoshiko asked with a small pout.

"You need to take off your makeup first," Lucifer insisted as he grabbed a cotton ball and the eye-makeup remover.

Hoshiko sighed. "I don't want to but you're right."

Lucifer smirked. "Yes, now close your eyes."

Hoshiko just did as they were told.

Lucifer gently and methodically removed all of Hoshiko's makeup for them.

Hoshiko looked at him and smiled when he was finished. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. If you'll take off your dress, I'll hang it up for you," Lucifer offered.

"You just want to see me naked," Hoshiko teased as they stood up off the counter.

Lucifer chuckled. "While that is always a delight, I do not intend to act on that tonight."

"Good. Because I need to sleep tonight," Hoshiko reminded him as they took off their dress and handed it to him.

"I know you do," Lucifer replied before taking the dress and going to hang it up.

Hoshiko walked into their bedroom and put on their night gown before climbing into their bed.

Lucifer walked over and sat on the edge of the bed. "Is there anything else I can do for you to help you sleep more comfortably?"

"Don't let any of your brothers wake me up," Hoshiko commanded.

Lucifer chuckled. "No one will disturb you, I promise."

Hoshiko nodded and got comfortable in bed.

"Alright," Lucifer started as he stood up. "I'll leave you be."

"Thanks. Good night."

"Good night, sleep well."

"I think I actually will tonight," Hoshiko told him as they snuggled further into their blanket.

Lucifer chuckled softly as he turned off the light. "Good night," he reiterated before walking out and closing the door behind him.

Hoshiko hummed quietly to themself and closed their eyes. They didn't take long to fall asleep, and for the first time in a few days they stayed asleep.

Part 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18

[ouronlyangelhes]

Something About Blind Dates

Another cute little piece coming at ya! Let me know what you think!

Romantic comedies, were something you throughly enjoyed but also despised. Sure, they were all made for a good laugh and a sentimental moment here and there. But there was one thing you had realized as you had grown older, life was not like the movies.

 Especially romantic comedies. Love had been something that had been lacking in your life for quite a while. You were at the age where your friends were starting to get engaged, married, and have children of their own. You were happy for your friends, how could you not be? Every friend wants their friends to find someone who makes them genuinely happy. You just hadn’t found that person yet.

You didn’t want to come across as sinister as you opened yet another save the date card in the mail, but you couldn’t help it. Relationships weren’t something that came naturally to you, it was something that unlike some of your friends was a rarity. Some of your friends had a way of attracting guys, some however not the greatest. But they had a way of always having a new guy in their lives, or a new guy they had exchanged numbers with, getting hit on by the most attractive men. Maybe you were just closed off to love. Maybe that’s why you weren’t always in a relationship, maybe those guys could sense your hostility, therefore making you not the ideal choice.

At this point, you didn’t know what it was that had made you so unlucky in love. You had just hoped one day the right person would come along and that would be it. So far, that had yet to happen.

“There’s this guy I want you to meet.” Your friend Becca said to you.

“Ugh, Becs I am so not interested. The last two guys you tried to set me up with were total messes. One still lived at home and had no aspirations, the other had a fiancé you somehow didn’t know about.” You replied.

“I will admit the guy with the fiancé was definitely an over sight on my part. But c’mon, I think you would really get along well with this guy. You have similar interests, both of you are social people, and besides he’s really sweet.” She said.

At this point she was practically begging you to say yes to meet this guy.

“Fine, I will agree to meet him. But can it not be a date that is clearly a date. Can we just all go out together or something? That way if its bad I can just casually leave without making a scene.” You suggested.

“Yes. I can see if he can come get drinks with us this weekend. He’s friends with Glenne and Jeff too, and its not like they have bad taste in friends. Him and Matt know each other from work, he is the one who actually suggested I introduce you. His name is Harry and I think it will be good for you.” She said.

“Okay, I said I would meet him. You don’t have to keep trying to convince me.” You replied. 

To be honest you didn’t really wanna meet Harry. Becca’s intentions were always pure and she wanted you to meet a nice guy, but sometimes her selections for you were very questionable.

You had hoped this Harry guy would be different and this whole arrangement wouldn’t be a total bust. 

Tonight was the night. The night had finally come for you to join Becca and Matthew for the date they were setting up with Harry. Although you weren’t the most excited about this date, your outlook had shifted slightly and you were kinda looking forward to it. You had a reservation for dinner and drinks at 7 and you were just about ready to head out the door.

You walked into the restaurant and saw Matthew and Becca waiting at the table for you.

“You look amazing! I’m glad you’re here.” Becca said as she brought you in for a hug.

“Harry is just parking, should be in a minute.” Matthew said.

“Okay, yeah.” You responded.

“I am glad you agreed to this. Becca told me you were a little on the fence but I’m glad you said yes.” Matthew said.

“I guess I should be grateful that I have friends that want to set me up.” You said with a smile.

“Sorry, the parking was chaos. Hello Matthew, Becca. You must be Y/N, great to meet you.” Harry said as he sat down across from you. 

You were taken by the charming man sitting across from you. This may very well be the first time you didn’t see a date set up by Becca becoming a disaster. 

“Nice to meet you, Harry.” You said with a smile.

The dinner went well in your opinion, Harry was very charming and definitely had a way about him that drew you in. To be honest, you were surprised that he was single. He was very sweet and you figured everyone would be lining up for a date with him.

“Well, dinner was great guys. Thank you both for joining us.” Matthew said as he stood up from the table.

“Yes, thank you. I had a great time.” Becca said.

You finished saying your goodbyes and walked out the restaurant.

“I had a really nice time tonight.” Harry said as you both walked out of the restaurant.

“I did too.”  You replied.

“I was wondering If you would maybe wanna get a drink or something somewhere else. Or a hot chocolate or something. It is a little cold out.” Harry said to you as you made your way towards your car.

“Uh, yeah sure. I’d like that. I’d be crazy to turn down a hot chocolate in this weather.” You said.

You enjoyed getting to spend more time with Harry. You learned about his family, his passions, his hobbies. It almost felt like you had known him for ages, I didn’t feel like a first date and you liked that.

“Tonight was really fun. And I don’t just mean dinner I mean all of it. To be honest when Becca said she had someone she wanted to set me up with I wasn’t so pleased with the idea. Especially because she’s kinda been known to be the worlds worst matchmaker. But now, I am really glad I said yes to meeting you.” You said.

“Well, I am happy you agreed to meet me. Honestly I didn’t know what to expect either. I knew you were good friends with Becca and I know Matt well from work, but I just kinda said yes and I hoped you wouldn’t turn out to be crazy.” He said as you laughed.

“Well, you don’t really know me all that well yet do you?” You replied,

“You’re quite cheeky aren’t ya?” He said. 

The date came to a nice close. You exchanged numbers and he said that he would reach out to you later this week about getting together soon. And that was something you were quite looking forward to.

[hyuniebaby]

Dangerous Woman

Pairings: Jongin x Y/N x Baekhyun

Genre: SMUT

Warnings: daddy kink, oral, threesome, spanking, voyeurism

AU: mafia!au

Song reference: Dangerous Woman by SuperM

tw: slight mention of harassment. please read at your own risk.

A/N: I can’t believe I wrote this. I’m ascending JBFUHGFUEE. I hope you enjoy reading this filth 🥵

Black boots, short black leather skirt, a choker, and a fitted crop top with a low neckline showcasing your cleavage, that was your ensemble this Friday night. You had your reddest lipstick on and a winged eyeliner. The clothes you wore accentuate your curves and showed a lot of skin. It was perfect for seduction. You feel so sexy.

As you entered the club, you could feel a lot of eyes on you. You see men glancing at you up and down, basically feasting their eyes with your looks. You smirk. You loved this feeling. You felt like you had so much power, like you had these men wrapped around your finger. But there was only one man who you wanted. And you were walking straight to him.

He was wearing a satin shirt, almost unbuttoned except for one. He had chains on his neck and gold rings on his fingers. You can clearly see his toned body from what he was wearing. You lick your lips at the sight of him. He looked delicious.

The club was a dangerous place. Too dangerous for a woman to come alone, especially when you were surrounded by men with predatory eyes that could pounce on you at any second. You don’t let them deter you though. Besides, you loved danger. You loved how thrilling these situations are.

The walk took longer than expected, since men who were new to the place kept trying to get your attention. You had been stopped a couple of times by them asking for your name. You gave them a dazzling smile as you said, “Trouble.”

You didn’t have to look at your boyfriend to know that he was glaring at you. You enjoyed making him mad for attracting attention from other men.

Men can easily be deceived by a simple smile. It was amusing for you to watch them underestimate you and think that you were approachable, attainable. But you were cold, ruthless, and wild. The only person who could tame you was the man staring daggers at your direction.

You pass by a few more tables when a male gropes your ass. You stop in your tracks, turning around and giving the male an icy look. Before he could react, you grabbed the bottle of beer he had on his table and smacked it to his head with so much force. It was such a normal occurrence for you in this club that the waiters didn’t even bat an eye when you did it.

“Bitch!” The male growls but before he can attack you, guns were pointed at him by your boyfriend’s subordinates. He holds his hands up in surrender, shocked. You smirk. No one messes with you. No one messes with Kim Jongin’s girl.

Jongin had always told you to leave when trouble ensues, but here you were. Instead of leaving the man be, you walk towards him. “Stop harassing women, you piece of shit.” You scowl. You lean in and whisper to his ear, “If you don’t, then watch your back. I won’t stop until I have your head.” The man visibly shivers at your threat. With a flick of your wrist, the assailant was escorted out of the club.

When the commotion was over, you continued to walk towards your man. If he was mad when a few men were flirting with you, he was livid now upon watching you get assaulted. Again. You could feel his anger radiating off of him even when you were still a couple of steps away from him. Some of his subordinates were eyeing him warily. They knew not to come close to him when he was in this mood. Jongin could easily kill anyone without remorse when he was this angry. He was dangerous. But you were a daredevil.

You stop in front of him. “Hi, Jongi-”

“Kai. It’s Kai.” He cuts you off.

Right, it was Jongin when he’s alone with you and Kai when he’s in front of his subordinates.

Before you could even correct yourself, he snaps at you, “What do you think you’re doing here?”

You frown. You weren’t really expecting this hostile welcome. “Well, I wanted to see y--”

He doesn’t let you finish your sentence, again. “I clearly told you not to come here.” He says coldly. “It’s too dangerous for you.”

You roll your eyes at him. “I don’t need protecting.” You snap. You were already irritated with the harassment, you don’t need Kai telling you what else to do and how to act. You see his eye twitch at your sudden outburst, but you didn’t care.

“You should’ve just gone to that illegal street racing event you love. There’s way less trouble there than here.”

You cross your arms which somehow emphasizes your breasts more. You watch as he shifts his eyes to your chest. “Min won’t let me drive! What fun would that be?”

“Of course he won’t, you don’t know how to race.” He says simply.

“Oh but I do know!” You grin. “Someone taught me.” You say in a singsong voice.

His head snaps to his right-hand man, Baekhyun, who is the only racer in their group. Baekhyun coughs loudly, Kai was glaring at the man. It was scary. Baekhyun doesn’t know how you don’t even cower when Kai looks at you like this.

Kai charges towards Baekhyun and grabs his collar, “You taught her?! You know how dangerous it is!”

“Listen, man. I tried to refuse. I told her you’d kill me if you found out. But of course she doesn’t care about that.” He gives you a pointed look to which you respond with a roll in your eyes. “But then she says she’d go to Mark for help instead, and I knew you’d actually kill me if she went there.”

Mark was from the rival gang. He was no match for Baekhyun but you were desperate to learn. And desperate times calls for desperate measures, right?

Kai releases his grip on Baekhyun and grabs you by your arm. He motions for Baekhyun to come with. You, on the other hand, protest, clearly not wanting to go home just yet. Sure, you wanted to get Jongin’s attention, but you also wanted a drink, maybe a smoke too but Jongin wasn’t going to let you.

He drags you to his car, Baekhyun following behind. He drives you back to his place in silence. He was brooding. The atmosphere in the car was tense. The fact that Baekhyun was there didn’t calm your nerves.

When you reach his apartment, he orders, “Go to our room.”

You roll your eyes again but comply nevertheless. You can hear muffled voices over the door but you can’t really understand what Jongin was telling Baekhyun. For a moment you feel like he’s going to make the him guard you so you don’t do anything stupid. The thought pisses you off. You were looking for some thrill in your life and there was absolutely no thrill in being stuck at home while he lived a dangerous life that you wanted for yourself.

After realizing it was fruitless to try and listen in to their conversation, you decide to change into your nightgown.

The door to your shared bedroom with Jongin opens suddenly, just as you were removing your crop top. Jongin enters with Baekhyun trailing behind. Jongin eyes darken. You were wearing the lacy bra he liked on you. Baekhyun shamelessly looks over your body.

Within three strides, Jongin reaches you and roughly kisses you. He grabs your boobs. You arch your back and moan loudly as he did so. His lips trail to your neck and you tilt your head to give him access. You open your eyes and find Baekhyun still in the room, watching you submit to your boyfriend. He bites his lips and trails his hands towards his boner. The sight turned you on.

Jongin leaves a mark on your sweet spot and detaches himself away from you. With his voice dropping an octave he says, “Remember who you belong to.”

You weren’t sure what he meant by that but then he nods his head at Baekhyun.

Baekhyun walks over to you, eyes filled with lust. He grabs you by your waist and presses himself to you. You can feel his hard-on. You gulp.

He kisses you next. It starts slowly at first but gets more urgent within minutes. He slips his hands under your skirt and grabs your ass. You whimper at the sudden action. He growls at the cute little sounds you make. He then dips his hand into your panties, feeling the wet patch on it. He smirks, “Someone’s a little eager.”

He moves your panties aside and rubs your wet cunt. He then looks over at Kai and says, “Can I eat her out?”

You momentarily forgot Kai was still in the room, watching the two of you. You notice his bulge on his tight pants. He nods wordlessly in response to Baekhyun’s question.

“Remove your panties and get on the bed, baby. Keep your skirt on.” Baekhyun orders.

You were quick to oblige. You were so horny, you didn’t want to waste any second. You spread your legs as you wait for Baekhyun’s next move. He takes a few seconds to admire your body while he touches his cock through his pants. You can see how big he is. It makes you even wetter.

He takes quick steps towards you and lifts your legs over his shoulders. He tentatively licks your core and you can help but whimper. He pushes a finger in and watches your face contort with pleasure. He removes his finger and sucks on it while maintaining eye contact. He hums in approval. He dives back into your cunt and starts eating you out. Your hands immediately fly to his hair. He licks and sucks and pushes his tongue in and out of you and you moan uncontrollably loud. At your peripheral, you can see Kai unbuckling his belt and unzipping his pants. He releases his cock out of the offensive garment. You turn your head to him and beg, “Let me please suck you off.”

Kai smirks, “Oh you’re begging now? What happened to the bad girl a while ago?”

“I’m sorry for being naughty.” You suddenly know what to say to let him do what you want. “Daddy,” you purr. His eyes darken at that. Even Baekhyun pauses mid-lick as he hears you say Daddy so sexily.

Kai walks over to the side of the bed while pumping his shaft. When you are face to face with his cock, you lick its sides before fully taking him in your mouth. You hollow your cheeks and start sucking him off. Baekhyun takes this time to insert two fingers in your cunt without stopping his ministrations. You moan again, the vibrations you released made Kai shiver. Kai then grabs your hair and starts thrusting into your mouth. You choke on his cock multiple times but he doesn’t stop. You can feel tears threatening to fall in your eyes from his rough treatment, but you didn’t care. It made you even hornier.

You feel a familiar knot tightening when Baekhyun inserts one more finger into you. He feels your cunt tightening on his fingers and starts rubbing your clit. Without warning, you cum. Baekhyun licks the juices coming out of you. “Fuck, man. She tastes so good.”

Baekhyun starts stripping while Kai continues to assault your mouth. Without warning, he pushes himself into you. He doesn’t give you time to adjust. He slams into you.

Kai removes his cock out of your mouth when he was near, not wanting to cum just yet. He composes himself while watching Baekhyun roughly fuck you. You claw into his back, you couldn’t help yourself. You moan Baekhyun’s name so loudly which prompts him to go faster. When Kai notices you were making the face you made when you were about to come, he tells Baekhyun to stop. Baekhyun understands and removes himself out of you. You groan in frustration. You were so close!

“On all fours, kitten.” Kai orders.

You do as he says, afraid that he might not let you cum at all if you disobeyed him.

Kai spanks you on your bum. “You’ve been such a bad girl today, kitten. Don’t you think you need to be punished?”

“Y-yes, Daddy.”

“Count for me.”

He spanks you for fifteen times until he stops. You weren’t able to gather your bearings yet when he sheaths his cock into you. If Baekhyun was rough, Kai was brutal. Not to mention he was bigger and reached parts of you that Baekhyun didn’t. You feel yourself getting lost into this new sensation.

Baekhyun takes this time to shove his shaft into your mouth. You gladly accept. Both men were thrusting into you so quickly, desperate for their release. Baekhyun was the first to cum. He releases his load into your face. “Fuck.” He sighs. Both you and Kai released at the same time, moaning each other’s name as you came to a high.

You were tired from the activity that you collapsed into the bed as soon as you were finished. You couldn’t even find energy to wipe off Baekhyun’s cum on your face.

Kai abruptly stands to get a wet towel to clean you up. You smile at the sweet gesture. You doze off as soon as he finishes cleaning you up.

Baekhyun waits for Kai outside the room, dressed up already. When Kai exits the room half dressed, Baekhyun says, “That was fun. Let’s do that again.” He grins.

“No way. She’s mine. Find your own girl.” Kai glares.

“What’s up with you?” Baekhyun asks.

“What do you mean?”

“I can see you’re in love.” Baekhyun smirks.

“Me?”

“Yes, you dude.” He gives the younger male a knowing look before he turns around to walk out of Kai’s apartment.

Maybe I am, Kai thinks to himself.

[angxlyxn]

understand - levi x f. reader

summary: After finding that you disobeyed his rules, Levi realizes that he might have to help you understand a bit more of who actually has control.

warnings: light smut, yandere themes, PHYSICAL ABUSE, violence, dubcon, obsessive behavior, abusive language/swearing, some ooc content

word count: ~4k

You hurriedly walked through the musty hallway, heavy boots clinking against the stony floors of the base.  You continued rushing to your room, head whipping furiously from side to side as you tried to gauge your surroundings.  You knew he was coming for you- in fact, you could feel him.  You could feel his burning determination from a few rooms away, not to mention the pure fury he must be feeling for you.  You were no stranger to Levi’s punishments, and you certainly were not looking forward to the inevitable discipline that awaited you today.  Discipline.  The term was really laughable at this point, as it seemed that his perception of the very concept was skewed, to say the least.  You hastily tightened the leather straps on your legs, readjusting your jacket as you skidded through the dimly lit corridors.  You heard a few calls echoing through the hallways, and you could faintly make out your name amongst the string of words that the person was saying.  You panicked as you realized who was yelling out, using every inch of strength left in your body as you broke into a full sprint.  However, you soon realized that this was a mistake, as your heavy footfalls had just revealed your location to the very man you were trying to evade.

“L/n, get the FUCK back here!”  He was getting closer.  You willed your already sore body to move faster, your legs aching with every step that you took.  

‘Just.. a bit...further....the dorms are up ahead, just keep running, just a bi-‘  Your thoughts came to an abrupt halt as you felt a large force slamming into your back, sending you tumbling to the cold floors of the corridor.  Your chin hit the stones with a great force, causing your entire skull to shake a bit.  You felt a drop of blood make its way down your neck, presumably from your chin. Still, despite the sheer futility of the situation, you tried to push yourself up from your sprawled out position of the ground, only to be pushed back down again by a heavy boot slamming down against the back of your rib cage.  

“No, Levi, pl-“

“That’s Captain to you L/n,” he said, spitting out your name as though it were a slur of sorts.  He kicked you roughly in the side with his steel-toed shoe, urging you to turn over onto your back.  You did as he wished, the pain searing through your exhausted body as you did so.  You looked up, immediately regretting your decision to do so, as the pure rage hidden behind his usually passive eyes was enough to make you fear for your life.  You quickly averted your e/c irises from Levi’s own grey hues, biting your bottom lip out of nervousness.  

“Hey!”  You heard an aggressive, yet still somehow monotonous shout, as well as the feeling of his foot clamping down on your chest yet again, this time accompanied by a whimper from you as your body convulsed at the amount of force he put into his step.  “You look at me when I’m talking to you, do you hear me?”  He said, receiving nothing more than a small tremble from you.  Visibly dissatisfied with your lack of a response, he pressed down harder on your chest, eliciting yet another whimper from you.  

“Y-yes, Captain,” you managed to stutter out, your voice meek and frightened.  His eyes narrowed as he removed his foot from your chest.

“Get up,” he said, his tone intense and impatient.  You nodded hesitantly, pushing yourself off of the ground, or, at least, attempting to.  After a few seconds of trying to force yourself off of the stony tile, you felt a rough hand grasp your hair, pulling you up from the ground.  Your steps faltered, only resulting in another sharp tug on your hair from Levi.  “Hurry up,” he said under his breath.  “Fucking slut.”  

He continued like this for a while, tugging you along towards his chambers, much to your terror.  You began to struggle against him as he took his keys out from his pocket, slotting the rusted key into his door handle.  You mumbled a bit under your breath, but your frantic ramblings fell on deaf ears.  Soon enough, his door was opened, and you were unceremoniously thrown inside of his room.  You heard your only means of escape slamming behind you, a resounding thud echoing through the young captain’s quarters.  

“I gave you one task,” he growled.  “One..simple..FUCKING JOB.”  You could tell that he was desperately trying not to lose his cool, if only for his own personal satisfaction.  From the years of time that you had spent with the man, you had grown accustomed to his odd, sadistic way of drawing things out for way, way longer than they needed to be, well, drawn out for.  It was sick.  

“I give you one thing to do.  I tell you to stay inside.  Within the confines of the base.  All you had to do was just sit pretty in your room, the room that I so lovingly cleared and made nice for you.”  The way he spat out the word “cleared” made you more nervous than you could tell, but you supposed that wasn’t anything to be concerned about right now.  After all, when Levi is mad, it's a much larger problem than anything else that you might have an issue with. In times where he was upset, or really at all times, you found it easier to just not question him.  He continued to shout at you, his words growing incoherent as you brushed your fingers against your face, digits catching on the crimson liquid that had dribbled down from your nose and onto your chin.  As you tried to clear your foggy mind his voice rang back through your head, his tone now hostile, even bordering on animalistic as he yelled down at you.  “Little whore, are you deaf?  SAY SOMETHING!  When I talk to you, you respond, got it?” He said, kicking you in the thigh to punctuate his sentence.  You turned around, hesitantly tilting your tear-stained face at the man above you.  Gulping down your pride, you decided to tell him what you thought he would like to hear.

“I-I’m sorry, I just wasn’t thinking, and everything just felt like so much, I had to get away, I had to go outside, I-I’m sorry, I couldn’t take it anymor-“

“You couldn’t take it anymore?”  Levi mocked, bending down slightly.  “You couldn’t fucking take it anymore?  Oh L/n, you can take so, so much more than anything I’ve already done to you.  You work for me, remember?  You belong to me.  You will do as I say, and L/n, you know what happens when you disobey me.”  

Your eyes widened at his words as you began to back away from him, hands grating against the splintering hardwood beneath you.  “No, Levi, please, no no no please I’ll do anything, please,”  He just chuckled lightly in response to your pleading, simply grabbing onto your wrist and pulling you up from your spot on the floor.  He brought you close to him, so close that your hips were flush against his.  

“You need to learn that when I say it’s too much, it’s too much.  You don’t have the privilege of deciding things like this.  You haven’t earned the right,” he whispered, his hot breath brushing up against your ear.

Suddenly, he gripped onto your shoulders, shoving you onto the cot that sat in the corner of his room.  At this, you let out a yelp, barely having enough time to brace your fall before you collapsed down on the rough comforter that was tucked neatly into the corners of the bed.  As you did so, you came to a terrifying realization.  To anyone else it may have been a source of comfort, but to you, well, to put it simply, you were afraid.  Levi was acting....calm. Unsettlingly calm.  Well, at least compared to his usual persona when angry. Usually at this point, he would’ve stabbed you at least twice in the leg, and would most likely be screaming bloody murder.  That was one thing that was different about Levi whenever he was around you.  With others, he often put on a cold front, one that was virtually undisturbed, even when he would see his comrades die right before him, or even during battle, an attitude which you at first considered to be nothing short of appalling.  However, nothing could compare to the way he acted when he was alone with you.  He was always loose with his emotions around you, never holding back on things such as, well, anger.  You supposed keeping your emotions bottled up all the time would take some sort of toll on a person, as you were sure it did on Levi, but his anger was horrendous.  It was like he was some sort of sadist.  

That’s why it was so strange that his anger was not on full display, at least not yet.  Hell, you barely had any bruises yet.  Instead of his normal unhinged hostility, he was standing over what appeared to be a desk drawer, clutching a slender object.  Perfectly calm, even..docile.  Against your better judgement, you spoke up.

“L-Levi, are you not upset wi-th me?”  You said, cursing yourself for stuttering.

The man in question chuckled a bit before answering.  “Upset?  Hardly.  Angry, however….” He trailed off as he turned to face you, his features as expressionless as always.  Your gaze travelled down from his face, and immediately you wished it hadn’t, for you had noticed the small switchblade that Levi was now brandishing, the hilt of the knife illuminated by the dim lighting that was spread throughout the small room.  You began to hastily back up, ruffling the cot’s blankets in the process and eventually colliding with the wall behind you.  Levi stalked over to the bed, placing the blade on a bedside table before turning to face you.

“Now, what shall I do with you,”  he thought aloud, causing your face to further contort into an expression of fear.  “You did try to run away, did you not?  There ought to be some...repercussions for your behavior.”

“Run away- I- Captain, I’m not your captive or somethi-”

You were caught off by a foreign sound, one that grated against your ears in a way that was definitely not entirely unintentional.  It was laughing.  Levi.. was laughing.  Bouts of hysterics sprung from his mouth, the sound anything but pleasant.  He sounded almost..manic.  You had never heard him laugh, let alone smile.  You honestly don’t think that anyone had.  This was not normal, and you had never been so afraid.

“You really don’t understand, do you!”  He said as he combed his fingers through his raven locks.  “I guess if you can’t figure it out for yourself, I’ll have to help you understand, hm?”  He said, his laughter dying down as he came upon the last phrase, his stormy eyes shifting over to the small switchblade that he had taken from the drawer moments before, your own e/c irises following suit.  They widened as you realized what he was gazing at, and you were thrown right back into your state of panic as you watched his murderous gaze linger on the blade.  

“Levi, please, I’ll do anything,” your eyes flickered back up to his face, pleading with him as the image of the knife flashed through your mind. “Anything, just please don’t hurt me, I promise, I wasn’t in the right state of mind, it was a mistake, if I could go back I woul-“  You were cut off yet again, but this time by a sudden pressure on your arms.  Before you could even comprehend what was happening, you were shoved on your back with your wrists pinned beside your head while Levi, who was now straddling your waist, had the upper ground.  

“Didn’t I tell you to only speak when prompted?”  He said, voice trembling with fury.  He leaned down over you, until his lips were within an inch of your ear.  “Didn’t I tell you to obey me?”  He said.  By now, you were shaking.  Not out of fear, no, but out of pure, unadulterated anger.  You knew that he would count your silence as submission, so you took a deep breath in, preparing to scream.

“Get the FUCK OFF OF ME YOU LITTLE FUCKER!”  You yelled out, your voice hoarse and venomous.  You struggled against his hold, managing to land a solid kick in his gut and push yourself out from underneath him.  You rolled off of the bed, hoping you had enough time to reach the door before he recovered from your blow.  However, your fight was in vain, as you soon found yourself once again suffering a kick to the back of your rib cage.  You collapsed on the ground, but still you were determined to not give up, and thus you began to claw your way towards the hopefully unlocked door of his dorm.

You heard him tut behind you before grabbing your ankle and dragging you away from your only hope of escape.  

“You know, if you keep pulling shit like this things are only going to get worse for you,”  he said as he threw you back onto the bed.  His voice made you sick.  You hated how he was treating you as though you were nothing more than an unruly child, a brat that just needed to be tamed.  “Now, stay down like a good girl, hmm?”  You let out a shaky breath and began to think about your situation. In the years that you had trained alongside your colleagues outside of the walls, you had always noticed how...different Levi seemed to be, at least compared to everyone else.  Despite keeping to himself a good amount, he was driven, more so than anyone else you had ever known.  He was determined to rise through the ranks, and oftentimes did whatever he could in order to do so, even if this meant putting himself way before others.  Nevertheless, you had looked up to Levi for a good chunk of your career.  A part of you still did.  Maybe that’s why you took such an interest in the young captain, and why he did the same for you.  You had, at one point, allowed yourself to be vulnerable around him.  At the time you felt like a burden, but he assured you that you were okay.  For a while there, you even felt something a little...deeper.. for the man, but now it seems those feelings have dissipated, just like all of the previous respect he held for you.  At least, that’s what you would have thought based on the way he treated you.  But the way he was occasionally gentle with you after he had his little tantrums, or how he would look out for you while out on the battlefield kept you coming back for more.  That was, until he had forced you to literally keep yourself captive.  That was when you had finally snapped and decided to put an end to the maddening thoughts that swarmed your head whenever you so much as saw Levi.  You needed to get away, you couldn’t bear to even see his face anymore.  It was horrible, yet..rousing.  Yes, that’s what it was.  Levi’s presence was maddening,  Intoxicating.  Addictive.  He was sadistic, yet careful.  Ruthless, but calm.  How could he act so vile yet be so alluring?

“Are you even listening to me?” He yelled out, pulling you out of your thoughts.  “Little slut, you never listen!”  Grabbing a fistful of your hair, he forced you onto your back, staring down at you, face full of contempt.  “Now, you’re going to stay put, alright?”  He said as he untangled his hand from his locks, instead moving to unbutton your shirt.  In what felt like less than a second he had removed your blouse and jacket, revealing your simple white bra.  Soon he had taken off your bottoms as well, leaving you fully exposed to the man in front of you.  In turn, he pulled off his own shirt, making sure to show off his well toned stomach to you.  He looked at you expectantly, eyebrows furrowing after a few seconds of staring at your cowering form.  “On your knees,”  he spat out in a gruff voice.  You swallowed, lip trembling ever so slightly as you lowered yourself onto the cold hardwood beneath you, already bruised knees slamming onto the floor as you fell.  Before you knew it, he had taken his throbbing member out of his pants.  He already appeared to be aroused, which only made you grimace ever so slightly.  The sick bastard was getting off on beating you, a realization which you wished you didn’t have to come to terms with.  He really was just a fucking psychopath.

As he drew closer to your face, angling himself so his dick was level with your mouth you began to lean away, turning your jaw slightly to the side as your disgust took over and you could no longer hide your feelings of abhorrance.  However, he only kept inching closer, pressing his cock up against your cheek.  That was the last straw, and you began to push as hard as you could against his thighs, attempting to free yourself from the disgusting man.  

“Stop it, get away from me, I hate you, and you’re dirty and fuc-”

Your protests were cut off by the feeling of a boot colliding with your face, causing you to fall over onto your back.  You clutched your nose, whimpering a bit as you pulled your hand away, seeing blood splattered across your fingers.  

“You think you can just talk back to me?  Huh, little brat?”  He grabbed your wrist, once again forcing you onto your knees in front of him.  Before you could even think about a possible retort, you felt his shaft against the walls of your mouth.  You began to choke as he shoved it further into your mouth, coughing erratically around his cock.  You tried to pull away, but before you could he had entangled a palm in your hair, pulling you towards him, resulting in you trying to stabilize yourself against the floor beneath your shaking body.  Levi thrust your head back and forth, forcing you to suck his now hard cock.  You tried to speak, to tell him to stop or to make him feel some sort of pity for you, but this proved to be impossible, as he was currently balls deep into your mouth.  Finally, after what felt like an eternity, he let go of your hair, allowing you to fall backwards onto your ass.  You groaned out in pain as you hit the floor, but, nevertheless, you were glad that your little session was over.  That is, until you saw him reach for the switchblade that had, up until now, been sitting on a small side table by his bed.  

“No, no, no Levi please!”  You pleaded with him once again, scrambling away from the man before you.  You brought your knees into your chest and your arms up, effectively shielding your face.  However, your defenses were quickly broken by Levi, and you were soon torn up yet again from your spot on the floor.  You were back on the bed in a second, your face squishing into the sheets as Levi kneeled on your back, completely eradicating any hope you had of escaping the ravenette.  He unclipped your bra, leaving your back completely bare, which only served to worry you more.  Suddenly, you felt a cool, tingly sensation brushing across your back.  It almost felt like…

Before you could even register what was happening, a searing pain spread across your form, one that you knew all too well.

“LEV-“ You screamed out, part of you trying to plead with him while the rest of you just wanted a way to alleviate the horrible feeling of a blade carving deep into your back.  But, before you could even hope to finish your sentence, you were silenced by a rough hand wrapping around your chin, forcing your mouth closed.

“No, since you can’t seem to get it through your head that you belong to ME, and that you must obey ME, I guess I’ll just have to help you along a bit, perhaps with something more permanent.”

You quivered at his words, a muffled scream escaping your mouth as you felt him stick the knife back into your delicate flesh.  

He continued on like this for a while, each of his stabs long, drawn out, and excessively precise.  After he was finally certain that the wounds were deep enough, that they would scar over nicely and not ever fade, he shifted himself back to survey his work.  Inscribed across your back was the word ‘Levi’, each of the characters in his name leaking blood across your frame.  He smiled, wider than he ever had, at the symbol of ownership, the brand which he had placed upon your body.  Now you were his, truly his.  Future lovers, family members, friends, anyone and everyone could see that you belonged to him, that he owned you.  

Your no longer muffled sobs echoed through the room, a pitiful display of weakness that he would usually frown upon.  However, he was feeling a little...strange as he heard your choked out whimpers.  Almost remorseful.  A person such as Levi should not feel pity for anyone, especially not someone who was lower than himself.  At least that was what he was taught when he was but a child.  Of course this was not the kindest approach to living, nor was it in any way empathetic, but look how far it got him!  He was an esteemed captain, someone who started out with nothing and rose through the ranks faster than anyone before him.  He shouldn’t change the very thing that made him successful over a little bit of moral turmoil, right?  But, somehow, seeing you sprawled out of the bed, blood splattered across your shoulders and tears staining your cheeks, he felt wrong.  Everything felt wrong.  Levi looked down at your weak form, inhaling sharply before turning towards the bathroom door that sat in the corner of his room.  He ruffled through his cabinets before his hand landed on some gauze, which he grasped onto and brought back into the room with him.  You were still lying on the bed, form completely vulnerable as he sat down next to you, causing the mattress to sink a bit.  He unwrapped some of the gauze, furrowing his brows and eyeing your injuries as he did so.  Taking another breath, he began to wrap the bandages gingerly around your frame, watching as you flinched at his touch.  After he was satisfied with the way in which he had dressed your wounds, he carefully flipped you onto your back once more, staring into your dilated pupils with such an intensity that you feared he was going to hurt you more than he already had.  However, after a few seconds of searching your face, he only leaned down over you, planting a tender kiss against your plush lips.  

“Thank you,” He murmured, the movement sending vibrations through your lips.  You closed your eyes, melting into the kiss just a little bit more.  You knew that you should probably resist, that you should push him away and get as far away from the man as you could, but you just- you couldn’t.  He was broken, it was obvious.  What kind of person would you be if you left someone who needed help behind?  Although he was a bit selfish, and even sadistic at times, Levi had always looked after those who were ranked lower than him, even going so far as to shield them from serious harm when fighting.  And the way he would let his touches linger on you a bit, making sure to make some sort of contact with you whenever possible was...sweet, to you at least.  These little reaffirmations, his little spouts of care were enough to make you stay.  That combined with the fact that you really weren’t sure what he would do if you ever tried to leave.  But that’s the way some relationships were, right?  You’ve got the good, and the bad, and the ugly.  Some people were just more prone to the last two things, right?  You two were fine.  It was normal for couples to fight, if one could even consider you and the short man to be a couple.  Sure your relationship could be seen as a little more...unconventional to other people, but he was satisfied, and you were fine.  

After all, love was supposed to be different for everyone, right?