#jongin angst

[eomayas]

confessions • kji (pt.2)

pairing: jongin x f!reader, fwb2l. sequel to ‘d appointment’.

genre: fluff & angst

synopsis: jealousy leads to a life changing confession (happy ending!!)

warnings: angst, swearing, jealousy

a/n: lol nobody asked for this but i really wanted to write this after yesterday! so enjoy 😋

“jongin, i really gotta go,” you giggle, kissing him again. he holds onto your waist tighter, grumbling about how he doesn’t want you to go. “really, nini, i have to leave.” you say, pulling out of his grasp and finding your clothes around his room.

you’ve seen a lot more of him recently, and your relationship has changed. he started asking you over to hang out, taking you out for food, running errands with you. you didn’t know what to think of your relationship anymore, and could barely tell your friends because none of them liked to hear about jongin anyway. he had a bit of a reputation for being a womanizer and a player, but you didn’t get that with him. as far as you knew, you were the only person who’s been in his bed for the last two months.

you really dont know what to call your relationship—you never talk about it with him. you refer to him as a friend when people ask about him, but nothing more. but you know that youre deeper than friends, you pretend not to see it in his eyes when you’re lying on his chest at night, pretend not to feel it in your stomach when he leans over his middle console and kisses you when he picks you up from your house. you pretend none of those feelings exist, so you can keep your peace.

“where do you have to go anyway?” he asks as you hook your bra back on.

“uh, just meeting a friend,” you say, not ready to admit the truth that the friend is a man and he’s not really a friend. your friend sana set you up with a guy she knows, doyoung, and you’ve been hanging out for awhile. of course, in between you and jongins time together.

jongin frowns at you and your hesitation. “who?” he presses as you pull on your shirt. you let out a breath and fix your hair, stalling as you avoid his question.

“chaewon,” you lie, not really sure why. you’re not dating, it shouldn’t be a problem. but with the way you’ve been hanging out recently, it feels like it could cause a rift—maybe you’re imagining it, though, and he doesn’t actually care. maybe your feelings are one sided.

“what are you guys gonna do?” he asks. you shrug and grab your phone off of his nightstand, a text from doyoung on the screen.

doyoung: can’t wait to see you!

you bite back a smile and jongin notices, his chest bubbling with an emotion he can’t quite place. anger? no, not quite. envy? jealously, maybe? can’t be—you’re not his. but it sure does feel like it sometimes.

you tap back a response, your acrylics accentuating your every keyboard stroke.

y/n: see you soon :)

“alright, i’ll see you later?” you say, leaning over to kiss him. it’s stiff, and awkward, but neither of you say anything. he doesn’t offer to walk you out like he always does, and you pretend it doesn’t bother you.

jongin and you don’t talk for three days, and in those three days, you occupy yourself with doyoung when you’re not at work or with your friends. doyoung is kind, he’s sweet and makes you laugh. he listens. he’s perfectly safe—your friends like him, and they’re all going to meet him tonight at a get together.

you sigh as you look at your phone, your message going unanswered. you invited jongin too, just to be nice since a few of his friends are going to be there. you haven’t spent anytime around each others friends, though you know a couple because that’s how you met each other.

sana nudges you. “doyoung is here,” you flip your phone over as her eyes gaze down for a split second. you look up and see him walk through the door, two of his friends behind him. you stand up from your spot on the couch and walk over to him, adjusting your skirt. doyoungs eyes scan the room and when they land on you, he gives you the smile that you’ve grown fond of.

“hey!” you say, giving him a hug. you press a quick kiss on his cheek and pull back, his hand sliding to the small of your back.

“hey! i hope you don’t mind thst i brought some friends—this is baejin and that’s sungwoon,” he says, introducing you to his friends. you smile and shake their hands. “is sana here?” he asks, leaning close to you. you nod, and get the overwhelming feeling that he’s about to kiss you, so you quickly grab his arm and lead him over to your group of friends.

sana jumps up when she sees him and gives him a hug, your three friends, yujin, chaewon, and bona following suit.

the five of you settle on the couch, doyoung on the end and you sandwiched between him and sana. he keeps an arm wrapped around your waist the entire time, barely moving it even when you shift. you don’t mind his touch or the weight of his arm—it feels nice.

you let yourself sneak a glance at your phone, hoping to see if he responded—a ‘no’ would even be fine—but there’s nothing new. you set your phone face down in your lap, and catch sanas eye when you look back up. you furrow your brow at her and she shakes her head. you ignore her and lean back against doyoung, his arm moving to wrap around your shoulder. you catch his dangling hand in yours, and interlock your fingers.

“you two are so cute, it’s making me sick,” yujin says. you and doyoung only giggle, and when you glance at sana, she’s side eyeing you behind her red solo cup.

sanas eyes drift around the room, but you ignore her until she steps on your foot, not enough to hurt but enough to get your attention. you glance at her again, and she shoots her eyes to the door, and dread immediately fills your stomach.

jongin walks through the door, many people in the party immediately greeting him. you check your phone again and see that he still never responded, which annoys you. if you had a heads up that he was showing up, you would have never sat here cuddled up with doyoung.

you try to ignore the greetings to jongin, but they’re obnoxious and louder than the music playing. “ugh, sehun is so irritating,” chaewon grumbles, but she keeps her eyes on the tall boy talking to jongin. they have some weird tension going on.

“y/n, im gonna go find baejin really quick, do you want to come?” doyoung asks. you shake your head and tell him that you’ll be here, and he leaves but not before pressing a kiss to your cheek.

you smile, but it falters when sana scoffs. “what?” you ask, annoyed with how she’s been treating you tonight.

“don’t lead him on, please. i know you invited jongin, and maybe you want two boyfriends, but doyoung is a good guy. leave him out of it,” she says, her voice serious.

you drop your mouth open to reply, but can’t find the words. “your boyfriends coming over,” she mutter, taking another swig of her drink. you glance over to see jongin walking towards you.

“he’s not my boyfriend,” you manage, standing up to greet him. you reach in for a hug, and he reciprocates, his hands too low on your back for it to be friendly. “i didn’t know you were coming.” you say, pulling away from him.

jongin keeps his hands on you, ignoring the gawking from your friends. “i said i might,” he shrugs and you roll your eyes. “why, you wanted more time to hide your little boyfriend?” he asks. with that, you scoff and pull away from him, already done with the entire night.

“i don’t have a boyfriend, so both of you can stop,” you say to jongin and sana, crossing your arms over your chest. “if you came here to bother me, you can just leave.” you say, staring up at him.

“i came to keep you company, but i see you already have some,” he says, mirroring your stance. you get ready to reply, but see doyoung coming up behind the two of you with baejin in tow, and get a wave of guilt, dread, and anxiety at the prospect of the two of them interacting. this can’t be my life, you think.

doyoung approaches you, a smile on his face until he sees your stance, and then sweeps his eyes over to jongin. doyoungs face falls at the obvious tension, and jongin sizes him up. “are you alright?” he asks you, a hand on your arm. you nod and he looks over at jongin and back at you. “do you two know each other?” he asks.

know is putting it lightly.

before you can respond, jongin interjects. “i’m jongin,” he holds his hand out to shake, and it takes everything in you to not push his hand away.

doyoung shakes his hand, his face not giving way to how he really feels. “we’re friends,” you offer once they drop hands. friends is putting it lightly, too lightly that it’s almost untrue.

jongin scoffs at that. “if that’s what you want to call it, sure we are,” you glare at him and doyoung shifts awkwardly beside you, unsure of what to say. “surely she’s mentioned me. because she’s never mentioned you.” he adds, making you blood boil.

“jongin, stop!” you say, your eyes widening. you look back over at doyoung who nods his head once, twice. “doyoung, just ignore him, please?” you say, reaching out to grab his hand, but he pulls away. you feel helpless as he moves past you to talk to sana, and you hear him tell her that he’s gonna head out. you feel like shit as you try to get him to talk to you, but again he dodges you.

“y/n, i dont want to be apart of this. maybe when you figure… whatever this is out, you can call me. but i don’t want any of this,” he waves vaguely between you and jongin, and all you can do is stand there pathetically as he walks away.

“yeah, what he said,” jongin says, shaking his head, and all you see is red. how dare he try to blow you off, when he is the cause of this entire mess. if he just kept his mouth shut, doyoung would still be here and you’d be enjoying your night.

you stomp after jongin as he walks off, grabbing ahold of his shirt, pulling him towards the direction of the kitchen. “quit it,” he says, pulling out of your grasp.

“you don’t get to leave! what the hell is your problem?” you ask, putting your hands on your hips. a few people in the kitchen glance at you and jongin, and he sighs and pulls you out to the backyard where it’s empty. “what is wrong with you?”

“i didnt do anything,” he says and you bark out a laugh.

“you don’t talk to me for days for god knows why, you don’t respond to my text, and the. you basically show up unannounced? and then you ruin a good thing for me? what is wrong with you?” you could cry from frustration, but you don’t. you manage to keep the tears at bay as you stare at the man across from you.

jongin doesn’t say anything, just leans against the stair railing with his arms crossed over his chest, and looks away from you. you blink at him, waiting for him to say something but he doesn’t. “well?” you say, scoffing.

he shakes his head. “you just don’t get it,” he mumbles.

“what?”

“you really don’t see it, y/n? it’s not obvious?” he asks, finally looking you in the eye. you shrink under his gaze, your eyes darting around the backyard.

“what are you talking about, jongin?” you ask, confusion evident in your voice. he runs a hand through his hair frustratedly and drops his hands at his sides. you cross your arms over your abdomen and stare at him, waiting for him to just admit whatever he’s holding back.

“you don’t feel a change between us? really?” he asks, and for a second the air leaves your lungs. he can’t be asking you this, because then what you’ve been imagining is actually true, therefore real. and now you have to confront it.

“i guess,” you say vaguely, your voice small. he runs his hands through his hair like he always does when he’s stressed or anxious—one thing you picked up on after seeing him more often. “what are you trying to say, jongin?” you sigh, just wanting to hear the words coming from his mouth. you need that confession, or else you think you’ll go crazy if you lose two men you like on the same night.

“i’m trying to say that i can’t stop thinking about you, that i think about you every second you’re not with me. that when i have to go somewhere, i call you because i’d rather go—i don’t fucking know, to the store—with you, over anybody else. and i came here tonight, even though i know your friends don’t fucking like me, because i wanted to see you. and i know you’re upset that i made your little boyfriend leave, but i don’t really care, okay? i can’t stand to see you with somebody else, not when you kiss me the way you do, or say my name,” he rambles, wiping his mouth before starting up again. you can only stare at him, stunned. you’ve gotten more than you were really asking for, and he’s not even done. “and i dont only mean when we have sex, okay? i know that’s how we started, but if you couldn’t tell, i don’t only want to do that with you. i want something more with you. if you don’t, fine. but i won’t buy it, because you chased after me, and not him.” jongin catches his breath, shocked that he just blurted all of this out. it’s been buried deep in his brain, his heart, for awhile now. he hasn’t been able to get you out of his head for weeks, and gets giddy when he sees your name pop up on his phone. he’s been silently losing his mind about you, and you haven’t even noticed.

“why didn’t you say anything before?” you ask pathetically, walking over to him.

he lets out a laugh that almost sounds like a cry. “because if you didn’t feel the same way, and we stopped hanging out, i would seriously die,” he says, grabbing your hands. you smile at his words. “i’m going crazy here, y/n.” jongin sighs, looking down at you and bringing your conjoined hands up to his chest.

you faintly feel his fast heartbeat and nearly coo. he’s so endearing, and the way he’s looking at you with his big, brown eyes is enough to bring you to your knees. “jongin, i-“ you cut yourself off to laugh, the next words leaving your mouth about to be so embarrassing. “i really like you, and i don’t know how you couldn’t tell. i mean, every time you said anything, i giggled like a schoolgirl.” you say, pressing your knuckles into his sternum.

“i thought you just wanted to fuck.”

“well, yes,” you blush, looking up at him. “but i really fucking liked—like—you,” you say, letting out a breath.

“are we doing this? i mean, for real?” he asks, dropping your interlocked hands out to the sides. you shrug.

“we could try,” you say, and he smiles, his face lighting up in a way that makes your heart skip a beat and your stomach flip.

and you two really were going to try, the opinions of your friends be damned. if there was a general consensus, it’s that you’d both go insane for the others love, and that’s enough.

[synthetickitsune]

X-EXO!Kai (EXO) | Chase angst | 0.7k | gn!reader

You fucked up. Big time. You knew once you met his eyes through the window that you've lost the game. And your life, perhaps, too. 

You realize it’s pointless but you can't stop the frantic packing. On your wobbly knees, in need of supporting yourself on the table, against the wall with every other step, but you still try to get shit done. 

Maybe he'll have a meltdown. It wouldn't be the first time. Maybe he'll leave you out of this one. You did tell him you don't like pathetic guys. 

There's no time to breathe, no time to think. Honestly you're not even sure what you're throwing into your bag, if it's useful or not, probably not - all the important stuff is already with your friend but you don't want to endanger them more than you've done already. You finally stop to look over the mess that is your room, sight unfocused, and realize it’s hopeless. And that's before you see him. So he’s caught up with you already. 

Kāi is standing at the opposite side of the room. His chest is heaving, his eyes are wild and clouded by anger but you see the tears welled up in them. You have no sympathy for the monster that makes the blood in your veins turn into ice with terror. You can't move, but you can't look at him either. He growls once he sees you averting your gaze and he sounds like anything but a human being.

So you look up to see him glaring at you but then you blink and he's gone. You blink again and suddenly all you see is black and your body hurts. The back of your head is pounding and he's straddling you, looking down on you while strangling you. You can’t breathe. His hands are tight around your throat, cutting off your oxygen entirely. 

"You think you can run away from me?" he snarls, leaning his weight on your throat and you can't see, you can barely hear. You think he might crush your windpipe if he doesn’t stop. "All I ever wanted was you."

"Did you think they could protect you? Did you think they'd make you happy?" when he gets no response, safe for weak whimpers, he lets go. He leans back, hands on his thighs on you shake and writhe under him, desperately gulping down air. You look up at him and you both have tears streaming down your cheeks.

"How could you leave me?” he accuses. You didn't - he didn't let you. "How could you ignore me?" You literally couldn't - he would always force his way back into your life. Even now - now when he's literally sitting on top of you and you're too weak to move, when you try to face away from him he harshly grabs your jaw and turns your head back to face him. It hurts. You feel like the bone is going to crack.

"Look at me," Kāi orders but it sounds just like a plea, "You're mine. Why do you keep running away?" You don’t because you can’t. And you won’t be. 

Will you? 

Thoughts are running through your head. Survival instinct kicks in. You're already helpless and under him. What are the chances he's gonna let you go now that you almost - almost - got away from him? You're not naive enough to think he's gonna get up, scold you, and leave. 

You wanna live. 

You don't want him to hurt you. And he hasn't before. Maybe it'd be safer to give in. He treated you nicely before all this... 

You whine, quietly, begging with your eyes. He sighs, but his hand slides up to cup your cheek. You lean into his touch hesitantly. This time there are no repercussions for closing your eyes. 

"See? Doesn't this feel good?" you hear the smile in his voice. It doesn't. It makes you sick and it makes you hate yourself for betraying yourself. But you wanna live. You don't wanna be hurt. You startle when he leans his forehead against yours. 

"Let's go home."

It starts sinking in when he lifts you up and carries you bridal style. Is it worth it? Nothing ever sounded more like a death sentence. You will live. But at what price? 

Is it worth it?

You know it's not, but you can't bring yourself to long for death nonetheless.

[proudahgase-exol]

Tender Love 💗

Jongin x reader

Summary: Jongin feels unloved and out of place, observing how friends and strangers are treated by their lovers, but feels unloved when with his S/O, leading to sadness and insecurity.

What’s Tender love? Tender love is all part of the same love you feel for someone, it's just showing it in a more openly positive way such as a cuddle or encouragement when they are feeling down or need reassurance.

Jongin pov:

 

Today I got invited to dinner at Junmyeon’s place. All the guys were there, and so their significance was another. It was sweet to see them all in love and together as a family.

 

On the other hand, I was alone; my partner was busy, and I had to show up to dinner alone. I understand that they had something else to do, and it usually didn’t bother me, but lately I can’t help but feel lonely, especially in places like this where everyone is with their loved ones and I’m not.

 

I know we have been dating for a year now, and at first I thought I was okay with how y/n acted. I knew they didn’t like to show too much affection, and it was fine with me at first. That is, until I started to feel jealous and like y/n didn’t actually love me.

 

The whole time I was at Junmyeon Hyung’s place, I tried not to show how upset and jealous I was. I didn’t want to ruin the mood for anyone, so I just stayed quiet.

 

I was so happy, but at the same time, I envy the other guys relationships. I wish I had a relationship like Kyungsoo and his girlfriend. I love how sweet and caring she was to Kyung, and that’s what I wanted my y/n to be with me.

 

When I got to Y/N’s place, I knew they were in the shower. I could hear the water running, so I went to the couch, sat down, and waited till they got out.

 

Well, I was waiting for you. I started to think of all the times I felt like they didn’t love me or cared about me. I really hoped they loved me, but my thoughts were making me think they didn't. I thought if I should say something about my feelings, but I didn’t have the courage to say anything.

 

Y/n pov

 

After I got out of the shower and got dressed, I heard a noise coming from the living room, and I knew Jongin had just gotten back from dinner with his bandmates, so I made my way to him.

 

When I got closer to the living room, I saw Jongin sitting and taking a deep breath with a shaky sigh, and I knew there was something upsetting him.

 

So after standing in the doorway of the living room and looking at his back, I decided to talk to him.

 

When I got closer, I clearly cut my throat so he could see me and walk around the couch to sit next to him.

 

“Hey Jongin, what’s wrong? You seem upset?” I asked in a soft voice, “What’s wrong? You can talk to me; you know that, right?”

 

“Can I? Can I actually talk to you, and would you even care about what I have to say or about my feelings?” he replied in a harsh tone.

 

“Of course you can talk to me, baby. What makes you think I don’t care about what you say that?” I was confused and hurt.

 

“I don’t know, how about you tell me? Tell me why you don’t actually love me; tell me how you don’t want to hold me or kiss me; you don’t even want to spend time with me,” he said, raising his voice.

 

“Where is this coming from? When have I made you feel like that?” I replied

 

“All the fucking time, I feel like you don’t even want to date me. Since we started dating almost a year ago, I felt jealous of my friends relationships, and I even feel jealous seeing strangers with their boys or girls. I just wish we could be like them and show others that we are together and that we love each other,” he said, upset.

 

“Why have you never said anything? Why didn’t you tell me you were feeling insecure and jealous? Why didn’t you come to me and tell me how you feel?" I was upset as well.

 

“Because I didn’t know if you’d care,” he replied with a sigh.

 

“Baby, do you know how much I want to do all that, but there’s something in my past that keeps me from doing so?” I said, embarrassed.

 

“What do you mean by that?” He asked, confused.

 

“Well, a few years before I met you, I had this boyfriend who treated me badly. He hated when I tagged along with him and his friends. He hated when I tried to cuddle him or even hug him. He just hated everything that had to do with physical affection. So as time went on, he made me believe that showing my feelings for the ones I love was bad. That’s why I never did all those things in fear that you would hate them as well. I know it sounds stupid, but he was a really bad person.” I really let the tears fall.

 

“Oh Jagi, why didn’t you tell me that sooner? Now everything makes sense,” he replied as he pulled me closer to him.

 

“Jongin I do love you. I love you so much that it scares me to lose you. You don’t know how much I wanted to hug you in public or in front of your friends, but I was just scared. I’m so sorry for making you feel like I didn’t care,” I said, looking up at him.

 

"Jagi, it’s okay. Just promise me that you won’t hold back your feelings. If you want a hug, you can hug me. If you need reassurance, I’ll be here. All I want is to feel your love and affection because I love you so much that it hurts not to receive your love,” he said, kissing the top of my head.

 

“Same for you, Nini. I want you to tell me how you feel. If you think that I’m not giving you enough love or attention, don’t hesitate to let me  know." I replied back.

 

 

“From now on, I will make sure to do some. Now let’s go to bed and have a long cuddle session, and tomorrow we can go out for breakfast and then do whatever you’ll like,” he said as he got up from the couch and pulled me up with him.

 

"Yeah, maybe we can invite the boys over for dinner and play some games,” I asked.

 

“Yes, we can have a game competition between couples and see which one is the best,” he replied, excited.

 

As we walked to my bedroom, I couldn’t help but admire him. He looked happy talking about all the couple stuff he wanted to do. He looks so excited now that he finally got what he wanted.

 

He wanted to be reassured; he wanted to be told that I love him. It might have taken us a bit longer, but now we are both happy and no longer feeling trapped or anxious.

(This was trash I know but I like of love it 😅)

[pascaloverx]

FELLINGS — EXO KAI

CHAPTER THREE (+18)

Summary: You and Jongin live wanting what you two can't have. For example, he wants to win over your best friend and you want him.

Warnings: This fanfic will describe some hot romantic moments and use of inappropriate language. In the future there may be both smut and moderate use of violence. Readers are warned. This fanfic will feature some members of EXO as characters but they are not part of a Kpop group in this scenario. This chapter has scenes for adults, minors should not interact.

CHAPTER TWO FINAL CHAPTER

Nearly two weeks later, you and Kai barely talk. It would be a lie to say it's been easy. God, this idiot was more a part of your life than you realized. But this whole situation has been awful. Especially because every day he tries to convince you not to quit the job, not to give up on him. Every day your desk with a bouquet of flowers and a note asking you to reconsider. One of the perks of being Kim Jongin's secretary was that you knew exactly where he would be. Which means avoiding him was easy. And your notice period is almost over anyway, so now it's just a matter of enduring a little longer. Even though it's your last week of work, you're still one of the last ones to leave the building. Like today. Kim Jongin spent the day in meetings outside the company, so you had to handle several things. And now you're standing in front of the elevator, waiting to go home. Until the elevator doors open, and you come face to face with him. Your boss and ex-best friend, the one who recently discovered your involuntary crush on him.

"I think I'll take the stairs." You say, stepping away from the elevator door, but Jongin grabs your arm, and you look at him.

"Can we talk?" Jongin asks, and before you know it, you're already inside the damn elevator. You glare at Jongin angrily, frustrated that you can't avoid him anymore.

"You never struck me as the type of guy who doesn't understand signals. Me avoiding you and not responding to your ridiculous notes accompanied by flowers worth more than my entire salary wasn't enough?" You reply angrily, watching the floors pass by and avoiding looking at Jongin in every way possible.

"And you never struck me as such a passionate person. I mean, you throw at me the fact that you love me and that what Luna and I are doing is stupid, and you don't even give me a chance to try something different." Jongin responds, trying to approach you. You know he wants you to look at him.

"Since I'm basically already fired, I'll tell you something. You think everyone has to give you a chance because you're handsome and rich, but that's not how the world works. You got me into a ridiculous situation, and now you must be feeling guilty. But that changes nothing. The best thing we can do is to get out of each other's lives." You basically overflow with relief after finishing saying everything you think. To the point that you look at Jongin to see his reaction. He seems a bit surprised, and then, as you both lock eyes, the elevator experiences a mechanical failure. The lights go out, and you hear a loud noise.

"Are you okay?" Jongin asks immediately as you stare into the darkness inside the elevator. Before you can respond, the lights inside the elevator come on.

"I'm okay, but you have a cut on your head. Are you feeling alright?" You ask, touching near the small cut on Jongin's head. He mutters a curse when you touch him, and you feel sorry for him.

"Couldn't be better. You're looking at me again." Jongin says, smiling mischievously. You glare at him, disapproving of what he said. What if he's got more than just a cut on his head?

"I'll try to call for emergency assistance. Make sure you don't do anything risky while I make the call." You say, knowing he likes to play the hero sometimes. Unfortunately for both of you, your phone signal isn't working. It's as if fate wants you two to be stuck together. You look at Jongin and mention that he's observing you. He also tries to call for emergency assistance but without success. However, he seems more resigned to the situation than you are.

"I guess this time, you won't be able to escape spending some time with me, sweetheart." Jongin says, taking off his jacket and adjusting his turtleneck shirt in the most sensual way he can. You shake your head, trying to shake off these thoughts.

"And why does it seem like I'm the only one not wanting this to happen? You should be trying your hardest to get out of here, Kim Jongin." You say seriously, settling down beside Jongin, who is leaning against the elevator.

"Maybe it's because for the past two weeks, all I wanted was to be alone with you. And in a rather radical way, that's what's happening." Jongin says, looking at you. You feel embarrassed and shy away from his gaze.

"Why did you want that so badly?" You ask, smiling slightly. Perhaps now you're compelled to have a heart-to-heart conversation with Jongin.

"You told me you loved me. And then, without giving me time to process that, you started pulling away from my life. I spent years seeing you every day. I missed you. Damn it, I even missed your scent. The truth is, being without you is driving me crazy." Jongin says, looking you in the eyes, as if he wants you to see the truth. To see that he's being sincere.

"Kim Jongin, you only miss me because I make your life easier. It's not quite genuine longing." You respond, trying not to feel too affected by what he said. But it does affect you; he manages to ignite a very powerful feeling within you with just a few words.

"That's our biggest problem here. You don't believe me. But you know what, screw it. I love you. Not in the way you love me, but I do. And you matter to me, whether you like it or not." Kai says as he watches you. You're speechless, just looking at him and him looking back at you. Until your eyes land on Kai's lips, and you feel like if you don't do something now, you'll explode. So you push Kai against the elevator and kiss him. An uncontrollable kiss. You didn't even know you could kiss someone with such intensity. The intensity becomes so great that you have to lean on the elevator to keep your balance. Kim Jongin holds you, lifting you up and making you tie your legs to the around him. The kiss doesn't stop, it's almost as if you're thirsty for each other. You lift his shirt and seconds later he's shirtless. He then pulls down your panties. There's a lot of rush, so you barely notice when Kai puts a condom on his dick. But seconds later, he slowly approaches you with his pants open and inserts his dick into you. You let out a drawn out moan as you feel him slowly thrust into you. You nibble on his neck, bringing him closer to you. You're horny so you start to help Jongin with the movements, getting up and down on his lap. He holds the hem of your dress up and presses your ass with his hands. You kiss him again. And again. His lips taste like chocolate. A few more thrusts and you cum. Almost in sync. He gives you a kiss on the mouth as if to end it. You look at him noticing that you guys actually had sex. Before any of you could say anything, like magic, the elevator started working again.

[kjmcotton]

✧*ૂ༄bee’s masterlist

PN: ❀ fluff ; ☾ angst ; ♢ sad ; ✩ for adults ; ♤ smut ; ♡ request

For any request ,please,check the guideline

✧ EXO

�� Kim Junmyeon

December on the couch ♤

✧ Byun Baekhyun

Metanoia ✩ ♡

Commitment issues ☾ ♡

Unexpected gift ❀ ♡

✧ Park Chanyeol

What we did in the library ♤

A good action can change your life ❀ ♡

✧ Kim Jongdae

coming soon…

✧ Kim Minseok

coming soon…

✧ Kim Jongin

coming soon…

✧ Oh Sehun

Have a soft spot for me ❀♡

✧ Zhang Yixing

Ray of sunshine,the clouds are vanishing ❀ ♡

✧ D.O. Kyungsoo

coming soon…

✧ Specials

Halloween advent calendar🎃

[peachesvanilla]

Right where you left me

summary: it's been two years since you left Jongin at the altar. When he walked in you don't know what to do with your buried feelings coming alive.

pairing: Jongin x reader

genre: angst, childhood sweethearts to exes, bakery au, yearning

word count: 3k (not sure this is a drabble anymore)

a/n: i am finally done with this. I have written this twice, was not feeling the core emotions i wanted to feel while reading the first version. I know the request was childhood sweethearts, and I was going to write a short maybe little reminiscing themed drabble until I had that dream. I am not quite sure I articulated the feelings that well but I did give my best. Hope you like it!

Your fingers fly across the screen punching in the customer’s order. The next door neighbor, a 60 year old woman, pushes her spectacles up her nose, the glare visible behind her huge glasses. Your neck heats up in fear, she is gonna talk about it. You hope she doesn’t, it's been so long someone talked about that day that it made me believe it became history, one with the story behind the formation of this hometown. 

The hometown, now covered in the snow from the snowstorm, unable to walk properly until you are knee deep in the snow. The roads are empty, and the chances of people visiting the bakery is slim. This was the reason you accepted to look after the bakery, when mom asked. And also it's her first request in two years. 

“It’s 17 dollars.” You slid the to-go box to her. 

Her hands are slowly taking the notes out of her wallet, she counts through the dollar bills as you rearrange the pens in the pen holder making sure everything is aligned cap up. 

“You know I loved you, right?”

The pen holder slips through your hand falling on the ground with a loud clatter. Loved. Past tense. You give a feeble nod ducking down to gather the pens. 

“I have known you two since your childhood.” She continues, “he didn’t deserve it. Whatever or whoever was the reason behind your leaving, he didn’t deserve it.” 

You remain rooted in your place not wanting to face her or anyone. Hoping she goes away and leaves you alone. 

“And you have the audacity to come now.” The sudden influx of her anger made you wonder if she is thinking about that day, “the kid is finally happy. Smiling. The color in his face is slowly coming back.” She slams the counter, “why do you always ruin things?”

Your heart cracks further, the pain aching the entirety of my chest. You fist your t-shirt near your heart, sucking in air through your mouth. Why is it so hard to breathe? 

“Leave before he knows.” The chimes hanging on the door rings upon her exit, leaving me alone in the coldest afternoon. 

The suffering comes back, the long nights you spent curled upon the bed, the wet pillows, and the lonely hums of the city traffic infiltrating my room back in Seoul. No messages or calls from either your family or friends. Why would they even when you destroyed everything with your own hands? 

When you left everyone behind and made a run for your life. When your life is what you left behind. By the time you realized it, it was too late. And you didn’t have the guts to show up again. 

You pull out your phone, your hands shaking as you open the photos app. You click on the folder, the secret one you have locked up for so long. His face fills up the screen. His cozy smile, warm brown eyes, and the slight dimple on his cheek showing up as he kisses on your cheek posing for the camera. Jongin. 

Tears fall on the phone screen. You miss him. Miss him so much that it hurts. If only you could go back in time and rectify it, if only you could tell your younger self that it was going to be okay, it was okay to get married. It was okay to live under his love. And that if you walked away you wouldn’t find his love anywhere, no one comes near him. And no one is Jongin. And no one can love like him.

This is your fault. This is your doing. 

He moved on. He is happy now. You are happy that he is happy, yet it still stings. He hates you now, doesn’t he? Jongin. 

The chimes ring again, bringing you out of your reverie. Once you lock your phone, and wipe your tears, you stand up with a customer-friendly smile. 

“Welcome to–,” your words falter seeing him walk in, “—gom bakery..”

He freezes at the entrance, the cold air slipping through the open door causing a shiver run down your spine. 

He is tucked in warmly for winter, long coat dwarfing him, muffler around his neck, covering half of his face. His sharp brown eyes widen, staring back at you. The warmth you remember seeing during the long nights you spent in his arms is nowhere seen. The initial surprise fades away, mirth taking over his features. 

“It's cold, Jongin,” the girl on his left arm tugs him in by his coat sleeve. “Ugh, winters are the worst.”

Your heart squeezes in your chest. He did move on. He is happy with another girl. Tears brim up your eyes threatening to fall, and you really don’t want to cry in front of him. That chapter is over, fifteen years of love ended two years ago the minute you left him standing at the altar.

The girl tugs his coat again asking for his attention, he gives her by jerking his face towards her. She gently pats on his arm watching his crestfallen expression, “we can go back home.” 

You clasp your hands behind you, pricking on your thumb trying to numb the blinding pain in your chest with physical pain. 

He shakes his head, “I’m fine.” He holds her chin, pressing a kiss on her forehead, his muffler still covering his lips. 

You feel a trickle of liquid flowing through the ends of your thumb, grabbing a tissue and wrapping it around your bleeding thumb. You can’t do it, you can’t take it in. Are they married? Did he finally find the one who isn’t a scaredy cat and is courageous enough? 

Does he hate you with his life? Does he hate seeing you now? How can you live knowing the only man you loved, love, hates to even see you? 

“We will be quick.” She intertwines her hand with his, leading him to the counter. That should have been you. She gives a tight smile, she knows you, her eyes scanning the display. 

You fumble the red stained tissue in your hands, think of  something else, anything, the wind, the weather. The loneliness of your life roars back. God, it’s miserable. You feel like falling apart right here. 

“Excuse me,” his girl taps on the counter gently. 

“I’m sorry.” You are glad your tears aren’t falling down for once. “Are you ready to order?” 

She nods, pointing at two different cupcakes and a croissant. 

“Anything else?” 

“No.”

You nod, creating the bill, “it’s 18.”

She taps her phone on the reader. Your eyes snatch on the empty ring finger. Relief floods through your system. You sneak a glance at Jongin to find him staring back at you, studying. His eyes slowly roaming across your face reminding you of the time when you came back from a week long trip and he didn’t let you go an entire day from him. 

Your lips part as you try to breathe in, unable to look away. He tilts his head to the side, his eyes turning red. Look away. You scold yourself. 

You print the bill and rush to get their order. “To go?” 

“Yes please.” 

You neatly put the cupcakes in the to go box, wrapping it close. 

“We didn’t order the blueberry cupcake.” She informs you of the third cupcake in the box. 

You freeze in your place, watching the extra piece. Blueberry cupcake. His favourite. Fuck. You laugh nervously, “on house.” Your cheeks burn in embarrassment. What were you thinking? 

You take a quick glance at him just the way his girl does. His eyes are stuck somewhere else, his expression like a thunderstruck him. You follow his gaze, looking down your shirt. 

Fuck. Fuck.

You duck down immediately, dropping the pen holders on purpose. You tuck in the chain hanging low around your neck, the ring dancing on your shaky fingertips. The proposal ring. 

You grimace at your clumsiness. How can you let him see this? When you lied about falling in love with someone else. Your cover blew up. Fuck. 

Schooling your emotions, you stand up, now quickly getting the croissant so that he can leave. 

“I didn’t see you around,” the girl asks you, you can read the discomfort clearly on her face. 

Who would be happy to meet the ex of their boyfriend? 

“I’m visiting.” You reply curtly. “Here you go. Thank you for visiting.” 

She smiles, looking at him watching him stay rooted in his place. The muffler comes off his face, his plump pink lips pressed in a thin line as he glowers at you. 

Did he catch your lie? You beg he didn’t. You on purpose let him, or more like everyone in the town, know you moved on from him a year later. That you found someone. When you wanted him to move on, you didn’t deserve him. You couldn’t see him wasting his life away. 

“Bye.” You turn away, disappearing into the kitchen. Please Jongin, leave. 

After a few minutes you hear the chimes ringing. You heave a sigh, you weren’t sure you could look at him for one more second. Days spent telling yourself you have moved on, and Jongin is left far behind in your life. All the years you spent with him are a bittersweet memory, the one you wanna forget so it can ease the pain. But in the middle of the night you crawl to the discarded phone on the floor, opening his images, sobbing to the love that would have been the love of your life if only you weren’t ambitious. If only you didn’t want different things from life. 

You are glad your lie worked, he found someone else. Someone who could love him the way he deserves, even if that someone wasn’t you. It was fine, you could try to live with that. At least one of you is happy. 

—

No matter how much you pacified yourself you couldn’t forget them. Does he like her more than you? Does she know he likes to cuddle? Likes when you pat his head after a long day? And he can’t eat anything bitter? He hates seeing women cry? He hates keeping secrets, especially the ones kept from him even if it's a surprise? He hates having his bed empty when woke up. And his hands find yours in the middle of night tugging you in his arms. 

You tumble across the bed hoping these thoughts go away. The comparison, the analyzing of his kiss he gave her, and the ones you used to receive. You don’t think you can handle seeing him love someone more than he did you. You can’t live a life where you constantly diagnose every move of his, receive hate from the entire town, and hate yourself for something you did thinking you were protecting yourself.

You have to leave first thing in the morning. One more look at him, you will run into his arms begging for him to forgive you and take you back. And that no goals or aspirations are greater than him. You are willing to go wherever he goes. You are ready to kill a part of yourself for him. 

The tears dried up on your cheeks, you stared at the frozen window listening to the snowfall. You lift your head in alert hearing a creak, the darkness engulfs your room completely, and you have no energy left to find where your phone is. Resting your head on the pillow, your fluttering close as sleep consumes you. 

The door opens with a creak, you jolt up in the bed ready to scream. A hand cups your mouth preventing you from calling for help. And then you realize who it is. First the scent of his musk perfume dwarfs you in memories of you gifting it one day and he never looked back. His signature scent. Second the roughness of his palms, and third the sneaking in. He always snuck in every night, asking for cuddles and he promised he would leave before your parents woke up. 

Jongin.

You grab his hand from your lips assuring him that you aren’t gonna scream. The bed creaks from his weight, he settles before you, a breadth away from your face. His hands fall into his lap, his knee nudging yours over the comforter. His scent drowns all of your questions momentarily, the need to nuzzle in his chest becomes unbearable. 

“Why?” His voice is a whisper, one with the sounds of snow, you lean closer to listen. “Why, now? Two years. I waited for two years.” His angry hold on your chin jerks you up. “I was happy. With her.” His fingertips press into your cheeks, a jab of pain coursing through your body. “And then you came in.” 

His hands trail to your neck searching for your chain, he tugs on it holding on to the ring once it is out of your shirt. “And I see this. Someone who moved on won’t be wearing the ring her ex proposed with.” 

A flash of light from the window illuminates your room. His eyes are red, tears brimming. He is closer than you could feel, his lips hovering over yours. Pain, and hurt in his words crumbles your insides. You destroyed a man who gave you nothing but love. 

“Jongin…” You hold on to his cheek. He flinches away from your touch. You drop your hands to your lap, curling them. “I’m sorry.. I didn’t expect you to come to the bakery. I am really sorry.”

He lets out a laugh. “Sorry.” He lets go of your chain. “Do you think sorry can fix me?”

You reach out for his hands in his lap. “Jongin.. Please,” your voice trembles from suppressing a cry. 

“A sorry for leaving me on the altar–” you feel wet drops falling on your hands “–leaving me? After fifteen years of love? Sorry can fix my endless nights of tossing around wondering what did I do to deserve this from you? You, who knows me in and out, the one who sailed through ebbs and flow, and still you left me.” 

“I–” 

“I was lonely!” He spats, pushing you away. “I was lonely, I was going crazy. I couldn’t get out of bed, I couldn’t even brush. And you were in a city, posting pictures of how beautiful your life was there. I was dying here. Anywhere I go all I see is you.” 

“I’m sorry.” A sob escapes your lips. “I am really sorry, Jongin.”

“And I got to know you found someone else.” His voice is shaky, “I couldn’t believe it. You, my baby, in love with someone that is not me? I can’t believe it. I waited, and waited, hoping and dreaming you would realize that it was me all you needed. And you never came. Did you forget me?”

You are conflicted. Should you confess or let him believe that you moved on. He has a girl, he moved on and no one has to know that all of your acts are a lie, and you were miserable in the new city, and you were slowly dying. But you couldn’t go back to him, not when he couldn’t even grasp your feelings then. 

“It took me time,” you lie, “but I started liking other things.” 

“Liar.” He grabs your chain, pulling you in. “Tell me more lies.” He nuzzles his nose into your cheek, his lips brushing over yours. “Tell me.”

Your brain short circuits at the proximity. It’s been so long, the feeling of him is driving you crazy. Your eyes flutter shut, “I don’t love–” 

He crashes his lips on yours, drowning your lies. He nips and bites your lower lip. “And?” He whispers in between. 

“I’m serious,” you pant, “I have a boyfriend back home.”

“What did you say to him when he asked about this ring?” He rests his forehead on yours. “What lie did you create now?” His hand slips under your tee, holding on to your waist. 

You stare at his lips, listening to his heavy breaths. The kisses and his touches cracked your brain wiring, the need inside you absolutely feral. You want him. You need him. His question is not registering in your mind as your hands slip around his waist in a habit. He sucks in a breath, moving back sitting on the bed comfortably allowing you to sit on his lap. 

You settle on his lap, peppering kisses on his neck, gripping his hair. You missed him. Missed the feel of his arms around you. You inhale his scent, happy pheromones releasing inside you. Home. You are finally home. 

His hand spreads in your hair, tugging at your strands pulling you away from his neck. “Answer me.” He tugs it hard, “what did your boyfriend say when you had my ring on you while he fucked?” 

“I—” It stings when he pulls your hair harder. 

“Did he touch you?”

He pulls you closer, your fingers brush his tear stained cheeks. Your heart aches knowing you were the reason for his pain over the years. 

“Why does it matter to you?” Your voice is a whisper, “this is wrong, Jongin.” You touch is his lips one last time, some sense coming back to you. “You have a girlfriend. She seems sweet.” 

You press your knees on bed, attempting to slide off of him. He tugs you back, shaking his head. 

“Jongin..” tears fall down incessantly on your cheeks. “Please. Stop making it hard.” 

“I broke up with her.” He confesses, his lips at your neck. “I don’t have anyone. I can’t have anyone else.” He grips your back in a tight hold, “you don’t know how much I hate you. I wanted to kill you when I saw you and also,” he hesitates, “I wanted to hold you, feel you.” 

He cups your cheek, “you are rooted in my life, my soul. No one is you. No one can love me like you do. I want you back, even when you left me alone. I was an ass. I shouldn’t have rushed you. It was my mistake too. Please come back to me.” 

[writemekpop]

Idol Spotlight | Kim Jongin (Kai)

Ay-yo! Let us take you on a journey through our fave Kai fics…

🌻 - Fluff  ☔️ - Angst  💋 - Smut

1. Dirty  💋

Summary: “All I can think about is bending you over this sink and fucking you,” Kai said. Or were you just imagining?

Genre: Suggestive, Kitchen sex 

2. Hot Mess 💋

Summary: You come home one night to find Kai naked in your bed… is he cheating on you?  

Genre: Established relationship AU, smut

3. Daddy’s Little Princess 🌻

Summary: You and your husband Kai gaze lovingly at your newborn daughter in the hospital. Only, not everything is at it seems…  

Genre: New Parents AU, Baby Daddy!Kai, Fluff

4. Kiss and Tell 🌻

Summary: Soft kisses turn into a full make-out session with Kai on the couch of a friend’s party. But someone swears they saw you on a date with Kai’s best friend just this afternoon. Chaos ensues.

Genre: Fluff

+ MAIN MASTERLIST+

[elysiangroundsforall]

I Plead Guilty

"I am guilty of loving you"

Prologue

"EXO! EXO! EXO!" The thunderous chants echoed through the packed stadium as the members exited the stage, their adrenaline still surging from the electric atmosphere. Backstage, the air buzzed with a mix of exhaustion and exhilaration. The night was monumental—it was EXO’s 15th debut anniversary, and their special fan-con had exceeded all expectations.

Kai, ever the charismatic performer, ran a hand through his sweat-drenched hair as he leaned against the wall, catching his breath. His signature grin tugged at the corners of his lips, his dark eyes still sparkling under the dim backstage lights.

"Gosh… I can’t believe it’s been 15 years," Junmyeon said, wiping his face with a towel, his voice tinged with both disbelief and pride.

"I know, right?" Minseok replied, slinging an arm over Kai’s shoulder. "Feels like yesterday we were those wide-eyed rookies."

Kai chuckled softly, the weight of the years settling briefly on his shoulders. "Wide-eyed, sure. But now we’re veterans who can still set the stage on fire," he said with a smirk, earning a round of laughter from the group.

"I think it’s going to rain," Sehun remarked, peering at the darkening sky.

Chen’s lips curved into a knowing smile. "Why are you suddenly grinning like that?" Chanyeol asked, narrowing his eyes.

"It rained the day we debuted too," Chen replied, his voice warm with nostalgia. "Feels like we’ve come full circle."

Kai stood silent for a moment, gazing at the others with a fondness that words couldn’t express. The thought of how far they had come—the battles fought, the friendships forged, the love they shared with EXO-Ls—flooded his heart.

"We need to hurry, guys," Baekhyun said, breaking the moment.

Kai’s lips twitched upward again. "Right. Let’s make this a night they’ll never forget."

The members returned to the stage, and as the lights dimmed, the familiar opening notes of MAMA echoed across the stadium. A roar erupted from the crowd, the energy palpable. Kai took his position at the center, the powerful beats of the track syncing with his heartbeat.

When the lights snapped on, the stadium erupted into chaos. The silhouettes on stage revealed not just the current members but eleven distinct figures—an impossible sight. As the spotlight illuminated their faces, the screams reached an ear-splitting crescendo.

Suho, Xiumin, Baekhyun, Chen, Chanyeol, Kai, Sehun, Lay, Luhan, and Tao stood together, dressed in their debut-era outfits, styled exactly as they had been 15 years ago. It was a vision that no one dared to dream, a moment that surpassed even the wildest fantasies of EXO-Ls worldwide.

Kai’s intense gaze swept the crowd, and his movements, as precise and magnetic as ever, drew everyone’s attention. He owned the stage, commanding it with the same grace and power that had made him a global sensation. His every move was electric, a reminder of why he had been dubbed the ultimate performer.

As the group performed, the synergy was undeniable. Kai exchanged glances with his brothers—Lay’s familiar smile, Luhan’s effortless charm, Tao’s fierce energy—and felt the weight of time dissolve. They were one again, not just a band but a family.

After the encore and the emotional goodbyes, the members gathered in the old EXO dorm for a night of reminiscing. They went live on Weverse, sharing jokes, heartfelt thanks, and cherished memories with their beloved fans.

Kai took the lead in the broadcast, his laughter contagious as he teased Sehun and joined Baekhyun in a hilarious re-enactment of their rookie days. But when the mood shifted to gratitude, he spoke from the heart: "Tonight wasn’t just for us. It was for every EXO-L who stood by us, believed in us, and reminded us of who we are. This bond we share is unbreakable, and it’s all because of you."

The live ended with a toast to the past, present, and future of EXO. Later, as the members shared drinks and stories, Kai sat quietly for a moment, watching his brothers laugh and chat. He felt a deep sense of fulfillment, knowing that after all these years, they were still together, stronger than ever.

When the night settled, and everyone drifted to sleep, Kai stood by the window, gazing at the rain. He smiled, a quiet but profound joy radiating from him. The journey had come full circle, but this was just the beginning of a new chapter.

"EXO forever," he whispered to himself, the words carrying both a promise and a dream.

The Seoul High Court was silent, save for the rhythmic tapping of the judge’s gavel. The case had gripped the nation for weeks: Kang Min-seok, a single father and factory worker, stood accused of arson. The prosecution claimed he had set fire to his workplace to collect insurance money. The evidence seemed overwhelming, and public opinion was stacked against him.

But Kang had one unlikely ally—his lawyer, Y/N, a criminal defense attorney with a reputation for tackling impossible cases and exposing hidden truths.

The presiding judge sat sternly at the bench, flanked by two associate judges. The prosecution’s closing argument had been damning, detailing witness testimonies, forensic evidence, and financial records that painted Kang as guilty.

Now, all eyes were on Y/N as she prepared to deliver her final defense. Her every movement was deliberate, her voice steady.

Y/N began by dismantling the prosecution’s timeline. "The prosecution argues that my client, desperate and cunning, committed this crime to solve his financial woes. But let’s examine the facts closely."

She pointed to CCTV footage presented as key evidence, which supposedly showed Kang near the factory hours before the fire. With a confident smile, she introduced new evidence—an alibi substantiated by GPS data from Kang’s phone, showing he was miles away with his daughter.

"If Kang Min-seok didn’t start the fire, then who did? And why?" she asked, her voice cutting through the room.

Turning the focus away from her client, Y/N highlighted damning evidence against the factory’s management. She revealed internal emails proving negligence, showing that the company was aware of severe electrical hazards but failed to act.

The key moment came during cross-examination of the plant manager, where Y/N pressed him about safety measures. Beads of sweat formed on his brow as he finally admitted the truth: "We didn’t have the budget for repairs."

In her closing remarks, Y/N addressed the bench directly: "Your Honors, this is not just a case of justice for my client. It is a case of accountability—of ensuring that the truth prevails over assumptions. Kang Min-seok is not a criminal. He is a scapegoat."

After deliberation, the judges returned with their decision: not guilty. The presiding judge cited insufficient evidence and significant doubts about the prosecution’s claims, commending Y/N’s thorough investigation.

Kang Min-seok broke down in gratitude. As Y/N left the courtroom, her face betrayed no emotion—a mask she wore well. Reporters clamored for her attention, but she walked past them with a sharp reply: "I let the facts speak for themselves."

Ch 1>>>

[imaginidol]

Sehun: Breakup Texts

Sehun sat in between Suho and Baekhyun—on Minseok’s couch—playing a few rounds of Mario Kart with the rest of his members.

“You suck, Baek,” Suho muttered from his breath, watching in annoyance as he crossed 8th place in the final run as Baekhyun finished with 1st.

“Ha! Told you that you guys can’t beat me. Try me, try me!” Baekhyun excitedly turns to Sehun. “Sehun, race me next.”

Suho passed the controller to Sehun, but Sehun stood up and gave it to Chanyeol instead.

“What? Are you leaving?” Baekhyun asked his younger friend.

“No, but I really have to use the bathroom. I’ll race you when I get back,” he responded, giving Baekhyun a reassuring nod.

Baekhyun nodded and excitedly started punching Chanyeol’s thighs as the next round of Mario Kart begun.

Sehun excused himself and started walking out into Minseok’s hallway. When he approached the bathroom door, however, someone was ready inside.

“Hey,” Sehun lightly pounded the door, “hurry up in there!”

Suddenly, a faint buzz tickled the side of his thigh. He reached his hand into his pocket, searching for his phone.

[New Message: My Love 💞]

Sehun exhales deeply as he opens your text, realizing it was pretty late and you were probably asking where he was.

“Oh?”

What he wasn’t expecting, however, was a dull, rather empty message with the single few words that made a chill run down his spine:

[My Love💞: Sehun, I think we should breakup]

What!? Sehun feels his heart skip several beats as he feels his emotions drop immediately, both in fear and of confusion.

[Sehun: Call me.]

Sehun worriedly looked around the hallway and quietly made his way into Minseok’s empty, dark bedroom. The EXO boys were still howling in the living room, and no one seemed to notice him slip away.

[My Love💞: I can’t. I don’t want to say it again. I prefer saying it over text.]

Sehun rubbed a sweaty hand over his neck, not knowing what to say or how to properly react.

[Sehun: Why are you doing this?? Is this a prank? You know I don’t like pranks like these…]

A few seconds passed before another notification from you ensued.

[My Love💞: Please don’t ask questions. It’s a personal decision.]

[Sehun: You can’t just leave me without an explanation... is it something I did? At least give me some sort of closure?]

[My Love💞: Sehun don’t ask me anything, please]

[Sehun: but we were so happy together. We were so healthy together.]

[Sehun: Or am I wrong, were you not happy…?]

[Sehun: please answer me, say anything… is it something I can fix!?]

[Sehun: you can’t just leave me like this!?!?]

[Sehun: please??….]

Sebum’s heart was racing, and he kept refreshing your messages awaiting any response. His anxiety slowly started kicking in as the minutes passed with no response from you.

[My Love💞: <is typing…>]

[My Love💞: I’ve taken most of my things from the apartment. I’m leaving tonight.]

Sehun felt overwhelmed, covering his mouth with his right hand and looking around Minseok’s room for a tissue box. Thankfully, the boy kept one in the top cabinet of his nightstand.

Sehun reached for the box and lifted a tissue paper up to his face. Almost immediately, the silent tears started rolling from his reddening eyes.

[Sehun: please tell me at least why?]

[Sehun: you’re the only one I love. This is unexpected for me too, please understand it]

[Sehun: it’s bad enough you’re breaking up with me over text, but if it’s a problem we can fix I’ll work hard for us to get better]

[My Love💞: <is typing…>]

[My Love💞: Sehun. Gosh. I’VE FALLEN IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE ELSE]

[My Love💞: there, I said it. I never meant to purposely go out of my way to cheat on you, but it just sort of happened…]

[My Love💞: but you can’t even get mad at me because I see you so little since you’re always so busy and you’re always under so much scrutiny. I can’t take it Sehun, I can’t take your lifestyle as a kpop artist anymore. I can’t be your secret partner forever anymore!]

[My Love💞: the hiding in public, the way I have to ignore you so as to not raise suspicion, the way I have to wait around for your schedules to clear up except you’re ALWAYS busy. what am I to you? How have we even made it this long? I feel like I barely even know you!]

[My Love💞: Gosh, sorry, I didn’t even mean to lash out. I wanted to end things quickly. I wanted to be yours, with no risk of damaging an image or reputation attached. I wanted us to work, but it’s impossible because I don’t want to mess your career up. You don’t deserve it.]

[My Love💞: let’s just end it here and please block my number and I’ll block yours]

[My Love💞: don’t text me anymore]

Sehun read the last texts from you over and over again, his throat tightening more and more. The tears rolled harder, the muffled sobs grew more desperate for you.

It happened again. Again.

Another relationship I couldn’t save.

[Sehun: I’m not mad at you. I’m sorry I couldn’t do more.]

[My Love💞: <is typing…>]

[My Love💞: don’t make this harder than it already is. I won’t respond anymore.]

Sehun closed the chat and turned off his phone, wanting to desperately fling it across the room, but also feeling a need to hold onto it in case you would text him again.

But you didn’t.

Sehun sat hunched over at the edge of Minseok’s bed, elbows against his knees and hands covering his face.

The first soft whimpers of pain escaped his lips. He wept angrily at himself, not you. What could he have possibly done differently? Wasn’t the relationship going well?

‘I can’t take your lifestyle as a kpop artist anymore!”

Your heavy words repeatedly lingered on in his head. He quietly detested himself for not noticing the signs of your distance sooner.

But perhaps you were right. How could have he noticed you were escaping from his arms, anyway?

The last time you’d spoken was… almost eight days ago!

How do I fix myself? How do I fix my career? How can I live a normal life without having to hide the most important parts of myself from my own supporters!?

Sehun is too deep in his own sorrowful thoughts to notice when Minseok walks in.

“Sehun? Oh, I figured you’re in here— I’m sorry, have I interrupted something? Are you okay?”

Minseok quickly walks up to his younger friend and sits gently next to him at the edge of the bed, patting his back gently and waiting for the younger boy to speak up.

Sehun says nothing, but looks down at his phone and opens your chat again. He motions the last few messages to his older friend.

“Sehun,” Minseok reaches over to hug his younger friend, letting him calm down in his arms. “I’m here, I’m ready to listen if you need me to.”

Sehun wipes the last of his tears and shuts his phone off.

Eleven months gone to waste. I’m surprised we even lasted this long.

“Minseok,” Sehun quietly whispers, “can I ask you something?”

Minseok nods.

“Being a kpop artist was never easy. But… when does it get easier? You lose people you love because of the backlash you get from… from anything, really. But I don’t want to hide the most important parts of me anymore. What can we do?”

Minseok sighed, smiling up at his friend.

“This is more of a conversation you could one day have with Jongdae,” he smiled. “because I’m sure it was never easy for him to tell the world about his new family.”

“But,” Sehun frowned, “he got so much backlash for it. Why? Why can’t we just—“

“Sehun,” Minseok whispers, “regardless of what you do or don’t do with your life, those who truly love you will stand by whatever it is that you decide to take on next. Just as long as your choices are healthy. I’d rather get backlash for breaking out of this rigged kpop-image box and be at my happiest with one pure supporter, than to be withheld in this unhealthy parasocial image and wishing things were different.”

Sehun nods. “It… it sounds like Jongdae’s case has already started to break us from the box then, huh?”

Minseok smiled, nodding gently. “Soon, you will be able to say and share these important things in your life and not risk losing them or your career, because… well, because things will get better. Things will always get better. You’ll break the box one day, Sehun. You just have to take it one day at a time.”

[eomayas]

friendly competition • kji

pairing: kai x f!reader

genre: fluff, bit of angst and suggestive comments at the very end

synopsis: your boyfriend isn’t paying you any attention and you are upset about it!

warnings: slight angst, implied jealousy

it was wrong to have beef with a seven year old, but alas. your arms are crossed as you sit on the couch next to your boyfriend, who has your little niece in his lap as they play on her nintendo switch.

it’s been like this since you came to visit family three days ago, for the holidays. from the moment jongin walked in, all of the women in your family started fawning over him; he was so tall, so handsome, so polite, they complimented. and you didn’t mind it—of course, neither did he—but after the first day, the effect started to wear off, and you wanted every last one of them to back off of your boyfriend.

you havent had any time alone together since you got here, and that would have been fine if he wasn’t spending every moment that you both could have had together, with everybody else. if he’s not helping your mom with random tasks around the house, he’s grabbing thing off of the shelf for your aunt, and if he’s not doing that then hes sitting with your grandmother while she goes on about who knows what, and if he’s not doing that, then he’s entertaining your niece, yerim. which is most of the time, if you’re being honest.

“oh no! we lost again!” yerim says, looking up at jongin.

“it’s okay, we’ll just try again,” he says, and you roll your eyes because he’s terrible at video games, and if you niece really wanted to win, she’d be asking you to play with her. from what you’ve been hearing, this is the fourth time they lost the same level.

“auntie, can you try?” yerim asks you, shoving the switch in your face. you nod and take the gaming device snd restart the level.

“why are you actually good at this?” jongin asks as you effortlessly get through the level. you ignore him and finish the level, passing it back to your niece. she looks over at jongin with a timid look, glancin down at the switch.

“uncle nini… i think i want to play with auntie y/n instead,” she says, and you can’t help but snort at the way she’s trying to let him down easy. you glance over at jongin who glares at you, but quickly changes his expression and pats yerims head sweetly. “auntie, can we play this one?” she asks, crawling onto your lap.

you want so badly to be childish and stick your tongue out at jongin, but you don’t and instead take the switch out of her hands and help her win.

“y/n!” your name is called from the kitchen. you tell yerim that you’ll be back and quickly find your mother in the kitchen.

“yes?” you question, already washing your hands.

“help me cut up these vegetables, please,” she says, nodding with her head at an array of food on a cutting board.

“surprised you didn’t ask jongin,” you mutter, grabbing a knife and starting on the cucumbers.

“what did you say?” your mom questions, glancing at you over her shoulder.

“nothing,” you reply, busying yourself with the task of chopping. your mother leaves the kitchen to go back outside to the garden, where she got most of these vegetables and where most of your family is hanging out.

a few minutes later, you hear footsteps and assume it’s your mom so you don’t look up. it’s only when a gentle hand is placed on your waist that you jump and turn around, the sweet face of your boyfriend smiling down at you.

you almost smile back, until you remember that you’re having a one-sided issue with him, and turn back around. “what’s the matter, babe?” jongin questions, rubbing his hand in circular motions on your side.

“nothing, are you bored?” you ask sarcastically. jongin quirks an eyebrow behind you but doesn’t question your tone.

“kinda—yerim went out with her parents, and took her switch with her,” he says, moving to lean against the counter. you hum and finish your last vegetable, tossing everything into a bowl for salad.

jongin watches you closely, his arms crossed lowly over his chest. he watches how you snap the lid on the bowl with extra force, how you nearly throw the cutting board and knife in the sink, how you slam a drawer for seemingly no reason. “y/n?” he says, standing up and reaching for you, but you spin away from his touch, and he frowns. “are you mad at me?” he asks, trying to meet your eye.

“no,” you say, and it’s true. you’re not mad, you just miss him and want him back to yourself.

jongin starts to question you again, but is interrupted by your mom, who says his name with too much enthusiasm for somebody who has seen him all weekend. “jongin, sweetie, can you grab me the blender from up there, please?” she asks him, and you take the opportunity to slip out of the kitchen and go upstairs.

you head to your room, where you change into something more comfortable and then lay down. you scroll aimlessly through your timeline, liking and commenting on your friends’ posts.

about ten minutes later, a light knock sounds against your door. “yes?” you say, lifting your head from the pillow. the door opens and jongin steps inside, closing the door behind him.

when you see that it’s him, you lie back down and go back to your phone. “honey, why are you ignoring me?” he asks, sitting next to you and rubbing your back. “why are you mad at me?”

“i’m not mad,” you say, not looking at him. jongin sighs and gently wrestles your phone out of your hands, putting it on the table next to you. you cut your eyes at him, and he lovingly strokes the side of your face. you can’t help but wrap your hand around his wrist, leaning into his touch.

“then why are you being like this?”

you scoff. “like what?” you question. jongin chuckles at your oblivion, pushing hair away from your face.

“you’re all pouty and sulky,” he says and you roll your eyes, even though he’s getting you good. “just talk to me, baby.” he says, and you can’t deny that face of his.

“it’s embarrassing,” you say, turning your head so it’s smooshed against pillows.

“so?”

you sigh dramatically and press you face harder into the fabric. “i miss you,” you say, your voice muffled by the pillows.

“what? i can barely hear you,” jongin says, trying to pull you up from the bed, but you don’t budge. instead, you groan into the pillow and say, “i miss you” much louder.

jongin smiles behind you, giggling at your admission. “it’s not funny,” you mumble, but he can’t help himself because you’re so cute when you’re like this.

“y/n, please look at me,” he says. you sigh and peel yourself away from the pillow, turning your head so you can look at him properly. “it’s not embarrassing, it’s cute.” he says and you scream and roll away from him, making him laugh harder and pull you towards him again.

“you’re making me feel worse,” you moan, letting him pull you up and into his side.

“i’m sorry, but you’re just so cute right now. and to be fair, i miss you too,” he says, kissing your quickly on the lips.

“yeah? well, why won’t you hang out with me?” you ask, looking at him in his eyes.

“i’m getting to know your family,” he says, pinching your side, making your fold into him. “don’t tell me that you’re upset about that?” jongin adds when you roll your eyes.

you sigh and adjust so your back against his chest, and you’re sitting between his legs. “i’m not… i just miss you, okay? and everybody loves you and that’s great, but i want to spend some time with you too,” you say, your head resting on his shoulder. “and every time i get you alone, it’s for a few seconds.” you rant. jongin wraps his arms securely around you, rubbing his thumb against your forearm.

jongin only hums, not really understanding why you’re so upset, other than you’re jealous of the attention he’s been receiving from and giving to everybody else. “baby, if you want my attention all you have to do is ask,” he says, but when he says ask, all you hear is beg, and make a face. “but if it helps i miss you too.” he adds, kissing your cheek.

you sigh at his admission and lean your head back to look up at him. he smiles and kisses your lips, one of his hands gently resting on your throat. you can’t help but put your hand on top of his and close his fingers around your neck, the back of it hurting from the angle it’s at, but you don’t care.

snaking one of your hands around the back of his head, you pull him impossibly closer to you and tangle your tongues together. his free hand slides up your chest and gropes one of your breasts. you brace your hand on his leg and revel in the way he twitches against you when you drag your hand closer to his crotch.

unfortunately, your moment together doesn’t last long. “uncle nini!” yerim shouts, banging on the door and startling you both and making the two of your knock your teeth together.

“ow,” you say, pressing your hand to your upper lip and frowning. jongin grumbles behind you and slides out of the bed. “bye!” you say bitterly, lying back on your side.

jongin leans down and places a kiss on your forehead. you put a hand on the back of your neck to hold him a little longer, but again it doesn’t last long. “uncle niniii!” yerim yells again.

he pulls back and kisses your forehead. “i’m yours tonight,” he whispers, leaving you with a smile on your face as he runs to go entertain your family.

[jongbross]

okay but like, imagine falling in love with baekhyun. you two meet through kyungsoo, and things just work out so well because he’s all shy around you but, once he realizes you feel attracted to him, he starts flirting with you. kyungsoo plays matchmaker and makes you two go out on a date at least once, because it’s so easy to see how you two fit each other. you’re there to support him as he puts his company up on its feet, and he starts to lean on you as you inspire him and give him the strength he needs.

all for that to fall apart once you meet jongin, the true love of your life. it’s love at first sight, not attraction like you felt with baekhyun. he’s your one and only, you can see that right away. the moment you look into his eyes for the first time, at chanyeol’s birthday, you see your whole future with him - and it seems like everyone else did too, cause you could quite literally hear baekhyun’s heart breaking when he saw the way you two looked at each other, with such love and tenderness.

[technicallymilkshakes]

Sinner

Genre(s): Angst Pairing: Kai x Reader Word Count: 500

oh you've been endless about him. imagined him breaking your heart thousands of times, but never thought it would've happened.

his hands wrap tightly around your wrists, pressing them into the mattress as he slides up your prone body. your skin erupts in goosebumps where his hair grazes you, in the wake of his breath.

"look at me," he whispers.

you laugh and close your eyes, letting your head fall to the side.

heat blooms against your sternum. your eyes flick open and down. his lips have branded you there. he licks his lips and stares down at you.

"i'm sorry."

"shut up."

"i'll make you love me again."

"i never did."

he smiles sadly.

"liar."

his fingers move in patterns along your body, mapping all your conquered spaces. you can anticipate his moves, the pressure of his fingertips, the way they dig in around your hips and splay against your rib cage. you want to scream that this isn't right. it shouldn't be.

for all the reasons you weren't supposed to love him. for pretending this was something. for the husks of promises he left behind. because he said he'd make you love him again and not that he'd love you back.

yes, once upon a time, you mistook kim kai's black hole for safe orbit.

at last, his hand comes to rest against your chest, that last remaining ocean. he bends down to press his head into his upturned palm.

"forgive me." his voice is wet and whispery. "please, don't go, please please don't go." he clutches your hands and drags them to his lips, prays over them again again again until the words are light enough to sieve through your fingers. air with no substance. but they sink into you like a weight, the reminder heavy and insistent.

it hurts. you quake, and suddenly he is holding you while you cry, through the bucking, the anger. the loneliness that goes on and on.

you feel incandescent. he's crying as if he's hurt. but who did this? who?? you've never loved anyone so much. it's all his fault, so how can you ache for him like this when you're already in such pain? how can you bear it? wanting to stay with him, to break the glass-like distance between your two bodies knowing that the loneliness will persist, will lay with you in his arms, stay there like this, suffocating you even now as you touch.

when you pull away, the gulf between you is already so vast even though you are close enough to kiss him. you see it in his eyes. that he's already registered what's happening. "please..." he says one more time.

you slip away from him, slowly pulling on your clothes. you leave him there on the bed. he watches you leave, red-eyed and immobile. it feels as if the very room is holding its breath. like night encroaching on the sun, the door closes in on him until he is just a sliver, an eye, the corner of a mouth. a possibility.

you shut the door and lock yourself in.

__________________________________ A/N: Inspired, of course, by Kai's Sinner. Thank you for reading! 🌹

[loeyshandtattoo]

the lady of moonreach

SECOND CHAPTER, Whispers in the Shadows

chapter summary: Namra still insists on the restoration of Moonreach, and manages to have an upper hand with her new friend, despite that, it doesn't grant her the immunity from the members of the council, not even the feelings that she is slowly growing for the king-conqueror. wc: 3.7k

THE MORNING SUN CAST ALONG THE SHADOWS AT STONEHEARTH, where the scars of war were still evident despite the city's efforts to heal. As I walked through the bustling streets, the contrasts were stark—rebuilt homes and vibrant markets stood side by side with remnants of past destruction. Chanyeol and I had made headway in revitalizing the capital, but the crucial matter of Moonreach loomed large over our efforts.

That is why, the council again has called for a meeting, and this time it was to make peace on the incident the other day about the supposed plans on Moonreach's restoration initiative.

In the council chamber, Chanyeol sat at the head of the table, his gaze fixed on the array of documents before him. The tension from the previous meeting still hung in the air, the friction between us palpable. Junmyeon, Chanyeol’s advisor, was present, and his role in our current predicament was undeniable.

From what I know, Junmyeon owns a piece of land in the Verdantia, where the House Baek rules over in the confines of Greenwood Keep, and Junmyeon managed to have owned hectares of land and named the estate, Eldergrove Keep. His political background is quite remarkable given his family history, whom have been a loyal political advisor to the king, but at this case, he trusts my side, and that is the one he's about to defend in this meeting.

“Moonreach needs to be our priority,” I said firmly, breaking the silence. “It’s not just a castle; it’s a symbol of our commitment to the northern regions and to the legacy of Lord Greenwell.”

Chanyeol looked up, his eyes narrowing. “Namra, I’m aware of its significance, but resources are limited. We can’t simply divert them from other pressing needs.”

Junmyeon interjected smoothly, “Lord Greenwell’s estate was more than just a symbol; it was a vital strategic location. Restoring Moonreach could stabilize the northern regions and reinforce our control there. It’s not only about sentiment; it’s about strategy.”

Chanyeol’s jaw tightened. He was clearly struggling with the implications. “Fine. We’ll allocate the resources for Moonreach. But you, Namra, will need to oversee the process.”

I nodded, meeting his gaze steadily. “I’ll handle it.”

As the meeting concluded, the strained atmosphere between Chanyeol and me was almost tangible. His reluctance was evident, but I was determined to press on. The urgency of the restoration was more than just a task—it was a mission driven by personal stakes and the memory of Lord Greenwell.

As we exited the council room, Chanyeol’s gaze lingered on Junmyeon. There was a flicker of irritation in his eyes, an insecurity that had become more pronounced since our earlier discussions. I could sense the undercurrent of rivalry, a tension that went beyond mere politics.

In the corridors, Chanyeol caught up with me, his expression resolute. “Namra, don’t think for a moment that I’m underestimating the importance of Moonreach. But I need you to understand that this kingdom’s survival is at stake. Every decision we make has consequences.”

His voice was clipped, his frustration barely contained. “I understand,” I said, matching his tone. “But Moonreach is not a luxury; it’s a necessity.”

Chanyeol’s eyes met mine with a mix of defiance and something softer—a flicker of understanding perhaps, buried beneath the surface. “Very well. I’ll support your efforts, but don’t expect me to stand idly by if things go awry.”

Right after the conversation, he returned to his office, where he can continue stressing over the political matters of the kingdom.

The corridors of Ironhold were abuzz with the muted echoes of footsteps and murmured conversations. The high ceilings and grand tapestries spoke of a bygone era of opulence, but the current atmosphere was heavy with the weight of political tension. As I walked through the hallways, my mind was preoccupied with the recent council meeting. The debate over Moonreach had not only been a professional ordeal but a deeply personal one.

Finally, things were turning to my favor.

I turned a corner, my steps slowing as I saw Junmyeon waiting near a grand window overlooking the courtyard. His presence was calm, his demeanor always one of composed authority. His sharp eyes met mine as I approached, a subtle nod acknowledging my arrival.

“Namra,” Junmyeon greeted, his tone warm but measured. “I was hoping we could talk. The council meeting seemed particularly intense today.”

I offered a small, appreciative smile. “Yes, it was. I’m glad you’re here. I was hoping to discuss the next steps for Moonreach. There’s still so much to be done, and your input has been invaluable.”

Junmyeon gestured for me to follow him to a quieter corner of the hall, away from the bustling activity. We stood by a large map of the kingdom displayed on the wall, a detailed depiction of the land with various territories marked.

“I’m glad to see that Chanyeol has agreed to prioritize Moonreach,” Junmyeon said, his eyes scanning the map. “It’s a crucial step, not just for the northern regions, but for the entire kingdom’s stability.”

I nodded, appreciating his continued support. “Indeed. But there are still obstacles—both logistical and political. I worry about the challenges ahead.”

Junmyeon’s expression turned thoughtful. “Restoring Moonreach is more than a symbolic gesture; it’s about reinforcing our northern defenses and showing our commitment to those who have been loyal to the crown.”

I glanced at him, sensing a deeper understanding in his words. “You seem particularly invested in this. Why?”

Junmyeon looked at me with a hint of surprise, then offered a small, almost self-deprecating smile. “You’ve caught me. My family’s history has always been intertwined with the political landscape of Iris. My estate, Eldergrove Keep, has been a center of strategy and diplomacy. Supporting Moonreach is not just a personal favor; it’s a way to ensure that the northern regions remain stable.”

“Your support has been crucial,” I said sincerely. “But I can’t help feeling that there’s more to it. Your involvement seems… personal.”

Junmyeon met my gaze steadily. “Perhaps. I believe in what Moonreach represents. It’s a symbol of resilience, and with the kingdom’s future so uncertain, we need every symbol of strength we can get.”

I sighed, feeling a mixture of relief and uncertainty. “Chanyeol’s reluctance has been palpable. I can sense his frustration, especially with how closely you and I have been working together.”

Junmyeon’s eyes softened with understanding. “Chanyeol has his own burdens to bear. The pressure of leadership can be overwhelming, and sometimes it manifests as frustration or insecurity. His struggle with prioritizing Moonreach is a reflection of his broader concerns for the kingdom.”

We stood in silence for a moment, the gravity of our conversation sinking in. Junmyeon’s presence was a comforting constant amidst the chaos.

“I appreciate your perspective,” I said finally. “And I’m grateful for your support. It means more than you know.”

Junmyeon offered a reassuring smile. “We’re all in this together, Namra. The kingdom’s future relies on our collective efforts. If there’s anything more I can do to help, you have my word.”

As we continued to discuss the finer points of the restoration and strategy, the connection between us grew stronger. Junmyeon’s support was not just political; it was a genuine commitment to the kingdom’s wellbeing, and it was clear that our shared goals were forging a meaningful alliance.

The conversation eventually drew to a close, and as I prepared to leave, Junmyeon gave me a final, encouraging nod. “Keep pushing forward. We’re making progress, and every step counts.”

I watched him walk away, a sense of determination settling within me. The path ahead was fraught with challenges, but with allies like Junmyeon by my side, I felt a renewed sense of purpose. As I moved toward the next task, the halls of Ironhold seemed a little less daunting, knowing that support and understanding were within reach.

Chanyeol's POV

As I returned to the comfort of my office, my thoughts were clouded by a mix of frustration and something else—an unfamiliar sense of vulnerability. The tension between Namra and me was more than just professional; there was an undeniable personal undertone that I struggled to understand.

The way she spoke about Moonreach with such fervor, her unwavering dedication—it was both admirable and unsettling. I couldn’t help but feel a pang of jealousy whenever I saw her interact with Junmyeon. Their camaraderie, their shared understanding—it was a stark contrast to the growing distance between Namra and me.

I found myself staring out of the window of my chambers, lost in thought. Junmyeon’s influence and his closeness to Namra made me uneasy. I recalled a moment from our earlier discussions, where Junmyeon had subtly encouraged Namra’s efforts. There was something almost calculated in his support, and I couldn’t shake the feeling that his motives were not entirely pure.

I recalled a memory from a few weeks ago, when Junmyeon had suggested a strategy that had seemed to benefit both parties. At the time, I’d appreciated his insight, but now, with Namra so closely involved, I wondered if his intentions were more self-serving. His history with my family, his unspoken ambitions—these were the shadows lurking in the back of my mind.

The way Namra and Junmyeon had spoken in the council hall, the ease with which they exchanged ideas—it made me question my own position. My feelings for Namra, a strange mixture of admiration and frustration, only added to my insecurities.

I was beginning to realize that my feelings towards her were not as straightforward as I had assumed. There was an undeniable connection, a growing sense of respect that bordered on something deeper. Yet, every gesture of support seemed to come with a price, a reminder of the political and personal complexities we faced.

As I turned back to my desk, I felt the weight of the kingdom’s challenges pressing down on me. My thoughts were tangled with doubts about Junmyeon’s true motives and the growing closeness between Namra and the advisor. But beneath it all, there was an undeniable yearning for something more—a connection that transcended the political strife.

Somehow, I refuse to believe that it's anything more than having certain deeper feelings.

Namra's POV

As days passed, Chanyeol’s demeanor remained guarded, but small gestures began to shift the dynamic between us. He made an effort to consult with me directly about the progress of the restoration, and there were moments when his attention seemed to soften, if only slightly.

One evening, as I reviewed plans for Moonreach, Chanyeol appeared at my side. “How is the restoration progressing?” he asked, his voice betraying an uncharacteristic note of concern.

“It’s coming along,” I replied, glancing up. “But we’ve encountered some obstacles. We need additional resources to address them.”

Chanyeol’s brow furrowed. “I’ll see what I can do. We can’t afford delays.”

The brief exchange was loaded with unspoken tension, but beneath it, there was an undercurrent of mutual respect. Chanyeol’s willingness to assist, even in small ways, hinted at a growing recognition of the importance of our shared goals.

In the council room, Junmyeon continued to play a pivotal role, his influence evident in the strategies we implemented. Chanyeol’s frustration with Junmyeon was palpable, but there were moments when he acknowledged the advisor’s contributions, if begrudgingly.

Meanwhile, the situation in Dawnspire remained tense. Lady Ambers was grappling with political instability, and her challenges were a stark reminder of the broader issues facing the kingdom. Chanyeol’s focus on these issues sometimes overshadowed his interactions with me, but there were brief instances where he seemed to appreciate the gravity of our situation.

As I worked tirelessly on the restoration of Moonreach, the weight of the task was ever-present. The castle’s rebuilding was more than a physical endeavor; it was a symbol of hope and renewal for the kingdom. And despite the ongoing friction, Chanyeol’s sporadic gestures of support hinted at a slowly thawing relationship.

The early evening light cast long, dramatic shadows through the grand windows of Ironhold, painting the stone floors in warm hues. The hallways were quieter now, the clamor of the day giving way to an eerie calm. I had been heading towards the archives to review the restoration plans for Moonreach, seeking solitude amidst the castle’s grandeur.

As I rounded a corner, I nearly bumped into Chanyeol, who had seemingly appeared out of nowhere. His sudden presence made my heart skip a beat. I looked up into his intense gaze, and for a moment, time seemed to stretch between us.

“Namra,” he said, a hint of surprise coloring his voice. “I didn’t expect to see you here.”

I stepped back, regaining my composure. “Just heading to the archives. The restoration plans need my attention.”

Chanyeol’s eyes narrowed slightly. “I was actually on my way there myself. Perhaps we could walk together? It’s been a while since we had a chance to talk without the usual constraints.”

His suggestion was unexpected, but I agreed, and we started down the corridor side by side. The space between us seemed to crackle with an electric charge, our proximity heightening the tension.

“I’ve been thinking,” Chanyeol began, his voice low and deliberate, “about our last conversation. You were quite insistent on Moonreach.”

I turned to face him, meeting his gaze with equal intensity. “Moonreach isn’t just a restoration project. It’s a symbol of hope and commitment. It’s personal.”

Chanyeol’s expression hardened momentarily. “Personal, yes. But what about the broader issues? The instability in Dawnspire, for instance—are they less important?”

I chose my words carefully. “Every issue is significant, but Moonreach holds a deeper meaning for me. It’s not merely about strategy; it’s about honoring a legacy.”

Chanyeol’s eyes darkened, his internal struggle evident. “And yet, sometimes I wonder if you’re more invested in this project than in the kingdom’s other needs.”

Before I could reply, we reached the archives. The room seemed too large and impersonal for the conversation we were having. Chanyeol’s eyes met mine with a mixture of frustration and something else—an unspoken vulnerability.

“Perhaps we should continue this conversation somewhere more private,” he suggested, his tone softer but charged with an edge of tension.

We found a small, secluded study room just off the main corridor. The room was dimly lit by the soft glow of evening light filtering through the narrow windows. It was intimate, the warmth of the setting creating a cocoon around us.

As we entered, Chanyeol’s demeanor shifted subtly. He leaned against a table, his posture relaxed yet exuding an air of controlled intensity. “Namra,” he began, his voice dropping to a hushed tone, “I value your dedication, but I can’t shake the feeling that there’s more behind your actions.”

I stood close to him, the proximity causing my pulse to quicken. “And what makes you think that?”

Chanyeol’s eyes bore into mine, a storm of emotions swirling beneath the surface. “It’s the way you speak of Moonreach. As if it’s not just a task but a deeply personal mission.”

The space between us seemed to shrink, the air growing thicker with tension. Chanyeol’s gaze flickered between my eyes and my lips, his breath coming slightly uneven. “Sometimes,” he continued, his voice almost a whisper, “I feel like there’s a part of you that’s deliberately hidden.”

The moment hung heavy with unspoken tension. Chanyeol’s vulnerability was palpable, and I could feel the magnetic pull between us. The briefest touch of his hand against mine sent a shiver down my spine.

“I’m driven by my commitment,” I said, my voice low and steady. “But if you feel there’s more, you should be open about it.”

Chanyeol’s gaze lingered on me, his expression a mix of frustration and something softer—an unspoken longing. “Perhaps you’re right. But it’s hard to ignore the way we seem to clash and connect simultaneously.”

Our faces were inches apart now, the warmth of his breath mingling with mine. The tension was almost unbearable, and I could see the struggle in his eyes—an internal battle between restraint and the pull of something deeper.

Before I could react, the door creaked open slightly, a distant sound breaking the moment. Chanyeol took a step back, his expression a conflicted mixture of desire and frustration. “We should focus on our tasks,” he said, his voice returning to its usual clipped tone. “There’s too much at stake.”

I nodded, trying to steady my own racing heart. “Yes, of course. We both have our roles to play.”

As we left the room, the silence between us was charged with the residue of our interaction. The connection was undeniable, yet shrouded in the uncertainty of what lay ahead. Chanyeol’s guarded demeanor and the intensity of our exchange left me with a sense of anticipation—and a lingering tension that promised further complications.

However, a part of me can't help but of the feeling being watched. As if someone is monitoring my every move, and that wants to make me plan step ahead.

Third Person POV

As dusk fell over Stonehearth, the grand halls of Ironhold were cloaked in shadows, the fading light casting eerie patterns on the stone walls. Junmyeon, having just finished his duties for the day, decided to take a walk to clear his mind. His thoughts were still occupied with the ongoing tensions between Chanyeol and Namra, as well as the looming threat of unrest in the kingdom.

He wandered through the dimly lit corridors of Ironhold, taking a path he rarely used. His steps were muffled by the thick carpets that lined the halls, and the soft glow of wall sconces provided just enough light to navigate by. As he approached a secluded part of the castle, he noticed a faint glow coming from under a door slightly ajar.

Curiosity piqued, Junmyeon moved closer, pressing his ear against the crack of the door. Through the narrow opening, he could hear the low murmur of voices. The room on the other side seemed to be a private chamber, often used for discreet meetings. Junmyeon’s instincts told him that something significant was happening behind that door.

Carefully, he inched the door open just enough to peer inside. What he saw made his pulse quicken.

One of the councilors, a burly man with a scar across his cheek, was speaking in hushed tones.

“We can’t let this opportunity slip away. With the unrest in Dawnspire and the focus on Moonreach, this is the perfect time to act.”

A second councilor, a woman with sharp features and calculating eyes, nodded in agreement. “The kingdom is divided. Chanyeol’s obsession with Moonreach has left other regions vulnerable. If we make our move now, we could strengthen our position significantly.”

Junmyeon’s eyes narrowed as he listened intently.

“We need to leverage this,” the burly councilor continued. “If we can undermine Chanyeol’s support in the northern regions, we can weaken his hold on the throne. Our allies in the northern territories are already feeling the strain. We just need to push them further.”

“The resources being diverted to Moonreach could have been used elsewhere, possibly in ways that would benefit us. We can’t let him consolidate his power too easily,” the first voice continued.

"The restoration plans should not be overlooked as well. See to it that what can be done to weaken the loyal alliances of the conqueror should remain that way."

"Agreed. The northerners have always been the easiest people to deal with especially now that we have the Lady of Moonreach at the palm of our hand."

Another councilor, a younger man with a nervous demeanor, chimed in. “And what about the reports of Chanyeol’s increased consultations with Namra? It seems he’s growing closer to her. Should we be concerned?”

"Definitely, saw each other earlier, the king-conqueror is on his knees for the beauty of that whore."

The woman with the calculating eyes leaned in. “Good. We’ll use that to our advantage. If Chanyeol’s focus is divided between Namra and the kingdom’s issues, he’ll be more susceptible to our plans. We need to keep an eye on their interactions and find a way to exploit any weaknesses.”

Junmyeon’s mind raced as he absorbed the conversation. The loyalists were not only scheming to strengthen their position but also to exploit the growing tension between Chanyeol and Namra. Their plan was more dangerous than he had anticipated, involving manipulation and strategic moves to destabilize Chanyeol’s rule.

Realizing the gravity of what he had overheard, Junmyeon quietly withdrew from the door, careful not to make any noise. He needed to report this information to Chanyeol immediately, but he also knew that he had to tread carefully. Revealing that he had been eavesdropping could raise suspicions and complicate matters further.

The evening’s revelations only deepened the intrigue and danger surrounding the kingdom, and Junmyeon knew that the coming days would be crucial in determining the fate of Iris.

He knew what must be done.

Namra's POV

As the night continue to grow, I walked beside Asia through the dimly lit corridors of Ironhold. The weight of the day’s events lingered, casting a shadow over our conversation. Chanyeol’s reactions, the looming issues with Moonreach—everything seemed to be tangled in an intricate web.

After hearing of what had happened between Chanyeol and I, Asia whispered my name.

“Namra,” Asia said quietly, her voice breaking the silence. Her tone was serious, and I could sense the weight behind her words. “We need to talk.”

I looked at her, noting the concern etched on her face. “What is it?”

Asia hesitated, choosing her words carefully. “I’ve noticed how close you’ve become with Chanyeol. I just want to remind you of something important.”

I frowned, my curiosity piqued. “What about Chanyeol?”

Asia’s expression was a mix of worry and resolve. “You need to be careful. I understand that there are feelings involved, but you have to remember why we’re here. It’s easy for emotions to complicate things, and I wouldn’t want that to jeopardize what we’re working towards.”

I took a deep breath, trying to understand her perspective. “I’m trying to keep my emotions in check. It’s just that… sometimes it’s hard to separate everything.”

Asia’s gaze softened. “I know it’s not easy. But our focus needs to remain clear. We can’t let personal entanglements distract us from our goals.”

Before I could respond, Asia signaled that we had reached our destination. “Junmyeon is expecting us. He wants to meet us in the observatory tower.”

The observatory tower was a secluded place in Ironhold, offering a panoramic view of the city. It felt like an appropriate setting for a private conversation.

As we entered the tower, Junmyeon was already there, standing by the large window that framed the night sky. The room was dimly lit, the glow of lanterns casting soft shadows across the stone walls.

“Namra, Asia,” Junmyeon greeted us with a nod. “Thank you for coming.”

I nodded back, exchanging a glance with Asia before we moved closer to Junmyeon. His demeanor was serious, and I could sense that he had important information to share.

“Before we begin,” Junmyeon said, his voice low, “I need to bring something to your attention. There are troubling rumors circulating among certain factions within the council. It seems that some members are plotting against Chanyeol.”

My heart skipped a beat. “Plotting against Chanyeol? What do you mean?”

Junmyeon’s expression darkened. “I’ve overheard discussions suggesting that there are plans to undermine his authority. The details are vague, but there are hints of a scheme to discredit him and destabilize his rule.”

Asia’s eyes widened slightly. “And who’s behind this?”

Junmyeon shook his head. “I don’t have a clear answer yet. It could be individuals who are dissatisfied with the current leadership or who have their own agendas. What’s certain is that Chanyeol is at risk.”

I exchanged a worried glance with Asia. This revelation was unsettling, and it only heightened the complexity of our situation. “What should we do?”

Junmyeon’s gaze was firm. “For now, we need to be vigilant. I’m working on gathering more information, but I wanted you both to be aware of the potential threat. Keep your eyes and ears open.”

As Junmyeon spoke, the cool night air from the observatory window seemed to chill my bones. The stakes were higher than I had imagined, and the sense of urgency was palpable.

When the meeting concluded, Asia and I left the observatory, the weight of Junmyeon’s words hanging heavily in the air. The cool night breeze did little to ease the tension. I could sense the danger that loomed over us, a shadow of uncertainty that added to the already complicated situation.

Asia’s earlier warning about maintaining focus seemed even more relevant now. As we walked back to our quarters, the city of Stonehearth spread out below us, its lights twinkling in the distance. The path ahead was fraught with challenges, and the potential threat against Chanyeol only added to the precarious balance we needed to maintain.

"I need to leave for Silverhaven immediately," Asia announced as we found the comfort of our bedchambers.

I took a deep breath, "Why, I need you here at this time and hour."

"As Lady of Silverhaven, I must ensure that my domain remains loyal and secure. We can't afford any surprises."

I felt a pang of anxiety. "Be careful. We don't know who might be involved in this plot."

Asia flashed me a reassuring smile. "I'll take every precaution. And remember, stay vigilant."

With that, Asia prepared to leave, her departure adding another layer of urgency to the situation. As she gathered her things, I felt a lingering growing sense of unease.

The morning sun spilled its warm light over Ironhold, casting a gentle glow on the bustling city below. The air was filled with the soft murmur of early activity, a stark contrast to the tension that had characterized the past few days. As I stood at the gates of Ironhold, I felt a pang of sadness mixed with resolve. Today was the day Asia would leave for Eldoria, and I was determined to make sure she departed with all the support she needed.

Asia approached, her travel attire neatly pressed and her expression a mix of determination and nostalgia. She carried herself with the grace of someone who was both a noble and a warrior, her presence commanding respect and affection. Her dark hair, tied back into a practical braid, framed her face, highlighting the seriousness of the mission ahead.

"Namra," she said softly, embracing me in a tight hug. "This is a crucial time for us. I’ll gather as much intel as possible and rally our forces. We can’t afford to endanger Moonreach—it’s too important." Her voice was steady, but I could sense the weight of the task she was about to undertake.

I nodded, holding her close for a moment longer before stepping back. "I know you will," I said, trying to inject confidence into my voice despite the heaviness in my heart. "Your presence in Eldoria is vital. Lord Roderick and Lady Eveline will need your support, and I trust you’ll convince them of the urgency. Moonreach has been our home for the past five years, and it’s a part of us. We must ensure its safety."

Asia’s gaze softened as she looked at me, her eyes reflecting both affection and a shared sense of purpose. "I still remember the look on his face when he adopted us," she said with a wistful smile. "Lord Greenwell took us in when we were just lost souls, and he gave us a place to call home. We owe it to him—and to ourselves—to protect it."

The memory of Lord Greenwell’s kind eyes and the warmth of his embrace flashed in my mind. He had been a beacon of hope in our lives, offering us sanctuary and a new beginning. It was this very memory that fueled our determination to see Moonreach restored and safeguarded.

"We do," I agreed, my voice trembling slightly with emotion. "And we will. The future of Moonreach depends on us. We must ensure that the restoration is not just a physical rebuilding but also a symbol of hope for the kingdom."

As the carriage prepared for departure, Asia adjusted her cloak and gathered her belongings. Her resolve was evident in the set of her shoulders and the determined sparkle in her eyes.

"I’ll be in touch," she promised, giving me a reassuring nod. "Stay vigilant, and don’t let your guard down. The situation is delicate, and we can’t afford any missteps. Oh, and Namra, we keep our blades sharp."

With one last embrace and a final exchange of determined glances, Asia climbed into the carriage. The vehicle, drawn by sturdy horses, began to roll out of Ironhold, leaving a trail of dust in its wake. I watched it disappear down the road, feeling a mixture of pride and apprehension.

As the carriage vanished from view, I turned back towards Ironhold, steeling myself for the challenges ahead. Asia’s departure was a crucial step in our strategy, but it also marked the beginning of a new chapter in our fight to secure Moonreach and restore our home to its former glory.

Moonreach has been our home. It always has been. My thoughts drifted back to the moments right after my father’s death. I vividly remembered being taken by Ser Gareth to my sister for safety. Ser Gareth, now serving diligently as a Queensguard in Eldoria, had always been a pillar of strength. His commitment to his duty was unwavering, and I knew he continued to do his utmost best, improving with each day.

Despite the reassuring memories of Ser Gareth’s dedication, my mind kept circling back to that fateful evening months ago. The image of smoke swirling in the air, the roaring flames consuming everything in sight, and the blurred exit as I desperately sought escape were vivid and haunting. The destruction of Moonreach was a tragedy I could never fully erase from my mind.

“In the moon’s shadow, we stand strong.” Our house motto echoed in my thoughts, a constant reminder of our resilience. It was a mantra that had guided me through the darkest times. Standing strong wasn’t just about physical fortitude—it was about inner resolve and the determination to rebuild what had been lost.

The decision to return to Moonreach was not made lightly. It was a choice that required days of contemplation, a recognition of the urgent need to restore what was rightfully ours. As I packed my belongings, preparing for the journey back to Skybound, I felt a mixture of resolve and apprehension. Moonreach needed me, and it was my duty to ensure its revival.

Returning to Skybound would also provide me with the opportunity to set clear boundaries with Chanyeol. Our recent interactions had been fraught with tension, and I needed to establish a more defined separation between our personal and professional relationships. The complexity of our situation required a clear focus on the task at hand, without the added confusion of personal emotions.

As the carriage that would take Asia to Eldoria disappeared into the distance, I took a deep breath, steeling myself for the challenges ahead. Moonreach awaited, and the path to its restoration was fraught with obstacles. But with the motto of my house guiding me, I was determined to face whatever lay ahead and honor the legacy of those who had come before me.

[pascaloverx]

FELLINGS — EXO K.J

CHAPTER ONE

Summary: You and Jongin live wanting what you two can't have. For example, he wants to win over your best friend and you want him.

Warnings: This fanfic will describe some hot romantic moments and use of inappropriate language. In the future there may be both smut and moderate use of violence. Readers are warned. This fanfic will feature some members of EXO as characters but they are not part of a Kpop group in this scenario.

PREVIEW CHAPTER TWO

The damn dress I bought just won't close. The zipper got stuck halfway and you don't know how to force it without tearing your dress. You spent a good part of your afternoon doing bridesmaid things. Your apartment doorbell rings, alerting you that you are terribly late.

"I'm coming." You speak loud enough for whoever is at the door to stop ringing the doorbell. With your dress still open in the back, you open the door, coming face to face with your boss. Kim Jongin rarely is late.

"With all due respect, don't you think it's a little aggressive to try to steal the bride's spotlight?" He says as he enters your apartment, you smile embarrassed. He has no idea how what he says affects you, which is good.

"Actually, the bride chose this dress without me. Now I'm trying to get into this shit but I can't. Do you mind helping me?" You say, turning your back, waiting for Kim Jongin to help you. He doesn't respond at all. But you feel his hand go down your back, making its way to the zipper. Finally he closes the dress for you and when you think it's done, you feel him approach your neck as if he's going to kiss you there. But actually he just smelled you.

"Your scent must be the most delicious scent I've ever smelled." He says as you turn to face him. You don't know what to say, so you ignore him and go to the bathroom to finish your makeup. He follows you there and out of the corner of your eye, you watch him.

"Are you going to behave?" You ask and almost immediately he smiles mischievously.

"If I don't behave, will you punish me?" Jongin speaks in a rude tone and you turn to look him in the eyes.

"If you don't behave, sir...I'll resign and you'll be left to fend for yourself." You say, looking seriously at him, who even seems to like your answer.

"I prefer a good old punishment. But I'll try my best today. I mean, I'm going to behave so I don't have to lose you." He says, approaching you and extending his hand for you to get up from the chair in front of the dresser.

"Do you think I'm well dressed? I feel like this dress wasn't made for me." Luna has always had a unique style and let's say fashionista when it comes to clothes, as for you...you usually wear what makes you comfortable. And that dress doesn't make you very comfortable.

"I told you. You're stealing all the attention. At least stealing all of mine attention." And he says this with zero intention of being with you. It's impressive.

"Let's go. Luna will kill us if we get there after her." You say, taking your bag and heading towards the door. Jongin comes right behind you and the two of you quickly go to the dinner location of the engagement dinner. Everything about the place was stunning. Sehun, Luna's fiance was next to her taking photos.

You're not sure what to do, it seems like all eyes in the beautiful banquet hall for the engagement dinner are on you. Everyone is watching as you and Kim Jongin enter, almost as if you were expected. Amid smiles and sideways glances, you both walk in. Suddenly, Jongin grabs your waist, leaving you confused. Until you notice the exchange of glances between Luna and Jongin, realizing that he's using you to make her jealous. Jerk.

"You know, I've always suspected there was something going on between you and Luna. But using me to make her jealous is low, even for you." You whisper in Kim Jongin's ear. From afar, no one would suspect that you're cursing him out. They might even think you're whispering something naughty in his ear.

"Y/N…" He starts to speak but is interrupted by the newlyweds who came to greet us. You had to compose yourself because you didn't want Sehun or Luna to notice that you're angry with Jongin, even though Luna is part of all this.

"I was starting to think the maid of honor wouldn't show up for the party, huh, Y/N? You know Luna can't live without you." Sehun says as he approaches to hug you and Jongin. You notice a strange exchange of glances between the groom and your boss, but you brush it off.

"In her defense, the maid of honor had to look beautiful for her best friend's special day." Kim Jongin says as he greets the bride and groom. The weirdest part is that Sehun seems tense because of your boss.

"You've got a lot of nerve showing up here after telling my fiancée you loved her in that damn call." Sehun says, almost lunging at Kim Jongin. You feel the need to find an excuse to lighten the mood of the party before things escalate into a fight.

"Listen here, buddy…" Kim Jongin begins, but you interrupt him, shifting the spotlight of this conversation onto yourself.

"What Kai means is that he mixed up his messages. He was drunk, dialed the wrong number, and ended up mistakenly declaring his feelings to Luna." You say. Perhaps this is the worst excuse you've ever given in your life.

"And how do you know that?" Luna asks, sounding genuinely surprised that you've come up with such a almost convincing excuse for Jongin's declaration.

"Her and I are engaged. We just didn't want to steal your moment." Kim Jongin says, catching everyone off guard, including you. And then he kisses your cheek, and you smile.

[kpopimaginings]

Reassurance - Kai (Jongin)

You're being stupid. That's what you keep telling yourself. Kai is an idol, sometimes he is going to be around female idols, he is going to do dance challenges with them or talk to them, he can't exactly snub them. You couldn't help but compare yourself to them though. You trusted Kai, you really did, but sometimes, when your mental health was bad and the insecurities kicked in, you felt like he could do better than you.

When you were next with Kai, you were so stuck in your head about everything he noticed how distant you were being.

"Jagi?" he asked you, when you made no reaction to his hand on your thigh as you sat together on the sofa.

You simply hummed in response.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," you answered, far too quickly for it to be the truth.

"Come on, something's bothering you," he said giving you a little nudge.

"I don't want to talk about it," you replied, bluntly.

"I just want to help," he continued.

"Jongin, let it go," you snapped.

"Fine," he muttered, moving away to sit on the other end of the chair to you.

"Talking about it will just upset me, so I don't want to right now, you don't have to be like that."

"You don't have to snap at your boyfriend when he's trying to help."

You let out a frustrated sigh. "Don't try and guilt trip me."

"What can't you talk to me about? Am I the problem? Because if I am that's more reason to talk to me," he continued.

"No, not exactly-"

"Yah! What do you mean not exactly?"

"See this is why I didn't want to talk about it."

Kai stood then and moved in front of you, making sure you couldn't look away from him. "What did I do?"

"Nothing."

"Then what did 'not exactly' mean?"

You hesitated then. He clearly wasn't going to drop it, so you were trying to work out how to put your feelings into words.

"Y/n?" he questioned.

"I don't like seeing you with other women," you rushed out, before realising how that sounded. "Wait- no, that didn't-"

"Because you don't trust me?"

"That's not what I meant. I just think- It's hard for me seeing you with these beautiful idols, when I'm- me."

"You think I'd cheat on you?" he questioned in an accusatory tone.

"No! It's not about you-" Your voice raised as you spoke.

"Then what is it about?"

"If you calm down and let me get my words out..."

"You didn't even want to talk to me a second ago."

"I can't talk to you when you're like this," you said, your tone dropping as you stood to head to the door.

Kai stayed stationary for a moment as pulled your shoes on. Before you had a chance to gather up your things though, he was next to you holding your bag. The two of you just stood looking at each other in silence briefly.

"What's wrong?" he asked again, his voice now much softer.

"It's not that I think you would cheat. It's that I believe you'd be better off with one of them. I look at myself and then these gorgeous women you're surrounded by in your working life and I can't compare. I don't feel like I deserve to be with you."

"Jagiya," he let out in a whisper.

You sniffed as the emotions started to hit you. "And this is why I didn't want to talk about," you managed to say as your voice broke.

Immediately, you were engulfed in your boyfriends arms as you broke down.

"I love you," he mumbled as he pressed small kisses in to your hair. "I love you, and I'll keep saying it until all those thoughts leave."

You just held onto him tighter as he spoke, giving you the reassurance you so clearly needed in the moment.

"Anytime you feel this, you tell me. Even if I'm not with you and you've seen something, some video online, and it makes you uncomfortable, call me. I will remind you that you are the one I will always choose, ok?"

All you could do was nod.

"Do you want to take your shoes off and come back in?"

You nodded again.

Kai's chest vibrated against you as he laughed. "You need to let go then."

This time you shook your head and snuggled further into him, if that was even possible. With another laugh at your cuteness, Kai squeezed you back, content just to hold you until you were ready.

NAVIGATION  |  EXO MASTERLIST  |  SUPERM MASTERLIST

[yeolsaintlaurent]

yeolsaintlaurent's MASTERLIST

Series

Nocturnal Reverie - PCY :ongoing: *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ Chapter 1: City of Shadows Chapter 2: Unveiling Secrets Chapter 3: A dangerous game begins Chapter 4: Unveiled Desires Chapter 5: Operation Shadow Veil Chapter 6: Threads of Deception and Dilemmas Chapter 7: Echoes of the Past Chapter 8: Unexpected Encounter Chapter 9: Harmony in Midnight melodies Chapter 10: Glimmers of recognition Chapter 11: The Message

Crimson Veins, Midnight Flames - BBH :paused: *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ Chapter 1: Freshman Impressions Chapter 2: Intoxicated Whispers of Realities

~New Series Coming Soon