#just venting lmao
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God I really fucking don't like "gooner" as an insult. It feels so fucking backwards. If you mean misogynist you can say misogynist.
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One day I'm going to do what I've been threatening for a couple of years now and write a guide for drag producers about how to make their casting applications more neurodivergent friendly.
#you can tell me you want “ND performers to the front” all you want#and you can (claim) you'll provide all the accomodations at the show (though based on experience DOUBT)#but if your application process consists of “DM if interested”#or even worse “send an email to express interest”#and when i send you an email/DM that just says “hello i am interested” you ignore me because i have not followed some unapoken rules#you can't actually claim to be supportive of ND performers#like literally just giving me a rough format for the email makes ALL the difference#like: drag name/pronouns/contact email#also has the added benefit of acting as a way for you to make sure that people emailing are actually interested#because they've had to do the bare minimum of reading your post#also if you have a long application form that requires detailed answers way more people need to have to option for people to submit as an#audio/video file#ANYWAYS#I've talked to a lot of other ND/autistic performers and they've all agreed that this would make SO much difference#the number of shows i don't even apply for because i feel SOO stressed by the lack of clear guidelines for the process#none of y'all care about this haha#just venting lmao#drag posting
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this lady at my office is nice but omg she micromanages the fuck out of everyone and just does not shut up 😭
#i listen to her all day#on the phone with her husband#telling him exactly what she wants him to do#step by step#regardless of the task#i just listened to her explain to him how to 'properly make a jar salad' for like 10 minutes#as;dlsdfdf'g#and her son came to pick up something she ordered for him#(chia seeds)#and she must've told him how to grow them like 10 times before he left???#and kept telling him 'don't forget your chia seeds'#sdfl;dfldf'lg like omg why#ignore me#just venting lmao
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girl get upp
#fanart#digital art#tgcf#meltiniart#hua cheng#heaven official's blessing#ti guan ci fu#just thinking abt 800 years… like#he was in the torture chamber for so long guys#same for xl WHATEVER I 😕#anyways thank u fafa for being my test dummy / vent chara LMAO
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i don’t mind suspending my disbelief for leverage’s person-sized ventilation shafts bc that’s pretty standard for the genre, but that doesn’t mean i won’t laugh a bit at some of the egregiously large vents. particularly in the crowning acheivement job (lev: red s2 finale) because - well just look at this lol! harry and parker, two adults, can kneel side by side in those vents. parker can sit upright.


that museum was made for vent crawling purposes. that’s just an extra room in the museum they forgot to decorate. the leverageverse has a thief union that successfully lobbied for a better working environment. these vents double as a playground for museum-goers’ children. i was crying with laughter thinking about this and harry’s vent crisis was NOT helping me remember that there was a serious heist thing going on lol, i love this show.
#leverage redemption#leverage#parker leverage#harry wilson#harry wilson leverage#parker#wren speaks#leverageposting#the sun roofs (or are they just lights?) really get me lmao#ALL of the person-sized vents are unrealistically large so this is not criticism! this is a generic convention!#vents are not human-sized and clean or remotely safe enough to reliably crawl through irl#but basically every building in every crime drama has comfortably person-sized vents#usually for knee crawling not even people lying on their stomach bc that’s difficult to move and looks sillier#and that thin layer of the ceiling under the vent is usually surprisingly built well enough to support a persons weight#and there’s no fans or rats or dust or bugs or that foil tube stuff i forgot the word for#and it’s often oddly well-lit. and that’s okay! it’s fiction! we’re having fun!#sewers tend to be unrealistically large + accessible + well-lit etc in fiction too.#anyway my point is i’m not saying this as criticism! just a neutral obserativion of something i found funny!
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Being junkorexic is wild to me
And I say that as a junkorexic myself
Like,,, brother you cannot OMAD on ONE CAN OF PRINGLES
YOURE GOING. TO PERISH 😭😭😭😭
#this is extremely self aimed LMAO#light as a feather#tw ed ana#i just want to be thin#light as a 🪶#tw 3d vent#tw ana bløg#tw restriction#⭐️rving#⭐️ve#����️as a feather#tw ana rant#tw skipping meals#thinspp#thinspø#4nor3xia#i wanna be sk1nn1#⭐️vation goals#tw 3d diet#⭐️ ing motivation
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i could wait
#dreamcore#weirdcore#oddcore#strangecore#ventcore#aesthetic#weird aesthetic#surreal#dereality#derealization#tw dereality#tw derealization#tw sui ideation#tw sui implied#tw depressing thoughts#tw vent#vent#sorry for being depressing#idk just feeling shitty lmao#!EDIT
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Trying to edit walk sprites and I am feeling every flavor of horrible there is
#HOW DO YOU DO THIS#why does it look so bad#oh no#rpg maker 2003#rpg maker#devlog#my post#just venting lmao
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i feel like the tragedy of being aroace is that i’m never going to be anyone’s favorite person. like at some point everyone’s favorite person is going to be whoever they have sex with and kiss and i’m never going to want that. hell i don’t even have a best friend now but even if i do i’ll still be second to their boyfriend or girlfriend or husband because that’s how the world works
#aroace#aromantic#asexual#anyways i guess i’ll just watch youtube#and pretend i live i. a world where they care abt me#add#adhd#is this edgy#and i’m 16 so im too old for anyone to be concerned ha#drunkposting#pleaseee i need a bsf lmao#MY NOSE IS SO STUFFY HEPP ME MY EARS ARE CRACKING WHYY#vent#this is so lame i’m venting on tumblr lmao haha
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The magic of Majoras Mask is trying to comfort characters who are grieving their future through little acts of kindness. Like, the simple but layered juxtaposition of the joy of marching the chicks around on the third day to a little ocarina tune while the game vibrates every few minutes to signify that the moon is closer and closer to falling....
#snowhead rly destroyed me so have been collecting masks ever since#spent so much time gambling on dogs til i finally got a winner <3#anyway can we all agree that mm is genuinely a game about acts of kindness lmao#like one of the masks u literally just listen to the song of storms guy vent...how often i forget that actively listening is an act of#kindness in its own way 😭#entering incomprehensible posting era again just warning u all
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pt.2 of my horror au! you can find pt.1 here!
cw mild horror, descriptions of a dead animal (not riley)
to say johnny’s gotten used to the man living in his walls would be the biggest lie he’s ever tried to spin. he doesn’t have a choice but to get used to him
he won’t let johnny leave
he’s always watching him, even if he can’t see him; the walls and ceiling groaning with his weight as he follows him throughout the house during the day, only ever peeking through the vents when the sun’s gone down. if he even gets close to the front door, the vents shake like he’s sprinting towards him and the sheer panic is enough to make him stumble back; his heart pounding in his chest
he was paralysed the first night he saw the man, clutching riley to his chest in the middle of the bed, just waiting for him to come back and do god knows what to them- but the walls were silent
if it weren’t for the lingering damp on his hand and the slight scrape on the side of the vent, johnny could almost convince himself the whole thing was just some twisted waking nightmare
it was only when the sun crept over the horizon that he dared to step off the bed, riley tight in his arms, and held his breath as he escaped out the front door-
only to feel smug eyes on the back of his head when he saw his car tires slashed and random pieces of the motor ripped out and strewn across the yard
the message was clear
johnny can’t leave
the man won’t let him
the next few days passed in a haze of dread. johnny kept waiting for the man to come back, never eating or sleeping except for the snatches his body forced him to take. he can fight but from the glimpse he caught of the man and the weight of the sounds in the walls, the man was big. even if he did knock him out, where could he go? it would take hours of running before he reached another house
he never let riley out of his sight, feeding him in his room after he tipped the wardrobe over in front of the vent. it was only then he realised his phone was missing too
he was utterly trapped; a rabbit with his leg broken, waiting for the jaws to close around him
but the man didn’t come back
johnny’s panic turned into rage. then after another week of nothing turned into confused acceptance and determination
if he can’t leave, he’s not going die in a house with moldy baseboards
“i’m going out the back!” johnny announces loudly in the dining room - the room with the most vents - and almost flinches when he hears the slight reverberations through them. “i’ll come back in when i’m done but i’m not gonna let you stop me from workin’!”
nothing answers him. not a creak or a groan or a scratch. just complete silence
he wishes it didn’t make him feel so much worse
johnny takes a deep breath and wills his hand not to shake as he reaches for the doorknob, wincing at its obnoxious creak, and waits
and waits
nothing
johnny blows out a long breath. “alright, then,” he whispers and looks down at riley waiting obediently at his side. “let’s get to work.”
so he keeps fixing it
he builds new frames for the windows and purposely doesn’t acknowledge the heavy gaze on his back every second he’s outside. he replaces the outlets and pulls out the phone line that looks like it’d been chewed through with teeth far too big to be a rat
definitely too big to belong to the skinned rat he finds in the dumbwaiter after following the smell of gored meat, bled dry and spread out like a gift
a gift offered after a day spent repairing the roof, riley sitting diligently at the base of the ladder. a day he didn’t step a single foot inside
a day he didn’t eat at all
johnny looks at the rat, really looks at it. the skin had been cleanly removed, the meat left undamaged; the guts removed from the abdominal cavity. it’s been perfectly cleaned and dressed like it came from a butcher
from a hunter, prepped and ready for eating
it sends a shiver through him. he swallows and gently shuts the dumbwaiter cover, sending the rat back down to the basement then knocks politely on the wall for good measure. he then takes a bunch of fillings from the fridge, some bread and a cutting board, turns off the light and sits in front of the nearest vent
and waits
his breath is so loud, his instincts screaming at him not to have him back to the room. but he knows the only threat in this house will come from directly in front of him
johnny flinches at a distant thud and an immediate scratching starts, starting in the basement and barreling straight towards him
he’s angry
he swears he can hear his heart racing in his chest as the vent in front of him thunks, something heavy and fast weighting it down- then everything abruptly falls silent
he can’t see him
but he knows he’s there
he’s always there
johnny swallows again and lays out the two pieces of bread on the board, the moonlight coming through the window the only illumination he has. the vent remains silent as he layers on deli ham and a few slices of cheese, finishing off with a couple pickles and mayo
he closes the sandwich up and, eyes flicking to the shadows in the vent, picks it up and takes a bite
he chews slowly and lets out a deliberate hum before he takes another bite, dragging it out like it’s the best damn sandwich he’s ever eaten
johnny swallows his last mouthful, sucks a drop of may off his thumb and braces himself. he stands up and turns his back on the vent. he putters around, puts the food away and fills a glass of water and at some point while he’s washing off the cutting board, the vent lightly groans as the man slowly climbs away
he shivers and wonders how crazy it makes him that the rattle almost sounds thoughtful
💀🧼
there’s a sandwich on the floor
johnny’s still trying to catch his breath after hauling all the old moldy baseboards outside, frozen in the action of wiping sweat off his forehead
the bread’s torn, ham and cheese and pickles clumsily and excessively thrown on with sauce dripping out the sides
but it’s a sandwich, sitting on top of his cutting board
johnny tugs off his gloves and slowly walks up to it. the walls are silent. but that doesn’t mean the man isn’t watching
he picks up the cutting board and a voice in the back of his head screams at him as he brings it in front of the kitchen vent and sits just like he did the other day when he made his own sandwich. he hides a preemptive grimace and picks it up-
but it’s not soggy
despite the amount of sauce piled on it and the juice from the near fistful of pickles, the bread is still soft
fresh
you waited for me, johnny realises and something in his chest catches. you waited until i was done and made sure it would be ready for me.
johnny blinks a few times and bites into the sandwich
he can’t remember the last time someone had a meal waiting for him
his ex certainly never did; he always had to be poked and prodded into cooking, never wanted to eat anything they already had or waste time making something when they could just order in. even in other relationships, sure they would ask if he was hungry or make an extra portion when he wasn’t home so he’d have leftovers
but no one’s ever cooked something just for him. just because they wanted to
johnny thickly swallows the last bite
and doesn’t flinch when he looks into the vent and sees the shine of eyes looking back at him
“thank you,” he whispers
the eyes twitch back, almost like the man flinched, then they cock to the side and sink down into the very edges of the darkness, blending into the shadows like a ghost
but he doesn’t leave
and neither does johnny until riley pokes him with his nose, looking for his own dinner
#have i ever said im a little bitch baby when it comes to horror?#i dont fuck with horror movies books none of it#this is literally my worst nightmare#the bits where ghost sprints through the vents? i fucking hate that!!#yet here i am!#part three is coming but it may take a bit longer since ive only got the bones of it rn!#which is typical bc thats the part i was actually going to write this part came out of nowhere lmao#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#we’re a team. ghost team#ghoap#soapghost#ghostsoap#soap call of duty#soap cod#john soap mactavish#soap mw2#ghost call of duty#ghost cod#simon ghost riley#ghost mw2#save post
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niche interest
#vent art#vent post#might delete this later idk#just been feeling like my work is falling off#and also very excluded recently by friend groups#partially due to my hyperspecific niche interests that no one else knows about lmao#legit holding a glock to my head to keep myself from considering dropping my comic all together#cuz the feeling of being excluded from cool shit burns a hole in my mental health#just wish i had someone to rant about it to without judgement
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early years

and more stuff down here


just doodles, and a very stressed out me. thought this was a perfect time to post since i’m actually going back to school tomorrow for my last semester of high school lol. happy late new years btw (oh and brony headcanon i got from @bonkerbuster69 . you are cooooollll)
#markvid#cotc#elders of the creek#elder mark#elder david#my art#back on my shit. even though i haven’t really been off it#actually vent a bit cause tags make me comfortable for some reason#nothing serious but i get MASSIVE anxiety whenever i post literally anything on this site. because eyeballs are staring at it judging#like fresh meat#and iddkkkk eeeeuuggh it’s scaaarrryyyy#and that’s why i haven’t been posting jack shit but anyways. that is the life of a young adult on the internet for you ig#i talked about it to my therapist and woh is me and no surprise or anyone. i am afraid of the unknown#that unknown includes not knowing what people think of me and my art#so yeah gang i think i legit just have mad anxiety issues lmao#oh fuck i see a typo#whateverrr#anyways bye again. i must become a cog in the education system once more
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Disappeared for a bit but I'm still here, I just got overwhelmed and learned I should probably take this blog less seriously
I'm using the new year as an excuse to come back on here and try to not ditch my account for another 6 months-- I'm NOT good at posting stuff online to a crowd of more than like 5-20 followers, I originally wrote a huge long-winded draft describing all of my thoughts in great detail. It was too long. I guess all I want people to know is I'm somebody who's spent years making art that I knew nobody will ever see, so it's incredible and overwhelming to have thousands of eyes on my art all of a sudden? It's both the coolest thing and the scariest thing ever to me simultaneously, I'm by no means a Popular Artist but I went from virtually no interaction for years to suddenly tens of thousands of cumulative notes on my posts so it's huge for me. And I haven't adjusted super well to it, entirely due to my own shitty brain chemistry.
I don't want anyone to feel like I'm ignoring their messages or like I don't appreciate the fact they go out of their way to give me their thoughts/send me ideas, genuinely this is the most support I've *ever* had for my art and it's so so fucking cool. It's led me to create so much more than I thought possible! I used to run ask blogs for a couple very niche video game fandoms, and I prided myself on being able to draw full comics for EVERY ask I got, answer EVERY message and went into this blog assuming I could still do that. Um....safe to say I cannot....I have like 200+ asks and I think I drafted a dozen or more that I answered but felt my art was too low effort. I felt so bad I couldn't put maximum effort into everything, and I've been beating myself up over it to a point where *no* asks are getting answered, and this blog went from a really fun thing I actually woke up early just to check on, to something I wanted to avoid like the plague for the past week out of guilt. DUE TO NOBODY'S FAULT BUT MY OWN, everyone has been so chill when I've had to take breaks so idk why I feel the need to hold myself hostage.
So I'm gonna try and take it easier, give myself a break when my personal life goes horribly, close my ask box periodically if I feel overwhelmed, maybe hop on here like once or twice a day rather than compulsively refreshing every 5 minutes...I hope that makes things better. I realize I should probably just *do* that without announcing it, but I have no self discipline and unless I announce I'm gonna do something, it's not gonna fuckin happen lmao.
Anyway if you read this far, here's the first panel of a sequel comic I made to the christmas one I posted last time I was on here, this one is *very* representative of my mindset the last week and will hopefully not reflect how I feel now that I survived december. I know for a fact there's mentions I haven't gotten to check yet so I'm gonna do that after laying down for a bit, here's to a chill 2025 where my social anxiety doesn't eat me alive
#river rambles#vent post#I'm hoping this'll be the last one of these I ever make lmao#I PROMISE I'M NOT TRYING TO SEEK PITY I JUST FEEL THE NEED TO EXPLAIN EVERYTHING I DO
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I can only take so much, but lately, they have replaced my reflection. And realize I'm just as bad as them.
#messyr#doodle#vent art#idk what im feeling but im just really tired- pessimistic and agitated lately#overthinking stuff about growth as a person LMAO. Envy that builds inferiority then dissolves into insecurity ew#ive yet to accept the truth that it will never get better- so i can only be there for others until i watch them go.#And I walk back to the same cage where I grew- bc the cage is all I know. I'd watch from afar and wait- wait for what? Idk#Genuinely happy and proud to those who worked hard for that success-- an ugly thought whispers to me thinking why cant I have the same#well- people w the same situations as me- knows how unfair life is so we work twice as hard. but sometimes... It's-- not enough.#And to an unfortunate fate- it'll never be enough. and it feels as if you amount to nothing.#I've been stuck for so long- I'm convinced enough that I cannot be helped. Still I cling onto the tiniest spark of hope.#bpd#abuse mention
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