#actually vent a bit cause tags make me comfortable for some reason | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

causmonaut · 1 year ago

Text

cw: no mentions of anything i’d say deserve a tw, but i do mention a term that can be a trigger, i think?

*************************************************************

also probably worth noting that i won’t consistently be adding trigger warnings or content warnings to my posts. not out of a lack of consideration for others, but because i’ll likely forget, and rarely talk about anything that is serious enough to tag. i might bring up terms or things here and there but in general, proceed with caution if you’re going to read anything in my #junkrant not junkrat tag.

the general assumption you should make about my posts tagged with #junkrant not junkrat are that:

u are reading a 21-year-old teenage girl’s (extremely icked out by myself for referring to myself this way but it is probably the most accurate description of how i sound in some of these) ANGSTY rants, and i might use language you’re not comfortable with. (duly note that this language does not include anything that is racist, homophobic, transphobic, ableist, or discriminatory in any way— unless i am referring to myself or people who are in my own sect of whatever intersectionality i’m a part of, and even then it is not malicious, serious, or a reflection of my genuine opinions or values). if you have a problem with anything i say, i’m willing to have a conversation about it, but please do not make assumptions based on what you think you know about me or my background based on surface level interactions you may have with me.

kind of adding on to the point above but, please also note that i am in therapy so i might talk about things i went over and sometimes this includes stuff that some people might not like to hear about! again, nothing explicit or graphic! i’m just a human with a long, wonky history of bad habits so if you don’t wanna read about any of it, look away!

a lot of this stuff is just me venting, and once i get it out i’m usually fine! but i’m putting it in a public space for a reason (being perceived helps a bit with accountability and also feeling heard). if you have anything to say, or guidance to give, i’d be more than happy to receive some nice words! it might take me a while to digest and reply to you but i promise i’ll say something if ever i feel that i don’t want feedback on a particular post, sum: if u send me a msg and i don’t respond, it’s likely because i’m busy, taking my time processing the message, or briefly forgot about tumblr, but i will get back to you!

*************************************************************

aaaand back with another post.

friend said (almost verbatim): “any pain you feel by paying attention to the things shes doing, that isn’t caused by a direct action of hers that is actually directed towards you, like contacting you, or indirecting you in an obvious way is self-inflicted, and you’re stupid for doing that to yourself. you can assume all you want, but don’t go searching for confirmation because there’s always a chance you’ll find some and you’ll be worse for wear. you know that, too.”

harsh! but also kind of !!!! reaffirmed something my other friend said to me too. the emotional self-h4ｒm is real? but it’s not even like that, i don’t think?

yes, i can admit that when i check on things, sometimes i’m not entirely sure why i do. sometimes it’s to calm the anxiety i feel, because i guess checking and potentially being wounded by something counts as a form of interaction with her. sometimes it’s because i get this inkling that she might have posted something that might confirm some worry i have— like her moving on, or being glad she let me go, etc. (<- spoiler alert by the way, a guy(?) is in the picture now which is so ouch!) sometimes i do check because i know i’ll likely see something that upsets me or bugs me in some way and even though i want to avoid all that hurt at all costs normally, in those moments i guess i convince myself that if i’m already feeling bad, i might as well make myself feel worse so that once i feel better.. i’ll feel a lot better (?) doesn’t make sense, does it?

yeah, now that i’ve typed it all out it definitely sounds… well!!! it sounds like emotional immaturity, and also emotional self-ouch. i’m sure there’s more to it but wow!!

i think i’ve been over this entire topic before but it’s just fresh on my mind because i did it again!

trying to remind myself that she’s shown me my worth to her twice now. the two times she’s turned away. and i’m showing myself my worth by chasing after someone who DGAF about anyone else but herself, really. <- sounds so bitter but there’s truth to it, i promise. we are talking girl who got annoyed about me being upset about her not giving me an anniversary gift because she still held the first breakup against me.. (more details i’m leaving out for the sake of my thumbs)

among other things^ because that wasn’t the only thing she did that kind of had me scratching my head every time because what is up with your mentality about these things ? do all incidents have to be black and white ? how come only one of us get to be hurt ?

anyway! i’m really trying to work on just?? focusing on other things.

term started so now i have to study my ass off but it’s tough to beat academic burnout, plus fatigue, plus floating thoughts that’ll have me bothered while i’m trying to concentrate.

considered taking the term off to relax and allow myself some time out of school but fafsa is oh-so-helpful. when else will i get paid this much to torture myself with assignments? also, i have plans to run away to europe for a month or two next year and i know i won’t be able to without the extra $$ in my pocket.

wishing i could travel and focus on me for the rest of forever but life!! is unfair!! and i wasn’t born to a family with money!! or pull!!! i think i’d be such a cool nepo baby.

sitting trying to gather any thoughts i have about ex, but everything is kinda gone right now. whatever i have to complain about is a given during breakups, i obviously just wish things ended up differently. and i’m disappointed in her for selling me a dream then taking it back within a few weeks, and disappointed in myself for letting her do that and continuing the relationship.

learned! a whole lot! just fear that if in the future i enter another relationship, i won’t have the best communication tools or might still carry some of the relationship insecurity i’ve gained over the little—but still impactful— experiences i’ve had in relationships.

over-summarized tldr: writer wants to know how to gain emotional maturity. writer wants to fast forward a month or two and zip to a place where she doesn’t feel so irritated or sad about the reality of things!

#junkrant not junkrat

0 notes

wormstacheangel · 4 years ago

Text

have some latinenatural for day 1 of @spnprideweek dean trying to come out to himself

Dean didn’t like going down this neighborhood. It never made him any money, plus the block is a dead end, so he always ends up circling back around with his heavy cart. His Tio always yelled at him for it, wasting precious time in a block where nobody paid him any attention because these Americanos aren’t used to people walking around selling comida.

Pero Dean always had one customer that always came running out whenever Dean came around, and he was worth the extra minutes he had to petal in the hot sun.

“Dean!”

Dean hears his name, expecting it but still feeling relief from hearing it. He looks ahead, his fingers stopped ringing the bells that have become background noise to him by now, and sees his favorite customer running out of the big white house Dean can only ever dream of renting. He wouldn’t ever dream of owning; he can’t have dreams so impossible.

Dean petals a little bit faster until he breaks in front of the pretty face he sees at least three times a week.

“Cas.” Dean practically beams at him even though he was trying to stay cool. Smooth. “Mi Angelito.” Dean winks, and he doesn’t miss Cas’s eyes widened and ears blushing at the nickname. “How you been?”

[continue reading under the cut or read on ao3]

Cas was dressed in his usual white button-up and slacks but they looked a lot more ruffled up than usual. His hair looked unkempt as it curled at the ends—Dean wasn’t complaining he loved it—and his typical neat shirt was wrinkled with sleeves pulled up to his elbows. He looked the guy up and down before his eyebrows creased together.

“You okay, Cas?”

“Yeah.” Cas sighed, shoulders slumping as he reached to run his hand through his hair—that probably explains the bed head—before smiling back at Dean with a deep breath. “Yeah. I’m fine.”

“If you say so.” Dean jumps off the bike and walks over to his cart. “The usual?”

“Please.”

Dean nods once before getting to work on a raspado de vainilla for Cas. He works in silence for a minute, just the sound of the ice scraping between them before Dean looks back at Cas.

“You know, si quieres, you can talk to me.” Dean looks up to see Cas was already watching him. “I know I’m a nobody, but I hear nobodies are great to vent to.”

“You aren’t a nobody, Dean.” Cas’s expression softens at the words. His eyes brighten as he looks at Dean, almost as if he can see into his soul. Then, just as Dean was about to drown in those baby blues, Cas looked away. His fingers started to twitch as he looked sheepishly at the ground. “Plus, my problems are small. I can deal with them by myself.”

Dean looks away, packing the ice into the cup before reaching to pour the vainilla as he talks. “Yeah, I know you can, pero; I just wanted to let you know that you don’t have to.”

Cas is nothing but a customer that Dean has been crushing on—it was a small, slow, and scary realization. The only reason they’re on a first-name basis now is because Cas once left his name tag on, and Dean asked what it meant.

Dean handed Cas his raspado across the cart, Dean needed to keep his distance, but he knew when Cas reached for it, their fingers would touch; he looked forward to the simple touch each time.

They did, and Dean’s breath catches in his throat before he works on chicharrones, lots of limon, and a little bit of chile.

“But I get it, you know, if you don’t want to talk to me.” Dean looks up to see Cas still staring at him but with eyes filling with tears. “Holy shit.” Dean put the bag down and walked around to stand by Cas’s side. He grabbed a napkin from his cart and handed it to Cas to wipe his eyes. “Dude. Dude, please no llores. Don’t cry. People are gonna think I did something to you, and I’ll lose customers.” Dean tries to joke, but Cas doesn’t crack a smile. Instead, he rolls his eyes.

“Dean, nobody but me ever comes out here.”

Dean shrugs. “Potential customers then.” Dean grabs another napkin and reaches to wipe the tears that were already falling. “Estas bien, Angelito. Talk to me.”

“I-I shouldn’t.” Cas accepts Dean’s kindness for a second longer before gently moving Dean’s hand away. “You’re working. Let me just pay you so you can stop wasting your time here.”

Dean nods, stepping away from Cas so as not to seem pushy. As much as he loved being so close to Cas’s face, he didn’t want to seem creepy about it. This neighborhood has eyes everywhere, and Dean couldn’t really risk having his cart, his livelihood, be taken away just cause he has a small crush on the white boy.

So Cas gives him the exact change to the quarter and smiles sadly before he waves goodbye. Dean waves back as he gets on his bike to pedal out of this neighborhood and into a more comfortable one. He didn't ring the bell until he was out of there.

Cas doesn’t come out to see him the next day or the day after that, and now he has to wait until next week to see him. If Cas still wanted to see him.

“I don’t know why you still go over there,” Sam says as he helps Dean unpack the car.

Dean’s side gigs included selling his homemade food Friday through Sunday—he can almost call himself a caterer—while on Thursday, he preps during the day and works as a janitor in a big law office at night. Today was Thursday, so Dean had to wake up early to go to the big marketplace downtown. They sold the chicharrones de harina in bulk for cheap, and they had all the ingredients he’ll need to make the syrups for the raspados himself.

Sam rarely comes with Dean to get all these things since he was always busy with school, but today he came along on the day that Dean ran out of maiz azul. It just meant more trabajo para los dos.

“Or why you still sell raspados when you make more money on the weekend with your food.” Sam continued as they struggled to carry the bag of maiz to the kitchen. They both let out a heavy breath when they finally dropped the bag in the kitchen. Dean’s going to spend the next hour cleaning and soaking the damn corn after this. That doesn’t even include cooking it and finally making the damn masa.

“El trabajo es duro but I like it.” Dean pats Sam’s shoulder before they go back to the car to get the rest of the things. “I like going down neighborhoods and saying hi to people.”

“I get that pero why do you have to go to their side of town?”

Dean doesn’t know how to answer that.

He hasn’t told anyone about Cas. About how one day he was bored and wandered over to that neighborhood only to find Cas laying on his front lawn with a book covering his face. Dean, for some reason, couldn’t help but to ring the bells louder, startling Cas. Dean laughed for half a second before a book went flying to his face, knocking him off his bike. Cas learned too many cuss words in Spanish that day, but the big bruise was worth it.

Still, Dean didn’t want to tell anyone about Cas. Afraid to even speak of him because that would mean that his crush was real. That he had actual feelings, romantic ones, for another guy.

He knows que su Tío no lo va sacar de la casa pero todavía Dean tenía miedo. He was scared to admit this part of himself was real when it felt like a sin in his culture. ¡Ser gay es una cosa pero bisexual! ¡Ni madres! That doesn’t exist. Not where he is from.

So he’ll keep it to himself. Keep Cas as his secret fantasy and nothing more.

“The houses are nice to look at. One day, Sammy!” Sam was already groaning at Dean’s words that sounded more like an old man’s recurring ‘when I was your age’ stories. “One day, I’ll get us a house like that! One where we can each have our own room. And bathroom.”

“Yeah. Yeah. Whatever. Let’s just finish this so I can go back to my homework.”

“¡Estas pendejo! After this, you’re gonna help me clean the bathroom and throw away the trash before Tio comes home.”

“But Dean,”

“¡Pero nada! ¡Piensas que soy pendejo como tu, pinche mamón! Don’t think I don’t know you spend that time babeando por tu novia.”

“Dean!” Sam quickly passes him in a huff of embarrassment while Dean laughed, following Sam back to the car to get more groceries.

When Monday rolls around, Dean forces himself to come down Cas’s street again. The bells rang softly at first, only getting louder as he came closer to the house. He didn’t see a car in sight, so he thinks maybe Cas isn’t home.

He was already pedaling away when he heard someone call out to him. He hits the breaks half haphazardly, and the gallons shake on his cart, threatening to fall out. He was about to turn around, but then he realizes he hears footsteps running closer, and then he hears heavy breathing by his ear.

“Fuck.” Cas hands rest on his knees as he tries to catch his breath. “Are you-are you trying to run away from me?” Cas looks up with a teasing smile, it was beautiful, and Dean didn’t realize how much he missed him until now. “I am your only customer around here, so that’s a pretty bad business decision if you ask me.”

“I-I didn’t think you wanted to see me.” Dean could have joked around with him, but instead, his mouth decided to kick the conversation off with some honesty. Dean looked down at the bike handles as he talked. “Since you didn’t come out last week, I just figured-”

“Oh.” Cas stood up straight as he ran a hand through his overgrown hair; his clothes looked neat again, though. “I didn’t mean to make you think-”

Dean holds his hand out to stop Cas from talking, feeling embarrassed with every word. “Para. You don’t have to explain. No me debes-you don’t owe me anything.”

“I know that, but I want to. Talk, I mean. If that’s okay with you.” Cas looks at Dean with soft, warm eyes, a drastic difference from the red-rimmed eyes from the last time they saw each other. “After you’re done with work, of course.”

“I um-I usually head home around six. I can um,” Dean rubbed at the back of his neck, not meeting Cas’s eyes as he carefully says. “I can come by after if you want.”

“I would like that.”

Dean's head shoots up to stare back at Cas, who looked shy, pero siempre más guapo que la última vez que Dean lo miró.

At that moment, Dean wanted to lean in and kiss him more than he has wanted to kiss anyone in his 26 years of life, but he won’t. He still wasn’t sure if this was Cas asking him out as a friend or as something more. He was scared, but he knew his heart raced in excitement more than anything.

Dean finally broke away from the staring contest as he cleared his throat to get off his bike. “Todavia quieres-Do you still want your raspado?”

“Oh. Sure!”

It was silent while Dean made raspado, but he couldn’t wait for their fingers to graze again when he handed the cup over to Cas.

“Just the raspado today.” Dean still loved when Cas said it, trying not to laugh even though he loved Cas’s embarrassed blushing. Cas reaches into his pocket, but Dean reaches to touch his shoulder to stop him.

“On the house.” Dean holds it out and just like before their fingers touch, burning him.

“No, Dean, I couldn’t.”

Dean shakes his head to stop him from arguing any further. He jumped back on his bike and looked back at Cas as he said, “You can get me something later. Is seven okay?”

“Seven is…perfecto.” Cas flinched at his Spanish, but Dean couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Pues, te miro mas tarde, Angelito.” Dean reached to pat Cas’s cheek before he started pedaling away.

“Dean! I don’t know what that means!” Cas calls out to him.

Dean doesn’t turn around to respond, mostly to hide the stupid shit-eating grin he had on his face. “I said I’ll see you later!” But he does wave goodbye, ringing the bell as he goes.

Dean really liked him, and it brought fear into his heart pero al mismo tiempo; he hasn’t been this excited to just be around someone in such a long time. So maybe this is his time to accept that maybe, for sure, he is crushing hard on a guy.

Dean sighs as he stops on the sidewalk to hang his head and quietly whispers, “For fucks sakes, soy un pinche gay.”

Well, at least he can admit to himself—sort of.

#spnprideweek #destiel #latinenatural #dean and sam are mexican #cas is the little white boy who comes and ruins lives #deancas #fic #destiel fic #my writing #wormstachewrites #porfa de ser nice over my spanish #this is dean coming out to himself btw #yeah he is bisexual but i think he'll use gay as an umbrella term for right now #sobrenatural #calinatural #tambien cause they live in California in my head

160 notes · View notes

laddieseddiemunster · 4 years ago

Note

make some dwayne and laddie headcannons, luv 💞

I shall. Hope you enjoy!

I made this long because why not :)

part 2 ->

Dwayne & Laddie Headcanons

Dwayne considers himself to be more of an older brother figure than a father figure to Laddie. He always buys the kid stuff, and plays with him. Laddie looks up to Dwayne, and wants to be like him. Laddie loves the other boys too, but with Dwayne it’s different. They connect more, and Dwayne always makes sure Laddie is in one piece. That’s the main reason why Laddie rides with Dwayne. The other guys are so reckless, while Dwayne is the only one that will drive somewhat safely.

Dwayne has always been pretty protective over Laddie. It’s mainly because he’s young, and other kids tend to pick on him for that. Dwayne wont stand for it though. He always defends Laddie and usually the bully’s will back off once they see Dwayne backing him up. Sometimes Laddie still get upset over it. He wishes he was a bit older, so he could defend himself. Dwayne cant exactly help him with that, so he tries to comfort Laddie the best he can.

Speaking of comforting, Dwayne is the only one out of the boys that Laddie can comfortably vent to. Paul and Marko probably wouldn’t understand, and David would probably just tell him to get over it. Dwayne on the other hand will listen to Laddie, and give him some advice. Poor Laddie sometimes gets homesick, and misses his parents. They weren’t the best parents in the world, but that doesn’t stop him from missing them. Dwayne feels sorry for the kid since there isn’t much he could do to make him feel better. He usually just pats him on the head while messing with his hair and tells him that his parents still miss and love him.

Dwayne sometimes vents to Laddie, but it isn’t very often. Dwayne doesn’t want to worry the kid, so he usually just keeps it to himself. The only times that Dwayne will vent to Laddie is if the boy had just vented to him, so he’ll vent to him back. Laddie usually doesn’t understand what exactly Dwayne is talking about when he vents, but he still sits and listens. Dwayne actually prefers that Laddie doesn’t always understand. He usually goes, “Do you understand me, kiddo?” and Laddie will respond with, “Nope.”

Laddie is a little trouble maker, and he learned a lot of bad habits from the boys. For example, the boys tend to cuss a lot, so naturally, Laddie started to cuss too. Dwayne tried to teach Laddie not to cuss because it’s a bad habit, but it’s a little difficult when the other boys including himself cuss in almost every sentence that comes out of their mouths.

Going back to Laddie being homesick, sometimes the kid just gets a little depressed. He misses his family, and he doesn’t really have anyone to talk to. In his new life he can basically do whatever he wants, but he does miss his real family. Laddie pretty much always seeks to Dwayne for comfort. He’ll usually sit on Dwayne’s lap or just stick by him more, so he has someone near him. Just knowing that Dwayne is there when he needs him is enough comfort to make Laddie feel a little bit better.

Laddie is pretty aware of what exactly he is, and sometimes he gets nightmares. The first one that he had Dwayne was there to wake him up. Dwayne had been the only one awake when he heard Laddie whimpering from his bed. Dwayne had came over and realized that Laddie was having a nightmare, so he woke the kid up. Dwayne noticed that the boy was trembling so he asked him what happened, but he was responded with a sob and tears. Dwayne took Laddie into his arms, and tried his best to calm him down. Dwayne decided not to ask too many questions about it, and instead he put Laddie to bed again and stayed with him until he knew that Laddie was sound asleep.

Laddie is pretty much always with Dwayne on the boardwalk. And, that’s because the other guys aren’t very good at keeping a good watch on Laddie. The last time Dwayne left Laddie with Paul, Laddie had gotten lost because Paul was talking to some girls. Dwayne wanted to throttle Paul, but he was relieved that Laddie was not hurt. For now on, Paul isn’t allowed to watch Laddie unless someone else is with them. Dwayne doesn’t wanna risk Laddie getting lost again.

Dwayne always makes sure that Laddie has a great time whenever they’re on the boardwalk. He’ll make sure to take the kid on his favorite rides even if he’s not tall enough for them. Dwayne will just use some mind tricks to make the worker think Laddie is tall enough. He always makes sure to take Laddie to the arcade, and if he wins the game, Dwayne will get some ice cream for him. He also pretty much always gets Laddie a toy. Dwayne wants Laddie to be a kid as long as he can, so he let’s him act like a kid.

Dwayne pretty much always makes sure that Laddie stays out of trouble, but they do have moments of mischief. Occasionally, they’ll pull pranks on the other guys or Star. Dwayne usually lets Laddie pull the pranks because he knows that the guys won’t get too mad at the kid. If it’s Dwayne on the other hand then they might start wrestling. They pull pretty harmless pranks like using whoopee cushions on Paul, stealing Marko’s keys, or taking Star’s jewelry. They dont pull pranks on David because well it’s David.

Dwayne and Laddie also have a lot of games that they play together. A common one that they play a lot is hide and seek. Laddie prefers to be the hider, so that’s usually how they play it. Dwayne is actually very good at finding Laddie, but sometimes he lets the kid win just to make him happy. Also, Dwayne is so good at hiding that sometimes Laddie will just give up. That’s another reason why Dwayne doesn’t usually hide. Since he’s a vampire he moves really quick, and that pretty much doesn’t give Laddie a chance. Normally, Dwayne will hide in an easy spot, so Laddie can win.

Another game they do that happens almost every day is play fighting. It’s one of Laddie’s favorites because he gets to wrestle. Dwayne will always go easy on Laddie because the last thing he’d want to do is hurt the kid. It usually happens in one of the bedrooms on the bed, so Laddie has somewhat of a chance by standing on the bed. Dwayne pretty much always lets Laddie win by pretending to be pinned to the bed. Dwayne will go “Ohh you win,” with his arms ‘pinned’ above his head by Laddie. But if Laddie says something like “Yeah! You’re weak!” then it’s curtains for Laddie. Dwayne will flip him over so now he’s on top, and then the play fight turns into a tickle fight. Dwayne will tickle the hell out of Laddie until the kid is screaming with laughter. Then he’ll go “I win,” with a smile.

One game that happens a couple times a day is tag, or like the cat and mouse chase. It usually starts if Laddie says something cheeky to Dwayne, and then Dwayne will say something like “Now you’re gonna get it!” but in a playful way of course, and then Laddie starts to run away. Dwayne let’s Laddie win pretty much every game they play, except for this one. Dwayne has an advantage because he’s bigger than Laddie, and he uses that advantage. He will run after Laddie, and he will catch him. When he does catch the kid the game turns into them play fighting. Dwayne isn’t upset at all over whatever Laddie said, he’s just playing around. While Laddie is trying to protect himself from being tickled to death.

This one isn’t exactly a game, but more of bonding time between the two. Dwayne is the only one out of the boys to like skateboarding, and that caught Laddie’s interest. Dwayne has no problem with Ladde wanting to learn how to skateboard, and he’s happy to help the kid learn. It’d be harder for Laddie to learn since Dwayne’s skateboard is almost half his size, but Dwayne still helps him learn the basics. He’ll help the kid with balance by holding his hands until Laddie can balance on his own. Eventually, Laddie will learn to ride on his own, and then Dwayne would buy him his own smaller skateboard.

A game that sometimes the other guys will play is cards, but there is a twist to it. The loser has to do a dare that the winner says. Dwayne taught Laddie how to play games like blackjack, 21, and fish, he also played a little bad sometimes just to let Laddie win. Eventually, Dwayne didn’t need to do that, because Laddie started to get really good at playing cards. It got to the point where Laddie was getting so good at it that Dwayne would still loose even if he was trying hard to win. Since Dwayne looses most of the time, he has to do a dare that Laddie chooses. Normally, Laddie chooses a pretty easy dare, like Dwayne has to buy him a toy, but sometimes Laddie does do some pretty extreme dares, like he’ll make Dwayne ask out some old lady on the Boardwalk. Of course, if Laddie does one of those dares, Dwayne will end up getting Laddie back for it by playing the cat and mouse game.

This isn’t a game, but it’s something that Dwayne and Laddie do for fun. When the boys are at the boardwalk, Dwayne will occasionally take Laddie to the pet shop. Laddie has a lot of fun petting all the animals since they can have any pets in the cave. Laddie has always wanted a pet, but David has always said no. So, when Laddie is at the pet shop he makes sure to play with all the pets, but he doesn’t have much time too cause by the time they get there the pet shop has to close soon. Dwayne will sometimes pet the animals along with Laddie, but animals don’t really like vampires, so they just kind of growl at him. For some reason they like Laddie though.

Another game they play every now and then is a game that is similar to the cat and mouse and hide and seek. But, it’s a little bit different. It starts off by Laddie making a fort out of all the blankets and pillows from the cave, and Dwayne will play the roll of a bear or the big bad wolf and he’ll try to destroy the fort. Laddie will win the game most of the time by keeping his fort together in one piece, unless Dwayne is really in the mood to win. If he is, then this big bad wolf turns into the tickle monster, and he’ll break into the fort to start his attack. Laddie has no chance of escaping if that happens, Dwayne is far too strong for him. The tickle monster wins again. (Creds to marked4mated on wattpad for this idea).

The boys never really serve Laddie anything but junk food. Fortunately for Laddie, Dwayne knows how to cook, and he can cook well. They only problem is they don’t have a kitchen, so they either have to use Max’s kitchen, or they have to go to a friends house. Dwayne usually cooks something simple for Laddie, but what’s he’s really good at is baking. Dwayne usually bakes cookies since they’re easy to make and Laddie loves them. If they’re using Max’s kitchen then Dwayne will mess it all up on purpose. Like he’ll start a food fight with Laddie and totally dirty up the whole kitchen, and he won’t clean it.

120 notes · View notes

just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi · 4 years ago

Text

Contemplative Raccoon Times pt IV

This is just me talking to myself for like 900 words. Not really story related to anyone. Also me talking about how I interact with NSFW content.

It’s kinda like a vent? Idk I just like processing this stuff like this so. You’re under no obligation to read it just me talking to myself okie doke drink your water and have a good day loves 💛

I’ve been thinking a lot about the assumptions that I grew up with. I’m not going to get into them, but I was raised pretty conservative. I’m taking this point in my life to really question them and see what I think on subjects.

I like this world a lot better.

Lately, the one that I’ve really been looking into is how I relate to sexual or NSFW content. It was something that I was taught to be shunned, to not really be talked about or discussed. And for me, it was really easy to just hand wave. In fact, I didn’t understand why everyone else was so hung up on it?? Like, it’s not that deep??

And then I found out I’m Ace lol. Queue the “OHH” sound effect.

But really tho, it’s just not something I tend to think about. But now, I’m circling in this; “Do i disregard it from pure disinterest or because I’ve been told I should?”

I like NSFW whump. I follow blogs that mainly do it, I have troupes I like and all that. There is some incredibly fantastic writers in the community and I love them all dearly. Artists and writers and creatives of all types.

I just can’t write it. I’ve tried, really. I had an old OC that I wrote like 2 pieces for and then I had to scrap because it felt so deeply incorrect for some reason. Again, I like NSFW whump, it was just something about me writing it. I scrapped him.

If anyone remembers Mark Davies, one of the reasons I had trouble relating to his story was that it included Romantic training in the BBU. I struggled with it, and eventually had to drop him as an OC because of it.

If it’s just that NSFW is not interesting to me, that’s fine. I don’t really care. BUT, if it’s that I have some sort of hang ups about the “appropriateness” of NSFW whump… mnmnmnm i don’t like that. So i’ve really been thinking and examining how I interact with this type of content.

And I still don’t know.

As for me writing it, I think it’s just a side effect of how I write. All of my characters are me. Really. They are all part of my personality that I added other bits to until they seemed like a different person, but I’m the root of their emotions. I find it incredibly therapeutic.

Silver is that chaotic angry energy from graduating college and then realizing that the world is bigger than you thought and you’ve ignored parts of yourself and other people for so long cause you were told you were supposed to so now you just want to try everything and sure maybe you’re making some dumb choices but they’re your dumb choices and you don’t want to live your life based on other people’s mistakes so you just keep running and going and doing. I’ve settled in that mindset, but I still know it well so whenever I want to write for Silver I use that as a base. He’s me.

Brody is my people pleasing side. He’s how I dealt with bullies (true story). I used to tell myself/other people “People don’t hit things they think are cute as hard.” It’s the way that I ingratiate myself to people I don’t trust, it’s the only armor I feel like I have sometimes. So, by writing through Brody I get to examine that and grow in it and through it. I get to work through that stuff and have fun while I write! It’s perfect! He’s me.

Tool/JJ is shame. Just, the shame that I lump onto myself. Academic shame, personal shame, any type of shame. How it controls you and how it can turn yourself into someone else. I haven’t stated a lot their story yet, but I know how they react to things that will happen in the future and I’m laying the groundwork for it now. They’re me.

Nik… aw sweet baby Nik. Nik came from this inherent feeling of being trapped that I felt for a long time. Of course, I didn’t realize what I was doing at the time but I can see it now. That actually came to light IRL and I dealt with it, but when it comes back up I feel myself gravitating back to Nik. He’s me.

(That doesn’t mean that every whump piece is me having an existential crisis - just that I tend to build characters off aspects of myself because that makes them easier to relate to. I do just enjoy making up stories and torturing them as well lol)

So when I look at my characters; they’re all me. And I’m not personally comfortable with/interested in personal sexual expression, and it bleeds over into them. Even when I tried to make an OC specifically for it, it bled over again and I couldn’t go through with it.

What is the point of this post??? I dunno. I have such a weird push and pull with NSFW whump where I’m right at the line and I suddenly pull away. I’m still not sure where I stand, I’m still not sure how I interact with it. I guess I just wanted to be open and honest with y’all.

Also the idea of #raccoon after dark is a brilliant name for a NSFW tag and I kinda want to use it.

#CRT #hehe #Contemplative raccoon times #it's back babey #vent #kinda #personal

20 notes · View notes

metaphorical-love-for-a-car · 5 years ago

Text

Sunshine After Rain-- Connor (RK800) x Reader (Part 4)

Summary; After the death of your little brother, Cole, your dad hated androids. He blamed them for Cole's death. Hank couldn't stand to be around them. How the hell are you supposed to tell him that your soulmate is an android?

Warnings; swearing, shitty writing that has not been edited at all

Word Count; 2.9k

Notes; I’ll post the last part tomorrow morning!! Then I’ll move on to original fics lol

You sat on the bench and covered your face with your hands. That was not at all how you wanted it to go. You wanted to sit Hank down and discuss it with him— mainly when he was sober. Connor sat next to you. You let your hands fall into your lap and stared straight ahead. You could tell he was staring at you. "You seem troubled." You let out a sardonic laugh.

"Yeah, no shit, Sherlock." You turned to face him and realized that he was actually concerned. "Look, I'm sorry. I'm just... a bit stressed is all," you sighed. Connor nodded.

"I understand. I suppose I have been experiencing a sense of stress as well. I was designed to hunt down deviants. I'm supposed to be a machine, nothing more. Then I met you, and I've begun to doubt everything." You each looked into each other's eyes for a moment. You broke eye contact and looked at his hands, carefully taking one into your own. You turned to look at the city lights. This time, you saw just how beautiful they really were in their full color. You pulled away from him to stand, quietly walking away. Connor didn't move. He was too deep in thought... which made him the perfect target.

You knelt down and scooped up a small pile of snow, forming it into a sphere. A wicked smile crossed your face as you stood once more. You narrowed your eyes, focusing on the sitting duck before you. You were more aiming for his back, but the place it hit was even better. The snowball hit the back of Connor's head with a soft thump. The android quickly leapt to his feet. His LED was flashing. You laughed, scooping up another snowball. He seemed confused. "(y/n), what exactly are you doing?" You threw the snowball at him. Since he was anticipating it, Connor easily dodged the projectile.

"It's a snowball fight. You throw snow at each other until someone gives up. We used to have giant wars all the time when we were kids." While you knelt down to make a couple more snowballs, Connor grinned mischievously.

"Are you sure you want to have a snowball fight with me, (y/n)?"

"Of course, I wouldn't have started one otherwise," you scoffed. Next thing you knew, you were being pelted by perfectly round balls of snow. You squealed as some of the snow made its way down your back. You ran behind a tree for cover. You somehow managed to hit him a few times, but you were pretty sure it was because he was going easy on you.

About ten minutes into the battle, you tried to dodge one and ended up getting yourself hit in the head. Sure, it hurt, considering your mishap earlier, but you dramatized it. You fell to your knees and held your head, hissing a couple swears. You heard Connors footsteps rapidly approaching. He knelt down beside you, placing a hand on your back. "(y/n), are you-" He was interrupted by you shoveling snow in his face with a maniacal laugh. Connor did not look amused.

"I'm sorry, Connor. I just couldn't help myself," you explained in between laughs. Connor noticed you had started shivering and suggested that you head back. He helped you to your feet. The two of you started walking back to Hank's car, occasionally bumping shoulders along the way. As soon as you got the engine started, you cranked the heat all the way up and held your hands over the air vents.

"Should we attempt to track down Hank?" You shook your head.

"No, he's probably too drunk to reason with at this point. I'm probably just gonna head back to my place. He's a big boy now. He knows how to walk home. I'll just pick him up in the morning." You paused, turning in the seat in order to fully face Connor. "I know you don't sleep, so where do you go at night?"

"I usually stay at the precinct in the designated area for androids on standby." You wrinkled your nose.

"That sounds boring. You're more than welcome to hang out at my place if you want. It's not very big, but I have plenty of things to read. You can watch TV too if you want, or… I don't know," you rambled, fiddling with the hem of your shirt. Connor grinned.

"I would like that. Thank you, (y/n)." You smiled back at him, driving toward your apartment complex.

You groaned as your alarm started screaming at you to wake up. Your head was killing you, and you wanted nothing more than to chuck the contraption out the window. You reached into the nightstand drawer and pulled out a bottle of painkillers. You swallowed two of the pills and returned the bottle to its place. As you sat up, a certain scent hit your nose that caused you to shuffle into the kitchen at a slightly faster pace than usual. Your eyes widened at the sight. A smile grew across your face. "Connor, you cooked breakfast?" The android held out a plate of pancakes alongside various fruits.

"I wanted to thank you for allowing me into your home last night, and, as the expression goes, breakfast is the most important meal of the day." He smiled at you. If he were any more adorable than at this very moment, you would have surely imploded. You gently took the plate from his hands, and you could feel the heat rising in your cheeks as you sat on the couch. After you finished eating, you quickly got ready for work. You still had to pick up Hank, and there was no doubt in your mind that he would be hungover and a pain in the ass to get up.

You parked his old car in front of his house. You and Connor used your spare set of keys to get into the house. "Dad! Wake up, it's time to get ready for work!" you hollered as the two of you entered the home. You walked into the kitchen and pulled out a bin full of dog food from one of the cabinets. Sumo padded into the kitchen and wagged his tail at the sight of you filling his food bowl.

"Hello, Lieutenant." You poked your head around the corner when you heard Connor greet Hank. Much to your surprise, he was dressed and ready to go. You opened your mouth to comment on it, but Hank raised a hand to stop you.

"Yeah, yeah, I know, but the last thing I need is another document in my disciplinary file just for being late." You tossed him the car keys. He stuffed them in his pocket. "Well, what are we waiting for? Let's go."

Not long after entering the precinct, Hank and Connor were pulled aside to be given a new case. You sat at your desk and laid your head down for a moment. Your head was still throbbing, and the last thing you wanted to do was paperwork. You skipped out on doing any yesterday since you tagged along with Hank. Now the mass of papers on your desk resembled a mountain.

After what seemed like an eternity of doing paperwork, you felt like you were doing insane. You could've sworn that you were starting to smell sounds. Enough is enough. You stood from your desk and sauntered into the break room. As you walked through the bullpen, you heard Gavin mention to someone that he needed some coffee. You smiled and fixed your own cup. You quickly swapped the tops of the salt and sugar shakers. When you saw Gavin enter the small room, you snatched a donut from one of the many boxes littering the counter. He gave you a curt nod as he fixed himself some coffee. You bit the inside of your cheek to keep yourself from laughing when he dumped what he assumed was sugar into the dark liquid. He took a sip of the coffee and grimaced down at the mug. You burst out laughing. Gavin narrowed his eyes at you as he realized you had sabotaged his drink, but he wasn't going to give you the satisfaction of it. Maintaining eye contact, Gavin lifted the drink back up to his lips and drank every last drop of the salty liquid. You gaped at him, shocked that he actually drank it. He set the cup on the counter and gave you the middle finger. "Try again next time, (y/n)." Gavin turned on his heel and left you dumbfounded.

You continued to eat the donut in your hand while nursing your coffee. You saw Hank and Connor walk in. Hank went straight to his desk, while Connor roamed around. He looked like he was looking for something. He turned towards the break room and caught sight of you. You had finished your snack and was throwing away the trash. Without warning, a pair of arms wrapped around you and a head rested on your shoulder. Colors began to fill in the objects around you. You furrowed your brows, wondering what brought on this sudden burst of affection from the android. You turned to face him. He kept his hands on your arms while you cupped his face with your own. Something was seriously bothering him. "What's wrong?" Connor drew in a shaky breath.

"We were on the roof of Stratford Tower. A damaged deviant was left behind, and I tried to probe its memory. Then... then it self-destructed. Right after it shot itself, I felt it die." His grip on your arms slightly tightened. "It felt like I was dying. I was... I was scared, (y/n)." You gently rubbed your thumb against his cheek. He leaned into your touch. There was no doubt that he was terrified. You could see it written all over his face. You pulled him into an embrace, which he gladly accepted. He was still fighting an internal battle, trying to decide whether he was a living being or not. He needed comfort, which is something he saw in you. For the rest of the afternoon, Connor didn't stray far from your side. He almost reminded you of a lost puppy.

The next morning, you walked out of the kennel that was located in the back of the precinct, only to run into a familiar face. You smiled up at the android. "G'morning," you greeted.

"Good morning, (y/n). Hank and I will be going to Elijah Kamski's residence in five minutes. Would you like to accompany us on this case?" You softly laughed at how formal Connor was. He watched your reaction curiously.

"Yeah, I feel like he'd be an interesting person to meet." Connor grinned at your response. The two of you tracked down Hank and followed him to his old, beat up car. You and Hank had yet discussed the whole soulmate situation. In fact, you both had kind of been avoiding it. He was too stubborn to bring it up first, and you just weren't sure how to approach the subject seeing as how he reacted last time. Despite this, the car ride wasn't too terrible, other than Hank forcing you and Connor to listen to heavy metal nonstop. As he parked near the front of Kamski's place, Hank got a phone call from one of your fellow officers-- Chris. Turns out, he was attacked by a group of deviants but ended up being saved by Markus, the leader of the deviant rebellion.

The three of you hopped out of the car. You wrapped your coat tighter around yourself as the cold air and snow hit your face. As you all walked up to the front door, Connor asked why Hank wanted to meet Kamski. "This guy created the first android to pass the Turing test, and he's the founder of CyberLife. If anybody can tell us about deviants, it's him," Hank answered as if it was obvious. He rang the doorbell, and you three waited several minutes for someone to answer.

"This guy better answer soon or we're gonna turn into popsicles." Hank rolled his eyes at you. You all perked up when the door swung open, revealing a blonde android.

"Hi, uh, I'm Lieutenant Hank Anderson from the Detroit Police Department. We're here to see, er, Mr. Elijah Kamski," he stuttered out. You gave him an odd look.

"Please, come in." She smiled sweetly and motioned you all inside.

"Very smooth, dad," you said in a hushed tone.

"Shut up, (y/n)." You followed the android lady inside. She told the three of you to make yourselves comfortable while she let Kamski know you all had arrived. Hank sat down in a nearby chair. You stared at the giant portrait of Kamski that was in front of you.

"Very humble man, wouldn't you agree?" You turned to Connor, sarcasm dripping from your words. He hummed, nodding.

"Yes, you can hardly tell he's a billionaire," Connor answered just as sarcastically. You beamed.

"Nice, you're finally starting to understand slang and sarcasm." Connor looked slightly proud, taking in your statement as a compliment. You took a seat across from Hank as Connor continued to analyze the threshold. Hank made a couple comments about Connor meeting his creator but otherwise stayed pretty quiet. You all looked up when Kamski's android returned.

"Elijah will see you now," she announced before leading the three of you into another room, which contained an indoor pool. You noticed that he had a couple more androids, all the same model. You all awkwardly stood off to the side, waiting for Kamski to finish his laps around the pool. As he climbed out of the water, one of his many androids wrapped a robe around him.

"I'm Lieutenant Hank Anderson, this is Detective (y/n), and Connor," Hank introduced you all.

"What can I do for you, officers?" Hank informed Kamski that they were investigating deviants and that any information he had would be useful to them. He remained silent, thinking.

"Holy shit, he looked so much like Gavin," you muttered under your breath. Kamski hummed.

"Yes, my half-brother works in the same department as you two. Now, deviants... Fascinating, aren't they? Perfect beings with infinite intelligence, and now they have free will." He went on to talk about how androids are better than humans, spouting a bunch of philosophical junk you didn't bother to follow. Hank asked Kamski to tell him something useful or you would all be on your way. Instead of addressing the topic at hand, Kamski approached Connor. "How about you, Connor? What do you really want?"

"I fail to see how that matters with what we are currently trying to discuss." Kamski said nothing for a moment, staring Connor down. He then called over one of his androids, Chloe. He explained that the Turing test is merely a formality. What interested him is whether machines are capable of empathy or not. He opened a drawer and pulled out a gun. Chloe sat on her knees. He handed the weapon to Connor.

"Destroy this machine, and I'll tell you all I know. Or spare it, if you feel it's alive, but you'll leave here without having learnt anything from me." Connor held the gun as his LED flashed wildly. Hank tried to get Connor to put the gun down, but Kamski kept egging him on. "Decide who you are. An obedient machine or a living being endowed with free will? Pull the trigger, and I'll tell you all that you want to know."

"Connor." The RK800 turned his head to look at you. You opened your mouth to say something but closed it, thinking of the right words to say. "You already know the answer to who you are. I've seen it over the past few days. You don't have to be scared." Kamski's eyes flickered between the two of you. Connor lowered the gun, keeping his eyes trained on you.

SOFTWARE INSTABILITY.

"Fascinating..." Kamski breathed. "CyberLife's last chance to save humanity is itself a deviant."

"I'm..." Connor trailed off, looking troubled. Kamski started talking philosophically again, and Hank grumbled about how you all should just get out of there. An idea popped into your head.

"I could tell you just how alive androids are in exchange for a piece of information." Kamski turned towards you, intrigue filling his eyes.

"Go on." You took Connor's hand into your own. The android visibly calmed. You gave him a reassuring smile before looking at Kamski once more.

"Androids have more in common with humans than you realize. They have soulmates too." Kamski's eyes widened as he stepped closer to the two of you.

"It's not possible."

"As much as I doubted it too, they're telling the truth." You looked over at Hank. He nodded at you, a soft smile tugging at the corner of his lips. Kamski stepped back, turning to look out of the large window. He was quiet for a moment but eventually held his end of the bargain.

"I always install an emergency exit in all of my programs. You never know..." he trailed off with a shrug. The three of you looked at each other, confusion written all over your features. When Kamski said nothing else, you all took that as your cue to leave.

~*~*~

Want to be added to a tag list? Follow the link in my bio or just click here!

Permanent Tag List:

@blitchen

@blitchen-fics

@phire23

Sunshine After Rain Tag List:

@creation-magician

@mysteriouswritingzonthewall

@vix360

@nincomplexity

Connor (RK800) Tag List:

@sammyyyygp

Detroit Become Human Tag List:

@katsavoie17

@dumb-ass-ghost

@peter-the-pan

@bucky-blogs

79 notes · View notes

xthexrawringx20sx · 4 years ago

Note

who are your comfort characters? wanna talk about them for a bit? :)

oh my god thank you so much!!!!! i actually went to my computer so i can type better/faster with shaky hands lol

added a read more because it’s long

tw for: hallucinations/delusions, idk what else let me know if i need to tag it!

okay so...some of these are because i’m a dumb kinnie but yeah lmao

uh. basically the entire avengers group, but specifically the first movie time period. yknow the fanfictions about them all living in the same place and clint climbing around the vents and thor eating poptarts? yeah, that kind. kinda cringy but i used to vividly daydream living there and them all being my friends.

in a similar note, the most popular creepypastas that were involved in the “slender mansion” type of fanfic/headcanons are also super comforting! i used to imagine that ticci toby, ben drowned, and jeff the killer were all like. my best friends and we’d have huge cuddle piles or whatever lmao

the grunkles from gravity falls! i’m a dipper kin so i guess that makes sense, but even before i knew that they were super comforting. stan because he’s grumpy but still cares about his family, and also just...how easily he accepted people into his family (like when it shows how/why he offered wendy a job, soos, etc). ford because he’s weird!! and everyone’s pretty cool with that! honestly everyone in that show is comforting because they’re weird and it’s okay! seeing how he’d be so involved with whatever dipper was obsessed with made me so happy.

also winnie the pooh! it reminds me of when i was a kid and had sleepovers with my nanny (grandma) because i moved schools a lot and was bullied constantly so i never really had any friends. we’d watch winnie the pooh, chitty chitty bang bang, milo and otis, and sometimes random movies with jackie chan/abbott and costello/elvis because they were her favorite. also mary poppins! i remember she’d let me stay up late and watch whatever i wanted as long as i didn’t tell my parents about some of the games she played on her computer. that was my favorite, because i could watch adult swim and teen titans and goosebumps without getting in trouble

anya from anya’s ghost! i’ve mentioned this before, but she is such a big comfort to me. her negative body image, developing bad habits just to fit in, and forcing herself to change to just...disappear/be “normal�� is so relatable. especially when she talks about how her mom is an immigrant from russia and she’s trying to leave all that behind. i really relate to that because that’s something i’ve experienced a lot and felt so alone with it (my mom + grandma are from germany). that distance from who you are, knowing almost nothing about your family, is hard. i’d hear classmates list off family members who were some of the first europeans in america, then i’d be able to back 1-2 generations to say something about germany, and on my dad’s side irish and native american. but that was it! and everyone on both sides of my family know almost nothing about our family past that because here it was a reason to be bullied or hurt. kids would joke that i was from space, or that i was a robot or a bad person and i was “hiding” stuff about my family. i dealt with horrible jokes about world war two. and once i read that book, i cried knowing that someone else understood. someone else felt alone, like that part of them that was supposed to be so important was just...gone. that someone else knew their parents + their siblings, their grandparents, and nothing else.

all of welcome to nightvale. all kin stuff aside, this is about the weirdness and how normal it is. but also, how janice is treated specifically. in old oak doors, when kevin is telling her dad about how they’ll basically “fix her” so she can walk, he tells him that she doesn’t need to be fixed. all my life, any sort of disability has been viewed as either my fault or something that needs to be fixed. my parents tried everything to cure my diabetes, and it eventually led to them blaming me for it at parts of my life where i was still coming to terms with it. i wasn’t diagnosed with anything for most of my life, my mom genuinely thought my scoliosis just “went away” along with asthma. disability was a bad word in my family, and still is. if i can’t fix the issue, i’m supposed to hide it/act like everyone else. they shame me when i can’t do a bunch of things because of my legs or back. they tell me every way i can fix it, even if those things will cause me more pain and suffering. it’s nice to see someone’s disability treated like a part of them, and not something that needs curing.

dan torrance from the shining/doctor sleep. especially doctor sleep. i know they’re not hallucinations, but when i saw it i just...felt so much for him. i’ve tried a lot of things to get rid of hallucinations. some of which i still struggle with. i kind of sometimes imagine him telling me that it’s okay, that they might seem real but that i’m in control even when it doesn’t feel like it. the part of the movies where he locks them in boxes? that’s one of my coping skills. it doesn’t always work but it makes me feel better when it does. i can’t always convince myself they’re not real. that’s the hardest part, so many of the advice i see involving hallucinations/delusions is making yourself believe they’re fake. but i can’t always do that! like right now, i know logically what is outside shouldn’t be there. but they’re there, they’re big and scary and very real. it helps to feel like someone’s there telling me “it’s okay, we’ve seen scarier and can make it through this”. not anything like “it’s in your head”, “they’re not real”, etc because they are and it makes me feel like i can’t trust people when they do that randomly.

that’s all i can think of right now, thank you so much it helps me a ton to just ramble like this! sorry it’s so long and probably a little embarrassing...have a wonderful day/night!!

#thank you!#hallucinations #tw hallucinations #tw delusions #tw psychosis #psychosis tw #i think that's all?#comfort characters #asks

2 notes · View notes

shroudedhero · 4 years ago

Text

Mobile Friendly Rules

Since I did it for Kurai’s info, here’s the rules (the updated ones)

THESE ARE JUST A FEW GENERAL THINGS I FEEL ARE IMPORTANT TO BE ADDRESSED BEFORE I GO ANY FURTHER, SO PLEASE TAKE THE TIME TO READ THEM.

I know they seem long but some of it is also just information I thought was important for you to know before interacting with me. NOTE: THERE IS A PASSWORD FOR THIS BLOG DUE TO SEVERAL PAST BAD EXPERIENCES WITH UNTAGGED TRIGGERS (and it is the ONLY reason I have a password. I won’t throw a fit if you don’t send it, but I do usually feel more comfortable if you do).

Also another small, but extremely important note beforehand: Due to my autism, I tend to try to be extra clear (but also sometimes manage to be less clear in the process), or in my head it is clear, but to other people, it comes across entirely differently, but I’ve been informed this makes my rules sometimes come across as more aggressive, exclusionary, or mean. So I will say this now. I am actually a MASSIVE fluffball. Quite literally. The tone they come across is mainly due to overexplaining however I have tried to edit them and have yet to find a way to redefine my rules in better wording that I am happy with and that feels like it covers everything while actually being properly clear (but whenever I finally think of the right wording, I usually update my rules). So just approach them with the knowledge I am actually legitimately a sweetheart and my brain just sucks at actually wording stuff.

If you followed me over here when I moved Kurai’s BNHA verse to this blog, I removed and edited a couple of rules so please read through them again.

- ★ First and most important thing is that the mun has a very serious cannibalism trigger, which includes ANY form of people being eaten (including animals or monsters or any such other creatures eating people). (Excluding vampires, as that doesn’t typically involve the eating of human flesh, and rather simply blood itself (I am COMPLETELY fine with blood and general dark and gorey things). Zombies however, are included). As such, please tag all SNK or Hannibal related posts with such things in them, even the ones without such scenes in them, due to the fact that these two shows/fandoms are the reason I learned I have this trigger, and so the entire thing now can cause my trigger due to association, and memory connection to it. Also I ask that you tag any other shows/fandoms/gifs with such things in them as well. Please and thank you very much. My blacklisted tags are: SNK, Shingeki No Kyojin, Attack On Titan, AoT, tokyo ghoul, tg, Hannibal, Cannibalism, tw: cannibalism, parasyte, tokyo ghoul, twd, the walking dead, walking dead, zombies, and hunting trophies. Any form of these (capitalization does not matter, however spaces do) will be caught by my blacklist, so I would appreciate it if you’d use one of these for those posts (though I am also happy to add other tags to it as well if you have a specific system you use already). Also suggestions for other possible blacklist tags that I may have forgotten are much appreciated. Also as an added note, I will not follow, RP with, or associate in ANY WAY, any blogs that have to do with my triggers. (Multi-muse blogs can sometimes be okay, this more applies to blogs that post SPECIFICALLY about the fandoms that trigger me). If you are a multi-muse blog that has characters from these fandoms, all I ask is that you be sure to tag them with the fandom they are from, with one of the tags in my list, and tag any of the triggers. We’ll be perfectly fine if you do! If you don’t, I may eventually unfollow, just to avoid seeing unintentionally triggering content.

- Secondly, I am open to RPing smut, (either aged up, or not, since whether we like it or not, teenagers do indeed end up doing it), however it likely will not happen much since this muse is underage, and will only happen if both myself and the other mun are okay with it and have agreed to it. (Again, chances are slim.) I do prefer however if our smut RPs are placed under a read more, if at all possible.

- ★ I am autistic. I know I don’t seem like it at first, and sometimes it’s hard to tell, however I am, and I also have ADHD, and it does affect the way my mind works with things. Sometimes having things done certain ways makes all the difference between if I can do something or if I can’t. If it sounds like I want to do something, but seem to struggle with figuring out how, please feel free to make suggestions, or start the thing yourself! It’s actually REALLY helpful when I get stuck. My being autistic can also affect who I can roleplay with, and how I roleplay, and how I think. Please keep this in mind, and try to be understanding. If something bothers you, or you don’t understand something, just ask me! I’ll do my best to explain, or fix it.

- Though it may not always seem like it, I am VERY shy and awkward. I’m actually legitimately terrified of new people, and trying to talk to people I haven’t spoken to before, or very much yet, almost makes me feel like I’m going to have a panic attack. If you want to RP with me, please message me! Chances are I’d LOVE to chat with you and RP with you, I’m just too terrified to talk to you.

- I struggle with chronic depression, and sometimes I may disappear for a while if I have a spell that gets particularly bad. Please be patient with me, as I will never forget about you and will always return. Also since it needs to be said, I also have EXTREME, doctor diagnosed anxiety. Sometimes it gets the better of me. Same with depression. Sometimes I have bad days. So I vent, and get frustrated with things. Little things bother me a lot more than they would on a normal day. If you can’t handle that or are going to be a hypocrite about it then please just leave right now. I don’t need your negativity. I have enough unwanted of that in my head as it is, which I combat and fight against every day.

- I am a multiship/multiverse blog, however my muse will be very selective with shipping for the time being however I am still happy to discuss ships and will happily consider them. Also a note, that I will ship with multiples of the same character, if the mun of those blogs wishes to ship with me. I find each relationship is different, seeing as each mun plays their character a little differently.

- I will do crossovers sometimes with fandoms I am familiar with. Crossovers always depend on my mood and how well my muse can interact with a character, as well as how well I know the series the character is from. Please forgive me if I choose not to roleplay a specific crossover. I still like you, I promise. If you’re unsure if I know your fandom, just ask! I do know of a lot of fandoms, so there’s a good chance I might.

- I ship based on chemistry. Sometimes I can develop a ship quickly, especially if I know the other muse’s personality well, and know they will mesh well with mine. Other times, a ship takes time for me to develop. Please be understanding and patient with me on this.

- Do NOT under any circumstances, force a ship on me. I am usually quite good at expressing ships I am okay with, and it will usually show in my writing. If you are unsure if I ship something or not, feel free to send me a message and ask me. Most of my characters have their own way of showing interest in someone, however most are usually pretty clear in expressing it in some way. Sending memes for interaction is fine for anyone whether we have interacted or not, and I will usually reply to those, however do not force a ship on me outside of that. If one develops between our characters, then fine. However that is a MUTUAL thing, so I do not take kindly to someone just deciding something is a thing. If you want to try to build one between our characters, then go ahead. Just please show me respect. That is the biggest and most important thing with me, is respect.

- I will write anything from 1 liners to multi-paragraphs when I RP. I usually stick to 1 or two shortish paragraphs, and that tends to fluctuate or shrink depending on how much information is needed to describe a scene. If we start out with a shorter paragraph, and I make a reply a fair bit longer, I will likely revert back to the shorter paragraph again within 1 or 2 replies. However you are welcome to write however you wish, just as long as you can give me something to go on. (A one liner in response to a 10 line paragraph for example, I will struggle to reply to.)

- I do not tolerate anon hate of any kind. Not towards myself, nor towards others. I will respond to it in a way that will make the sender feel rather like an idiot, and I am very smart and capable of doing so, so please be advised of that, if you intend to do so.

- I will RP more violent NSFW RPs, and other dark topics (I absolutely LOVE angst), however ONLY as long as I am in the mood for them. The mun of this blog is (well) over 18. Everything though that might be triggering, will be tagged, and if there is something that you need me to tag, or if I forget to tag something, please feel free to tell me. Just try to do so right away or else I can forget which RPs or replies to tag depending how long it goes since I posted it. My memory is pretty fickle with what it chooses to remember without some nudging.

- ★ I am better at roleplaying ships with males (BoyxBoy/Yaoi/etc), due to being more familiar with it and having more experience with it ((as I myself am very very very gay, and also trans (which is where the issues with writing about female parts makes me very uncomfortable comes from) )). I may however attempt to ship romantically with female characters, but please keep in mind it is something I am not as good at or as comfortable with, so if in the end, I decide I am unable to do so, please be understanding of this. (Especially if smut is included in the ship. I cannot smut with female characters, sorry.)

- I am slightly fickle about things I can reply to. I try very hard to reply to everything, however one thing I am not good at, is sudden changes in roleplays. As much as I hate to admit it, and try to pretend it isn’t true, and even though I am quite good at managing it most times, I am autistic, (high functioning form of autism) and that is one of the few issues I struggle with the most. If you sense a roleplay is changing directions, please hint at it to me in the tags or something the reply before it does, since even that small little hint can be enough to help keep me from having to drop an RP. Even if you are unsure if it will or not, letting me know that you think it MIGHT possibly happen (since we don’t control our characters) is a huge help to me. This particular issue is the main reason that 95% of my dropped threads end up dropped. And I always feel terrible when it happens, so please help me to get better at this.

- I can be slow sometimes (or often) with asks or replies. This usually happens because of my muse being fickle or me thinking a meme or ask prompt would be fun, however sometimes when I actually get them, my muse decides to just be like NOPE. Also sometimes I tend to forget things, or leave stuff in my askbox to reply to later, and then I forget about it or get distracted. If this happens, I apologize. Please try to be understanding of this, since I will NEVER ignore you or your asks on purpose. (The only case where it would be ignored is if it is something stated in my rules that I cannot respond to, that you obviously failed to read or are attempting to do anyway.) I do reblog things with the INTENT to answer EVERYTHING that shows up in my inbox, however my intentions don’t always pan out.

- I do not do the reblog from the source thing (not consistently anyway). I used to try to do it every single time (if I notice it), though now, I am sorry but I have had so many anxiety attacks due to my attention span which I cannot help due to having ADHD, and accidentally reblogging memes and such from someone who has that rule without even realizing it as I am scrolling down the dash because I don’t even realize who reblogged the meme, and then panicking because I realize it later, or get yelled at over it. I follow at least like 30+ meme blogs and the majority of memes on my dash tend to be from the source, so sometimes I don’t notice! Roleplay for me needs to remain stress free, because stress can trigger a major/serious depression spell and as of recently I FINALLY am stable emotionally. So please forgive me if I don’t bother with it. Because I probably won’t do it (consistently anyway).

Next topic of discussion.

Concerning OCs and shipping with them (Please see this post for some further clarification on this, since this is the part that I have the most issue with making clear, though I really do try):

- I am in fact OC supportive! Though when it comes to RPing with them, I can be extremely picky, and cautious. This has nothing to do with whether your OC is great or well developed or not. My brain annoyingly happens to have trouble connecting to a lot of characters, both OC and canon, but it just seems to be more common with other people’s OCs. HOWEVER, just because I might not RP with your OC, doesn’t mean I won’t secretly stalk them from the dash and read your interactions because I think they’re amazing.

- I WILL NOT ship my muses with other OCs, unless they are extremely well developed. This is simply because unless I personally can form some form of an an emotional connection/understanding to/of a character, my own muse will be unable to do so as well. (This can also apply to canon characters as well, so it is not simply limited to OCs).

- I am also very picky with RPing with other OCs, because of the same reason stated above. I will however roleplay with them sometimes, and do not in any way dislike them. I rather love OCs, and the diversity and color they bring to fandoms, and I actually have lots of OCs of my own for different fandoms, I just cannot always connect to them, and in those cases, I will not be able to roleplay with them. I apologize. HOWEVER. If possible, I will happily do platonic RPs with OCs that my muses happen to click with.

The types of characters/OCs I am usually unable to roleplay with, are the following, which includes a list of reasons why:

- ★ OCs that are not connected to any fandom in particular/Multifandom OCs. Basically as I like to call them, floaters or drifters. I may attempt to roleplay with these. It can still be iffy, because my brain can sometimes make stuff more difficult than it actually is or needs to be, and it depends on each particular OC, but as I have recently been developing a fandomless OC myself, I find my understanding of them has grown a bit. That said, sometimes I need to be able to connect them with something, as each fandom has a specific world to them. I need a consistent, solid world anchor to be able to understand the character, which drifters don’t have, so I can struggle to RP with them. I’m willing to try though!

- OCs from fandoms I am unfamiliar with. If I don’t know what sort of world/background your character comes from, it leaves me guessing too much and confused. I have attempted to roleplay with them anyway in the past and it just doesn’t work.

- OCs with very little backstory and information, or with a confusing one, or even with none at all. In essence, poorly made OCs. I need info to RP with you. At least seriously. So sorry. I need to be able to understand your character at least a little, since I don’t do good with “lets play a guessing game” or “I literally have no idea what I’m doing” or “what the hell is going on” sort of RPs, and I have never been good at them, and so I need clear, concise information on your character.

- Canonically (or noncanon since this is an OC as well) unknown family member OCs. Whether it’s a sibling for my character or for someone else’s that was never mentioned in canon, I just can’t. (If you want to RP a family member of my character that I have mentioned in my character’s info, please ask me beforehand as I usually have an idea already of what their family member is like, but usually I will be okay with that as long as you ask me first before just going ahead and doing it.) I’ve never been able to RP with them, for a multitude of reasons, one of the main being they often end up reminding me of the bad version of self inserts or genderbends. I have been unsuccessful at breaking this way of thinking towards them despite attempting to many times, and so I just cannot do it, personally. I am sorry.

Important reminder: Please note that I suck at explaining this somewhat, and just because my brain struggles with roleplaying with certain characters does not mean I dislike your muse or think they suck! I can think your OC is absolutely AMAZING and they can be SUPER well written and developed and I can want to interact but my brain is just dumb and if I try to my brain just refuses. These SAME issues can happen with canon characters too, I have simply noticed it more with other OCs, thus the specific section for them.

Those are all the ones I can think of right now. I am very sorry to anyone who has one of these and wants to RP with me, however I simply cannot do it, personally. I’m sure there are plenty of other people out there though who would love to RP with you even though I cannot, and just because I will not RP with you doesn’t mean I dislike you or your character. I’d be happy to still be friends with you, I just won’t be able to RP with you. I’m someone who needs to be able to connect to the character I am roleplaying with on at least SOME level, for my character to be able to connect to them as well, so if I am unable to do that then I am unable to roleplay with them. (This can include as well, the WAY someone roleplays, since if there is no emotion or thought or description in replies, it gives me nothing to go on and connect to, and leaves me unable to respond, even if I WANT to RP with you.)

★ I hate to have to do this (and I never used to have a password), however I have had A LOT of trouble with people not reading and following my rules in the past, and or speaking about or talking about/not tagging my major trigger, so if you have read my rules, please inbox me with “Catshark” (I prefer Inbox over IMs for the password so I can keep track forever of who sent it in). I ask this of people because it also helps a lot with my anxiety, and keeps me from wondering and worrying in the back of my mind if I might actually get triggered by something. I know it can be tedious to do this extra step, and I hate that I even had to add this step in the first place, however after years of roleplaying, and dealing with people, it became necessary due to several bad past experiences in tumblr fandoms. It was not added on a whim, so please take the time to do so. Also, I do understand that you probably follow a hundred blogs that all have their own rules, so if you forget stuff, that’s okay! I do it too. The password is just so I know it is safe for me to approach you and remind you of something if you do forget. Otherwise, I tend to sit here and kind of panic about if I can mention something to you (it has happened before that someone who didn’t send it in and came across friendly bit my head off when I asked them to tag something), and it means I am more likely to unfollow or stop interacting, or even block you eventually due to my anxiety. And I don’t want that to happen over a silly misunderstanding.

There may be more added to this later if I think of something. Thank you for taking the time to read this.

#Mobile friendly info #mobile friendly #Rules

2 notes · View notes

mrsrhys23 · 5 years ago

Text

I want to play a game...

Chapter one: I will survive

Word count: 3,533

Warnings: MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH , drowning, profanities and mention of blood.

A/N 1: I completely forgot I was writing this until the Sneak peak was reblogged a couple weeks ago.

A/N 2: I don’t own these characters/ the saw universe. Sorry ‘read more’ isn’t working.

Summary: They have to get through a series of agonising traps to earn their survival, but who will live and who will die?

Permatag: @desireepow-1986 @cordoniaqueensworld

Series tags: @cordonianroyalty @texaskitten30 @imthequeenofcordonia (Just let me know if you’d like to be tagged/ removed).

The floor was cold and coarse, being one of the first things Riley noticed as she started to regain consciousness. She could hear screaming, a woman by the sounds of it and voices, who they belonged to not being clear at that moment in time. She opened her eyes; the room was dark with only some light peeking in through a tiny window, Her vision was still slightly disfigured, as she sat herself up, a massive headache hitting her.

“W-where? Where are we?” Riley muttered, as her vision turned back clear and she could see her friends, who all looked as equally distressed as she probably did. She pushed herself up to her feet, a wave of dizziness hitting her making her rely on the wall to keep herself from falling. Everything felt fuzzy, she couldn’t remember how she ended up there, how any of them did.

Madeline sat in the corner of the cold damp room with her knees to her chest, crying by the sounds of it and being thankfully quiet.

Olivia was busy pounding on the window but getting nowhere, the glass staying intact, the noise making Riley cringe from just how much worse it made her headache.

Drake was busy trying to calm down his girlfriend, Emily, who was hyperventilating. Maxwell paced, Hana stood crying and wringing her hands together.

“Guys?” Riley asked, but none of them seemed to hear her. “Guys?!” That caught all their attention and each of them turned to her. “Where are we?”

“How are we supposed to know?” Olivia snapped.

“We don’t know,” Drake said, “We all just woke up here and none of us can remember how we got here.”

“W-where’s Liam?”

“He’s not here,” Maxwell chimed in.

Suddenly all the lights came on, making all of them squint from the sudden brightness. Riley noticed a tape recorder hung from a piece of string and nail on the far wall when her eyes had adjusted. She staggered over to it, took it down and peeled off the note that said, ‘play me.’ She turned back to look at the group, her finger hovering over the button. Riley swallowed hard and pressed it.

All they heard immediately was static and then that voice, the voice they would never forget. “Greetings and welcome! I want to play a game…”

“What the hell?” Drake muttered.

“You’re probably all wondering why you’re here,” the deep, male voice Riley concluded, continued. All of them felt a wave of fear rush over each of them. They all exchanged a look of sheer panic. Yes, they'd taken down Anton Servus but...this felt different, more dangerous, evil even. “All of you have never worked for anything in your lives, it’s all been handed to you on a silver platter. Some of you have used others to climb further up the social ladder. Trampled over others to feel better about yourselves.”

“Maxwell, if this is you-” Drake started.

Maxwell turned to Drake, glaring up at him. “How the fuck would this be me?!” He snapped, losing his temper, which was something he very rarely did.

“You do have a weird sense of humour, Maxwell,” Drake snarled.

“Will you both just be quiet!” Olivia screamed, silencing both men as a result.

“People have died because of the actions you so called humanitarians have taken-”

“Who? What are you talking about?” Riley cut off, but her questions went unheard.

“…You all have your separate reasons as to why you're here and all know them. I wonder how long it will take for you all to confess to the crimes you’ve committed,” the man continued.

“Who the fuck are you?!” Madeline screamed, standing from the floor, mascara pouring down her cheeks. Olivia sent her a look that was enough to tell the Countess to shut her mouth before Olivia shut it for her.

“You all may have noticed the four tubes hanging from the ceiling.” Upon that revelation, the group looked up to see them dangling from the equally rough looking ceiling above them. It was then a drop of water fell and dripped onto Hana’s face. Hana looked around the room, the sense of panic growing as she caught sight of several vents on each corner of the room. Soon everyone else caught sight of them too.

“Now, this room is soon going to be filled with water. As you’ve all hopefully figured out by now there are only four tubes and there are seven of you. It’s said that healthy individuals, much like yourselves, can hold their breath for two minutes. We'll be putting that to the test though. After two minutes are up water will spill from one of the tubes, cutting off another air supply, and so forth. You’ll be in here for ten minutes, by then some of you will most likely have drowned and all air supplies will have been severed. The rules are simple: the only thing you need is the will to survive.” With that the tape grew to an end. Riley let out a scream of frustration and launched the thing at the wall, breaking it into pieces upon impact.

Surely this was all a sick joke, right?

Some panic seemed to drain from their bodies when nothing immediately started to happen. They all just stood passing each other cautious glances.

“Maybe this is all just a joke. A prank,” Emily suggested. Getting a death glare from Olivia, who seemed to be giving them to everyone by this point.

“M-maybe Em is right,” Maxwell chimed in rather hesitantly. He couldn't deny that sense of dread he was feeling right in the pit of his stomach that really made him reconsider his words. “Right?”

Maxwell was prompted to look down when something cold began to pool at his feet. He looked down, seeing the ice cold water pouring from the vents. Everyone’s eyes grew wide.

“Fuck!” Drake bellowed, pulling off his jacket.

“Now is not the time to take your clothes off, Walker!” Olivia reprimanded. The water was now just below knee height. It was filling up quickly and that was making them all rightfully start to panic.

“Try and block the vents,” Drake said, running over to the one nearest to him, trying to stuff his jacket inside which temporarily cut off the water supply.

“It’s working,” Maxwell said, shocked.

“Well it’s not going to stop it for long if you lot don't block the others,” Drake yelled, trying to keep his hold against the vent with the strong water pressure pushing against him. It was like he was playing a game of tug or war but he wasn’t so sure he was going to win.

The rest of the group all removed their jackets, thankful it was winter so all of them actually were wearing one, then followed Drake’s instruction, pressing the ball uped clothing against the vents. The water stopped, sitting just under their shoulders as they stayed knelt down. They all breathed a sigh of relief, that was until the pressure seemed to grow all the stronger and wrenched their hands off their targets and the water seeped in once again.

“Shit,” Riley mumbled, trying to push against it again but failing miserably, even Drake could not push against it and he was probably the strongest in the room.

They all got to their feet. Madeleine started to shiver with the cold water seeping through her clothes.

Emily had started to hyperventilate again, which in a room with a limited oxygen supply was not helping.

“Will you stop that?” Olivia growled at her, which caused the girl to cower away from the Duchess and her breathing to grow more shallow and laboured.

“I-I can’t breathe-” Emily stuttered out between gasps. Her hand landed on her chest, grabbing at her shirt.

“Em, now is not the time,” Drake warned. He would normally be sympathetic, try and help her but they were all a bit pressed for time. He rested a hand on her shoulder trying to provide her with at least some comfort.

Olivia headed over to the door. No handle. No lock. She wasn't sure it was a door to begin with but that looked like the only way out. She banged and clawed at the metal plank standing between her and freedom. After growing too frustrated she booted the thing, she was sure she’d at least broken a toe but she was too angry, too scared, to notice. She placed the victimised foot down, the cool water at least doing something other than trying to drown her.

Madeline looked around the room, trying to see if there was another way out but of course there wasn't. They were completely trapped. Of course there was that small window but they had all kind of figured out it was most likely bulletproof- it wasn't going anywhere. They weren't getting out unless they completed the game.

Drake had stepped away from his girlfriend and left Hana to provide her with some comfort. He felt like a complete dickhead for doing that but...they were going to die if they didn't figure this out.

Riley and Maxwell had tried to block the vents off again but it wasn't going to work and soon abandoned the idea. It was futile

The water was resting by the girls shoulders now. They were all average height but how they longed to be a giraffe like the men in the room. They were soon going to need to use the tubes...but Riley was hesitant. Maybe whoever that guy was had lied, maybe there was no air waiting to be sucked into their lungs through those, piss like yellow, tubes and she wasn’t the only one thinking that.

Somehow Emily had started to calm down. How she’d managed that nobody could comprehend because they were nearly as panicky as she had been. Panicking wasn't going to help though, they all needed to stay level headed if they were all going to survive this.

“Would now be a good time to tell everyone that I'm scared of water?” Maxwell asked, as the water seemed to be pouring in faster now. Drake shot him a glare.

“I think we all will be after this!” Riley yelled, as she tried to keep her head above the water like everyone else was struggling to do.

Soon the water was about to reach the ceiling so they all took one big breath as the cool water engulfed them completely. They all exchanged a look , having a sort of conversation about who should take a breath first.

Drake, Olivia and Riley let the others go first. They were all good at holding their breath so it made sense.

They watched anxiously as the others grabbed the the tubes, locking it in between their teeth as they held it with one hand and closed their mouths around the end to create a seal. If this didn't work then water would flood straight into their lungs and that’d be it. Game over.

Maxwell went first breathing through it getting a mouth full of water then turned his head away emptying his mouth then got back to it again. Finally, all the water seemed to clear from the tube and air flowed into his lungs. He gave the others a thumbs up who all followed suit, finally getting the same relief that Maxwell had been granted.

Drake was busy timing how long they had left until water would gush in from one tube. One minute had already passed. Another sixty seconds and one of those tubes were going to be cut off.

He could feel the pressure in his head, he wanted to open his mouth, to just take a breath which was something that was taken for granted, it was like that saying ‘you only miss something when it's gone.’ No truer words had ever been spoken.

He signalled for everyone to let go of their tubes when it hit the two minute mark. They all waited for a few seconds until water gushed from the tube Madeline had been using.

Maxwell, Emily, Hana and Madeline moved away from the tubes so Olivia, Drake and Riley could get at them. They each took in a breath.

It was one of the best things they had ever felt.

Once again, Drake timed it. He grabbed Olivia’s arm when time was out and they all pulled away, water soon gushed from the tube Riley had been occupying. This was where it was going to get difficult.

Two tubes. Seven people.

It's a human instinct to do whatever you need to survive and none of them wanted to die and that’s what Olivia had clocked that guy was counting on.

Madeline, Olivia, Hana and Emily took one tube and the others took the other, taking turns to take a breath. Drake’s eyes stayed fixed onto his watch, counting down. He knew that it was all going to get worse when that tube was cut off.

Once again he signalled time was up and everyone let go, watching as water flowed in. They all looked directly to the one tube that was left standing.

Madeline was the first to try and get to it. Unlucky for the countess Emily reached it first, taking in a deep breath. She was yanked away from it when Madeline pulled at her hair and then took hold of it herself. Frankly, no one was surprised that Maddy was the first to try something.

Emily turned around and grabbed Madeline's hair yanking her away. While they were occupied, Hana snuck in getting a hold of it and taking a long awaited breath. Drake got in between Emily and Madeline as they pounced at each other again. Fighting wasn't going to fix this. He held his hand out, it hovering over both of the women's chests to keep them away from one another.

What they were doing was completely human, stupid, but human nonetheless. They were panicking, they were staring death right in the face and they were trying to cheat it, find a way out and that was incredibly normal but they were all friends...well mostly, excluding the demon of course.

Maxwell wanted...no needed to breathe. He felt the pressure in his head making him so desperately want to open his mouth and take a breath.

Hana was looking around, seeing that all of the others were occupied with Emily and Olivia but what she didn't see was Maxwell flying towards her until it was too late. He slammed into her, sending her knocking into the wall and away from the tube. Maxwell latched his mouth over the end of the tube taking in a long awaited breath, as Hana recovered from the blow.

She touched her temple where it had slammed into the wall. She pulled her hand away, it covered in red as the blood dripping from the wound started to colour the water around her.

By this time Drake had noticed what had occurred after the women had started to calm down. He looked down to his watch seeing time was so nearly up he pushed Max out of the way as once again water flooded in through the final tube.

They all looked at each other, if that guy was telling the truth they just had two minutes left. Two minutes left of their lungs screaming for air. Two minutes of being surrounded by ice cold water that frankly they all started to adjust to by now. But Only 120 seconds left of this torture and they’d be out. They all just needed to remain calm, which of course was easier said than done and they’d be fine.

They looked at each other, each thinking of something else other than where they were, what was staring them right in the face.

Panic rose as the light started to flicker and soon plunged them all into darkness. Of course, the lights would go out, it happened in every horror movie ever. It was designed to instil fear and that’s exactly what it was doing.

Riley could see specks spotting her vision, it wasn't completely dark, she could see the outlines of her friends from the light coming from the small window, the light looked artificial, it didn't look like it was sunlight. It could have been her imagination, the oxygen deprivation but she could swear she just saw somebody peeking in. She blinked and then they were gone if they were ever there to begin with and the light with it. It felt like her head was exploding but the instinct not to let any water in was so strong that she didn't open her mouth.

Fear was a good thing right now, yes, it could make them act irrationally, like it already had but fear meant they wanted to survive. They wanted to get out and that’s all they needed. The will to survive.

She was dreading getting out in a way because maybe not everyone had survived this. She had fear of drowning, ever since she fell off her surfboard when she was a kid and got dragged under. It was a fear of not being in control.

Riley closed her eyes, surely this was nearly over. Right?

Without warning the door opened, the water gushed out and took the group with them, making them slam into either each other or the wall. They all scurried away from one another getting on to their knees coughing and taking in long, strangled breaths between coughs.

Hana dabbed at the side of her head, the blood had completely stopped. She got onto her knee still coughing as the air that she was never going to take for granted again reached her lungs. Soon even got to their knees, some standing up as they looked to one another. They had done it. They had survived.

Hana suddenly let out a ear piercing scream. They all followed her gaze and saw Maxwell laying unmoving by the door to the room they had just been in. Half of his body still inside the room and half out of it.

“M-Max?” Riley asked, stepping towards him cautiously.

He didn't move, didn't respond. Drake knelt down beside him placing two fingers against his friend's neck. He felt nothing.

“Great the idiot is dead. We might just get out of here after all,” Madeline said. Riley turned to her, her eyes filling with tears as she glared at her.

“What did you just say?” She asked, stepping toward the Countess.

“I said-” Before she could continue Riley lunged at her, grabbing at her hair and making her head bash against the wall. Madeline yelled, clawing at Riley's wrist. Drake stood, grabbed Riley round the waist and yanked her away as she grabbed at his arms and tried to worm her way out of his grip.

“Stop it! Both of you!” Drake commanded. He let go of her when she stopped fighting against him.

Riley ran her hands down her tired face, wiping away the tears that had started to spill. She watched as Olivia stepped up to Madeline and soon her fist connected with her jaw. Maxwell and Liv weren't friends really but at least she had some fucking respect.

“Liv!” Drake scolded.

“She fucking deserved it, Walker!” Olivia yelled back as she started to pace as Madeline dabbed at her now bloody nose.

“W-what do we do now?” Emily asked, timidly.

“I think I’ve got an idea,” Hana said, nobody missed the way her voice cracked as she tried to keep her emotions in check. She nodded to a door on the other side of the room up a small metal staircase that had ‘this way’ written in red. It didn't look like blood, that was something at least.

“The psychopath signposted the place. Useful,” Olivia mumbled under her breath.

Drake turned around to see Riley now knelt down clutching onto Maxwell's body, her fingers running through his damp hair.

“Ri?” She didn't answer, “Brooks come on.”

“We can't leave him here,” She said, her voice quiet and defeated. She knew now wasn't the time to be difficult but…Maxwell is-was her one of her best friends, he was the entire reason that Riley is where she is now. She wanted to cry...but as heartless as it sounded Maxwell wasn’t the priority right now.

“We have too,” Olivia said calmly. “We- when we get out we’ll have someone come and get him but you need to come now.”

“What if it's just another trap?” Riley asked, voicing everyone else's concerns.

“It probably is,” Olivia said honestly, earning herself a glare from Drake. “What? We’re all thinking it. I really doubt being locked in a stupid room for ten minutes is the end of this, do you?”

“She’s got a point,” Emily voiced.

“We don't know this for sure. Let's not panic,” Hana recommended.

Riley took one last look at Maxwell, biting at her bottom lip to stop it quivering and stood, wiping at her eyes and turned to the rest of the group.

“There’s only one way to find out.”

#i want to play a game #trr fanfic #the royal romance #trr #tw drowning #tw character death #tw kidnapping #long post

19 notes · View notes

skylights422 · 5 years ago

Text

@ace-and-aro-wlw-positivity created a Q&A for aspec authors/writers, and as an aspec author, I am excited to participate and answer as many of their questions as I can. Under a cut since it became really outrageously long.

1. What was your inspiration for your character(s)? Are they modeled on yourself, a person that you know, or a character that’s already been established?

Typically I’d say my characters are a mix of general inspiration from other stories/characters and then bits and pieces taken from myself. I try not to make any of them like a clone of myself or another character, try to mix it up, possibly with mixed success but that is the goal.

2. How much, if any, has your character(s) changed since they were first created? What caused this change?

Oh wow, okay I have characters I still use from grade school and middle school, and those characters have changed/grown a lot. Most notoriously (to me) though are my two fellas Euphranor and Kadri. I created them while daydreaming in middle school while watching those science videos in class about how I could make a more parody-like version of said videos, Kadri being the energetic and comically sadistic teacher and Euphranor being the constantly irritated and foul-tempered student. The core of their designs and personalities haven’t totally changed (Euph is still a hot-head and Kadri still likes to troll him), but they’ve become far more nuanced as characters as their story become more involved and serious. They’ve also become softer characters, with Euph having a Heart of Gold and Kadri being a bit morally grey but generally compassionate and friendly. I think the cause of this change and others comes from a mix of things, for one I simply got older and what I wanted out my characters changed a bit. But also I think it’s because I spent so much time with those characters in my head that I couldn’t help but develop them more fully, which in turn made me want to give them a good story. Also, everyone is definitely more queer now then how they started, largely because I became more aware and comfortable with my own queer identity and spent more time in queer spaces (though with Euph I actually just realized he had to be gay because I every het relationship I envisioned for him fell totally flat and yet imagining him as having crushes on guys just seemed to work better/make more sense, and that was an earlier decision).

4. Do you intend on publishing your story one day? Why, or why not?

I definitely do! I have many, many stories I want to publish, as books or comics or tv shows or films. I’ve always wanted to publish some of writing since it’s one of my main passions and have always taken inspiration from the stories I consumed. I just love writing and would want to be able to do it as my main career, the key will just be figuring out how to focus on one project long enough to finish it. xD

5. Surprise fact! Give a random fact about your character(s), whether it’s their favorite color, food, or even song!

Euphranor loves to sing! He hums to calm himself down and even full on sings to vent his feelings sometimes. Kadri loves literature and video games, and blackberry pie is his favorite food.

6. Admit it, you have a folder on your computer of the various types of picrews you’ve created for your character(s). Would you mind posting a few (or five)?

*VIBRATES* MY TIME HAS COME. I absolutely have way too many picrews of my fellas so I won’t post them all, just two each for the core four of my main novel project. First, Euphranor:

(yes he is a Hufflepuff)

Kadri:

(also since I dragged the Hogwarts houses into this Kadri is Ravenclaw)

Ena:

(I put her in Gryffindor)

And finally, Fiera:

(Right now I have her in Slytherin. She could also be in Ravenclaw though)

7. Time to get serious for a bit. There’s been heavy debate on having non-human characters identify as ace, aro, non-binary, etc., but never actual humans. As someone who’s aspec, how would you explain to someone who’s allo why this can be and is seen as hurtful?

I mean, as a sci-fi fan I definitely love if the non-human characters are queer coded, but it’s definitely important to include human representation as well, and I think there are a few simple reasons for that. One is that queer people are, in fact, humans, and therefore our stories deserve to be told as they are in reality as well as how they could be in fiction. The other is only writing us as inhuman implies you consider our identities as fictitious or too strange for a human to have, and queer people already have to deal with other forms of erasure and invalidation in real life. (Also, not everyone is a fan of sci-fi/fantasy, and they should still be able to read stories where they can see themselves)

8. It’s a sad reality that many stories in mainstream media don’t have characters that are aspec, not to mention without resorting to harmful stereotypes. Besides there being nothing wrong with IDing as aspec, why did you choose to have your character ID as such? What would you tell other authors who’re interested in writing characters that are aspec, but are afraid of offending the community?

I have a huge list of aspec characters, which definitely started happening more once I was aware of my own asexuality (and later, aromanticism), since I realized that I could make my own aro and ace characters and then just went wild with it lol. It’s also easier for me to write since I can actually draw from personal experience somewhat for it. Beyond representation having aro and ace characters also allows you to explore more facets of human emotions/the human experience, so that’s always fun.

As for how I would advise allies looking to write a-spec characters, my main advice would be to remember that we are an incredibly diverse group of people, and so while no one a-spec character will resonate with every a-spec reader, an a-spec character written in good faith will definitely speak to some of us. Write them as an character first, and when it comes to things like how their attraction does or doesn’t work and what they want out of relationships, figure out what works best for them. Really, if you’re concerned your character would be offensive in some way you can always make a post asking about it, many of us are happy to offer constructive advice and appreciate that someone is wanting to put in the effort to write about our experiences. Reading or listening to anecdotes from an array of a-spec people is also a good way of getting ideas of how to portray us, and there are various resources for that (the tags, AUREA collects anecdotes from arospec individuals, and probably more than I can think of offhand)

9. If you’re comfortable with sharing, what is your characters’ identity? Do they use any microlabels? Does theirs reflect your own?

Unsurprisingly I have many characters who are aroace (Fiera is one of them), and Ena is bisexual and gray-aromantic. Kadri was originally supposed to just be bi/pan but has become increasingly aspec, will they end up gray-aro as well as grey-ace? Will they end up as a pan oriented aroace? I don’t know yet, but they sure are a pan a-spec. My most recent project has exclusively aro-spec protagonists, Valentine is aroace, Cedar is demiromantic, Raelene is cupioromantic, and then Clematis and Hadyn are presently just Aro and might stay that way. My aroace characters are often styled after my own aroace experiences, while other a-spec characters aren’t as much.

11. Why do you think that not just representation is important, but GOOD representation? Can you offer any examples?

Well, I think there are a few ways to make ‘good rep’. There is the ‘this character helps bring awareness/educate about the community’ and then there’s ‘this character just resonates with certain a-spec people a lot’, and the main reason I think it’s important is because rep should be for the people they’re representing. So if rep hurts the community or totally fails to be relatable to anyone who’s actually a-spec, then it missed the whole point and is doing just as much to leave the community feeling left in the dust as no rep. Of course things do get complicated when the community is divided on whether the rep is good or not, which I imagine will be a common occurrence, and many examples of rep probably fall into the grey area between Good and Bad, but generally people should aim to tell stories that will help more than hinder the people you are telling your story about. (Although I also think that the long term end goal is to get to the point where there is enough representation that it doesn’t matter if some of it is ‘bad’ or not, since I feel like that is the true state of normalization, but that is sadly not yet the case)

12. What’s the genre of your most recent story? Do you always write in this genre? If so, what other works do you have? If not, why did you pick it?

My most recent story (with Valentine) is fantasy, inspired by shoujo style anime series like Cardcaptor Sakura, while Euph’s story is more dystopian urban fantasy? His exact genre has shifted around a lot and will probably continue to do so. In general, most of my works are fantasy in some way or another. A few are more sci-fi or horror based, but definitely the majority are fantasy whether that be magical girl type stories, urban fantasy, superheroes, or dark fantasy.

14. What’s a brief biography of your character? Is their history, personality, and/or looks similar to your own?

I’m going to go with Fiera here. The short version of her backstory is that she and her older brother were born to neglectful parents, and while their grandmother was attentive emotionally she also lived far away. Her brother discovered magic, long thought forgotten, but killed himself shortly after, leaving Fiera alone and confused. She then made a point to dedicate herself to studying the theory and history of magic in the hope that she may someday understand why her brother would take his own life so suddenly like that. She has a down to earth personality and is very observant, and has a great deal of ambition and focus for tasks. She naturally has a more lighthearted and curious personality, but has become more somber since the death of her brother. While she always struggled with sustaining personal relationships, it’s only recently she started using her power of observation to be more manipulative and always keep a cool, pleasant demeanor. She has a love for fashion and sewing, as well as an interest in chemistry.

She isn’t really based on me at all backstory or appearance wise, and only slightly takes after me personality wise. Our main similarity is that we both can be quietly observant and don’t tend to get outwardly angry very often, and that we are both aroace. But I am nowhere near as focused as her, am terrible at lies/manipulation, and have different interests. I’m also way more prone to energetic rants and blunt statements than she is.

15. What are the themes of your story? Is it a lighthearted adventure, or are we talking deep, ocean-sized levels of angst? Why, or why not, did you choose them?

The tone of Euph’s story is kind of all over the place due to how often I’ve tweaked it, but there are certainly oceans of angst for all the protagonists. There’s just also decided remnants of the wacky humor from when the story was predominantly a comedy, and a lot more scenes of the characters just relaxing or goofing off than might be typical in a high tension drama adventure. My story with Valentine is generally much more lighthearted, though there will be some deeper moments for character development (and also because I want it to have a slightly gothic vibe, just Because)

16. How long have you been writing? Has your style changed from when you first began to now? What are some tips you’d give to those who’re interested in writing a story of their own, be it professionally or as a hobby?

I’ve been writing in some capacity just about as long as I can remember, and so my style has definitely taken various shifts depending on how old I was and what I was taking as my main inspiration at the time. Sometimes I went for more sarcastic and whimsical narration regardless of the events happening of the story, sometimes I went for a more quick modern-ish style, sometimes I would focus more or less on descriptions or dialogue. I don’t really know where I’m at right now though.

What I would advise to anyone wanting to sit down and write is to be patient and kind with yourself. Nine times out of ten what sounds epic in your head will come out at first as clunky and all over the place. But that is pretty much the whole purpose of first drafts; the clunky first draft crawls so the second draft may walk so the third draft may walk a little faster so the final draft may run. The other thing I would advise is to absolutely experiment, and see what works best for you. There is every kind of writing advice out there imaginable, much of it contradictory, so really you just have to mess around with styles and perspective and dialogue and see what happens, which stuff you liked and which stuff you didn’t.

17. What’s your process for writing? Do you plan your story out first, write whatever you want then edit later, or both? How might this help others?

My writing process is pretty much a mishmash of writing whatever comes to me, then planning, then writing, then using a bunch of character building exercises to have fun but make no progress in the plot, then neglect the project for months, then write some more or maybe plan. I don’t know how much this would help others, though I have found when I set goals with deadlines and some external pressure (nanowrimo, reward system implanted by friends, etc) I am far more productive, so perhaps that is something others could try if they struggle with staying on track?

18. Your book’s become quite popular, easily reaching the New York Times Bookseller list, and now, you’ve been picked to lead a writing workshop. It goes swimmingly, and afterward, someone comes and tells you that your book not only inspired them to write a story of their own, but also helped them discover and accept their identity. What’s your reaction?

Mostly I would just be flabbergasted, but also extremely pleased and honored to have been able to provide any kind of help or assistance to my readers.And I would feel very happy for the person, since that sort of inspiration is great to come by.

19. Are there any published stories out there that feature aspec characters that you also read? Do you have any suggestions?

Unfortunately not that I can think of! I am peripherally aware of some ace characters, but they aren’t in stories I personally consume. I hope to find more though!

20. Just for fun, write down a paragraph of your most recent writing. It can be an action-packed scene, some witty dialogue, or a colorful description that you really enjoyed. (Be sure to properly tag any possible triggers!)

Well, my most recent finished work would be the clunky first draft of my novel. So, here’s a silly conversation that entertained me to write:

Once they had bought the food, they went back to the park to eat.

“You know, Fiera, I have come to a realization.” Kadri said.

“Oh? What’s that?” Fiera asked.

“Store snacks are not as filling as restaurant food, nor as refined, but they are decidedly addictive.” he said, munching on Twizzlers.

“Yep. That’s what makes them store snacks. Plus, I couldn’t get any really nice stuff. I’m not made of money.” Fiera explained.

“Which brings me to my next question, how exactly are you financing our meals? You don’t seem to work a job of any kind.” Kadri said. Fiera was almost surprised that he knew about jobs, but decided not to ask about it.

“You’re right, I don’t. But my parents leave me about sixty bucks a week so that they can do what they want without me starving to death in their absence. After yesterday and just now, I’m down to like eight bucks, and the next payment comes in three days, so after this stash goes it's dollar store snacks only.” Fiera explained.

“I see. Fascinating. And these drinks you bought us, why are they vitamin drinks?” Kadri said,looking over a vitamin water curiously.

“Because we definitely aren’t going to get any vitamins from chips and candy.” Fiera said simply.

“There is logic to that, I suppose.” he said. There was silence for a few moments.

“Um… Kadri?” Fiera said after a while.

“Yes, Fiera?” Kadri said.

“You know you can’t eat a whole bag of Twizzlers in one go, right?” Fiera said.

“I don’t see why not. If it is not going to give me the nutrients I need, it may as well provide me with the maximum level of pleasure it is capable of.” Kadri said.

“Yeah, but you’ll get sick. And we have limited supplies.” Fiera countered. Kadri looked at the bag of Twizzlers in alarm.

“These are poisonous in large doses!?” he exclaimed.

“What? No, not poisonous, they just make you sick because they’re candy. All candy does that if you keep eating it.” Fiera said.

“Commoners lead dangerous lives, it would seem. I shall never forget this betrayal.” He said to the bag of Twizzlers, putting it down and taking the vitamin water instead.

#Arospec Awareness Week #aromantic #writing #non-fandom #asaw2020

13 notes · View notes

writing-for-a-chance · 6 years ago

Text

My Escape {S. Black}

Summary: Request💟Sirius is wandering around in dog form(for some reason) only to find Slytherin!reader crying near the forest. He hated her her out of association with Mulciber, who is a family friend of the reader. He approaches her in dog form which ends up with her venting about how she hates everything Mulciber does and only stays around him because shes scared of him. Blah blah Sirius realizes shes not a bad person and later tries to coax her into hanging out with him to get her away from Mulciber. (Dear Nonnie: I had to change it up a bit due to me not liking my first draft. But I’m super happy with this so I hope you also are)

Masterlist (ALL)

Requested?: Yes!

Warnings: Language, set SLYTHERIN!Reader, it’s kinda sad.

Words: 1,446

Feel free to reach out if you want to be tagged.

The day had been filled with too much sorrow for Y/N to enjoy even with the sun outside as she walked around, kicking the grass. Her legs felt tired, but her mind felt exhausted. She huffed at herself, feeling tears slowly build upon her lower eyelids.

It was just too much.

Too much pain she felt. She was trapped with no sign of escape all thanks to her stupid pureblood parents and their ideologies. She resented it all, but the worst was being forced around Mulciber. He was a good-for-nothing blood purist and an asshole. Her parents had told her that they expected a friendship from them, meaning she was forced to be around him for whatever reason there was. Yet Mulciber was cruel, constantly being harsh towards her, pulling on her arms, calling her disrespectful terms, and forcing her to be a snobby uptight snake.

Her parents were his worst weapon, the way he used them against her, saying things like “If you don’t act right I’ll make sure your summer is spent in a cage.” It scared her. She wasn’t safe, her tormentors followed her everywhere.

The coating of wet tears fell down her cheeks, and she cried, whimpers fell past her lips as her hands clenched in the cool blade of the grass. Surely she would get reprimanded for skipping dinner, yet there was so much build-up she needed an escape. Her mind was an endless pit, and she hated each and every second. The crunching of grass was able to distract her, thinking someone had found her, but instead the source of the sound was a… dog? Yet there were no dogs allowed in Hogwarts. She stared at it with swollen eyes, watching as it approached her before sitting down by her legs.

The dog was definitely furry, and there was no collar or marking to tell her it had an owner, so she guessed it was a stray. She smiled lightly, sticking out her hand for it to sniff, but it didn’t like any normal dog. I just shoved its head into her hand and came closer, leaning against her side. Y/N was impressed, for a stray, the fur was incredibly soft, each touch of it felt like heaven. She hugged the dog, deciding to call it a male for now, “I don’t know why you’re here, but I am thankful.” She whimpers into his fur, the tears coming again, to which the dog pulled back and licked her face, “Oh, I.. I’m sorry, you see things aren’t going well for me here, but I can't tell my parents.” She sighed, laying down in the grass.

The dog did the same, laying against her with his head resting on her body, “A lot of people see me as a bad person due to who I hang out with also. I’d like to think that maybe if I wasn’t in Slytherin, or raised by blood purists, or had other people around me, then I would have been better.” She smiles, lazily stroking the dog's fur, “I think I’d like to be in Gryffindor if I could change. There are many talented people there. Many I’d like to be friends with, especially Sirius Black.” She suddenly sits up and giggles to herself, “You kinda look like him. That's what I’ll call you. Sirius.” The dog wagged its tail in response and she couldn’t help but laugh. Hugging it tightly, she smiled, “Y’know, I should be in there right now,” she pointed at the castle, “Mulciber, one of the git’s that haven’t made my time here easy probably expects me. I’m forced to be around him because of our parents, both are pureblood snobs, and they want me to associate with them. So now people hate me without even knowing me.” She sighed.

Sirius watched, with sad eyes, she didn’t know that the dog named Sirius was actually him, or that every opinion he had on her had changed, but worst off all she didn’t know that she understood the pain of parents who held expectation, ones that though they weren’t good enough, ones that caused more pain than resolved, and without even knowing, he let out a whine. Y/N looked over, worried as she tries to figure out why the sudden noise, “Are you alright Sirius?” She panicked, checking over anything she could find, but the only response was him pulling away, and running off. Probably not his best choice but he needed to figure out what to do. The emotions he tried to hide were matched and amplified by a Slytherin girl that was used. He had left her, in the field, panicking over a noise he didn’t mean to make.

Yet, he didn’t want to return, so his only hope was to go back tomorrow with something that only he would have. It was apart of his muggle collection against his own parents. Tomorrow he would bring it.

Y/N had hoped to see her new companion, this time bringing some food so both could snack on if he came. To her surprise, he had beat her, while he had something dangling in his mouth. It seemed familiar, yet she could only distinguish it as the precious leather jacket that Sirius wore. ‘Shit! He’s gonna think I stole’ she considered, sliding over to the dog and taking hold of the cool material, “Hey, Sirius. Mind letting go?” She hushed her tone, giving a slight tug on the sleeve she had grasped in her hand. The dog eased up a bit but didn’t let go, “You don’t understand how much trouble this will cause, please.” She hissed slightly, surprising herself at her own tone, “Sorry, it happens when I get worked up.” She sighed, letting go and sitting on the ground. In her distressed state, she looked forward, the grasp on her mind loosening until the Jacket was placed on her lap and the dog ran out of sight. Confused, she got up, taking the jacket and trying to chase after the dog, only to run into… human Sirius.

“Hey, what’s got you crashing into me like that?” He smirked, looking at her with a glint in his eyes. He watched her flustered state, which was much different than her inside the school, but that wasn’t her, “You seemed in a hurry.”

“Out of my way Black,” She hissed, her mask back on, “I need to find this dog. It had black fur that was mangy, kinda looks like you.”

He laughed, “It looked like me? Now that’s quite the observation love.” He smiled at her, “Also is that my jacket?” He played off.

She looked down actions panicked as she slammed it into his chest, “That stupid dog somehow got ahold of it and brought it to me.” She growled, shaking his hands off of her in an angered manor, “You name one dog after you and they suddenly bring me your possessions.” She huffed, pointing a finger at him, “I swear if you had something to do with it ill shove my-”

“I did.” He shrugs, shoving his hands in his robe pockets, “I was there the entire time.”

She looked at him, clearly puzzled, “What do you mean? I made sure no one was around. It was only me and Siriu- You spied on me as a fucking dog!” She yelled, “I told you things that could fucking get me disowned. Things I haven’t told anyone. You…” she faltered, sitting on her knees, tears collected again, “You made me think I finally had a friend.” She spoke, her voice cracking on the last word.

Sirius didn’t think, instead, he just hugged her shaking body, pulling her into his lap as she cried, “You do.” He whispered into her hair, pressing soft kisses to her hairline, “You still do.”

She smiled, hugging him, “I’m scared, Sirius.” She spoke, “My family, here. It’s all so dangerous for me.” She spoke, “I’m scared of what they’ll do.”

Sirius pulled her as close as he could, resting his chin on the top of her head, “I know. My family is the same way. It got to the point where I’ve been disowned.” He whispered, “But it turned out good for me. It meant I was no longer chained down.” His voice carried out softly, and he could feel her trembles lessen, “We’ll figure this out.”

So they sat there on the ground, Y/N not worrying about who saw. She finally had an escape, an adorable escape who just happened to disguise himself as her dog friend, but it was a safe friend, one she felt comfortable in his arms.

A/N: So ill be releasing a new series prologue soon as like a ‘Hey! New Series is in the making’ and honestly i’m extremely happy about it. The planning was so good and it’s going to be a series, The Series is called ‘The Night, Dusk, and The Day.’ and honestly i’m unbelievable happy with it.

#Sirius Black #sirius x reader #sirius black x reader #sirius black x you #sirius black x y/n #sirius orion black #Sirius Orion black x reader #Harry Potter #harry potter fandom #harry potter imagine #harry potter reader insert #harry potter x reader #x reader #casscanwrite

121 notes · View notes

kokoro-no-kizuna · 5 years ago

Text

Mobile Friendly Rules (Read Before Interacting)

THESE ARE JUST A FEW GENERAL THINGS I FEEL ARE IMPORTANT TO BE ADDRESSED BEFORE I GO ANY FURTHER, SO PLEASE TAKE THE TIME TO READ THEM.

I know they seem long but some of it is also just information I thought was important for you to know before interacting with me. And a lot of it is generic stuff too but please still read anyway.

- ★ First and most important thing is that the mun has a very serious cannibalism trigger, which includes ANY form of people being eaten (including animals or monsters or any such other creatures eating people). (Excluding vampires, as that doesn’t typically involve the eating of human flesh, and rather simply blood itself. Zombies however, are included). As such, please tag all SNK or Hannibal related posts, especially with such things in them, but even the ones without such scenes in them, due to the fact that these two shows/fandoms are the reason I learned I have this trigger, and so the entire thing now can cause my trigger due to association, and memory connection to it. Also I ask that you tag any other shows/fandoms/gifs with such things in them as well. Please and thank you very much. My blacklisted tags are: SNK, Shingeki No Kyojin, Attack On Titan, AoT, tokyo ghoul, tg, Hannibal, Cannibalism, tw: cannibalism, twd, the walking dead, walking dead, zombies, and hunting trophies. Any form of these (capitalization does not matter, however spaces do) will be caught by my blacklist, so I would appreciate it if you’d use one of these for those posts. Also suggestions for other possible blacklist tags that I may have forgotten are much appreciated. Also as an added note, I will not follow, RP with, or associate in ANY WAY, any blogs that have to do with my triggers. (Multi-muse blogs can sometimes be okay, this more applies to blogs that post SPECIFICALLY about the fandoms that trigger me). If you are a multi-muse blog that has characters from these fandoms, all I ask is that you be sure to tag them with the fandom they are from, with one of the tags in my list, and tag any of the triggers. We’ll be perfectly fine if you do!

- Secondly, I am not here just to to roleplay smut. I WILL do so if I feel like it and if the roleplay goes that direction after building up the relationship, however I am not here for that. I do prefer however if our smut RPs are placed under a read more, if at all possible. I will not RP smut with underage muns however. Underage muses, depending on the age (and if our muses are close to the same age, eg: Both our muses are 16, cuz teenagers do things, as much as we might dislike the fact they do, and no matter how much we wish they wouldn’t) I may still write it. It’s very dependent on the particular muses. I will not RP smut with a muse that is 18 or over, and a muse that is underage. I will not RP smut with muses that are legitimate children (14 and under). However despite my willingness to write it, it doesn’t mean that it will happen if the other mun is not comfortable with. I don’t force it. I don’t need it. I just basically accept that that kind of stuff happens, and it’s a very realistic thing. My nsfw tag is #n;sfw so you are aware, because the original nsfw tag doesn’t work as well anymore.

- I am a multiship/multiverse blog, however my muses will likely be very selective with shipping for the time being however I am still happy to discuss ships and will happily consider them. Also a note, that I will ship with multiples of the same character, if the mun of those blogs wishes to ship with me. I find each relationship is different, seeing as each mun plays their character a little differently.

- I will RP more violent NSFW RPs, however ONLY as long as I am in the mood for them. Anything triggering will be tagged. The mun of this blog is (well) over 18.

- Apologies, but I absolutely WILL NOT RP with people who RP in first person. It is something I cannot stand and I just will not do it.

- ★ I am better at roleplaying ships with males (BoyxBoy/Yaoi/etc), due to being more familiar with it and having more experience with it ((as I myself am very very very gay, and also trans (which is where the issues with writing about female parts makes me very uncomfortable comes from) )). I may however attempt to ship romantically with female characters, since romantic ships I can do, but please keep in mind it is something I am not as good at or as comfortable with, so if in the end, I decide I am unable to do so, please be understanding of this. (Especially if smut is included in the ship. I cannot smut with female characters, sorry. I am well aware it’s dumb that my brain rebels to it but it doesn’t change the fact that it does.)

- I can be slow sometimes (or often) with asks or replies. This usually happens because of my muse being fickle or me thinking a meme or ask prompt would be fun, however sometimes when I actually get them, my muse decides to just be like NOPE, or my depression kicks up and I lose all motivation. Also sometimes I tend to forget things, or leave stuff in my askbox to reply to later, and then I forget about it or get distracted. If this happens, I apologize. Please try to be understanding of this, since I will NEVER ignore you or your asks on purpose. (The only case where it would be ignored is if it is something stated in my rules that I cannot respond to, that you obviously failed to read or are attempting to do anyway.) I do reblog things with the INTENT to answer EVERYTHING that shows up in my inbox, however my intentions don’t always pan out.

Next topic of discussion.

Concerning OCs and shipping with them:

- ★ OCs that are not connected to any fandom in particular/Multifandom OCs. Basically as I like to call them, floaters or drifters. I may attempt to roleplay with these. It can still be iffy, because my brain can sometimes make stuff more difficult than it actually is or needs to be, and it depends on each particular OC, but as I have recently been developing a few fandomless OCs myself, I find my understanding of them has grown a bit. That said, sometimes I need to be able to connect them with something, as each fandom has a specific world to them. I need a consistent, solid world anchor to be able to understand the character, which drifters don’t have, so I can struggle to RP with them. I’m willing to try though! I believe this issue is connected to my being autistic, since certain things my brain just refuses to understand unless it is worded a certain way or done a certain way.

- ★ Self insert OCs. Really. Please just no. I cannot stand self inserts above all else other than Shipper OCs. Admittedly, there are a rare few good ones out there. (And those are fine). However those tend to be very few and far between, and 98% of them tend to fall into the not so good category to put it nicely, and I just.. I can’t do it. There is nothing else to say to this except just NO. I apologize for this, however I just can’t. Also, this applies to FULLY self inserts. This does not apply to characters that simply share some traits with you, as often we roleplay a character because we can connect to them somehow.

- Canon Genderbends (there are exceptions sometimes with these). This subject is a touchy one, since my mind is very rigid unfortunately when it comes to how I view them. This might stem from my own personal gender struggle (as I am trans and FtM), however genderbends have always been something I have a lot of issues with, and so 98% of the time, I will not RP with them because I have to fight my mind to reply. Temporary genderswap M!A’s however, when handled properly, are no issue for me, and in such cases I will happily roleplay with them.

- Shipper OCs. The type of character I hate more than any other. If you made your OC just so you could ship with a bunch of people and that is the only purpose for their existence, do not even talk to me, or approach my character. Don’t even try. I literally cannot stand these types, and they fall right up there with my hatred of self inserts. So sorry. But just no. This doesn’t mean I ship shame if your muse happens to end up in lots of ships. That’s fine. It happens. I know the feeling when muses just click with lots of other muses. Sometimes it’s like that. But if their ONLY purpose for existing, is just so you can ship with endless characters, please go away right now.

- Canonically unknown family member OCs. Whether it’s a sibling for my character or for someone else’s that was never mentioned in canon, I just can’t. (If you want to RP a family member of my character that I have mentioned in my character’s info, please ask me beforehand as I usually have an idea already of what their family member is like, but usually I will be okay with that as long as you ask me first before just going ahead and doing it.) I’ve never been able to RP with them, for a multitude of reasons, one of the main being they often end up reminding me of self inserts or genderbends. I have been unsuccessful at breaking this way of thinking towards them despite attempting to many times, and so I just cannot do it, personally. I am sorry.

★ I hate to have to do this, however I have had A LOT of trouble with people not reading and following my rules in the past, and or speaking about or talking about/not tagging my major trigger, so if you have read my rules, please inbox or IM me with “Catshark”. I ask this of people because it also helps a lot with my anxiety, and keeps me from wondering and worrying in the back of my mind if I might actually get triggered by something. I know it can be tedious to do this extra step, and I hate that I even had to add this step in the first place, however after years of roleplaying, and dealing with people, it became necessary due to several bad past experiences in tumblr fandoms. It was not added on a whim, so please take the time to do so.

There may be more added to this later if I think of something. Thank you for taking the time to read this.

#mobile friendly rules post #blog rules

1 note · View note

beyondthetemples · 5 years ago

Text

{{ “Be Honest” mun meme

{{ Questions list taken from here:

https://www.tumblr.com/dashboard/blog/hellhaeths/182092480007

What would prevent you from following someone? Not trigger-tagging, or not using cuts for ns//fw scenes. (I have really intense emet*phobia, so if you don't tag for that, or won't tag for it upon request, I absolutely cannot follow. Savior catches most posts for me, even if they're not tagged, but there are just So Many Euphemisms and Various Ways to Describe It that it only works 75% of the time.)

Are aesthetics important to you? If they are, why? As far as blog theme, not really-- I just like fiddling around to find something that evokes their General Vibe, and seeing what themes other muns like! I won't judge by them though. When it comes to thread aesthetics, I actually prefer to leave them utterly unformatted and plain-text as possible. I have ADHD and Fancy Unicode and Symbols and All That makes it really hard for me to focus on what's going on in the thread, not to mention I don't have the attention span to match another mun's Styling like that. (Also, fun fact: I always have my Tumblr Dash at 75% zoom, and Dove’s theme already has text at a Very Readable Size, so nothing ever needs to be Smallified for me.)

What current rp trend do you hate? I don't think there are any I "hate", though I get confused on all the Different Verses that everyone has. (In all my years of writing fanfic, I've only ever written Exactly One (1) AU, and I never read them outside of rp. AUs just aren't my thing.)

How do you explain rp to someone in the real world? "Taking turns writing what the characters are doing." Everyone afk has been pretty supportive. (They all know I'm a writer, so like... it's Nothing New.)

Do you prefer interacting with male muses or female more? Why? I genuinely don't care either way! Guy, gal, nonbinary pal: as long as they're fun to write with, I don't mind a bit. (And Dove has no preference, either.)

Do you prefer writing male muses or female more? Why? Statistically, I have 3 female muses (4 if we count Evangeline as her own person and not just A Part of Dove Manifested)... and only 1 male. (And technically, both Srentha and Leyla are genderqueer, so it's really only Dove and Kary that are cis women.) But that's not intentional? Evangeline is feminine because Dove is feminine, and Kary was originally my girlfriend's-- if she was a male I still would've hardcore adopted him. It just kind of worked out that way. I just enjoy writing people, not gender roles.

Name any three things about the rpc that bother you. 1.) The aforementioned Verse Thing. (It doesn't really bother me, I'm just easily confused by Similar-Except-Vaguely-Different Things due to the ADHD.) 2.) Some people still don't know that godmodding isn't okay. 3.) The distaste for OCs??? I guess that doesn't exactly "bother" me either, because people are allowed to have preferences... but, I mean, I spent several years active in, and then Actually Running, a group of 1300 members on dA completely DEDICATED to OCs, and it was a blast, so I just don't understand why people don't like rping with them as much as canon characters. I personally find OCs more satisfying to explore, more surprising in every thread because you just don't know what to expect, and you have a LOT more freedom for plotting and reactions! Like! You can Shed the Constraints of Canon and Revel in your Newfound OC-Based Freedom!! Truly Become your Character's GOD!!!

What is your opinion on exclusivity? Do you practice it? Why / why not? Nah, I love the variety different muns can bring to the same muse! Other people can stay exclusive if they like. Being an OC mun, it doesn't exactly affect me. 8F

Have you ever had a bad experience with commissions? As either someone who makes them or as someone who buys them? (I don't really know how this pertains to RP?) But there was one time when someone gave me a really vague commission request, out of the blue, for a fandom I know absolutely nothing about, and just kept saying things like "Whatever you think they'd do!" when I asked for plot, characterization, or preference details... I never finished it because I Didn't Even Know how to START.

What do you know now about rp that you wish you knew when you first started? The reply doesn't have to be perfect. Or dramatic, even. Not every reply is going to shatter someone's heart or absolutely make their day. And that's perfectly okay!

Have you been involved in drama? Do you regret it? Nnnnot on Tumblr. (There was a LOT of drama amongst admins of the dA group, which strongly attributed to the decline of me RPing on dA, but I definitely do not regret standing up for myself. I do wish I'd been able to foresee it, though, and brought someone else on staff who was actually going to, you know, do the job they applied for?)

Have you ever thought about leaving rp? What caused it? What changed your mind? Never! Well not on Tumblr anyways. There was a period where my favorite partners were all going inactive, and I couldn't find anyone who wanted to interact with Dove, so of course I was despairing, wondering if I'd ever get to explore what I wanted to explore with her. But then I decided, you know what, so what if I can't find any canon Titans to advance her Tumblr timeline? I'll just fill in the blanks with fanfic canon, and work from there! Making that decision was so freeing.

Do you think rp has had a positive or negative affect on your life or you as a person? Oh, positive, absolutely. I may be too busy to really attend to it much nowadays, but my writing style has improved DRAMATICALLY, I've made so many friends, and I've learned things about Dove that I never would've discovered in the stories alone. (Or at least, it might've been discovered on a ten-year delay. 8F)

How has rp changed you personally? I was able to find fast friends, make connections with people over common interests, and my very first experience with leadership happened because I hung around a TTOC dA chatroom (because, specifically, I’d gotten ADDICTED to rp), came to love the people and characters, and decided, when the current admins had to step down, I would like to step up.

If you could change one thing about rp on tumblr, what would it be? Why? I'd like tags to stop breaking, that'd be nice. (But that’s an issue with Tumblr itself, not the rps.)

Have you ever sent a message to yourself on anon? Why? Pff, no. Mostly because if I really want something to happen, I'll either post an open, OR I'll do what I'm doing here, and just answer the questions myself. 8F I have a lot of fun doing this with headcanon question lists.

Have you ever sent hate to yourself on anon? Why? No, but that's because I'm all about learning (+spreading) positive self-talk, de-escalation, and avoiding drama. Drama doesn't serve anyone.

Do you delete anon hate or post and address it? Why? I address it and then block the sender, because I want everyone to know I don't stand for that. And I have this stubborn streak about standing up for myself, so, you know... Gotta Address It First. (And I've defended Dove from Mary Sue accusations since I started posting about her in 2006, so it doesn't bother me, but I love pointing out all the reasons that, Jack Rider voice: You Are Wrong!)

Have you ever felt pressured to write something you weren’t comfortable with? Nope, but that's because if I can't or don't want to, I'm open and transparent about it. (Not on Tumblr, anyways. There was one particular person in the dA chats that kept trying to make RPs All About His Muse, but we shut that down too.)

Have you ever followed someone because you felt like you had to, not because you wanted to? Hell no! I've never Automatically Followed Back, and it's right there in my rules, I need a little communication before I start interacting.

What would make you block someone? Anon hate, reblogging/replying to rps that don't involve them, starting their own rps on my posts, Bad Takes in the Tags, shipping something I genuinely can't stand... I use the block button pretty liberally. I just don't need that stuff in my life, in my tags, or on my dash.

Have you ever stolen something from someone else? Well I have adopted a couple of headcanons re: Canon Characters from the teentitansheadcanons blog. (Like hc that, one time, Beast Boy was a bug and someone almost squished him, so now they put all the bugs outside, just in case. I love that for some reason, so I adopted it.) And every now and again I'll see something in fanfic I like: Azarath Has Two Suns, I saw that in a fanfic and it just felt so RIGHT, so I adopted that too. But, I mean, rping as an OC, there's really not a lot I can steal. 8F

Have you ever had something stolen from you? If so, how did you handle it? Not on Tumblr, but somebody once stole a picture of Srentha from dA and used it in a random webs-page blog about their dreams? ??? I have no idea why they used him, or how they even fOUND him, but I kinda just shrugged and let it go.

Are you open to duplicates? Why / why not? (Isn't this basically the same question as "are you exclusive"? Because I have the same answer. I am, because I like seeing other muns' interpretations of the same character.)

How do you feel about vague posting? Use your own judgement for your own blog, but it's not something I do myself. If I have to vaguepost to vent something, I'll usually go on a more private blog, or at least stick it under a Read More.

Do you follow people even if they don’t follow you back? Yes! I like reading rps almost as much as I like writing them.

Do you read people’s rules before following or interacting? Always.

What is your opinion on “reblog karma” and do you practice it? I try to! Sometimes I can't figure out what to send in for the blog I get in from, but most of the time, I'll send something any time I reblog something. I really appreciate it when people send something in before reblogging from me, personally. c: (I get it if you can’t or don’t want to. But it sure is nice!)

How have you responded to popular slang used on tumblr? Do you use it in every day life? Do you use it at all? Not really, but I rarely use slang at all. Unless I'm actually talking about rp, muses, muns, etc, then I'll use those words.

Is there something you don’t know the meaning of but you haven’t asked anyone because you think it’s supposed to be general knowledge? Was there ever something you had to ask someone to explain? I'm that Ravenclaw who always asks questions as soon as I encounter I don't know, and I don't use words without knowing what they mean. Kinda defeats the purpose of words that way.

Have you ever experienced discrimination? Well, Dove has, since people have that "I don't like OCs" mindset. Or "she's related to a canon character, so she's automatically a Mary Sue". It's not as big of a Discrimination as sexism or racism, don't get me wrong! But it HAS limited our scope of interaction, and I personally think it’s a little unfair to make judgments like that.

How do you feel about personal blogs following your rp blog? Go for it.

Have you ever cried while writing a reply? Mmmmaybe once? More often my heartrate just raises a little in an exciting moment, or I write out a ten-paragraph response in a one-hour fit of delighted manic wordsmithing, but I've definitely been touched. (I'm just... not very good at crying when I'm focused on writing. 8F)

Do you read other people’s threads or do you only read your own? There's definitely a bias towards my own! (Before my EHD died, I had about a hundred and fifty rps saved as word documents.) But I also enjoy reading others' threads.

What’s one thing that other people seem to hate that doesn’t bother you? Hmm...Spelling and grammatical errors. When I was copying chat rps to word docs, I started editing the replies for readability, and that habit kinda transferred to Tumblr, so when I'm not in a hurry, or I have an Unusually Long Attention Span, when I copy the replies, sometimes I'll just edit them, but I'm not mad about it. Just got into that habit.

How do you feel about tagging triggers? Do you tag them? How do you determine what is triggering content and what isn’t? It is absolutely ESSENTIAL for me to have triggers tagged for ME, so of course I extend the same courtesy to others. I don't presume to know what triggers people; I've made it very clear that if anyone needs something tagged, they just have to ask, and I'll tag it. No questions asked. (Though if they want to vent about it, I'm open to that too.)

What advice would you give to someone new to rp? Just GO for it! I know it can be scary and intimidating and overwhelming to see a great writer and think, "Gosh I want to interact with them So Much".. .and you know what, sometimes you will get rejected. Sometimes you just won't mesh with muns. Sometimes your characters don't have a very exciting dynamic. But you'll never find those Goldmine RP Partners if you don't at least ASK.

#ooc rebloggables

2 notes · View notes

wxnnabe · 6 years ago

Note

number 6 w narancia Mayhaps?

@ narancia is best friend, what a tip top friend good on ya mum

You once drew comfort in the trio often sat in the park on a bench or lounging on a picnic rug. After a frustrating day of school, you would pass by the trio of misfits often-when you first saw them, you recognised them almost straight away-the mafioso of Passione, at least in the neighbourhood you resided in, were treated with respect. Bruno Buccellati was, after all, a good man, and his actions followed his name like a trail of evidence to that claim. You would only have to ask around a bit to know half of the ways he would go above and beyond for the rest of the community, and it was hard to admit that he was actually and probably very capable of murder. The trio here were amongst his little rag tag team-you would see them fleetingly, around about the city.

But you managed to notice them parked next to the water fountain first when you heard a commotion happening as you turned to the very opening coming home from school one evening. Two of the boys were tackling each other, pens and books flying. It seemed like any attempts at a peaceful picnic were lost, and you couldn’t help but think this wasn’t the first time as the third one had sat back and complained for them to knock it off. You felt something hit your leg, and as you bent down you found a pen-probably from all the fighting happening almost right in front of you. You picked it up, and for a brief moment glanced at the fight unfurling in front of you.

As luck would have it, your eyes caught on a book that was thrown onto the edge of a plate, smashing the plate and propelling some of the shards to your crouched figure. The bits of broken china and food on the plate were flying right at you, aimed for your face. Your hands flew up to protect yourself, and you barely managed to protect your face from the flying pieces of cake and fine china debris. Finally, the two stopped fighting to the crash of the plate and the scuffle and a muttered curse as you struggled to find your footing with a searing pain that was now throbbing through your arm. There was a sudden silence as their friend flew into action, calmly walking toward you.

“Ah, now look what you’ve done!” He calls out to them, and the two break apart, the blond one straightening up his bizarre suit. The other huffed slightly, but peered over to what had gotten his friend so worked up. You looked to the man looming in front of you. He was equally dressed in an insane get-up that you would have laughed at if not for your current situation. He gave you a wary once over, and you realised that you were still holding onto the pen in your hand. Words tumbled out of you in a stammer as your brain tried to keep up with what was happening.

“S-sorry I just, thought this was yours and I was gonna slide it back to you-” The one with the bandanna cut you off, pointing to your left hand.

“Hey, you’re bleeding!” He looked mildly concerned, though you could still see the cautious look from his friend in his eyes. Your eyes glanced from his to the man in front of you, to your hand as you bent it over to have a proper look where the throbbing was coming from. Sure enough, a piece of the plate had wedged itself into your arm, blood trickling down from your elbow. You blinked as a drop trickled down from the wound to the tip of your elbow. You let out a small mutter of “ouch” before extending your arm slightly as the blood dripped onto the pavement. The boy in front of you held your hand, and tilted your arm slightly to get a better look.

“Tsk…hey, at least next time watch out for your surroundings, you two!” The boy who was crouched next to you flashed you a warm smile.

“You’re in good hands, honey!”

You later learnt of their names. Guido Mista, the one who would playfully flirt with pretty girls and trembled at the sight of anything in pairs of fours. Pannacotta Fugo, one of the boys fighting, was smart and kind, but you learnt quickly not to tease his temper. And the last, Narancia Ghirga, he one who called out to you; he was energetic, and loud-but their was a fierce loyalty and trust that he gave to his friends you almost envied.

Often times, one of the others from the gang would tag along with them. Abbacchio and Giorno were nice, but reserved. Fugo explained they were often there so your little group wouldn’t turn into a four.You’d like to say that you were friends with them, but Fugo would deny it.

“You don’t want to be friends with us. You don’t want anything to do with us, if you can help it,” It frustrated him, when you hung out with them, but he eventually got used to it. Mista seemed indifferent to you; you had your suspicions he was simply acting cool, though, because he’d be all over you the moment you offered to shout them a pizza. Narancia did warm up to you, and would now welcome you every time you turned through the park. You would chat with the three casually, and Narancia would quiz you on school and your assignments. He seemed to pale as you described the multitude of your work, and Fugo would hastily change the subject. Narancia confided in you later on that he had dropped out very young, and was trying to study to finish his schooling.

“That’s really amazing, Narancia! If you ever need any help, just ask yeah?” You were sat cross legged next to Narancia, with Fugo chatting with Giorno about the book he was reading next to him and Mista off buying a pizza, losing some bet the group were haggling over before you came by.

“Yeah, I guess…studying’s a pain in the ass, so thanks for offering,” He grumbles, and you laugh.

“If it wasn’t difficult, it wouldn’t be worth doing right?” He gave you a mischievous grin.

“Right. Oh, and who are you again? Some kind of old wise master?” You were about to playfully smack him when Mista slides some pizza boxes down and plonks himself down with a loud sigh.

“Man, can we wait ‘til there’s five of us to start makin’ bets?” Narancia gives him a smug grin as his mouth is already stuffed with a slice of pizza.

“But then we won’t be able to exploit you and your phobia!” Mista looks about ready to cause a scene, but Giorno cuts in between the two and opens another box.

“It’s not like your short on cash,” Mista takes another slice, and sighs again, his tone pointed to the boy next to you as he speaks up.

“I just don’t like watching my money drain to a rigged bet, that’s all,” Narancia picks up on this, and leans back to catch Mista’s eyes.

“Oi, we didn’t rig it at all! Your just obsessing over nothing is all!” Mista stands to this, his slice long forgotten.

“Hey, don’t make me go over this again! I’m serious, four really is bad news!” While the two bickered on, Giorno had turned to you with a curious look.

“Why are you always here?” Despite how it was posed, his tone and expression didn’t look malicious. And though he had asked you with a serene smile, you could see he wanted an answer that satisfied the question. You pondered for a while. Surely you knew that they were dangerous? If the wrong person saw you hanging out with them, they could get the wrong idea about you…or, even worse, what you meant to them. Being kidnapped and held for ransom wasn’t exactly on your bucket list.

“Well…I mean I guess you guys are like my friends, right?” You considered them close. Narancia especially. For some reason, the two of you just clicked, and a couple of times he would even walk you home from school, just to get some time in to vent or ask you about your day. You’d gotten pretty adept to calming him down from his outbursts, and you’d like to say he’s made you a bit more confident to just have fun. You really did look forward to hanging out with them.

“Have you ever taken any thought to if you got hurt because of that?” Fugo snaps at you, but his eyes betray his worry. You note that he doesn’t shoot down the prospect of ‘friends’ with some relief.

“No one’s going to hurt you,” Narancia startles you, jumping into the conversation.His attention turned away from Mista, he’s now looking directly at you with a deadly serious tone in his voice. In your peripheral, you can see Giorno smiling, though you can’t bring yourself to break eye contact with those violet eyes. He looks dead serious.

“Sorry?” Your still reeling from that statement, No one’s going to hurt you. How on earth could he be so sure?

“I said, no one’s going to hurt you. No one will hurt you, not on my watch!” He gives you a grin, and suddenly he’s back to his normal self again. He takes a playful bite out of the slice of pizza in your hands, and with a “Hey!” he laughs, and the dark mood from the conversation is long forgotten.

#whoops I forgot the read more #this one's a long one #I just wanted to demonstrate narancia being a very protective friend #narancia ghirga #writing.meme

19 notes · View notes