#step by step

[associatedwithpumpkin]

So Let’s Talk…

For many adults, the mere sight of a pile of dirty dishes can trigger memories of their childhood trauma, leading to feelings of anxiety, shame, or worthlessness. Even if they have the skills to complete the task, their emotional landscape can create barriers that hinder their ability to follow through. This struggle can feel isolating, as it may not be readily apparent to others why a seemingly straightforward household chore can provoke such intense feelings.

The journey of healing from an abusive childhood is complex and often filled with setbacks. It involves unlearning negative thought patterns, building self-esteem, and developing the ability to advocate for oneself. For adults who experienced this kind of upbringing, simply knowing how to do the dishes isn’t enough; they may need to navigate their emotional responses to the task first.

To foster a healthier relationship with chores for all children, it’s essential to teach them in a supportive and encouraging environment. Here are some key approaches:

1. **Model Positivity**: Adults should model a positive attitude towards chores by showing that they can be a part of daily life. Use language that frames chores as a shared responsibility rather than a burden.

2. **Encourage Autonomy**: Allow children, regardless of gender, to take ownership of their tasks. Instead of enforcing chores through punishment, help them understand the importance of contributing to a communal space.

3. **Provide Guidance**: Teach children how to do chores by guiding them through the process rather than forcing them. For example, you can turn washing dishes into a fun activity by making it a game or incorporating music.

4. **Normalize Mistakes**: Make it clear that making mistakes is part of learning. This helps children develop resilience and reduces the fear of failure that can stem from abusive environments.

5. **Open Communication**: Encourage children to express their feelings about chores. If they’re feeling overwhelmed or frustrated, creating a safe space for those emotions can help them articulate their needs and develop healthier coping mechanisms.

6. **Celebrate Achievements**: Recognize and celebrate the completion of chores, no matter how small. Acknowledging their efforts can boost their confidence and reinforce positive behaviors.

7. **Teach Life Skills**: Emphasize that chores are essential life skills that contribute to a healthy lifestyle. This includes teaching the benefits of maintaining a clean space for mental and physical well-being.

By using these approaches, we can help children build a healthier relationship with chores, reducing the likelihood of trauma manifesting in adulthood. The goal is to create a nurturing environment that fosters independence, self-worth, and emotional regulation, empowering individuals to tackle daily tasks without the weight of past trauma.

When it comes to teaching children about chores and responsibilities, especially in sensitive contexts where trauma may be a concern, there are critical practices to avoid to prevent further traumatization. Here’s what NOT to do:

1. **Do Not Use Fear as a Motivator**: Avoid threatening or instilling fear as a way to get children to do their chores. This can create anxiety and reinforce negative associations with responsibilities.

2. **Do Not Yell or Berate**: Refrain from raising your voice or using harsh words when a child does not complete a chore. This can be emotionally damaging and may trigger past trauma.

3. **Do Not Punish for Mistakes**: Making mistakes is part of the learning process. Avoid punishing children for errors in completing chores, as this can lead to shame and fear of trying again.

4. **Do Not Dismiss Their Feelings**: If a child expresses fear, anxiety, or frustration about chores, do not minimize their feelings. Acknowledge and validate their emotions, showing understanding and support.

5. **Do Not Overwhelm Them**: Assigning too many or overly complex tasks can lead to feelings of being overwhelmed. Keep chores age-appropriate and manageable to help them feel successful.

6. **Do Not Compare to Others**: Avoid comparing a child's efforts to those of their peers or siblings. This can create feelings of inadequacy and pressure, making them reluctant to engage in chores.

7. **Do Not Ignore Individual Needs**: Every child is different, especially if they have experienced trauma. Do not assume a one-size-fits-all approach; tailor chores to fit each child's unique capabilities and emotional state.

8. **Do Not Make Chores Gendered**: Avoid assigning chores based on gender stereotypes. All children should learn to contribute to household tasks, reinforcing that these responsibilities are not gender-specific.

9. **Do Not Present Chores as Punishment**: Chores should not be framed as a consequence for misbehavior. This can associate responsibilities with negative experiences, pushing children away from taking part.

10. **Do Not Neglect Positive Reinforcement**: Failing to praise or acknowledge a child’s efforts when they complete a chore can diminish their motivation. Celebrating small successes helps build confidence.

11. **Do Not Force Compliance**: Forcing a child to do chores without their willingness can lead to resistance and resentment. Encourage participation rather than demanding it.

12. **Do Not Ignore the Importance of Teaching**: Simply telling children to do chores without explaining the reasons behind them can lead to confusion and frustration. Teach them about the importance of contributing to the household.

By avoiding these practices, you can help create a nurturing environment that fosters a positive relationship with chores, promotes emotional well-being, and minimizes the risk of further traumatizing children.

When supporting an adult who experienced trauma related to chores or responsibilities as a child, it's essential to approach the situation with sensitivity and understanding. Here’s a guide on what to do and what not to do in order to help them navigate their feelings and encourage healthier behaviors:

✅ What To Do:

1. **Listen Actively**: Provide a safe space for them to express their feelings. Listen without judgment and validate their experiences and emotions.

2. **Be Patient**: Understand that healing from trauma is a process that takes time. Be patient with their progress and avoid pushing them to overcome their fears too quickly.

3. **Encourage Open Communication**: Foster an environment where they feel comfortable discussing their feelings about chores and responsibilities. Encourage them to share their triggers and concerns.

4. **Offer Support, Not Pressure**: Offer to help with chores or responsibilities without imposing pressure. Let them know you’re there to support them, but allow them to take the lead in what they are comfortable with.

5. **Normalize Mistakes**: Remind them that it’s okay to make mistakes and that they can learn and grow from them. Emphasize that everyone struggles with tasks at times.

6. **Celebrate Small Wins**: Acknowledge and celebrate their efforts, no matter how small. Positive reinforcement can build confidence and motivate them to continue facing their challenges.

7. **Provide Resources**: If they’re open to it, suggest resources like therapy or support groups that specialize in trauma and mental health. Professional help can be incredibly beneficial.

8. **Model Healthy Behaviors**: Demonstrate a positive attitude towards chores and responsibilities by engaging in them with a sense of calm and positivity. Your behavior can influence theirs.

9. **Encourage Mindfulness**: Introduce mindfulness techniques or grounding exercises that can help them manage anxiety when faced with tasks that trigger their trauma.

10. **Respect Their Boundaries**: If they express discomfort or resistance to certain tasks or discussions, respect their boundaries and don’t push the issue.

🚫 What Not To Do:

1. **Do Not Minimize Their Feelings**: Avoid dismissing or downplaying their feelings about chores. This can make them feel unheard and invalidated.

2. **Do Not Pressure Them to Conform**: Forcing them to engage in chores or responsibilities before they are ready can lead to increased anxiety and resentment.

3. **Do Not Compare Them to Others**: Avoid making comparisons to how others handle chores. This can increase feelings of inadequacy and hinder their progress.

4. **Do Not Use Guilt or Shame**: Avoid using guilt or shame to motivate them to complete tasks. This can be damaging and may trigger past trauma.

5. **Do Not Assume You Understand**: Everyone’s experiences of trauma are unique. Avoid assumptions and instead ask questions to understand their perspective better.

6. **Do Not Criticize Their Efforts**: Critiquing how they approach tasks can be discouraging. Instead, focus on encouragement and support.

7. **Do Not Ignore Their Triggers**: If they mention certain tasks or situations that trigger their trauma, do not disregard these. Acknowledge and take their triggers seriously.

8. **Do Not Avoid the Topic**: While it’s important to be sensitive, avoiding the topic altogether can prevent healing. Engage in gentle conversations when they’re ready.

9. **Do Not Enable Avoidance**: While it’s important to be supportive, don’t enable avoidance behaviors. Instead, gently encourage them to face their challenges at their own pace.

10. **Do Not Forget Self-Care**: Supporting someone with trauma can be emotionally taxing. Ensure you also practice self-care and seek support if needed.

By following these guidelines, you can create a supportive environment that helps the individual navigate their trauma while fostering healing and encouraging healthier behaviors over time.

[puba24]

I really love Gravity Falls and time to time do some stuff :3

[queenoftheantz]

I actually took photos of my process this time! I always look for these when i try to learn the medium, so here you go! Details on the process is in the alt text!

[animusrox]

[90's Sitcoms]

[grungesniper]

Good evening friends, Thank you so much for all the love on my previous Disco Elysium animation! 🙏💖

I’ve gotten a lot of really good questions in the comments wondering “what is the process like?” “how did I made it?” and so forth.

I did the pre-production rotoscope in procreate, then exported them as PNG files for post-production edit in After Effects 🌟

I hope this video can shed some light into the multi-step approach of 2D animation.

In the meantime take care! I’ll catch you all in the next post 😄✨

[pinkkop]

Day 27 - 15 Days Days BL Challenge

Day 27: Top 3 15 BL Kisses?

You're not the boss of me!!!! I do what I want!!!!!!

please don't hate me, I just couldn't choose only 3 kisses

... sorry #NotSorry

So here are my 15 favorite kisses in no particular order!

Since I couldn't add EVERY single GIF of how these kisses happened and progressed, you should all go check out the full posts these GIFs are from, so you can experience the kisses in their full glory ✨

These 1-3 GIFs really only show a fraction of how good these kisses are.

Brave Boys

Second Chance

Time of Fever

Kinnporsche the series

The Eclipse

Love in the Air

Choco Milk Shake

Secret Crush on You

Never Let Me Go

Love Class 2

Step by step

Monster Next Door

Just ignore that this is from the pilot trailer and not actually in the show.

City Boy Log

Semantic Error

I feel you linger in the air

I recommend pretty much every single of these shows so if you want to know more or just where to watch any of these, shoot me a message!

Good kisses need good chemistry so you're guaranteed that in every single one of these shows.

And finally an honorary mention: Dai and Shun from The Boyfriend, who's first kiss could have been straight out of a BL 🤯

The original challenge is here and part two here.

[its-where-the-wild-things-are]

[piningintrovert]

#ear (+ sometimes neck) kisses my beloved

[thelatestkate]

Shop , Patreon , Books and Cards , Mailing List

[tanuki-kimono]

To complete past diy kimono dressing for Sylvanians Families/Calico Critters I shared before (see 1 / 2), here is a new step by step by @haluchobin to create cute easy to put on obi :

Tie a thin elastic into a loose loop around the tail

Slip both ends of a ribbon through the loop and sew into place

Tie another ribbon around the elastic covering the knot. Style it into a bow, you can try to mimic real musubi if you want

Put on the finished obi and enjoy!

[poofroom]

Here are some painting tips, as promised. I hope they will help beginner artists!

Composition

Position of characters on the sheet

Choose the location of your character to be beneficial to the appearance of the art in general, you can accentuate the important places where the viewer should look first by using perspective and composition.

Tone sketch

Set the lights based on references, but adjust to your own, favourable lighting.

Contrasts come in many forms. Contrast in color (warm and cold), values (dark and light), shapes soft and hard, straight and curve, etc.

Less is better. Work on the details of the most important part of your work while cutting down everything else. If you do strong detail in one place, don't forget to add looser detail in another so the viewer's eye can rest. For example: If you are detailing a portrait, don't detail the background as much. Next to a place of high detail, there should be a place of low detail so that the picture does not look overloaded.

All in all, you can twist and break perspective, anatomy and shapes to convey your idea better. No rules are made of steel, they should support your imagination, not restrict it

Anatomy

Break down objects into simple shapes to arrange them in space.

Check references! plasticity comes first, then structure (muscles are important, but proportions and line of movement come first).

Take a photo of yourself, you will be able to understand how to perform your pose naturally. Color/light.

Light is part of the composition, put it in a way that highlights the important things. Air perspective

General rules of composition. From the general to the particular, first prepare the general scene, correctly place contrasts and accents, make everything important in contrast, and take the unimportant into an aerial perspective. (aerial perspective, or atmospheric perspective, refers to the technique of creating an illusion of depth by depicting distant objects as paler, less detailed, and usually bluer than near objects.)

When all the points are ready we can start working out the details.

When all the details are finished again it's back to the overall picture, looking at it from a distance. Check if the accents you wanted to draw attention to are working. They should have the highest contrast. Check if the contrast is not created by objects on the edges, where you don't want the viewer to pay attention. For example, if you are painting a portrait then the focus should be on the face and not on the details of the clothes or details in the background. (You can always convert the image to black and white and check the contrast)

Save the stages of your work to check against the initial idea and see what things have changed for better or worse!

[madigan-thompson]

Whelp....Egghead has been nuts.... 😶🤩

Anyway, here are the boys all nice and colored and lighted and such. And now, just to dig my own grave...I want to draw the WHOLE STRAW HAT CREW 😶‍🌫️

[puba24]

Just a little more time...

[wanderlust-in-my-soul]

The touch of your lips still lingers upon mine. (Part 2/?)

A Boss And A Babe

Step By Step

Minato Shouji Coin Laundry Season 2

At 25:00 In Akasaka

Deep Night

Moonlight Chicken

Last Twilight

Unknown

This Love Doesn't Have Long Beans

Bad Guy My Boss

My favorite bl-tropes-collection.

[kodasea]

Rendering step-by-step (2022)