#just like venting I guess
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#idk man#I published a chapter of my long fic which was the first explicitly queer chapter and like#I find it disheartening that bookmarks went down#like I was very clear that that ship was going to be included in the tags but idk man#I know there’s been so much written about the misogyny in fandom#but like to see readership go down after including a wlw ship#just like doesn’t feel good#of course maybe the reader noped out for another reason#I can’t know as much as I would like too#but my data analysis little ass wants answers#I also don’t really know what I’m getting at here#just like venting I guess#I know this isn’t a big deal#and I am incredibly grateful for everyone who’s read my work#like to the ends of the earth and back#just#musing on stuff
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[ID: a digital illustration of a deer blowing swirly smoke-like breath upward, a wolf chewing a bone to its right, and a crow flying above. The background is swirly dark blue and grey. End]
COLD BREATH
#crow#wolf#deer#i tried to post this the other day and it did not upload i guess#heres my heart beasts they have names the deer is Rory the wolf is Kaya and the crow is Oro#been a rough time#this was a good like vent/grounding drawing#loose patterns i always find kinda meditative. nothin too specific#just lots and lots of markmaking#keep the hands moving
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"We need more diverse queer representation!"
You cannot even handle queer jews.
#jewish politics#antisemitism tw#queer jews#queer antisemitism#i have realized the reason i'm posting way less on my queer blog is because of this#i'm posting on here WAY more because i (actually!) feel safe posting in a space where jews have followed me and i follow them#it's really disheartening but the stereotype that jews are super uniquely anti-queer isn't even across the board true like#i have felt safer around cishet jews than i do around cishet and even queer goyim#and clarification that i am still a work in progress but i don't think people care about that esp if they aren't invested in jewish spaces#i guess... happy pride?#just a quick vent i suppose based on the meme format that got popular here#(also the only reason i feel safe here is because i obsessively pre-emptively block antisemites and i have locked down my account before)#(i am Not afraid to turn anon off and i refuse to let strangers DM me haha)#(sad we have to do this but at the least i feel safe to post here! i refuse to not feel safe <3)
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this is the second time I've had bad symptoms and turned to art of the Patron Saint to feel better. Usopp save me. Save me Usopp. It's been a rough week.
#one piece#usopp#my art#talltales#I GUESS THIS IS VENT ART?#but it's silly enough so I hope it's ok lol#I've had cold hands and slight trembles all day. He understands me I understand him.#going 'I'm just like him fr' is the only thing working rn
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I met the me who made different choices
#idk what this means so dont ask#got the words stuck in my head and this is what I wanted to draw for it immediately#me at my desk. so.#I dont look exactly like this obviously. doesnt matter. anyways#hard time recently in a lot of different ways#lots of work to do!#given up on getting everything done I kind of failed at that. it was too much#so now I'm just trying to get anything done that will make the next 6 months not kill me again#ideally. 3 episodes. or the book#or like at least close enough to that that its basically that#I'm feeling really screwed LOL#I dont know how I've been working every day for so long and still havent done enough...#(its because the work load is way too much)#every time I take 1 hour for myself. to cook. or clean. or draw something else. or play a game. I feel so guilty auauau#I hate webtoon I hate this damn green app...#DOESNT MATTER!!!#what DOES matter is my art is good as hell... look at this shit...#the light. the colors. I love you red I love you green#I need to get more red pants I only have the one pair.#I saw this guy with red pants that had skeleton legs on them and I was like FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!!! I need them!!!!#I need to start sewing again. I dont have a sewing machine cause my apartment is too small so I havent sewn in years but I really want to..#I want to make clothes again... I need some vests I need some dresses..#I will not make pants or sleeved shirts because I dont hate myself#sketch#art#vent art I guess LMFAO its not#its just this fun little thing we like to call self expression#also this isnt how my desk setup actually is I scooted things around cause I didnt wanna draw anything twice. fuck it we ball#ok back to work
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day 1522
#amphibian#frog#frogsona#tip: dont become self employed you have to do so much taxes related stuff all. the. time#(in my country. who knows about america based on what ive heard about your taxes its probably worse)#i dont neeed help btw im just complaning because i had to look at The Spreadsheets#didnt do my bookkeeping correctly for 2 months but i fixed it👍#its not even THAT bad i just needed to draw like. corporate vent art i guess
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Being a Jane liker is so hard cause you go to her tag and it’s just a bunch of people lamenting how overhated she is and then continuing to ignore her, and being a Jake liker is so hard cause you go to his tag and it’s just tons of people making the most demeaning comments about him cause his character committed the crime of being annoying (unforgivable.)
#homestuck#jake english#jane crocker#vent#?#I guess hahaha#I am in the content trenches with these two#it’s always secretly about Dirk with them#Jane is Dirk’s bestie#Jake is Dirk’s boyfriend/ex#I just want content about them being friends/siblings/cousins or whatever#or with other people like Roxy or Jade#or even just stuff on their own#but nooooo always the same guy#and even the people who talk about how this fandom focuses too much on the dudes#characterize Jane as Dirk’s bestie and nothing more#I’m considering sharing my Jane analysis if only to bring more diversity#it’s actually kinda funny though that so much of their stuff revolves around Dirk#cause in canon that bothers Jane#how easy things are for him to just do#and she literally admits to being jealous of him#and while he interprets it to be mainly about Jake it’s honestly just in general#like he just does a bunch of stuff that she wishes she had the courage to do#and honestly he’s just more of a hero#they’re kinda like an inversion of John and Dave’s dynamic mixed with Jade and Dave’s#where from Dirks perspective it’s JadeDave in the sense that he just sees Jane as his silly friend who he must protect#while from Jane’s she’s the Dave to his John in that she wants to be heroic in the way he is#and like nobody does anything with that#The fandom ever focused on the boys takes Dirk’s side and says look at her#she’s just a girl
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Disappointed that, in spite of using a more accurate translation in Chapter 2 of Crisis Core, EC has switched over to the original English localization for Chapter 3—in spite of having Japanese audio, meaning you can literally hear that the lines exchanged between Genesis and Sephiroth are NOT WHAT THE SUBTITLES SAY if you have THE MOST BASIC UNDERSTANDING OF JAPANESE.
「いい だろう」 (ii darou) is not "come and try." It has never been "come and try." In context, it's literally "that's good" or "that would be nice."
Let me clarify this, once more: in Japanese, Genesis says "I'll be a hero too," and Sephiroth responds "That would be nice."
This fucked up no-homo English localization has utterly ruined Western fandom's perception of these two since the game first came out, and the continued refusal to fix it is one of the most infuriating things to deal with. It makes Genesis seem petty, bitter, self-absorbed; it makes Sephiroth seem arrogant, sanctimonious, like the kind of person who viciously belittles his closest friends.
That's not who either of them are, particularly not with each other. Genesis didn't want to surpass Sephiroth, he wanted to be his equal. And Sephiroth wanted that too! Sephiroth wanted an equal as much as Genesis wanted to be able to stand at his side! Sephiroth was as supportive as Genesis was determined, and both had too much respect for one another not to give these matches of theirs everything they had. Genesis would never accept a victory that wasn't genuine, and Sephiroth would never belittle him by offering such a thing.
They were playing. They were supporting each other. They were having fun working toward a mutual goal because they love each other.
It's been over 15 years and the update dropped during PRIDE MONTH and English localizers STILL HAVE NOT FUCKING FIXED IT.
#genesis rhapsodos#sephiroth#crisis core#ff7ec#ever crisis#nashi has an opinion#fandom vent#I guess I shouldn't be surprised#given that Glenn's lines in chapter 7 of FS#were ALSO subtitled wrong#although HE got to seem MORE sympathetic for whatever reason#note: he did not ask Sephiroth 'what are you doing' at any point#he yelled at him to stop#twice#just 'stop'#no questions#no requesting explanation#just#fucking#'stop'#but sure make it look like he actually asked what was going on#after all#if he HADN'T#that might look pretty bad right?#that might make his fucking tantrum afterward look EVEN WORSE right?#I am so tired#fandom ramble#kinda
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they deserved better idc 😐
#it was so cool seeing the sign language and isha being mute was never something that needed fixing#she found a home and jinx found a reason to live#i know people are saying jinx survived because of the scene with Caitlyn but like...#why would jinx do that? she wanted to die this whole season she wanted to die at the beginning of the episode & that depression never faded#her escaping through the air vents implies a will to live#something jinx did not have#i thought it felt like the ending of ep 7 in the season one#trying to kill herself with ekko cause she didnt want to die alone. she had warwick when she pulled out & detonated one of her monkey bombs#like I'd love it if she was alive and left cause yea fuck Piltover get outta there honey!#and Isha's sacrifice meant nothing. she's just not mentioned at all we didnt even see Sevika's reaction to her death...#not dc#arcane#arcane spoilers#jinx arcane#isha arcane#tw suicide mention#the ending with Caitlyn felt like another moment of her and Vi having no idea the severity of Jinx's mental health issues#vi was upset she didnt wanna fight and go make change and shit and never mentioned the ''my sister wants to kill herself''#as if jinx wasn't in a depressive state every time we saw her in that cell.#and her removing herself from the equation so the others can be happy is ??????#so i guess she was a jinx to her family??? that she was the problem? its a frankly gross message to send with a suicidal character#that yes actually your loved ones will be better off without you in the picture you complicate things
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please don’t be sad little sprout, you are loved 🌱 🖤
🌱
#🌱Thank you<33🌱#I guess my latest vent art post made some of you guys worried. I'm sorry ;;n;; )#but I'm alright. well.. kind of? Like I haven't done anything to myself kind of alright?#maybe I should explain bit about my situation but at the same time I don't feel comfortable to open up too much#but simply said it's about doing art as a job and mental health#Things haven't been going well but I am getting help for my mental health#This is all what I will say for now about my situation#I apologize again that I made you guys worried#but I do warn that I might post more vent art if I get enough energy to draw#this is just one way how I deal with my emotions#but if you don't like vent art I suggest to block the words vent and vent art#I remember tumblr has this option somewhere??#and uhh.. I don't really know how to end this post but thank you everyone who has been sending support<33#I might not know how to reply to them but I have read them all and I'm very thankful for all the support what you guys have given me🌱#Thank you🌱#ask#anon#me talking
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I realize that I'm very very late to this party, but I finally caught up with Bluey season 3........Brandy has skyrocketed to most relatable character by a country mile
#it's...actually quite uncanny#i mean i kinda knew it was coming because i've seen people talking about it#but it still hit hard#i...really appreciate that she's the older sister#although tbh i feel like chilli needs to lay off on the subtle judgement over brandy not being around#i feel like people who haven't been in this situation...even if they can sympathize with it intellectually...#i feel like they tend to underestimate just HOW painful and difficult it can be#being shamed for staying away is the LAST thing she needs here#anyways....#not sure how I feel about brandy being pregnant in The Sign#i guess it was intended to be hopeful but...........idk :/#my art#vent
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i see a lot of talk of fellow adhd and autistic folk feeling like they’re too much for other people but i don’t see a lot of talk about feeling like you’re not enough. low energy adhd and autism where it takes a lot of effort to use words so your way of showing affection is to sit there and vibe in people’s presence but it comes off like you’re not paying attention or it’s not “active” enough to count, or forgetting to reply to DMs (or like i said, Words Hard), and it again comes off as you not caring or ignoring people. it’s really hard to be putting in so much effort to maintain friendships you value only for that effort to not be seen, or to be read as apathy, or for it to be seen but still not be what other people want. even worse when you try and talk more and be more active in a relationship but you end up burning yourself out because you don’t have enough energy to maintain it.
#starscream.txt#i struggle a lot with feeling like i’m not Enough of a presence for people#i like to just. listen to people. but i’ve had several people stop talking to me because me just listening comes off as me not caring#or finding them annoying#which it isn’t#and it fucking sucks. idk#i understand RSD and the need for validation so i don’t begrudge anyone that#i just wish i could be met on my field sometimes. i wish my natural behaviors didn’t read like apathy#or annoyance#i wish people could see my ways of showing affection for what they are#vent i guess
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I think it says something that you got to see everyone’s dead body and were forced to be a participant to Curly’s torture at the hands of Jimmy but we don’t get to see him dead.
You don’t get to see the satisfaction of seeing the true cause of all the pain everyone went through get a single consequence and it’s so hollow. You don’t get a panning shot of his body, you don’t get splatter to show you it was messy. It just happens and then you’re just left there with all the remnants of what happened and unable to do anything because it’s over. It’s done and you don’t get to do anything about. It’s how Curly feels about what he didn’t do. It’s how you feel as you pilot Jimmy and can do nothing to stop him.
It’s how those affected by people like Jimmy feel after it’s all done. Seen some sort of due process or justice after every painful little thing. It doesn’t feel like enough after every, cause maybe it wasn’t enough. Or rather, it wasn’t done soon enough.
#like curly just watches as he’s finally free from Jimmy but left with all he did and all he didn’t do#it’s just so hollow cause it took so long that even if he got something deserved you can’t undo what he did and like#idk I feel like there’s something in the deliberate ways Jimmy is malicious like taking time and not even second guessing#no hesitating to crash the ship like he had so many chances to think of it was the right thing from angling the ship to disengaging the auto#pilot to letting curly run in instead of stopping him like#he could’ve been stopped and that’s where Curly failed but everything after? everything he said curly could’ve fixed if he just fixed the#initial slight? he chose to do deliberately he knew how dangerous the vents were#he had to go out of his way to get Daisuke in there and how he purposely chooses when to call Anya Nurse Anya or just her name#like grrr when I CATCH YOU JIMMY#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#jimmy mouthwashing
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Welp, as I was googling some images for Yasammy week, I came across a thread and turns out one of my favorite Jurassic YouTubers is homophobic and a Yasammy hater…
(More ranting in the tags)
#Guess I’m not watching his content anymore#I literally don’t care that he’s a Christian just stop spreading misinformation#I guess he would hate me for liking girls now#I’m so tired#and just a bit pissed off ngl#homophobia tw#Stop saying Yasammy was forced#They’re one of the most natural ships I’ve seen in media#Once again they wouldn’t care if one was a boy#I’m not even gonna watch the entire video on it#But I scrolled through the comments and… yeah…#Not what I wanted to see after my work shift#Jwcc#jwct#rant#yasammy#I’m going to pour my heart and soul into Yasammy week#I’m feeling spiteful rn#jurassic world camp cretaceous#not gonna send any hate his way but I just needed a place to vent#Klayton Fioriti#I no longer recommend his content…#Common L homophobe#Legit give me a reason as to why Yasammy is poorly written other than “they’re both girls#think of the kids watching this”#☝️🤓#No one is turning your kids gay Karen#Cry about it#womp womp#im so freakin heated rn
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I love being queer and I love being a mormon, but there are times when I'm just so tired.
#im really glad i found queerstake because i definitely would have left the church by now if not#i can't believe i went that long without any kind of community#i just guessed that there were other people like me because i couldn't possibly be the only one#but i hadnt met anyone yet who was queer a member and was planning to stay and i just felt so alone in this#i was actually on the verge of leaving and giving up when i stumbled across a post#i dont even know how it could have possibly crossed my path it was so random i really think god put it there because there is no way#especially in the moment i needed it that badly#it was just a part of a liveblog from a general conference that was especially rough on me and i saw the queerstake tag#because like. i dont want to leave. why should i have to i like it here i dont want to leave just because people dont want me here#and i just really want to be there and hopefully be fully out one day so that queer kids in the church can see me and know they aren't alon#but there are times when im just so bleh and tired and sad#vent#tw vent#queerstake
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mascot
#this isnt vent dw!!! i dont smoke either i was just kinda going for some sort of vibe#i know its usually played for laughs or like. dark humor whenever ppl draw mascots without their heads and u can see the actor#but i always found it fascinating and a little sobering. ever since i was a kid ive always been hyperaware of ppl in costumes#like. even if i tried to block it out id be thinking the whole time 'its not real. theres a person in that suit who gets paid to do this'#it used to be an uncomfortable nagging feeling but now its like. oh yeah theres someone with a whole life story doing this. idk#i think when i tell ppl im not conscious of my body its like. im not dysphoric or experience dissociation but. at the same time#it feels like my physical body doesnt fully outwardly represent me..?? like some sort of costume#i like to phrase it as being a giant hairless mecha and inside theres a very tiny puppy piloting the damn thing#and the other thing is. when i draw my sona i dont really see it as what i /wish/ i looked like or how i want people to see me#its like being in a costume and just. fucking around with some sort of barrier between myself and others#plus mascots arent allowed to talk and i dont really. engage with other ppl in public spaces that it kinda feels like ad lib#i share a lot abt my life but ironically im also a private person..... i guess it just gives me some sort of control over my identity#my art#myart#my oc#sona#mascot#furry#??? is this furry art????#twinkle#puppysona#edit: had to outline it bc i just realized it looks really weird on dark mode -_-
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