#just extreme self worth issues

[nerafris]

that's all well and good but it still feels absolutely impossible. especially stopping negative comments when they are/feel correct.

like how tf am I supposed to think anything other than "I'm useless" when I literally can't do anything useful?

a fools guide to not wanting to die anymore

by me, a fool who doesnt wanna die anymore 

never make a suicide joke again. yes this includes “i wanna die” as a figure of speech. swear off of it. actually make an effort to change how you think about things.

find something to compliment someone for at least 4 times a day. notice the little things about the world that make you happy, and use that to make other people happy.

talk to people. initiate conversation as often as you possibly can. keep your mind busy and you wont have to worry anymore

picture the bad intrusive thoughts in youe head as an edgy 13 year old and tell them to go be emo somewhere else

if someone makes you feel bad most of the time, stop talking to them. making yourself hang out with people who drain you is self harm. stop it.

[albatris]

monday: I'm gonna stop posting so many excerpts

monday two weeks later: here's another excerpt

anyway this bit delights me bc of. reasons. especially knowing how these two end up

like. oh! for a moment there I thought you two could have had a healthy relationship!

[angorwhosebabyisthis]

honestly it's been really healing being back to actively contributing things and writing out thoughts on tumblr the last week or so, because while twitter tends to be easier for me to write out Thoughts on without getting overwhelmed, the environment in the twitter fandom circles i'm interested in is not only infested with antis but cliqueish in a way that is caustic to the fucking soul if you try to express a thought that's more than three sentences long--a hundred times over if you're autistic in slightly the wrong way--and it's incredibly reassuring to come back to an environment where the very kindest and most inclusive people toward you are not clearly thinking the r-slur the entire time they interact with you lmao

[yellowocaballero]

man, reading ch3 was a ride, it's like all fun and jokes and then all of sudden, Nope! It's time to be sad now! but it's so good with it? like, I really enjoyed how seriously you took it, and that moment in the classroom was really like 'oh shit this is legit' in a way that had my heart just sinking in my chest and with the tone whiplash from the rest of the fic so far, it was just literally so good to read. also, seeing byleth and the rest of the class just kinda grapple with wth to do with dimitri while he's deep in this episode is just very interesting, especially when they all have their own hangups and issues with everything. 👍

YESSSSS. I'm always so excited to post the moment the story actually kicks into gear, and this chapter was it for Weekenders. A lot of fun.

I wrote a post a while back about people's discomfort with writing severe mental illness,

and while I wouldn't say Weekenders is a spite fic, it was influenced by how difficult it was to find non-modern AU fic that wrote Dimitri specifically as somebody on the schizophrenia spectrum/bipolar.

It was so hit-me-over-the-head obvious while I was playing! His entire personality and behavior flipped on a DIME in Part 1, and it flipped 'back' in Part 2. He couldn't switch topics, he was ranting incoherently, he was having headaches, he was doing nothing but training, he obviously wasn't sleeping or grooming, he was convinced a 12yo had orchestrated an assasination - that's not depression/anxiety/PTSD, and it's not even just a psychotic episode (mania does have elements of psychosis, hence the paranoid delusions). And, obviously, the actual hallucinations, delusions, antisocialness, lack of grooming, impulsivity, etc, of Part 2 that rang very loudly of a schizophrenic/schizoaffective psychotic break.

But equally important is the fact that Dimitri's illness did not make him hateful and homicidal. Dimitri was always a hateful person. I don't think he's naturally hateful nearly to the degree that he shows while having an episode, but one of the most important lines in the BL route is when Dedue just says that Dimitri was always angry and hateful, and that he just hid it. His behavior in late Part 1/part 2 is him losing all capability to hide it. I don't think he's a pathological liar, and I don't think the Dimitri we see throughout Part 1 is 'fake' - I just think he withholds a lot. Dimitri's cruelty is just as important as his generosity. His hatred is as important as his empathy. The horrible sides of his illness are just as important as the comfortable sides. Do you see what I mean?

That is what interests me about Dimitri so much. Dimitri wants to be Marth. Dimitri tries to be Chrom. Dimitri dresses up like Roy. He is not. He is an angry, paranoid, brutal murderer. Any depiction of Dimitri that forgets that - that unironically only protrays the Dimitri that he shows the world and never the sides of him that he's ashamed of - is kinda buying what he's selling, and it both demonstrates a deep disinterest in who he is and a discomfort with the sides of his illness that aren't palatable.

Dimitri's psychosis did not make him hateful (I think his PTSD had a lot more to do with his anger problems). It made him scared. Mania and psychosis are a very, very scary experience. His mind is constantly telling him that he's in danger, that Byleth's in danger, that everybody and everything around him wants to hurt and kill him, that he is a sinner if he doesn't avenge his dead family. And Dimitri is a good child soldier, and he knows that we destroy our enemies with prejudice. He's a good leader, and he knows that the BL are never safe and that their enemies are everywhere. He's a good son, and he knows that you have to avenge them. Violence solves problems and Dimitri is scared and angry and if he doesn't solve the problem he can't protect the woman and people he loves.

This is serious to me! I'm trying not to make this THAT long but I could go ooooon lol. I understanding wanting to either make him realistically/explicitly schizophrenic OR make him violent, because violent schizophrenics are a bad and harmful stereotype. But I think both sides of him are important, because I don't want to whitewash Dimitri's illness or his experiences. It's scary for the people around you. It very frequenty is triggered from trauma and hardship and it is informed by your life. Like many characters in FE3H, Dimitri is the product of the evils of his world.

Byleth's arc in this story is about her growing into a human being. It is shown as a beautiful thing. It is wonderful to be a person. It would contradict the message of the story to show Dimitri as anything else but a human being - flaws, traumas, SMI and all. He was Marth to her. That's the point.

I went on for soooo long lol but thanks for the ask!

[yikes-ajax-thats-sad]

Whisper you love me quietly because I know to love me is shameful

[caladbolg]

i am going to complain here where no one will see it bcos i have like 5 followers

[teethgnashing]

i need to stop talking abt body image issues with people who don’t have a double chin

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[faglaios]

Aw shinji :(

[plutosunshine]

Warning! Lilith in the houses.

Lilith represents our dark side and shows what we should be warned about. This article will warn you and help you be aware of your dark sides.

Lilith in the 1st house

Of course, the 1st house is about the person and their self-expression. Therefore, Lilith in the 1st house often intensifies how a person expresses themselves. They might possess a magnetic or enigmatic presence that draws others in, often without them realizing why. The intensity of self-expression can be played out as unwanted attention and too much focus on one's appearance. One may think others perceive them as superficial or don't take them too seriously. Also, be careful with over-focusing on your appearance since it may lead to anxiety, eating disorders, etc. Of course, this is the extreme case, but there is a tendency to unhealthily be overly conscious about the body. 

This placement can signify a struggle with darker impulses or hidden desires. It can lead to inner conflicts since these impulses are often not considered good in society. Be careful with your dark thoughts and impulses, which can lead to trouble.

There is a strong desire for independence and a rejection of societal norms or expectations. This rebellious streak can manifest in various aspects of life, including appearance, behavior, and personal choices. The 1st house is a house of Aries, so we can't deny the rebellious side. Of course, it is not bad; just be sure you don't cross the line.

There may be an ongoing battle with your identity, as Lilith challenges you to constantly redefine yourself. This is a reminder to engage in self-reflection, knowing that you are on your personal journey and are fully supported.

Embracing your darker side can be a catalyst for significant personal growth. By acknowledging and integrating these hidden aspects, you can cultivate a more holistic and authentic sense of self, instilling a sense of hope and motivation.

Lilith in the 2nd house

Lilith in the 2nd house can manifest as a deep-seated fear or obsession with financial security. This placement might lead to a tumultuous relationship with money, characterized by periods of extreme wealth and sudden losses. 

Power struggles related to resources may exist, either within personal relationships or through external circumstances. This can create a sense of mistrust or betrayal regarding financial matters.

This obsession with money may even lead to taboo ways of earning money. Be careful with dangerous thoughts about that since it may lead you into trouble. 

Individuals with this placement might have issues of self-worth and personal values. They can tend to derive self-esteem from material possessions, leading to an unfulfilled or empty feeling despite external appearances of success.

This position can also reflect a rebellion against traditional value systems, causing internal conflict and feeling out of sync with societal norms. Be careful with this tendency. 

The most important thing here is to stabilize your self-esteem. Having a healthy one, this placement won't bring any trouble.

Lilith in the 2nd house can bring out possessive tendencies, not just towards material possessions but also in relationships. A fear of losing what one owns might lead to controlling behaviors. Be careful not to turn your relationships into obsessive and controlling.

Jealousy can be a significant issue, causing tension and conflict both in personal and professional relationships.

Lilith in the 3rd house

Lilith in the 3rd house can manifest as some communication difficulties. This can include a tendency to speak harshly or bluntly, often leading to misunderstandings or conflicts. Your words may cause some trouble and gossip, so be careful.

Also, there might be a fear of expressing oneself fully, leading to repression of thoughts and feelings, which can later explode in destructive ways. Try to express your feelings more, especially through your words. Also, you need to choose your words carefully. Word is your weapon, so you can protect yourself and others. Be careful not to cause issues, gossip, and misunderstandings.

This placement can indicate intense and challenging relationships with siblings or within the immediate environment, including neighbors and classmates. There may be power struggles, jealousy, or betrayal involving brothers and sisters or others I mentioned. You need to learn how to handle these issues with grace and care, not to hurt others' feelings, and not to let others hurt you.

This may manifest as total distrust in any interactions. Don’t fall into these patterns, but try to understand the roots of the problem.

This placement often brings a restless mind, prone to anxiety and overthinking. There can be an obsession with seeking hidden truths or uncovering secrets, which can lead to mental exhaustion. 

The constant need for mental stimulation can result in a lack of focus, making it difficult to complete tasks or maintain long-term commitments. These are typical third-house issues.

Lilith in the 4th house

Deep, intense, and sometimes challenging relationships with family members might exist. You may feel misunderstood or suppressed by your family at times. Your family may be your weak point. You need to be aware of the dangerous influence of your family members (if it exists).

Individuals with this placement might struggle with suppressed emotions. They may find it challenging to express their true feelings, leading to internal conflict. Of course, your emotions and feelings don't go anywhere; they can kill you from the inside. So, find ways to express your internal self.

There's also a strong drive for emotional independence and self-sufficiency. These individuals often seek to break free from familial expectations or traditions that feel restrictive, empowering them to take control of their emotional journey.

They might often feel like outsiders within their own family or home environment. This can create a lifelong quest to find a place they truly belong. Be cautious, as this quest can lead to places that are not good for you. Stay aware and cautious in your search for belonging.

These individuals often desire to create a home environment that reflects their unique identity and values, which may differ significantly from their upbringing.

A complex relationship with the mother or maternal figure could exist. This relationship can be a source of both deep connection and profound challenge. Be careful, and don't let this affect your emotional world too much.

People with Lilith in the 4th house have a unique approach to nurturing others. They are drawn to non-traditional forms of caregiving and family structures, which can be a source of empowerment and confidence in their ability to nurture.

There's a profound need to explore and understand one's inner life and emotional landscape. This journey can lead to significant personal growth and transformation. You may use any tool, whether psychology, astrology, etc.

Lilith in the 5th house

Individuals with Lilith in the 5th house often possess a powerful and sometimes unconventional creative drive. They might be drawn to art forms that are provocative, dark, or that challenge societal norms. Also, there can be a strong need to express oneself authentically, even if it goes against the grain. This placement can inspire one to create works that reflect deep personal truths and inner turmoil.

There is often a magnetic, almost taboo allure to romantic relationships. Individuals with this placement might attract intense and passionate partners or find themselves drawn to forbidden or unconventional love affairs. However, be cautious since this can lead to some issues in your personal life. 

Also, romantic relationships can be a battleground for power dynamics. There might be control, secrecy, or manipulation issues that need to be addressed. Overall, the relationship area may be the area you should be warned about. Just be careful with the mentioned tendencies.

We can't skip one of the main areas of the 5th house—children. The relationship with one's children (of course, if you have them) can be profound and intense. There may be a strong desire to instill a sense of independence and self-awareness in one's children, but there are also potential conflicts around control and freedom.

There can be a desire for intense and sometimes risky pleasures. Activities that provide a sense of liberation and push boundaries can be particularly appealing. It is alright, but be careful since it can become too much.

Your hidden or repressed desires might emerge, leading to explorations of pleasure that are unconventional or socially frowned upon.

Lilith in the 5th house encourages you to integrate and embrace the shadow aspects of your personality. This is crucial to express yourself and not suppress your creativity and uniqueness. It involves acknowledging and expressing parts of yourself that are often hidden or denied.

Lilith in the 6th house

Individuals with Lilith in the 6th house often feel confined by traditional work environments and rigid routines. There can be a strong desire to break free from monotonous tasks and seek more meaningful or unconventional work. This can become a challenging experience if you have personal planets in Virgo or the 6th house. It can create inner conflict where you want to set up a routine but rebel against yourself. This never-ending circle is overwhelming.

Despite the rebellion against routine, there can be an obsession with efficiency and perfection in certain areas. This duality can create internal tension and stress.

Conflicts with authority figures or difficulty conforming to workplace norms may arise. This placement can lead to power struggles or a refusal to submit to others' control, which can go to extremes, so be careful.

Lilith in the 6th house can indicate repressed health issues or unconventional approaches to wellness. There might be a tendency to avoid traditional medical advice or seek alternative healing methods. Be careful with your health; don't skip checkups. Also, stress influences your health more than it does with others.

Emotional and psychological issues can manifest as physical ailments. Understanding the connection between mental and physical health is crucial for individuals with this placement.

Lilith in the 6th house may lead to a desire to serve others in unconventional ways. This could involve advocating for marginalized groups, engaging in taboo subjects, or working in fields challenging societal norms.

Setting boundaries when helping others might be difficult, leading to feelings of being exploited or unappreciated. It's important to find a balance between service and self-care. Learning to put yourself first would help.

Lilith in the 7th house

Individuals with Lilith in the 7th house often attract or are drawn to intense, transformative relationships. These connections may be passionate and magnetic and usually involve a power struggle. A sense of raw, unfiltered emotion can make relationships both exhilarating and exhausting. Be aware of the tendency to have co-dependent relationships. Your connections may quickly become toxic if you are not careful.

Lilith's influence can bring to the surface deep-seated fears of betrayal, rejection, or abandonment. These fears may stem from past relationships or be unconsciously expected. This can lead to a fear of being fully vulnerable, resulting in trust issues or a tendency to keep partners at arm's length. 

The relationships in a person's life are often mirrors, reflecting the unresolved issues and shadow aspects of their personality. Lilith here forces the individual to confront their own fears, insecurities, and darker desires through their interactions with others. This can be painful (especially with trust issues) but ultimately transformative.

Individuals with Lilith in the 7th house may feel a rejection or discomfort with traditional relationship dynamics. This placement can indicate a need to challenge or subvert conventional expectations around marriage, partnership, and roles within these relationships. You may find yourself drawn to unconventional partnerships or struggle with societal norms in relationships.

Power struggles can be a prominent theme in relationships. Whether one feels overpowered by a partner or seeks to dominate, there's often tension around control. The individual may need to find balance and equality in their relationships.

Lilith in the 8th house

Lilith in the 8th house is often associated with a powerful, magnetic sexuality. This placement can indicate an individual who experiences deep, primal desires that might sometimes feel overwhelming. There’s a strong connection to the raw, instinctual side of sexuality, which can be both liberating and challenging. This person may seek out intense, transformative sexual experiences that push boundaries or explore taboos. Be careful, and don’t go to extremes since this side of you may cause trouble.

The 8th house is the area of transformation, and Lilith here often indicates a need for deep shadow work. The individual is called to confront the darker aspects of their psyche, including fears, obsessions, and repressed emotions. This process, though difficult, is essential for personal growth and empowerment. Through facing these shadows, the person can undergo profound transformation and healing. If you ignore this deep desire to transform and heal, the universe will remind you, but in a challenging manner.

Power dynamics are a significant theme with Lilith in the 8th house. The individual may experience power struggles in intimate relationships, particularly around control, dominance, and submission. This can manifest in a fear of being controlled by others or an intense desire to control situations and people, especially in shared resources or deep emotional bonds. These tendencies can make a relationship toxic and co-dependent, so be careful with them.

The 8th house also rules themes of loss and betrayal. With Lilith here, there may be a deep-seated fear of betrayal, particularly in intimate relationships. This fear can lead to issues with trust, and the individual may either avoid deep connections or become overly possessive and protective of those they care about.

The 8th house rules shared resources, and Lilith’s influence can bring financial power and control issues. Challenges around inheritance shared finances, or debts may often involve intense emotions or power struggles. The individual might need to learn to navigate these situations with integrity and self-awareness.

Lilith in the 9th house

Lilith in the 9th house often leads to an innate distrust or outright rejection of traditional belief systems, whether religious, cultural, or philosophical. This can cause friction with family, community, or society, particularly if the individual was raised in a strict or dogmatic environment. Your challenge lies in navigating these conflicts without alienating yourself or others completely. 

Individuals with this placement demonstrate remarkable courage in their resistance to authority figures, particularly those in educational, religious, or philosophical contexts. They bravely challenge teachers, mentors, or spiritual leaders, which can lead to isolation or conflict. Your challenge here is learning how to express dissent in a way that is constructive rather than destructive, harnessing your courage to bring about positive change.

Because Lilith in the 9th house pushes the individual towards unconventional or alternative beliefs, there can be a sense of not fitting in anywhere. However, it's important to remember that your unique perspective is valuable and can contribute to the diversity of thought. Your challenge is finding or creating a space where your unique perspective is not just accepted, but celebrated, and where you can connect with like-minded individuals who appreciate your individuality.

The constant questioning of beliefs and philosophies can lead to an ongoing identity crisis, where the individual struggles to define who they are and what they believe in. This struggle with commitment is a common experience for those with Lilith in the 9th house, and it's important to remember that it's okay to have fluid and ever-evolving beliefs. Your challenge is in accepting this and finding peace in the journey of self-discovery.

Lilith in the 9th house often leads to deep questioning of societal moral codes and ethics. The individual may struggle with the relative nature of morality, feeling conflicted about what is right or wrong, especially when traditional ethics seem hypocritical or arbitrary. Your challenge is developing a personal moral compass that feels authentic while navigating the complexities of ethical dilemmas.

Lilith in the 9th house often drives a person to search constantly for a deeper meaning in life. This can result in failing to fully arrive at a satisfactory understanding of one's purpose. Your challenge here is to embrace the journey itself as the purpose, finding meaning in the exploration rather than in a fixed destination.

Lilith in the 10th house

Since the 10th house is about public image, individuals with Lilith in the 10th house often feel a strong tension between who they truly are and what society expects them to be. They might resist conforming to traditional career paths or societal roles, feeling that these expectations suppress their true nature. The challenge lies in balancing your desire to be authentic with navigating societal norms and expectations, especially in your professional life.

Lilith’s presence in the 10th house can lead to situations where your reputation is questioned, misunderstood, or even maligned. You might be judged or criticized for not fitting into conventional molds, leading to potential conflicts with authority figures or the public. The challenge is learning to manage and protect your reputation without compromising your authenticity.

Lilith in the 10th house often strongly resists authority figures, particularly in the workplace. These individuals may need help accepting hierarchical structures or traditional career advancement paths, leading to conflicts with bosses, managers, or other authority figures. The challenge is finding a way to work within or around these structures without sacrificing your need for independence and self-expression.

Individuals with this placement may need help finding a truly fulfilling career, as they might resist conventional roles or be drawn to professions that are off the beaten path. There can be a constant tension between the desire for success and the need to do work that aligns with their values and passions. The challenge is to carve out a career path that allows them to express their unique talents and perspectives while still achieving their goals. It’s crucial to do so. Otherwise, you will feel unsatisfied and unhappy.

Lilith’s energy can sometimes attract controversy, particularly in the public sphere. People with this placement might be embroiled in scandals or situations where their integrity or character is questioned. This can be particularly challenging if they feel unfairly targeted or misrepresented. The challenge here is to remain steadfast in their truth and manage such situations with grace and resilience. I know it can be challenging, considering that most cases can be unfair. Still, it would help if you found this force in yourself that will allow you to go ahead without any hesitation.

The 10th house is often associated with achievement and success. Lilith’s presence here can amplify fears of failure or not living up to one’s potential. This fear may be one of the most significant for people with this placement. These individuals might feel intense pressure to succeed, leading to perfectionism or a fear of taking risks. The challenge is to redefine success on your own terms and to embrace the possibility of failure as a natural part of growth and learning.

Lilith in the 11th house

One of the primary challenges is a persistent sense of alienation or needing to fit in with social groups or communities. These individuals often feel different from those around them, leading to a sense of being an outsider, even in groups where they would otherwise share common interests or goals.

This placement can bring a deep fear of rejection or exclusion from social circles. The individual might be hypersensitive to being judged by others, leading to a reluctance to fully engage in group activities or to open up to new friendships. The challenge is learning to navigate these fears while still seeking meaningful connections. Be careful not to reject and push away people around you who are ready to be with you.

Lilith in the 11th house can also manifest as power struggles within friendships or social groups. The individual might find themselves in situations of competition, jealousy, or manipulation among friends. Alternatively, they may need to exert control or influence within their social circles, which can create tension. The challenge is to develop healthier dynamics where mutual respect and equality prevail.

Lilith in the 11th house often challenges collective ideals or societal norms. These individuals might feel disconnected from mainstream values or ideologies, leading them to reject or rebel against the prevailing social order. While this can be empowering, it can also create isolation if they struggle to find like-minded individuals or groups that share their alternative views. However, this rejection can also be a source of empowerment, allowing you to forge your own path and stand by your beliefs. It's a delicate balance, but one that can lead to a strong sense of self and purpose.

Individuals with Lilith in the 11th house may face challenges in pursuing their personal aspirations, particularly when those goals conflict with social expectations or the goals of the groups they belong to. They might feel torn between following their own path and meeting the expectations of others, leading to frustration or a sense of being held back. The challenge is to pursue your dreams while navigating the social dynamics that come with collective endeavors.

This placement can bring a fear of social failure, where the individual worries that their dreams or aspirations will not be accepted or supported by their social circles. However, it's important to remember that there are always people who will support and encourage you, even if they don't share your exact vision. This fear can lead to hesitation in sharing their goals with others or in seeking support for their ambitions. The challenge is to overcome this fear and to find the courage to pursue their goals, even if it means going against the grain. Remember, you're not alone in this journey.

Lilith in the 12th house

Lilith in the 12th house often indicates unresolved trauma or emotional wounds that have been buried deep within the unconscious. These wounds can stem from early childhood experiences, past lives, or inherited family karma. The challenge is that repressed emotions can manifest in subtle, insidious ways, leading to self-sabotage, irrational fears, or unexplained anxiety. However, this also presents an opportunity for growth and healing as you work to identify and address the source of your discomfort.

The 12th house is associated with the unknown. Lilith's presence here can amplify fears about life's mysterious and unseen aspects. This could manifest as a fear of losing control, fear of the spiritual or mystical realms, or even fear of one's own hidden desires and impulses. The key to overcoming these fears is self-awareness, as it allows you to confront these fears rather than allow them to fester in the background of the psyche, influencing thoughts and behaviors in unconscious ways.

The 12th house is associated with solitude and confinement, and Lilith in this position can lead to a tendency toward isolation, either self-imposed or circumstantial. The individual may withdraw from the world, feeling misunderstood, or overwhelmed by their inner turmoil. This isolation can be both a source of suffering and a necessary step for deep introspection and healing. However, the challenge lies in finding a balance between necessary solitude and unhealthy isolation that leads to feelings of loneliness and disconnect. By maintaining a balance, you can avoid unnecessary isolation that only makes you feel worse.

People with Lilith in the 12th house may struggle to form deep, meaningful connections with others. Their inner world can be so intense and private that they find it hard to open up or trust. You need to look at the whole chart, but with this placement, trust issues may exist.

Lilith in the 12th house can indicate a tendency to repress specific desires, needs, or aspects of the personality that the individual finds difficult to accept. These could be sexual desires, ambitions, or any part of the self that feels too threatening to acknowledge consciously. The 12th house is always about hidden deep traumas, so you can feel overwhelmed trying to process them. This repression can lead to inner conflict, guilt, or internal fragmentation. Your challenge is to bring these shadow aspects into the light, integrating them healthily and consciously.

The 12th house is often associated with self-undoing, and Lilith's influence here can manifest as self-sabotage or the presence of hidden enemies, both internal and external. These enemies might be negative thought patterns, addictions, or destructive behaviors undermining the individual's success or happiness. Your challenge here is to become aware of these sabotaging influences, whether they originate within or are projected onto others, and to develop strategies for overcoming them.

Lilith in the 12th house can heighten psychic sensitivity, making the individual more attuned to subtle energies and more susceptible to being overwhelmed. They may experience vivid dreams, premonitions, or strong intuition, but they might struggle to make sense of these experiences or feel overwhelmed by the intensity of their perceptions. This returns us to the fear of the spiritual world mentioned above. The challenge is to ground yourself and develop practices that help you manage and harness your psychic abilities in a healthy way.

The 12th house is connected to the process of release and forgiveness. Still, Lilith's influence here can make it challenging for the individual to let go of past hurts, grudges, or unresolved emotions. They may hold onto pain, either consciously or unconsciously, which can prevent them from moving forward in life. The challenge is to work through these feelings, whether through therapy, spiritual practices, or self-reflection, to achieve a sense of peace.

[ancientgoddessofegypt]

Astro Notes : Short N Sweet - The power lilith holds <3

Lilith in the 1st - Very strong personalities. Gifted in using the eyes to seduce others. Magnetic. Can fight the demons off of you so please be weary of getting to close if you don't want them to see what hides beneath the surface. There angelic, believe it or not. They're not here to see the world as you see it, they have a taboo personality, yes, but its also because they must learn how to live for themselves and not for anyone else.

Lilith in the 2nd - Cash cow. Can basically get any man to give them what they want. They have to be comfortable in getting under peoples skin, because they can trigger people with how they talk. Insensitive? Not exactly. Just doesn't budge and cares to be 'nice'.

Lilith in the 3rd - Creative freaks. Can use the mind in a million ways, but they still seek out one thing that works for them as they are very passionate people and whatever keeps their attention the most they'll go at it forever. They are use to the attention from people since primary school. So they like to hide a lot. They have a weird mind and they don't care to share it with too many people. If they ever considered writing, they could make some pretty interesting stuff. Sibling rivalries are a thing here.

Lilith in the 4th - Tumulous relationships with family & friends. It's because they're the outcast of the group. I mean, they know a lot and they can't stand for nothing but the truth. But sometimes the truth kills, even when they don't mean for it to be. Can be a hard knock life but they make it worth something. They're no angel, just the universe in the flesh. <3

Lilith in the 5th - Captivating presence. Lovely auras, and amazing bodies. Could be good at dancing. Could be a lil promiscuous. Could be a little dangerous. You never know. Secretive/private about their affairs.. But the stories they have I promise you its like reading a novel. Naturally sensual & can't get enough of them, even if you tried ;)

Lilith in the 6th - Goes hard for groups that aren't seen enough. Can have jealous coworkers or people who want to annoy them and get them out of character. Could also have sensual experiences with co workers. Demands compensation. Could be extremely well liked or hated no in between.

Lilith in the 7th - Spicy individuals. People love to hate them. Could have bisexual allegations from time to time. Most people like to be around them but despise them after a while. Sweet as a pie though, most people allow the rumors to get to them but usually these people are naturally sweet and empathetic. Popular loners.

Lilith in the 8th - Strong personalities. Capable of seeing beyond the veil. Has issues with society due to their daring nature but they do come out ready and swinging. Hypnotic presence. Can heal as much as they can poison, so be careful wit em ;)

Lilith in the 9th - Very beautiful spirits who are the epitome of being carefree. The universe takes them wherever their hearts want to go, and the journey is always something that last a life time. Being connected to someone with this placement could give you the feelings of something amazing. Always hold their hand tight because once their gone its over.

Lilith in the 10th - Dreamy auras. Have a knack for the public and the audience can feel their raw energy. Have haters from all area codes, this just makes them more confident. They know how to appease society well, and they can take on roles that others are too afraid to. This is great placement for lilith to be in.

Lilith in the 11th - Could had to fight to keep their self esteem in check. Due to being outcasted alot, they could of been the scapegoat for a lot of reasons that didn't pertain to them much. With time, they learn to accept that their energy isn't for anyone, and that their value is more than what you can define it. Helpful sweethearts who just wants to be around community that gets them.

Lilith in the 12th - The dream world is a nightmare. My apologies to y'all cause I'm suppose to start it off a little sweet. But this is placement of a witch/warlock. You guys have many gifts that go past the ordinary. And you more than likely come up with some ish down the line. There is a time where you will undergo a lot of spiritual refinement to keep your head going. Don't be afraid of what shows up, it might teach you something!

[noveauskull]

Sylus & Zayne As Your Bodyguards [NSFW]

characters: sylus & zayne x reader

warnings: 18+ smut, threesome, reader has implied anger issues, millionaire reader, bratty reader, bodyguards sylus & zayne, nipple sucking, fingering, clit teasing, oral (f! receiving), anal fingering, anal penetration, double penetration (piv), no protection, overstimulation

-----

"Bring me your expensive one" You sighed, sitting yourself onto the stools in the store, your bodyguards both standing on each of your side. Holding all the bags that had every product you bought.

The shop was empty with only employees standing in a straight line with their hands clasped together in front of their waists, sweat visibly dripping from their foreheads as they watched you cross your legs. You weren't in a good mood today.

No one in the world doesn't know you. You might as well be considered as the next Elon Musk. A young woman that is a wealthy self made millionaire, teenagers want to be you and women want to be with you.

Your success skyrockets everytime, even a step into a country has the charts doing zig zags, you can't lie when you say you love the attention and wealth you have. The past you would've wanted to be the current you as soon as possible.

Because of your dangerous status, you needed to have bodyguards by your side. It was clear to the press or anyone of the matter that you always had two of your favorite bodyguards by your side.

Their names were Sylus and Zayne.

The two men are quite talented in what they do, one would be extremely patient with you while the other would advise you on what not to do and what you should do. A perfect duo, almost like ying and yang.

Today you were shopping in China. At this point you've step foot on every shop there is in the mall, the one you're currently at probably being your 100th one. Specifically selling shoes.

"Ma'am, it's getting late soon. Shall we head home after this?" Your bodyguard, Zayne said in a monotone yet reminding voice, you glanced at the gold watch on your wrist with a furrowed brow.

"I still haven't gotten everything out of my system" You grumbled. This wouldn't have happened if the person you were going to meet today hadn't cancelled the date on you earlier.

You were supposed to meet a millionaire like you on a date in China, and yet that no good of a man ditched you last minute. You're literally worth more than him, how dare he leave you in the dust like you're nobody.

"Here is our limited edition shoes, Ma'am. A collaboration with the two best shoe companies in Ch-"

"Forget it. I'm not interested" You held your hand up to cut off the employee before standing up. Grabbing your purse in the process before walking- or rather, storming off.

Everyone knew that once you were angry about something, it sticks for quite a while.

As you walked out of the mall, you waited for Sylus to open the car door for you as you sat yourself in the back passenger seat, then he sat himself at the front while Zayne took the drivers seat.

You took out your phone before dialing a certain number, the car started with absolute silence as you held the device close to your ear, waiting for the person on the other line to pickup the call.

"Yes Ma'am-"

"Cancel everything with that man! And let it be known that I will sue him if he does not return all my gifts within the next 12 hours! I don't care if he isn't in the country just do it NOW!!"

You yelled, almost letting out a growl by how enraged you were.

Despite being a millionaire that everyone looks up to, there was a side of you no one, including the press, knows about.

You had extreme anger issues.

"You know what? I want a hitman"

You suddenly said, not noticing the looks you were getting from your bodyguards in front of you through the glass mirror in between the front of the car, debating on whether they should calm you down at the moment.

"M-Ma'am please calm down-"

Big mistake.

"Calm down? You want me to calm down???" You repeated, not realising the grip on your purse had already caused a crack on the tiny mirror you had inside it.

"Okay. I'll calm down" You said sweetly, but you weren't smiling.

"But you're fired."

With one press, you hung up. Refraining yourself from throwing your phone at the floor. At the same time, you had already reached your hotel, and Sylus had already opened the car door for you to walk out.

You stomped out the car, if you were ever reminded you should praise the company that made your heels, because they were able to withstand any pressure you put on them.

When you finally reached into the elevator, you tapped your foot continuously with crossed arms as Zayne pressed on the number of your floor, the silence was completely filled in with the continuous taps.

In a ding you reached your floor, and you walked out almost immediately, you stood in front of your room door before taking out your card and pressing it onto the scanner to unlock it.

Almost like an instinct, you ran onto the sofa and dropped your body, removing your heels and jacket off while your two bodyguards stood beside you in silence.

"Get me a drink" You ordered, right now you needed something to remove that fog that was clouding your head, and a drink would suffice.

"I don't think that will be a good idea, Ma'am. You still have an appointment to go to early in the morning" Sylus said, he had a straight face on as he told you this.

"Are you going against my orders?" You tilted your head to look at him, flashing him a look that would've threatened his job.

"No. I'm just suggesting something better" He answered, you could almost see a smirk forming in his lips as Zayne stood beside him with a straight face.

"And what's that?"

Suddenly, you were pushed onto the bed. You used your arms to hold yourself up as you watched your two bodyguards loosened their ties in front of you, this was the first time behaving this way, and yet you were intrigued.

Did they finally catch on you having the hots for them?

Your thoughts were interrupted when Zayne crawled himself onto you, planting a kiss onto your lips in a few smooches, before putting a hand to your cheek and leaning in for a deeper kiss.

Like an instinct, you kissed him back hungrily. You had no idea you were so starved for touch until now.

You watched as Sylus went beside Zayne, lifting up your shirt to remove it. Zayne released his lips from yours to let Sylus remove your shirt before kissing your again.

At the same time you felt Sylus unclasp your strapless bra, removing it off your body before sucking on your right nipple, making your breathe hitch against Zayne's lips.

Unexpectingly, Zayne had removed his lips from yours once again, now he was doing the same thing as Sylus, and he also began sucking on your left nipple. Now you had both men teasing your nipples with their mouths while your mouth let out shameless tiny moans, holding back from creating any noise.

You felt Sylus' hands move to your pants, pulling them down along with your underwear. Now you were completely naked while all they had removed was their ties, a little bit embarrassing, but you won't let the night finish unless they were completely naked with you.

Without realising, you already had a pool of arousal around your cunt, possibly leaving a string of it when Sylus removed your underwear. You had no idea you were this pent up.

Zayne's hands also began working, his fingers circled itself around your wet and sticky hole, almost building up the anticipation that he will put them in, but instead he just curls up enough of your slick and moves upwards to your clit, rubbing the wetness onto it.

"Eep-!"

You instictively twitched and the sudden contact of his gentle fingers on your clit, the wetness making his strokes on your clit more smoother. You could feel your hole clenching to push out more of your juices when he did that.

Sylus seeing how much you enjoyed having your clit played with wanted to participate as well, so he used the same hands that pulled your clothes off to circle around your hole like how Zayne did earlier, except this time, he slipped his finger inside with a squelch.

A loud moan left your lips when you felt Sylus' thick finger push into your twitching hole, satisfying the need of something to plug you up before anymore juices had left your body.

Not even a minute later he gave a few thrusts into your hole before adding two more fingers inside, now three fingers were gushing in and out of your hole, all while Zayne was teasing your clit and you had your nipples sucked on by the two men.

You couldn't help but roll your eyes back, laying your head against the bed headboard as you let the two men monopolize your body, letting every slurp of your nipples and every squelch of your cunt fill up the room's silence.

Had you knew the two were this skilled in bed you would have cancelled the stupid dates you've had with multiple men beforehand. It hadn't even felt like 30 minutes had passed by yet you already felt like you were going to cum, and you didn't bother holding yourself back.

You unconciously moaned louder with each thrust, feeling your hole clench around Sylus' fingers uncontrollably while Zayne's fingers kept on egging on your orgasm through your clit, in no time making you come undone when your orgasm arrived.

"A-Ah!!"

You held onto the backs of the two men for support as your cunt twitched under their fingers, you would've reached down to grab their wrists and stop them from moving whilst you were coming, but their faces on your tits were in the way.

Once they rode out your orgasm, the two removed their lips from your breasts with a pop. Now your nipples were sensitive, wet and swollen from how long and harsh they've been sucking on it, your areolas look puffy and red.

Without any warning, Sylus suddenly switched the positions between you and him. Now you were hovering on top of him while he was sitting below you, like how Zayne was kissing you earlier, he took the chance to kiss you as well.

Compared to Zayne's gentle and yearning kiss, Sylus' was more aggressive and hungry. You didn't notice that your cum was dripping onto his crotch since you were hovering over him, until you felt Zayne's hand rub itself onto your wet hole.

You didn't say anything and only focused on the kiss for the time being, your cunt did feel a bit sensitive from the fingering and orgasm, but you could handle another one.

Then you felt his hand slowly move upwards towards the other you had, rubbing it up and down in a swift moment that made your eyes wide open and break the kiss from you and Sylus.

"Hey! What are you doing?!" You yelled, turning your head to glare at Zayne who only locked in his eyes with yours, though you didn't expect to see him blushing with his ice cold face.

"It's alright, I know how to make it feel good" He said calmly, almost like he was in daze before he continued to rub his wet and sticky hands onto your anus, teasing the action that he will out in a finger soon.

Maybe it's because you were getting lost in the moment, but you let him continue on what he was doing, trusting him that he would do as he said and make you feel good as you waited for him to put in the first finger.

Sylus watching your eyes glued onto what Zayne was doing behind you probably felt a little jealous, because then he slowly slid himself down and forced your soaking cunt to meet with his face.

"S-Sylus!" You called out to the white haired man, who only smirked at you.

You felt yourself getting a little angry at his sudden smug personality until you were caught off guard by his lips locking in with your clit, since Zayne took the time to tease your hole while Sylus was kissing you the sensitivity you had earlier recovered, but it still brought a shiver to your spine when you felt his warm mouth on your cunt.

You were going to let out a whimper at Sylus' naughty approach until you felt a finger enter inside you at a hole you don't usually take in, making you let out a desperate moan and unconciously rub your cunt onto Sylus' mouth.

While Sylus worked his tongue onto your clit with each flick and suck, Zayne was thrusting a finger in and out of your hole, almost controlling your hips to move front and back to force you into taking the friction and have you moan uncontrollably.

The feeling of Sylus' tongue flicking around your clit then licking down to your hole and letting your clit touch his nose almost drove you insane, and the pressure of Zayne adding another finger inside you wasn't helpful either, the mix of discomfort and pleasure almost made your eyes roll back once again.

You couldn't help but continue to moan at the pleasures of having your holes played with, the more you leaked your juices the more Sylus would swallow it all down his throat and into his stomach, sticking his tongue out almost like he would swallow you whole if he wanted to.

Zayne made it clear that your hole was ready when you noticed how easily his fingers could suddenly move inside you, feeling each time his fingers would stretch your hole open to ensure it wouldn't be too tight to cause any displeasure, you almost felt embarrassed once again when you realised just what you were letting your bodyguards do to you.

Distracted by the overwhelming feeling of cumming again, Zayne continued to thrust his slender fingers in and out of you while Sylus worked hard to make you cum from your clit once again, like before, you felt a knot tie itself onto your stomach as your moans gradually became louder, indicating your orgasm was coming again.

You clenched your legs around Sylus' head, hands gripping onto the headboard for support as you stuck your ass out without even realizing to feel Zayne's fingers pound into the same direction where your orgasm was pooling in.

Before you could even react, your eyes lost it's focus before rolling to the back of your head, and your mouth hung itself wide open to let out the nasty noises you've been trying so hard to suppress.

You shamelessly let your body twitch onto Sylus' face, letting him lap his tongue all over your hole while you were still cumming until you finally calmed down.

Zayne removed his fingers from your hole to let it twitch around the air by its own before unzipping his pants to finally let his hard cock out, Sylus sitting up to wipe his mouth with his thumb and lick off any excess cum before doing the same with his zipper.

You watched as Zayne picked you up and made your front face him while your back face Sylus. Before you could even process your second orgasm, Zayne had already aligned his dick into your hole and pushed it inside, making your hole clamp onto his dick so hard from the unexpected greeting, as well as having another stimulating feeling onto your lower region for the 3rd time.

You let out a broken moan when you felt Sylus do the same to your ass, pushing his dick in slowly yet easily until your hole was completely filled in with his cock, making you have tears growing in your eyes from the pain and pleasure.

"W-Wai-"

Before you could even tell the two to give you a moment, they gave you one big thrust in unison. The movement caught you off guard so hard you could barely make a noise, your mouth was stuck open waiting to let out even a small croak, yet only the sound of both your wet holes filled in the silence.

You helplessly wrapped your arms around Zayne's neck and took in the hungry thrusts Sylus and Zayne were making you take, your sensitive nipples brushing against Zayne's shirt as he gave your neck tiny kisses.

Sylus' dick would've probably been too much to bare alone, but thanks to Zayne's dick hitting all the right spots in you, the discomfort Sylus was plunging into you only enhanced your pleasure to the point you were drooling and whimpering onto Zayne's neck.

What felt like almost an hour, you still continued to take in the thrusts of the two men inside you helplessly. Your moans now sounding like broken squeaks, at this point you've already came 5 times now.

You thought it was never going to end with these two, but then you felt their dicks twitch inside your soaking wet holes, the mushy feeling of your insides tighted up to force them to cum inside you as deep as they could, and that's what they did.

In the past 2 hours, they finally let out their first ejaculations. Filling your holes up to the point you could feel it moving inside you, a satisfied and relieved moan leaves your lips as you hear them groan together from your impressive hooks onto your holes.

The two didn't remove their dicks out of you yet, instead, while they were inside you, Zayne laid you down onto the pillows while doing the same with Sylus, now the three of you were laying together with you facing Zayne and Sylus behind you.

You thought they were going to let you sleep with their cocks inside you, until you felt a hand grip your thigh and lift it up, giving the two more access to move their hips freely, which made your eyes widen.

"Ma'am..." Zayne called out for you, his eyes looking as if they were deep in lust and daze while Sylus smirked behind you, both men blushing aggressively.

"Let's do one more round, please"

It seemed like the two men weren't going to stop at one round. You better hope you can still walk after tonight.

-----

A/N: I SAID I WILL DELIVER YOU ZAYNE AND SYLUS SMUT AND WHAT DID I DO?

DELIVERED IT!!

this waaaasss supposed to be an omegaverse where reader was in heat and Sylus and Zayne were alpha bodyguards (idea inspired by sakimenz on insta with Gojo and Geto) but then I realised im not into omegaverse stories as much as I thought i was (unfortunately)

BUT i hope this was a way more better approach then what I intended!!

p.s.

how i imagined reader in this oneshot SHSHHAHA

EDIT: if this post gets 1k notes in the next 2 to 3 days i'll make a oneshot of Sylus and Zayne as reader's sugar daddies cause im unstoppable ✨️😋

[lifeonmarz-blog]

Pluto through the houses: Synastry

1st: Both people have a way of prying under the skin of the other bringing all the insecurities they thought were hidden to the light. It can be almost jarring and abrasive. Even though its not intentional they pick up on it so naturally they probably didnt even know they hit a wound. This relationship may come about at a time when your self image and public persona is going through a change. Lying about that image can also be an issue here. Lying to protect how the other views your life. A lot of glamorization and intentional avoidant of details. These two can be mesmerized by the persona of each other. Pluto person is almost thirsty for the attention of house person. House person likes the attention but is much more nonchalant about it maybe even a little scared of plutos intensity. Their upbringing emotionally is similar but may not seem similar in the physical aspect of it. People could look at this couple as an odd pairing. It can seem taboo for one or both of them. You can tell that they were attracted to the darker aspect of each other. Its pluto so you know the power dynamics are being tested, pluto person is controlling over the house person. Sometimes that could be to extreme extents. They want their full undivided attention always. If pluto person releases their grasp this can be a very powerful magnetic couple. Manifesting with ease through how others view them together.

2nd: Pluto person ''levels'' house person up, this could be financially or with plutos image but essentially both people add to each others persona. The flow is more natural if the woman or more feminine person is the house person. Wishful thinking could be a problem here because this is actually a very romantic placement. The way love is expressed if very comforting and ideal for both people. Theres a mutual taste in the type things you enjoy so it becomes easy to believe you might not get this somewhere else. The dates are very fun and the couple loves to show each other off. This is one of the easiest houses to create abundance in as a couple. Balancing work and love is an obstacle, if both parties aren't equally as committed to setting aside time together. It can easily become a situation were someone feels neglected. It takes a certain amount of emotional detachment to have a long lasting relationship with this placement. Id say this is a more subtle place for pluto to be it isnt as harsh as some of the others.

3rd: Challenging each others views is almost second nature. Both help each other think outside the box. Their perspectives usually differ quite a bit so it makes for interesting conversation. Pluto person redefines how house person approaches business and relationship matters, offering constructive criticism that the house person usually appreciates. This placement can be nice for an entrepreneur and their partner. Pluto person sees house persons gifts and wants to help refine it. House person teaches pluto person new ways of achieving goals. Too much focus could be on career matters and the relationship could be on and off one or both parties could make excuses for why the communication isn't consistent. One person can try harder to keep the relationship together the other avoiding emotional intimacy. When things are smooth they view each other as the ideal partner then the communication waivers again. Pluto person encourages house person to come out of their shell. If you have any fears about expressing yourself without guilt or shame. In its positive this relationship will help you feel comfortable being yourself without judgement.

4th: Pluto person reminds house person of family member usually a parent. For better or worse. These two came together to unlock something in each others DNA, realizing something about their worth or finding a new sense of gratitude. They mesh well into each other, operating like they've been together for years even if they just met. This connection could've been established through insecurities or for financial benefit. There could be insecurities around how much more money one person makes over the other or secretly competing with each other. This relationship could demand a lot of time and attention being distracting to the career of one or both parties. Or on the flip slide someone can feel unseen and lonely falling to the backside because of the career of the other. Emotionally there's a feeling of being unfulfilled like something is missing. House person views the pluto person as their ideal, perfect match even, The childhood of these two was similar. They share similar wounds around the upbringing. Others may look at this couple and think why are they together? They don't care how people view them they have an understanding between each other. They view each other as someone they would want to have a family with. They are very giving towards each other the energy balances well they know the unspoken things that would make you smile. They fit well into each others families. This person can feel like your calm space, enjoying spending time together at home.

5th: They both love children and can want to have a family together. If they have pets they treat each others pets like their own. They see the beauty in each other and want show their partner off to the world. They introduce each other to a lot of new people blending into each others friends group really well. Power struggles can create tension because they could feel like the other person plots on how to have power over the relationship.Pluto person has a lot of control over the emotions of house person. House person may try to play it cool but pluto has a hold of them. Pluto person wants to lead the relationship but house person may not be okay with that. Public arguments could be familiar to them. It doesn't even have to be an argument but people can tell when they aren't on the same page. They can try to make each other jealous when there out together. Its exciting to see each other worked up. House person could want more public affection so the jealously feels reassuring. This connection could've started at some sort of get together or the first few times they were around each other there were other people present. They could embarrass each other in public flirting with someone in public in the lower natures. This connection feels very familiar to both people. They could feel like siblings not in weird way lol but just the way they were raised and how they think, its very similar to each other. They have alot of fun together. It takes both people back to childhood. This could've started as just friends then turned into something more.

6th: Friends to lovers type of vibe. This match could've been unsuspecting. Knowing each other for a while but just now deciding to give love a go. Theres a lightheartedness about this connection. Both people are just seeing where it goes without pressure or expectations. No expectations may not be the best thing though, it may keep these two in a cycle of unknowing. They can feel like they manifested each other but question if their ready for what they asked for. Self worth issues play a big role here. Theres changes that need to be made internally to make this connection work but one or both people are reluctant to change. Holding onto the past wounds from relationships. Making the assumption that everyone is the same. The energy in this connection can be unbalanced. Someone feels they aren't good enough for the other or thats implied by the other person. Routine are a topic of conversation, they could feel insecure about how they spend free time and feel the need to lie about what they actually do or feel uncomfortable about always doing the same things. On the flip side they can give each other better physical and mental habits, showing more efficient ways to get things done. Living a more healthy lifestyle and thinking more positive. They love spending the morning together getting ready together. The type to make sure you've ate and check in just to see how your doing. They show love by being reliable. This is the type of couple that would discuss what their gonna wear so their outfits are similar. They could have a busy schedule and have to plan time together. Meeting up could always feel so exciting because of the timing factor. Teaching each other how to be honest about your needs and expectations could be hard but pluto is in the 6th house for a reason.

7th: Pluto person wants to show house person off to everyone. They feel like they really got a catch and wants everyone to see how special house person is their very proud to be with them. They want to invest in each other, bossing up each others aesthetic and or finances. In the lower octave the masculine energy fears the feminine is attracted to them mostly because of the money or gifts. The masculine can have insecurities around their worth so they lead with money but then still feel unloved because they led with materials. Both people couldve came into the relationship with insecurities about the physical body they make each other feel confident and dissolve the previous thoughts. They want the same things in life, sharing the same values. Be aware of the promises you make not getting carried away in excitement and not being able to uphold it. Or vise versa the actions are more important than the words. They could've meet on social media or in a work setting. Theirs interest around what each other do for work. Something about the career is attractive to the other. They bounce ideas off each other and help further their career advancement. Maybe even working together. They don't mind putting pressure on each other to maintain a level of structure and refinement. They watch your social media pages fantasizing about the two of you together. Also something about the way this person dresses you either love or you just want to dress them yourself.

8th: At first they could've found it hard to completely give into this connection and avoid true intimacy. Serious commitment is important for them they aren't into flings, they do things with a purpose. They view the relationship from a practical standpoint and analyze how this will contribute to their lives and how much they are willing to give to make it work. When the bond is proven to be strong they want to share their resources. They can give too much though then build resentments about not feeling the energy is being reciprocated. A lot goes unsaid, trust issues and resentments are lurking in the shadows. On the stingier side pluto person doesn't want to share their success with house person or they want house person to jump through hoops for it. They love sharing information with each other. This couple can be a mystery to others. They dont share much about their relationship preferring to keep things private. They notice the friends their partner has that dont have their best interest at heart. Self esteem and codependency issues could show face. The arguments they have are intense. Triggering unspoken insecurities in each other. This relationship builds the confidence of each person. Your a safe space for each other without judgement. On the flip side its important to focus on your own identity and not get to caught up in what your partner thinks. Change because thats what you want to do. Learning to relax and go with flow will do this couple well. Except that everything cant be planned and controlled. This placement creates a solid foundation for a long lasting relationship.

9th: These two share a lot of experiences together. They've been a lot of places together, been seen in a lot of rooms together, everyone knows that these two are together. People cant take their eyes of these two wanting to be in their business. This placement really makes me think of youtube couples.Transforming each other preparing for the spotlight. They really boost each others popularity. They love to be seen out together but that makes sense because they get alot of attention. They share a lot of similar interest and love to combine ideas. An example would be two musicians making songs together. Wounds of hyper independence makes being available and being of service something that really brings them closer together. Traveling together is really looked forward to. Traveling also doesn't have to be physical, a lot of mental shifts happen in this partnership. You really get to witness the growth in each other. In the lower natures the ego wars are strong here. Both people don't wanna feel like their submitting to the will of the other. They make each other chase, a lot. Outside influences cause a lot of friction in this relationship. Other people could know when their at odds with each other. Both like to go back and talk to friends or the internet about whats going on. The arguments are PETTYYYYY. They affect each others self esteem alot.

10th: Proud of each others public image, the work ethic and goals align. These two make a good team they share alot of similar ideas so they naturally go towards the same direction. Creating a business together could be a good idea. They look very aesthetically pleasing together and both know this, using it to their advantage whenever they can. This connection could be stop and go or have taken a while to really get off the ground. It seems there was always something else taking attention away from growing the spark. The more dominant energy could subtly restrict how much the other person expresses themselves. Power struggles and feelings of having to fight to have your opinion heard may present but thats the perfect time for them to assert their own beliefs. Which will always be respected in any healthy relationship. Putting on a brave face when things might not be so well is something that attention might need to be brought too. You cant have support if your not honest about your needs. The relationship could be different behind closed doors than what they present to the public. An example is seeming serious in public and maybe not that affectionate but much more goofy and relaxed at home. When traveling together may be a time frustrations really appear. One person could me more relaxed with how they do things and the other could prefer to have a schedule and routine in place. They could also want to do the same things but at different times. They feel a responsibility over each other, they stand up for each other.

11th: There is a lot of love to go around. Friendships, familial relationships and business relationships are equally as important as intimate relationships to this pair. This is a very busy couple that has hands in many points they both have hobbies or responsibilities that take up a lot their time. Double dates would be really fun for them. Doing physical activity together really grows this bond as well. Beware of how much money your spending when together. Yall like to have fun first and consider cost second. Trying new things together is something that really brings this couple closer. They love surprises and spontaneous dates. Both people are very good at vetting out potential partners their very particular about who they show interest in. The fact that you two came together you take the union serious and both require the stability of a solid foundation. This started as a friendship then grown to become more serious. You didnt expect to meet this person when you did. Meeting through other people, spontaneously or online. The friend groups of these two are different they can also come from different cultures or have different upbringings. In the lower natures someone could want to much freedom, they dont want to put ''tittles'' on the relationship. Favoring partying and keeping the vibe light and friendly. Pluto person could try to use house person as a status upgrade. Like the gateway to other groups of people. Im sure they would just call that networking though lol. This relationship can lack a long term vision. One or both people can feel like they aren't worthy of a ''normal'' functioning relationship. Preferring to keep things spontaneous when their actually just running from fear of the unknown.

12th: This couple manifest success together easily, people are intrigued by them. They give power couple vibes. Something is very alluring that brings alot of attention the magnetism has plutoian qualities. Others could think they'd like to have a relationship like this one. Thats from the outside though. Both people know how to keep private matters private. I think of public figures that want to uphold a certain image. These two idolize or romanticize each other, ignoring the obvious red flags. They can become very codependent on each other for emotional fulfillment. If their not on good terms it messes the whole day up. Breaking up to make up. Loving the passion that comes with it. Balancing work and the relationship may be something that has to be worked out. The arguments are very intense and passionate. There personalities start to merge into one, they start really sound, look and act alike. They give so selflessly to one another. They have dedication and patience to get through the challenging times. Their spirituality is developed through their love for one another. Experiencing things they haven't in any other relationship. Truly changed for the better. They understand each other like no one else ever has. They've both experienced something that was very specific and that bonded them. Its the 12th house so you know i have to mention addictions. Yes, this could be actual addiction to a substance but it can be an addiction over the career, belief system or relationship. An area in this persons life gets way more attention than the others. The belief system of these two can be different or started different.

Songs: i put a spell on you- Alice smith, haunted- Beyonce, sycamore tree- Kali uchis, boomerang- Yebba, something about us- Daft punk

[fishnapple]

Healing yourself & Helping others

We often talked about the wounds of Chiron in Natal chart, the pains associated with Chiron placements, but I think exactly because of those wounds that the native can obtain a deep understanding of the matters related to those wounds, and can sympathise with other people who experience the same kind of pain, understanding creates kindness.

Where Chiron is in your chart will always be a sensitive spot. Exactly because it's such a sensitive spot that we pour so much effort into it, always be mindful of it, we might excel at it, become a master, but might never feel good enough.

Through healing the other person, we, in turn, would also be healed, it's a kind of projection. There's often an element of unfulfilled dreams, dreams were thwarted or the feeling that the reward isn't worth the effort. In extreme case, this can manifest as projecting our failed wishes and dreams on other people and burdening them with the responsibility to make them come true. On a lighter note, we would want to see the other person success in our stead, to see that someone finally made it. And here is where our Chiron can actually help people, making us a great counsellor, a teacher or a cheer leader in that matter. We help people in the matters related to the sign/the house Chiron is in, the aspects Chiron makes to other planets. In turn, we are known to people by our Chiron. Yes, Chiron can be a fame indicator, not by shining on its own, but by helping others shine.

What about ourselves? will we forever have to endure that pain of Chiron? We might actually find peace and healing through the positive manifestation of the sign/the house opposite of Chiron. The two opposite ends of an axis always provide answer to each other.

So don't associate Chiron with just wound and pain, associate it with the gift you can give to the world and in turn, the reward you can receive through the act of giving.

The way Chiron in each sign/ house and aspect finds healing and helping others:

Chiron in Aries/ in 1st house/ aspecting Mars

The wound: being judged as too direct and aggressive, having trouble in asserting yourself and putting yourself first, wound about your appearance & sexuality, self-confidence issue, fear of accidents, physical pain

How you heal yourself: be considerate of others when asserting yourself, be direct in a tactful way, be in the company of people that allows you to be yourself without judgement, find an aesthetic that matches you and makes you comfortable, allow yourself to explore your sexuality and desires without judgement, practice prudence

How you help others: help others stand up for themselves, give people courage to take the initiative, boost people's confidence, make others feel protected, be a role model, spread body positivity, normalise "defects" in appearance, stand against bullies

Chiron in Taurus/ in 2nd house/ aspecting Venus

The wound: finding security and stability, being objectified, feeling lack, self-loathing, placing values on external validation, finding independence, over indulgence

How you heal yourself: focus on your inner life to find true stability within, financial independence, let go of unhealthy attachments, listen to gut feeling and body's response to everything, take good care of your body and health

How you help others: generous with your resources, understand the pain of "lack", fundraiser, be the rock for other people, have a stabilising effect on people, help people beautifying themselves, , promote mindfulness in spending and healthy consumption

Chiron in Gemini/ in 3rd house/ aspecting Mercury

The wound: voicing your thoughts, being unheard, not feeling intelligent enough, being too talkative or too quiet, mental/ physical restriction, being neglected, favouritism, being misunderstood

How you heal yourself: be honest & objective, explore diverse subjects, learn constantly, share your knowledge with others, travel frequently, widen your perspective, see life in good humour

How you help others: help people find their voice, spread awareness about mental illness, create a safe space for others to express their ideas, understand different viewpoints in a conversation, be the voice of people, soothing voice, humour, a good listener and a story teller

Chiron in Cancer/ in 4th house/ aspecting Moon

The wound: birth trauma, abandonment, being neglected, lacking care and nurture, feeling unsafe in your own home, unstable family environment, repression, being ridiculed for your emotions, mother wound & complicated relationship with motherhood

How you heal yourself: build your own family, emotional stoicism, assume responsibility for your own emotional and physical well-being, give yourself the utmost respect, find peace and safety in structure & order, let the desire to have children come naturally along with your maturity, look for stability and resilience in a life partner

How you help others: provide shelter and protection, create/support programs for children, donate to causes, charity, raise awareness about vulnerabilities, make others feel safe to express their emotions, "sensitivity is not a weakness", be present for other people

Chiron in Leo/ in 5th house/ aspecting Sun

The wound: struggle with feeling creative enough, discouragement of expressing individuality, being yourself is painful, self- confidence issue, feeling not appreciated (especially in childhood), invisibility, having trouble acting carefree and playful, father wound & complicated relationship with fatherhood, feeling unlucky in love, physical pain

How you heal yourself: find your own community that will welcome you, surround yourself with children, being unapologetic in expressing yourself, revel in weirdness & uniqueness, being your own audience and your own judge, detach yourself from your own creations

How you help others: promote creative activities in everyday life, nurture other people's creativity, give space to people to express themselves without shame or guilt, acceptance of other people's individuality, humble, caretaker

Chiron in Virgo/ in 6th house/ aspecting Mercury

The wound: not feeling good enough, feeling like you have to constantly perform well, perfectionism, being nitpicked, judgmental, being denied consistency and stable routine, exploitation, mental & physical health issue, overworked, feeling hard to relax

How you heal yourself: take good care of your emotional and spiritual health, good sleep, incorporate quiet moments into your routine, be kind to yourself and tolerate your mistakes, treat yourself with compassion like how you treat a vulnerable person, have patience

How you help others: tolerance towards mistakes, encourage people to notice small beauty in life, good at giving detailed and practical advice, help others build a more efficient routine and work process, excellent organiser, spread awareness about the struggle of illnesses, advocate for green and healthy lifestyle

Chiron in Libra/ in 7th house/ aspecting Venus

The wound: being indecisive, having to choose between asserting yourself vs keeping the peace, feeling unlucky in love and partnership, being betrayed, witnessing bad examples of partnership, being judged as superficial, not feeling beautiful and lovable enough

How you heal yourself: be direct and honest with your desires, practice interdependence in relationships, take good care of yourself first before attempting to take care of others, be bold in your style, setting boundaries

How you help others: be a mediator, independent, fair to people, polite, know when to compromise, try to make people comfortable, change beauty standards, relationship counsellor, make a team work, help people work together, take commitment seriously, fight for equality

Chiron in Scorpio/ in 8th house/ aspecting Pluto

The wound: witnessing deaths early on, fear of mortality, boundaries violation, experiencing paranormal activities that left scars and fears on your psyche, having the wrong kind of people attracted to you, sexuality exploration is considered taboo and restricted, having things taken away from you, having your secrets exposed, lack of privacy, trust issue

How you heal yourself: setting boundaries, emotional stoicism, surround yourself with stable and orderly environment/ people, minimalism, ground yourself/ connect with nature, practise your own brand of spirituality, listen to your body's response , explore your sexuality in your own safe place and by your own pace

How you help others: fierce protector, keep people's secrets, counsellor, fight against and spread awareness about abuse, allow space for others to explore their own psyche and sexuality

Chiron in Sagittarius/ in 9th house/ aspecting Jupiter

The wound: having your freedom restricted, further education is denied, feeling like a stranger in your own family, being chastised for being too honest/ too blunt, constant moving, being taught distorted views about the world, having problems with spirituality and religions, having your faith challenged, constantly being shot down, lacking boundaries and guidance

How you heal yourself: listen to different viewpoints, strive for diversity in your pursuit of knowledge, know when to get up and get out of situations, question various schools of thought before committing to one, take a light-hearted approach in communication

How you help others: setting an example for being truthful, support and advocate for the right to education, hype people up, make people have faith again, humour, stay open-minded and help people see a different perspective, make people feel accepted, guiding and teaching

Chiron in Capricorn/ in 10th house/ aspecting Saturn

The wound: being demanded perfection constantly, having to perform, stifle yourself to keep an 'image', being attacked/ criticised/ scruntinised openly, feeling that you have to do more than others to be recognised, having your goals and plans thwarted, being restricted in any form, father wound, trouble with authority

How you heal yourself: allow yourself to express vulnerability and emotions in front of others, keep your goals and ambitions close to your heart/ avoid discussing them too openly, act quietly, be kind to yourself when you're disappointed, allow yourself alone time/ away from public's eyes, place importance on emotional fulfillment when considering a life partner

How you help others: a pillar of strength that people can lean on, be exemplary, help others find authority in themselves, support and help others achieving success, build people up, give structure, show the importance of mastery

Chiron in Aquarius/ in 11th house/ aspecting Uranus

The wound: being considered weird/different, struggle with a sense of belonging, loneliness, being misunderstood, feeling excluded, bully, trouble building a long lasting friendship, sudden upheavals, feeling like you never get what you wish for, feeling like you are living a wayward life

How you heal yourself: have fun with yourself, find your own niche and focus on it, spend time for hobbies, express your individuality more but in a warm and nonserious manner, bond with people who have the same interests and hobbies, play with children

How you help others: make others feel welcomed in a group, bring excitement, acceptance of people's many quirks and unique self, fight against bully, encourage others to follow their dreams, strive to do good, support humanitarian causes

Chiron in Pisces/ in 12th house/ aspecting Neptune

The wound: experiencing losses early in life, being lost, lacking boundaries, boundaries violation, nightmares, solitude, struggle in feeling real, addictions, disillusionment, being betrayed and back stabbed, lacking a firm structure and guidance

How you heal yourself: practise meditation daily, setting up routines to follow (especially sleep routine), consider swimming, take good care of your physical health, muse about small beauties in everyday life, practise discrimination when you're asked for help or to do something, avoid sharing about yourself too much

How you help others: counsellor, provide understanding ears, charity, support humanitarian causes, help people find peace, soothing, empathise with people's suffering, provide spiritual guidance, create art that can speak directly to people's souls

About me | Masterpost

[maryrouille]

Toxic romanticization of studying

In a word of introduction, my profile partly shows that studying and exploring is wonderful. But as a person involved in science*, I would like to show healthy and true patterns of this beautiful adventure in acquiring knowledge.

The inspiration for writing this post this time was not the phenomenon from Tumblr (although you can also observe it here), but from Pinterest. There you can come across cycles composed of quotes and photos whose aim is to motivate young girls to learn, succeed and get good grades. These images often also show examples of characters from movies, TV series or real life that you can aspire to be like. Overall, I have to agree that it really works! But I would like to draw attention to certain elements that need to be verified.

1. You shouldn't get up at 5am

First of all, the correct amount of sleep is one of the most important factors affecting the proper and effective functioning of our brain. During sleep, nerve cells regenerate, organize information acquired during the day and consolidate memory traces, which is directly related to learning. Lack of sleep increases impulsivity, deepens negative thinking and slows down the body's reaction time!

2. You can be a genius without good grades

Of course, good grades are a pleasant confirmation of our knowledge and praise for hard work. However, sometimes it is worth considering whether the structure of exams themselves, especially those with closed questions, affects the results. We often study for one specific exam, the knowledge of which may be very… limited and sometimes not useful, so it is worth prioritizing the topics that we study hard.

3. It's not cool to think you're better than others

We are different and have different priorities in life. It is also worth considering how many people escape from the rat race and start a slow, stress-free life. So we have to agree that judging people based on grades or responses under stress (sic!) is not cool.

The good thing about romanticizing studying

As I have already said, these types of collages are really motivating. So let's talk about what's great about them and what's worth highlighting and saving for later.

1. Knowledge is beautiful, but your outfit and surroundings can also be

We know that we should never judge a book by its cover, but… the issue of social perception painfully confirms that we do and will continue to do so because this is how our brains work. And isn't it nice when someone looks at us and thinks this girl is so classy?

Moreover, a nice outfit that makes us feel good gives us a lot of self-confidence. There are also many studies confirming the positive impact on motivation and concentration of a neat and aesthetic workplace.

2. Not just cramming, but also discovering

Broadening your horizons is easier with passion and real commitment. And to achieve this, the topics must really interest us. Not everyone has yet found something that they are extremely passionate about in science, so that is why you have to dig deeper and discover different areas.

3. Don't be afraid to use your knowledge in practice

Schools and universities, unfortunately, have their own rules and they do not always allow you to show your 100% potential. Thus, share your knowledge with others externally, write essays, blog and social media. This form of activity also makes you learn things faster and easier. In addition, contacts with others will expand your knowledge.

Therefore, I must say that it is worth choosing your inspirations carefully. Nothing helps you enjoy studying better than a clear head and lack of prejudices.

*This post was inspired by my own experience with studying. If anyone is interested, I think I can share my mistakes that did not help me in an academic adventure :)

[asidian]

Alright. It is time. Buckle up.

Why you should be watching Dead Boy Detectives: the targeted-specifically-at my-readers edition.

Meet the leads, our two ghost boys:

Edwin Payne: Fussy, repressed intellectual type from the Edwardian era. Exceedingly gay for his partner and best friend. Tortured in hell for seventy years on a technicality because he was ritually sacrificed as a prank gone wrong. Endearingly awful at people and dealing with emotions or his own wants.

Charles Rowland: Impulsive, people-pleasing wildcard from the 80s. Heart eyes 24/7 at his best friend but has zero self-awareness. Badly abused by his asshole of a father. Beaten to death because he saved a kid from bullies. Endearingly awful at sorting his own emotions or talking about his problems.

Some highlights:

/slaps hood you can fit so much trauma in these two

Both leads get sobbing breakdowns that happen on screen. The actors are incredible at crying

Both leads get much-needed hugs

The absolute devotion between the two of them. The shared history that lives in their dialogue and how they work together like people who have been each other's Most Important Person for literal decades

I mean, I'm talking in-canon Orpheus and Eurydice reference level of devotion here

The protective way Charles puts himself physically between Edwin and damn near every threat in the show

They're just fun together. Their interactions and banter and how they work as a team is a delight

Their shared plot arc literally involves them learning to talk to each other and communicate more so that they can be there for one another about their respective issues

The symbolism. God. They are metaphorically and literally one another's light in the darkness

But what about stuff that isn't the main duo? Just wait, there's more:

This show is unabashedly, unapologetically queer. It's there in the text and the subtext. The whole show lives and breathes it

So many good, complex, well-written female characters. The Bechdel test gets blown straight out of the water in episode one and they never look back. Headstrong amnesiac psychic learning to be a better person! Quirky meta commentary matchmaker! Cynical lesbian butcher! Delightfully sadistic witch! They are all amazing.

[audience voice] But I'm here for the hurt/comfort. How can I whump ghosts? Worry not, my friends. Canon has you covered. Not only are there ways, there are ways that happen on-screen. The hurt/comfort and rescue are also on-screen. Yes, it is amazing

Absolute chaos, really cool supernatural cases and creatures, a surprising amount of humor, charming writing, and a cast that absolutely nails it on the acting and chemistry

There is an extremely suggestive trickster type who is also the king of cats. He's a cat in human form. He hits on Edwin nonstop. Charles gets blisteringly jealous

All of the leads have well-thought-through, fully developed, emotional character arcs. They're all messy and flawed and sometimes lash out in their pain, but at turns can be incredibly supportive and kind and loyal

A character who is a crow who is also a boy, who is tortured by his witch/creator and also is crushing hard on one of the leads

There are so many incredible details in the setting, costume choices, prop decisions, etc. that you only catch after you know what it's laying the groundwork for. The level of care that went into this show is phenomenal

It's only eight episodes. The time investment barrier to entry could not possibly be lower

Anyway, tl;dr, if any of this sounds appealing to you, you should give this show a watch.

Dead Boy Detectives is well worth your time. It's easily my favorite show in years.