#i forgot focus. my focus is good sometimes and sometimes my brain is moving too fast and i cant focus at all. its static

[planet-dusk]

i sent this skz x 9th member!reader to another creator but forgot who it was so i’m sending it here too i guess. enjoy

i féel like the boys would def be little pervs towards their girl member. like “cuddling” her in the car on the way to places, having her sit in their lap during lives and stuff, constantly watching her boobs in tank tops during practice, etc something tells me chan or minho would be the biggest pervs out of the older boys but they know how to be subtle with it. meanwhile jisung and maybe jeongin are the the young ones who go absolutely crazy over anything. like her boobs could be out a little bc her tops are flimsy so they grab a handful and are lowkey fondling her but using the excuse that it’s helping keep her boobs in her bra or something. she’d def be very clueless but not entirely. like she knows that bc she’s a girl and they’re all guys, they have urges too. walking around the house in short and tight clothes, asking sexual questions, singing and dancing to sexy songs, etc they’d probably have a corruption kink too because of her “innocent but not really” aura. she’s innocent in the way that she’s just clueless when anyone so much as hits on her, likes her, try’s to make a move, etc

idk this was a while ago so maybe it’s just ramblings from my brain.

🏷️ perversion, noncon somno for jisung's part, corruption, fingering, oral (f + m), masturbation, unprotected sex, mc is called baby, kitten, doll, pretty, toy, slut

as the oldest and the leader of the group chan should know better. but you're so cute when you wake up early and your eyes are still puffy with sleep. he can't help but let his gaze linger on your bare legs, picturing his face between your thighs. sometimes when you join him on channie's room he'll run his teasing fingers over your clothed slit, enjoying the way you squirm and hide your hot face in your hands, pretending you're camera shy.

"keep still, baby. you know how much the fans love it when you look all cute and flustered."

minho is always helpful, offering you private dance lessons to hone your skills. he can be strict with the other members but he's noticed how embarrassed you get when he praises you. "you're doing so well, kitten," he whispers into your ear while he adjusts your position. you avert your eyes and try to focus on the way your body moves. he's smirking at you through the mirror, his hands skimming your ass more than necessary. when you're all warmed up and sweaty he bends you over and grinds his hard cock against your clothed pussy. "let's stretch some more."

"i know you can do it," changbin encourages when your voice cracks again. he turns off his laptop and enters the recording booth. "hey, don't cry," he wipes your tears away with his thumbs and you sniffle. you're fucking up your lines. badly.

"do you trust me?" he asks and you nod, letting him spread your legs. with a puzzled face you watch him crouch down and nuzzle the inside of your thigh. "you just need to relax, baby... you're straining too much when you get anxious. let me help you."

hyunjin is your roommate. he's a calm and quiet guy so you don't mind having him around. but on some nights you wake up to muffled gasps and groans coming from his side of the room. if you didn't know any better you'd have sworn some of his moans sound like your name. afraid to let him know you're awake you stay quiet and stare at the ceiling. your own hand slips into your pyjama pants to rub quick circles on your swollen clit, desperate to cum in time with him.

"ssh, it's me," jisung shushes you with a hand clasped over your mouth. you blink at him groggily, feeling two of his fingers slipping in and out of your wet hole with ease. he must've been playing with you for a while. "hyunjin's taking a shower and told me to wake you up." he snuggles against your back and you gasp into his palm when he replaces his fingers with his thick cock. "be a good doll for me now, pretty. we don't have much time before he comes back."

felix is the first to turn your relationship with them into something more than strictly collegial. "we're not colleagues, or friends, or family," he tugs you onto his lap and purrs into your ear, "we're something more." his fingers reach into your shorts and press against your clothed slit, making your head spin. "feel how soaked these panties are for me, doll? you know i'm telling the truth. what we've got is something special."

seungmin is your vocal training partner. when you stay late in the studio to practice he stays with you. his unconventional training methods are your little secret; he'd told you the others can't know a thing because they would get jealous, so you do as told. seungmin makes you feel special. you know he'd do everything for his favorite member.

"sluts like you need to have their throats trained," he groans and thrusts his cock deeper. "how else are you ever going to hit those notes?"

jeongin can never keep his hands off you when you're getting dressed for your stages. he gropes at your tits and tugs on your clothes. "these skirts keep getting shorter," he shakes his head and frowns. "everyone in the audience will be able to see your safety shorts. but you know you belong to us, don't you?" he grins and you squeal when his fingers slip between your thighs and locate your clit with ease. the barest hint of pressure against the fabric has you panting, proving his point. "no matter how many people cheer for you, you're our toy."

[linnienin]

⁓⁕🍷 🌸 V e n u s ⁕ a n d ⁕ h o w ⁕ y o u ⁕ c h i l l 🌸 🍷⁕⁓

Disclaimer: Take what resonates. I'm not a professional astrologer, i just am an avid researcher and i use my personal experience when writing my posts (Also, pls, don't copy my work, i spend lot of time on it, thanks)

Ahhh Venus, the planet of love. We use it to talk about our relationships and misadventures in our love life. But it also is the planet of feminine energy, enjoyment, relaxation and indulgence. How do you chill using your Venusian energy? Let's find out looking at your Venus's sign and degree

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⁕ Aries / 1-13-25 degrees : *aggresively flying on the couch* play TV, *loud setting on*, watch the tv for 1 minute, gets bored, *roll off the couch*, goes to the kitchen, sees people, start a little chase (Jason Momoa meme entered the caption) 👀👐. After annoying people for a bit, do a little workout, tries to lift a 700 kg cause they *confident*, fail, they still confident, opt for the 0.5 kg, now they happy 😊💪. Dance lover. Enjoy drinking energy drinks. Not really a sipp-er, more of a chugg-er lmao. Carbs are their heaven, they cannot have enough (cause they move a lot, they need the energyy). When laying on the sofa need to put their head on someone else's shoulder or legs or head to feel safe and receive the physical contact they really crave. Enjoy taking short cold showers. Like playing chess (they're good at strategizing and know when to attack and they're bold about it). Cut their hair as a relaxing activity (until they have no hair left to cut lol), likes dyeing them too, preferabily with bolder colours.

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⁕ Taurus / 2-14-26 degrees: The yawn-er. They're MASTER at chilling. They chill doing everything, i'm not kidding, are they at home, are they at work? They be chilling allll the time. Lovers of the sofa, bed, and others soft big surfaces. Chill by taking their time doing everything, they be starting cooking at 9 a.m. to serve a meal at 1 p.m. ✨Sloth with grace✨. Quality over quantity. Enjoy passing time doing nothing...literally. They be like fixating on a thing and looking at it for an hour straight. Mad control of their focus. Meditating without realizing It. Probably sip chamomile. They like to think time doesn't exist, they got all the time in the world (until they wake up one day, look into the mirror and realize they forgot to shave their mustache for all this time). Hella romantic, enjoy picking up flowers, endless walks in nature, veery slowly, they be stopping every 2x3 to admire a little bug passing by.

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⁕ Gemini / 3-15-27 degrees: Tea time with their personalities. Lmao, no but they literally chill by checking in with their thoughts and their ideas. Loves listening to podcasts and documentaries. Multitasking hobbies. Yup, i have no clue how they even relax by doing 1738283 things at a time but it's a way to shut down their thoughts for a while. Yeah, i know, i just told you they chill by thinking too, but sometimes it becomes too much and they have to switch the brain off. Relax by painting their nails. Get experimental with makeup. Write fanfics but leave them unfinished 👀. Admire their pretty handwriting. Enjoy reading and talking about gossip a looot, too much hehe. Like to play games that require a broad knowledge on everything (ex Trivia). Thinking about doing stuff but actually not doing it lmfao, they just love to think about soo many ideas, that is a way to relax, but then they don't even write them down and poof, they're gone and they can't remember them and they get mad about it :(

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⁕ Cancer / 4-16-28 degrees : Cuddling with their pillow 24/7 (cause deep down they feel alone... 🥺). Play animal crossing. Imagine their future family, even tho they're actually stuck in the past lol. Most likely to binge watch series for a whole day and get emotional about it because they get too attached to the characters. If they could they'd never leave the house...ever lmao, total homebodies. Relaxing by spending time alone or with very closed ones, friends/family. Probably likes to collect plushies, funko pops, or mini cute figures of their favourite fictional characters ✨. Cooking and baking can be a relaxing activity to them, especially if they do it for their family or their guests. Have 'grandma's hobbies'... knitting/crocheting for example lol. Enjoy so much making photo albums, and even more looking at them from time to time. Love going to the sea, early mornings walking barefoot on the sand and admiring the immense ocean and the sun rising, they're fans of little details and very romantic/sweet scenarios. They enjoy being helpful to others, so they'll probably ask people if they can do something for them (especially if they see people struggling doing something, they'll gladly volounteer to offer their help).

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⁕ Leo / 5-17-29 degrees: Stars wannabe. Intensely crying in front of the mirror portraying a desperate girl that has been cheated on, then recompose themselves and admire how good they just were pffft. Put on glasses even at home to feel extra, hit the door while walking cause they can't see a thing, get on the floor purposely, decides to play the blind character, gets up, * sudden dramatic enhancement of the other senses*. Dancing with the starssss. No seriosuly, they should apply, but as the professional dancer cause they so good! (and well they're not stars.... yet 👀). Like the other 2 fire venuses they enjoy moving their body so workouts are very appreciated, but leos especially loove hiit workouts, go build that cooore. Lovers of loong passionate and romantic dramas, they wanna feel all the emotions and they stay loyal to a specific series so they wish it could go on forevahh (hello..."Beautiful" lmao). ✨ Randomly transform their home in a runway show. Start walking like a model to feel themselves ✨ List all the things they can do and skills they acquired to feel good about themselves, then they list all the things they wanna work towards to use that self esteem boost to enhance their motivation and work towards their future goals.

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⁕ Virgo / 6-18 degrees : Killing the chilling. No seriosuly, these people seem like they can't 100% chill properly, and some of them may take 'something' to feel completely detached and lost from reality for a bit... 👀 They chill by making plans. Always trying to find things to do and learn to always get better. Working on themselves is their favourite project. Scanning the room in bed instead of chilling, seeing if there's something they need to adjust or clean. Overthinking the heck out of their lives...wait weren't you supposed to chill? Nevermind 🙈. Roasting others...in their minds hehe, they won't let others see how much they enjoy analizing their mistakes. 'Lemme give you advice on this thing' , others: uhm... ok but chilllll. And you ask Virgo venuses whyy they continue to give advices even when people don't listen to them. Well... saying 'I told you' is more satifying than hearing 'i don't care' 😘 (underlying validation issues). Well...i mean, they could chill while crafting, i give you this, it's probably the only time where they get near the definition of chilling...but hey hold on, cause soon enough they gonna find out details about how they're not perfect at what they do so kill the chill again and let the procrastination beginnn (wait... is procrastination's Virgo's way of chilling?)

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⁕ Libra / 7-19 degrees: They wanna experience the finest things in life. They go to that fancy restaurant, get that fancy dress, buy those fancy flowers... they wanna feel cuddled by life and specifically... lifestyle. They need to feel they value by surroundings themselves with valuable things. That's why they chill by going shopping or talking to new people, because where they see value in, they get value from. It's all about feeling good about themselves. Have a sweet tooth (but enjoy eating overall, it's like they enjoy the experience of taste, they're not really picky ultimately). Can splurge on personal care, lots of tools for facials or expensive skincare (cause after eating sugar they need to mantain the perfect skin lol). They work a lot on the mantainance of the self. That's why they have a good eye for fashion and aesthetics, because they have been researching and analizing everything that's out there to understand what's better for them, but they still haven't found out their true style due to their indecisive nature 😂. Plus let's admit it, they like to change often and renew themselves to maintain that 'interesting persona' 👀

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⁕ Scorpio / 8-20 degrees : Drowning their nose in personality tests. Seriously, when these people wanna chill, all they got on their mind is how to understand that mind even more. They're detectives of their own psyche. Lovers of shadow work. Let all those intense questions unfold! Obsessive researchers. They find a topic they like, they delve deep into it until they've found enough to feel satisfied and jump on another theme to obsess themselves over. Probably watching a lot of documentaries on criminals and unresolved cases trying to find the final answer themselves. Masters at playing Cluedo. Read everybodies's minds in every single setting, it makes them relaxed by feeling in control of the room's energies, and yeah... even during lunch between family members lmao. Need plenty of alone time. They're secretly training to become wizards/witches 👀. Probably like to sip pomegranate juice or any other juicy and thick flavoured drink. Sometimes they forget to even eat because of how invested theyre in their researches lol. I know you're already attractive as hell, but y'all take care of your bodyyy

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⁕ Sagittarius / 9-21 degrees : The boy/girl scout. Those people HAVE to move, they can't stay still or they'll start to stress out. They love a good trip somewhere new, visiting places abroad, taking that bus/train and not knowing where it'll take them (they get lost easily lmfao but they don't mind it, it's part of the thrilling experience). Documentaries lovers: can't go out? Let them wander with their minds. Like to change activities often as they get bored quickly. Enjoy trying to eat different types of food from different cultures. They like to go shopping a lot, to have little souvenirs of all the places they've been to (can tend to overspend depending on other placements in the chart). The one who find excitement in daring to do what everyone else don't want to do. Can love to pertake in volounteering activities, especially if they require them to sail to another country, they enjoy being helpful to other people in need (if underdeveloped can have hero complex). Probably enjoy playing on the Wii in competitive games, they're always up for a competition, even for the slightest thing, like "who can finish up this bottle of water first?? Ready? Start!" (they can announce little challenges like this veeery randomly and everyone will follow their lead, it's crazy haha)

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⁕ Capricorn / 10-22 degrees : Counting their money. Sorting their bills. Sooo relaxing right, especially when the money in your bank account keep groowingg 👀 (they probably watch cash envelope stuffing videos + budgeting on YT). Relax by doing the same routine every day, they can do it without even thinking, and that to them is relieving. They enjoy the adulting process, so actually...going to work can feel like chilling to them lol, they like to feel a sense of responsibility, it makes them feel motivated to always grow, and having a sense of order and stability, that's what makes them feel relaxed and safe. Constantly reading self-help books. Probably sipping their wine while chilling or an expensive drink or a concentrated drink (blueberry juice peraphs). They like high quality items, so they usually shop designer clothes/accessories, they love those labels lol. They love the sofa, don't ask me why lol, most people love the bed, capricorn venuses love the sofa, periodt (can it be because the space is restricted and Cap being ruled by Saturn, planet of restrictions... well, could be).

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⁕ Aquarius / 11-23 degrees : The videogamer. Have way too many hobbies that have nothing in common. Wanna splurge on those headphones too? You already have the bunny ears ones, the cat ears ones, the led ones, guyzzz you have a whole collection of them lmao. Are probably into reading about the unknown mysteries of the universe. Conspiracy theories lovers (they just love when they can confuse others people's minds with all their absurdities). The ones who find excitement in daring to do what everyone else don't want to do. Collectors of technology stuff, yup, they still have the gameboyy 🥺. Unpredictable af but they enjoy being this way so people can always question them and think of them as interesting. Introverted people that need to recharge by being alone. Probably Webtoons and manga lovers. Enjoy pertaking in protest marches, feeling part of the crowd (sense of belonging) and feeling they can contribute to a greater cause. They feel the need to do something crazy once in a while, so if you see them bunjee jumping randomly, or trying others 'dangerous' activities don't be surprised (pls, be careful, and don't try anything illegal....understood?👀...pfft, i already know you're gonna roll your eyes, and think, here we go, another sheep that is trying to tell me what to do lol)

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⁕ Pisces / 12-24 degrees : Do you think thinking about "what ifs" is relaxing?? Y'allll pleaseee, i know the feeling is good when you imagine your perfect reality...but...you literally take it as a hobby and do it way too much...to your own detriment 😭. They looove watching romance movies and dramas, it's their bread and butter (to give food to those daydreams right?🙃). Play music ALL day and get lost in their world, and then suddenly it's time to go to bed and they realize they lost another day to daydreaming, now they got to the nightdreaming phase of the day lol 😂😭. Loves taking baths, the contact with water feels truly healing to them, they could stay in the water 24/7. Can be extremely good at painting or drawing, or singing (and other artistic activities too), and relax by doing these activities. Just asking, but are y'all ok with the low blood pressure?😢(also curious, do you tend to have low blood pressure?). Can relax but lose themselves watching the phone,especially social medias. Until they realize they're literally watching and living an illusion, they think they live by watching everyone else's lives and connect with them through the screen, but they're not living their own life by going out there, and experiencing the world as main characters, not just extras of their own lives.

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Congrats! You've reached the end! ✨

Hope you enjoyed this post, always rememer that we are not just one placement, so if you didn't resonate, that's ok, i'd love to know your feedback in both cases (if you did or did not resonate), it is always very appreciated 🥰

Wish you a wonderful day! 🍷 Yours, Linnie 🌸

[jihyocentric]

I hope this is okay I feel like my writer brain can't do good prompts cause I might go into too much detail but imma try ngjgjgjh

Lawyers mihyo who're maybe working on a case together? Mina has this habit of going full hot girl sharon to mess with Hyo at random ass moment cause they're close enough that she doesn't feel as shy most of the times and she doesn't know that Jihyo is constantly one wrong (right) move from begging to be ruined. Ione day Mina does something that has Jihyo forgetting all her professionalism and downright pleading to get fucked. This makes Mina realise she loves making Jihyo beg which leads to maybe some edging and some teary Jihyo and some soft aftercare? Also since they're lawyers maybe all this happens somewhere at the law firm before an important briefing they're supposed to have with a client?

hi bestie! i could've done something much better with your request but ykw i was dying to post jihyo bottoming again... she was made for this... and i miss her

cw: mina has stiletto nails. and she still tops. power move. good for her. not so good for jihyo.

mina knows what she’s doing.

she knows exactly what she’s trying to achieve by the way she acts around her sweetest coworker, jihyo, being especially fueled with the reactions she gets.

that jihyo was adorable when pink was all over her face and she didn’t know where to look, mina knew. she was the reason for that, meticulously provoked that out of her, making her usually focused, serious coworker, shy and exceptionally flustered.

to mina’s surprise, when they were alone, their roles seemed to be reversed — jihyo, instead of being the cool extrovert she was most definitely proud to be, became no more than a timid mess, sometimes incapable of looking at mina in the eye when speaking to her.

the situation didn’t make their work any harder whatsoever, as they rarely worked on the same case along each other, with jihyo being a corporate lawyer and mina being inclined towards the criminal field. that time, they were working together due to one of jihyo’s clients, who happened to need assistance from mina’s field.

“miss myoui…” jihyo calls, using the honorific, as mina had never told her not to. every other coworker, except for the interns, called mina by her name — never ‘miss’. but something about having jihyo calling her ‘miss’ left mina too satisfied, unable to tell jihyo to drop the display of respect.

a small smile prods at her lips when jihyo calls her for the nth time, in a hesitant voice, unlike the way she spoke to others. with confidence, that is. when speaking to mina, jihyo often forgot that she wasn’t on a lower position than mina at the firm. if anything, it was mina who was supposed to treat her with such respect, as jihyo had been there for longer.

mina was supposed to be working. she didn’t tell jihyo she’d already looked though the files they were studying and found her ways to convince the judge that jihyo’s client was innocent — if he was, that didn’t matter. he could be if mina could prove that he was. mina had planned ahead, knowing she wouldn’t have time alone with jihyo again soon, deciding to make the best out of it.

and so, because mina already knew what to do and what to expect from the meeting they’d have with their client later that same day, instead of working, she observed jihyo — and distracted her when she felt like it. what starts with sitting next to jihyo with a leg over the other, intentionally exposing her thighs, escalates to suddenly praising jihyo at random times. (she does it for jihyo’s excellent work, and because jihyo looked pretty.)

mina takes her sweet time to make jihyo lose her focus entirely, having fun as jihyo slowly forgets how to use her words properly. jihyo doesn’t stutter, but she struggles to sound professional when miss myoui is touching her hair and telling her that it looked pretty when it was loose, that she should wear dresses more often, and everything she could possibly say to make jihyo red from her cheeks to the ears hidden under her hair.

jihyo doesn’t understand mina, the way she acts towards her. not at first, not on that occasion. mina has always been like that around her: charming, alluring. she was simply flirty by nature, and jihyo would never think mina was truly trying to flirt with her, but soon mina is massaging her shoulders, having the freedom to do so as they were alone in a conference room, and jihyo is no longer reading through the case’s files.

jihyo doesn’t know how or when mina gets there, behind her, with both hands on her shoulders, whispering questions about the case close to her ear, as if jihyo could possibly answer them. jihyo tries to — she does her best to muster up words to properly answer mina, frustrated when all that comes out from her mouth is a whimper and a stuttered ‘miss myoui’.

“no need to be this tense, jihyo. i’m sure our client will be fine. you’re the best after all,��� mina coos, pretending to not notice that what had gotten jihyo troubled wasn’t their case, but her hands pressing her shoulders and nails close to sinking into her bare arms.

“m-miss… please…” jihyo mutters, desperate, still trying to figure how did mina get so close. she feels like she’s embarrassing herself then, calling mina so respectfully, feeling almost like she wasn’t a fellow lawyer, but an intern instead — someone mina could easily boss around, having all the power to do so as a result of being in a higher position.

“so nervous, park.” mina laughs, the sultry sound reaching jihyo’s ear quickly due to how close mina was. she pulls away, turning jihyo’s chair around so that she could see her face, not surprised to find jihyo utterly flushed, but curious as she sees jihyo’s cheeks adorned with tears that she’d hardly noticed falling from her eyes. “are these perhaps because of me?”

jihyo shivers, flinching when mina’s manicured hands are suddenly on her knees, raising her dress up to her thighs, sharp nails purposefully leaving their mark on the lawyer’s smooth skin.

“m-miss!” jihyo lets out then, more tears following her words. though mina had already expected jihyo to be just like that — amusingly shy and submissive, she wasn’t entirely prepared to hear jihyo begging. shameful words slip out of jihyo next, while mina is still admiring jihyo’s pretty face, relishing in the way such a respectable, honored lawyer like jihyo became but a precious prey that she’d love to ruin with just the slightest teasing. “i-inside… please… please!”

jihyo whines softly, holding one of mina’s hands with both of hers, spreading her legs slightly apart, both offering herself and pleading for mina to take her.

mina knows jihyo is aware she could get hurt — the same hands jihyo was politely begging to have inside herself carried the stiletto nails that left her arms and thighs reddened from negligible pressure. still, jihyo held mina’s hand like a cat with it’s owner, not wanting to let go, looking as if she’d cry if mina didn’t do what she so desperately asked for.

“interesting,” mina coos, resisting the urge to wipe jihyo’s tears away, finding her even prettier with her face all wet, enjoying to make her embarrassed, finding jihyo the cutest when she was ashamed. “are you sure, miss park?” mina taunts, raising the dress even more, to the point she could see how wet jihyo was. 

jihyo nods quickly, guiding mina’s hand to her center. “i-i n-need this, miss!” she insists, whimpering when mina’s index finger gets hooked under her panties.

mina stretches it far enough she can see jihyo’s pussy, licking her lips at the thought of having her face between jihyo’s thighs, forcing her to take more than she’d ever be able to handle. though she’d love to ruin jihyo right there and then, amazed by how easy that would really be, they didn’t have a lot more time to spend alone.

“so you like it risky, park?” mina laughs softly. “not that i’m opposed to hurting you,” she lets her fingers sink inside the soaked panties, teasing jihyo’s clit with the tip of her fingers, careful not to harm jihyo. “because you’d love that. i just don’t think you really want these inside of you.”

“but i want them! your fingers,” jihyo mumbles, pouting as she does so, moaning when mina applies more pressure over her clit, circling the sensitive nub slowly. “…inside me. want them inside.”

jihyo would cry harder if mina truly said no, mina realizes, amused to get to know that part of her. jihyo could handle her, even if having mina inside her that way meant that mina wouldn’t be able to fuck her properly — jihyo didn’t care.

“begging already, huh…” mina offers her a gentle smile, though what she says next doesn’t come out as soft. “convince me.”

jihyo becomes even more frustrated then, bucking her hips to feel more of mina’s fingers, earning a click of mina’s tongue.

“’m s-sorry!” jihyo quickly makes up for her mistake. “i c-can take it!” she insists, pouting slightly as she looks up at mina, cheeks burning when she notices just how close mina really was, towering over her, with her eyes so dark that part of jihyo became scared. “y-you don’t have to… t-to move them, miss… i just wan’ them there.”

“keep going.” mina encourages her to beg, her free hand finding the table behind jihyo for support, the other still inside her coworker’s panties, spreading jihyo’s wetness, wanting to know if she could grant jihyo’s wish.

jihyo was wet enough by the time mina lowered her hand further, still rubbing mina’s ego with her pitiful pleading. mina attempts to sink in and jihyo whines, clenching around the tip of mina’s fingers, prepared for the discomfort she’d feel until mina stopped, knuckles deep into her.

it doesn’t hurt — mina is careful and her fingers happen to slip in easily, but if she were to move, then jihyo would certainly be left with unwanted bruises.

perhaps it felt almost as good as having mina really fucking her, thrusting her fingers in and out without an obstacle, as knowing mina could easily tear her apart made her stomach clench, aroused by the idea of it but knowing she wouldn’t want that.

“it’s like you were made for this.” mina praises, lowering herself until her knees were touching the floor, knowing she couldn’t do much with the fingers she had stuffed inside jihyo. she pulls jihyo’s panties down to her ankles, looking up at the already disheveled girl, wondering how jihyo would look if she could really take her time to ruin her. “now, i don’t kneel. but since you’re such a good girl, miss park, i think you deserve this.”

it takes jihyo a lot of effort to not come undone the moment mina’s tongue meets her clit.

everything is hot. despite the cold air in the room, jihyo sweats, her skin burning as mina works her tongue against her sensitive nub, thighs locking mina there, letting out pitiful ‘miss myoui’s, not trying to fight against the urge to have mina destroying her. not in the slightest. it was far too late for that, and jihyo was too weak to pretend that that wasn’t exactly what she’d been craving for.

it’s all too much for her. the way mina sinks her nails on her thigh and moves the fingers inside her just barely, merely pressing her fingers against the slick walls carefully, velvety tongue making jihyo melt on the chair. whimpery moans reach mina’s ears sweetly, making mina moan against jihyo’s pussy, fighting back the urge to lay jihyo on that table and forget about their meeting.

“miss… can i-i…” jihyo hardly finishes her sentence, and mina sends her into a wave of bliss.

her fists become white as she holds the arms of the chair, crying as she gets ready to come for mina, impatient hips moving for more friction of mina’s fingers — but mina stops. what should’ve been an orgasm doesn’t happen, making jihyo open her watery eyes and search for mina’s, wanting to ask why she’d stopped, desperate for her release.

but nothing comes out from her mouth.

“i’m afraid our client must be arriving, miss park. you should probably get yourself clean. we wouldn’t want our client to make... vulgar assumptions, would we?” mina laughs, stuffing jihyo’s mouth with the two slender fingers that had been inside of her. she pulls them back before jihyo gets to fully clean them. “i’ll be waiting for you.”

during the meeting, jihyo gets to be the professional she was. mina doesn’t try anything while they’re discussing important matters with their client, and jihyo is allowed to prove mina she’s still a great professional after having her pride previously hurt. (not that jihyo cared if mina knew about her tendencies to submission, but part of her wanted mina to know she was more than that.)

when their client leaves, it’s already night. jihyo then finds herself trapped against mina and the table again, but this time, all mina wants is to let her know that they’re going home together — to mina’s. all mina says is that they weren’t yet done, and jihyo had no choice other than follow mina.

when the sun is rising, jihyo is still at mina’s mercy. mina is impressed with how far she was able to go with jihyo, only allowing her to come when she knows jihyo is about to break and beg her to stop rather than letting her come.

she learns then that she’s especially fond of the way jihyo sobs into the pillow when she is finally allowed to come, ass up for mina (barely able to stay like that, because her knees falter and her legs start trembling as she comes), body completely ruined by mina’s teeth, the palm of mina's hands and her sharp nails.

“you cry a lot, jihyo.” mina mumbles, pulling out of jihyo, slowly taking the harness around her waist off. jihyo turns her head to the other side when mina leaves the strap on the bed, next to her face, her body finally falling against the bed, still inevitably crying as mina kissed her back. “did i push it too far?”

jihyo shakes her head, incapable of looking at mina in the eye as she comes back to her full senses.

“talk to me, hyo. i need to know you’re feeling well,” mina’s voice softens, entirely different from the way she’d been speaking to jihyo all day long. she makes jihyo turn around and face her, thumb brushing jihyo’s cheek tenderly as she inches down for a short kiss. “do i have to make you speak?” mina taunts then, making jihyo’s eyes widen.

“n-no, i’m o-okay!” jihyo manages to say, tears falling as she blinks, her body still trying to recover from being used, abruptly forced to not come several times. “i’m just… i-i… you make me nervous!”

“i didn’t even notice.” mina smiles and jihyo pouts, losing her breath when mina presses her lips to her forehead. “you’re cute, miss park.”

jihyo huffs, the reaction more instinctive than intentional. “i’m not.”

“sure,” mina coos. she pulls away, intending to take jihyo in her arms and take care of her.

for a moment mina stops, admiring her well-done work ruining jihyo’s body, licking her lips when she runs her eyes down and catches a glimpse of jihyo’s reddened, soaked core, thoroughly ruined from being played with for far too long. mina’s stomach tightens at the realization that jihyo was still leaking with her own wetness, getting mina’s bed soaked under her.

jihyo sits up on the bed, face close to mina’s, wanting to get her attention away from her body, feeling shy again. “miss myoui.”

“it’s mina. no need to call me miss all the time,” mina passes her arm around jihyo’s waist. “though i liked to hear it when you were begging for me.” she finishes, and jihyo’s head fall to her shoulder. “mind to join me on a bath, miss park?”

“i like hyo better.” jihyo mutters softly. “can you give me a minute?”

“mhm.” mina agrees, but she pulls jihyo closer, making jihyo sit on her lap while jihyo finds the courage to get up and let herself be taken care of by mina. “just don’t sleep yet.”

“i won’t…” jihyo yawns, drowsy, closing her eyes and slowly forgetting her own words.

[notyourhetloki]

tell me what you want (NSFW)

Pronouns: none // gender neutral

/NSFW Kylo Ren x Reader/

A/N: sooo... I'm back (kinda). I've been struggling about my writing lately but my last Kylo imagine (this one) keeps getting notes so I decided to write a sequel! I hope yall enjoy ~

Warnings: reader is bottoming, Kylo is very straightforward and not gentle at all, mind fuck (literally), inappropriate use of the force.

—

On his way to the training quarters, Kylo realized he forgot about his helmet... but he couldn’t bring himself to give a damn.

You had seen his face before, but barely. Which proved to be a distraction.

You couldn't look away from him. His face, the way his hair moved around with his every move, his expressions when he glanced at you, his mouth…

Barely executing any attacks, you only halfway managed to deflect Kylos. And on the last strike, you let your lightsaber fall to the ground.

His own lightsaber then pointed at your neck, inches from skin. Anxiety now filling your chest.

"Pick it up" an unfiltered voice spoke. Deep and stern. With the lack of his helmet's modulator, his voice was so clear... it resonated through your body.

Slowly, you managed to move. Lowering yourself until your hands grazed the saber on the ground. Kylo kept his focus on you, maintaining eye contact and still following your neck with his lightsaber.

With one swift move, Kylo lifted his hand and, using the force, summoned your saber to him. Leaving you there kneeling and confused.

You stayed in position for what seemed like forever, just staring at Kylo and his dark eyes. The way he looked at you was... intense. But you weren't sure about his intentions. Maybe you were just crazy and desperate or-

"You look good like that..." almost a whisper, but audible in the now utmost silence of the room. Kylo had turned his saber off and looked at you up and down with what you could only describe as hungry eyes.

Your body shivered, heat forming in your core as you inhaled sharply. You weren't crazy. A thrill danced down your spine as you realized that. And Maker, how much you wanted this man.

He must have sensed your excitement, for now, his face displayed a smug half-smile. Yeah, you wanted him, but sometimes wanted to punch the man in the gut for always looking into your thoughts like that.

"Say that again?" he ordered mocking, in a way. His face full of delight... he enjoyed himself too much. 

"What do you want, Kylo?" you were irritated but turned mad when your question was met with silence and a stare. Ok, two could play the same game.

With all the concentration and force you could gather, you managed to look inside Kylo's mind. And what you found was... not really any resistance. 

"Tell me what you want... master." you insisted, voice inside his brain now. Maybe a bit too bold, but you couldn't resist using that last word. It sounded so right, so deliciously defiant, and you knew Kylo could appreciate that.

But nothing could have prepared you for his response.

Kylo took a fistful of your hair, hard enough to hurt. Then lowered himself to talk into your ear, but didn't. The voice came from inside your head.

"I want to take you and absolutely ruin you. Make you into a mewling pathetic mess. You’ll cry my name while I claim your body and in the end, you’ll be mine. Mine..." his voice was full of you could almost mistake as rage, his desire so intense and mad it sent a cold sweat through you.

You closed your eyes at that, emotions too overwhelming to bare. That only proved to be worse. His voice now came accompanied by visuals.

 In a bed, naked, the both of you laid. Kylo kissed you with hungry urgency, teeth nipping at your lower lip while one of his hands tugged at your hair, making you hum in anticipation.

Then, with a pull on your hips, you were spun around with your back facing him. Hands gripping the sheets as his long fingers grazed at your skin, down your spine...

You felt every single thing like it was actually happening, felt the way his skin ran through yours, his sweat and his tongue and lips and...

Suddenly you felt the tip of his cock grazing your entrance, slowly penetrating you at first but then rapidly gaining momentum as your walls deliciously stretched.

Maker, he was fucking you. Harsh and deep and full of need. His cock hitting a sweet little spot with every thrust, and you were a mess. 

He felt so big as he pinned you against the mattress, dominating you with his body.

Kylo was tugging at your hair while growling with pleasure. A sound so deep it sent you shivers and ached at your core. "So tight and horny for me, such a slut."

You felt out of this plane, out of your mind. All you could do was cry and shout Kylo's name. Dumb with the feeling of him around and inside you.

With a loud exhale, Kylo grunted softly "You're mine..." voice coarse with pleasure, he sank his teeth into your neck, starved and urgent. Oh, it felt so good, the pain and the pleasure mixing into pure bliss, you almost couldn't take it anymore. "I-I'm... I'm gonna..."

Before you could finish, the image was gone. Kylo shoved you by the hair onto the floor, both of you flushed red and sweating.

Panting, you were reminded it wasn't real... the bastard didn't even let you finish. And now you were on the floor, shocked.

Kylo could hide his hitched breath, but couldn't hide the redness on his face... maybe he didn't mean to show that much.

"Meet me at my quarters after dinner. We got many things to discuss..." Kylo stormed out of the room, face blushing and sweat coming down his temples.

You were left dumbfounded, a bit humiliated, and really horny. Did he fantasize about all of that before? Since when? How many fantasies did he have? Did he think about you often?

Yeah, you're sure you'd get all the answers soon enough.

[bratshaws]

through the hourglass 18. brb x oc

i really like his hair here idk WHY

a/n: this chapter was sprinkled with just a bit of my own self doubt sometimes uwu except i don't have a rooster hah. also, it's important to focus on Beatrice dealing with her demons........for reasons.

pairing: plus size!oc x rooster

warnings: fluff, GOD I HATE THEM BUT I LOVE THEM

goodness gracious (pls read this one to know more what this fic is about!!)

chapter

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@caitsymichelle13 @becks-things

-

“Bea,” Penny’s voice appears by her shoulder when they are at the bar later that night, with the brunette looking over to her boss with a smile, “I don’t know how to thank your aunt for giving Shells those tickets,” Penny turns her head to where a very happy Shells, who’s moving around rapidly, “I don’t think I’ve seen Shells get so many tables in one night.”

Beatrice smiles, pouring some beer inside a jug, then sliding to the man waiting at the counter, “You are welcome, Penny. My aunt is…full of surprises.” too many if you ask Bea, “But I’m glad Shells is happy.” and her friend was beaming, she even greeted Bob with a deep kiss outside before anyone could see them, leaving the spectacled pilot looking like a riped tomato with his eyes unfocused once he got inside.

Speaking of pilots, she couldn’t help but be more than happy when Rooster accepted her gift, she was so nervous, so scared that she forgot how open he truly was. He was amazing in so many ways she couldn’t find words. They met gazes briefly, he winked with a smirk like he usually did and Beatrice just smiled shyly, biting her lower lip and giggling to herself.

Maybe now her brain would give her a break with the random stupid thoughts, maybe now she could just enjoy being married to a man like him. Dr.Varma mentioned she was a lot better from years before, mentioning that while Rooster did help it was Beatrice who decided to work on herself because she wanted to. And she wanted to keep at it.

All she wanted was to have a long healthy life with her husband, her pilot, whom still made her heart beat faster and her breath leave her lungs in sighs. Beatrice was so focused on her thoughts she almost didn’t see the person sitting in front of her on the counter and when she looked up, it was Jessie! The girl from before!

She wasn’t wearing that hoodie though but a long sleeved shirt with an open collar, not showing her cleavage but seeing her like that - with her hair down and makeup - was already progress, “Oh hi! Welcome back!”

“Hello,” even her voice sounded brighter, her smile widening, “Can I get a water bottle please?”

“Sure!” Beatrice turned to get it and almost screamed when she saw one of the new Navy recruits already sending an appreciative look towards Jessie, having to bite her cheek hard to prevent the triumphant shout. “There you go, I’m glad to see you again!”

Jessie smiles sweetly, opening the bottle to bring it to her lips, “Thank you I…you helped me a lot.” Beatrice’s smile turned fond, “I…I got new roommates for college, that group of people…wasn’t helping me anymore.”

Well that was pretty fast, she didn’t think Northride would accept it within a week, “That’s good, and is your new roommate a cool person?”

“She’s cool. She’s funny,I like her.” 

“Good,” Bea says, “I met my best friend while in Northride,” that made Jessie’s eyes widen in response, looking up at Beatrice with her lips parted, “That one, over there.” and the brunette gestured to Shells, who looked to be stepping on clouds, greeting people with such a sweet look some patrons were actually asking if she was okay. Not that Shells wasn’t kind or welcoming, but she was used to half of these people and having her be so…sweet was weird. Bea heard someone say that ‘wasn’t Bea the sweet one??’

“Wait, wait, you are the one from the volleyball game!” Jessie says with recognition, “Oh my God, I was there, but I was too far away to see anything! Oh my God, it’s you guys! That’s…you guys are legends already within the college.”

And Shells returns just in time to hear that, almost sliding over to get the information better, “Oh? How so?”

“Well, for one you guys won against a former national winning  team when Northride doesn’t even have an actual official team. Second, you guys wore the Northride colors and you guys basically wiped the floor against those girls, it was so good the dean wants to make the volleyball team official.”  she explains, her smile widening more and more, “You know, I think it has to do with you guys being so good and focused, that really helped people see how important it’d be to have a sports team.”

Beatrice and Shells looked at each other, then at Jessie, with the blonde being the first one to break the silence, “Well, took them long fucking enough. Finally we’ll be treated as we deserve to be. Does that mean we have to sign stuff now?”

“You can if you guys want to, everyone is still talking about that game to this day.” she says, rolling the water bottle between her palms with a small smile, “It was amazing and if you guys ever wander to Northride again you might be considered celebrities already.”

Well that was interesting. The idea they would be so important was more than enough to make Beatrice blush and Shells act like she was already expecting it, ‘We haven’t been to Northride since grad.” the brunette says, filling another jug with beer, “I wonder if they’d let us in.”

“Well aren’t we fucking celebrities now? They better.” Shells laughs, grabbing the jug from Bea’s hand to set on the tray, walking backwards away from the bar, “Besides, what the hell, we might give them a boost of enthusiasm.”

Beatrice just chuckles, waiting until her friend is gone from there to turn her eyes to Jessie again, “Well, thank you for sharing that with us. It’s a bit surprising but not unwelcome.”

Jessie nods once with her own smile still in place, her eyes wandering about for a second before she quickly snaps her gaze away, “Um…I-I’ll have this one to go, if that’s okay?”

“To go? You just got here?”

“Ye-Yeah, i know it’s just…” and Beatrice saw the same recruit from before looking at the girl, his eyes never leaving her seating form, “I just think I should go.”

Beatrice felt bad, but she didn’t want to push her into doing something she wouldn’t feel safe doing yet. Heavens know how much she went through before doing anything with Rooster…and it wasn’t even her who did it, it was Shells who gave her a push.

But this girl wasn’t her and she wasn’t Shells, they had no other relations outside the bartender and the customer…so Beatrice just offered her a small smile,”Sure, no worries. Drive safe out there.” Jessie nods, keeping her eyes low as she slid the cash on the counter, scurrying out of the bar like a mouse trying to escape a cat.

Oh well. “It’s fine.” she muttered, placing the money in the register before she continued working. She really reminded her of herself, damn…Beatrice wondered if this was just a test to be thankful for, considering she and Rooster were married already, wondering if this would be her story if she had never worked on getting to know him more.

She inhales quickly, shaking her head with a soft chuckle, “I have to stop thinking like this,” she sing songs quietly, wiping a rag on the bar to clean it, already hearing the goblin voice chittering in the back, begging to be heard. She closes her eyes briefly, imagining Rooster’s deep voice instead, immediately calming down when it takes over her brain instead.

And it worked, beautifully so, because she was already feeling better after a while. 

Shells returned still talking about their new status amongst the students of Northride, this time Penny was close enough to hear it too, “Can you imagine them putting our posters on the walls of the Grand Hallway? Ooooh, it’d be so badass!’

“Who’s doing that?”

Beatrice answers Penny before her niece could, “Our game last year is still making the rounds on Northride, people still talk about it and we are considered–”

“Famous!”

“...something like that,” Bea mutters, “It’s really surprising, I didn’t think they would do that, I thought they’d forget about us soon after the game, they didn’t seem to care when they saw us at The Den, remember?”

“I mean, some people won’t, but if the majority does, I think that’s a bonus.” Shells smirks, leaning on her hand against the bar counter, “What do you think they’ll do when we visit? Fanfare? Spotlights?” Both her friend and aunt sent her a look, “What? Oh come on, wouldn’t you want something like that?”

Beatrice hums with a small frown, “I don’t know, it’d be interesting but not necessary.”

“I think it’d be extremely necessary.”Shells retorts, “I want my poster inside that place, I’m not joking. Remember those stupid people from our class who always gave us the stinky eye whenever we left for volleyball?”

“No?”

Shells blinks, then lets out an ‘ah!’ as if she remembered something, “Right, me and Ev sort of protected you from them, kinda hid you from view whenever possible.”

“You did?”

“Yep! It wasn’t so bad, but they were those snobby rich kids whose parents paid for everything and the second they showed an interest in art they tossed them in Northride. Bunch of assholes, to be honest.”

Beatrice stares at Shells with her eyes partially wide, she had no idea, absolutely no idea there were people like that in her class. Sure, she did meet some of her classmates in college, but they were all so nice? She never once heard of people like that before but…knowing Shells and Evelyn, it was understandable why she never did.

She knew they were protective of her, not like her family was, she knew they wanted her to get a good life and to not worry about anything else, and especially get someone who loved her…”Oh.”

“Yeah…anyway! I want my poster there, huge,” she spreads her arms to show what the poster would be like, “Immense, covers the whole fucking wall and I’ll be there like, yep that’s me, that’s totally me.”

“That’s…nice, but I don’t think they’ll get posters of us, Shells.”

“Why not?” Shells asks as Beatrice leans down behind the counter to pick more napkins, smiling at the couple who asked before her eyes return to Shells, “I think it’d be great for morale.”

“I think you are thinking too much,honey.” Penny’s voice finally appeared, her brow rising with amusement as her niece just pouted her lips in indignation,crossing her arms over her bust with a sigh, “Especially because we are still at the bar, Michelle. Maybe we could focus on that now, hm?”

Shells rolls her eyes comically, “Fine, aunt Penny.” she picks the tray with beverages, tossing a finger in her aunt’s direction, “But! Hear what I say, big poster as big as Kylie’s!” and she immediately remembers she got the tickets for the concert later that month, almost skipping away to greet the patrons who were waiting by the table.

Penny shakes her head amusedly, “Crazy girl. Anyway, let’s get back to work, shall we?”

Beatrice was looking to where Shells walked off to with her brows furrowed just enough, but she blinked out of her stupor when she felt Penny’s presence leave her side and then walk to the other end of the bar. “...yeah, let’s.”

-

Was she soft-hearted?

Yes.

Was she naive?

Once maybe.

Beatrice was too busy chewing the side of her nail as she recalled what Shells told her, about how she was protected by her and Evelyn…she wasn’t upset, she was…well, she was a bit upset with herself. She wished she’d noticed it, but even if she did, would she act on it? Probably not, she’s still pretty much passive to conflicts and outbursts, she’d probably step to the side and try her best to ignore it.

She kept to her corner, that’s how it always was, it was safe. Until a year ago, until she felt she could open up more because she…felt more mature? Would that be a good reason? She paced in circles in the middle of their room as Rooster turned the lights on the floor below them, his footsteps hitting the staircase until he stopped by the door, watching Beatrice repeat the walking pattern a few more times until he finally spoke up.

“Babe.” he calls and Beatrice stops, looking at him with her thumb still in her mouth, “Baby, don’t do that, you’ll hurt yourself.” he immediately steps closer, grabs her hand and presses a kiss to her thumb,rubbing it with his own for a few seconds, “What’s going on? What got you worried?”

He always asks, doesn’t he? He probably doesn’t think you–

Stop it.

And the goblin voice goes silent instantly, much to her surprise, “...Honestly, I don’t know, I don’t know how to begin.”

He hums, turning the two of them so his back is facing the bed and his hands take hers, dragging her to sit on his lap once he does fall on the mattress, “We’ll start simple then: what are you thinking right now?”

Beatrice parts her lips, inhaling to speak but the words stop at her throat for a few seconds, “...about how much I’ve changed. Not…that I haven’t noticed but…I don’t know, Jessie showed up again at the bar.”

“Yeah? How’s she?”

“She’s…okay? She’s dressing nicer too…again every time I see her I just see myself and…” Beatrice huffs out a breath of air, “...and I see how much I’ve changed. And how much I’m willing to do…years ago I’d never think about hitting someone or fighting someone to defend myself or those that I love. While I still get a bit nervous, it’s not like it was.”

Rooster smiles, pressing his chin on her cleavage - the soft fabric of her shirt brushing his chin- “You made a lot of progress.”

“I did.” she says, “...I still have a lot of things to do, better myself even more but…I don’t know, it’s just…” she sighs, her eyes slowly rising to meet his, “Sometimes I regret not doing this then, you know? Have more confidence, acting up more…but I was scared and…maybe because I’m seeing myself in Jessie so much I’m trying to heal this part of me?” she pauses, “I might need to tell that to Dr.Varma on monday.”

Rooster hums again, wrapping his arms around her waist to pull her flush against his body, leaning his head up just enough to kiss her jawline, “You did great gorgeous. You are doing great. I’ve seen you grow a lot and I appreciate it so much. I know it’s hard and honestly, I kinda wish some of the shit I did now I did back then.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, but I was too angry to. And you were too scared to. It’s that simple, we wouldn’t have done a good job gorgeous, not back then, not when we were still trying to get out shit together.” he explains, “I do blame myself a lot for the time I couldn’t spend with Mav, about how angry I felt but I can’t go back in time even if I wanted to, I’m just enjoying what I have with him now. If you want to help Jessie, you can, if you think it’ll help you heal up even more, go for it.”

Beatrice’s smile turns soft and her hands cup his cheeks, “...thank you, Roos.” she kisses the tip of his nose then his lips, giggling against his mouth when his hands immediately drop to her ass, “Roos.”

“I’m just keeping it warm.” he mutters in her mouth, pulling back with a lazy smile as Beatrice looks down at him, “Feeling any better?”

Beatrice inhales softly, her eyes avoiding his for a second before meeting irises, “I am. I am feeling a lot better.” she doesn’t make any movement to leave his lap, instead she drapes her arms around his neck and gets even more comfortable, “But on the bright side…Jessie said me and the girls are famous in Northride?” he arches his eyebrows, “Yeah, apparently the volleyball game was more than special for them, we are considered almost…legends for the college, so much they now have an official volleyball team.”

Rooster widened his eyes, then grinned, “Alright!Look at that! You guys did great, honestly it was the best game I’ve seen in a while.”

“Thank you Roos…and to think I almost…said no.”

His gaze softens again and his fingers gently brush on the seam of her shorts, barely petting the skin of her thigh “And look at you, breaking barriers.”

“Yeah, I did didn’t I?” it warmed his heart seeing her eyes light up with her smile soon following, “And I had the photoshoot and then I beat the shit out of you-know-who, on my birthday!! I…I am proud of myself.”

“Good, so am I gorgeous.” he says, “I know you won’t feel like this all the time and don’t blame yourself if you don’t. We aren’t perfect, we get sad about things we have no control over sometimes.”

Beatrice just looked at him with so much adoration he felt his body was going to burst, her hands returning to his cheeks where her thumbs gently brushed on his cheekbones “...Okay.” she giggles, “Thank you Roos.”

“You don’t have to thank me.” his lips meet hers on a brief kiss, “Baby, you are my girl and I want my girl to remember she’s not alone.” followed by another giggle from Beatrice, one that held but her shyness and her gratefulness at the same time. “So, whenever you need me, I’ll be with you.”

It comes to Beatrice she had only seen things like these in movies, recalling how pretty much everyone compared their relationship to a rom-com, or books and she was so thankful this was real life. This was real life, her life. “And I’ll be with you. Always.” she replies, pressing their foreheads together for a quick second, then sliding out of his lap, “We better sleep.”

His hands remain on her thighs, keeping her in place between his legs now, “Yeah, will you be okay?”

“I will,Roos.” she smiles, “We’ll have a long day tomorrow before Ev’s party, so…the rest will be more than welcome.”

“I know how to make us fall asleep faster–” she gives him a look by narrowing her eyes and pursing her lips, “...I was going to say watch tv, angel.”

“Of course you were.” she laughs, kissing him one last time, stepping back from between his legs, “But we can work on that tomorrow, can’t we?” his eyes are on her at all times, turning his head to follow her walking into the bathroom biting her lower lip, “You just have to be patient.”

Rooster smirks, “Going to try my best, gorgeous.” and his eyes drop to the expanse of her thigh and the curve of a butt cheek barely peeking from under her shorts, “Gonna try my best.”

[choccyhearts]

NSFW Eddie Headcanons (18+)

Note: Happy Valentine's Day! Apologies that this may be all I upload today, I tried really hard to write more but I am very burnt out at the moment and am dealing with a lot right now </3 buuut, I hope you all have an amazing day!!!

CW: 18+!! G/N! reader, talk of oral sex, genitals not mentioned, little talk of insecurites, smutty obvs but not too graphic, lowkey fluffy/romantic, aftercare

Eddie "they let me hit cause i'm goofy" Munson:

Has stopped you while you're going down on him to release random thoughts from his brain:

"Why is it called a "building" if it's already "built?"" "Would a watermelon actually grow in my stomach if I ate a seed wrapped in a wet paper towel?" "If they really built this city on rock and roll...would it not just collapse immediately? Wouldn't they need some...heavy metal for support??"

Has gotten so deep into roleplaying before that he forgot it was supposed to lead up to sex:

"Wait...how is a blow job supposed to fix my headache? Like, logically?"

Will try to say the dumbest things when he cums:

"Ah! I've sprung a leak!"

Sometimes during sex, weird noises happen, and it's completely natural...but Eddie will giggle:

"Was that squeak you or me?" "Babe, all of your bones just cracked, are you alright?" "I swear to Christ that was the bed frame, not me! I didn't eat any beans today!"

He has tried to see if he can multi-task during sex, just to see if he can:

"Okay, you just stay down there, I'll hold on to my other sweetheart and move my hips. Let's see if I can play while we do this" "Okay, so that is a firm no. I cannot eat cereal and make love to you...I'm really sorry baby"

After proposing the idea of shower sex...

"So...do we get clean first and then get dirty...or like just get dirty?" "Babe, what if I go down on you while you wash your hair...oh yeah, I guess soap suds do travel down..." "It...is...so...slippery........more than usual..."

During movie night:

(In the background are a character's screaming) "Okay, please don't misinterpret this, but I am really horny right now, but I swear nothing on the screen has made me like this"    "I bet I could cum faster than Jason Voorhees can get a kill...let's see"

Shuffles over to you after turning on some music:

"Alright, let's get groovin'!"

Eddie "a giant teddy bear on the inside" Munson:

Holds your hand and gives it kisses

Delivers forehead kisses regularly

When you're starting to slow down from exhaustion:

"You're doing so good, such a good job" "Getting tired? Lemme take care of you, baby. Hold on to me, I'll move you"

Will softly cradle your face and let his finger run along your jaw

Will trace your stretch marks and kiss along them

Holds on to your love handles and massages them

If you're feeling a bit insecure about stretch marks or love handles:

"I don't know why you hate these so much, they're so useful in a time like this" "Christ, you're so amazing, every mark, everything, it's all beautiful"

Attends to your every need:

"Are you cramping? Here, let's switch it up a bit" "Do you need any water? Your mouth is a little dry...don't be embarrassed, baby. It's okay, this is technically physical activity" "Do you need more kisses? Where?"

Loves holding you close to him, feeling connected as one:

"Come here, let me hold you...wanna feel you right against me...keep you safe" "I don't care about the sweat, let me love you" "I'm all yours, all of me"

Eddie "aftercare is top priority" Munson:

Tries to read your body language to guess what you need, but will ask just to be sure:

"Here, sugar, drink up. Need you hydrated" "Do you need me to carry you to the bathroom?" "I'll be right back, I'm gonna go start the shower"

If you need to be held he's right there:

"Lemme snuggle you...you did such a good job, sweetheart" "Breathe for me, just focus on breathing. For me..." "You fit against my body so well, I just wanna be here forever"

Wil hum songs while you both calm down -- he does take requests!

Laces your fingers together and rubs his thumb against yours

Kisses galore! Anywhere and everywhere, an endless supply!

[nemesis-is-my-middle-name]

My biggest struggle when it comes to matching songs with fics - because I sometimes like to make what are basically soundtrack playlists for fics I'm really into - is that so many of them have the right tone and almost the right relationship between the two people depicted, except for the line or two that turns it from something that could be platonic into something that is clearly Romantic. It's so frustrating, because it's so close to being perfect but it's now completely unusable if taken as a whole.

On that note... do you have any songs you associate with oop? Or ones that you have listened to to get you into the mood to write certain parts?

SO FUCKING REAL. why is everything a love song!! why is everything a BORING HETEROSEXUAL love song?? is it so much to ask for my platonic blorbos to have SOME food. honestly.

anyway hmm this is. a toughie. i don't really listen to music for writing bc it distracts my brain (not music with words anyway. i have a video game music playlist for getting in the zone for any kind of work/focus stuff) and also like we just said it's so hard to find songs that aren't romantic and also you know what songs there are like NONE of? people who met approx five minutes ago but have to trust each other and work together and get invested super quick anyway. which is like 80% of what oop's character dynamics are, tbh. also tough bc there's probably songs that ive listened to and thought "ooh that's so oop" but i don't have a playlist so i like. forgot immediately. so with that in mind here's some vague ideas:

Evelyn: like 30% ingo 30% emmet 30% volo 10% just vibes. up top bc it's also the song i mentioned in that original post. and if the mountain's gotta move, i'll find a way to circumvent it...

I'll Be Your Pilot: i live in fear that one day i'll have an Epiphany that this song is actually romantic bc right now it's so good for parent-child dynamics. anyway. ingo/emmet/cyllene @ rei and akari, also specifically: i won't leave you to suffer, i won't let them prevail, i know a trapdoor shortcut-gate into the wilds of the free air!

Ribs: clan leader theme. there aren't a ton of songs about being circumstantially pushed into a leadership role too young and struggling under the pressure so i've gotta make do with songs about Being A Teenager instead. o well. i would also like to say that that One Part is very ingo (i want 'em back, the minds we had, it's not enough to feel the lack i want 'em back i want 'em back i want 'em-!)

Machine: this is a good song for anyone who's like In Service To A God and it's bad. a mightier power who just lacks my perspective, and who lacks my organics, and who covets my defects...

[alairmena]

Ohhhh let me help you with that!!

1. S t i c k t o o n e

Trust me. It's easier than it looks like. I also have ADHD and it seems counterproductive to phrase it like this but actually this is the only thing that works. Stick to ONE MAIN PROJECT, and have ONE SIDE PROJECT that you flirt with when you are not working on the main. When your brain wants to think about something else, about some third WIP, punish it consciously. "NOT until i write at least 200 words in Main WIP!" The side WIP is meant for you to be able to switch places between Main and Side project in case you get overwhelmed with the first one. Literally just swap them. Woosh. Now you got another Main WIP, and it's this one. "No working on other things until i have written at least 500 words in this Main thing!" If you don't pick two projects in this way, you're forever stuck switching between all 548 wips you currently have (I've seen it in your soul. you can't hide anything from me.) and simple math can tell you that finishing 2 stories by jumping back and forth would require you significantly less time than finishing 548 of them.

2. Create a disciplinary RULE

ALSO CONTROVERSIAL BUT HEAR ME OUT - without rules, your brain will forever do whatever it wants. And do you want to be the victim to your brain's weird chemistry? -Exaclty. You don't need bazillion rules for a good writing discipline. You need only one. For me, that rule is - I am only allowed to write chronologically (accordingly to the outline!). I was, as many ADHDers, the crazy ass writer that uses the story outline like a damn trampoline. Sometimes i'd be writing the scene in the beginning, then I'd jump to write a scene at the end, then move to writing something in the middle, etc etc, whatever my brain found most fun at the moment. And what did I get? A puzzle that doesn't even fit!!! So i set that rule to myself, to only write in chronological order from the outline. No backs and forths. The only forward writing I allow is if I want to write the ending beforehand - because that will help me focus on where I'm going with the story, and not meander it further. But the main writing has to happen wherever I am in the outline right now. This one rule is all the discipline in writing that I needed to be able to finish at least one of my projects. (One is in the editing phase, and other two are very well into making). It gives structure to my writing life, it gives purpose to my method. Rules are dumb when there are too many - but living without any rules is actual hell on earth. If this doesn't work: find better rule. Your brain may work in different ways than mine. You need something that you know is going to help you and not send you ten steps backwards. Maybe the rule about chronological order in particular is making your head hurt, but a rule about "write EVERY DAY, even for a couple of words" may be more applicable to you. There are many ways to create rules. And of course, once you pick your own custom designed disciplinary rule, stick to it! Even when you break every other rule. Stick to this one!

3. Challenge yourself

Make it fun. Think up new methods to spice it up. Challenge yourself! If ADHD hates something, it's routines and repetitive behaviors. We don't wanna do the same old thing of sitting down and writing because it's boooriiiiingggg. So what you gotta do is really make it fun for you, each time when the process seems so draining and boring. Write in a different place - usually writing in your room? Go to a cafe. Write in a different format - usually writing on your laptop? Write in your notebook. Write in a different time - usually writing in the morning? Write in the evening. You can always test out new ways of setting up your writing process, and go back to the ones you know are fine and working. Obviously don't do whatever would distract you [edit: i got distracted, forgot where this sentence was going. i think it's actually quite fitting] Addition with a Note: this part might not work on every ADHD person! If something works for me as an ADHDer, it's fucking spite. Find a good friend to tease you for a goal. "Yooo you DEFINITELY can't finish 4k words in an evening, literally no way you're doing this" And it fucking works every single time. My need to prove them wrong is stronger than my need to switch back and forth between the processes in my brain that I actually put the effort into it. That's literally how my friend got me to write 20k words in a week (and last 8k was on THE LAST DAY LITERALLY LAST 3 HOURS OF THE COUNTDOWN) which is clinically insane behavior that I do not expect from you but I believe that every ADHDer is somewhat capable of accessing this type of hyperfocus power within themselves. And brace yourself for the most important part in this entire course:

4. OUTLINE OUTLINE OUTLINE !!!

I literally cannot stress enough how much a good outline helps! And take it from me! A pantser! Super detailed outlines stress me the fuck out to the point I can't move! But. Super vague outlines are literal goldmine. Create a structure of your story. It'll make it infinitely more intuitive to know what the next scene is. No more writing blocks for ya. They all gone. When you do the Vague Outline™ well, it's literally so easy to write that the only thing still stopping you is only your own lazy brain. Because the Vague Outline ™ figures it all out for you. If you want me to write more about how I outline shit, I can share in another post, this one is already getting too long ^^' And, as always:

5. Never give the fuck up.

You are not your disability. You can fucking do this. Even if you're forty, even if you're employed and super busy, even if you so surely believe you can't because of an imposter syndrome or some shit. Why do you keep limiting yourself?

Trust me, there is nothing holding you from the future where you finish your stories and people get interested in them. Everything's fixable. You are not fucking broken. You're capable of achieving your dreams just as everyone else, and it may take a bit more effort, but where's the pride in writing without effort! Yeah! You get the bragging rights when you write DESPITE your situation!

If the future doesn't come to you - run for it.

If it outruns you - fucking create it from scratch.

You are your future.

Take your writing motivation dose for today:

You will finish that WIP.

You will find people that like it.

You will be recognized by someone as a living legend that you are.

It may not happen today, but it will happen. Stop the worries, stop the overthinking. You got this, you goddamn living legend.

[icewindandboringhorror]

Daily Log 6

Trying out (probably just temporarily) making short daily-ish notes about things, in an attempt to see if it helps me be more reflective or productive lol.

Activities: I always basically need a 'recovery day' after running errands or anything, so.. not very productive, relatively boring day, very sleepy and headachy lol..

Went to the store to pick up something essential that I forgot the day before. Also tried out a new boardgame/cardgame thing just to test the rules/see if I'd like to play it with people in the future.

Played a few of the wii sports resort and wii fit games (which I do every weekend lol.. my weekly Wii check in... I still love the wii so much even though it's an obsolete console to everyone or whatever hghj... shout out to anyone still actively playing the nintendo Wii). Though I cut it short and didn't do dancing games or anything all that active, since I felt so tired and sick-ish. TpT

The most productive things were watering some plants, and also cooking and doing a lot of food prep. I love chopping cabbage into really thin stringy ribbon slices, it's kind of mesmerizing to see how small and even you can get it. If I had enough social energy to have a group chat or something I would always be texting stuff like ''sliced up a cabbage today....... effervescent''.

Did a few maintenance tasks (clearing out online notifications, deleting spam emails, wrote out my weekly plan and to-do list/main goals for the upcoming week and organized a few papers, etc.)

Honestly the rest of the day I was just in a sleepy haze, or actually napping (fell asleep at my desk whilst trying to work on the tapestry translations lol), etc. Still very worldbuilding inspired and thinking about a lot of stories and ideas at once but sadly my physical energy does not match the energy in my brain.

Cutting cabbage today made me think of bligabata (one of the staples of the Avirre'thel diet, basically giant cabbages that grow along streams). I miss doing little posts like that. It's just hard to work in alongside bigger/longer term projects like the worldbuilding slideshow and games and stuff.

Notable sights: A very large bird perched on a comically tiny wobbling branch at the very top of a tree that looks like it wouldn't hold it's weight. Watched a squirrel pick through the grass under the spotty shade of a tree, it looked like it was leaping through little shapes in the shadows. Saw a different bird fly into a hole in a building next to a gutter and then heard a chorus of tiny little cheepy noises, so it might have been a parent bringing food to it's children. I've seen some bird eggs on the ground the past few weeks, perhaps babies are hatching. Came across the discarded bone of an eaten chicken wing laying in the middle of a sidewalk, an omen of the universe mocking me for my recent anemia fueled chicken wing cravings.

Goals moving forward: Focus on social activities, finding new friends in the places I want to move, communicating with ones I have. Physical therapy exercises. Plant nasturtiums!!! Finish and upload videos, edit costume pictures & etc. Do the new costumes I've planned. MAKE SCULPTURES at some point, I miss them.

Notable foods: Made kale chips. Also fish tacos, which included making a cabbage slaw and some pico de gallo. Had more asparagus too. >:3 A good day in terms of having foods that are actually somewhat enjoyable, though I think laboring for them sometimes makes them less good lol, like.. spending a hour on prep work and then having to clean up everything and feeling sick afterwards from being in a warm kitchen etc. - in return for maybe 20 minutes of eating..? The cost benefit analysis doesn't always work out in my head. Oh, also had one of my reserve cans of gingerale that I mostly just keep in case of stomach aches, but just had it as a treat because I was feeling overheated.. crispy ice cold ginger ale.. still an unbeatable experience.. .. pretending I am in the arctic instead of in doo doo stink usa where we have 85F days and heatwaves in spring and fires and shit every summer... icy icey, i am snow.. eooughhh

[supermightyglue]

stinkabutt im on my hands and knees begging for somemore dickhouse chick content (if you want to<3)

yes i always want to i love getting asks nd reqs !! its like christmas nd i love dickhouse chick i have so many thoughts about her ! im horrible i promise i will think of actual headcanon things soon idk if these random things i do are okay or if y’all like them but im bad at thinking of specific scenarios/prompts so i am very open to reqs for that <3

i’ve said this before, but she goes by her last name almost exclusively. so much so that dave actually forgot her real name for a while

to casual fans she is the jackass girl .. but she prefers dickhouse chick

ik all my jackass girls are a mess, but she’s a mess in a different way. the mess that looks put together and has a nice, clean apartment but is one of those ppl who neglects herself. dry lips and doesn’t use chapstick, sleeps in her contacts, doesn’t brush her hair .. but she showers religiously and smells good

also shes that bitch to forget to eat :/ and when she does she’s picky .. loves soup tho. any kind. mostly she lives on caffeine and vodka

she’s fun and fits in but she is SO serious when it comes to work. as serious she can be working on jackass and big brother, anyway. when she’s focused writing or trying to get good footage, she does NOT want to be bothered

aside from that though, she’s surprisingly patient when everyone messes with her. especially because she can give it back even worse

she’s lowkey bossy LMAO

practically tremaine’s little sister. not in a sweet way, though. he will make her life hell if the mood strikes him. they’re just on the same wavelength and equally horrible. she’s better than him at persuading people to do stunts, though. and she’s smug about it.

not only one of the dickhouse founders, but a jackass founder. it would not be what it is without her because she is almost more horrible than the guys—but always has the solutions and irons out the kinks

skates casually but is more into the bmx stuff.

was always into photography, even when she was younger, but she was also always Herself so she didn’t focus on pretty things to photograph and just captured gnarly shit

but she WILL take photos of the guys. never posed or anything, always candids. she takes photos during filming and stuff ofc, but she has a stash of happy smiley photos of everyone because she cherishes them.

always says she’s too busy to have a pet and can’t even keep fish alive but she took in a stray cat who’s honestly kinda really mean but she always put out food for him and eventually he just walked into her apartment and refused to leave. he is her baby. she takes care of him more than she takes care of herself.

she ensures that all bits that could include costumes have costumes. she loves a good costume

in my brain, she has these giant hazel doe eyes that can melt people and by people i mostly mean mr pj clapp but he would never say that out loud (pontius, tremaine, dave, and preston totally see it tho)

not close to her family, they don’t really like what she’s doing with her life .. she doesn’t really give a shit, though.

thinks everyone is too hard on ehren and always sticks up for him. he might be a lil in love with her but she’s oblivious and thinks of him as a brother. poor guy

she’s kinda shy with new people tbh. it takes a lil bit to adjust to them—especially bam. she doesn’t like how he treats people and it took her a while to acknowledge that he can be alright sometimes

stephanie is her bestie. they’re like sisters <3

she had the idea for the valentine bit and it’s her favorite one

the best gift giver ever

loves the pacific northwest and lowkey wants to move there .. the downside is she would live in the same area as dave england

she once got very very drunk and cried because of how much she loves them all. she never heard the end of it. she also kissed steve that night. she REALLY never heard the end of that.

but usually when she’s drunk she’s just really chatty and fun and will try to do stunts .. a few of them were used in the show and movies.

[babyboibucky]

The Match - Part 6

Pairing: CEO!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: You deal with the aftermath of your decision.

Word Count: 2.9k

Warnings: There’s a little bit of smut in here, not too filthy though I guess???

A/N: VOILA NO ANGST IN THIS CHAPTER, only tension teehee anyway I hope this doesn’t disappoint and I am looking forward to seeing everyone’s rage about this part lmfaoooo

The Match Masterlist || MAIN MASTERLIST

The last time you lost sleep was back in your days at the university, when you were working on your thesis. And that was years ago so now that you were wide awake at two in the fucking morning, it was frustrating you.

What was even more frustrating was the fact that you were up because of a guy, and not just any guy— Bucky Barnes.

You didn't know whether you made the right decision of rejecting him like that, without even giving the relationship a damn chance. But you were right, weren't you? That making it official with courtship was going to make your corporate life a living hell.

Perhaps you were overthinking?

You groaned out loud and sat up on your bed, grabbing your phone from the night stand and opening up your messaging app.

I'm sorry. I didn't mean those things that I said.

Delete, delete, delete.

Can we talk again?

Delete, delete, delete.

I already miss you.

"Really, now?" you chuckled to yourself, albeit sarcastically.

When did you ever chase a guy? Never in you entire life did you put your walls down for a fucking guy. What would make Bucky an exception? Sure, he was rich as fuck and handsome as hell but those wouldn't give him an immunity from your pride.

Throwing your phone under your pillow, you decided to stand by your verdict about keeping things professional between you and Bucky.

-

The universe seemed to hate you because aside from losing sleep, you also forgot to set your alarms and now you were running late for the mancom meeting. You really had to confront Bucky like that a day before the meeting, huh?

By the time you reached the conference room, the meeting was already in progress. Heads turned to you upon your arrival, the entire room silent as you whispered your apologies. When you looked around, you realized that the only seat available was the one next to Bucky.

Great, just great!

You could feel his eyes on you as you carefully made your way towards him, mumbling another apology for your tardiness before sitting down. You knew how much Bucky hated it when people were late, whether for a meeting or for a rendezvous. The last time you were late, he denied you of your orgasm when he fingered you in his car.

Was he thinking of the same thing now? If not for last night's discussion, you would probably be bent down on his desk by lunch time. You cleared your throat and squeezed your legs uncomfortably, a gesture that Bucky noticed right off the bat.

You crossed your legs and focused your attention on the presentation until you noticed what Bucky was doing beside you. You tried to be discreet when you checked him out through your peripheral vision; he was leaning back against his seat with his legs wide apart. He seemed to be paying attention to the presentation but then he started stroking his chin in a certain way that made you remember all the times he did that whenever he had his eyes on you.

"Mister Barnes? What do you think about this suggestion?" the head of operations asked.

Bucky hummed lowly as he stroked his lower lip, nodding his head in approval before saying in a rough voice, "I like it."

"I like it."

"Like what?" you asked innocently, lifting a curious brow at Bucky when you entered his office one night in a tight fitting skirt with a slit that showed off the garter of your stockings.

You knew that it was going to drive Bucky insane if you walked around the office wearing something so teasing like that. To hell with the HR, you actually received a memo for wearing such at a workplace but whatever. The reward from Bucky would surely be more than enough to make this decision worth it.

"Playing coy now, are we?" Bucky asked, standing up from his seat and then walking over to you.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Bucky." you teased.

Bucky smirked and kept his eyes on you when he knelt down in front of you, his rough palms sliding against the skin of your thighs before tugging at the edge of your stockings.

"I'll show you what I'm talking about." he said before he bunched up your skirt, licking a stripe against your lace-clad pussy.

You exhaled heavily at the memory and shook your head. Fuck no, you weren't going to give in! You weren't even sure whether Bucky was intentionally teasing you. Nope, definitely not giving in so easily.

-

You survived the entire day, despite being on the receiving end of Bucky's subtle teasing. That motherfucker was testing you alright, you were damn sure of it. He really went to the pantry during lunch, when you were washing your mug at the sink. And he had the audacity to stand behind you, pretending to be reaching for something from the cupboards.

Janet the snitch was there too! Thank fuck she was preoccupied with her salad and didn't notice when Bucky pressed his crotch against your ass, his breath fanning against your neck when he whispered "Excuse me." in that delicious, rough voice of his.

Thinking that you were finally free to head home, you started gathering your things until you received an e-mail from none other than Bucky. It was a little past seven in the evening already and you've submitted all your reports earlier. What does he want now?

Come see me in my office. Now.

Regards, Bucky Barnes

A surge of electricity coursed through your veins, your entire body going cold and you weren't sure whether you should be nervous or excited. Or aroused, even. You weren't going to lie but you sort of hoped that his e-mail contained another dick pic again, something to let you know that everything was fine between the two of you.

Who were you kidding though, you were the one who asked for this set-up.

You adjusted your skirt and went straight to the elevator, counting the seconds until it reached Bucky's floor. Every step you took towards his office felt heavier and heavier as you neared his door. What does he want?! You couldn't think of anything that he needed to talk to you about.

"Shit. Okay, bitch you got this." you mumbled to yourself before knocking.

Bucky didn't even tell you to come in, he just opened the door and left it ajar as he went back to his seat behind his desk. He seemed agitated but god did he look good. You really needed to get a grip of yourself.

"You need anything, Mister Barnes?" it felt strange to address him like that.

He heaved out a sigh and shrugged, "I'm very disappointed in this report." he said, slamming the folder on top of his desk before looking up at you.

"I don't understand. I followed every instruction and even included charts to make it easier to understand." you explained, slightly offended that he was questioning your hard work.

You worked hard on that report, and he knew how much. Was he power tripping you now?

"That's the thing, you followed every instruction. Sometimes you have to make certain changes, that doesn't mean it's automatically wrong as long as the outcome is the same." Bucky explained.

You narrowed your eyes at him. He was insinuating something and you knew exactly what it was. You preferred not to focus on it and straightened up, trying to play it cool.

"I don't get it." you shook your head, crossing your arms over your chest.

Bucky heaved out sigh, "Come take a look. I'll show you where you went wrong." he said, raising his eyebrow at you, his tongue darting out to lick his bottom lip.

Oh no. Oh fucking no. He was giving you the look. You tried not to falter and maintained your professional behavior. Slowly, you walked around his desk until you stood beside him.

"See this part? Too detailed, I don't need to know about this. I just want to see the results." Bucky explained casually.

"Another thing is the graph you made. It's good, but again, too many details. You see this?" Bucky asked, glancing up at you.

You squinted your eyes, not wanting to stand too close to Bucky. Even from where you were, his perfume was invading your senses. It reminded you of all the times that scent was all that you could smell, especially whenever Bucky was on top of you, fucking your brains out. Or whenever he took you from behind, his face buried into your neck and—

"Are you listening?" Bucky asked.

You cleared your throat, "Yes." you immediately responded.

"Here, take a look at what I'm talking about." Bucky said, casually placing a hand on the small of your back as you bent down to look at your report closely.

It's as if everything happened so fast. You were trying to see what Bucky was talking about when you heard his chair screech against the floor, followed by his strong hands gripping your waist, pulling you down to sit on his lap.

You gasped out loud when you felt his hard cock against your ass. A slight whimper slipped past your lips when Bucky slightly moved, thrusting his hips upward while his hands on your waist kept you still.

"Bucky, fuck I..." you panted.

And then suddenly, the contact was gone and Bucky was pulling you away from him as he stood up. A shit-eating grin plastered on his face as he feigned innocence.

"I'm sorry, I totally forgot. We're supposed to be professional now. That's what you wanted, right?" he asked mockingly, shaking his head and then fixing his suit.

You stood there, gawking at him incredulously at the stunt that he just pulled on you. Did he really just...?

What the fuck?

"Anyway, I want the revised report by my table end of the day tomorrow." he said oh so casually, as if he didn't just pull you down to sit on his fucking lap while he had a damn erection.

He sat back down and continued with his shit as you stood there, disappointed (at yourself actually) and just feeling like a fucking fool.

"I can't believe you just did that." you softly said, turning around to leave.

"Just say you want me and this will all be over." Bucky said.

You looked back at him with a scowl and saw how smug he was staring at you. His lips curled up into a grin, eyes glinting with mischief. You wanted to kiss that fucking smirk off his face, maybe sit on it and ride it until he's out breath, until the skin on your inner thighs burned from how his scruff was scratching against it.

But again, you were too proud to do that.

"Thank you, Mister Barnes. I'll see you tomorrow."

-

What do you call it when a girl is left high and dry? Is there a female version for having blue balls? You needed to know because that was something you've been going through for two weeks now.

Two fucking weeks.

Since that night in Bucky's office, things have gotten worse for you. Bucky wanted you to give in first and damn, he was giving it his fucking all when it comes to making you cave. The man even texted you a shirtless photo of him at the gym. By accident, he said.

And here you thought that the both of you were going to be professional moving forward.

Bucky always teased you whenever he could, made sure that you'd be reminded of the times you spent together. Whether it was with how he spoke or looked at you, he was subtle but he went all out. One time during a meeting, Bucky started to play with his fucking mouse. His middle finger doing things to his scroll wheel, moving back and forth all the while he was staring at you with a sleazy grin.

As if you needed any more reminder how much his fingers felt so much better against your cunt as compared to your own.

-

Friday came quickly and you couldn't be more grateful for it. It had been very busy at the office and Bucky was edging you even without having the need to touch you. You needed a break from him, needed some time to yourself and rethink about the certain decisions you made.

You stood by the elevator, waiting for it to reach your floor when Mark approached you.

"Been a hectic week huh?" he asked, adjusting the strap of his laptop bag on his shoulder.

You sighed, "Very hectic, thank goodness the week is over." you said with a chuckle.

"Any plans for the night?" Mark asked, turning to you.

You shook your head, "Not really. You?"

Mark smiled widely at you, "No plans either. But I do remember you owe me a night at the bar." he reminded you.

You mentally facepalmed because fuck, you totally forgot about that. Mark wasn't so bad actually, he was kind and seemed like a lot of fun to hang out with. You just...you just weren't attractive to him.

Maybe you should give it a try? Just to keep your mind off of Bucky even for a while. That man was driving you insane, honestly.

"Of course, yeah. I remember." you said with an awkward laugh.

"Do you want to go tonight?" he asked at the same time the elevator doors opened.

Lo and behold, Bucky Barnes was inside as well. Fucking hell.

"Mister Barnes." Mark greeted him before gesturing for you to step inside first.

You saw the look that Bucky gave both you and Mark. Suddenly, hanging out with Mark didn't seem like a good idea anymore. You prayed that Mark wouldn't bring it up anymore, at least, while Bucky was inside the elevator.

It felt like you were being ushered into the pits of hell when you stepped inside. Even with Mark's presence, you felt nervous being around Bucky. God knows what this man could do when provoked.

"Anyway, how about tonight?" Mark repeated his question, much to your dismay.

Bucky was standing behind the both of you and yet you could feel his eyes digging holes against the back of your head. He was waiting for your response.

"Come on, you promised me a date." Mark just had to imply.

Bucky coughed and Mark turned to him all of a sudden, "You ever been to the bar down the block, Mister Barnes?" he asked.

"Yes." Bucky curtly responded.

"They serve the best drinks, right? So come on, let me take you there. You won't regret it. What do you think, Mister Barnes?"

Mister Barnes will fucking whoop your ass, Mark, you thought to yourself. You suddenly started sweating bullets, feeling your armpits dampen beneath your blouse because jesus christ, was this really happening? You just wanted for the ground to swallow you up. Should you pretend to faint instead? Just to get out of this awkward situation?

"Yeah, a promise is a promise. Why don't you let Mike take you out tonight?" Bucky said, stepping in between you and Mark.

Mark made a face, "It's actually Mark, Mister Barnes."

Bucky though, kept his attention on you. His expression unreadable but his jaw was tensed. You were so fucked. And not in a good way. He was trying so hard to stay calm but when you glanced down, his hands were balled into fists.

"What do you say to that date with Martin?" Bucky asked again.

Mark lifted a finger, "Mark." he chimed in again.

"Yeah, whatever Michael." Bucky waved him off with his hand before turning back to you. "So, what do you say?"

You swallowed the lump in your throat and looked past Bucky's shoulder to check on Mark, he didn't seem suspicious though. He looked hopeful, actually. But you pitied him because he just made it to Bucky's list of employees to keep an eye on. Aside from Janet, of course.

"I...um..." Fuck it.

"Yeah, okay. A date it is then." you awkwardly said, forcing out the driest laugh you ever produced in your entire life.

Mark excitedly pumped his fist in the air, "Great! Thank you, Mister Barnes. Guess she just needed a little push." he said.

Bucky feigned a smile and nodded, taking a step back from you. "A little push. Yeah, I guess so."

Finally, the elevators reached the ground floor and you were ready to sprint out of it when Bucky said his parting words.

"You enjoy your date with Marty now. Totally nothing unprofessional about dating a co-worker." Bucky told you and before the elevator doors closed, you saw the scowl that appeared on his face.

Shit.

"Mister Barnes is acting weird, don't you think?" Mark asked as the both of you walked out of the building.

You forced a smile and walked ahead of Mark, "Definitely not weird. You know what? I badly need a drink or two, an entire bottle of tequila maybe so let's just go now."

As if on cue, your phone buzzed and the message that showed up made you want to stop in the middle of the street, lay down on your back and await your demise.

You're playing a dangerous game. Well, two can play at that.

-

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[sserpente]

A/N: Requests from three anons. Naughty, naughtier, naughtiest. Enjoy, everyone!

Words: 2426 Warnings: shameless Christmas smut

Additional NSFW warnings: dom!Loki, usage of anal sex toy, orgasm control, forced orgasm(s)

-

Feeling all warm and fuzzy, you snuggled in closer to your mischievous boyfriend. After three weeks of persistent persuasion, you had finally talked Loki into watching Christmas movies with you and to be quite frank, you were convinced he secretly enjoyed them.

A comedy was on tonight, of a young couple suffering from the usual pre-Christmas stress including eccentric in-laws and turkeys burnt to a cinder. You had been giggling throughout, knowing very well it was a rather accurate representation of how chaotic Christmas could be. In fact, you could hardly wait for this year, given it would be Loki’s and your first time celebrating it together as a couple.

“I recall you telling me that those sex scenes in films are staged unless you watch a… what was it?”

“Porn movie?”

“Yes. I must admit, she is terrible at staging it.” You quirked an eyebrow at him.

“She is doing it on purpose. She is faking her orgasm.” You explained, staring at the screen. The male protagonist was wearing a Santa hat and a fake white beard—nothing else. He had surprised his girlfriend who had just gotten home from a long and exhausting day at work and even though she appreciated it, she was just too tired for sex.

“Why in the nine would she do that? That is rather pathetic for the male part.”

You blushed. You too had faked your orgasms sometimes when you were in bed with Loki.

“Um… well… she doesn’t want to hurt his feelings. You know women take longer to get there and sometimes… they’re just too tired or not in the right mind set.” You yawned. “Much like today.” You added.

Loki paused the movie with but a wave of his hand and turned to face, looking you dead in the eye. “Are you implying something?” Oh, shit… you had a feeling this would bruise his godly ego.

“I… I-I only did it a few times. Once or twice. Okay, maybe a little bit more often than that. B-but that doesn’t mean I don’t ever—“

“You are what?” He bellowed. There we go.

“Loki! Listen to me, you are the most mind-blowing lover I’ve ever had. It’s like I just said, sometimes I’m too tired or have so much going on at work that I can’t let go… it’s got nothing to do with you!” You insisted.

“That is unacceptable.” He said after an uncomfortable break.

“W-what does that mean?”

Loki gave you a meaningful look. His tone was downright spiteful when he spoke again. “Let’s just finish the movie, shall we?”

You were a little surprised he let you cuddle with him again but you couldn’t focus on the film anymore anyway.

“Are you… mad at me?” You chirped after a while, your cheek against his chest, listening to his rapid heartbeat.

“No. I am not.” You were not convinced. He was up to something.

-

The next morning started all but merry. You woke Loki with a few wet kisses, quietly singing O Christmas Tree to elicit a response.

Loki groaned, a smile playing on his lips. He didn’t need a lot of sleep but he truly didn’t like being woken up by anyone but his own body when it deemed him rested enough.

You giggled, his raven hair tickling your skin. You barely made it out of bed to open the very last door of your advent calendar and then moved to get dressed. As usual, Loki was a lot faster, simply magicking clothes onto his body without so much as blinking.

You were late. The Avengers were probably already waiting for you in the living room where Tony had put up a massive Christmas tree. And massive it was—it stood almost twenty feet high, about six metres, as far as you were concerned, and the billionaire had had to use his suit to hang up all the baubles and ornaments as well as the shining star on top. And before you had gone to sleep last night, you had sneaked your presents for everyone under the tree.

You bit your lower lip, hoping that Loki wasn’t still taken aback by your involuntary confession last night. You had meant what you had said. He was an amazing lover but sometimes… you just weren’t feeling it but still didn’t want to disappoint him or let him down. A sigh escaped your lips.

“Come on, Trickster, let’s see what Santa brought.”

“Hold up.” Loki said. “Turn around for me.”

You raised your eyebrows, not expecting anything out of the ordinary. So you did as you were told and gasped when he forced you to bend over so your upper body came to rest on the bed again, your backside in plain view for him to admire.

“Hey! Loki!” You giggled during your weak protest, then bit your lower lip. Did he want to… now? Hmm… Christmas morning sex. Your heartbeat sped up as you wiggled your behind a bit, arousal already pooling between your legs.

You heard him chuckle behind you but instead of his hard cock at your wet entrance, you suddenly felt something hard and cold press against your back entrance.

“L-Loki…” You had tried toys of the like before, especially right before sex and you had enjoyed it very much but now was definitely not the time. You were about to head downstairs to the Christmas tree, exchanging presents and having a hearty breakfast with the Avengers, there was no way you were going to…

You gasped when he slid the clearly lubed plug into your rear, and it went in with little resistance. Loki knew your body so well it almost scared you. That, and you were already soaking wet and responsive to your butthole being pampered in such a way.

“Hmm… are we enjoying ourselves?” Loki mused, smirking as he led you over to the mirror to let you admire his work. The plug was a little bigger than what you were using for sex but still oddly comfortable to wear. What stood out the most to you, however, was the fact it was golden, with a green jewel attached to it and decorating your buttocks. “You are positively dripping, my dear.”

You bit your lower lip once more, mouth all of a sudden completely dry.

“It looks hot and beautiful at the same time.” You admitted, meeting his blue eyes in the mirror.

“Consider it a Christmas gift.” He said with a wink. Your eyes widened when he slid your comfy trousers back on and turned to leave the room.

“Hang on there. What are you doing?”

Loki tilted his head, playing innocent. “I am meeting my brother and his silly friends for Christmas.”

“W-what… oh my goodness. This is about last night, isn’t it? You want revenge, is that right?”

Loki smirked. “I have no idea what you are talking about, my love. Now… let us head downstairs, shall we?” You only glared at him in response, tensing up when his hand wrapped around your arm and stopped you in the threshold. “You will regret it dearly if you secretly try to take this out before I allow you to do so.” He hissed into your ear. Your walls clenched. This was certainly going to be your most interesting Christmas yet.

-

You had been right indeed. Crouching down to get the presents out from under the tree proved extremely difficult wearing a butt plug—at least, it proved extremely difficult to not moan in front of everyone.

Loki’s smirk never faltered, not even when he received your present and thanked you with a passionate kiss right in front of the Avengers. If only they knew… you had no idea what else Loki had in store for you once the two of you were alone again.

Christmas dinner posed as equally difficult. Sitting calmly at the table, enjoying the delicious turkey and treats and conversing without wiggling around like a child was nearly impossible. For the first time ever, you were glad when the festivities were over and you could finally retreat to bed, hoping that Loki would fuck your brains out before you fell asleep tonight.

You stood in front of him, arms akimbo when his clothes melted off of his body and he threw back the covers of the bed to get comfortable when you returned from the bathroom.

“Are you serious? Loki!”

“Oh dear… I almost forgot.” He lied, once again smirking like a cat that got the cream. “Lie down, little minx. Tell me, are you aching?” He teased, chuckling darkly.

“No!” You spat sarcastically, unable to hide your amusement. “I have been horny all day, you tease!”

“Have you now?” He was grinning now. Your heart skipped a beat when he snapped his fingers and then pointed at the bed for you to lie down. At this point, you did not even want to pretend to resist and be bratty for a bit.

Eager for your release (and knowing fully well this was his vengeance) you climbed on the mattress and gaped up at him with anticipation. But Loki took his time. Slowly and while eyeing you like a wild predator he joined in bed, tugging at your clothes in the process.

“Take them off.” He growled. You were panting when you did as you were told, all until you were completely naked except for the butt plug still snugly inside of your rear. A squeal escaped your lips when he lunged at you with a start, grabbing your hips and pulling you into a lying position. His scrutinising and downright lustful gaze never left yours as he sneaked his hand between your legs, right where you wanted him the most and dipped a finger in your folds.

“My… you are gushing.” You bucked your hips up against him, too impatient to listen to him talk dirty like that but his hand was already travelling upwards again, fingertips ghosting over your skin and leaving a trail of goose bumps behind. You gasped when he circled your left breast and played with your already hardening nipple until you were whimpering for him.

“Loki, please…” You begged, biting your lower lip to appear innocent. The God of Mischief chuckled.

“So desperate?” He uttered, fingers returning to your cunt. You shivered when his thumb ghosted over your clit, giving it a gentle stroke. You had been on edge all day it would not at all take you long to finally be granted your long-awaited relief, even less so when Loki buried two of his long fingers inside you without any forewarning, curling them to massage your g-spot and circling your impatient clit with his thumb. His fingers were magic. No, he was magic. If only the world knew what a skilled lover Loki was they would change their mind about him being a megalomaniac villain and shower him with affection and fanmerch instead.

Moaning, you threw your head back, meeting the thrusts of his digits by bucking your hips hungrily. Loki could tell you were close already. You were tightening around his fingers, your breathing so fast he feared you might lose consciousness.

A satisfied growl escaped his lips when you came, milking his fingers as endless waves of pleasure rolled over your body, making you moan his name. Only Loki did not stop once all the bliss slowly started to fade away, your clit complaining about the ongoing stimulation.

“Again. Now.” Loki growled.

“W-what?”

“I want another. How can I be sure you truly came, after all?” He mused. You groaned. So it was revenge after all. He knew exactly you had come.

“I d-did… w-what… I can’t… Loki… oh, fuck…” He knew you could. He knew your body could. Still fingering you relentlessly, he tossed you straight into another hot orgasm as his thumb returned to your clit. Your back arched, fingers digging into the bed sheets as you clenched rhythmically around his long digits. Heavens, it felt even more intense with the butt plug still snugly inside of you.

“L-Loki… stop… s-stop, please…” You breathed, unable to form a proper sentence.

“Oh no, my dear… you can give me one more. Just so I can be completely sure.” He replied hoarsely, knowing that you could take it and would react differently if you truly had enough. It was the mix of pleasure and your strong feelings for him that made your mind turn like a spinning wheel, unable to stop or escape the tornado of emotions and relentless bliss. So he kept going, tormenting your already overstimulated bundle of nerves until your toes curled.

“Don’t you ever dare fake an orgasm with me again.” He growled into your ear, his hot breath brushing against your skin. Pleasant shivers ran up and down your spine, yet you were unable to answer him. Instead, you wrapped your arms around him and dug your nails into his back, pulling his upper body closer to yours to urge him on, his name leaving your lips like a prayer as he brought you to a third orgasm making you see stars.

Panting, it took you quite a while to come down from your high again as Loki helped you ride out your climax before finally removing his now slick fingers and licking them clean with relish. When he made no move to position himself between your legs and get some relief himself, you let your head fall back into the soft pillows, making Loki chuckle.

“No falling asleep just yet, my love. Let me remove the jewel from that lovely behind of yours first.” Your eyes fell shut nonetheless, an acknowledging sound the only form of communication you could still muster as you let Loki gently take out the plug. You would have drifted off to sleep there and then, without a blanket, if Loki didn’t scoop you up like a cherished bride and wrapped you under the covers before cradling you in his arms.

“I’m so sorry, Loki.” You muttered, eyes still shut tiredly.

“Whatever for?”

“I never meant to offend you when I faked, I just wanted you to have your fun even when I wasn’t in the mood.”

“I know. Don’t lie to me again. Ever. There is no point for me to take pleasure from you if I am unable to return the favour.”

You smiled. You really had the most amazing boyfriend in the world. Well… which was probably because he was in fact, not from this world. No Christmas present could ever compete.

-

A/N: If you enjoyed this story, I would appreciate it so much if you considered supporting me on Kofi! It’s either for caffeine or red wine, I’ll take both. ko-fi.com/sserpente ♥

[nctsworld]

fire alarm

✩ mark x reader | college au | fluff | 1.7k 

SUMMARY ⇾ when your dorm building’s fire alarm goes off in the middle of the night and everyone’s outside, you offer to share your blanket with your shivering, cute neighbour. WARNINGS ⇾ fluff, couple of swear words RATING ⇾ teen+ 

⇾ gif created by me, please don’t repost or share without credit!

You started to drift into deep sleep when the sudden blares of the dorm’s fire alarm stirs you awake. 

Your groans are muffled in your pillow, frustrated that this is probably another false alarm like usual. With heavy eyes, you rush to grab your phone and keys, stuff your feet into your shoes, and waddle among the crowd of students, departing the building with your blanket over your shoulders as a make-shift jacket.   

The moment you reach the front of the building where everyone safely coalesces, you glance at your phone as you tug at the ends of your blanket around your chest. 3:08am glows back at you, along with a couple other notifications. You barely get the chance to check them since the blatant chattering of teeth nearby catches your attention instead. 

Your gaze rests on the familiar figure a few steps beside you, rubbing his arms up and down while his legs tremble. Peering around, you realize you’re one of the few who brought more than a jacket for extra warmth during this chill, autumn night. On the other hand, he’s one of the few who hardly had any layers, solely wearing a baggy red t-shirt and a pair of boxers. 

His face swivels side to side, searching the crowd, and it dawns on you that it’s none other than your next door neighbour, Mark. 

His dorm room was to the left of yours. You’ve only interacted with him in passing, regularly acknowledging each other with casual nods and smiles. His sweet smile never failed to make your heart race and to make the corners of your mouth widen further. You didn’t know much about him, except for the fact he played guitar since you occasionally heard him play late at night. 

You always wanted to get to know him, but neither of you shared the same classes nor were you in the same clubs. To make matters worse, the only time you saw one another was when either of you were coming or going.

Perhaps now was the time to finally make a move. 

Lifting your blanket off the pavement, you shuffle your way towards him. As you near him, it clicks in your head that you didn’t initially recognize him because, besides the lack of clothes and the slightly messy hair, he’s wearing glasses to boot. 

“Hey, neighbour.”  

Mark stops his searching and his focus lands on you. The handsome individual steps closer to shorten the space between you, displaying his signature smile. You grip onto your blanket tighter and the weight of your shoulders droop, allowing your face to shyly sink into the sea of fabric covering you. 

The shivering man says your name and replies with a cool, “Hey.” 

“Do you want to share the blanket with me?” 

“Oh, no. It’s okay, I’m all right,” he stammers with a shake of his head, continuing to rub his arms.  

You perk an eyebrow and open one of your arms out, offering him the promise of warmth. 

Beaming, you say, “There’s enough room for another.”

His mouth twists to one side of his face, the gears in his head obviously turning. 

“Are you sure?”       

A hum, nod, and a grin answer his uncertainty. Mark swiftly grasps onto the end of the blanket and wraps himself over his shoulder. Although the heat from the front of your body flees due to the partial sacrifice of your cover, you’re now having an extra source of heat from being right next to Mark, touching shoulder to shoulder. 

“Thanks,” he bobs his head. “I appreciate it. I just bolted out of bed and didn’t think of even bringing a jacket.” 

“That’s okay, that’s why you have me,” you joke, swaying and pressing your shoulder lightly against his. 

Both of you chuckle softly. There’s something else to add to the list of things that are keeping you warm—the prickling rising from your chest to your cheeks. 

You then comment, “I’ve never seen you with glasses before. I almost didn’t recognize you.” 

“Ah, yeah, I wear contacts during the day. Depending on stuff, I sometimes wear my glasses, but not as often.” 

“Well, I think you look good either way.” 

Your eyes practically fall and roll away from your head, cognizant of the words that just escaped your mouth. 

“I mean—” You snap your eyes shut for an extended beat, not wanting to see the look on your next door crush’s face. “You know what, let’s just pretend I didn’t say that out loud.” 

Exhaling a lengthy sigh, you turn to face the opposite direction, now regretting your offer to share your blanket with him. 

Your regret leads you to miss the way his face lights up. 

“Hey, no, thanks for the compliment.” 

Under the blanket, his fingers gingerly graze over yours for a fleeting moment, which causes you to shift your head towards him again. The tips of your noses are almost touching. His twinkling eyes are locked on you, but yours are veering everywhere else except on him. 

“If it makes you feel any better, I think you look good too.” 

With that, your gaze finally lands on Mark.  

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” 

You want to continue the conversation, you really do, but you’re at a loss of words and are too busy getting lost in the galaxy of his eyes from up-close. From the way he’s not tearing his eyes away either, a little part of you wonders if he harbours an infatuation with you as well. He couldn’t possibly, right? 

Despite being practically strangers, the silent, intense aura blooms as time passes. Your respective breaths brush against each other’s lips and it’d be so easy to just lean in to meet the other’s—

Suddenly, the tension is cut short as everyone begins to sluggishly amble their way back into the building. 

Although nothing really transpired, you break apart simultaneously like someone caught you two doing something you shouldn’t. Mark lets you have your blanket all to yourself once more and both of you head back side by side in comfortable silence.  

After walking up the flight of stairs, trailing behind all the other residents of the building, you finally reach your respective doors. 

“It was nice to see you,” you say, pulling your keys out and inserting the fitting one into your lock. 

“Yeah, thanks for sharing your blanket with me. I really appreciate it.” 

“Anytime, neighbour,” you glance up at him from your hand. His whole body faces you and his mouth is agape like he’s itching to say something. On second thought, he presses his lips together and feels around his body for his keys. Realization hits him in the face. 

“Shit,” he bangs his forehead against the door, deterring you from entering your home abode. “I forgot my keys inside.” 

Mark turns to you with a scrunched face. Even in a state of frustration, how could someone be so cute? “Sorry to ask, but can I borrow your phone?” 

“Oh, yeah. Of course.” You don’t hesitate to scramble and hand it over to him. 

He mumbles a quick thanks, rubbing the back of his head. When he finishes entering a number to dial-in, he holds the phone against his ear and leans the side of head against his door, still facing you. You stand there awkwardly, eyes wavering between the adorable phone borrower and the handful of people in the hallway trickling back into their dorms. 

After the third unanswered ring, a bold offer impulsively escapes your lips.  

“You know, you can stay at my place overnight if you need to.” 

Oh, no. Shit. Why brain, why?

You don’t register your brazenness until the fifth ring, when Mark’s jaw is hanging and his eyebrows are glued to the ceiling. Okay, maybe you can save the moment by saying it was a joke or—

“Hello?” you overhear a muffled grumble on the other end. 

The shock dissolves away from his face. “Oh, hey. Sorry to wake you, Johnny. It’s Mark…” 

Utter embarrassment. This time, you can’t save yourself from your impetuous words. Millions of possibilities run through your mind, including abandoning your phone for him to keep and then moving to another building. No, moving to another college. Actually, Mars sounds like an even better idea. 

You’re so deep in your overdramatic thoughts, your face in a pinch behind your blanket, that you don’t even realize Mark’s already done with his call. 

“Thanks.” His voice breaks you away from your thoughts, eyelids shooting open. He must’ve stepped closer while you weren’t looking because he’s now in front of you, dangling your device from his fingertips. You gently grasp the phone, jointly holding it with him. 

“And about your offer…” You cringe, ready for him to ignore your existence until the end of time. You officially ruined everything, and nothing has even happened yet. 

“How about we go on a date first?” 

Your head shoots up at his proposition. Did you hear that right? 

“Then, maybe when the fire alarm goes off again next time and I forget my keys, I’ll take you up on it.”

It could be because it’s almost 4am and you’re teetering on sleep, or you’re purely stricken, but all you could do is nod mindlessly and squeak, “Sure.”    

A heartstopping smile rolls over his face. “I was hoping you’d say that. I took the liberty of adding myself to your contacts and sent a text to my phone.” 

Mark releases your phone from his grip and begins to walk backwards towards the stairs, suppressing his desire to stay with you for a little while more. But, it’s late and it’s not like this was the last time he’d see you. You are neighbours after all. 

Waving, he whisper-shouts in the hallway, “I’ll text you back first thing when I can. Have a good night!” 

You subtly wave back, still huddling your blanket over your shoulders. When he disappears from your line of sight, you enter your room and flop onto your bed with a jubilant sigh. 

Following knocks at his door, a slit-eyed Johnny is welcomed by a vivacious friend. Too vivacious for 4am. 

“Dude, you won’t believe what just happened. Remember that cute neighbour I’ve been telling you about?...” 

Maybe (and thankfully) there wasn’t an actual fire, but another one was certainly beginning to kindle. 

And neither of you had the intention of extinguishing it any time soon. 

[fruitcoops]

I think it would be really interesting for leo and sirius to talk ab how they both didn’t go to college and how they both joined the nhl at 18 but had v different upbringings

Ooo, I like this one! I’m always down for some Cap and Knutty bonding. SW credit goes to @lumosinlove!

TW for mentioned bad parenting

“Kinda weird, isn’t it?” Leo said, breaking the nighttime silence after many long minutes of just their breathing. Sirius hummed in question. “Starting all this so young.”

Sirius made a noncommittal noise and Leo shifted, never taking his eyes off the sky. There was too much light pollution to see the stars properly in Gryffindor, but the roof of the rink didn’t have a bad view; the planes flying overhead brought pinpricks of brightness to the indigo blur.

“Was it hard for you?”

He heard Sirius’ coat move. “Was what hard?”

“Starting the NHL at eighteen.”

There was a long beat of silence. “Sometimes.”

“I didn’t know if I would make it,” Leo confessed, still barely above a murmur. Nobody else was around, but it didn’t feel right to talk in normal voices. The whole world was muted, save for the noise of the city below them. “There was just so much to do.”

Sirius laughed softly. “I hate to break it to you, rookie, but that doesn’t change.”

“How do you deal with it?”

“Before, or now?”

Leo thought for a moment. “Both.”

“Before, I would go home and shoot pucks until I was too tired to stand up. Sometimes I would read.” It wasn’t a secret, but it still made Leo’s heart hurt to remember. Nobody as kind and hardworking as Sirius deserved that. “Now, I make myself some food, take a shower, and steal Re’s softest hoodie.”

Leo could hear his smile in the dark—it echoed his own. “Nothing better, huh?”

“Nope.”

“Finn’s fit me best,” he mused. “But Lo’s smell better.”

“Ah, he finally discovered deodorant?”

“Shut up,” Leo teased, elbowing his ribs. Sirius laughed a little louder; in the light of the streetlamps and the absence of his granite-hard focus, it was easy to remember that he was only 26. Leo had worshipped him as a kid, but now he just saw Sirius for what he was. His captain, who guided him through the playoffs even when his personal life was crumbling apart. His older brother, though Sirius certainly wouldn’t think of him that way. His friend.

“Really, though, it’s important to have those connections,” Sirius said when they both calmed down. “Being alone is good, but only if you know you have people to talk to when you need them.”

“Was it easier when you weren’t living with someone?”

“No.” The answer was immediate.

“Sometimes I want the apartment to myself.” Leo lowered his voice unconsciously, then sighed. “It’s not because I don’t want them there. I just need to be alone. Wash the dishes. Clean my room. Call my mom.”

“You should tell them.”

He turned his head slightly; Sirius was still scanning the sky. “Is that what you did?”

“It took a couple hiccups, but yeah. If one of us needs some alone time, the other will go to the grocery store or take a walk, maybe hang out with friends. You just have to make sure your boys know that it’s not personal.”

“You’re freakishly good at sage advice.”

Sirius snorted. “Merci, rookie.”

“I’m not a rookie anymore.”

“Yeah, you are.” He raised his hands, as if outlining a marquee. “The Eternal Rookie, starring Leo Knut.”

Leo stuck his tongue out, feeling rather petulant about the whole thing. “Watch it, Cap, I’m gonna sic Dumo on you.”

“My own father?” Sirius gasped dramatically. “How could you?”

“Did you ever get homesick?”

The question was out of the blue—he didn’t blame Sirius for faltering. Honestly, Leo was kicking himself for asking in the first place, though he had been keeping it in for ages. Unspoken rule of the Lions #1: Don’t ask Cap about his childhood.

“I…” Sirius fell silent once more.

“I’m sorry,” Leo apologized, and he meant it. “That came out of nowhere.”

“I missed Regulus,” Sirius continued carefully without acknowledging him. “But no, I didn’t get homesick. I didn’t have time, or a real reason.”

Alone in a new city, finally out of a horrible living situation, but desperately missing the little brother he left behind… Leo couldn’t even begin to imagine going through it when the NHL by itself was already overwhelming to his teenage brain. He scooted an inch closer until their shoulders touched. “I get homesick every couple of months.”

“You have a kind family.”

“Have you even met them?”

“At the party.” Sirius’ smile was practically audible. “Your mother was very excited to see me.”

“Oh, god,” Leo groaned. “What happened?”

“She—“ He broke off with a laugh. “She was very nice, I promise, but I think I surprised her because she squeaked when I said ‘hello’.”

Leo shook his head. “Did you sneak up on her?”

“I’m six two, I can’t sneak up on anyone!”

“You walk like a fucking ghost, dude! It’s creepy!”

“Okay, rude.”

“I swear, you and Loops need to be belled like cats,” Leo huffed.

They lapsed back into comfortable quiet for a few more minutes as a train rattled past on one side and the metro busses rolled down Main Street on the other. It had taken Leo a long time to figure out Gryff’s layout, and even longer to get used to the sounds of the city.

“What does it feel like?”

Leo blinked, unsure if he had heard correctly. “What?”

“Being homesick.” Sirius shifted again and folded his hands over his stomach. “I didn’t notice much of a difference in practices when I started the NHL, and going back to my parents’ house wasn’t my exactly a highlight of my year.”

Curiosity overrode his tact and reasoning skills. “You never asked Logan?”

“Non. It was different, with him. He had already left to go to college before I knew him, and spent four years away from his family.”

“Right.” Leo forgot about that on occasion. That Finn and Logan might be five years older than him, but they had only been rookies a year or two prior. Not everyone went straight from their city select team to an official draft. “It’s hard to describe.”

Sirius made an understanding noise, but he couldn’t entirely mask his disappointment. Leo licked his lips and tried again.

“It’s like a piece of you isn’t where it’s supposed to be. And it keeps tugging on your chest, but you never know when it’s going to start and stop so you just… deal with it. You ignore it some days and you think about it other days.” He swallowed around the lump in his throat. “The hard days are when you remember you can’t go back to the way things were before. I don’t even call my mom sometimes, ‘cause I know it’ll make me sadder.”

“The way things were before?”

“Yeah, like—like all my classmates are in college, and I’m laying on a roof with one of the most famous hockey players in the history of forever.” That drew a light laugh from them both. “I’m gonna go back to my reunion in a couple years and have literally nothing in common with the people I used to be friends with.”

“Sometimes I wish I went to college,” Sirius said. “But I would have missed so much if I did. I don’t think I would have been happy there.”

“Finn and Logan get weird about college.” Maybe he shouldn’t be talking about it, but Leo had the feeling none of their conversation would leave the rooftop. “It was hard for them, with all their shit.”

“Re does, too.” He recognized the sad edge in Sirius’ voice; it was the same as his own. “For a different reason. It started good, and ended bad.”

“I’m glad I missed out on that,” Leo said, biting down the urge to scream at the universe for putting their significant others through so much hardship at an already-difficult time. None of them deserved the pain they went through. “Besides, it’s not like we need degrees to play hockey, and we’ll have plenty of money afterward.”

“I never thought about my life after hockey until my ankle.”

“My parents always pushed me to make sure I wanted to do the NHL instead of more school.”

“You’re lucky to have them.”

“I wish you did.”

The words hung suspended between them before Leo could swallow them back down, somehow dangerous and calming at the same time. It wasn’t like he had never thought about it before; he just hadn’t said it out loud. The first time he had seen Sirius’ parents across the rink had given him a case of the heebie-jeebies so strong he had to shower twice. All the times after that just made him angry.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” Sirius’ voice was quiet, but not upset. “You’re not the first person to say it. I’m glad you feel like you can be honest with me.”

Leo frowned. “Well, yeah. Obviously.”

“I try really hard to not be an asshole captain, so it actually does mean a lot.”

“I don’t think you could be an asshole if you tried.”

The barking laugh that split the night startled Leo so bad he nearly jumped out of his skin; Sirius clapped a hand over his mouth, though he was still snickering. “Sorry, sorry, I just—holy shit, I forgot you didn’t know me before. Mon dieu.”

“You weren’t that bad,” Leo protested. “Pots said you used to be grumpier, but that’s it.”

Sirius shook his head, wiping tears of mirth from his eyes. “I was such a dick. There’s not a single picture of the whole team where I’m smiling for about two years and I was such a stickler for the rules.”

Leo gaped at him. “You followed rules?”

“To the fucking letter. It was awful.”

“What happened?”

Sirius shrugged. “I got friends. Idiot friends who did things like showing me the easiest way onto the roof. Pots used to drag me up here every Friday.”

“Really?”

“Ouais.” Mischief flitted over his face. “He skipped date night with Lily once on accident, and she tracked us up here like a bloodhound. It was terrifying.”

“What did you do?” Lily was one of the nicest people Leo knew, but he knew better than to get on her bad side.

“Lied to her face while James hid behind that strobe light.”

“Did it work?”

“Are you kidding?” he snorted. “She called me a liar and suggested getting a better best friend. That was after she told James he’s better have something nice planned for their next date if he ever wanted to get in her pants again.”

“And yet you didn’t listen to her.” Leo tsked. “Of all the people on the team, you chose the hot mess.”

“Trust me, rookie, James had his whole life figured out compared to me.”

“Did you…” Leo trailed off and but his lip. He had pushed his luck a lot already; who knew if one more question would be the tipping point? “Did you ever think about coming out? Even just to Pots.”

Sirius didn’t hesitate. “After every single game.”

“For seven years?”

“Up until the day those pictures were leaked. Even more after Re and I were together.”

“How old were you when you knew?”

“13. You?”

Leo exhaled slowly. “I’m not sure. I think I had an idea of it as a kid, but didn’t really get it until I was in high school. My parents were even more worried about the NHL after I told them.”

“They worry a lot about you.”

“Only child, and I was going for a wildly unstable career path with no guarantee that I would ever see the ice.”

“They’re proud of you. More than you know.” Sirius’ watch beeped. “It’s ten o’clock. Are you supposed to be home?”

“I should probably make sure my boys haven’t burned down the apartment.” Neither of them made an attempt to move. “Can we do this again sometime?”

“Of course.”

You’re like a brother to me, he wanted to say. I don’t know who else I can talk to like this. “Thank you.”

“Any time. We don’t have to do extra practice beforehand, either.”

Leo nudged him gently. “You’re the best captain ever.”

“You’re the best rookie, rookie.”

“I’m not a rookie.”

“Yeah, you are.”

Yeah, I am, he thought as they laid side-by-side in silence once more with the past behind them and the future ahead. And if I end up like you, it means I did something right.

[petewentzisblack1312]

I just went through the worst manic phase of my life (like I’ve never been actually manic like that i mainly experience hypomania which I’ve enjoyed as a respite from the depressive episodes and the ways to get shit done) but this shit was terrible, like to the point that my coworkers noticed and were concerned and my mom would not get in a car with me driving (and my mom with no psych background at all described me as manic). Like I could not get shit done or focus and I was so irritable and hyperactive and I could not keep still and I could not get my brain to stop moving and I could not sleep without ambien (which idk if it’s making me worse I have to meet with my doctor)

But anyway I never understood MANIA better than now like Pete fucking Did That like that album is a manic episode. Especially young and menace like the “we’ve gone way too fast for way too long” and the “I forgot what I was losing my mind about” and also Stay Frosty with “even at the best of times I’m out of my mind” and sunshine riptide with “I don’t even have my own attention” like this shit was my lifeline this week. I have since dropped down hard into a depressive phase so that’s when I turn to MCR but fuck like Pete really did just put mania into words in a way that not a lot of artists have (only other that comes to mind is Halsey). I think mania is so hard to write about because 1) it’s not something many people experience and 2) it’s really just so hard to describe and make art about that people would want to listen to you know? Even young and menace like it’s purposefully hard to listen to I feel like because a manic phase is hard to be in and like my brain felt like that chopped chorus the entire time I was manic and somehow that felt soothing to listen to at the time lol

I also really like the way you’ve analyzed it how the love songs are love songs to the mania like half the reason I’ve never really talked to my doctor about it is because I don’t want to lose the manic episodes but I’ve felt like I’ve been losing my mind recently cause I keep oscillating back and forth so. It’s time.

But yeah MANIA is so good and I hate how people think it’s about him being happy now. Mania ≠ happiness and I feel like people aren’t really listening to the lyrics 🙃

im really sorry you went/are going through a manic episode. like i know it feels kinda amazing while youre in it sometimes but it also feels like the worst thing ever. its contradictory like that. im glad youre seeking help. even hypomania can be dangerous sometimes, even though it feels good to finally be productive and have energy after a depressive episode. i will say that the thing about being treated for bipolar disorder is that you dont just lose the mania, you lose the depression too. i mean you dont completely lose either, treating mental illnesses is more about management than curing them, but i find that while i dont have the severe high energy i can do anything and everything phases, i also dont have the severe physical inability to feel anything except numbness. it mostly made me more balanced and more in control.

that being said, yeah. MANIA is an album about mania and it shows. like, i still think the phrase sunshine riptide is the best description of a manic episode ive ever heard. i think another part of the reason people dont write about mania more is the very thing you said about how people think its about being happy. like people dont really truly understand what mania is. it doesnt sink in how little control you have. it takes self awareness to recognize that your feeling of euphoria is destroying your life, and i think theres so much emphasis on productivity and moving forward that people dont question how healthy (or unhealthy) mania truly is. part of the reason a lot of people who experience mania cling to it so much is the pressure from people and systems around them to be productive, so its no wonder that people fall in love with their mania, which is why i really like the interpretation of mania as a toxic lover. i cant lie, its intoxicating. when the alternative is frustrating inability, being struck with the desire to do everything you want to do feels fucking good. i think a lot of lyrics on MANIA reflect that (take all your possibilities and take away the limits). then theres lyrics that encapsulate the distractedness, the way "i dont even have my own attention" ("i was about to say something that would solve all our problems but then i got drunk and forgot what i was talking about." kind of marries these two points) and then theres the obsessiveness to your own detriments (ive got dreams of my own but i want to make yours come true). like its just a slideshow of a manic episode, and it does so so. i dont want to say elegantly, because just by the nature of the album and the way it explores its themes, its not at all elegant. but it does so effectively. perfectly.

anyway, im glad you like my analysis! i hope you feel better, and i hope you find the treatment thats best for you.

[helliontherapscallion]

Phantasmagoria (Adrenaline Junkie Part 16)

Part 1     Part 2     Part 3     Part 4     Part 5     Part 6     Part 7     Part 8     Part 9     Part 10     Part 11     Part 12     Part 13     Part 14     Part 15     Part 17

Spotify Playlist (collaborative)

Warnings: swearing, mentions of injuries, death, depersonalization, grief

REMINDER: you are real. the topics discussed in this is fiction and not reality. you are loved and valid, hydrate and eat 3 meals a day <3

Word count: 2,645

You were in and out of it for the next few days. Whenever your eyes would crack open and you would even slightly move your arm, you would be in immense pain before you would pass out again. You could sometimes hear the voices of your family talking to you, but never Arthur. Good, he definitely shouldn’t see you like this. 

Whenever you heard Philza, he would be talking to you about all the journeys he’s been on in his hundreds of years of living. Oh yeah, you found out that he was an immortal being that can’t die. Your brain was too tired and clouded to contemplate it. 

Whenever you heard Technoblade, his monotone and deep voice always eased your worries. It gave you something to focus on; if anything, his voice was the one that cut through the fog the most. He would always recite Greek myths to you, often telling you that you reminded him of a few characters. 

Whenever you heard Wilbur, all you heard was him asking you questions such as ‘how was your day’ or ‘what do you think of someone-so’. He would talk to you as if you were conscious, often having one sided conversations with you. Sometimes he would bring his guitar and compose new songs, asking you if he should keep a lyric or if he should throw it away. 

Whenever you heard Tommy, it broke your weak heart. It was like your little brother was a completely different person; his usually loud and upbeat tone was reduced to a quiet and broken one. He was the one that wouldn’t talk much, instead he would sit with you and eventually after a day or two (you think) of silence he would play his jukebox. But whenever he did talk (which was rare) he would tell you how scared he was seeing you like that on the table. 

As time passed, you could feel yourself slipping deeper and deeper into your subconscious. It was like you were fading away, but you couldn’t fight against it. You wouldn’t fight against it; you could feel your pain fading and it was a great relief. You only wished you could hear your family’s voices before you completely left them, they were fading as well. Eventually, everything slipped into nothingness and you felt… euphoric. 

When you opened your eyes, everything was black. You were sure that you had your eyes open, so why was everything so dark? Was this the afterlife? You expected it to be more… heavenly. However, you weren’t complaining; your entire body felt light and you felt waves of peace waft over you. This was nice. You didn’t have much time to relax while you were living. 

After a while of staring into nothingness and just peacefully floating in one place, you became restless. Sure this was nice, but your hands itched to tinker with something. You’ve never done well with sitting in one place for too long, that’s always been your weakness. You tried to push your body off from anything so you could at least float around, but that proved useless when there was nothing to push off from. When you tried flapping your wings- well, wing- you only succeeded in spinning in circles. At least you thought you were spinning in circles, the inky abyss was unchanging and it was starting to mess with your perception. Your senses felt like they were deprived, but the worst thing about it was the overwhelming silence. 

So, you talked to yourself to fill the ringing silence. You were merely voicing your thoughts, repeating your lessons you’ve taught Arthur over the last few weeks. After a while, you were running out of things to talk to yourself about. So, you sighed and crossed your arms. They were very pale, you were actually dead this time, huh? You could only wait to see your brothers and Arthur when it was their time, hoping that they wouldn’t come to you too soon. It pained you to remember that you would probably never see Philza again, but who knows; the universe has a strange way of working. 

“It’s nice to finally meet you, (y/n).” You screamed at the soft voice that cut through the overwhelming silence and whipped your head around. There stood a woman that looked to be in her early thirties with long black hair and tanned skin. You could not see the upper half of her face as it was covered by a crow mask, however her eyes glowed a bright white. She was smiling at you with melancholy and bittersweet happiness. The two giant white feathered wings sprouted from her back were glowing slightly. The powerful and intense aura that loomed around her was the complete antithesis of the gentle smile she was giving you. 

“Calm down,” she flew over to you and wove her hand in the air. You immediately felt a wave of calm ease over you. “That’s better. You’ve been through so much, my little fledgling.” Her little fledgling? That was something you’ve recently started to call Arthur. 

“Who are you?”

“Oh where are my manners? I’m Kristin, the Goddess of Death. I wish I didn’t have to do this, but I’m here for your life.” You hummed, “that makes sense.” She tilted her head slightly and somehow the eyeholes of the mask morphed into an eyebrow raise. Was that her actual face? “You’re not scared of death?” 

“No, I’ve already died twice- no, three times already. But this is- it’s different. Is that because I’ve lost my last life?”

“You’ll find out in due time. Ender, you’re everything Phil described you as and then some.”

You perked up slightly, “you know my Dad?” Her airy chuckle brought you even more at ease, “of course I do, he’s my husband.”

You gaped at her, “so does that- does that make you my mom?”

“Only if you’re comfortable with it, I wouldn’t want to push you into something you didn’t want.”

“I’ve always wanted a mom. D-don’t get me wrong, Dad’s done more than enough for me he’s an amazing parent-”

“I understand and I’d love to be the mother of someone so smart. You’re destined to do great things one day, my little fledgling.” You tilted your head slightly, “greater than being an inventor?”

She nodded, her black locks swaying with the movement, “greater than being an inventor. Our time together is coming to a close.” She flew over gracefully and pulled you into a hug. You reciprocated it. Her hug felt warm and welcoming. It was hard to believe that she was the Goddess of Death, you always thought Kristin would be ruthless and cruel. 

“You will face many trials and tribulations and you must persevere through them. This is indeed your reality, but you share it. Do not be afraid to ask for help. The world can be a lonely place, but remember that you are never truly alone.” 

She pulled away from you and placed a gentle kiss on your forehead, the beak of her mask poking you. Suddenly, the weightlessness feeling disappeared and you felt a tugging sensation from deep within your chest. Your body was sent flying through the abyss, the gripping sensation you felt in your inner chest felt very intimate somehow. After a bit of screaming, you were still flying through the void. You had no idea how long you were flying for, but eventually you just crossed your arms and went limp in the mysterious embrace. Aaaanny time now. 

Eventually you saw a pinprick of light far off into the distance and it was rapidly approaching you. You sighed out a drawn out “finally.” And watched as it came at you at mach speed. After you crashed into it, everything went white. 

You jolted up with wide eyes and looked around panting. You saw the walls of your childhood room? So you didn’t die? Then what the hell were you doing in the void? You were so sure that you died permanently. That you lost your last life. When you glanced out the window, everything was dark. When you sat up, you felt the familiar tugging sensation of the scar tissue around the base of your wing, except it was less intense and you had less mobility in your right shoulder. You glanced at the hearts on your wrist expecting to see three empty outlines. Instead, two ruby red hearts stared at you.

Impossible. Impossible. You were in your last life so even if you didn’t die, you should still only be in your last life. Your second life was taken from you in an explosion. It should not show up on your wrist. Furrowing your eyebrows, you ignored the sound of the door opening and footsteps rushing towards you. You ignored hands appearing in your vision and hovering unsure above your hand. 

You only looked up when the hand grabbed your wrist and blocked the two perplexing ruby red hearts. You saw Philza with a look of immense relief on his face. “How’re you feeling?”

“I don’t know.” You looked back at your covered wrist and took it out of Philza’s grasp, staring at the two red hearts again in confusion. “I-I should only have one life. Where’s Arthur? Ender, he’s probably so scared. Did you leave my prosthetic in the cave?” Your rapid fire questioning was stopped by a hand on your shoulder. 

“Slow down, you only just respawned.” You threw your hands up in frustration (well, you tried with your right arm, it only moved to about two thirds of your full range of movement before you felt a slight pain and a stretching sensation), “how the hell do I respawn when I was on my last life?” 

“You aren’t-”

“Yes I am! Fuck man, how do you forget that?! First time: Warden. Second time: explosion! I know I just died for the last time, so how am I still here?!” You glared up at him. It astonished you that he just forgot about the first two times you died. Who forgets their own kids’ deaths? It takes a real monster to forget things like that. 

“(Y/n), you’ve only died once and that was because the infection you got was too severe,” he put a gentle hand on your shoulder and pulled you into a hug. You pushed him away and seethed, “How do you not remember! Ender, did the last two and a half years just escape you? You’re fucking immortal, almost three years is nothing to you!” 

“Two and a half- (y/n). Two and a half years ago you were fourteen and you were barely just learning how to do tricks midair.”

“No, I’m twenty years old! How the fuck do you forget your own kid’s age?” 

“You turned seventeen six months ago, (y/n).” 

You ran a frustrated hand through your hair and laughed sardonically, “I’m not dealing with your bullshit right now. Where’s Arthur?” You stood up with shaky legs and swatted his hands away. “I don’t know an Arthur. Please lay back down, you’re-”

“First you forget my deaths, next my age, and now Arthur?! What the actual fuck is wrong with you? Where is he?” You gritted the last sentence out through clenched teeth.

“Who-”

“Curly red hair, freckles, always smiling, about yay high,” you flailed your hand from side to side rapidly at your mid torso, “your grandson. That ring a bell?”

“No because I don’t have a grandson. Sit down, I think I know what’s happening.”

“No. Not until I see Arthur.” You brushed his shoulder as you walked by him and out of the room. You could hear him following behind you, but you ignored him. After you ripped Arthur’s door open, you paused in the doorway. 

The entire room was decorated with Wilbur’s belongings. Instead of random bags of redstone dust and small contraptions that Arthur was too proud of to throw away, piles of sheet music and the occasional book was strewn about. Instead of the poster of you Arthur had hung up on the wall (you had laughed at it at first, he still geeked out over you even though you were his parent), a picture of the family was there. Despite it being a sweet picture (it was one of the very few ones of the family where everybody was smiling at the artist and not moving around), it shook you to your core. “A-Arthur?” You whispered in a broken voice. What was going on, where was he? 

You faintly felt someone put a hand on your shoulder. You however stood frozen clutching the door handle in your hand until you walked over to the nightstand. It was completely barren except for the glasses case sitting near the lamp. This isn’t right, this isn’t right at all. Arthur’s things should be there, not Wilbur’s. 

“No, no, no, no this isn’t right.” You broke off into mumbling while staring at Arthur’s (or Wilbur’s?) nightstand desperately trying to find the feather hidden somewhere. Once again, you felt a hand on your upper arm. “Everything’s right, (y/n).” You said nothing as you stared at the glasses case on the nightstand. “C’mon, let’s go sit down.” You barely registered him leading you gently back to your room and handing you a glass of water. “(Y/n)?” 

“Why is his stuff just- just gone? Everything was there before I left.”

Philza was silent for a moment, his feathers ruffling and brushing against your arm. “...Sometimes when a person’s been through something traumatic and they’re about to die, they sort of… make up their own reality without knowing that they’re doing it. It’s the brain’s way of coping. 

“This reality could last anywhere from a few days to years for them with the events seeming real, but in actuality only a few minutes have passed and nothing that the person thinks happened actually happened. It’s just the person’s subconscious mind playing out scenarios that they think would happen or wished had happened.”

You felt like you were previously walking on a stable sheet of ice before you were plunged into the icy abyss of unknowing. You felt several emotions coursing through your veins ranging from anxiety and frustration to grief and disbelief. The cup of water in your hands became incredibly blurry before you were pulled into his chest. He wrapped his arms and wings around you tightly and held your face securely against his shoulder. He started rocking you back and forth as you felt the tears silently leave your eyes and your breathing shudder. You felt yourself start to sob when a barrage of thoughts came and the reality of the situation hit you.

None of your inventions actually existed.

L’manberg doesn’t exist. 

Your name was unknown.

The last two and a half years were pointless.

Arthur doesn’t exist. 

Your precious Artie, the little boy that idolized you, begged for you to teach him everything you knew, followed you around like a little duckling, held your feather against his chest as he slept, enthusiastically asked you if you could take him flying, your little fledgling, your pride and joy, your son, didn’t fucking exist. You were never going to see his smile again. You were never going to laugh with him as you took him into the clouds. You were never going to cook breakfast with him again. He was never going to give you magnets again. He was never going to ask you to teach him something or ask you to help him with his own inventions. He was gone and there was nothing you could do to get him back. 

“I- I prom-mised him that I’d never leave him.” You sobbed into his shoulder, clutching onto his shirt. “I fucking promised him and I’m never gonna see him again.”

(A/N): ok so a little explanation, chapters 4-mid 15 didn’t actually happen. It was in the reader’s mind as after they passed out in chapter 3. There was foreshadowing (esp in chapter 4, I consider chapter 4 to be the chapter where the brain is getting used to the illusion it set up (hence the title “what is real”)). It explains why the reader couldn’t remember their own death. The line “You were probably still in the cave bleeding out as your delirious mind turned stone into the comforting walls of your home. You were probably imagining hearing your dad’s voice in a last chance to comfort yourself as you neared your impending doom” was pretty self explanatory. In the last chapter, the souls saying “wake up, we need to get you out of here” and “don’t leave me” were Philza’s voice cutting through (”The voices ranged from... familiar to unfamiliar”)

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