nemesis-is-my-middle-name

[nemesis-is-my-middle-name]

in the end it all comes back to aromanticism

[nemesis-is-my-middle-name]

idk i'm just thinking abt the possibility of john... i guess going semi-nonverbal? not wanting to talk to or be heard by anyone other than arthur. because arthur hearing him is normal and comfortable, everyone else is untrustworthy and overwhelming. his thoughts are not for you, stop perceiving them. go away. this (everything) is a private conversation.

[nemesis-is-my-middle-name]

and this whole thing also makes this hit so much harder:

like, i don't know how much arthur actually expected john to take from this. obviously he was there for larson and then kayne needling at john's "true nature," and he's well aware that john wants to be human, but idk if he has the context yet to really understand just how much this subject means to him. and his tone doesn't really indicate a lot of gravity, he says it almost offhandedly, still audibly frustrated.

but like. regardless of what arthur's intentions were. there's just something so gut-wrenching about the fact that right after this fresh betrayal, when he's still very obviously angry and hurt and says he doesn't see a way for john to make up for this—he also says that larson and kayne were wrong. that lashing out in fear or anger doesn't make john incurably monstrous. it just makes him an asshole who needs to work on some stuff. which lots of humans are, every day.

god, this bit becomes so much more painful after 54, actually. knowing exactly how much john has spent all his time since s3 trying so fucking hard to leave the dark world behind, to sheathe his claws and hide his fangs and stop being hastur, the monster who has done so much incalculable harm to his only friend—

only to be told "he was in there, somewhere." that he hasn't changed at all. having other people insist to him that he still secretly wants to be that thing that terrifies him.

the deal from intermezzo, too. kayne specifically saying "once a monster, eh, artie?" saying not just to john himself but also to arthur, the one person he wants more than anything to not hate him, that he is always going to be like this. throwing his own mistakes in his face, telling arthur "i think it's time to reevaluate."

and then there's everything with the witch, obviously. nearly everyone who can hear him directly uses it against him. they push him into a corner and then hold his bite up as evidence that he'll always be the exact same kind of evil. like he's showing his true colors instead of betraying his morals out of fear.

[nemesis-is-my-middle-name]

god, this bit becomes so much more painful after 54, actually. knowing exactly how much john has spent all his time since s3 trying so fucking hard to leave the dark world behind, to sheathe his claws and hide his fangs and stop being hastur, the monster who has done so much incalculable harm to his only friend—

only to be told "he was in there, somewhere." that he hasn't changed at all. having other people insist to him that he still secretly wants to be that thing that terrifies him.

the deal from intermezzo, too. kayne specifically saying "once a monster, eh, artie?" saying not just to john himself but also to arthur, the one person he wants more than anything to not hate him, that he is always going to be like this. throwing his own mistakes in his face, telling arthur "i think it's time to reevaluate."

and then there's everything with the witch, obviously. nearly everyone who can hear him directly uses it against him. they push him into a corner and then hold his bite up as evidence that he'll always be the exact same kind of evil. like he's showing his true colors instead of betraying his morals out of fear.

[nemesis-is-my-middle-name]

Wolonite’s John Doe Kreatureeee💕💕 (I can’t tag them for some reason 🥹)

[nemesis-is-my-middle-name]

the authors open fetish that complements the themes of their work

[nemesis-is-my-middle-name]

Did you know that you can waste your free time by not knowing which activity to do so you do none of them

[nemesis-is-my-middle-name]

one thing abt jarthur+third party pairings or even friendships that i think is interesting and should be explored more is how the third party is absolutely, by definition, never going to be either of their first priority. regardless of if it's like, john/noel and arthur third wheeling for his dark passenger, or oscar/arthur with john putting up with it for arthur's sake, or them both seeing someone together—the dynamic is gonna be capital-t Them, the closed loop, the self-contained system, and this other body in far orbit around it. no amount of affection or trust or vulnerability with this new variable is going to be able to match the interdependence and mutual care already hardwired into their minds. i mean it's already gonna be hard enough to beat the "us against the world" reflex by itself, at this point.

idk i'm just thinking about like. noel finding out about what happened with oscar, and his biggest lingering hangup is that arthur forgave john. he chose john's comfort over oscar's presence in his life. and he would make that choice again. every single time. and john would do the same for him. like sitting in a circle with two other people and suddenly realizing there's a glass wall between you and them. i think it would be a strange thing to be confronted with all of a sudden, is all

[nemesis-is-my-middle-name]

don’t you just hate it when 🚙

um. sorry wait a minute [grabs mic]

can the owner of the blue honda civic move their car please. it’s blocking my post.

[nemesis-is-my-middle-name]

do you think john avoided describing faust's body, or did he describe it every time with as much revolting detail as possible as a kind of petty revenge

[nemesis-is-my-middle-name]

do yall remember that the pits were apparently humid? enough so that mud wouldn't dry and harden? bc that really bothers me for some reason. idk why. just knowing that all that shit was happening and also it's sticky. prison pits top rated creepy and wet location in the dreamlands, apparently

[nemesis-is-my-middle-name]

what you have to keep in mind abt arthur being a dickhead and kind of losing it in s3 is that like. it was right after the prison pits. i'm not even talking about the emotional/mental impact here i'm talking purely abt the fact that the dude's physical body was shutting down for like 80 different unrelated reasons the whole time.

he hasn't eaten in over a day or longer. he hasn't eaten anything besides raw meat and hasn't seen the sun and has been coasting juuuust at the edge of Organ Failure levels of dehydration for roughly Three Months. a significant amount of his blood is currently feeding wolves in the snow outside addison because of the neck wound and compound stab-through-skin fractures in his legs that he had to set by himself. also after the red right hand he's hungover or recovering from being poisoned or maybe both. of course he's having a mental breakdown. every single warning light is going off at the same time here. that's basically the only reasonable reaction.

[nemesis-is-my-middle-name]

😭 is the best emoji it can be ironic it can be sincere it can be laughter it can be sobbing it’s literally the whole spectrum of human emotion

[nemesis-is-my-middle-name]

So I think the dollmaker is going to end up being one of those almost devoid of all emotion types.

Specifically of the seeking out interesting just to feel something variety.

I like to think the Arthurs were like that. Which is why John wanted Arthur to stay and relax instead of potentially burning out all emotion except the need to go toward the next thing.

[nemesis-is-my-middle-name]

@arthur-lesters-left-eyebrow is entirely correct that "Fill the Void" is very much an Arthur Song (and also malevolent at large). So, (behind the "read more" in case others don't want to read all that,) without further ado, I present to you:

The Visions about "Fill the Void" by Oingo Boingo!

verse 1 - KiY messing with Arthur (with Kayne watching in the background)

Once there was a man who decided he knew everything

KiY in all his glory (stylized) maybe reaching out (left to right)

Once there was a book that he threw in my face

The Book, rays of light going into Arthur's face (left to right as well)

Once there was an angry mob that marched/ Up and down the street

The Pallid Mask running after Arthur (or various season 1 monsters)

Don't ya know they all called my name

Pallid Mask, the city under the hotel

What do they want from me?

approaching the table and the mirror

Chorus

What do they want from me?/ What do they want from me?

these are KiY in Arthur's memories end of 12

What do they want from a poor boy who/ Can't believe

Arthur

They want to fill the void/ They want to fill the empty spaces

The Madness (Arthur distressed); John inhabiting his hand, foot, and eyes (black out those areas, have swirling gold and yellow instead?)

But I won't let them consume me/ With the rest of the lifeless faces

Arthur being defiant in 18-20.

verse 2 - Lillith going into nightmares, messing with Arthur

Once there was a little girl/ Who thought that she was a queen

Lillith (dark purple swirling background, she's radiant and terrifying, hands out)

And she thought the world was a playground/ Filled with sand

Dreams dripping through her fingers like sand through an hourglass

So with all her friends she created a fantasy

The Nightmare

They all come to me with their demands

Scratch and Arthur (end of 31, vivisection;)

What do they want from me?

Arthur in Nightmare facing Scratch (dream or Hattie's room?)

Chorus 2

What do they want from me?

Arthur in 35, deal with Scratch (scratch walking on left)

What do they want from me?

Arthur in 51/52 Nightmare (lillith walking on right)

What do they want from a poor boy who/ Can't believe

The Tear? (or lillith and Kid Arthur)

They want to fill the void/ They want to fill the empty spaces/ But I won't let them consume me/ With the rest of the lifeless faces

Weird Nightmare/ Arthur's head stuff

The fire in 51; Carriage in 52

tiny instrument break for like 2 measures - Arthur and Lillith

verse 3 - KAYNE and Arthur. not necessarily Kayne messing with him, but just them going things (separately)

Every little thing is a piece of a larger thing

KAYNE (big, you can't see his eyes, just a large smile. One hand is up, blood running down)

Ever little fish is a tyrant of the sea

Arthur with Kayne's knife in "kill kill kill" mode, season 3 likely, John concerned (is he visible?) Kayne in the background like a bloody shadow.

Every little atom is a master of his family

Faroe on the piano bench with Arthur learning/ Kayne at piano while Lillith's frozen to the side

Every single piece calls my name

Kayne looking down in like a "he's got the whole world in his hands" kind of pose with the three stones. Arthur is standing under the Blackstone.

What do they want from me?

The Order

Chorus

What do they want from me?

Explanation time in Intermezzo

What do they want from me?

Carrot and the Stick (or memory wipe option)

What do they want from a poor boy who/ Can't believe

Arthur and John in the swamp holding Blackstone close (their hands are covered in blood, too) and then giving to Kayne

They want to fill the void/ They want to fill the empty spaces

Kayne explaining his Wager/ world of pure joy (crying?)

But I won't let them consume me

Plea to Not do the Wager

With the rest of the lifeless faces

Kayne displeasure at the argument -> smile of "I have my Wager to think of"

little instrumental - dismembered, death, Waylay, Manager's office, maybe ending with lighting the lighter if you can imagine all that in 30 seconds.

[nemesis-is-my-middle-name]

y’all ever sent a risky text and you so scared you start doing chores

[nemesis-is-my-middle-name]

jenny holzer, 1983