#just as a test to start getting in that mindset
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Emmet month - Day 15: Summer
beach time 😎🌴☀️
#submas#subway boss emmet#subway boss kudari#emmet#kudari#monthofemmet#my art#just... casually posts stuff out of order#i didn't plan originally for this day either buuuut i was having trouble with some other art so#i figured i'd do something cute#i was also using this as a test for like... sticker design possibly...#because i might want to try making stickers soon#i know this is specific like summer theme so ;;#also probably too big for sticker but you know#it was fun either way#just as a test to start getting in that mindset#anyway he's having a great time#he's got that cool inflatable lapras
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ok wait theres a poll about student loans going around and i see a lot of people in the notes being like “yeah i needed loans because i was poor AND stupid :(” and i’m like.
but that’s the system??? like this “rags to riches” narrative about kids who grow up in poverty and then go to like harvard on full-rides or whatever - it’s a fucking myth, dude. american dream propaganda. has it actually happened? sure, probably. but that has nothing to do with unnaturally high IQ or genius genes or whatever the fuck. that’s not how it WORKS. if you’re poor, you’re “stupid” because no one invested the time and resources into making you smart. largely, probably, because they literally couldn’t. poor family = overworked, absent parents, no matter how hard they try to be there for their kids, and that’s just how it is and it fucking sucks but it doesn’t mean you’re unintelligent because your mom couldn’t read you bedtime stories because she had to work the evening shift every weeknight, it means that you were robbed of necessary emotional connection and forced into developmental delays as a result that unfortunately, yeah, stay with you for the rest of your life.
like SINCERELY there is no measure for intelligence that does not automatically demean the socially disadvantaged and it is so, so, so important that you unlearn the idea that intelligence CAN be measured, let alone compared; because actually how “smart” someone is has a lot to do with how much energy they have on a day-to-day basis, which has a lot to do with how society treats them, which has a lot to do with how much money they have.
think about it, right?? i mean, in a better system, merit-based scholarships would not exist, because funding would go to low-income students who do not have time to study or participate in extracurriculars because they have to cook and clean for themselves and work 20 hours a week at the same time as they’re a full-time student. do you ever notice how dean’s list scholarships are granted to students without them even needing to apply, but financial aid forms are 5+ pages long and require you to write letters that are essentially the text equivalent of getting on your hands and knees and begging? and even then, it’s got such a slim chance of doing anything for you. so much effort for such little reward when you leave home at 7am to go to school and return home from work at 11pm and wake up the next day to do it all again.
it’s all structural, dude. you’re not unintelligent. you just weren’t allowed to be smart. and no one wants to give you a second chance at it, either. and that fucking sucks. but you’ve gotta stop calling yourself stupid or the “stupid” kids of tomorrow are never going to get the chances you didn’t
#taylor.txt#and DISCLAIMER yeah i know there are ‘but actually-’s here but thats true of anything#a pattern is a pattern and this one is pretty glaringly obvious once you start looking for it#sorry for the RANT i just get frustrated by this whole. ‘im not smart’ mindset a lot of people have#and lbr i’m a little extra sensitive right now because my kids are writing exams and they are so fucking smart and capable young people who#deserve every opportunity in the world but standardized tests were not made for this kind of demographic of students and i can see how#demoralizing it is for them and it sucks so bad man. they think theyre stupid but they have such shitty circumstances#so like if all i can do is tell them im proud and i understand and its ok and i’ll be here to help#then isnt that what i need to do? and dont i need to really truly believe it?
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#i need to do some brain working out to try to get stronger and not overthink things#but i am upset and feeling very anxious rn (:#i came back from the optician (which i was dreading) and just started sobbing#i'm so overwhelmed right now you have no idea#i went to get my new glasses which were SO FUCKING EXPENSIVE like waaaaay more than i thought#and i don't have much choice of frames either because of all the shit that go into my lenses#but the choices i had today where not only very few but also ugly as fuck#but literally had no choice cause i don't have money and i had to get the cheapest frames to sort of balance how expensive the frames are#and what makes me feel like a piece of shit is that i'm complaining about ''ugly frames'' and whatever when i am able to get them#like i was able to do all the tests i needed to get done i am able to go and buy the glasses with the graduation and the prism and everythi#and i'm SO FUCKING LUCKY that i can and that i have a job that allows me to buy these#and that my family doesn't have to pay them (cause we couldn't)#and i feel like a dick for complaining cause i can fix my eyesight (to an extent) with glasses and i'm not actually blind or anything#but it also sucks that i have to spend literally all of my money just to be able to see#i'm trying so hard to get in the mindset that i'm not getting these glasses for fashion but as medicine#like if i needed a wheelchair it wouldn't be for fashion either#these are aids to help me be healthy and safe and not get run over by a car#even if they look like shit#but you know i'm conflicted :/#angel talks#personal
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back in the city. watched It Ends With Us with my roommate.
#it ends with us#we've been hyping it up since the trailers. i love taking her to see Bad Theatre#this one was uncanny valley not good enough to be a good film not bad enough to be a good bad film#i rlly enjoyed it!! colleen got me to denounce feminism; victim blame; and be an abuser apologist#it's so funny bc halfway thru i realised this wouldve been fixed if this was just set in an a/b/o au#pleasepleaseplease sony fund a second film for the sequel. i need to see more ryle. i can fix him hes willing to get better we can fix him#this film feels like a litmus test to see if someone was/is/could ever be a Reylo(tm)#(i fuck with reylo btw)#but like yea i LOVED the vibes of the theatre audience for this one. mostly straight women w their straight female friends#had an old woman duo at the side and a group of girls that started crying halfway through at the back#(roomie kept telling me to stop laughing bc she thought it was insensitive when multiple ppl were crying but she didnt get why either lol)#there was also a guy who ended up leaving halfway thru like 😭😭😭 the entire theatre just looked at him fuck off#i recommend it 👍 it felt like an anthro-sociological glimpse into a straight woman's mindset/worldview#movie talk
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Glow-up tips that actually work from your favourite beauty girly (me)
Hot girls don't gatekeep, so here are some of my favourite glow-up tips that actually work. <3
Skin
Find a skincare routine that works for you!! It took me years to find mine, but now my skin is literally perfect. <3 (let me know if you guys want a detailed skincare routine!!)
Don't pick your skin, the less you touch your face, the better.
I believe ice rollers are bs…
If you struggle with dark circles, don't try fixing them through skincare. Most likely, the problem comes from your diet or stress.
Dry brushing is a game-changer!!
Use lotion after every shower and apply a body spray before the lotion is fully absorbed into your skin. You'll smell amazing for DAYS.
Don't try homemade skincare if you already struggle with your skin. I learned it the hard way, lol…
WASH YOUR MAKEUP BRUSHES
Hair
The more heat you use, the more damage you'll have.
SILK PILLOWCASES
Never sleep with wet or damp hair.
Stop buying cheap shampoo and conditioner, also make sure to check the ingredients!!
Some ingredients to avoid: Sulfates, Parabens, Polyethene Glycols, Triclosan, Formaldehyde, Synthetic Fragrances and Colors, Dimethicone, Retinyl Palmitate.
I trim my hair every 3 months.
If you have damaged hair, invest in some Olaplex!! my favourites are N4c, N6 and N7. <3
Diet
green juice actually makes you feel better. I make mine at home and LOVE it :)
Balance is key!! I swear by the 80/20 rule.
Drink more water, even if you think you're drinking enough. DRINK MORE
Keto is BS <3
Focus on eating more protein. Usually, low-fat products have more protein, so I just try to buy those, lol.
I eat gluten-free, not by choice… But it did clear my acne, so…
Take supplements, get a blood test done, discuss it with a doctor and start taking whatever they recommend. GAME CHANGER.
EAT MORE VEGETABLES and fruits.
Lifestyle
Focus on being more active, walk more, workout, join a club or sport, dance, whatever works for you!!
I aim for 10K steps, I live in a big city, so I usually walk more than that but still.
Hobbies that don't include screen time. Trust me.
Find your personal style and ALWAYS dress up. <3
TREAT YOURSELF. Buy yourself flowers, and presents, go to your favourite restaurants, vacations!!
Read more. As a classics lover, I can't imagine a life without literature, but even if you don't like classics, any book is better than no book!!
Take more pictures. I've noticed that I have become a lot more present since I've started taking more pictures!! highly recommend :)
I hate to say this, but getting up earlier is lowkey kinda great... been doing it for a few weeks, and unfortunately, I do feel better... they were right...
Get a cat. :)
Mindset
Stop assuming that everyone hates you, they don't, trust me.
Journaling, manifesting, law of attraction, affirmations.
one of my favourite affirmations: "if I weren't capable, the opportunity wouldn't have come my way; I belong here." <3
Stop hanging out with people who drain your energy
stop consuming media that makes you feel bad.
What would the highest version of yourself do?
If you change your mindset, you will change your life.
Romanticise every aspect of your life. <3
As always, please feel free to share your own suggestions and glow-up tips in the comments! <3
✩‧₊*:・love ya ・:*₊‧✩
#aesthetic#coquette#girl blogger#dream girl#it girl#malusokay#pink blog#that girl#pink pilates princess#pinterest#glow up#coquettecore#dollete aesthetic#positive affirmations#loa blog#angelic#girl blogging#girly aesthetic#beautytips#romantize your life
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Anon: How would yan chuuya, jouno, light, megumi and gojo react to a darling that just doesn't care that they're yanderes?
I already did a similar concept with Chuuya before but I added him nonetheless because I wrote this with a darling in mind that is even fine with the Yandere killing
Tw: Yandere themes, possessive behavior, obsession, delusional mindset, clinginess, isolation, murder
Tags: @maggiequinn59 @shumidehiro @leveyani @izanami78 @lovley-valentine7
Darling doesn't care that they are obsessed
Yagami Light
✍️Light takes the information very well, a pleased grin on his lips when he realises that none of the things that he does seem to bother you. It’s a sign of submission from your side, something that could only ever please a man with a god complex like he has. This is how it should be after all. You should know your place and love him utterly and completely for the perfect being that he is. Light has done some terrible things in the name of his proclaimed love for you, things that he believes he has the right to do as no one is allowed to steal the person away from him that he plans to keep by his side after he has become the New God. Stealing what belongs to a deity is nothing short of a sin. A sin that has to be punished with death itself. After having confirmed that his feelings for you haven’t scared you nor have some of the actions that he has committed which you were aware of, Light starts truly testing how far your adoration and your dedication go for him. He reveals his ideologies, his mission, his identity to you as well as the future he plans to have with you all whilst you remain loving and loyal. Oh, you are indeed worthy of ruling this world alongside with him. He chose wisely.
Nakahara Chuuya
🟠Chuuya tends to let his delusional side get the better of him yet upon initial discovery that you truly don’t care about his behavior as long as he keeps on loving you and treating you well, the Executive is a tad bit concerned. Are you sure? You’re really fine with all of this? He’s in the Port Mafia, he’s killed people for you even. It’s just hard to believe that you accept all of it as gracious as you do to the point where Chuuya wonders if you’re trying to trick him. That distrust remains for a while even if you give him no reason to doubt you. Paranoia is rarely soothed by logic after all. Once Chuuya has been convinced that you truly mean it when you say that you don’t care about his obsession he gets undeniably more delusional though. If you don’t mind his obsession after all he can’t possibly be as bad as he thought he was. He starts indulging in his obsession for you more and more as you basically give him a free pass, asks of you to move in with him so that he can protect you better all whilst spoiling the living shit out of you. He doesn’t really have to hold himself back as much anymore which leads the Executive to turn his possessive behavior up quite a bit. You won’t mind after all.
Jouno Saigiku
♦️For Jouno this knowledge is a bit of a double-edged sword. On the one hand you are easier to deal with, don’t throw any tantrums which could get on his nerves and show quite a level of obedience that deeply satisfies his possessive side. The composed sound of your heart doesn’t overwhelm him but sometimes he also finds himself getting bored. Don’t forget that this Hunting Dog is still an utter sadist after all who would love to listen to the melody of your frantic heartbeat once in a while. After all it’s quite unspectacular for you to be so monotonous with your behavior and your acceptance all of the time. As much obedience and acceptance you may give him after all, it is all for naught if Saigiku doesn’t have control over you by having you fear him. Loyalty and love are not enough in his mind, not if there isn’t fear that weights you down and has you carefully thinking about every stupid decision you might make. The sadist inside of him is truly talking out of him with this desire yet Jouno never attempts to restrain his actions. Since you’ve already taken so well to everything that he’s done so far he’s sure you won’t mind learning how to be a bit scared of him~
Fushiguro Megumi
💙Megumi’s silent paranoia has led him to justify his overprotective and somewhat overbearing behavior most of the time yet there is a shred of awareness still left somewhere inside of him. It is this last shred of sanity that is the only thing letting him know that you shouldn’t think this way, that you should be scared of him. Perhaps you’re trying to trick him? Something holds Megumi back from believing you when you first admit it to him, almost accusing you of trying to fool him so that he lets his guard down. The moment you manage to convince him though that you are speaking the truth the last shard of awareness shatters and leaves him thoroughly led by his paranoid and overprotective instincts. Of course he trusts you. It’s everyone else that he doesn’t trust though. So you two better spend time alone with each other where others won’t be able to bother the two of you. When he isn’t with you, try not to leave the house. If you do, please contact him and let him know where you are, what you are doing and when you are back home again. No, he isn’t overbearing and overprotective. He only wants to ensure your safety, wants to know you’re safe.
Gojo Satoru
🩵Gojo totally eats your behavior up as soon as he knows that you really don’t mind his overbearing, clingy and paranoid attitude. This man has no restrains to begin with as he never holds his affection back but everything becomes even more gross for the people forced to watch as soon as you indirectly give him the free pass. The man is thrilled, constantly smothers you in love and presents and he quickly pushes this relationship to move in the direction he wants it to go. You quickly find yourself moving in with him as it takes him little to no time to convince you, you find yourself spending an almost overwhelming amount of time with him as he gets quickly jealous when you pay attention to others as his possessive and needy nature quickly cages you in. You’re compliant, you’re sweet and you love him for the person that he is which only pushes Gojo to cling tigthter and tighter to you. He finds comfort in you, he finds his peace when he’s with you and he only confines his pain and his feelings to you. You know him. You understand him. You love him. For those reasons he will never let you leave him nor will he ever let anyone lay a finger on you.
#yandere death note#yandere dn#yandere light#yandere yagami light#yandere bungo stray dogs#yandere bungou stray dogs#yandere bsd#yandere chuuya#yandere nakahara chuuya#yandere jouno#yandere jouno saigiku#yandere jujutsu kaisen#yandere jjk#yandere megumi#yandere fushiguro megumi#yandere gojo#yandere gojo satoru#yandere x reader#death note x reader#light x reader#bungo stray dogs x reader#bsd x reader#chuuya x reader#jouno x reader#jjk x reader#megumi x reader#gojo x reader
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Do you ever feel sick and don't feel like doing anything when the day before you told yourself you were going to do a glow up, live always the best ecc..?
yes definitely! unless i'm actually sick and incapable of doing anything, i will at least try. you didn't ask for advice, but here we go anyways. when i feel like that, heres a few things i do:
how to do things when you don't feel like doing them: (from personal experience)
believe that you can do anything. dont roll your eyes at me! dont skip this part either. this is the main point that gets me going every single time. i truly believe that i can do anything, that i am capable of literally anything that i want to achieve. if i want it, i will have it. that is the first mindset you must have when it comes to this.
start small/ make it fun. yes, ofc i said this. if you can't do a full 1 hour workout, do some pushups/squats/lunges and go for a bike ride or a walk with a friend. what i do when im going bike riding with a friend is we go to a mall and buy drinks there! so make it fun! adding friends to whatever you need to do certainly makes it fun. another thing you can do is if you need to read, you can create a cosy spot in your room with scented candles and a little snack and everything and sit and read there. just the idea of it gets me excited!
treat yourself like a project/ robot. now THIS is something that has certainly gotten my some discipline. we as humans have emotions and feelings and moods. sometimes we don't wanna do stuff, and we actually cave into that. if you promised yourself that you would change your life, switch off your emotions and moods. treat yourself like a robot or an "apprentice" that you're training to become the best.
reward yourself! so you can either reward the action (like reading or studying) or the outcome (like finishing a book or getting a high mark on a test). decide what works the best for you. example: you don't wanna study? you can either a) reward yourself for studying with some free time with friends or watching your fav show or b) you can reward your self by the score you get on the test (ex if you got higher than 80%= a certain thing on your wish list, above 90%= a better thing on your wish list, 100%= the thing you've wanted for ages) you don't wanna read? you can either.. a) reward yourself for reading for x amount of minutes or b) you can reward yourself for finishing a book in a certain amount of time.
alter egosss. i know, i mention this quite often, but trust me this actually gives such a burst of emotion! embody someone else/ a different version of you that can best handle the situation. im gonna make a whole post on alter egos soon cus i mention it in a lot of my posts.
EDIT:
Please remember that if ur actually sick or genuinely feeling really low, remember to rest!! Remember to take time to relax and slow down. Take care of yourself honey <3
thats it for now! i hope this helped <3
btw heres a big master-post to how to get things done when you dont want to (not by me)
#agirlwithglam🎀✨#vanilla self improvement⭐️#vanilla's pookies💌#vanilla asks#it girl#it girl energy#self improvement#becoming that girl#girlboss#self development#dream girl#dream life#high value mindset#discipline#discipline tips#how to get things done#becoming her#being productive#glow up#glow up tips#high value woman#best version of yourself#that girl#level up journey#self help#self growth#vanilla girl#up levelling#wongunism#it girl mentality
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What study habits will help you this school year?
Reminder: it doesn't matter if you saw this reading a day or a week or a month or a year after posting this. My readings are timeless. You'll see this when you're meant to see this and receive your message.
Close your eyes and take a deep breath before picking a pile. If you feel drawn to more than one pile, it's alright, you may take the piles that you're drawn to. What's important is to take it how it resonates and leave what doesn't.
PAID READINGS | TIP JAR | FEEDBACK | MASTERLIST
PLEASE HELP IF YOU CAN
NOTE: Please feel free to give me a feedback on my asks about the reading! I would highly appreciate it and it'll be a huge help for me to improve as a reader.
Pile 1
The study habits that will help you this year are the ones that will keep you engaged in your lessons and courses/subjects. Something that keeps your mind active and keeps you interested in learning. Be curious about what you're learning. Take studying as something positive and don't take it as a responsibility. Have the mindset that you're privileged enough to study and learn these stuff. Be in a state of wanting to learn, not needing to learn. Also, leave your "failures" behind, such as low grades or not being able to get a perfect score on your exam. Instead, focus on what you lacked that caused that result.
Study techniques:
Make flash cards
Use white boards (the bigger, the better)
Act like a teacher, pretend that you're teaching
Similar to the previous one, you can also pretend that you're reporting the lesson in class
Make mind maps with only your knowledge and check what you missed after
Pile 2
I'm getting a lot of energy here from you, Pile 2. First of all, STOP CRAMMING. You might have survived the last school year by cramming but it won't help you anymore, especially this time. You need to study in advance especially when you know you have exams coming up. Stop studying the night before the day of the exam. Also, leave the past behind. Let go of your "friends" who distract you from studying and just want to go out to parties. Change your routine. Your previous routine could be a success for you but it drains you. Find some balance between studying and leisure.
Study techniques:
Study with your friends together
Put notes on your walls so you can look at them anytime and you'll learn them naturally
If you exercise and you happen to have a treadmill, put notes on the wall in front of you so you can read as you exercise (walking or jogging)
Similarly, you can record yourself reading your notes and listen to your record while jogging outside or exercising
Read your notes outloud
Pile 3
So here's the studious pile. I'm seeing that you tend to study hard, not study smart. And that's your mistake. You should study smart, not study hard. Stop memorizing and start understanding your lessons more. Stop rewriting your notes over and over until you reach your desired perfection of your notes, the "aesthetic" that you want. Instead, do your best to write well when you're taking notes in class. That way, you won't have to rewrite them at home. When reading your notes, it's best for you to use different colors of highlighters. Also when someone offers you some help in a lesson that you struggle with, accept it, even if you only struggle a little. Lastly, enjoy learning! Don't stress yourself too much about it and overthink you'll fail.
Study techniques:
Don't stay up all night to study and wake up early in the morning to review, especially to recall what you've already studied
Never ever cram and always finish the easiest tasks first
Drink coffee when studying (only if you don't have health issues or you weren't advised that you should avoid coffee)
Keep on rereading your notes and rewrite what you remember, then keep track of what you tend to forget
Make tests for yourself or look for tests online
#tarot#tarot reading#tarot witch#tarotblr#tarotcommunity#tarotreading#free tarot#free tarot reading#daily tarot#free tarot readings#free tarot reading love#tarot pac#tarot pick a card#tarotpac#tarot pick a pile#pick a pile#pick a card readings#pick a card reading#pick a picture#pick a card#free readings#free psychic reading
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MAKING FRIENDS ♡
Friends add so much value to your life. Especially ones that you like, and there is a positive healthy exchange of support and love in between. However, some of us do struggle to create meaningful friendships that last. To start this post, I will start by talking about how friendships are essential to becoming the best versions of ourselves.
Friends help us in many ways, even if they don’t even do it directly. We discover new things about ourselves just by talking to them, we have a sense of belonging and build our self-esteem. It’s not impossible to have these things and be alone, though being alone for extended periods can fester feelings of social isolation & loneliness.
As someone who’s experienced both, usually, these feelings can make us spiral deeper as it is just the tip of the iceberg. Humans need daily communication to feel sane, which has been proven again and again.
If you decide to invest a lot more time, effort, and energy in friends, there’s bound to be an overflowing amount of rewards. Hanging around the right people can open up new opportunities for yourself drive you closer to achieving your goals and help advance your skills.
This being said, if you invest in the wrong people or neglect your friends, the opposite will more than likely happen. Remember that the people you allow in your life can influence you, whether for better or worse.
REDEFINING YOUR MINDSET TOWARDS MAKING FRIENDS
Your mindset is so crucial to making friends. It can either help you or not. Another thing is that your mindset towards life, in general, can either repel or attract people to be around you.
Firstly and importantly, do not get attached to people you barely know. Don’t overthink about them, change yourself for them or get anxious waiting for a reply. Seriously, detach. Little things like replies or if they’ll like you, should not bother you. The concept of it bothering you should not even exist in your mind.
Secondly, do not think of humans as assets to support your growth. This is just so icky and once you get that materialistic perspective on friendships, it just becomes harder to create meaningful ones. While friends can help you grow and achieve your goals, they will drop you once they realise they’re being taken advantage of.
Thirdly, stay true to yourself. A bit of common advice, yet not widely followed. Never, ever, make the effort to change yourself for someone to like you a bit better. If someone doesn’t like you for just who you are, they’re not meant to be in your life, forcing it causes unnecessary & avoidable circumstances.
Fourthly, quality over quantity always. When you get older especially, it shouldn’t be your priority to gain masses of friends. Most likely, not all of your friends like you because it’s harder to invest in all of them and causes you to neglect them.
However, having quality friends who help you grow and succeed will never stop serving you in life even if that friendship falls out. Plus, you are too busy achieving your goals every day to entertain everyone you know.
Lastly, do not allow disrespect just because you’re friends. They will test the waters to see how much you can tolerate, then you allow them to, they’re just going to get more extreme with it. Identify disrespect in ‘jokes’ or casual conservation and call it out. These people are praying for your downfall.
That being said, just because it is not happening to you, don’t allow it. Once you establish yourself as only wanting respect, you’re going to get treated like it.
DEFINING YOUR INNER AND OUTER CIRCLE
Your inner circle consists of people whom you are close to, and have healthy and positive relations with them. These are the kind of people who you’d go to for emotional support or to celebrate great successes in your life.
Then, you have your outer circle. These can be people who you’re close to, but they’re not the closest. It consists of people who you talk to regularly, but there’s still that distance. Distance is not a bad thing at all in friendships, not everyone is meant to be your closest friend.
Now those two terms are established, I want you to visualise how you want those two circles to look. These can be people who you want to be friends with, wanting to cut anyone off or just people who you hope to meet one day.
Then define how you want to feel with those two circles, like a loving or caring circle, or a growth and learning circle. This is completely up to you, about how those circles feel and look like as it is for you.
I recommend writing your visualisations down and putting them somewhere you can see regularly. This is just to help us get into the energy of making meaningful friendships every day.
STANDARDS + CRITERIA IN FRIENDS
The heading is a little bit off-putting, I understand. However, it is essential to establish a set of standards once you start making friends. This is to make sure you’re making quality friendships, and not attaching to just anyone.
This is a bit of individual advice, you have to curate your standards by yourself. A personal example is that I’m Christian myself, I believe in God and I’m devoted to him.
So, in that case, I won’t allow other religions or non-religious people into my inner circle. While they can be in my outer circle, I would prefer having most of my friends believe in God and uphold his values.
Standards and criteria in friends can either be a must quality (they must have this quality) or a preferred quality (I prefer if they did, don’t mind if they don’t). You decide which qualities are which, and if they apply to your inner or outer circle.
Can’t say much, but to help you, I advise looking into yourself internally and once again, visualising what those friendships look like daily. To help, I’ve gathered a few journaling prompts!
What do you think are the responsibilities of friendship?
What is the nicest thing a friend could ever do for you?
What do you think friendship is?
How do you expect the aftermath to be after an argument with a friend?
How can someone become a part of your inner circle?
What behaviour makes you want to cut someone off?
Who were your favourite friends in the past? What did they do to become your favourite?
How would you like to be shown appreciation daily?
Do you like banter or prefer showering each other with compliments?
Then, extract from your responses to these prompts, some characteristics or traits that you look for in friendships.
BECOMING SOCIALLY ELOQUENT The first tip i’m going to give to you is to read. Not just in your head, but out loud reading. Read, and see if you’re going too fast or too slow, you’re pronouncing words clearly and know when to pause. Bonus points if you record yourself reading, then rewatch it to see your progress.
Search up any words you don’t know and how to pronounce them, and to test yourself, think of a way to use those words in an everyday sentence.
While this helps to expand your vocabulary as well, really keep in mind the setting of the conservation. If you’re at a science and math invention fair, more advanced language is suited. However, you wouldn’t use that same way of speaking casually at a party.
The second tip is to get rid of all filler words in your vocabulary.
Like
Um
Uh
so
Unnecessary when speaking and it can make you an unengaging conservationist. Just take a pause when thinking, and if you forget what you were talking about, tell your listener or just change the topic. Sometimes, these words are needed when speaking, but not all the time.
The third tip is just to do everything slower, while speaking. Move your hands slower, don’t dart your eyes around and take deep breaths before speaking. If not, you seem anxious and jittery, in which your words will not be clear.
The fourth tip is to pay attention to the listener. Make eye contact with them and ask questions about them too. This makes it a lot more engaging and therefore, easier for the listener to listen.
My fifth tip, and the most important, is to practice speaking. Whether it is in front of a mirror or with a partner. Use notes as reminders while practising to help you remember what to do. There are even videos on YouTube where you can pretend you’re having a conversation with someone, or you could just make your own.
However, practice yourself to speak without preparation. Like for example, you strike up a conservation with your classmate and apply the things you’ve learnt.
Bear in mind, that the whole point of becoming socially eloquent isn’t to make people listen to you, but to make it easier for people to listen to you.
MAKING FRIENDS + KEEPING THEM
Now everything else is out of the way, let’s talk about what you probably came here for. How to make friends and keep them. Better said than done.
The settings where you meet someone are important. It allows you to easily connect with people who are similar to you in any way, without actually having to state it. Here are a few places to meet people.
Church/any religious site (same beliefs)
Sports club (like that sport/exercise)
Any classes (people who like learning/that hobby)
School or university (you’ve got something to connect over)
These are just a few examples of where to meet people, however, you do not have to go somewhere else just to meet someone. Sometimes, I go to my nearest shopping mall or supermarket either after school or on the weekend and talk to any girls who look around my age, with whom I’ve gained so many friends.
While going to a particular setting helps to find people with similarities, it’s not the essential piece to meet people.
If you struggle to make friends just by striking up a conversation, just make yourself known to others first. Help them when needed, compliment them or greet them daily. They will most likely approach you first and talk to you first as you’ve deemed yourself approachable. Do not rely on this method though, not everyone is willing to approach you.
Once you find a potential friend and you’re talking to them, make sure it’s an engaging conversation. First, ask open-ended questions. Open-ended questions are ones that someone can expand on, basically not yes or no answers.
Do you own any cats? -> What’s your favourite cat breed?
Do you enjoy *activity*? -> What’s your favourite thing to do after school?
When can we hang out? -> Where’s your favourite place to hang out?
These are the kinds of questions that you get to know someone and are engaging. Remember, do not be overbearing with questions, it can come off as kinda odd.
Secondly, find any similarities and talk about them. For example, a sport, a favourite book, a hobby, religion. It is so easy for people to connect over their favourite things.
Thirdly, have open and friendly body language. Smile when they’re talking, maintain eye contact, avoid crossing your arms and legs, and lean in to show you’re listening. People love love, good listeners.
My fourth point which refers back to being good listeners, is remembering what they say. If they said, oh I love going to the beach, maybe suggest going to the beach together. Or, they said, I hate studying, then the next time they have a test, help them study.
Lastly, avoid small talk. It becomes awkward and the answers are always the same. If you must, ask them about things that happened in their life. Like, how’s that boy you’re talking to or did you do well on that test?
Most people also hate small talk. So, if every single conservation is just small talk, they would not want to talk to you.
These little things that you remember can make people like you and therefore, want to be your friend. I remember stuff about people by just writing it down and occasionally referring back to it.
Now, let’s say you’ve got your friend now. However, you don’t have a way of talking to them every day. They don’t live close by nor do they attend your school/uni/any place. So, how do we keep them?
Easy, invest in those friendships. Talk to them via messages or phone, schedule days to hang out, check up on them to make sure they’re doing well, be honest with them, remember important dates of their lives etc.
Keeping friends is just about being a good friend to them. Just think about how you would like to get treated by your friends and treat them like that. Even if they don’t reciprocate, putting out those positive actions, will come back to you one day.
#becoming that girl#green juice girl#just girly things#friends#friendships#relationships#communication#connection#healthy relationships#becoming her#it girl energy#glow up#that girl#wonyoungism#pink pilates princess#clean girl#healthy girl#dream girl#it girl#dream girl guide#dream girl journey#dream girl tips#dream girl vibes
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I'm writing a story where a major character is slowly spiraling into madness where small details kinda hint into the downfall right before the bigger details appear and then it the floodgates open. Is there anything I should avoid? Anything that I should keep in mind? Anything that I should research?
1st vs. 3rd POV For Mad Characters
This may sound irresponsible for someone who gives out writing tips, but the best method to figure out the best POV character is to test 2-3 out (just try writing the first chapter) to see if it works the way you expected it to.
Here are some factors to consider when you’re writing an MC who is mad:
The extent to which you want to capture their internal world
The extent to which you can afford to “warp” descriptions of the external world (while not getting your readers lost)
How much you want your readers to sympathize with the character
What you feel comfortable with. How much you actually know about the mental condition they’re going through will be REALLY important and easy to tell in 1st person POV. For 3rd person POVs, there’s more wiggle room.
First Person MC POV
The POV that takes the most research and careful balancing between actual description and the “insane” descriptions.
Since the reader cannot see beyond a mad character’s head, it can be difficult to tell what’s “actually happening” at times.Many writers have used this as a major plot twist, given that it comes with careful structuring so that enough evidences are left for the readers which all come together at the end.
Be ready to make use of side characters who are more capable of telling readers the truth
If the focus is more on the process of going mad, this is the best POV to fully explore how a character can live in their own bubble.
Third Person Omniscient
Even when writing in third person omniscient, you’ll typically follow a main character from whose perspective you follow the story.
It’s more convenient to jump into side characters to let the readers know what’s reality from the madness-induced beliefs of the MC.
If the MC’s madness is one that is hard to justify(criminal mindset), it’s easier to use 3rd Person to distance yourself a little
First Person Observer POV
Whether you can have an effective 3rd person observer at all will depend on the kind of madness your MC is falling into. For sociopathic insane characters, it doesn’t make sense to have someone who can follow them closely enough to provide description.
Think about why and how this narrative character will follow the MC around
I think 3rd person observers work best when you explore how mad characters are judged/helped by those around them throughout their journey.
This may come more naturally to us since we are technically observers who will watch this character go mad.
My final rec: start with 3rd person observer POV, then try out one other POV for the first chapter to decide.
#writers block#writing#writers and poets#creative writing#writers on tumblr#helping writers#writeblr#poets and writers#resources for writers#let's write#creative writers#writerscommunity#writing process#writing prompt#writing inspiration#writing tips#on writing#writing advice#writer#writing community#writers of tumblr#writer stuff#writer community#writer things#writer problems#writer on tumblr
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Danny and Mr.freeze
So Danny's going to college in gothem U for engineering, but... he also doubles because he's learning things to be ghost king
Frostbite and undergrowth are teaching him about medical hearbs and proper medical information, and because their amazing doctors they dont know when to stop the medical information because theres always better ways to treat something
He's also getting combat lessons from fright knight and skuller
Johnny 13 is helping him with engineering
And ember convinced (threatoned Convinced whats the difference?) Danny to do some music lessone
That on top of human school, bills, his job and the daily stress of gothem he's more sleep deprived then he was in his teens
So one day after he just finished with frostbite, he opened a portal to go home but...
He miscalculated
Rather then his apartment he ended up in Mr.Freeze's hideout...the same one noras being held in
Mr.freeze is,obviously, freaked out by the teenager that opened a portal into his lab
It took him a good few moments to figure out this kid is so sleep deprived he must have missed his mark and ended up here, he dosent trust him, but he understands now
Danny on the other have is still in the medical mindset so when he sees and recognises nora is sick he immediately goes to help without really knowing whats going on
Mr.freeze when he saw the kid was about to touch nora was about to get rid of the kid...
But then he started mummbleing
About medical knowledge, mr.freeze watched as this sleep deprived kid figured out and cured nora in the span of 6 hours
And since danny kept "sleep talking" mr.freeze followed what he did and he was...shocked this teenager knew how to figure out she was sick and cured her...
After danny was done he did what he intended to do at the far frozen and opened a portal back home
As soon as he left dr.freeze tested and ...she was cured, after all this time and energy...she was cured.
And he didnt know who to thank
.
.
.
It was about a month later that danny opened his apartment to see a man in a walking freezer and a pretty woman in a red dress outside his apartment
Danny sighed and cursed his sleeping habits
#danny phantom#fic prompt#daily prompt#danny fenton#dc x dp#dp x dc#funny#dc#danny cures nora#mr. freeze#nora#sleep deprived danny#future ghost king danny#danny knows medical stuff#frostbite taught him#danny knows this is his fault#mr.freeze has mever been so happy#nora is also happy
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Pink Mindset I
Let’s start changing your brain; training your mindset is just as important and just as fun as training your holes.
First, edge if you aren’t already, it helps let the pink into your brain! It’s an easy way to remember your girl words, so you don’t get too confused or overwhelmed when there’s not a Man around to think for you. Besides, not only is it cute and silly and feminine, it keeps you from having to deal with too many of those pesky thoughts - when you’re working hard to be a good girl you don’t need to focus on anything else!
So, let’s try putting some pink in how you think:
“I’m only on dating apps to find a boyfriend” becomes “I’m only on dating apps to find an Owner”.
“I’m studying economics at Mount Holyoke” becomes “I’m wasting time on economics at Mount Holyoke”.
“I failed that test, it was way too hard and I should’ve studied more” becomes “Of course I failed that test, it was way too hard and I should be edging instead”.
“Since I dropped out, I’ve just been his stay-at-home girlfriend” becomes “Since I dropped out, I’ve been kept as his stay-at-home girlpet”.
“I do chores and shop and clean all day, just so he can come home and demand I blow him” becomes “I do my women’s work all day, so he can come home and relax while I serve him”.
After all - little changes make a big difference in becoming a good girl!
#patriarchy kink#daddy's good girl#fr33use#cvmdump#bitchmaker#corruption kink#sluttraining#girlbreaking#dykebreaking#mindfuck#pinkbrain
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Soothing Lullaby
|| Mel Medarda x fem!reader
|| Warnings; slight season two spoilers about Mel, injured reader, blood mentions, Mel takes care of reader, brief mentions of death but nobody dies, you decide why reader was in Zaun, short drabble
|| Summary; when reader returns from a trip down to Zaun with an injury, Mel helps her out.
Requests closed!
Started; December 15th
Finished; December 15th
HurtCember2024; Day 11, Caretaking
Author Note; firstly, sorry about how long all my fics have been taking me. I haven't had a writing mindset and I wanted the fics to be good so I haven't been writing. Secondly, thank you for 900 followers!! Love all of you 🫶 I wonder if we can hit 1,000 before the new year?
Also; don't know if Mel's magic can heal, but for the sake of this fic yes she can lmao
~~~
It was late afternoon when you'd stumbled into Mel's room after having gone down to Zaun. Looking for something. Mel, of course, hadn't been aware of your little adventure. So, when she saw you her eyes widened with worry.
"Y/N? What happened to you?" Mel forgot all about the clothes she was previously looking through. There was a party tonight; Mel was looking for an outfit to wear. But now, she was looking at you. More specifically the wound that traveled up your leg. It cut through the fabric of your pants. Stretching from the start of your heel, just above the edge of your shoe line, and twisted up to behind your knee cap. Blood dripping down from the deeper parts of the cut.
"Um... ran into a Zaunite," you explained. Tone a bit sheepish. Mel's eyes narrowed in confusion. A Zaunite? Why were you in Zaun? Or had the Zaunite come to the surface? Her mind buzzed with a million questions. Questions that she would ask once she's helped you.
Mel knelt down, taking your leg into her hands. With her magic, caretaking was a pretty easy thing for her to do. You winced as your leg was moved and Mel looked into your eyes. Her gaze soft, full of nothing but worry and sympathy for you," shh. You're okay," her voice feels like a soothing lullaby. One that makes your shoulders ease the moment it reaches your ears. You gave her a nod.
Her fingers danced along your injury. A light golden glow seeping through the tips of her fingers and into the wound. Closing it with a golden shimmer that marked the line of where it once was. The pain had left you the moment her fingers touched you. Feeling a sense of ease. You had to admit, Mel's magic was a handy little trick. It's helped you lots before.
"Better?" Mel asked, gently letting go of your leg. Allowing you to rest your foot to the floor again. You have your leg a little shake, testing if there was any lingering pain. A smile crossed your lips when there wasn't any.
"Yep! Thank you, Mel," you thanked her. She stood, hands gently caressing your cheeks while she looked into your eyes. Your own eyes locked with hers, those absolutely stunning eyes... you could stare into them all day without getting bored. They were just memorizing.
"You truly need to be more careful. What ever will I do with you, hm?" Mel met your smile with her own. She loved you, but you were always getting yourself into trouble that she had to drag you out of. Honestly you'd probably be dead if not for her. She didn't mind, though. You and your shenanigans were just free entertainment for her.
"Maybe kiss me?" You suggested shamelessly, earning yourself a laugh from your girlfriend.
"Is that all you want? Well, I think we can make that happen," her lips latched to yours. Dancing in soft rhythms. Your arms wrapped around Mel's neck loosely. Bringing her in closer to you.
The kiss lasted as long as it could before Mel's focus was back to your leg, frowning again at the blood that still lingered," let's get you into the shower." You weren't about to argue with that. Perhaps you could convince her to join.
#fanfic#x reader#canon x reader#wlw fiction#fem reader#mel medarda#hurtcember2024#hurtcember#hurtcember mel medarda#hurtcember day 11#hurtcember caretaking#mel medarda x fem reader#mel medarda x reader#mel x fem reader#mel x reader#arcane#arcane fanfic#arcane league of legends#mel medarda fanfic#mel fanfic#mel x reader fanfic#mel medarda x reader fanfic#mel x fem reader fanfic#mel medarda x fem reader fanfic#mel medarda x you#x you#soft mel#caretaking mel#mel takes care of reader#reneesghostinthelivingroom
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How the Universe provides for you + Songs
Choose a pile by which picture you resonate with the most.
If your mind is too busy to clearly decide, take a few deep breaths, and use the finger of your non-dominant hand to hover over the images. One will give off the most subtle yet prominent signals, like tingles, a magnetic pull, or temperature. This is your pile. Multiples are also possible.
You are the ultimate authority over your life. I merely provide my perspective. Sometimes the Universe lines you up with something that doesn't resonate with your truth, so you have contrast to find out what does. Never give away your power.
Pile 1
Strength, 3 of Pentacles
youtube
You have loyal allies in your challenges. A lot of unforeseen inconveniences you can't seem to avoid are in your energy, but this time, you feel the support - be it physical incarnations of kindred spirits, or those from the other realm connected to you. Yes, your heart is pounding and your knees are shaking, and these instances definitely aren't what you would've put on your wish list in a million years - but you surprise yourself with your bravery amidst it all. You thrive in collaboration with likeminded people, even in the face of your antagonists. The Universe is sending you storms so you can see how well you build your structure, and feel like the badass boundary expert your past self dreamed they could be.
This was a test, and you passed with flying colors. All your hard inner work is tangibly paying off, and you feel elated and proud - rightfully so.
Pile 2
Queen of Pentacles, The Fool
youtube
You finally stopped caring so much. You figured out where (or with whom) you lose the energy you so desperately missed all this time, and despite the struggles of letting go, you are now light as a feather. But in contrast to the past, where you were simply too scared to attach fully, so what else is there to do but float... you can now fall back on and draw from the deep roots you grew in fertile ground. Nourishment tailored to your needs is in constant supply, and plenty of opportunities to extend that generosity onto are emerging on the horizon. But this time, you know what to look for to have it reciprocated.
There might be people you still deem generally lovable you had to leave behind, and trust that hearing their criticism or seeing the effect of your absence on them will never truly stop hurting - but you know your worth and needs better than ever, and are determined to ultimately look ahead to the promising future. The Universe provides for all, and not just through you.
Pile 3
7 of Wands, 7 of Pentacles
youtube
The Universe is fueling your fierce protector side. You respect your own time more than ever, and see the value of patience with yourself. Your vulnerability is no longer a source of shame, it has become your most precious inspiration. Outside disturbances can't faze you out of your serenity with your true self. You worked hard for where you are, and you are not letting anyone counterproductive get close to it. Take the various toxic coping mechanisms projected onto you as the compliments that they are - you trusted in your balance, followed what felt right, and are reaping the rewards, while others still cling to the very same mindset that starts itching once you are around.
You understand the delicate relationship between healthy aggression and egotistical overkill, and are a role model for those wanting to follow you. The blessings you have already received are shining brighter than ever, and it's only the beginning. Isn't it so worth it being seen as the bad guy? Your people love you for what you are doing for them. No one can take this away from you, because you know how to keep it - becoming more authentic every chance you get.
Pile 4
2 of Swords, The Hermit
youtube
I can imagine you clicking on this particular reading with a kind of scoff. "Oh yeah? Providing for me? I see fuck all." Dare I recommend to expand your understanding in which ways one can receive...? I see you clinging onto promises you kind of already know aren't very, well, promising. But for some reason you only want it that way, almost to try to prove a point no one even challenged you on. Your idea of what you need and what you want have no space for differences inbetween. This might not sound pretty or comforting - I feel awfully confrontational saying this to you actually, and my Cancer Mars is shaking like a leaf - but I see the Universe providing you with an ultimatum.
Drop the rope if you truly want happiness (and not just validation for how great all of your ideas are), or be stuck in the frustration eating away at you. Look at what you already have. Yes, it's not the ultimate dream, but you have to first step inside of you to be able to receive. Because inside of you is where you will feel the love that's on its way to you - not craning your neck out as far as you can, desperate for a crumb to roll by.
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How did it end?
Summary: A flashback to the night that changed your lives forever.
Pairing: past Joel Miller x fem. reader
Wordcount: 2.4k
Rating: T
Warnings: angst (so much angst), flashbacks, some really hurtful words, cursing, crying, pregnancy tests, Joel being a dick, Calvin being the best supportive brother
A/N: somehow I feel in my mind like this should have been worse, but I am sure you all do not feel like that at all so I'm sorry lol
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part three of invisible string
Even before the outbreak you dealt with your anxiety or with big life decisions the same way.
You were stress cleaning.
After walking out from Joel you made your way into the town centre, picking up your kids and then got back home where your brother Calvin was already trying to cook something but you mutually made the decision that you were gonna cook while he bathed the kids.
You both did not want him to burn the house down.
He wanted to ask you how it went, having run into Maria on his way home from the Patrol meeting, who had told her that you had been at the clinic to see Joel.
But this wasn’t the time or the place.
It ended up being a nice evening all things considered.
You had dinner, played some boardgames, read a good night stories to your kids and watched them sleep in their little beds until the nervous energy in your body left you walking back downstairs.
Once the house got quiet after the kids and you brother were asleep (he had an early morning with his first big day on Patrol the next day) you were alone with your thoughts.
And your thoughts were loud, and demanded to be heard.
So you went into the kitchen, took a look at all the cleaning supplies that were still stocked under the kitchen sink and got to work.
You started with the top of the kitchen cabinets, standing on the counter as you scrubbed what felt like centuries of dust off of them until you were satisfied and moved to inside the cabinets.
What a picture it would be if one of your new neighbours caught the crazy lady next door deep cleaning the kitchen at 2 am during the literal apocalypse.
Cleaning usually had the power to make the thoughts inside your head shut up.
But as you emptied the cabinets so you could clean them inside, your mind drifted to the last time you had tried to deal with whatever was going on in your life by extensively deep cleaning every surface around you.
The Outbreak might have been an excuse for many people to let things like cleaning the place where they lived become unimportant.
Which deep down it was of course.
Why have a clean kitchen when just down the street, behind the fences and walls the so called new government had pulled up, there were people and what once were people dying or fighting (or eating) each other?
But you always lived by the mindset of clean home, clean mind.
And what you desperately needed right now was a clean mind.
Two ten year old positive pregnancy tests you took this morning after feeling off for the last couple of weeks and missing you period were enough reason to freak out.
But you couldn’t freak out.
Joel would do that for you, you were sure.
That was, if he ever decided to come home to you again after being on a run with Tess for the last four days.
He hadn’t even told you or kissed you goodbye this time.
You had woken up to a note on the kitchen table telling you that he’d be gone on a run with Tess and he didn’t know how long.
Something about your husband had changed in the last few months.
It changed ever since Tommy left and Tess was his only influence outside of you. Not that you had much influence on anything he did nowadays.
It wasn’t like he was the most attentive men to begin with.
But you fell for him.
You fell for the complicated, traumatised and closed off man who to this day was the most handsome man you had ever met.
And deep down you knew he fell for you, mumbling his confessions of love into your skin when he thought you were asleep.
It was the way he looked at you.
The way he brought home a new book to read whenever he went out of the QZ.
The way he made you forget about the fucked up word outside of the walls you made your home whenever he gave you his full attention.
He wouldn’t have put a ring on your finger years earlier as you laid in his arms, asking you to be his until the day you both died, if he did not love you, would he?
You loved him, you loved him even when he seemed to make it his personal goal to make you hate him.
He used to be home every night in the beginning.
He used to love to spend time with you and you with him. Staying up just talking for hours if he wasn’t making love to you.
Because even when he was fucking you, it felt different. More… intense. More passionate.
He used to smile at you.
By now you couldn’t remember the last time he smiled at you now.
And by the time you had practically polished the whole shitty apartment you and Joel lived in it was dark outside and he still wasn’t home.
In hopes he would be home and it would lift his mood you had made dinner that now sat cold on the stove.
It was after 11pm and you were tired, having been in the bathroom brushing your teeth when you heard the door unlock and open.
A nervous flutter in your stomach made the dinner you had earlier almost come up but you took a deep breath, looking at yourself in the small mirror over the sink.
You were wearing one of Joel’s old worn flannels, his familiar scent in your nose.
What was the worst that could happen?
It was not like you could just turn back time?
You were pregnant and he just would have to deal with it.
Right?
You would never forget the way his eyes hardened once you said the words
„I am pregnant.“
He had been in a relatively good mood when you joined him in the small kitchen, having already taken his shoes and coat off, his hair damp from the rain outside.
It made you reconsider telling him for a tiny moment, wanting to just enjoy this with him. But maybe he would not react like you thought he would? Maybe he would be happy?
You wanted to ask a million question about how it went but you were too nervous, having instead kissed his cheek with a whispered „I miss you“ and then offered to warm up some food for him.
He had put his hand on your waist, his fingers brushing over your stomach as he went into the bathroom, his lips against your temple telling you that he would just take a quick shower.
It was after he ate, the table cleaned that you told him.
Sitting across from him at the tiny shitty table you had, your hands flat on the surface, the silence after you told him the news sickening.
His whole face had changed, expression hard, by the time he opened his mouth to speak.
„Is it mine?“ He asked and you just blinked at him, speechless, your head falling back as if he had slapped you, before you answered.
„What do you mean? Who else would it be? We’re married,“ you said and he scoffed.
„Doesn’t mean you don’t open your legs for anyone else while I’m gone,“ he sneered and you flinched at the accusation and the tone he used.
Sucking your bottom lip in you looked at your hands, still on the table, nodding your head slowly.
„Good to know what you think of me after all these years,“ you whispered, still trying to process his words.
„What did you think would happen? That I’ll be happy? Newsflash darlin’, this isn’t one of your dumb romance novels you keep reading,“ he said, before he brought his fist down on the table, making you jump. He got up from where he was sitting, walking over to the cabinet that held all the liquor he scavenged, opening the one bottle of original Jack Daniel’s and taking a long sip.
„You gonna get rid of it,“ he said and you looked at him.
„Excuse me?“ You asked.
„Don’t want no kids of mine in this fucked up world. And especially not with you,“ he said and you felt slapped again. One blow after the next coming from him. You crossed your arms in front of your stomach protectively.
You had imagined his reaction would be bad, but this wasn’t bad. This was destroying you.
„So that’s it, you don’t want a kid, and I have to just comply?“
„That’s exactly how it is, sweetheart,“ he grinned darkly at you, shaking his head and leaning against the wall and you desperately tried to find the tiniest part of the person you had fallen in love with as you looked at him.
But there was nothing left.
Maybe you just had been too blind to see it until now.
„I thought you loved me,“ you whispered, tears in your eyes.
„How can someone love you? You thought because I put a ring on your finger everything would be okay? We’d be a happy little family and live in this shitty apartment in this shitty QZ while the world around us is fucking dying? How did you think this would go?“ He asked.
„You made it sound like I planned this. Do you think I like this? Do you think I like being pregnant by a man who even though treated me like the fucking dirt beneath his shoes for the last months, was still the man I thought I would spend the rest of my life with?“
„Then get rid of it and we can get back to it,“ he said and you scoffed.
„You really think things are gonna get back to how they were after you said all that?“ You asked.
He shrugged.
„Where would you go? You have no family. No friends. All you have is me,“ he said.
„And you’re so different? Who do you have? Tommy left because…“
„Do not talk about my brother,“ he threatened and glared at you.
You shook your head, taking a deep breath.
He was drunk.
This was not going anywhere.
This would never go anywhere.
„Things are not going to go back. I can find someone better than you on every corner,“ he said and you could not stop the sob that shook your body and you were pretty sure you could hear your heart breaking.
„I don’t love you. I never did,“ he said and the tears you had tried to hold in finally fell.
„Get rid of this, before I take care of it,“ he said, and a chill ran down your spine at his tone.
„And then get the fuck out of my life.“
You were in the last touches of finishing cleaning the kitchen when you heard footsteps coming down the stairs.
You hadn’t even noticed the tears until Calvin pulled against his chest, his hand running soothingly up and down your back.
„You wanna talk about it?“ He asked and you shook your head.
„Not yet. Not ever if I’m honest,“ you mumbled and he chuckled.
„Need to talk to him though,“ you said and leaned back, turning around to turn on the stove to heat up some water and make some tea for the both of you. Looking at the clock hanging on the wall you noticed that it was just before 5 am.
„Don’t need to do anything,“ he said and opened the fridge, getting the lunch he had prepared the day before for his day out and grabbing some stuff to make himself a sandwich.
„I can’t ignore him forever. As much as I would like to. He’s…. He’s here and he won’t go anywhere. Neither will we. So we have to…. Co-exist somehow.“
You both get to your tasks before you both sat down at the table, you with two mugs of tea, one for him, him with two sandwiches, one which he pushed towards you.
„You still love him,“ your brother said after a while and you sighed, looking up at him.
„Yeah. But it doesn’t matter. I don’t think I’l ever be able to forgive him for everything that happened,“ you smiled sadly.
„Well,“ your brother said before he got up and put his plate in the sink.
„Then you should talk to him and tell him that so you can both move on with your lives.“
You followed him towards the front of the house where he put his shoes on and checked if he had everything in his little backpack for this first patrol.
„What if he wants to be in their lives?“ You asked, nodding upstairs to where both your children were still sleeping.
„Do you think he wants to? He made himself pretty clear from what you’ve told me,“ Calvin said.
„I don’t know. It’s been a long time and he seemed…. He seemed really sorry? I just….“ You took a deep breath, shaking your head.
„Nope. I am not gonna spend any more time thinking about Joel Miller. I’m gonna go upstairs and take a two hour nap and then I’m gonna go and explore our new home while my children are learning stuff in an actual school,“ you said.
„There you go!“ Calvin grinned.
„Be safe today!“ You said, grinning back and hugged him quickly.
„You too,“ he smiled, before he opened the door, your face falling as you saw Joel stand on the porch, his hand held up in a fist as if he was about to knock.
„I’m here to pick you up for patrol? Tommy’s gotta stay home today,“ Joel said as he looked between you and your brother.
„Well that is gonna be fun,“ Calvin said, winking at you, before he stepped out and pulled the door shut behind him, giving Joel no chance to try to say anything more if he wanted to.
You watched them through the window next to the door as they walked down the porch and then down the street until they were out of sight.
Letting your shoulders fall while you exhaled with a sigh you shook your head before you made your way upstairs.
This was gonna be a long day.
#my fic#Joel Miller x fem. reader#Joel Miller#Pedro Pascal#fanfiction#fanfic#fan fiction#tlou#tlou fanfiction#joel miller fanfiction#pedro pascal characters
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Jumping on the bandwagon woo-hoo
no spam reblog or spam comment ;P
For every 100 reblogs I'll drink another bottle of water
Update: Ive drank almost 2 whole water bottles in the last 3 days which isn't much proportionally but for one, I'd probably not even drink one if it wasn't for the internet critters in my phone telling me to and also, yk, thats alot of water compared to my last few weeks getting all my fluids from food
10 reblogs: Go to bed before midnight tonight
50 reblogs: I'll make my bed in the mornings for a week
Update: I found out that my bed being made kinda stresses me out for some reason, it's just so neat I get scared, and so instead I am putting away 3 pieces of clothing that have been clean for months and i just haven't touched every morning :D
75 reblogs: I'll work on getting accommodations for my autism at school
Update: I don't have the required "proof of diagnosis" and I'd have to wait 2 years or so to get it and I won't be in school anymore at that point, so I'm working with my counselors to see what they can do aside from official autism accommodations
125 reblogs: I'll work in upping my failing grade in math
Update: Math test retake on the 12tg, wish me luck!
150 reblogs: I'll work on my dopamine addiction and get help
Update: Hooooooly shit addictions are hard. I'm going to start a timer for time between uses of YouTube shorts or Instagram reels in an effort to reduce my need for instant gratification and try to replace every time I pick my phone up with drawing or reading or talking to people around me.
200 reblogs: I'll post my art that I've been self conscious about posting
Update: I am really happy for this, it's finally an excuse for me to make myself post my art :D it's probably gonna be 1-2 drawings per post with a little background with each :3
300k reblogs: I'll start cleaning up my room
400k reblogs: I'll clean out my bag (God pls don't get to 400 yall T T)
500: I'll get sharp objects out of my room
1k reblogs: I'll be really happy :0
Edit; Added more goals
2k reblogs: I'll start streaming on twitch again!!!
3k reblogs: I'll empty out my drafts
5k: I come out as trans to my parents (I don't know if they're transphobic so to speak, but they are of the mindset that "do whatever you want once you're out of our house but until then you are our kid" but I wanna be like um no actually-)
5.5k: I come out as trans to my non-transphobic grandma
6k: I come out as trans to my transphobic grandma
Edit 2; Yo same picture of the earth reblogged me?!? the picverse found this?!?! that's insane xd
Edit 4; I added some coming out goals because I'm not gonna do it if I don't have the pressure from hundreds of little things in my phone cheering me on xd
Pinging moots so there's at least a small chance of any of these happening xd
@calimewzz @annotated-catastrophe @glitched-out-dusk @life-is-okay-rn
#now I can blame my personal failures on a lack of internet fame#instead of my own inability to function properly#>:D
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