#just actively looking through things
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i found some guy on spotify through one of his weebshit themed playlists and then i ravaged his profile and kept liking his shhit up. and then a few weeks later he made a playlist 'for that one person who keeps liking my playlists'. when i saw it i giggled and kicked me feet i was like hoo wee thats meeeee !! anyway this was one of the songs i took from him. i really like that guy his music taste is cool
#the playlist covers were funny. the titles were esoteric. the music was obscure. this guy was like another jesus to me#and i only know his spotify username#i have three of these total. i call them spotify deities#he is one of them#all three of them i fw very heavy lol#cool vibes and wide range of music and very expressive#a little parasocial but whatever. i find these little glimpses into people very entertaining and interesting#and i can find new music this way !#i do this a lot actually. i just search up shit and find playlists and go to random peoples profiles and see what i can glean from them#the deities are the best of the bunch if that makes sense#i hope this isnt horrifically weird jfsdlagj#i used to find myself spending SO much time on spotify#just actively looking through things#genres artists playlists profiles#>hiel yada#sometimes i'd pause the music even. so i could sort through findings in concentrated silence LMFAO#so id be on spotify. active on the app. not playing music.#is this a hobby. i find it fun lmao#>h.music#Spotify
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Spilling Tea Part 3:
All the Robins are sitting criss-cross applesauce on a plush carpet, summoned by Dick Grayson to play "truth or dare but without a dare and you can choose what to spill" (Dick is still work-shopping the name).
Jason: If I share some dirt now, will you let me leave?
Dick: Hm, why do you want to miss valuable bonding time with us? 🥺
Jason: Because I can't stand seeing your dumb fac—
Damian: Todd has an appointment with a group of children under Red Hood's protection.
Dick: Aww! 🥹
Jason glares at Damian: Tattle!
Damian: It is hardly tattling if you did not clarify whether it was meant to be a secret.
Dick: Tell us about it, Jay. Then you can go.
Jason: I'd rather tell you about how I managed to fit all those heads into a duffle bag because let me tell you, it was harder than it looked.
Dick gives him The Look.
Jason: Ugh! Fine! The kids are gonna spend my money on some new shoes and backpacks. Then we're all gonna look at some furniture for Mary's new place.
Tim raises his hand: Isn't it actually Bruce's money? He just sent you ten thousand dollars.
Jason:
Jason: I'm leaving and never coming back.
#Normal family bonding activities#I feel I should clarify that I'm using the term “normal” sarcastically.#Jason you'll be back and you know it#Dick just gave Jason the “Disapproving Older Sibling Look” for talking about the heads thing in front of “impressionable” little siblings#Tim likes to look through Bruce's financials. It's like a game to him to figure out what he spent $5K on Monday and $25K on Tuesday#He thinks it's fun and he likes to know stuff. So of course Tim knows whenever Bruce sends his kids money for food and vigilantism.#Jason did not know that money was from Bruce. He thought it was Talia that kept leaving a conspicuous packet of cash on his window!#dick grayson#jason todd#damian wayne#tim drake#batfamily#batfam
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In the same way that this blog has given you something to hold on to and look forward to, seeing these comics has given me something to hold on to and look forward to in some bleak times too. Thank you for sharing your art and your journey and your commentary and your jokes. They mean a lot to me and I’m certainly not the only one. Keep “”””””poorly”””””” drawing <3
Thank you so much for joining me on this journey of trying to get by, and learning to stay silly and hopeful.
#ask#It honestly means a lot to know my comics can bring little bit of joy into someone's day.#Truthfully... life can get horribly bleak. The future you imagine for yourself can implode and there doesn't seem to be point to try anymor#Or you just can't see a future every being more than the same torment wheel of your everyday present.#The power of holding on a little longer - of taking things just a day at a time or even an *hour* at a time-#has been essential in my own ability to get through crisis and hardship.#We will keep going. This too shall pass. All the good and the bad things we have will change eventually.#Sometimes you get to be an active participant in that change. Sometimes it is out of your control.#I have long moved past feeling embarrassed about how much this blog and my comics means to me.#I learned how to draw yes. I also learned how to persevere and look forward to the future.#Just like with my art; I still have a long way to go! Even if my art and I are not doing so 'poorly' anymore - I want to keep improving.#Thank you Elder-Manly in particular for having been around since the early days and for all the kind words you've sent my way.#I hope you too have found brighter days in the last two years B*)
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day 129
so was anybody going to tell me @adorkastock had their own random pose generator now or was i just supposed to find that out on my own
#day 129#year 5#aradia megido#homestuck#so hey genuinely i think adorkastock taught me to draw???#well among other things obviously. BUT.#in high school when i was just starting to like. understand anatomy as skill that i could Actively Practice#instead of just drawing whatever the hell i wanted and hoping it looked okay#i spent entire art classes just TEARING thru their deviantart page and drawing my blorbos in the poses i found#because my art teacher didnt know what to do with me since i was blowing through all the regular assignments WAY too fast#so she really just let me go nuts#and this was still homestuck mind you. like. it was 2013-2014 i was very much in the rabbit hole already#so fundamentally i have changed as a person in the last decade but also no i havent#ANYWAY it was adorkastock and line of action that basically got me Actually Improving at art at that point. cant recommend them enough trul
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illario was so right... this one traumatized crow boy really can contain such a universe of pure and childlike wonder at the mere existence -- the concept! -- of wyverns. even through the horrors
#after hearing that caterina would never let him have a wyvern dagger even when he grew up rye is definitely and for sure#buying lucanis every kind of wyvern-themed thing his little special interest heart could desire.#all while keeping hard unbroken eye contact with caterina over lucanis' shoulder#bitch I'm a speaker to the dead and the dead are savage fucking TRY me if you dare I won't hesitate#(I think the more he starts to glean about lucanis' childhood the more this is just rye's general stance with caterina at all times haha#'he loves you despite everything so I won't actively make trouble here. but the ice you're on with me is SO paper thin lady'#I think caterina has enough instinct to recognize real danger honed through a long and lethal life to heed the warning)#hearing the complete unvarnished delight in his voice when you buy him the dagger in treviso was probably rye's '...oh' moment haha#his banter about potentially using the body after a contract to bait in wyverns so he could just. look at them.#because just getting to look at them would be enough.#this guy is autistic and also a huge loss to the academic field of zoology in a different life he would have written The definitive text#about wyverns. there would be nothing left to discover after he was done he'd get it all#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#lucanis dellamorte
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"Stop saying Crowley won't help Aziraphale in S3 he'd go back to him in a HEARTBEAT and nothing would stop him" I get it no one likes the idea of Crowley being bitter after what happened for a long period of time but like can we at least acknowledge that he's currently going through probably the most emotional pain in his life since falling? Can we agree that he's opened his heart entirely - something you couldn't pay him to do unless the world is literally ending and he's desperate - to Aziraphale, and got shot down? Can we understand that he did it AGAIN only to lose Aziraphale again? Not that what Aziraphale did isn't without Crowley's own shortcomings (hiding the truth of Heaven's cruelty from him) but like,,,,
The appeal here isn't Scorned Crowley Doesn't Love Aziraphale Anymore, or Never Wants To Help Him Again, the appeal here is Crowley learning enough self respect to not just walk back right to Aziraphale like nothing happened after Aziraphale has had a pattern of consistently refusing him. Going years ping-ponging between "We're not friends I don't even know him" to "That's what friends are for right?" and "We're friends, why would you even say anything?" and "Friends? We're not friends. We are an angel and a demon!"
Like I get it, Crowley is a heartbreakingly forgiving person. Of course he's gonna forgive Aziraphale, I'll be surprised if he didn't forgive him by the time he walked out the bookshop door, but gdi he could at least grant himself the luxury of being at least a little irritated for longer than however long it takes to make a globe and some books float and angrily cry out to God in his flat. But due to the change of pace and dynamic that is establishing part of the conflict for Season 3, I just really like the idea of him for ONCE prioritizing himself and being like "Okay, fine. We'll get back at it when you're ready, then," instead of just taking Aziraphale back like his words and actions meant nothing to him, when clearly they have an effect on him.
What is Aziraphale going to learn if Crowley just accepts what he did so quickly, like he always has the entire time they've been friends? Idk maybe I'm just projecting too much darkness on their dynamic but I mean, if the pattern of Aziraphale pushing Crowley away/disrespecting him one day and then being fine with his friendship the next + Crowley never stopping to be like "Hey, that's not cool, at least give me a little credit" or smth was fine all along and will continue to be fine in the future, then why, after 6,000 years of being friends and loving this demon, can Aziraphale still not accept that Crowley is just fine the way he is, and instead got excited to promote him to an angel in a heartbeat once the opportunity presented itself? You can't blame all of it on Heaven when Aziraphale has demonstrated his free will/defiance to Heaven so many times. Or, I don't know, I guess maybe we can? Maybe I'm just craving too much angst to the point where I'm letting it cloud my analysis of canon. Idk.
#derpy speaks#good omens#good omens 2#no i dont think crowley is gonna ever hate aziraphale for what happened but he's allowed to be angry#he's allowed to be done with it all. he's allowed to be exhausted. just look at his face when he drives away.#meh. idk. but i dont know how i'll feel if crowley just INSTANTLY accepts aziraphale back in a situation involving#idk - ''hey help me stop the new apocalypse''#at least. without like. SOME pushback? it can even be something small like ''are you SURE you want ME to help you? do you really need me?''#doesnt have to be a straight refusal but i'd like SOME kind of action to show that crowley is putting his foot down for once#he deserves that self respect#do NOT reply saying that im insinuating that aziraphale is actively malicious or doing it on purpose.#everything he has done up until now is his own complicated response to all the trauma and guilt he's been through#but despite that crowley is STILL allowed to be upset... it's messy. i can write a whole paper about how this whole thing#is just unfortunate on both ends. again. we didnt get queerbaited we got communication baited 😭#but help me out here. am i just too fandom-brained to have these expectations from the story?#is there something obvious im missing that is making me sound like a complete asshole here? do i need to get my head out of the gutter?#someone please explain it to me if so because whatever it is‚ i can't find it#not queued
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briefly scrolled though the bigbang subreddit like recommended and - true, it definitely is active! which is fun. one of the first things i saw is that someone got into listening gd bc they knew him from the shoe world 😭😭 i mean that's just amazing lmao
#i just randomly felt like being a little more active in the fandom again but reddit seems too overwhelming?#so im just checking if tumblr truly is dead#i havent been active obviously but now that something is happening im curious again#my husband said yday that im not a fangirl anymore#and i was like sweety.... there just hasnt been anything to fangirl over lol#we listen to home sweet home#my baby loves it. especially the live from MAMA bc she loves to dance to it#so im excited for new music#wanna know sth?#i went through my ✨memory box✨ over the weekend#i have all my flights and concert tickets and stuff#alllll my bigbang stuff. everything#i have all the cd/dvd bundles#and i NEVER WATCHED THEM#they are literally untouched#also years ago i ordered the limited edition gdragon flower? road? thing?#i dont even remember but i literally paid hundreds for it and now i took it out like#lmao i never even used the mug#remember? the one with his handprint?#anyways i made some lemon ginger tea in it lmao#and also... years ago when i went to the concerts and bought the dvds to remember them#i told myself i will watch them some day when im at home with a baby#well... girl... nows the time lol#look at me rambling! lol i guess i miss sharing my shit on here#thanks for listening. and scene
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Today has been one of those "Sorry! I couldn't hear you over the texture of my socks" days.
#autistic#actually autistic#audhd#it's so embarrassing!!!#like yes i care and yes i was listening but also no i have no idea what you just said#getting diagnosed gave me permission to admit what's REALLY wrong and also do shit outside social norms to make it suck less#but it also makes me look “weird” to non autistic people (and past me who wasn't diagnosed til my 30s)#I can remember past me saying that I couldn't be autistic because I don't do [thing] (I was powering through and suffering)#It's like... I have a mild allergy to a couple foods but didn't know for YEARS so I'd eat whatever and either suffer or take benadryl#then well into adulthood one of my friends was listening and was like DUDE YOU ARE ALLERGIC TO THAT ARE YOU KIDDING ME!???#doctor had me change my diet DRASTICALLY but the constant itchiness and sore throat and stomach pain went away#but sometimes people act weird or put out when I ask questions or refuse food#sometimes people lie and say a food is safe when it's SUPER not and then I'm having an allergic reaction on the way home#my body is permanently damaged because of decades of trying to eat like everybody else#meanwhile my mental health took that hit from decades of trying to ACT like everybody else#I'm sooo much happier now with my safe foods and silly fidgets and good textures AND I can live an active life!#but sometimes people give me funny looks when I ask for the grill to be cleaned or don't like a new shirt because it makes me anxious#hell the other day a dude gave me a weird look (and I overheard shit they said) because I HAPPY STIMMED at Hot Topic (Hazbin merch)#meanwhile my friends love my stimming because its the “Jamie barometer”#my (best friend's) mom says the biggest compliment to her cooking is when she can hear me foot tapping under the table#so... yeah#a diagnosis is permission to be me and have a better life at the cost of dealing with assholes because I'm not masking or lying anymore#bluewind talks#holy journal entry batman!#did NOT intend the tags to turn into... whatever the fuck this is XD#but if for some reason you read this far? I hope you found something in it that made you think or made you smile (if not hi anyway! ^_^)
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Someone going to therapy regularly is such a green flag 💚💚
#oh you mean to tell me you are actively working on yourself???#you’re learning any generational trauma you might have grown up with#and working through that before you have a family of your own so you don’t pass it down???#that’s so hot 🥵#I will say this now and again and a million times until my voice goes out - everyone would benefit from therapy!!!#obviously especially if you’re struggling with mental health#but also if you’re not#life is so damn hard and I think it’s so important to have a cheerleader along the way#someone you can literally tell them anything and they won’t look at you any differently#I wonder if my ex would have gone to therapy when I asked him to if we would still be together#I mean who knows#I just think *growth* is such an important part in life and therapy is so helpful with that#I don’t want to think about where I would be without therapy#and don’t get me started on the stigma of ‘of you go to therapy? you must be crazy?’ FUCK that#i will always think of someone going to therapy as a good thing and gives me so much hope#trust me I get it therapy is expensive and I’m very lucky I’m able to see a therapist#but there are programs out there that can help you find cheap (or even free depending on insurance) therapy options#rant over I was just thinking about finding out a hottie goes to therapy would make them 100000000x more attractive and husband material#shut up rosie#rosie speaks
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i redrew one of my favorite scenes from the novel! they're literally so silly. it's comedy central out here in puqi shrine
#tgcf#heaven official's blessing#xie lian#hua cheng#nan feng#tgcf comic#tgcf fanart#me 🤝 hua cheng: liking it when xie lian is mean#i just love that xie lian knows his cooking is bad and actively weaponizes it against ppl lmao#this is from the end of ch 29 (of whichever fan tl i found) btw!#i refuse to acknowledge past mistakes and so i got more than 3/4ths of the way through this thing without reading the og scene at all. so.#<- has done this before and ended up making huge lore-related errors#also im gonna take this opportunity to complain: hands are so fucking hard wtf. i used references for that closeup and it STILL killed me#i looked at my thumbnails while inking and put my head in my hands
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Hokay, we’re gonna have a small little fandom etiquette lesson here:
#Anti [Character] #[Character] Critical
See these two tags? They’re very good to use (if you want to write negative posts about a character) and very good to block (if you don’t want to see negative posts about a character)
Because yeah, you should be able to voice your opinion! You shouldn’t have to pretend to like a character just because a lot of other people seem to like them.
But maybe
Just maybe
When a character tag updates, like, once every two days on average
Maybe it can get a little tiring for people who like that character to see a bunch of hate towards that character instead of enjoyment
(And then they do stupid things like engage with and argue with that dislike instead of just blocking and moving on, which is genuinely A Dick Move most of the time)
Maybe it can get a little upsetting to see the same
Exact
Mountain of misinformation that maliciously mischaracterizes the character they like
That just gets repeated over and over and over
And stuff out the posts that are about enjoying the character within the tags
So try to use #Anti [Character] and/or #[Character] Critical when you are bringing up your grievances with a specific character, and try to block #Anti [Character] and #[Character] Critical if drama about that character is likely to upset you
Live and let live, and don’t muck up everybody else’s space to engage with what they enjoy
#fandom stuff#here I’ll even give you an example of how to use the tags#anti della duck#della duck critical#yes this is about#della duck#like seriously it’s absolutely a dick move to jump down people’s throats just because they voice grievances with her#not a cool move#THAT BEING SAID#it is ALSO not very cool to fill up the della duck tag with hate for her#and then act surprised when people get upset by that#it can be extremely upsetting to have to dig through a veritable mountain of dislike#in order to get to the parts of the tag that we’re actively looking for#(also the fact that it’s pretty much always the same exact complaints is… not fun)#(ESPECIALLY because all of those bits are either:#misinformation#issues that exist but were solved in-show#mischaracterization#mischaracterization based on a DIFFERENT character’s blatant mischaracterization in fanon#and a basic disregard of any nuance the character might have)#and like- yeah no I’m sure that stuff still Is A Thing when defending the character#it’s a fandom thing after all#insert ‘you are not immune to propaganda’ meme here but replace ‘propaganda’ with ‘fandom bullshit’#but it’s still upsetting to see#which! is why ‘anti della duck’ and ‘della duck critical’ are important tags for the fandom economy#tags created for the purpose of filtering are very good at specializing what fandom bullshit that you see
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super intrigued by the theme and content of 5sos6
#like. just thinking about what each of them have gone through the last year. is it a bad idea to guess? probably#michael became a parent which is really big. he’s been getting used to a new place. parenthood really seems to bring out the best in him#and the most classic michael things like. guitar and video games. gotta share that joy with the small human. he’s literally that person#ashton seems to be doing a lot of things he wants to and listening to himself in that way. with the cover band and drumeo and botd#and working with feldy again and showing up in australia in october to hang out with his siblings and playing shows and moving out of la#like I feel like he’s figured out a lot about himself. finding out where he’s been unsatisfied and I hope he managed to meet every need#calum went through a breakup. disappeared for a while. seems to be finding himself again since with the help of his friends#lukes had a huge year with his ep and 1000 interviews and tour which is a huge milestone for him. but he’s also been unwell for a lot of it#and he’s had to manage his ambitions and the outlet he uses to take care of himself in some ways with honouring his limits in other ways#they’ve all lost a friend too. all had to navigate what activism they do and don’t attempt. and everything else of 2024 generally#plus there’s also 2023. and looking back on the past. etc. lots of content#5 seconds of summer#5sos#5sos6 predictions#it’s also the longest gap they’ve had between albums since sgfg/yb (or will be if it’s not out by march next year)#michael clifford#ashton irwin#calum hood#luke hemmings
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hello hi i miss u all and i rly rly rly appreciate that ppl have been kind to me here. i wish i could say i will be back properly soon but honest to god i think i am going to have to exist in cockroach-survival mode for ... however long it takes to get out of this house. unfortunately that will likely take a year or two (bc waiting lists are loooong and available subsidized rental units are in very short supply in my town). and saying that, i know ppl will likely not stick around that long if i'm just inactive entirely and i absolutely do not blame them fdsjkl, but also i hope i can be active a little bit here and there so i can somewhat keep up w ppl and like. maintain friendships at least a little bit.
i wish i had better news, i wish i had something hopeful to say, i wish i had something fun to bring to the table but that is just not the cards i'm being dealt lately. trying to do the best w what i've got but. yeah. the situation is honestly Very Bad rn. with no exaggeration and in all honesty, it is quite simply all i can do to just make it through each day.
i hope everyone else is doing like... at least a little better than i am fdsjkl, and i hope good things come your way if you are reading this 💗
#trying not to say too much but. things are looking really scary and really bad rn and idk how i'm going to get through it#like it rly feels impossible rn. trying to just. hope for a miracle. and i'll be sticking it out as long as i can :') <3#trying to decide if i can stomach abandoning 98% of my belongings to like. go to a shelter or smth. but. not realistic.#too small of a town for an escape like that. plus i am materialistic and love my items very dearly :')))#anyways. again. saying too much probably. may delete this post later idk#i just feel bad that i keep being like ''going on hiatus :)'' every other week. i just gotta be honest at this point fhsdkl#idk when i will be able to be active again properly. hopefully one day !!#dandy.cmd#vent //
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#probably my last sunny walk at home :(#keeeeellll meeeee#i think one of the things i hate about going back to uni is not being able to experience autumn and winter at home like i used to#it’s weird because i’ve always loved them and considered them my favourite seasons.#but last year (and now this year) i’m realizing that oh! i think it’s because i got to come home after a long day and be in a safe familiar#space. and at uni everything is still a bit unfamiliar and not very comforting so the long cold days get so much harder#but i will surviveeeeeee#counting on gilmore girls to get me through it!! and also love is blind s7. i LOVE having things to look forward to every week it makes tim#fly by so fast. last yr every friday night was reserved for me and i ate frozen pizza or takeout and/or my favourite snacks and#watch my comfort films :( i cooked a lot those nights too 2 save money but yeah. it was rlly nice to have that comfy safe time to myself#i think it rlly got me thru uni.#ik it’s gonna be so hard to get back into a routine but im trying to tell myself that i need to like. focus on the basics first. adulting#can be so hard & i wanna do everything at once! i wanna b perfect in all areas. always do my hobbies. etc etc but i#i couldnt even get out of bed to make myself meals sometimes 💔 so i need to like remember if i don’t journal or read a whole book in a day#not the end of the world. and most importantly i need to be EATING and staying active and SLEEPING FIRST and foremost cause then hopefully#i won’t feel like a zombie.#okay anyways.#feeling sad feeling tired feeling unmotivated but also feeling a teensy bit excited for finally BEING ALONE!!!!#i have my cardiologist appt tmrw so maybe that’s why i feel so yuck also. just thinking abt it makes me wanna throw up#i hope everything goes well#anyways bye bye#♡ dear diary…
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ive been trying to think all day why im finding the heart killers so refreshing, and i think ive cracked it. its the pursuit dynamics.
and i don’t think people talk about this enough, bc in an system where we get the same actors coupled together for multiple shows, easily the best way to freshen things up is to change the pursuit dynamics. and the heart killers is a great example of that. i can’t speak a lot for joongdunk bc I haven’t seen their previous stuff in its entirety, but just compared to what i remenber, seeing dunk get to play a character that’s so openly flirty, and being the one to actively pursue feels so new and exciting. and i definitely can speak for firstkhao. in all their shows, it’s been khao’s characater that’s been pursuing and pushing for a relationship, which again makes it so refreshing to now see first’s character be so active in pursing khao’s character. like this switch up in who is the active pursuer, and then how they pursue, and how the other reacts to these advances, these are the things that make it so that we can see the same couple over and over again and still not get bored, bc there’s always a new aspect of them to see and i just think that’s awesome
#this is kind of a side tangent to something I’m always thinking about which is how we so so often like 95% majority of the time#are always following the one being pursued in a show like the story is shown through their point of view#which i just find interesting like honestly try to find me 5 shows that’s focus on the character doing the pursuing#like just think of any show where we get to see into the inner life of one character more than the other it’s always the pursuee#and if not it’ll just be equal it doesn’t focus on the pursuer#and id just love to know why like is it for storytelling or are we just trying to put the audience into the shoes of the one being pursued#so yknow we can live vicariously through them#anyway apart from that I just think these are the kinds of things that are really able to keep these pairings interesting#and it’s also why I’m looking forward to joong and dunks show next year#bc next time it’s gonna be joong who is being very active in pursuing#like that’s how you keep it fresh#and I’m so glad gmmtv seems to be catching onto this#the heart killers
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