#bluewind talks

[jamiebluewind]

Looking for book suggestions and resources for autistic adults, ESPECIALLY about what to do if diagnosed as an adult (I'm also nonbinary and afab if that helps). I'm overwhelmed by everything out there and it's hard to sort through what's good solid information, what's outdated, and what to stay away from (I've already been told to avoid Autism Speaks).

I've only had my official diagnosis two days. It's kind of wild to learn that things I attributed to my ADHD, PTSD, generalized anxiety, and depression were just... autism. Like, learning about autistic burnout and meltdown is making a lot of things make more sense. I want to learn more about autism so much (and maybe learn some new coping techniques?), but I keep hitting wall after wall of bad information and ableism. I know I'm probably just screaming into the void and hoping the void answers back, but I gotta try.

[jamiebluewind]

This didn't happen to me EXACTLY, but I DID break my ankle and after going to the hospital, they discovered that I was SEVERELY low on calcium and vitamin D, so I started taking it and a couple weeks later I noticed that my entire body didn't hurt all the time. Didn't fix everything, but boy does not having fragile bone pain all the time that feels like they are gonna break from lifting a grocery bag change a LOT.

My deepest darkest fantasy is that I collapse on the street and I am rushed to the hospital. They perform a bunch of tests and find out I am severely deficient in some kind of vitamin. Then I start taking the vitamin and I become the happiest cleverest person alive because all my problems were caused by this one deficiency

[jamiebluewind]

Honestly, I feel Janet from The Good Place. I too have people in my life that I have to say "Not a girl" to on a regular basis.

[oddclangen]

Family tree time!!!

Since FluffFluff are mates i decided too combine their families for this one.

I start on Fidgetfluff side, She is a half-clan kit and her father is a warrior of FluffyClan. Elenctrone is still alive and doing fine, but he just doesnt talk with his kits. His relationships with Condortrail where more of a one time thing after which they went on their separate ways. F

Fidgetfluff unfortunately lost all her siblings over time. Heatherkit died from heat stroke just before his apprenticeship ceremony. While Gulldusk drowned on her way off the mountain trying to join a rouge group. Her Clanmate tried to save her, but died as well.

So yeah at least Fidgetfluff has her husband.

There not much to say about Fluffbramble, he is a very sweet boy who is kind to others. He is like his mother in that regard. As of now his best friend in the Clan is Bluewind. which is fun.

[jamiebluewind]

I fired my aide

I fired my aide

Holy crap, I fired my aide

Anxiety is like

but I'm coping. I was honest with him and told him I tried so hard with him, but I couldn't risk my life. My bestie/roommate is here helping me calm down. My aide will keep working til a replacement is found (ho boy do I have feelings on THAT), but then he'll be gone. It's over.

[jamiebluewind]

I want everybody to know that I am mentally screaming to some degree over everything I reblog ever, but I used to write unique comments in every post I reblogged YEARS ago, it took me hours because I was always sincere, and when I became disabled, there wasn't enough energy to do it anymore. I felt guilty if I reblogged something that I didn't comment on some way or that I didn't tag "properly", so I stopped reblogging anything over guilt. I told myself that I would like things to reblog when I had energy... but I never had enough energy. The likes built up, the guilt ate at me because it was "such a small thing" to write on a post and it would mean so much to some people know someone appreciated what they did, the drafts became full of half finished untagged posts that never got posted that I STILL haven't gone through, and eventually? I left.

I eventually came back YEARS later to a blog with mostly dead accounts and bots as followers. I started reblogging whatever I wanted to. No "theme". No rhythm or reason. I tagged spoilers, common triggers, and maybe the fandom (if it had one), but that's it. I add a few more tags than I did when I first got back, but it's not the bloated list it was. I talk in the tags now too (instead of worrying about it impacting my "sorting system"). Occasionally I say something, but that's more because something popped in my head and not because of obligation. I don't feel like I'm failing them or playing favorites if I don't tell every person what I think about their post. I just let myself be human. Just like I would let everybody else. Just like I hope op lets themselves be.

Reblogs are how things spread. They are how my friends get what they created to a random person who might want a commission. They are how theories and headcanons and silly in jokes and information travel from one to another to another until we look down and see a number in the MILLIONS. Small actions still matter. Never appologize for doing something good just because hypothetically you could have done more.

im so so sorry to every artist who's art ive ever reblogged without gushing in the tags. you deserve it im just so tired. ill do better i promise

[letters-to-rosie]

chapter 35: soft launch, hard landing

When Powder was a child, any time late-night reruns of Bluewind would come on, Vander would call it hogwash and change the channel. They didn’t have cable, so there were only like five channels, but he would always change it. It took her a while to figure out why, but then Mrs. Garcia, her first foster mother, said something that cleared the murky waters.

Reeves was the voice of the Undercity. If anyone from south of the bridge was consulted on the show, they must’ve held similar opinions. Whenever Reeves was allowed to be more than the butt of the joke, he would dispense “knowledge” about the way trenchers thought and behaved, and nothing in the show’s universe ever contradicted him.

Once, when Powder was in treatment and taking a break from her degree, she was sitting with Vi, and she got another story. According to Vander, their birth father had made The Last Drop roar with laughter whenever he’d impersonate Reeves. That is the other side of the coin; the character is in the same breath a denigration and a tongue-in-cheek Undercity joke. Imitation is the sincerest form of mockery. As long as everyone’s in on it, it's funny. But if someone calls you Reeves and means it? Different story.

-

Powder stirs up trouble as the city plunges into (even more than usual) chaos and (day)dreams about Ekko.

[flylikeanarend]

November 29

Bluewind, started racing in circles around the center stone, to prepare just the right vibrations for everyone. Rosewind arrived and she immediately began to assist him, she made the other shapes. They moved so well together and they could like read each others thoughts. They were moving in perfect sync and with this speed, they would soon be finished, in time, before the first one arrived.

Ninja

Ninja started feeling something below his feet, it was as if tiny vibrations made the plants move a certain way, the vegetation had become less dense, and now he could see the soil, it was red and sandy. He stopped for a moment and he bend down, with his nose almost touching the ground, he could see the tiny grains of sand taking on some kind of pattern. He had not seen this before like grains of sand magically moving, but he remembered his grandfather making patterns in the sand, and saying to him, this is how you talk to the beings in the garden. He was still young, and did not quite understand what was meant by that. His grandfather had done some really weird things, like he would make really intricate detailed patterns for days and then just erase them. Now he saw those kinds of patterns taking shape right in front of his eyes. He got back up and started walking faster, he had to see who was doing that. He was very close now, there was almost no grass or flowers anymore, just very high trees, and they formed like a curtain. This place was magical, he knew the center was just behind those trees. They were enormous, and he walked carefully past them. He entered the first circle, and he was amazed, a vast space, with in the middle a huge tall standing stone and next to it, the most magnificent tree he had even seen, it seemed like it reached all the way into the clouds. The saw something blue and something pink running towards him. They stopped and stood up, Ninja forgot to breathe for a moment, they were two rabbits, they were huge. Hi there Ninja, just a second, we see that our appearance is disturbing to you, so we will change it. There was this golddust explosion and in front of him stood the most magnificent man and a woman of such extraordinary beauty he had never seen before. Better, they asked at the same time. Ninja fell to his knees and bent over, I honor you.. before he could continue what he wanted to say, Bluewind pulled him up and said, it’s okay, me might have exaggerated a little with out appearance. The last time we did that, you know roman empire, big on beauty and perfect body, you know. Ninja did not know what to say, Bluewind and Rosewind looked at him and said, come, we will brief you on the situation, soon the others will be here. You need to eat and drink something, you must be exhausted. They both put their arms around him, and guided him towards the middle of the circle, holding him well. They communicated with each other. Bluewind asked Rosewind, what is wrong with him, he does not seem to remember us, his mind has like these darkisch spots in it, what do we do. Stone did not mention this, we cannot continue with him like this, he will faint soon, when we came closer to the stone, his mind cannot carry this vibration. Rosewind changed direction and Bluewind sensed what she wanted to do, let’s go to the other side first, and get him some herbs. I brought some, but we need to sync him in. Any ideas, Rosewind asked Bluewind. They were silent for a moment, and they noticed, that Ninja had fallen asleep, they were carrying him now. You see him somewhere, Rosewind asked. This is the dream space, if you fall asleep here, you are still here, just somehere else. I will help you carry him to that spot over there, and then I will go find him, I can sense where he is, he went back to the place where he was born, you know, the equivalent garden space, he’s by the sea. Humans tend to do that, when they come here. Can you get him to stop dreaming, Bluewind asked, yes I can Rosewind said, I am fully prepared and I have all the herbs that I need with me. They had arrived at the spot where they put Ninja down, and Rosewind vanished immediately, and Bluewind continued racing the right vibrations into the earth, so all these different people would feel well, and possibly not fall asleep too. Bluewind wondered about what went wrong with Ninja, he was part of the earth and part of the sky and he heard little about what went wrong on the more dense levels of the garden. He finished making the circle vibrations and now, he started making the smaller patterns, according to the visitors who were going to be here soon. Stone had left many things to his discretion, so he trusted the opinion of Bluewind. Because of what happened with Ninja, Bluewind decided to make some extra patterns, to connect the different density levels of the garden, so it would look more familiar to the visitors. He decided to change the appearance of the big stone, and make it look like some sort of building, they would all know. He picked one of the samurai temples, it was a building that was present on many levels of density, so the vibrations would more or less fit, he would not like make an exact replica, but something very close. He made up his mind, and also like stamped the information into the earth so Rosewind would know when she came back with Ninja. He could wake up again in the Samurai temple he knew and it would be better for the person who was sick as well.

[jamiebluewind]

Watched the latest episode of Fantasy High tonight. There was much screaming and stimming.

[jamiebluewind]

My goal is to make you feel, but that's not always a good thing.

"you have a responsibility to consider how your writing would affect other people" literally 50% of writing is manipulating the audience by setting tone and mood and drawing them in to fuck with their emotions. writers do NOTHING but consider how our writing is affecting other people and this is implying that our moral imperative is to make them feel warm and fuzzy which it is not

[jamiebluewind]

Me: *just chillin*

My brain: You know what this needs? A massive unnecessary anxiety spike!

Me: No??????

My brain:

Me:

[jamiebluewind]

Hey guys, This is no grand post or something special. This is just me - a person living in the states - saying I'm here. Take a breath. This is a lul when all is quiet. Whatever happens will happen. Being glued to the news or the grand "What if?" machine won't do any of us any favors. Rest while you can and hope that tomorrow you won't need that energy to fight.

PS. Pics of my roommates' cats and my chonky boy because yall need them! (also opened my ask box)

Melanite (6 months) with her bright orange eyes

Very up cat. Very bendy. Very baby. Sounds like a squeaky toy. Makes other black cats look gray.

Her brother Eclipse (6 months) and his healed tummy after his umbilical hernia surgery! ( @winterpower98 's little man)

Fearless (help us) and cool with pretty much anything but a very tall dad who wants to pet him. Has two modes: handsome lad and derp.

My lovely boy, Danny. He's 7 years old and 16lbs!

King of random sleep positions (his fav is to hold his back feet while he snoozes). Has a stuffed puppy that he toats around (he gets upset if it's misplaced).

Finally, Koshka. The queen. 11 years old with the softest meow. TOTALLY doesn't like the kittens (but will slap anyone that messes with Melanite because that is her baby sister damn it!).

Would share more, but pic limits ack!

[jamiebluewind]

Was looking at some art and just had a thought after seeing a freshman year piece (linked below): The Rat Grinders were originally The High 5 Heros right? That changed to Rat Grinders after Lucy died. The 5 stood out to me, so I went to the wiki to double check and... yeah. Their original name had 5, not five spelled out. It sounds like a cute little name for a new adventuring party, but the thing is... there were 6 party members: Kipperlily, Ruben, Mary Ann, Oisin, Ivy, and Lucy. That made my mind go to theorizing.

What if someone wasn't always a part of their group (either literally or figuratively)?

If it was figurative, we got a situation where it's 5 party members and the extra one that was required by school rules (and that name never changed until after one of them died which is even more sad).

If it's literal, there were originally 5 party members, they chose their name based on being a 5 party member party, and somehow they eventually got a 6th member. It's not unreasonable to assume with the kidnappings and life stuff and five billion other factors that the freshman class wouldn't always be perfectly divisible by 6. That would leave one party short the first day (or with an extra person or two). There's a lot of ways to get a group of 5 to 6 if you really think about it (some of which might have been easier with Kalvaxus being in charge and/or Arthur Aguefort dead).

1. The party did part or all of freshman year as an odd group and a 6th is brought in later. In the meantime, they might have partnered with another group or got a hireling for party activities that required 6 students.

2. The school brought in a transfer or offered a spot to the best candidate/s that was still interested

3. Someone slipped in after the party formed using magic, devil's honey, or some other means/mechanic (it wouldn't even need to be at the start of the year)

4. There is an inconsistency due to the time quangle (and someone is exploiting that)

What could it mean? Who knows!? But my goodness isn't it interesting to think about?

PS: Thank you to @idonthaveanyurlideas for being the catalyst to my mad mad ravings tonight ^_^

[jamiebluewind]

I have a pretty bad food allergy, so I carry around an epipen. I've never reacted bad enough that immediate benadryl wouldn't fix my issues, but I still have an epipen. My doctor made it clear that just because I haven't needed one in the past, doesn't mean I won't react badly enough to need it in the future. So! I have them and everybody close to me know where they are and how to use them.

So what does this have to do with most of the tags I put? Right now, things are serious in the states and a lot of things can go a lot of ways for people like me. So, my autistic ass is making a metaphorical epipen (an epi-plan if you will 😎 ) for whatever may come. What to do, where to go, how to do, and all that. I'll make sure that everybody I care about knows and maybe coordinate and share information with anyone interested. And then? It goes in the junk drawer to only see the light of day when I remind everyone once a year or so and in case of something bad going down.

Am I irritated? Your god damn right I am! But I'm still chilling at home watching cats play instead of running off or acting rashly.

Do I ever want to be in a position that I need to use one (real or metaphorical)? Hell no! It's something you hope you never have to use, BUT you're grateful to have one when you need it. When things get serious, they help you make it to a place where you can get help.

[jamiebluewind]

Just a heads up guys!

I have been a fan of the band Lovejoy for a while (probably better known better for the content their lead singer Wilbur Soot/Wilbur Gold made for the Minecraft community). Recommended them to plenty of you. BUT some stuff has happened with their lead singer and I don't feel comfortable supporting him or his endeavors anymore. So! I'm going to reblog multiple things concerning it and tomorrow try to make one big masterpost with links to the posts I reblogged.

Also, remember not to judge neurodivergant fans who are attempting to untangle fixations. They are trying their best (you guys find your replacement coping techniques first and don't feel guilty or ashamed if it takes a bit).

[jamiebluewind]

I had a hemiplegic migraine yesterday which sometimes causes me to be really out of it and have a hard time communicating (or even knowing words for things like asking for pants and saying "leg sleeves" kind of bullshit). Sarah and Mom started talking because I was basically like trying to talk to someone drunk off their ass. I have NO CLUE what they were talking about because my brain was like a sieve and only caught the occasional word, but at one point mom used "her" to refer to me.

Now, I'm gender fluid and fine with any pronoun MOST OF THE TIME, but sometimes she/her feels icky. I don't know why. Ask my brain. So my faux drunk ass heard "her", pointed at mom like I was freaking Phoenix Wright from Ace Attorney, and loudly declared "wrong!"

Cue two very confused people. Poor mom was scrambling trying to figure out WHICH PART of what she just said was wrong. Sarah meanwhile sat still for a bit before she popped up and said "their!" like she had figured out a word problem. Then it clicked for mom and they both shifted to using they/them for me.

Just to be clear, they see this very impaired person point and yell "wrong" with no context, figured out it was pronouns, and fixed the problem even though the person was completely out of it and probably wouldn't remember later.

I love my new family ♡