#bluewind talks

[jamiebluewind]

As someone with a food allergy AND food sensitivities, it's been hell. Milk causes a rash, GI bleeding (which can make me lightheaded or even collapse), and bad GI inflammation and nausea to the point I can't hold down food for days or even WEEKS after exposure and even trace can make my life hell for a few days (thank you benadryl). Fresh garlic and cilantro causes anaphylaxis. I have a sensitivity to gluten which causes nausea, GI issues, and triggers migraines from all the inflammation (wild right?). To add insult to injury, I'm oat intolerant so a lot of substitute foods come at the cost of running to the bathroom.

I'm disabled and have left side weakness, so doing things like cooking for myself is hard, much less from scratch. Milk is in so many things it's ridiculous and eating out was near impossible BEFORE I had to give up gluten. I have to buy the expensive versions of stuff just so I won't experience violent nausea and pain just because I wanted to eat, but SNAP (food program) doesn't give extra benefits to cover the higher grocery cost. Sometimes I literally have to decide between skipping meals and finding something to eat that will put me through the least amount of hell. Accepting things like a homemade meal is always a risk because of just how hard it is to not miss something even when they try (sometimes I eat it anyway knowing the risks because I'm so touched when someone tries). Even safe foods and brands can change overnight and a food that used to be safe is suddenly not, but I don't know to check the ingredients because I've got it before. Grocery shopping is exhausting, frustrating, long, and filled with disappointment after disappointment because all the label reading and having to put stuff back. It makes me not have a great relationship with food and doctors often won't listen when I say I literally CAN'T eat better.

It's not just food. I've had things like soap give me a really bad rash and make me so itchy that I feel like something is crawling on me for days! I've had reactions from paint.

Prescriptions are the biggest pain outside of food I think. A lot of them have enough milk (usually just trace) to trigger a reaction in people like me. Most pharmacies in the US wont flag it because it's an inactive ingredient, so it's up to me even when I'm sick. Sometimes I have to fight my insurance for a name brand drug because generic has milk (even then the pharmacy will fill the generic half the time and I have to go in and get it fixed like with levoxyl). My insurance tried to stop covering my asthma medication because they wanted me to get on a dry powder one (lactose with milk proteins). I have to take the liquid version of a med for my anxiety, which has to be refrigerated so I just have to deal if an anxiety spike happens while I'm out of the house.

I've had people tell me to just take a lactose pill (I have a non-IgE allergy to the protein not an intolerance to the sugar!). Sometimes people accuse me of being on a fad diet when I want gluten free. I often have to put my epipen on the counter or give graphic depictions of my reactions for places to ACTUALLY be careful with my food because they often won't if I just say I have an allergy (even having a couple places put one in anyway because they thought I was lying instead of just an honest mistake). Asking food places and bakeries and whatever about their food often just gets me a shrug. I've been sent to the ER more than once. I have to pack food for when I need to go somewhere overnight. Complementary breakfasts are usually pointless for me. It's taken me years to find a nutrition drink that's not disgusting for when I'm bedridden (Kate Farms). Sometimes I eat really dumb junk food because that's the only option. Sometimes I HAVE to take a med short term that has milk because no alternative exists, which means a bland diet with benadryl for a while and some frustrating symptoms (I don't always notice until I've taken a couple doses either). There's been treatment facilities I couldn't go to and trips I couldn't go on because I "couldn't be accommodated." Hospitals that sent me home earlier because they couldn't feed me or the kitchen already messed up once. My bio family was cruel to me. Sometimes depression gets hard to work through when literally THE WORLD IS BUILT TO NOT LET YOU EAT.

Tldr: People with food allergies go through hell, so contacting companies to complain, looking into options, or just buying versions that are safe for us to increase demand can be a big help. For example, vegans literally help me have food options!

Not to make a serious post too much but remember how angry everyone rightly was about bread companies adding sesame because it's cheaper to poison people than clean your machinery?

Yeah well it's happening in other foods. I already posted about Kellogg's doing it to cereal bars and Austin Snack Crackers but now it's in greens CVS granola bars and Jenny Fucking Craig cheesecake which btw record level they added EVERY allergen to that shit.

[jamiebluewind]

Looking for book suggestions and resources for autistic adults, ESPECIALLY about what to do if diagnosed as an adult (I'm also nonbinary and afab if that helps). I'm overwhelmed by everything out there and it's hard to sort through what's good solid information, what's outdated, and what to stay away from (I've already been told to avoid Autism Speaks).

I've only had my official diagnosis two days. It's kind of wild to learn that things I attributed to my ADHD, PTSD, generalized anxiety, and depression were just... autism. Like, learning about autistic burnout and meltdown is making a lot of things make more sense. I want to learn more about autism so much (and maybe learn some new coping techniques?), but I keep hitting wall after wall of bad information and ableism. I know I'm probably just screaming into the void and hoping the void answers back, but I gotta try.

[jamiebluewind]

Honestly, I feel Janet from The Good Place. I too have people in my life that I have to say "Not a girl" to on a regular basis.

[jamiebluewind]

I fired my aide

I fired my aide

Holy crap, I fired my aide

Anxiety is like

but I'm coping. I was honest with him and told him I tried so hard with him, but I couldn't risk my life. My bestie/roommate is here helping me calm down. My aide will keep working til a replacement is found (ho boy do I have feelings on THAT), but then he'll be gone. It's over.

[jamiebluewind]

This didn't happen to me EXACTLY, but I DID break my ankle and after going to the hospital, they discovered that I was SEVERELY low on calcium and vitamin D, so I started taking it and a couple weeks later I noticed that my entire body didn't hurt all the time. Didn't fix everything, but boy does not having fragile bone pain all the time that feels like they are gonna break from lifting a grocery bag change a LOT.

My deepest darkest fantasy is that I collapse on the street and I am rushed to the hospital. They perform a bunch of tests and find out I am severely deficient in some kind of vitamin. Then I start taking the vitamin and I become the happiest cleverest person alive because all my problems were caused by this one deficiency

[oddclangen]

Family tree time!!!

Since FluffFluff are mates i decided too combine their families for this one.

I start on Fidgetfluff side, She is a half-clan kit and her father is a warrior of FluffyClan. Elenctrone is still alive and doing fine, but he just doesnt talk with his kits. His relationships with Condortrail where more of a one time thing after which they went on their separate ways. F

Fidgetfluff unfortunately lost all her siblings over time. Heatherkit died from heat stroke just before his apprenticeship ceremony. While Gulldusk drowned on her way off the mountain trying to join a rouge group. Her Clanmate tried to save her, but died as well.

So yeah at least Fidgetfluff has her husband.

There not much to say about Fluffbramble, he is a very sweet boy who is kind to others. He is like his mother in that regard. As of now his best friend in the Clan is Bluewind. which is fun.

[letters-to-rosie]

chapter 35: soft launch, hard landing

When Powder was a child, any time late-night reruns of Bluewind would come on, Vander would call it hogwash and change the channel. They didn’t have cable, so there were only like five channels, but he would always change it. It took her a while to figure out why, but then Mrs. Garcia, her first foster mother, said something that cleared the murky waters.

Reeves was the voice of the Undercity. If anyone from south of the bridge was consulted on the show, they must’ve held similar opinions. Whenever Reeves was allowed to be more than the butt of the joke, he would dispense “knowledge” about the way trenchers thought and behaved, and nothing in the show’s universe ever contradicted him.

Once, when Powder was in treatment and taking a break from her degree, she was sitting with Vi, and she got another story. According to Vander, their birth father had made The Last Drop roar with laughter whenever he’d impersonate Reeves. That is the other side of the coin; the character is in the same breath a denigration and a tongue-in-cheek Undercity joke. Imitation is the sincerest form of mockery. As long as everyone’s in on it, it's funny. But if someone calls you Reeves and means it? Different story.

-

Powder stirs up trouble as the city plunges into (even more than usual) chaos and (day)dreams about Ekko.

[jamiebluewind]

Watched the latest episode of Fantasy High tonight. There was much screaming and stimming.

[jamiebluewind]

I want everybody to know that I am mentally screaming to some degree over everything I reblog ever, but I used to write unique comments in every post I reblogged YEARS ago, it took me hours because I was always sincere, and when I became disabled, there wasn't enough energy to do it anymore. I felt guilty if I reblogged something that I didn't comment on some way or that I didn't tag "properly", so I stopped reblogging anything over guilt. I told myself that I would like things to reblog when I had energy... but I never had enough energy. The likes built up, the guilt ate at me because it was "such a small thing" to write on a post and it would mean so much to some people know someone appreciated what they did, the drafts became full of half finished untagged posts that never got posted that I STILL haven't gone through, and eventually? I left.

I eventually came back YEARS later to a blog with mostly dead accounts and bots as followers. I started reblogging whatever I wanted to. No "theme". No rhythm or reason. I tagged spoilers, common triggers, and maybe the fandom (if it had one), but that's it. I add a few more tags than I did when I first got back, but it's not the bloated list it was. I talk in the tags now too (instead of worrying about it impacting my "sorting system"). Occasionally I say something, but that's more because something popped in my head and not because of obligation. I don't feel like I'm failing them or playing favorites if I don't tell every person what I think about their post. I just let myself be human. Just like I would let everybody else. Just like I hope op lets themselves be.

Reblogs are how things spread. They are how my friends get what they created to a random person who might want a commission. They are how theories and headcanons and silly in jokes and information travel from one to another to another until we look down and see a number in the MILLIONS. Small actions still matter. Never appologize for doing something good just because hypothetically you could have done more.

im so so sorry to every artist who's art ive ever reblogged without gushing in the tags. you deserve it im just so tired. ill do better i promise

[jamiebluewind]

Me: *just chillin*

My brain: You know what this needs? A massive unnecessary anxiety spike!

Me: No??????

My brain:

Me:

[jamiebluewind]

Hey guys, This is no grand post or something special. This is just me - a person living in the states - saying I'm here. Take a breath. This is a lul when all is quiet. Whatever happens will happen. Being glued to the news or the grand "What if?" machine won't do any of us any favors. Rest while you can and hope that tomorrow you won't need that energy to fight.

PS. Pics of my roommates' cats and my chonky boy because yall need them! (also opened my ask box)

Melanite (6 months) with her bright orange eyes

Very up cat. Very bendy. Very baby. Sounds like a squeaky toy. Makes other black cats look gray.

Her brother Eclipse (6 months) and his healed tummy after his umbilical hernia surgery! ( @winterpower98 's little man)

Fearless (help us) and cool with pretty much anything but a very tall dad who wants to pet him. Has two modes: handsome lad and derp.

My lovely boy, Danny. He's 7 years old and 16lbs!

King of random sleep positions (his fav is to hold his back feet while he snoozes). Has a stuffed puppy that he toats around (he gets upset if it's misplaced).

Finally, Koshka. The queen. 11 years old with the softest meow. TOTALLY doesn't like the kittens (but will slap anyone that messes with Melanite because that is her baby sister damn it!).

Would share more, but pic limits ack!

[jamiebluewind]

Was looking at some art and just had a thought after seeing a freshman year piece (linked below): The Rat Grinders were originally The High 5 Heros right? That changed to Rat Grinders after Lucy died. The 5 stood out to me, so I went to the wiki to double check and... yeah. Their original name had 5, not five spelled out. It sounds like a cute little name for a new adventuring party, but the thing is... there were 6 party members: Kipperlily, Ruben, Mary Ann, Oisin, Ivy, and Lucy. That made my mind go to theorizing.

What if someone wasn't always a part of their group (either literally or figuratively)?

If it was figurative, we got a situation where it's 5 party members and the extra one that was required by school rules (and that name never changed until after one of them died which is even more sad).

If it's literal, there were originally 5 party members, they chose their name based on being a 5 party member party, and somehow they eventually got a 6th member. It's not unreasonable to assume with the kidnappings and life stuff and five billion other factors that the freshman class wouldn't always be perfectly divisible by 6. That would leave one party short the first day (or with an extra person or two). There's a lot of ways to get a group of 5 to 6 if you really think about it (some of which might have been easier with Kalvaxus being in charge and/or Arthur Aguefort dead).

1. The party did part or all of freshman year as an odd group and a 6th is brought in later. In the meantime, they might have partnered with another group or got a hireling for party activities that required 6 students.

2. The school brought in a transfer or offered a spot to the best candidate/s that was still interested

3. Someone slipped in after the party formed using magic, devil's honey, or some other means/mechanic (it wouldn't even need to be at the start of the year)

4. There is an inconsistency due to the time quangle (and someone is exploiting that)

What could it mean? Who knows!? But my goodness isn't it interesting to think about?

PS: Thank you to @idonthaveanyurlideas for being the catalyst to my mad mad ravings tonight ^_^

[jamiebluewind]

My goal is to make you feel, but that's not always a good thing.

"you have a responsibility to consider how your writing would affect other people" literally 50% of writing is manipulating the audience by setting tone and mood and drawing them in to fuck with their emotions. writers do NOTHING but consider how our writing is affecting other people and this is implying that our moral imperative is to make them feel warm and fuzzy which it is not

[jamiebluewind]

I have a pretty bad food allergy, so I carry around an epipen. I've never reacted bad enough that immediate benadryl wouldn't fix my issues, but I still have an epipen. My doctor made it clear that just because I haven't needed one in the past, doesn't mean I won't react badly enough to need it in the future. So! I have them and everybody close to me know where they are and how to use them.

So what does this have to do with most of the tags I put? Right now, things are serious in the states and a lot of things can go a lot of ways for people like me. So, my autistic ass is making a metaphorical epipen (an epi-plan if you will 😎 ) for whatever may come. What to do, where to go, how to do, and all that. I'll make sure that everybody I care about knows and maybe coordinate and share information with anyone interested. And then? It goes in the junk drawer to only see the light of day when I remind everyone once a year or so and in case of something bad going down.

Am I irritated? Your god damn right I am! But I'm still chilling at home watching cats play instead of running off or acting rashly.

Do I ever want to be in a position that I need to use one (real or metaphorical)? Hell no! It's something you hope you never have to use, BUT you're grateful to have one when you need it. When things get serious, they help you make it to a place where you can get help.

[jamiebluewind]

Just a heads up guys!

I have been a fan of the band Lovejoy for a while (probably better known better for the content their lead singer Wilbur Soot/Wilbur Gold made for the Minecraft community). Recommended them to plenty of you. BUT some stuff has happened with their lead singer and I don't feel comfortable supporting him or his endeavors anymore. So! I'm going to reblog multiple things concerning it and tomorrow try to make one big masterpost with links to the posts I reblogged.

Also, remember not to judge neurodivergant fans who are attempting to untangle fixations. They are trying their best (you guys find your replacement coping techniques first and don't feel guilty or ashamed if it takes a bit).

[jamiebluewind]

I had a hemiplegic migraine yesterday which sometimes causes me to be really out of it and have a hard time communicating (or even knowing words for things like asking for pants and saying "leg sleeves" kind of bullshit). Sarah and Mom started talking because I was basically like trying to talk to someone drunk off their ass. I have NO CLUE what they were talking about because my brain was like a sieve and only caught the occasional word, but at one point mom used "her" to refer to me.

Now, I'm gender fluid and fine with any pronoun MOST OF THE TIME, but sometimes she/her feels icky. I don't know why. Ask my brain. So my faux drunk ass heard "her", pointed at mom like I was freaking Phoenix Wright from Ace Attorney, and loudly declared "wrong!"

Cue two very confused people. Poor mom was scrambling trying to figure out WHICH PART of what she just said was wrong. Sarah meanwhile sat still for a bit before she popped up and said "their!" like she had figured out a word problem. Then it clicked for mom and they both shifted to using they/them for me.

Just to be clear, they see this very impaired person point and yell "wrong" with no context, figured out it was pronouns, and fixed the problem even though the person was completely out of it and probably wouldn't remember later.

I love my new family ♡