#but joke or not i hope you know that all those artists are grateful for every reblog

[jamiebluewind]

I want everybody to know that I am mentally screaming to some degree over everything I reblog ever, but I used to write unique comments in every post I reblogged YEARS ago, it took me hours because I was always sincere, and when I became disabled, there wasn't enough energy to do it anymore. I felt guilty if I reblogged something that I didn't comment on some way or that I didn't tag "properly", so I stopped reblogging anything over guilt. I told myself that I would like things to reblog when I had energy... but I never had enough energy. The likes built up, the guilt ate at me because it was "such a small thing" to write on a post and it would mean so much to some people know someone appreciated what they did, the drafts became full of half finished untagged posts that never got posted that I STILL haven't gone through, and eventually? I left.

I eventually came back YEARS later to a blog with mostly dead accounts and bots as followers. I started reblogging whatever I wanted to. No "theme". No rhythm or reason. I tagged spoilers, common triggers, and maybe the fandom (if it had one), but that's it. I add a few more tags than I did when I first got back, but it's not the bloated list it was. I talk in the tags now too (instead of worrying about it impacting my "sorting system"). Occasionally I say something, but that's more because something popped in my head and not because of obligation. I don't feel like I'm failing them or playing favorites if I don't tell every person what I think about their post. I just let myself be human. Just like I would let everybody else. Just like I hope op lets themselves be.

Reblogs are how things spread. They are how my friends get what they created to a random person who might want a commission. They are how theories and headcanons and silly in jokes and information travel from one to another to another until we look down and see a number in the MILLIONS. Small actions still matter. Never appologize for doing something good just because hypothetically you could have done more.

im so so sorry to every artist who's art ive ever reblogged without gushing in the tags. you deserve it im just so tired. ill do better i promise

[morbus-mlm]

Gravity Falls Headcanons/Things I Think About Often (1,2)

⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋ ⍋

- Mabel's modern artist who we heavily associate her with is Chappell Roan, especially her with the song HOT TO GO! Dipper deserves the same treatment but with Conan Gray okay. I need to see an edit of this silly guy set to Lonely Dancers.

- Pacifica lets her natural hair out once she leaves her family. It's closer to an ash blonde

- Wendy has always been a horror movie girlie, she's seen it all.

- Some of Wendy's friends made those "summoning ___ at 4 am" videos because they were bored, what else is there to do around this town anyways?

- pacifica is a youtuber, she's also a pretty sucessful pro-gamer. She is canonically very good with fps,

- dipper creates some sort of mystery solving/ghost hunting/conspiracy analyzing show. It's a continuation on stuff he did in childhood (Dipper's Guide to the Unexplained).

- Mabel cannot be contained by a job title, she has done everything and anything creative. I feel like her main job would be something like a tattoo artist but on the side she sells sweaters on etsy, does drawing comms, animated, made music, she has her hands everywhere.

- Mabel, Paz, & Dipper will sometimes visit each other when working. I like the idea of Paz guesting on an episode of Dipper's mystery show, Mabel trying to play fps with Paz, Dipper visiting Mabel's tattoo shop and getting pierced there.

- Soos' keyboard getting decorated by the people he considers family. It starts with Mabel putting on like, five stickers on the bottom of it. Stan & Ford both carve into the sides of it. Dipper draws on it in marker. Melody writes words of affection on the sides/an inside joke between them. Abuelita is the one who etches Soos' name onto the keyboard case. Wendy writes like a cool, motivational quote on the case.

- the Hand Witch, her whole situation is looking towards the better. She and her man read as that one meme, "my witch gf" "me letting her do whatever the hell she wants"

- Wendy modifies her furbies. She is absolutely one of those people who makes long neck furbies and puts lights in their eyes/ears, she gives them hands.

- Emma-May & Fiddleford do not reconnect. Emma doesn't know about Fidd's work in the portal, but she does know about him losing his sanity. She does feel sympathetic and understanding towards his situation, but ultimately she doesn't want to force a romantic dynamic with him.

- There are parts of her that have moved on, there are parts of her that still feel anger, and sadness over what happened between them. She's happy that he's in a better state now and reconnecting with their son. Emma-May writes to Fiddleford, hoping that he has a good recovery.

- Fiddleford writes a single letter to her. He writes that he is sorry for not being their to support her, to help her raise their child. I feel like he would be very apologetic but not self-aggrandizing.

- There are parts of him that are still angry at himself, and ones that still wish to avoid dealing with such a difficult and messy situation. But he is a man who moves forward. He writes that he's grateful for Emma-May's wishes, and he wishes her well in return.

- Although their romantic bond with each other has severed, their relationship ends on a kind note.

- ford plays the fiddle, fiddleford plays the banjo.

- If Ford and Fidd were in a romantic relationship, those two would be reserved in public, but real tender in private. Those two read to me as more reserved with their romances.

- Stan after a while just tunes out their calls to each other. They will get in the fucking, "no you hang up" loop, or the "ily" loop

- they’re both pretty healthy when it comes to communication, boundaries, stuff like that. Ford drops the banjo curfew/cutoff when Guck lives at the shack/sets up his trailer next to it.

- Ford unlearns a lot of things instilled in him as a child. the ideas of him being the golden boy or something special (both in the positive and negative sense), are something he now recognizes as ideas, not reality.

- this realization really sets in for him due to a lot of reading, him catching up on modern sciences, including psychology. (it's mostly him almost losing stan)

- Stanley is trying to do the same with his own thoughts of being the screw up, the scapegoat, it's hard for him in different ways. Stanley is a person who, "would insult himself first before anyone else could get to it" without his bravado+con-man persona.

- But they both put in the work. They're good brothers, they help each other.

- both the grunkles favorite sweet after all these years is saltwater taffee, 

- I feel like Pacifica connects well with the adults in the town who aren't her parents. She doesn't exactly see any person as a parental figure, I think she just absorbs advice and experience from the people around her yk. Like her and Lazy Susan definitely have a stronger bond than Paz and her mom.

- Bill never really comes back, he just speaks like he has. In TBoB he acts like he's tough shit, but ultimately he's still in the psych ward-- like. This being has no real authority. I like to think therapy is working out for him, he has good days and bad days.

- Just based on my recollection, McGucket is a very agile man. He seems to be able to crawl up & down surfaces not built for climbing.

- I like to think that post series he takes up mountain climbing/hiking because by this point, he's less scared of supernatural beings compared to when he first came to Gravity Falls.

- McGucket dressing himself, McGucket finally being in a position where he can afford different clothing other than his slacks, him feeling present in his own body again. McGucket in green cowboy wear, (look i really like this Appalachian man, i would very much like to see him old and happy).

- Mystery trio (Stan, Ford, & Fidd) post-cannon. The twins travel the world, occasionally bringing Fidd along for the ride. Fidd is their guy in the chair, the person creating tech on the fly, their #1 man. These three men are absolutely on their way to adventure.

- the X-Men movies hold a soft spot for the Pines Family. They have all of them on DVD, usually the collectors editions. All of the Pines have a crush on Logan. The Stans both love older Logan—

- Mabel's room/home would be filled with little collectables (like tchotchkes or sonny angels)

- Stanley meets the Peanuts artists/goes to Knotsberry Farm. Stan gets a hug from Snoopy and he starts bawling.

- Shermie. I do not care if he is the elder or the younger, all I know is that he is the calmer sibling of the three. Is he well adjusted, (no, you kinda can't be if you were raised by Fillbrick), but he is the most normal.

- Stan's art is clearly influenced by the Peanuts, Ford's art influences are 80s sci-fi + realism. Shermie, his is Hanna-Barbera.

[agustdef]

Will You

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x Black!Reader

Genre: Fluff; Idol AU/Idolverse

Word Count: 3k

Warning: Light Language

Rating: PG-13

Beta Reader: @hobeemin

A/N: This was due to idk and I have so many ideas that I simply didn’t write a ff that ended up posted for much too long. So here’s to hoping to finishing these ideas.

“And without further ado, I am more than happy to introduce you to our keynote speaker Ms. YN LN.”

Clapping fills the room, and Jungkook joins in a beat late. His mind wandered as he’d listened to the other speakers for almost an hour. They’d all had interesting things to say, but something about being in a room with all these people with a person at a podium felt too much like school. Plus, a few of them seemed just to enjoy hearing themselves talk.

He refused to admit that to YN, though.

His beautiful girlfriend tried to give him an out when he said he’d come with her for this event. Told him how boring it would be and that she didn’t mind if he just did something else until she was done. Of course, he pushed for it, and she relented with one final warning about how he’d be bored as hell. To a degree, he’d known that going into it, but he wanted to support her. And to see her in her element.

Though they both work in the same industry, they’re on different ends of it. Jungkook as an artist and occasional writer, while YN worked legal. Their first encounter was when an American artist friend of his invited her out to dinner as a thank you for helping him with a contract issue with his label. They’d made him promises and tried to backtrack when it was time for the new contract. YN worked at a firm that specialized in that kind of thing, though they usually worked with smaller artists. His friend had been her big break, bringing in business and a promotion.

Of course, Jungkook was too much of a punk to ask her for her number at that meeting. He was too nervous about if it was forward, and he didn’t want to mess with the mostly professional nature of the event. But he got her card, and that was enough.

Until they kept bumping into each other at the more business-like industry events. Well, half bumping into each other and the other half him hunting down her name on programs and making sure to show up to those panels or events. It made him feel like a little bit of a stalker, but to combat that, he finally got his shit together and asked her out after running into her at a restaurant. 

Grateful to not be turned down was an understatement.

As they got to know each other, he felt himself fall hard and fast. She was perfect. Not in how one thinks when they hear the word, but in how that worked for him. That made their relationship work through the lows as well as the highs. 

I love you slipped out of his mouth five months in. 

If that didn’t explain why he put himself through this boredom, nothing, else would at least not in a way that made sense. His members still sometimes looked at him crazy with how he felt about her and how he could only sometimes find the words to explain it in a coherent way.

“I promise to try not making this too boring for y’all. I can not, however promise it won’t be boring at all. My line of work has to have some pitfalls besides all that paperwork,” YN joked.

The entire room laughs. It’s not the funniest thing in the world, but the way she delivers it and the energy she exudes as a person gets to people. It’s why Jungkook lets out a laugh that’s a little too loud and draws the attention of those around him. And of YN, though she doesn’t look his way to make that clear. He just nose from the way she pauses for a second longer, and her smile widens. 

Embarrassed isn’t even the right word for him at the moment. Part of him wants to flee the room, but he stays in his seat. It helps that anyone who side eyes him switches to being shocked to see him there. Being identified as a member of BTS is what he can handle; being embarrassed is not, despite what his variety show content and the lives over the years might suggest.

To let the feeling pass, he focused on the stage. Well, on YN.

“For those who don’t know me, I’m YN LN, and I've been working at Heights Law for the last six or seven years,. We specialize in fair contracts for indie artists. From things with their label to tours, merchandise, the people they hire, and even contracts between members if it’s a group. About thirty-five percent of those we work with don’t even have a label they’re signed to and don’t want to. And then about twenty percent of our clients are more mainstream artists looking for the same services.

We don’t work with any sort of label because we feel it ties us to worrying too much about keeping on their good side when trying to figure things out. And while we are not on a mission to do anything that would be, for the lack of a better word, line crossing with the people we are trying to get to sign the contracts, our clients come first. That’s made us stand out in a way y’all may have heard about a time or two. I’d like to personally apologize for making you sit through articles about a certain label trying to screw over up and coming artist Minx and all the weird things that were honestly not so weird about her tour rider.”

Again laughter, but with some whispers and grumbles thrown in. That entire situation had everyone in the industry confused as hell, and for the last few months, they thought Minx was trying to be greedy until everything was settled and it was shown that all her asks weren’t as crazy as they’d seemed. Even Jungkook found himself looking at YN like she’d lost it with every new bit of information that was released. He’d asked her about it, but she gave him a look, and he had to wait out the outcome like everyone else. 

“And for this, I think Minx is the perfect situation to discuss. I mean, when else will you see how things can go when a former lawyer turned pop star wants to sign with the label she used to work for but knows all their tricks.”

That was all it took to have people enthralled. After everything settled, everyone still had a million questions about it, but they were still waiting for someone at the firm to answer them. Jungkook had the fortune of dating YN around the time, so he got her to tell him, and Minx had invited them somewhere and told him more. So, he knew everything.

Which meant he could just stare at her. He didn’t think of himself as the type to be much of a creepy person, even if him trying to run into her wasn’t a clear indication of that. That and that looking at her was one of his favorite pastimes. 

YNs cute.

He would and did use a million words to describe her. But the first thought in his brain when he saw her was how cute she was, and he felt his heart triple in size from that alone. Her genuine smile and soft features do a lot to counteract the fact that she’s only an inch shorter than me, which throws people off when they meet her and had only seen her face before.

Those legs of hers, when she wears heels, drive Jungkook absolutely feral. And he has to fight off the thought of them as his mind spirals. He focused instead on the light tint of pink pushing through the brown skin because of all the bright lighting, the way there’s a stray piece of hair not as curly as the rest that she swears isn’t from heat damage, and she can fix, the soft red of her lips, and the way every part of her body seems light and open as she talks about a subject she loves. A look he’s familiar with and is how he knows she looks at him. 

More than anything, Jungkook is sure that YN loves him as much as he loves her, and like a revelation, he knows how much that is. How much space that love takes up in him, to the point that sometimes it feels like it’s overflowing. Right now, it feels like it’s overflowing.

“Questions?”

That one word pulls him out of his head, but he looks at YN with a clarity he didn’t have a few minutes ago, let alone a few hours ago.

Someone clears their throat, but his eyes don’t leave her.

“Why not just go with what the label wanted? I mean, sure, Minx had the background, but that shouldn’t make her any different than any other artist. Should she not be thankful to get into the place twice on different sides of it?”

There was agreement in the crowd, but it died out quickly with everyone else's quietness drop quiet.

Despite the shift in vibes, there’s a smile on YN’s face. 

“Why do you think that? Is it because others don’t have that same knowledge? I can see how that could be seen as unfair because it is. But because she has the background,, she used it to help herself best,, which made it so we could best help her and those in the future. However, I can assure you that they changed their contract language a lot since then. Height and many other firms who deal with them and this kind of thing all saw a shift for the better and for the worst with them. So, while you may wonder why Minx didn’t simply take what she should be lucky to have gotten from them, I hope you’re settled by the fact that unless the rare thing happens. Someone else does the same thing, no one else will be able to give the insight on how to best make the next contract work for the client in the way she did.”

The response is assertive, sarcastic, and professionally annoyed. It doesn’t leave room for anyone to say anything that doesn’t make them look any more like an ass. But the man at the podium opens his mouth a few times to try and figure out what to say. In the end, he walks away from the mic with his head down. Jungkook is sure that if it weren’t for pride, he would walk out of the room altogether.

“Any more questions,” YN said after a moment.

There’s one that Jungkook has. One he needs answered, but he finds himself glued to his seat.

Several people go up and ask their questions, all of them better than the first one, though some of them toe the line. There are also a few that Jungkook would deem flirting, but they don’t bother him. Not with the thoughts swarming around in his head.

Before he knows it, she answers the last question, and everyone is dismissed. A few linger to talk, but with this day being so packed, everyone wants to rush off to the next talk or event happening.

He sits in the seat for about fifteen minutes before she walks up to him, and when she puts her hand on his shoulder, he looks up at her startled, even though he watched her approach him.

“Ready to go?”

Jungkook’s mouth opens and closes as he stares at her. He feels all over the place, but none of it’s uncertainty or doubt.

“I have a question,” he managed.

“Huh?”

“I have a question. I didn’t get the chance to ask it in there. I was… I’m nervous to ask it, and I couldn’t do it in there.”

YN frowned. “You can always ask me anything, my love. No need to be nervous about it. Plus, I’m sure yours is better than some of the bullshit I get asked in general when it comes to work.”

For a moment, Jungkook says nothing. All he can do is stare at her and try to keep his breathing normal. The latter is the hardest part, but YN takes his hand in hers and squeezes it tight.

Taking a breath, he gets to his feet, takes both of her hands in his, and stares into her eyes. He’s more than sure about what he has to say.

“Will you marry me?”

“Yes.”

Question nor answer was said with any hesitation. However, Jungkook could tell that YN was still trying to process what was happening. He was too, but that wasn’t important now.

After a second, Jungkook released one of her hands, and with the other firm in his grasp, he led her out of the room. He hears her ask a question, but it doesn’t fully register in his brain. All his focus is on weaving through the crowd of people and out the door of the convention center. The place isn’t as isolated as some can be, so he walked past the parking lot where his car is and made his way past the hotel they were staying at.

“Where are we going?”

“Jungkook?”

“Jay?”

There’s a loud exhale too, but Jungkook paid it no mind. He’s on a mission. 

“For goodness sake, Kookie.”

YN matches his pace though she’s clearly confused by what the hell is happening. He knew he should say something, but couldn’t find his words just yet, so he kept walking until ten minutes later, they were in front of a popular celebrity-use jewelry store.

A few of the things he bought for himself and others - YN included - were from here, so he had a code that they gave him to get in. The door buzzed them in, and the moment that they walked in, there was a person there and ready to help. Though it might not be obvious to most, it was clear from the knowing smile on the woman’s face she knew what was up. 

Didn’t stop Jungkook from being so flustered, though. 

“Hi. Engagement rings. I mean, we would like to see engagement rings.”

Without a word, she directed them to the back of the store. They followed close behind her, and when they entered the room, she’s taking them to another person is setting down a tray of rings, with others sitting on a cart behind him.

Yeah, she knew.

Once everything is on the table, the man leaves, and they’re directed to sit. The woman who welcomed them stands on the other side of the table.

“This is a collection of all the rings we sell in the store. Though there are others, we can have custom made if what you see in front of you isn’t the right fit or you want a mix of styles. There’s a mix of the traditional sort and the non-traditional. Some are even without diamonds. Please, take your time to look through them and see if something catches your eye.”

Then she’s gone, and all the sound goes with her.

“We’re doing this?”

“You asked me.”

“True.”

Jungkook finally turns and looks at her, and despite all the nerves he’s feeling about if she’ll take it back, there’s a smile on her face. And a lack of anxiety like what’s going through him. Though he can tell, she’s a little thrown off by it all.

“I did. And I want to.”

“Then we better start looking, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

All the tension that was once there leaves the room, and they both turn their attention to the hundreds of rings in front of them. It’s an overwhelming site, but they dive into them. Jungkook tries to get YN to try some on, but she says that she doesn’t want to just yet, so they set them on the empty tray right in front of them. 

Each one feels perfect to Jungkook, but not right. More of the diamond rings that look how he’s used to seeing American engagement rings look like end up on the tray, which isn’t much of a shock with YN’s usual preferences.

A tray marked as morganite is second to last, and Jungkook almost avoids it, but then one ring calls to him. His eyes zone in on it, and he reaches for it just as YN gasps. His neck nearly breaks when he turns to look at her, but the slight pain means nothing as he follows her gaze to the ring he was reaching for.

Without another thought, he picks it up, takes her hand, and slides it into place. Though it’s a little loose, it fits her finger. The oval champagne colored gem is on a white gold band and surrounded on either side with diamonds that fan out, almost like leaves on the stem of a flower. They wrap perfectly around her finger and stop before they reach the palm side. Everything about it is YN. Is them.

“Perfection,” YN whispered.

“Yeah.”

And like the whirlwind that this was, Jungkook was happy to find that they had the same ring, the right size, on the premises, and he paid for it right then and there. It only left YN’s finger so they could clean it, and then it was on again.

They walked out of the room, and both were on a cloud. All those nerves Jungkook felt before were gone, but something else replaced it.

“I guess we have a wedding to plan. I can’t imagine when we’d even have it,” YN said.

“Now.”

Not the least bit startled, she turned to him with a raised brow. 

“Now?”

“I… I don’t know. Maybe?”

Silence sat between them for what felt like forever, and then YN turned her attention back to the jeweler.

“We need to see wedding bands, too,” she said, then turned back to Jungkook. “And you need to start making phone calls.”

[welcomehomediscordserver]

(joking) CW: AGGRESSIVE SUPPORT AND LOVE FOR CLOWN FROM THE MOD TEAM AND MEMBERS OVER AT OUR DISCORD SERVER !!

I have found joy in your little show that I rarely find in things. The overwhelming love and care I have not just for these specific characters but for your art and talent as a whole is astounding. I want you to know that your community, the good parts of it, support you in any endeavor you choose to take. Although this project may have blasted your popularity you are 3-dimensional, you are much more than the creator of welcome home. You are a multi-medial, skilled, talented, and strong artistic being. Throughout all of this I have had nothing but the utmost respect for you. I will continue to no matter what. Just know we over at The Welcome Home discord server have been following your art closely and appreciating every detail! Do what is best for you clown, and continue to do so! -Reggie

It's been a while since something has grabbed me like this... Welcome Home is one of the most precious things I have ever seen, the creation has and will it always have a place in my heart. Thank You creator for sharing this piece of you heart with us. But your safety is more important, I hope that you'll be safe. -Jax

"dear clown, from the heart of one fan to many others, i find so much comfort in your project that i hope that even when things just like now are awful, you know that there's people simultaneously supporting you in every step of the way! We can wait however long you believe is necessary, you deserve to feel respected with your own passion project! And with that to a close, i wish you well! Thank you for giving us a grand welcome home!" -gremints

dear clown, you don't know me. i don't know you either. but everything you've been working on? it's changed my life. and i know that sounds cliche and silly, but it's true. you've inspired me to keep working on my own passion projects, to keep going. because of you, i have found a little community to call home. because of you, i have rekindled my love of silliness and color and creativity. i cannot thank you enough. without you, i would not have found the friends i have now. whatever you do, i want you to know that we're here to support it. and i hope that wherever you go, you also find home. - moth

Hi you dont know me but im Bug, one of the mods^^, I just want to start my message with this, Before I found welcome home, everything for me was going downhill, I had lost so much that was important to me in less than 2 weeks, I couldn't get out of bed and I wasn't doing my favorite things anymore. I couldn't even smile, My eyes were tired and heavy from crying. But thanks to you, Clown. Wonderful you..and your beautiful vibrant creation. With characters I saw and adored right away. I've smiled, danced, sang my favorite songs again, met new and amazing friends & began to draw again. I felt happiness faster than I thought I would again. A peace from your life helped heal some of mine and I'm grateful. Your creations bring me and so many others joy, But even then it as not as important as you. Yes It brings many smiles to people and i hope that doesn't sound to overwhelming.. But although we can't fix the issue people have caused you, we can't apologize for those who don't respect the boundaries you've set and we can't take back what others have done we want you to know that no matter what, the good of the community will always Have what's best for you in mind, in our server we make sure all rules are followed and you're privacy and mental health is respected. Take as much time as you need to take it all in, relax, do what's best for clown. 💚 take care of yourself before aything else. We thank you for all you've done already. -Boogerbug

EVERYTHING BELOW WAS SUBMITTED BY MEMBERS !!

Hi Clown! Just another rando passing through! While I have known about your artwork for a few years now, I never dove into it until Welcome Home became popular, and I genuinely love the vision you have. Your other artwork is also phenominal and genuinely inspires me, and it always has, even before I discovered the Welcome Home website. Your character designs are impeccable, the way you portray the muppets is genuinely awesome and brings back a lot of good memories, as I grew up watching puppet shows. Explains one reason I enjoy your work doesn't it?Despite making godly artwork, people forget that you are a human like the rest of us. Most people who become famous or popular because of something they have done experience this and it is unfortunate, but there are some of us that know you have a life and are already struggling. Take the time you need to rejuvinate yourself and try not to let these people get to you, as hard as it is to do, as even I still struggle with this daily. These are your creations, and you deserve to have control over what happens with them, and the disrespect this slowly growing fanbase has for your requests is terrible. Hoping that things eventually improve on your end, especially since you already aren't in a safe environment, something I also understand. I've already planned on throwing some bucks at you through Ko-Fi once I open my new bank account, and even if I cant, I still want to help prove that you are worthy and deserve better than this. You are incredibly talented and I hope to see Welcome Home and all of your other works of art flourish over time! - Sunnie/Mizo

Now onto the big reveal....

Our server members as well as a few mods all banded to together to create a collage showing our appreciation and support for Clown during these rough times. I hope this can serve as a reminder that despite the shitty people out there, there is a large community who still very much respects and enjoys every aspect of Clowns artwork.

An art collage put together by the moderators with art submitted by members.

Below are more signages as well as the usernames of everyone who participated:

Micah

Maximus

Beans

Wynn

Avery

Global

Vinnzhe

- and lastly, the rest of the welcome home discord server 🩷

@partycoffin

[smolwritingchick]

The Bangtan Gal Chapter 93- Our First Time

Summary: Jennie celebrates her birthday in Japan and Jungkook makes it a memorable one.

Genre: Jungkook fluff! And smut! (A for effort on the smut! I'm sorry if you're a bit disappointed with the smut writing but I'll continue to get better. Practice makes perfect!)

Words: 15,000+ 

Author's Note: It's been a while! I missed writing this story, I'm happy to be back at it. I missed you all dearly! I have been overthinking the HECK out of this chapter. Like ideas kept coming but then I was worried cause it was like ah...is this too much or not that realistic? I had a vision but I kept going back and forth regarding realism and contemplated deleting stuff but then I wanted to keep it. So, I hope you enjoy this and it was worth the wait. I wanted to make it romantic, fluffy, intimate, and a bit vulnerable in a way. I mean this is a critical point in their relationship and I didn't want to screw it up.

I just feel like these two will be comfortable with each other and certain about their love. Everyone especially black women should be loved on and cherished by their significant other and I thought a lot about how Jungkook would feel in this moment with Jennie in the story after pinning for her for so long. 

I'd say Summer Walker's Nobody Else and Best Part by Daniel Caesar & H.E.R is super relatable to JenKook. Loveeee these song so much. Both are so beautiful and always get me in my feelings.

Also: context on Booker T and his Spinaroonie which will be mentioned in the story. Black wrestlers mean a lot to me and he has been a huge part of my childhood.

Soon after chilling for a bit, and celebrating my birthday on May 10th, I will be working on my wrestling story next to update that and then I will be back writing the next chapters for Bangtan Gal. There will be two chapters updated for this one, the Muster chapter which will have Jin and Jennie's wrestling match, and then the next story chapter :)

So, bear with me for the slow updates. It may take a bit but I will try my best to not take forever. Again, thanks for sticking with me and I hope this was ok. Lemme know what you think! Until next time!!

Currently me after uploading:

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A loud sigh escaped Jennie's lips as she sat down in the middle of a wrestling ring. Here she was alone at Big Hit, in one of their rooms which had a standard sized wrestling ring for her and Jin to practice for their next match. Lately, it had been used as a private room for Bangtan's Oldest and Youngest members and held a lot of gym equipment as well. 

For a while now, Big Hit proposed for Jennie and Jin to get professional wrestling lessons. Jin stuck with learning the basics but Jennie wanted to learn more and asked for extra lessons as wrestling had started to become a new hobby for her. Despite the soreness and occasional bruising she'd endure while training, wrestling was fun and stress relieving. Their professional lessons were a few days a week as they learned the basics and prepared for their choreographed match to make sure things went well. Juggling dance practice, recording music, events, and wrestling lessons took a while to adjust but the two members remained dedicated and wanted to put on a great video for ARMY when it was time to record their match.

Big Hit wanted to ensure their safety as well and thought professional wrestling lessons would help. Because at the end of the day, Jin and Jennie were still idols and the last thing the company needed was two of their artists injured off of wrestling. And Jennie knows from watching WWE that those wrestling injuries are no joke. She was grateful every day for not suffering a serious injury and hoped to keep it that way. 

Since her hair was dyed red, Jennie wanted to portray WWE's Lita for their next match while Jin was still researching which wrestler to portray. Since the matches are predetermined, Big Hit wanted Jin to win which made sense to Jennie and she was all for it. For the past week, Jin and Jennie would go over what they wanted to do for the match and their trainers were extremely helpful in making their vision come to life while assisting in producing the match.

With it being evening time and everyone had left for the day, Jennie stayed behind to practice while wearing some shorts, knee pads, and a tank top. She wanted to get a few moves down and hoped to perform them better as she kept jumping off the top rope safely onto a padded mat to pretend it was her opponent.

After drinking water, she stood on her feet and stretched.

"There you are!" Jungkook's bright voice filled her ears as she turned around and smiled.

"Hey! Sorry, Jungkook, I should have texted you. I wasn't ready to go, yet. I wanted to train a little bit more,"

"It's all good, honey. What are you working on?" he strolled over to the ring and went in, wearing a hoodie with the hood over his head and sweatpants.

"My moonsault. You know the move where you backflip off the top rope and onto your opponent lying on the mat?"

"Yeah! I know the move," he reached out for her and wrapped his arms around her waist.

"I'm sweaty," she giggled and tried to pull away but he wouldn't budge.

"I don't care," 

He smiled and leaned down to give her multiple kisses on her lips which she immediately returned, smiling into the kisses. 

"Show me what you got with the moonsault. I can help you," he said while she looked at him in surprise as they pulled away.

Jungkook even learned a bit of wrestling just in case he wanted to participate in future matches. He was still trying to convince the rest of the members to join but so far no luck. But hopefully one day.

"A-are you sure? I should practice more on the big mat first," she said with a hint of nervousness.

"I'm the Golden Maknae, I got this," he flashed a big grin. "Where do you want me, Jagi?"

"O-okay. Um, let me move the mat and you can take its place," she pulled the mat to the other side of the ring while Jungkook got on his back.

"All set! Let me know when you're ready, Jennie,"

Nervousness continued to overwhelm her as she replied, "Kookie, are you sure this is a good idea? I don't think I'm ready to perform it on someone just yet,"

"You never know unless you try! Come at me. Let me see what you got,"

"Fine, fine. Stay still," she got up the top rope, trying to remember everything she could for the move. "Three...two...one...go!"

She backflipped off the top rope gracefully and landed right on him. However, a loud groan escaped his lips as her knees landed on his stomach instead of her torso, which made her freak out.

"Ah! Oh my God! Are you okay!? Why am I such a klutz!?" she got off of him to see him clenching his stomach with his face twisted in discomfort. 

Oh, this was so bad. She knew she shouldn't have decided to practice on him. All that training went out the window as she saw her man in pain. 

She cupped his face while he continued to clench his stomach. "Kookie, I'm sorry! Are you okay!?"

"Yeah..." he grunted, '"We'll work on it,"

"I am SO sorry!" she exclaimed after releasing him. "I did so much better, earlier! I promise, I did! I just miscalculated! I can do it, better! But I'm not quite ready to do the move on someone! Ah...why did I agree to this!? My knees were on your stomach! God, I know that had to hurt. And I got my knee pads on, too? Sheesh!"

As he watched her ramble, Jungkook couldn't help but laugh and stopped clenching his stomach, sitting up.

"You're cute when you freak out like this," he giggled.

"You're not hurt!?" she exclaimed.

"I am a little. My stomach hurts but I was exaggerating the pain. It doesn't hurt that bad," 

"I-you idiot! Don't do that!" she smacked his arm, making him laugh again. "You had me thinking I injured you! I was about to freak out and cry to Bang PD!"

"Wow, you were going to do that? I should have kept up the act,"

"Shut up!" she giggled as they both stood up. "You're a piece of work, you know that?"

"So, I've been told," he smiled and placed a warm hand on her cheek, brushing his thumb against it. "You did good, babe. You just gotta work more on the delivery of your moonsault. I say Jin stands no chance against you in the high flying department,"

"Thank you. I'll keep practicing on the mat, for now," she kissed his cheek and placed the mat where it was before.

"How are you and hyung coming along with the match?" he asked as he stood across in a corner, leaning against the top turnbuckle with his arms crossed.

"It's going so well! Jin still gotta figure out who he wants to be. I gave him some suggestions, so he's researching to get one of their personas down. And once he does choose the wrestler, then the trainers can try to teach him some of their moves to add to the match. I lowkey want him to be Booker T from WWE. I told him earlier as a suggestion and he said he'll think about it. But yo, if he chooses him that would make my day. To watch Jin do the spin-a-roonie though...that will have me crying," she laughed at the idea with Jungkook.

"Can you dig it, SUCKA~!" Jungkook said Booker T's wrestling catchphrase in English with Jennie as the two laughed again.

"Yeah, hyung would be so extra with his persona. I can't wait to see who he decides to be. And I'm looking forward to being front row to watch it this time instead of on video,"

"Haha, you're in for a treat. Man, all this makes me want to go to a WWE event one of these days. If we're back in America and they're doing a show close to where we are, I want to go!"

"I hope so too, so you can go. I'll come with you,"

"It's a date!"

"Speaking of dates, we still need to go to a rock concert together like you wanted,"

"Yeah! I gotta research that too whenever we are free. I have no idea who will be on tour but no matter what we have to do GA! And we must crowd surf! It's gonna be fun, I promise!"

The lovers could see the date now. She was on top of his shoulders, singing the lyrics to whatever song was playing from one of her favorite bands while he vibed and smiled at her having the time of her life. It needed to happen soon. 

As she continued to practice her wrestling, Jungkook's eyes began to roam down her body, as he pondered about his self control. Her dark skin glistened in the lighting of the room from the sweat of her workout and her hair was in a messy bun. Every day the want for her increased and her birthday couldn't come fast enough with the way his body reacted to her. He wondered if she felt the same.

As her birthday drew near, Jungkook's anticipation and nervousness kicked in tenfold. It was a huge step and he hoped everything would go well and he could make her feel how wanted and loved she is. 

"Did you hear me?"

"Do what?" Jungkook snapped out of his trance and looked into her eyes.

"I asked, since you're here do you want to train with me, too?" she repeated.

"Yeah, why not. I could use a workout before we go back," he took off his hoodie to show his tank top, revealing his muscular arms as her eyes eagerly checked them out.

Now this was a little dangerous. Jennie was already trying to keep herself in check to not let her dirty thoughts get to her. Shaking the thoughts away, the two trained back and forth, practicing moves. She was grateful for it and it was nice to have a partner to assist. But as time went on, she began losing focus because, in the back of her mind, her desire to be intimate with her man had gotten stronger, these days. But maybe...just maybe...

Jungkook currently had his arms around her from behind in a waist lock while she struggled to get out of it. With him breathing down her neck and his firm arms holding her, she seemed to have completely lost focus. 

Abruptly, she pushed back against him to grind, making him sharply inhale.

"You know that should be a disqualification," he said in her ear as his hands began to roam down her body.

"Hm, well, there is no referee in sight. So, what now?" she turned in his arms. 

Before he could reply, she pulled him by his shirt to smooch him as he groaned softly against her mouth. Their kissing became needy and his hands traveled down to her ass, squeezing it. She gasped at the sudden action which led him to slide his tongue into her mouth and lift her up as she wrapped her legs around him. As he proceeded to walk forward to press her up against a corner, Jennie cupped his face and held onto him.

She wanted him so badly. She was ready and felt herself getting aroused that she didn't even care where it was as long as it was with him. With Jungkook, as much as he wanted to touch her and lose control, he didn't want it to be abrupt like this. With every last restraint, he set her down and reluctantly pulled away, running a hand through his messy hair.

"Did I do something wrong?" she asked, catching her breath from their passionate kissing.

"No, of course not. I want this and I want you. Believe me when I say I've been wanting to touch you and make you feel amazing for a long time, now. But you deserve a bed, Jennie,"

Her heart fluttered at how serious he sounded about that.

He stepped forward and placed his hands on the top rope, connected to the top turnbuckle, trapping her in the corner. "And I want to take my time and kiss every inch of you...and I want to hear you say my name again when I make you feel things no one else can because you're mine...but not now. Not here. It'll be on a bed. And soon. I promise,"

"You say that and expect me not to pounce on you? You're giving me images that I want to become a reality, now,"

"You do the same to me,"

"And I was only going to ask for you to come to my studio. I mean...there is a couch,"

He chuckled at the suggestive thought. "And a bed for your first is even more inviting,"

"Touché,"

"Wait a little longer for it, okay?"

She smiled and nodded. "Okay. I know it'll be worth the wait,"

He returned her smile and leaned back in to kiss her passionately, not ready to let her go just yet. However, their making out was cut short when they failed to realize the door opening. A loud clearing of someone's throat was heard, making the couple quickly back away and turn to who was there.

Of all people...it was Bang PD. 

'This would be my luck...' Jennie thought to herself as she bowed with Jungkook apologetically. 

She was mortified while Jungkook blushed out of embarrassment. 

Jennie thought everyone left but then she realized she had forgotten Bang PD had told her he would also stay late to finish up some work. He must have come by to say goodbye to her since he was done.

"Jennie..." Bang PD let out a sigh, shaking his head as he looked at the couple.

These kids...boy was he amused at the scene. 

"Y-yes, sir?" she answered, flustered.

"When you told me you would be staying late to practice, I didn't mean making out in the ring with Jungkook. You two should be working," he replied with his arms crossed.

He scolded them for not focusing on training and then laughed about it in the end, wishing them a good night and to next time focus on work. After he left, Jennie and Jungkook glanced at each other and ended up laughing at the embarrassment.

"Oh my God...I can't believe that just happened," she got out of the ring with him. "We are NEVER telling the boys about this. This is going to the grave,"

"I second that. Do you think he's going to mention this to anyone?" he feared.

"Oh, fuck outta here, I hope not!"

----------

"I cannot believe this..." Jennie grumbled with her arms crossed as she sat in the van with the members, on their way to the airport.

She had her fair share of goofy moments but this right here was currently number one. The boys were struggling not to laugh as they snuck glances at her wearing a large Pikachu Onesie. The reason? Losing a bet with Jungkook on who could beat who in Smash Bros, last night. She tried her hardest but he prevailed in a best out of 5.

"You look adorable," Jungkook giggled.

"Be quiet," she snapped at him in a playful tone, earning another giggle from him. "I can't believe I have to walk out in public with this on. Why? You know Dispatch is going to be there taking photos."

"You did bring it on yourself. You should have beat him in the game," Yoongi chuckled.

"Wow." she shook her head. "I am loving the support, right now,"

Bangtan had some fan events in Japan just before their 3rd Muster in Seoul and were headed to the airport to get on their flight. Once they arrived at the airport, fans and reporters were already there to take videos and photos. Jennie watched as the members and staff made their way out of the vehicle as she tried to mentally prepare herself to be seen with the onesie.

About to get out of the car, Jin turned back to her and chuckled. "Are you coming?"

Seated next to him by the window, she groaned. "Yes..."

With a smile, Jin helped her out of the car and surprised sounds from the crowd were heard when they saw her in the onesie, along with giggling and various comments on how cute she looked. Being a good sport, Jennie grinned and waved at the cameras, walking inside the airport with everyone else.

She laughed, forgetting about the embarrassment, and began to pose, with the members. Miss Bangtan even started playing the part of Pikachu, while reporters ate it up. After photos, the group started going to the destination of where their flight was as the large group of fans and reporters followed them.

"Jennie-ah, why are you wearing a Pikachu onesie?" she heard a fan ask who was recording her with their phone.

"I lost a video game bet against Jungkook," she grinned sheepishly, earning giggles in response.

Safe to say, her look went viral and became an instant classic BTS moment for ARMY as they tweeted their thoughts:

'Look at Jen-kachu!'

'The fact that she agreed to this lmfaooo.'

'Jungkook was the cause of this!? LOL the Golden Duo never has a dull moment!'

'Wait I thought this was photoshopped! WHAT!?'

'Jennie blessing us with her cuteness!'

'I deadass thought it was a joke but Jennie is actually at the airport as Pikachu!'

'Hahahaha not Jennie getting caught in the mix of losing bets!'

'I LOVE cute Jennie! This made my day!'

--------

Because of her birthday, the staff treated Jennie to have her own suite in the hotel BTS stayed while the rest of the members roomed with each other. The room was huge as it even held a kitchen, which Jungkook was currently using to his advantage while Jennie was out eating with the Hyung Line for her birthday. Jungkook's birthday plans for Jennie were in motion as he and the rest of the Maknae Line decorated her suite with balloons and other birthday accessories. 

"She is going to freak!" Jimin beamed.

"Yeah, this looks like it's going to be her best birthday, yet! You gotta tell us her reaction when she sees the room," Taehyung added.

Jungkook grinned as he decorated. "I will! You two okay continuing to decorate? I want to start the cake,"

"Yeah, go ahead! I still can't believe you're going to bake for her. This is adorable," Jimin giggled.

Jungkook wanted to go all out for her birthday and thought of baking for her. She always baked for him and the rest of the boys. It would be sweet to have her receive a cake that was made from the heart. The Golden Maknae researched some good birthday cake recipes and chose to bake a small red velvet cake for her. 

He whipped out all the ingredients he purchased the night before and placed them all on the counter to begin while the oven was preheating. Getting right to work, Jungkook was diligent in making sure he followed the directions and mixed the ingredients while checking to see if the measurements were fine.

"Do you know what you're doing?" Taehyung teased while walking over to him, trying to throw him off as he mixed everything in the bowl.

"Go away!" Jungkook playfully shouted at him, turning away.

"You sure you don't need help?" Jimin added to the teasing.

"No!" Jungkook exclaimed. "You two just continue decorating and stop messing with me,"

However, Jimin and Taehyung decided to continue messing with him by playfully hitting him and throwing some decorations his way, which resulted in Jungkook setting the nicely mixed bowl down and running around the suite to chase them. It didn't take too long for him to beat them up before going back to working on the cake. Once in the oven, Jungkook put a timer on his phone and continued to decorate with the guys.

"What do you plan to do with Ennie when she returns?" Taehyung asked.

The question caused Jungkook to smile to himself as his heart leaped. To spend the day with the girl he had fallen for and was proud to call his girlfriend was something he'll cherish forever. He wanted everything to be perfect because she deserved the world. For her birthday, Jungkook convinced his hyungs to let him and Jennie have the entire day together. He was happy they all agreed and that he'd have some sweet alone time with her. He thought long and hard about how he wanted to spend the day and hoped she loved what he had planned.

"I have it all planned out but don't want to jinx myself and give it away. I just hope to make it as special as possible," Jungkook answered with joy. 

"No matter what you do, she'll love it. I mean it's Ennie. She appreciates everything we do for her,"

"And we're happy to see you be the best boyfriend for her. Our ship is still sailing strong, isn't it Tae?" Jimin praised.

"Indeed!" Taehyung high fived him with enthusiasm.

Jungkook chuckled and blushed at the kind words. "I sometimes still can't believe she's mine. I'm really happy I told her my feelings, that day,"

"Us too, Jungkookie," Jimin patted his back. 

After Jimin and Taehyung left, Jungkook went to where the bedroom was to start decorating it. She had told him she was ready and he hoped that tonight would be special for the both of them for that first time. To take that next step in the relationship. 

Later, his phone began to buzz and he took it out of his pocket to see a text from Jin.

Jin: We're back at the hotel! Meet us in the lobby.

JK: On my way!

--------

To Jennie, she was with the rest of Bangtan and patiently waited for Jungkook. Her tummy was full from the delicious breakfast and she had a big smile on her face. Her birthday had been filled with great vibes so far and she couldn't wait to see what else was planned today. 

"Jennie~!" Jimin ran up to her with Taehyung to embrace her. "Happy birthday!"

She giggled and returned the hug enthusiastically. "Thank you~! I feel so loved! First, it was the breakfast, and now the hugs from you and Taehyung!"

"I'm glad you're enjoying your day so far. It's only going to get better,"

"Ooh? More surprises? I wonder what's next. That breakfast hit the spot. Japan has some amazing food,"

As they all chatted, Jungkook finally came down on the elevator to see Jennie chatting with the guys. Sensing his presence, she turned and grinned. 

"Kookie!" she waved as he strolled over to her.

"Happy birthday!" he grinned and embraced her tightly, spinning her around as he lifted her in his arms.

"Thank you!"

"We'll leave you two, to it," Namjoon smiled and began walking to the elevator.

"Yes and please just stay safe. And no, I will not blow up your phones to get updates. I promise," Jin chuckled and waved, following Namjoon.

"Have fun, today! We'll see you, eventually," Jimin giggled and left with the rest of the members.

"Oh? They're all leaving? Even Jin? What a surprise," she said in wonder. "So, it's just us?"

"Yeah, you're with me for the rest of the day," Jungkook proudly said.

"What?! Oh, that's perfect! How'd you get them to agree? Especially Jin?"

"I am the Golden Maknae," he grinned.

"You always say that shit, give me the details! I want a proper answer," she playfully hit him.

"Haha, I told them I'd treat them to Korean beef when we return to Seoul. So, they were fine with that. They eagerly agreed once I mentioned food,"

"I like that. So, where to?"

"You'll see. Let's go,"

As they were en route to their destination, Jennie continued to scroll on Twitter to see the sweet messages from fans for her birthday. And then she smiled when ARMY began to notice that Nike and a Nike PR followed her Instagram. She was excited to announce her being sponsored by Nike and was just waiting for the OK.

As soon as they made it to the destination, Jennie looked around in awe.

They were at Universal!

"Universal Japan!? Oh, hell yes! We about to have a TIME, today!" she cheered and put a black mask on with him as Jungkook laughed at her enthusiasm, agreeing.

After they checked in, they walked inside the park while Jennie looked around, amazed. She always wanted to check out amusement parks in other countries. She can check this off her bucket list.

"Follow me," he said as she walked closely with him.

"Oh, wait! I wanna take a photo with Hello Kitty!" she pointed out the mascot taking photos with the children.

Jen waited patiently for her turn, smiling under her mask at the adorable kids. Then, she kept her mask on and posed with the peace sign while Jungkook snapped the photo. She'll be sure to tweet it on Twitter, later.

Walking inside one of the stores, the large variety of headbands caught her attention.

"Soooo many options! Look at all these headbands," she looked through them.

After looking around, the two decided to get matching headbands. Once they put them on, they took cute selfies together and even some silly ones. As they walked further into the park at Universal Japan, Jennie began to hear the Harry Potter theme song, taking her by surprise.

"Wait a damn minute...are we-are we going to Harry Potter World!?" she exclaimed. Once she turned to Jungkook and saw him nod happily, she jumped and squealed excitedly. "What!? Oh my gosh! Wait, you took the test!?"

"I did. I'm a Ravenclaw,"

"Ahhhh! It suits you! So much to do! Okay! We gotta get wands! We gotta do the whole thing. We gotta go on the rides, we gotta get butterbeer, get the outfits, everything! You ready?" she giggled excitedly as he smiled, thinking it was the cutest thing.

"Lead the way,"

"That's what I'm talking about!" she grabbed his hand as they wandered around.

Jungkook had brought a camera with him and had been filming her since their arrival. Smiling as he filmed, he observed as she looked around the area, geeking out. This was so going towards a future GCF for their relationship reveal.

"Ah~! It's just like the movies! I feel like I'm actually in the movies!" she beamed.

After picking up their wands and robes, they check out Three Broomsticks to eat lunch.

"Here we go! Butterbeer! Let's see..." Jennie checked out the options they had.

"Should we get cold or hot butterbeer?" Jungkook pondered.

"Let's get both and try it together,"

After ordering food and two cold and two hot butterbeer beverages, the couple sat together and ate while discussing how much fun they were having so far.

"Okay, the moment of truth. You filming?" she grinned as she watched him with his camera.

"Yes, milady," 

"Okay! Let's see if butterbeer tastes as good as everyone says! I'm going to try the cold one first," she presented the cup and began to take a big sip.

"And the results are...?" he asked with anticipation.

"This SLAPS!" she praised and took another sip, enjoying the delicious taste and cream on top.

After watching her praising the cold drink, Jungkook filmed himself trying the drink and nodded in approval, enjoying it as well. Turning the camera back to her to film, she presented the hot butterbeer next. 

"Okay! Now for the hot one!" she announced and began to take a careful sip. "Oh, I like this, too. Very rich taste. And I feel all warm and cozy. It's warming me up nicely,"

Jungkook filmed himself trying the hot one and enjoyed the taste as well but not as much as the cold one.

"It's good. But I like the cold one, more," he said, still enjoying the hot drink as he took more sips.

"It's hard to choose. I like the hot version just a little bit more. Both are amazing. Well, butterbeer is worth the hype. I'm glad we finally tried it!"

The rest of the day was spent all over Harry Potter world, enjoying the rides and shopping in the stores. They even got to check out some other areas of Universal while taking lots of photos. After a fun filled day, the couple began to leave the park and Jungkook gave her his jacket to wear so she wouldn't be too cold.

"Enjoyed yourself?" He asked.

Enjoying the warmth of his jacket while holding his hand, she said, "One of the best birthdays ever! We gotta go back again, soon. Thanks for today. I had an amazing time,"

"I'm glad you did. Now, onto your next surprise," 

"Wait, there's more?"

-------

Making it back to the hotel, Jungkook guided Jennie back to her room, having her close her eyes as she walked in.

"And...open," he smiled after closing the door behind him.

Once she opened her eyes, she looked around in shock.

"No way!" she grinned and walked around. 

A large happy birthday banner was on display, tons of gifts were placed in the living room area and even cute balloons and decorations were scattered all around the room.

"Jungkook...this is incredible!"

"You deserve it," he grinned. "Jimin and Taehyung helped out,"

"They're the best. You're the best. Everyone is the best. This is too sweet, what?" 

"I'm glad you like everything. And...these are for you," he presented her with a vase full of a dozen red roses and she placed a hand over her chest, appreciative of the gesture.

"Aw...thank you!" she gave him a big kiss and set the vase down on the dining room table. "Wow...these are gorgeous! And they smell great!"

"Nike sent you something as well," he pointed to the living room couch as he made his way over.

"What!? A whole custom birthday box from Nike? What!? Oh, I am about to lose my mind!" she shouted happily and ran over to the large Orange box, sitting on the couch with him.

It held a card wishing her a happy birthday and that they were excited about her working with them. When she opened the box, there were tons of Nike goods in her size and custom made items just for her which made her heart soar.

"Wow...I sound like a broken record but...I...I feel so loved. And I'm so grateful to have you and everyone else in my life. Like really...thank you for always showing me how special I am," she said and kissed him again.

"Always. You mean a lot to me and you deserve all of this and more,"

"Kook...you mean a lot to me, too," 

After the two checked out everything from the Nike box, Jungkook spoke, "I made something for you,"

"Oh? What is it?" she looked on in anticipation.

"Close your eyes, first,"

"Okay," she closed her eyes with a smile, awaiting the surprise.

Getting up from the couch, Jungkook made his way to the fridge to grab the small red velvet cake that he had made for her. Despite the constant teasing from Jimin and Taehyung on whether he knew what he was doing, the cake turned out quite well and was decorated nicely with the icing. After grabbing a few paper plates, plastic forks, and a plastic knife, Jungkook set everything down on the coffee table in front of the couch as Jennie continued to wait patiently.

He placed a 1 candle and a 9 candle on the cutely decorated cake and presented it to her with a smile.

"Open," he softly said.

Opening her eyes, she looked at the cake in surprise, covering her mouth. She glanced up at him, back at the cake, and then back at him, uncovering her mouth to reveal a grin.

"What? You baked for me?"

"You bake for everyone. I wanted this birthday to be memorable so I decided to try to make you something,"

"Jungkook, today has been way more than memorable. This is so sweet, thank you. It smells so good. And it looks good, too,"

"I hope you like it. But before digging in..." he lit the candles and then began to sing Happy Birthday angelically which made her heart leap.

"Make a wish," he happily said. 

After a moment of thinking of a wish, she blew out the candles and they both cheered.

"Let's try the cake together," she requested.

Once Jungkook cut a big slice and put it on a paper plate to share, he placed it on the table. The two picked up a forkful and decided to feed each other. Jennie expected Jungkook's cake to taste delicious and she was correct, enjoying every bite as they continued to feed each other.

"How do you like it? I think it's pretty good," he said.

"You've outdone yourself, this tastes great!" she complimented.

"Better than you?" he teased in a hopeful voice.

"Alright now," she deadpanned before breaking out into giggles with him. 

After finishing the slice, Jungkook put the rest of the cake in the fridge.

"Ah, I'm so spoiled. Today has been magical! Like, look at this! I don't even know where to continue for the gifts," she said, looking at all the gifts scattered around from friends and family.

"Do you want to open your gifts now or see your last gift of the evening?"

"Last gift?" she looked at him curiously.

He smiled softly and nodded. 

The curiosity took over her. "Show me the last gift,"

"Follow me," he grabbed her hand and led her to the bedroom door.

Once he opened it, they walked in and saw that the room was decorated romantically. Cute electric candles lit up the dark room along with rose petals scattered around the floor and bed.

She gasped lightly as her heart fluttered. "Jungkook..."

After closing the door, he watched as she stood in front of him, looking around in awe. Slowly walking over to her from behind, he saw her turn around. No words needed to be said at the moment as they smiled at each other. They both knew they wanted this and felt secure in their feelings.

He gazed at her lovingly as he reached out to pull her into his arms, leaning down to capture her lips tenderly. She held onto him as they kissed and their stomachs leaped with joy and anticipation of what was about to happen. Pulling away she smiled and grabbed his hands, walking back until she was closer to the bed. Turning him around, she made him sit on the edge of the bed as the butterflies increased in her stomach. Straddling him, she wrapped her arms around his neck while feeling his hands rest on her hips.

'Wow...we're really about to do this,' she thought as she held his gaze.

"Nervous?" he asked softly.

"A little," she admitted.

"I'm nervous too but whatever we do it'll feel right," he responded while she ran a hand through his soft hair and cupped his cheek. "We have all night and I plan to take advantage of it. We'll go slow, okay?" 

"Okay," she smiled and explored his mouth again, tasting the red velvet cake from his lips.

Once she pulled away, he guided her soft hands to his firm chest and she slowly began to undo the buttons of his dress shirt. Unbuttoning the last button, she took it off him eagerly and got a good look at his toned torso, admiring the view which did not go unnoticed by him. She kissed him again, having her hands all over his body as the warmth of his skin radiated onto her. Jungkook smiled into the kiss, loving how her hands roamed, making him feel satisfied with his body. He had been getting slightly bigger in muscle and had been working out even more these days. 

She didn't know how much time had passed as she kept touching and kissing him but she loved how patient he was. He didn't rush her. He let her set the pace and let her do whatever she wanted.

As her soft, full lips trailed down to his chin and his neck, she began to slowly grind into him, making him groan softly which caused her stomach to leap at the pleasant sound. The grip on her hips tightened as he moved with her to create more friction. He sighed out her name when she nipped softly on his neck. Trailing kisses up his neck and capturing his lips again, she could feel him through his jeans as he pushed his hips into hers again, making her moan softly.

She felt his warm hands on her waist as he met her eyes, asking if it was OK to continue. Once she nodded, she felt her sweatshirt ride up and helped him take it off, tossing it on the floor. Jungkook swallowed hard, looking at her chest with desire as it was covered in a red bra.

"You can touch me, you know," she reminded with a smile and grabbed his hands, guiding them to her chest.

"I-I know...just...wow..." he said breathlessly.

He was in a trance and felt himself getting harder, enjoying the view up close like this. She sighed into his touch when he squeezed lightly and had his lips travel around her neck.

"You are so beautiful..." he murmured against her skin while his hands caressed her, making her squirm and whimper softly.

He was pleased to hear the sounds coming from her as she moved her neck to give him better access, feeling his sweet kisses all over. Suddenly, he easily stood up with her legs wrapped around his waist. Spinning around a little, she giggled, making him smile and capture her lips as she cupped his cheeks. Not breaking the kiss, he gently laid her down on the bed, crawling on top of her as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

Everything he was doing to her so far made her body feel warm all over as her heart pounded. The way he kissed her and continued to caress her body had her intoxicated by his touch. As they both sat up a little, Jungkook glanced at her to see if she was ready to continue and she nodded. Reaching out to the back of her bra, he attempted to unclasp it but began to struggle. The sight made Jen look amused as she thought it was cute how concentrated yet confused he was at trying to do such a simple task.

"Need help?" she teased.

"I got this," he said but continued to struggle.

As she watched him fumble with the bra, a giggle escaped her lips, making his ears twitch and glance back up at her.

"Are you laughing at me?" he chuckled.

"A little~. Here, let me help," she helped him unclasp it and take it off as she tossed it somewhere on the floor.

"Wow..." he breathed, drinking her in.

He gently laid her down and grabbed her right breast in his palm. Feeling him place kisses over her chest, she let out soft moans and writhed under his touch while he gave her left breast attention. While he sucked and swirled his tongue around her hard left nipple, her back arched as a wave of heat surged down between her legs. This felt too good as she continued to let out sounds of pleasure, enjoying what his mouth was doing. As he brushed her right nipple with his thumb, he continued to suck and nip on her left one, before moving over to give her right breast the same attention.

"Can I?" he breathed as his hands moved down to the button of her jeans.

"Yes," she breathed with want.

Unbuttoning her jeans and zipping down the fly, he helped her out of them, along with her red underwear, and tossed them off the bed. Moving back up, he kissed her again passionately. She then began to whimper against his mouth and squirmed when she felt one of his hands traveling down to her thigh. 

"Still sensitive here, I see," he murmured, pleased to have remembered one of her sensitive spots.

He kissed her hungrily as his hand traveled down to rub against her core, causing her to moan loudly into his mouth and hold onto him. 

"Jungkook..." she gasped.

Proud to feel her getting so wet for him and being so responsive to his touch, he kissed up her neck and whispered in her ear, "I'm right here,"

They've been here before. They have done this a handful of times since Prom Weekend and each time felt amazing as he knew how to make her feel good with his hands and tongue. 

As he kissed every inch of her body, being vocal about how beautiful she was and how beautiful her black skin was which continued to make her dizzy, Jungkook began to kiss down her body. While he kissed down her stomach, she let out a gasp and began breathing heavily once his lips kissed around her hips and inner thighs. Finally, he was face to face with her entrance. He was pleased to see how wet she had become and it was all for him as she was anticipating what he would do next.

His mouth got to work, kissing her thighs and landing right to her core as her heavy pants were heard throughout the bedroom, which was music to his ears. Jungkook felt her grip fistfuls of his silky hair as he swirled his tongue around her folds, starting at a slow pace since he wanted to take his time to enjoy her. His tongue felt warm and soft against her as he licked his way up to her clit.

"Ah, Jungkook!" she cried out as her hips jolted at the sudden sensation.

As he continued, picking up the pace to lick and suck her clit, he felt her remove her hands from his hair and try to move away because the pleasure was beginning to make her feel like she wouldn't be able to handle it. However, Jungkook was having none of it and pulled her back to his mouth and kept her firmly in place, digging right back in.

"I-I can't—fuck!" she moaned, squeezing her eyes shut as she threw her head back into the soft mattress. 

She wasn't going to be able to take much more of this as she felt vibrations against her from his chuckle, sending shivers up her spine. Meanwhile, Jungkook looked up with lustful eyes, enjoying the view of her looking disheveled with her mouth open.

"Yes, you can," he encouraged. "You're taking it so well like you always do,"

He felt a sense of pride. No one else was able to make her feel the way he made her feel. And he enjoyed the fact that he caused this reaction from her and only him. He continued to devour her, paying attention to her cries of pleasure. Instantly after that, her entire body tensed up as she shuddered and cried out his name. Smiling to himself, he kept his head buried between her thighs as his mouth was slick with saliva and her juices. Pulling away, with his mouth glistening, he licked his lips.

"You all right?" he asked with a soft smirk, feeling a bit smug that he left her in shambles.

As she steadied her breathing, she finally was able to speak, "Hm-hm...it's like...every time you do this you get better,"

He smiled at her praise. "The motivation is you,"

She smiled at his reply. They truly loved each other. And now they were expressing it on a whole new level. She felt so safe with him and felt amazing so far. Deep in her thoughts, her eyes began to roam down to his physique, admiring the view. Those arms...those thighs...everything. He looked beautiful and she felt so lucky to call him hers. 

"Normally, I'm the one caught in a trance. Like what you see?" he raised a brow in a teasing manner, making her look back up at his doe eyes.

She giggled. "Caught red-handed,"

Reaching out for him, she pulled him to hover over her as she crashed her lips against his.

"Are you okay to continue or do you need a break?" he murmured against her lips.

"I can continue," she replied, helping him take his jeans off.

As he tossed the jeans off the bed, Jennie noticed the bulge in his underwear and reached out, wanting to pleasure him but he gently stopped her. 

"I want to focus on you, tonight," he said softly. "Another time, okay? Let me take care of you. I've been dreaming about this moment for a long time...tell me what you want and I'll give it to you. I'll give you anything and everything, Jennie..."

Her heart pounded at his words as she cupped his left cheek, thumb caressing the little scar on his cheek. 

"Jungkook, please...I need you," she begged, making his dick throb while he sweetly kissed her body again. 

It took every ounce of strength from him to not let her wish be granted just yet. He still wanted to make sure she was well prepared for him.

"I know...I know...just a little longer," he murmured against her skin. "I love you like this...I love your beautiful skin...your lips...your shoulders...your arms...your hands..." 

As he called out each body part, he moved to kiss them as he continued to take his time with the foreplay which began to drive her crazy with her need for him increasing tenfold. He kissed every inch of her body once again and made mental notes of all her sweet spots. Even though he also had lube to assist, he meant what he said when he wanted to take his time and make her feel beautiful as he whispered sweet nothings to her.

When he finally felt like she was ready, he slipped out of his boxers and she finally got a look at all of him as she laid on her back. From his broad shoulders, strong arms, and thick thighs, to his hard length slick from anticipation, she loved everything about him as she bit her bottom lip softly, enjoying the view. He was so captivatingly handsome and no longer the little boy she met at Big Hit when they were younger. He was a man whom she fell in love with and is proud to call hers. A man who has made her feel desired and gorgeous all night. A man who she's giving herself to.

A man she loves deeply.

Watching him put a condom on along with putting a generous amount of lube, her stomach flipped with anticipation. Lining himself up at her entrance, he met her gaze and they both smiled.

"You ready?" he breathed.

"Yes. I love you," 

"I love you, too," he immediately replied.

He hovered over her and gave her a deep, passionate kiss as he pushed his tip in slowly and entered her. As she felt him push all the way in, she moaned into his mouth and held onto him tightly. The stretch felt good and it didn't hurt as much as she anticipated. Honestly, the way he prepared her was a great thing as she felt more pleasure all around.

"Fuck...you feel amazing," he groaned.

He felt like he was in heaven at how good she felt around him while his head was on the crook of her neck. He kept himself still for a moment to allow them both to adjust to this new feeling as he breathed heavily with her. It felt like a big stretch and she felt full. But damn did he feel good and he didn't even move yet.

"Are you ok?" he whispered.

"Hm hm," she breathed.

"Let me know when to move. I'll try not to cum too quick...you feel so good," he sounded a bit strained as he tried to control himself. 

They remained still for a while and Jungkook lifted his head to take a good look at her with love in his eyes. This was another sight he'd never get tired of and wanted to experience over and over again with her under him like this. 

She reached out and cupped his cheek. "You can move,"

"Okay. I'll go slow,"

Their bodies pressed together heatedly with Jungkook slowly thrusting into her with ease as he grunted along with her gasps and whimpers. It felt so good. Better than she ever imagined. 

So this was how it felt to be intimate with someone you love. She felt euphoric.

He kept the pace slow, careful not to hurt her, and found a sensual rhythm after a few thrusts. Picking up his head, he watched her with adoration while maintaining eye contact with her.

"I love you so much...you feel so good. Better than I ever imagined..." he moaned.

He noticed she was trying not to be loud and was keeping a lot of sounds to herself. But he wanted to encourage her to break out of that and it was all for his ears only. He kissed her sloppily and pressed his body against hers again with his head on the crook of her neck.

Grunting in her ear, he spoke, "It's okay, Jennie. Let it out. It's just us. I want to hear you,"

He began to pick up the pace a little, causing her to cry out and lightly scratch his back. She held onto him tight as her panting and moans increased in volume. When he heard her beginning to moan out his name, he smiled to himself.

"That's it...good girl," he praised with a huff. 

She involuntarily clenched around him, causing him to moan. That nickname was going to be dangerous in the future she could already tell from the way she reacted positively every time he called her that. Because of her sudden reaction to it, his confidence continued to boost.

Grabbing her hands, he pinned them to the bed on each side of her head and intertwined his fingers with hers as he continued to thrust into her.

Feeling her release, Jennie cried out his name with her body stuttering. As she rode out her high, Jungkook soon followed as he groaned out her name. His body shook violently as he filled up the condom and collapsed on top of her, panting heavily.

He rolled off of her, removed the condom, and placed it in the wastebasket next to the bed. Immediately he pulled her into his arms and held her as they came down from their high.

"Wow..." he sighed deeply with a big smile.

She giggled and looked up at him.

"Wow..." she replied breathlessly.

Wow...they just took the next step in their relationship and it was something they were always going to remember. Jennie had a dull ache between her thighs but she felt amazing. She felt treasured and she felt important. He took his time with her and made her feel beautiful. They both were sweaty from their physical activities and tangled in the sheets as they smooched again, soaking in the euphoria. 

"Are you all right?" Jungkook asked in a gentle voice with a smile as she looked at him.

He admired the afterglow on her face as he thought she was the most beautiful person he ever laid eyes on.

She cupped the side of his face and beamed. "I feel amazing. Thank you."

"I'm glad you do. Did I do ok?" he hoped as she moved strands of hair sticking on his forehead.

"Of course. It was everything I wanted and more,"

"Good. I'm glad. Does anything hurt?"

"Not really. You prepared me, well. And the lube was a bonus, too. A few friends of mine told me how it hurt them for their first time so I was trying to mentally prepare for the pain but...with you, I was in bliss,"

He smiled at that as his heart pounded. "I was in bliss with you, too,"

Jennie truly was in a state of utter bliss, right now. She felt so good and relaxed. Jungkook had been so loving and attentive for their first time.

"Honestly, I love it when you praise me, in bed. And I really love the things you do to me...how you make me feel. Physically and emotionally,"

She could sense his confidence boosting even more from her compliment as a big grin came across his face. 

"That makes me very happy. So, I can keep calling you my good girl in bed?"

She giggled. "Yes. It makes me feel good and makes me feel like I'm doing a good job,"

"You're always doing a good job. You have nothing to worry about when it comes to us. I like it when you're vocal and the way you hold onto me. Don't be timid about it, okay?"

"Okay, I'll do my best,"

"We need to work on you not running from me when I'm trying to give you head," he teased.

"I...listen...it's..." she couldn't find the right words as he laughed, making her chuckle. "You do it so right, I can get overwhelmed with the pleasure. I didn't think I was going to be able to handle it,"

"You handled yourself, well. And you'll continue to. Also, I think you scratched my back a little,"

"Oh gosh, I'm sorry. I hope it's not too bad,"

"I liked the feeling, it's okay. It did have me thinking about the future. If I'm able to get this reaction out of you now then...what about the other things I want to try with you because there are a lot of things I want to try...a lot,"

She felt her stomach flip at the way his gaze intensified when he said that. "Me too. I kind of...want to see how it is in front of a mirror, one day,"

"Thinking ahead, too, huh?" he smirked softly at the thought. "I'm curious, as well,"

She decided to lay on her back, looking at the ceiling while he chose to lay on his side and propped his head in his hand as he watched her.

"Wow...I remember when I first saw you..." she said with a smile as he listened attentively. "I walked past you a few times when I was still training. You didn't notice me but I'd see you from time to time at Big Hit. You were so focused on your training. And it was always a treat to catch a glimpse of your smile. I always loved seeing you smile. I was closer with Tae at the time since he was the only BTS member I knew but he'd talk about you and the rest of the members and I was just praying...just hoping that I'd get chosen as Miss Bangtan when I auditioned,"

"And here we are," he spoke up.

Turning her head to him, she chuckled. "And here we are. Over the years...being your best friend and learning and growing up with you have been some of the best moments of my life. And being here in this moment with you...being your girlfriend...is when I'm the happiest,"

Jungkook's eyes softened as he listened to her. "And I'm the happiest with you. Always. You taught me a lot of things and you're still teaching me. You taught me how to love. And how to express myself,"

She smiled at that. "I'm glad. Thank you. I'm happy you made me wait. This was perfect. Wow..."

Jungkook watched her with heart eyes as she rambled. He couldn't help himself and blurted his thoughts out loud, "You're so beautiful,"

Hearing him say that caused her to stop talking, feeling flushed at the sudden compliment. She giggled as he looked at her lovingly. Hiding her face in his chest made him chuckle as his heart leaped.

"I'm serious, Jennie. I'm happy. I'm happy to be here with you in this moment,"

Looking up at him, she responded, "Keep it up and you're gonna make me fall in love with you harder,"

He grinned and leaned down to kiss her, wrapping an arm around her. Jennie was already down bad. She couldn't get enough of him and didn't want this to end. She wanted to stay here forever if she could.

As they cuddled and rested in bed in a comfortable silence, Jennie spoke, "What are you thinking about, Jungkook?"

"What you said earlier. I remember my first thoughts when I first laid eyes on you at Big Hit," he brought up as his fingers began to trace over her curves. "I caught a few glimpses of you during the trainee days. Before we officially met when you were declared Miss Bangtan. I always thought you were so pretty. Me and my shyness prevented me from trying to approach you to say hi but whenever I saw you train, I'd stop for a moment to watch you work. You worked so hard and there was a unique fire in you that made you stand out from the other girls. And I had hoped you'd be the one to become Miss Bangtan,"

"And here we are,"

He chuckled at her response since he had said that earlier. "Here we are. I was so happy. And then I got to know you and asked you to be my Golden Best Friend. We confirmed it with friendship rings and did everything together. And I couldn't help but start to fall in love with you and that scared me because I didn't want to ruin our friendship. But as we got older and I finally had that confidence to tell you how I felt...it became one of the best decisions I have ever made in my life. I'm really happy that you're mine,"

"Jungkook..." she cupped his face and smiled. "I'm really happy that you're mine, too. We'll be together for a year in a few months. Time flew, huh?"

"Yeah, it did. Wow...a year already?"

"Seems like just yesterday I told you I loved you, too in your room. And since then, every day has been an adventure,"

"A fun one at that. I just want to be the best boyfriend, ever. Your first and last,"

"You will be my first, last, and always," she said as he played with her hand and intertwined his fingers with hers.

"Are you ready for our reveal?" he asked, since later this year they'll be revealing their relationship to the public.

"Yeah. I am. I'm going to miss this. Miss the privacy and everyone not knowing anything but I know Dispatch knows we're dating. But at least we can beat them to it and say our truth. I'm mentally prepared for it. I know you'll be by my side through it all. I have nothing to worry about when I'm with you,"

"I'm happy you know that. We'll be fine. Just like what I told you when I confessed. I meant every word. No one is going to take you away from me so easily. I'll stand next to you through it all,"

Time passed as they continued to be in each other's arms to talk. Angelina was right, pillow talk was definitely the best.

While Jungkook listened to her talk, he thought about how connected he felt with her after everything. He was never going to let her go. Not after all this. Jennie noticed his expression change which caused her to stop talking. The way he stared deeply into her eyes with deep longing made her stomach flip.

"A-are you okay?" she asked.

"Yeah...I just can't get enough of you," he leaned down to start kissing her lips again, slowly turning them over as he hovered over her.

She gasped and held onto him when she felt him grind into her.

"A-again?" she asked keenly, melting into his touch as his hands roamed over her body.

"Again. I'm not done," he responded as she giggled. 

Jennie was happy that they were on the same page with this. She wanted to ask to go again and wondered how to bring it up. His dick felt nice and introduced her to a whole world of pleasure and she couldn't wait to try different positions. Also, who knows when they will have alone time like this, again? Especially for the whole day. So they should take advantage of this moment.

Jungkook wasn't expecting himself to be hard again so suddenly but this was Jennie who he had in his arms. Who he kissed over and over again and made love to. Who he had longed for since he could remember. He wanted to do everything with her and his desires began to take over.

"Are you still flexible?" he suddenly asked.

Flexible? Just what did he have in mind? The question weighed in her mind as she thought of how she should answer.

Feeling playful, she replied in a teasing manner, as her hand went down to his hard length, "Hm...why don't you find out?" 

Groaning from her touch, Jungkook's ears perked up when she asked that enticing question.

Was that...a challenge?

"Challenge accepted," he said huskily in her ear, making her shiver.

It didn't take long for them both to be ready for the next round as he went to grab another condom to put on. On his knees, he heard her let out a surprised yelp when he quickly grabbed her ankles and swiftly pulled her to him as his pupils dilated.

"I always wanted to do this to you," he grabbed her legs and placed them over his shoulders.

He kissed her right ankle softly and looked down at her while placing a warm and firm grip on her hips. She felt even more vulnerable and excited to be in this new position as she tried to prepare for what was about to happen.

"Just tell me if it's too much or if this hurts, okay? I'll go slow, first," he reassured.

Once she confirmed that she would do as she was told, Jennie cried out when he pushed in and began to move at a slow pace to get her used to the new position. Now this position felt even deeper and had her louder as she gripped the sheets and let out a series of curses from how good it felt. Pants left Jungkook's lips as he kept his eyes locked on her while Jennie's eyes were closed, overwhelmed with pleasure.

"Look at me," he demanded.

Managing to open them to meet his ardent gaze, short, ragged gasps left her.

"W-wait—Oh my God!" she cried when he began to pick up the pace, leaning forward, bringing her knees to her chest as he placed his palms on the mattress, on either side of her head.

She tried to grab onto anything she could. The sheets, his torso, his hair, anything as she kept her eyes on him, watching his face contort in pleasure. His eyes were as dangerous as that sultry stare he kept on her and he was using all of it to his advantage to make her tremble underneath him. When she told him to find out if she was still flexible, she wasn't expecting him to bend her this early on as his hips snapped faster.

Her release hit her in waves as she screamed with her body shaking. With one last powerful thrust, his body twitched and he released into the condom. Both were shaking and breathing heavily as they stayed in the position with him looking down, enthralled by her.

"Shit...Where did you learn that!?" she exclaimed, catching her breath, feeling the after effects of her high.

He chuckled and leaned down to lock lips with hers as his tongue brushed against hers. Pulling away, he smiled. "Ah...I hope you won't get mad but I've been asking Namjoon Hyung for some advice,"

"Me? Mad? After what you just did to me, are you crazy? I need to thank him,"

He laughed as she giggled.

Jungkook felt like Namjoon was the best to have serious discussions on topics regarding taking that next step in the relationship. He loved all his hyungs and trusted them. And with Namjoon, he felt like he could confide in him the best about being an attentive boyfriend in the bedroom. And overall, the best to go to for any advice. He was a great leader and a great friend.

"I am not complaining whatsoever...oh my God..." she sighed deeply. "That was amazing,"

As they continued to catch their breath, Jungkook hadn't pulled out yet.

"Just let me...let me stay inside you just a little longer. You feel too good," he told her as she enjoyed the sensation.

He relished the feeling of being inside her. The warmth of her around him. He was happy to be vulnerable with her and be able to express himself like this. After a while, he slowly pulled out of her to remove the condom and throw it in the trash.

"Stay right there, I'll be back," he said and got out of bed.

Turning on her side to watch him, she spoke, "Nice butt,"

He chuckled and raised an eyebrow suggestively at her before leaving the room. Moments later, he came back with two bottles of water and a wet washcloth. Handing her a bottle while setting the other on the nightstand, he got back in bed.

"Thank you," she smiled and opened it to gulp some water. 

The cool drink quenched her dry throat and she was grateful. Especially due to the amount of yelling and screaming she had been doing because of him.

"Let me clean you up a bit," he said and used the washcloth to gently wipe her down. 

They both were sweaty and spent from their activities as sleep was heavy on their minds. After he wiped her down nicely, he turned off all the electric candles in the room and got under the covers with her. Pulling her into his arms, she laid on his chest with her chest flushed against his as he put the covers over them. 

"You all right?" he asked, sleepily.

"Hm-hm...I love you..." she murmured sleepily as she snuggled into his chest.

"I love you, too," he kissed the top of her head and closed his eyes.

----------

In the morning, the bedroom was brightened with the sun peeking out. Still under the sheets and lying on her own side of the comfortable bed instead of on top of Jungkook, Jennie began to stir in her slumber.

Opening her eyes, she stretched and laid on her back. Her body felt a little sore from last night's physical activities and her face flushed, remembering what had happened. A smile tugged on her mouth as she thought about how good Jungkook made her feel. Was this what it was like to be with someone you truly love? She felt like she was on a high. Warm and fuzzy feelings filled her heart as she was elated.

Turning around, she was greeted by the beautiful view of a naked Jungkook still sleeping. His hair was messy and the bed sheet was covering his lower body, showing off his toned chest and abs. His face exuded calmness as she watched him with a smile and looked at him with a deeper love. After last night, their love for each other amplified and they were even more affirmed in their feelings.

She kissed his nose and turned her back to him to grab her phone off the nightstand. She focused on answering birthday messages from yesterday and thanked friends, family, and fans for all the love. 

Feeling the bed move, she set her phone down on the mattress and felt Jungkook wrap an arm around her, pulling her to his firm chest.

"Mm...good morning," he greeted in her ear, making her shiver.

Oh...his morning voice was a whole new level of sexy. His voice was rough and deeper and she even heard a bit of his Busan Satoori accent. 

Before she could speak, he gently moved her onto her stomach and began to place soft, sensual kisses on her shoulder and down her back, making her breath hitch. His lips traveled down her spine as she trembled and he found himself going lower.

"Ah! Stop!" she laughed and squirmed when he went to gently bite her left ass cheek, feeling playful this morning.

She felt him chuckle against her body as he kissed back up her spine with his length hardened. Pulling her back against his chest, as they began to lay on their sides, she looked back and crashed her lips against his deeply.

The both of them were all over each other, unable to get enough as they kissed and touched each other like they did the night before. Both ready for round 3, Jungkook slipped on another condom as they laid on their sides, spooning. Sliding in smoothly, she gasped as he held her close, with her leg over his, thrusting in and out at a luscious pace while she pushed back with each thrust. 

They can get used to this. Being able to love each other this much without any interruptions. Their moans and heavy breathing filled the room as they made love once again. After they came down from their sweet release, with Jungkook pulling out and throwing the condom away, Jennie snuggled into his arms.

"Good morning. Can't keep your hands off me, huh?" she giggled after kissing him tenderly.

"Not after last night. And I just wanted to make sure I wasn't dreaming that last night happened. I'm happy this is real. How are you feeling?"

"Me too. I feel good. Just a little sore but I'm fine,"

"Did I do too much?"

"No, you're fine, Kook. You made me feel special," she answered while he kissed her temple.

They stayed in bed for another hour, enjoying each other's company, and proceeded to get ready for the day. Jennie put her hair in a high bun and planned her outfit for the day, setting it out on the dresser of the bedroom. Putting on her shower playlist to play on a small speaker in the bathroom, the two began to shower together. This was a whole new level of intimacy as they smiled at each other and reminisced on last night.

They showered but before they could turn off the water, the two found themselves all over each other once again. This time it was Jennie who had initiated it, pulling him to her wet body as the warm water rushed down Jungkook's back. Her heavy breathing and moans mixed with the running water as she writhed under his touch.

"You want to do this in the shower?" he grunted against her ear as her hands released his length.

"Wait...condoms. We don't have any," 

"We do. I put one condom and a specific type of lube that'll work in the shower for it. Right here," he pointed to one of the shelves of the shower.

As he said, there was a packaged condom and lube to assist with the shower. She was surprised. He really thought of everything.

"Wow, you really had this all planned out for me, huh?" 

"Just in case," he grinned sheepishly. "There are a lot of places I imagined us in...this is one of them. So, we could try it here. See if we like it, if you're up for it. I don't want to overdo it or anything if you're tired,"

"Overdo it? Nah, come here. I'm never going to get enough of you. I can handle another round," she pulled him back, backing up against the cold tile which made her shiver slightly.

He smirked. "Your wish is my command. I'm never going to get enough of you, either,"

As they kissed repeatedly, the shower water ran down his back while they were all over each other. They didn't know how much time had passed as they explored their bodies in this new environment for lovemaking but all that was on their minds was each other. After grabbing the condom to put it on himself, he used a generous amount of lube.

"Hold onto me," he instructed after lifting her to hold her securely in his arms while she was pressed against the shower wall.

He slid right in, slow and sensual as they both gasped at the feeling. The two became lost in each other once again as Jungkook began to move at an agonizingly slow pace, to try to tease her. It began to work as she whined and held onto him tighter.

"Faster..." she murmured in his ear while his face was buried in the crook of her neck.

He heard her and chuckled as she felt the vibration against her wet body. He knew what she wanted but wanted to hear her say it louder.

"Speak up, Jennie. What do you want?"

Oh, this little shit...How could he have the strength to tease her like this? This wasn't fair.

Unable to handle the slow pace, she finally relented as she let out another curse and spoke up as requested as she begged, "Please...go faster!"

Giving her what she wanted, he immediately picked up the pace, making her cry out and hold onto him tighter. Moving his head he smooched her sloppily as she moaned and whimpered against his mouth. There was no way she was going to be able to survive this with the way he snapped his hips against hers. God...her head was spinning with the way he had her yelling out for him. She knew for a fact her legs were going to feel like jelly after this with the way he was making her feel. He felt so good and felt better every time they were intimate. 

She moaned his name loudly and clenched around him as she had her release. His hips snapped into her faster with his movements getting sloppier, groaning out her name as he followed her, both riding out their high together.

Still catching their breaths, they looked at each other with satisfied smiles and kissed again as he remained inside her, enjoying the feeling. After their shower, Jennie's legs felt weak and she almost fell until he caught her.

"Easy," he soothed. "You all right?"

"I am but my legs feel like jelly," she admitted.

"Yeah...I overdid it," he chuckled.

"And it was so worth it," she responded tiredly with a chuckle.

Turning off the shower, and grabbing a towel, he wrapped it around her body and carried her bridal style out of the shower. Gently laying her on her bed, he went back to the bathroom to dry off and wrap a towel around himself, walking back in the bedroom.

"I'll take care of you. Relax. I'm going to lotion you up and help put on your outfit. Then you'll rest up, all right?"

"Mm-hm," she responded tiredly again.

Her body was spent.

To pamper her like this even though her birthday was over was sweet. He lotioned her body and even massaged her while he did it to help with the soreness. Especially for her legs. He then helped her put on her sports bra, sweatpants, and a hoodie. After she was squared away, she immediately fell asleep as he chuckled at the cute sight. Readjusting her on the bed, he gently placed a pillow under her and placed the covers over her.

Kissing her cheek, he watched her sleep, feeling satisfied. He made love to her how many times, now? Made her say his name with ecstasy in her voice, how many times? She was his and he was hers. They were 100% locked in.

After she was taken care of, he grabbed his bag to put on his new outfit for the day, consisting of a similar outfit of a hoodie and sweatpants. He then gathered their scattered clothes from last night and straightened up the bedroom.

Gently closing the bedroom door, he let her sleep. While he waited for her to wake up, he brought his Wii U and played it in the living room. After an hour passed his phone buzzed on the coffee table and he saw Namjoon calling.

"Morning, hyung," Jungkook greeted happily.

"Good morning. Are you two getting ready for breakfast?" he asked.

Breakfast?? Jungkook had forgotten that the group planned to go out to eat for breakfast. But he planned to make Jennie breakfast.

Jungkook rubbed the back of his neck as he got up to check on Jennie still sleeping and went back to the couch. "You mind if we both do a rain check? We'll be ready for dinner, later. She's still sleeping and I plan to make her breakfast in her room,"

Namjoon laughed at his response, having an understanding of what was up while Jungkook began to blush.

"Ah...Hyung, can you keep this between us?"

"Of course. I'm happy you two are happy and affirming your love for each other,"

"Thank you,"

"Is that Jungkook? Are they getting ready?" Jin asked in the background.

"It's him. They're going to eat breakfast together. They won't be joining us," Namjoon informed.

"What!? I wanted to see Jennie and spend more time with her after he hogged her all day,"

"We ate breakfast with her yesterday,"

"And I'd like to spend more time with my daughter, thank you,"

"Our daughter,"

Jungkook laughed at their banter and ignored Jin's complaining as he hung up the phone. He proceeded to make Jennie a Japanese breakfast. He planned out making her breakfast a few days before her birthday and went grocery shopping in advance. Once he finished making everything for them both, he set the dishes up on the coffee table while the TV was showing the news and how the weather was going to be today. 

Heading into her room to see her awake and scrolling her phone, he smiled. 

"Hey," he greeted softly.

Her face lit up when she turned to see him. "Hi...something smells good," 

She sat up and stretched, feeling refreshed as the soreness had felt more dull now and her legs didn't feel as weak as before. 

"Call it brunch. It's waiting for us," he proudly announced. 

"Brunch with you? How cute. What time is it?"

"It's past 1 now,"

"There is no way," she looked at the clock on her phone.

She was so fixated on continuing to reply to birthday messages and seeing the nice tweets from ARMY that she failed to acknowledge the time. It was truly past 1 pm.

"Jungkook!? Why didn't you wake me earlier? We were going to hang with Jimin and Tae, I just remembered,"

"Trust me, you needed the rest after what I did to you these past 24 hours," he reminded, causing her face to flush. "And it's a good thing we don't have a schedule today and you get to rest. So, it all worked out," 

"Okay, you got me there," she chuckled with him.

Reaching out to gently grab her, he easily lifted her in his arms to carry her to the living room and sat her down on the couch where their food was waiting for them.

"I already let them know we'll hang out with them, later. They're still here at the hotel. We'll meet them when ready," 

"Okay, cool. Wow, this looks delicious. Spoiling me, still?"

"Always. Let's eat,"

She took a bite of her steamed rice and praised him for his cooking as he felt great about himself. He loved hearing her praise him and thank him for the little things. Jennie was always vocal about the things he did for her and he appreciated that. 

As they ate, Jennie found a channel that showed a familiar anime that she remembered Taehyung mentioning. The two chatted about what they planned to do for the rest of the day and as they ate with Jungkook focused on the TV, she observed him in contentment.

So valued...so secure...she wanted this relationship to last forever. She truly believed she found the one. A walking green flag, he is. Someone so open and patient in loving her. Someone who truly sees her and is not afraid to love her, even in public. 

"What?" he grinned, sensing her looking at his face as he got lost in her eyes. 

"I love you, Jungkook," she said with a smile.

His bunny smile got wider as he leaned over to kiss her deeply. "I love you, too,"

After eating breakfast together, Jennie continued to open up her gifts and made sure to send texts and tweets to shout out everyone who had gifted her something. The two lovers continued to get ready for the day and made sure to cover up any marks from their physical activities since last night with concealer. 

Making sure she had everything, she left her room with Jungkook and placed a white cap on her head. "Okay! Let's meet up with Jimin and Taehyung,"

"Onward!" Jungkook smacked her butt and walked beside her as she giggled.

----------

The couple met up with the other half of the Maknae line so they could do some sightseeing for the day. Meeting them outside, the four of them began walking. Jimin and Taehyung began to notice Jennie and Jungkook acting closer than before and peeped at how Jungkook seemed to act clingier in a way. And there was a sudden glow about Jennie that could not be ignored as she smiled happily. Curiosity popped up between the two as they wondered what happened.

"Ennie! So, how was your birthday? It's been all day and now we see you? Are you all right?" Taehyung asked with a grin.

"Yeah! It was so much fun! We went to Universal and we got to see Harry Potter World! Butterbeer is SO good! And yeah, I'm fine. I was catching up on sleep. I was up all night," 

A low chuckle escaped Jungkook's lips as he thought about the context of her statement and smirked to himself. All the memories of her under him came back as he thought about how crazy they were about each other. Catching the reaction, Jennie locked eyes with her lover and felt her face warm up as she chuckled softly. 

Jimin and Taehyung glanced at each other as they watched closely at the couple's body language and reactions to her statement.

"Jeon Jungkook...Jennifer Walker." Jimin called them out.

"Yeah? What is it?" she asked, reluctantly turning away from Jungkook to look at him.

"What, hyung?" Jungkook asked as his lingering gaze on her stayed. After a moment, he finally turned to Jimin to see what he wanted.

Jimin narrowed his eyes, observing them suspiciously while the couple raised an eyebrow.

"Mm-hm." Jimin nodded to himself and glanced at Taehyung.

"Mm-hm?" Taehyung glanced back and Jimin nodded in response. 

"Mm-hm..." they both said and gave each other knowing looks, chuckling to themselves.

"So, Jennie, was Jungkook golden in lovemaking, too?" Jimin teased with a grin.

Jungkook let out a cough, looking shooked while Jennie widened her eyes and turned away.

"He was! Oh my God! You two finally did it!? It took you both long enough! And why didn't you tell us this, earlier!? Our ship has sailed to NEW heights!" Taehyung cheered.

"Why would we do that!?" Jungkook exclaimed.

Jennie groaned. "This isn't something the whole world should know."

"But we're the Maknae Line! We tell each other everything!" Jimin whined.

"Oh my God..." Jennie sighed.

"Oh my gosh, do your sisters know that their baby sister is-"

"NO!" she cut Jimin off.

"Does Jin know!? His reaction will be priceless!" Taehyung laughed.

"NO! And we'd like to keep it that way!" Jungkook exclaimed.

"So, this is why she was walking a little funny," Jimin laughed loudly while Taehyung giggled.

Jennie pushed her cap down to hide her embarrassment as she looked down. Her face was on fire from their constant teasing while Jungkook went to hit them both.

"Hyung!" Jungkook shouted, face getting pink.

"What? We think it's adorable! If you need any alone time, we can help!"

"Yeah! It's nice to see our Golden Couple so close as of late," Taehyung added with a boxy smile.

"So, Jennie, was Jungkookie manly?" Jimin teased, raising his eyebrows.

"Chill!" Jennie whined, covering her face.

"Let's go!" Jungkook grabbed her hand and walked away while the 95 Liners continued to laugh out loud and ran after them.

--------

Later in the evening, all of Bangtan went out to eat in a private area for dinner to catch up. Jennie sat in between Jungkook and Hobi as they all ate their food happily. Jen settled for ramen and devoured the noodles with delight.

"Well, it's finally good to see you, Jennie. Where have you been all day? We tried to get a hold of you for breakfast but Jungkook said you were still sleeping," Jin brought up. 

"We ate breakfast together," she answered with a smile.

"He hogged you all day yesterday and even all morning. It's good to see you, now," Yoongi added.

"Haha, it's good to see you guys, too! I just had a long night and slept in. But my birthday was fun!" she replied, smiling brightly.

"What did you do? I saw your tweets at Universal! I want to go next time,"

"We all gotta make a trip there, it was a blast! The rides were lit," she enthused as she recapped her time with Jungkook at Universal.

"Butterbeer, huh? I'm curious," Hobi added.

Dinner was filled with good vibes and silliness like always as everyone laughed at whatever jokes were said or silly acts were performed. Amused at Hobi and Taehyung's silliness, Jennie and Jungkook began clapping their hands while laughing, throwing their heads back.

Jimin and Taehyung glanced at each other and grinned. Now they were doing the same mannerisms as each other? This was too cute.

"You two laugh the same!" Taehyung giggled.

"Yeah! And you moved the same!" Jin pointed out.

"Lately it's like you two are starting to act the same, sometimes," Hobi added.

"We are?" the couple asked in unison which caused the guys to chuckle at their point being made.

"Usually Jungkook claps and laughs. Jen, it seems like you picked up on his habit. It's cute," Yoongi observed.

"Really? I didn't even notice," she giggled, glancing at Jungkook with a smile.

After eating, Jennie decided to do some last minute grocery shopping because she wanted to try to make a Japanese cake after coming across so many bakeries in Japan. She wanted to learn more about baking different types of sweets and decided to try to make herself a Japanese Strawberry Shortcake. She had tried one before and loved it and wanted to create her own version.

Wanting to keep her company, the Hyung Line decided to join her while the Maknae Line went to hang out somewhere else. Finding a grocery store that didn't have that many people, they began to shop while wearing their masks.

"What do you plan to make?" Jin asked while Hobi pushed Jen's shopping cart for her.

"Oh, so you know the Japanese strawberry shortcake? I've been researching how people make it and their techniques. I want to try to create my own," she answered happily.

"You sharing?" Namjoon immediately asked.

"I want a slice," Yoongi spoke up.

"Me too~!" Hobi cheered.

"If there is anyone who deserves a slice, it's me! You are sharing, right, Jennie?" Jin asked, hopeful. 

She giggled at their enthusiasm. "Yes, I'm sharing. I'll let you guys know when I finish making it,"

The boys cheered at that, yelling happily as she laughed.

"Do you have the list of ingredients?" Yoongi asked.

"Mm hm. I have it on my phone," she answered while checking out the fruit section.

While they shopped, Yoongi began to research the Japanese Strawberry Shortcake on his phone and wandered off to grab recommended ingredients. Finding his group after a few minutes, he placed the ingredients in the cart.

"What's this?" she asked him.

"I read that these specific brands are the best for making the cake. Try it out, see if it'll enhance it," 

"Aw, thanks, Yoongi! I'll try it out,"

Yoongi smiled under his mask, happy that she accepted his suggestion. 

As they were finishing up their shopping with the boys carrying the bags for her, they began walking back to their hotel. But then, Jen's phone crashed onto the ground, being protected by her phone case after it slipped out her hands.

"Ahhhhhh~! Her phone dropped!" Hobi yelled while the guys began freaking out with him which startled her.

"Miss Bangtan dropped her phone! Holy shit!" Yoongi dramatically yelled.

"She dropped her phone! Her phone is down!" Jin cried.

"Her phone is on the ground!" Namjoon shouted as he and the rest of the boys gathered around the phone, looking down at it.

Jennie watched in amusement as they pretended to be a referee for a boxing match and began counting like it was a knockout.

"1!"

"2!"

"3!"

"4!"

"You guys are so dramatic! What the hell?" she laughed as she bent down to pick up the phone while they laughed with her. 

Once making it back to the hotel, she stayed in her room alone to work on her cake while Jungkook was still out. Looking back at the recipe and videos to make sure she followed the directions, she felt confident in having the cake turn out well. She worked hard as she followed every tip and direction, making the cake with love and putting her spin on it.

After a while, she heard a series of knocks on her door and Jen washed her hands and opened it to let Jungkook in.

"Hey! Welcome back," she gave him a sweet kiss after shutting the door.

"Hey, I missed you. How was shopping?"

"It was fun. I just finished the cake. You want to be my taste tester?"

"Hell yeah! How did it go baking it?" he asked as they walked over to the kitchen to see the delicious shortcake. 

It looked mouthwatering. The soft, fluffy sponge cake sat on a platter, decorated nicely with strawberries and whipped cream.

"I think it went all right. I didn't have any trouble when making it. I had some good references. I want to start trying new recipes to expand my baking skills,"

"So, I get to be your taste tester before you give it to the guys?" he asked happily.

She giggled. "Yes. They're eager to try it but I wanted you to try it first. I like hearing your opinions. Your feedback means a lot to me as well as your suggestions with everything,"

Jungkook smiled at that and kissed her temple. "How lucky am I? I'm glad to hear that,"

"Moment of truth. Let me know what you think," she cut a slice and placed it on a paper plate along with a plastic fork for him.

His doe eyes looked at the slice with delight as he picked up the fork to take a big bite. His expectations for her baking were always reasonably high because he was confident in how talented she was with her baking. No matter what she does, it always turns out well.

The Golden Maknae's eyebrows furrowed immediately as he continued to eat it. The cake was moist and light as the strawberries tasted sweet. Jungkook felt like he just bit into a cloud and whatever she had done for the whipped cream enhanced the cake even more. Meanwhile, Jennie watched him chew as nervousness was at the pit of her stomach. She was her worst critic when it came to baking new recipes and hoped she did it justice. 

As she observed him he looked...angry? Did it taste nasty?

'Damn, this is good. How did I get so lucky to have a girlfriend who bakes this well?' he happily thought.

Jungkook immediately ate another forkful, chewing it vigorously as he enjoyed every bite. He kept chewing while Jennie assumed it was a negative reaction and he just wanted to keep eating to not hurt her feelings.

"U-um...Kook? You good?" she asked with some nervousness in her voice.

Swallowing the sweet bite, he looked up at her as if nothing was wrong. "Yeah, why?"

"Why? You tearing that shit up but you look mad," she giggled. "Is it good or bad? You're making me a little nervous,"

He laughed at her concerns and reassured her, "It's amazing! And this is your first time making this, too? You did a great job. The right amount of sweetness and the cream is the best part. I want another slice!"

Relief washed over her as she smiled widely and kissed his cheek. So, if something tastes really good, Jungkook looks angry when eating it. Jennie made a mental note to remember that. 

[loulines]

June 21st, 2020. We were in the middle of the first wave of a global pandemic, the entire world turned upside down.

Season 7 of The Clone Wars ended less than two months before. And on that day I did something that would forever change my life.

I joined a rexsoka group chat.

It was a small group, since Tumblr group chats weren't really big to begin with. And it was rexsoka, after all, I remember when we had only about 300 fics on AO3 at the time. I remember being very anxious about joining because I felt that I'm not gonna fit in and no one would like me.

If only I knew...

That moment was the beginning of the biggest rollercoaster of my life, full of both the happiest, and the most heartbreaking memories.

The group chat moved to Discord well before Tumblr removed the bugged and broken feature, to the server owned by the most amazing person I have ever known. The members joined and left, but a portion of the OG members have become my closest friends. We shared secrets with each other that we'd never share with anyone else, we joked, laughed, argued... But we'd still stick together, even if we spent less time interacting.

In the meantime I started drawing again, after being art blocked for years. Even though I will never get close to the most popular artists in the fandom, I was still shocked at the amount of feedback I've received. I will be forever grateful for that.

Then I moved on from reading fics to writing my own stories, and I even collabed on a fic, which I never thought I would do. It was amazing.

Over those 3 years I've done things I never would've expected myself to do before.

Both good and horrible things...

Now, 3 years later, on June 21st, 2023...

I don't know what I'm doing anymore... I don't know who I am anymore. I don't know what to believe in anymore...

I kept hurting people, especially those closest to me, and I kept hurting myself.

Those anniversaries were always very important to me, because it was about meeting my dear friends.

But this anniversary...

I will spend attending my very first therapist appointment.

I don't even know what to expect from it, I'm beyond terrified. I'm terrified of the things I have to confess to them. I'm terrified of sharing my story and my problems with them because those memories make my heart bleed. I'm terrified of the diagnosis I might get or that the only "diagnosis" I will get will be the fact that I'm fucked up and just a terrible person in general.

But I have to do it. It's not only for myself, but in the majority it is. Because the only other option I have left would result in my name being put on my grave...

I don't know what will happen on the 4th anniversary. I no longer look into the future with anticipation. The past seems so distant nowadays and the present... Just is.

I want to thank everyone who's left a like, a comment, or a reblog on my posts. I'd like to thank each and every of my followers. I'd especially like to thank all my friends, the ones still around for still putting up with my bullshit, and to those I cannot talk to anymore, for putting up with my bullshit in the past. Thank you for the amazing memories.

And I'm sorry for all the trouble and drama I've caused.

I hope you guys stay healthy.

Maybe once I fix my mental health I'll go back to drawing and writing. And I'll stop being so overdramatic in my posts. And in my life as well.

x

[jovenshires]

i personally feel like if you're writing rpf you've gotta be prepared that the people you're writing about do have internet access and aren't clueless y'know? like. i understand not wanting them to see it and for their sake id hope they wouldn't either but no one is entitled to write about a real person and then demand that real person can't access something that is literally About Them. like. just bc they're "famous" doesn't make them public domain yknow.

now i do find those youtubers read fanfic videos kinda cringe personally too bc i mean they always have to choose bad or funny ones otherwise itd be 10h long and awkward. but yeah im also like. those people chose to write and upload those somewhere on a public forum that the people they're writing about Do have access to. i feel like that just comes with the territory in rpf. they aren't fictional and they can in fact read those. if you don't want them to it should be shared somewhere very personal imo.

but yeah obviously since the majority of the fics that do get picked for those vids are probably written by teenagers i do feel kinda bad for them for that but i feel like thats a hard lesson in that those people are in fact real and can see it. i never rly enjoy the content where ppl read fanfics about themselves tho for this reason. but if this is going to be submitted ones i think that might be funny and definitely a better way to go about this on their part. i still dread it tho and will probably cringe out of my skin (also i wonder who that video will include...)

i do agree with you. i put a warning before all my fics in the hopes that they won't read it, but as my dear friend mer always says, i'm not a cop. i can't control what you do. and i joke that i want spencer agnew to block me but it's just that - a joke (well, a half-joke). if they're seeking this out, that's on them at that point. they are grownups; they know how the internet works and they know how to avoid things and how to search them out. i can't even really be pissed if they put my work in a video, bc hey, it's out there (even if i would rather they didn't look in my general direction). but at the same time, i will say this:

i am making these things about smosh members, but they're certainly not for smosh members. they can read them if they wish or use them if they wish (like i said i literally cant do anything to stop them bc, you're right, we do publish these things publically) but they're not made for them. so when they read them and they're like "oh, that's weird, who would write something like that," well. it wasn't intended for them to read in the first place. and now they've gone and alienated a bunch of people who looked up to them. people who watched their content and were inspired to create something. it's kind of hard to stomach when they're mocking a portion of their fanbase - and not only are they mocking them, but they're making them a butt of the joke for other portions of their fan base. they uplift fan artists and video editors, but fic authors for some reason are always looked down upon. i think there's a difference between acknowledging it exists / talking about it and directly making content to target it you know.

i don't know if there's a "lesson" to be learned from all this. i don't personally think those teens who were writing that fanfiction deserve to be ridiculed for it. i think they'd found a way to express themselves and that's great. i personally hadn't written for months when i started writing smosh fic again, and writing is truly one of my biggest passions in life. the smosh cast, who i'm incredibly grateful for, led me back to it. but i digress; maybe i'm just naive.

i'll also add: i'm not saying, like, fuck the smosh cast for this btw. like i do agree it is their right to look at things on the internet made about them and use it for content. they're even allowed to make fun of it. i'm sure to some people it is weird to read stuff like that about yourself, they're allowed to say that and have that opinion. so go ham, make this kind of video all you want. im just saying it's kind of a dick move and i personally am not a fan of it. but im not gonna stop watching smosh over it or anything and i don't think the cast is worse people for it. i just dislike this kind of video. i dislike a lot of videos - i don't enjoy the tntl trivial pursuit videos and the fortnite videos either. this doesn't make me any less of a fan of theirs, just an opinionated fan.

anyway, like i said, i'm glad it's submitted fics - truly, i'm thrilled. it's still not for me (like i said i already have a hard enough time watching smosh pit theater........ i simply cant do this) but i think it's fine and a good way to go about it!! i hope the video is, for everyone who enjoys this kind of thing, a good video. as for whos gonna be in it - could be anybody at this point (ive read so many pairings yall have no idea) but im so certain i/anthony is gonna be there.

tldr: i do agree, but i also think the renditions of this they've done in the past have mocked fic writers for no good reason. if you want to watch the video i hope you enjoy, and i'm glad they're using submitted fics this time ! <3

[cookiemom6067]

I know you’ve done a lot of snw podfics. But I was wondering about your opinions on the actual show.

Your favourite thing?

Something you wish they would explore?

Favourite character or episode?

Where would you rate it amongst the other Trek shows? 

A pet peeve?

(Not gonna lie, I put this last one so I could complain about the boots. I live in the city where the boots were designed and I can tell you from wearing them (you can buy them at the artist’s store)They are a nightmare to walk in incredibly uncomfortable. I hate them, it’s truly the most unrealistic thing about Strange New Worlds)

I've been sitting on this ask for a while, so I'm sorry about that.

Favorite thing: I really love the work the actors are doing. Ethan is a standout, and I love the work that Jess has done with Chapel and, of course, Anson.

I wish they would explore: They really fell into the Spock Chapel romance, but I liked her better in the first season when she was more independent. So, I guess that means I wish they world expand on Chapel's individual journey. I really don't see how they get from here to their TOS relationship (or lack of same).

Favorite character/episodes: I really loved Subspace Rhapsody, honestly. And the Those Old Scientists. I also loved The Elysian Kingdom. I guess I like the unusual ones, where the cast can do something fun and different. Among the regular episodes, Lost in Translation and All Those Who Wander are faves.

How would I rate it among Star Trek shows: I would rate it pretty high. My previous favorites have been the original series and Voyager. I watched TNG when it first started, but we stopped before it got good. It was several years into their run before I watched it again. I didn't really like the Dominion War and the prophets in DS9. I did faithfully watch Enterprise, but it had its issues, too. I also loved Discovery (especially S 2). I thought a lot of the criticism it got was made in bad faith due to racism and misogyny. I'm not best at the rating thing, but it's definitely one that I love and rewatch. It also pulled me back into active Star Trek fandom in a big way, so I'm grateful for that.

I have a peeve that is growing, and that's when they make Spock the butt of so many jokes. I loved Charades when I first saw it, but as I rewatched few times, I got annoyed at the way they want to make his dedication to "the Vulcan Way" all down to biology. Why would his ethical and cultural values just go out the window (looking at you, bacon scene)? The teachings of Surak are a choice that is made. No child is born reserved and logical. See: the bullying that he went through. We've known Vulcans can reject Surakian logic as far back as "The Final Frontier."

I've seen the first look we got from SDCC, and honestly, I hated it. Now, they are saying bigotry (and hairstyles) is in the DNA, as well? Doubling down in the problemmatic part of Charades? I really dislike his closest friends treating him that way. I hope the rest of the episode redeems it, I'm trying to be optimistic, but how could Spock trust them after that?

[pocketramblr]

A couple things that I thought I could contribute to ur hell school AU if you enjoy any of these things from my school experience

- my friend group would do a lovely thing, that is cuddle piles, anywhere from 3-5 of us would just lay in a pile cuddling (I can see Izuku and his friends doing this) we would joke that everyone probably just assumed we were all in one big polyamorus relationship

- Walls constantly had holes in them. I saw someone kick a like, 3 feet tall/wide hole in the wall. There was also a small hole called the milk hole that people kept putting milk in (no I do not know why)

we also had someone tear a water fountain off the wall (they didn't take it tho)

- if someone is coding you WILL get weird errors such as "I.AddChild is not a function" and everyone in the room is gonna be just as confused as you are

- clubs can be a lovely source of chaos like maybe you get a gay teacher running dnd club or animation club with a yearly contest (put artists in a room for an entire school day, tell them to animate something by the end of the day they will have no sanity left-) the coding thing came from a club as well. Maybe you accidentally start a new club when you were just trying to use the 3d printers for cosplay

- our band room which was really tall had a outlet on the roof and our band teacher would say that there was a trampoline club and they would try and plug their phones into the outlet if someone asked

- one time when we had classes online the class devolved into showing of pets and in a different one showing weapons, mainly sword type things (same teacher specifically the gay one with the dnd club)

- we had a remote control r2d2 (like a few feet tall) that one of our clubs made and you'd occasionally see around the halls

Not sure how much they contribute but enjoy (and I hope your students are good to you I probably was both really pleasant but also a pain to teach, glad I'm not in school anymore)

Aww one of my favorite times of the school year is when the robotics kids build little robot dogs and race them in the hallway

As for the holes in the wall... Yeah, we got those, but now I guess I'm grateful that no students are pouring milk in them??? Pls don't do that

[inkwolvesandcoffee]

Kinda (REALLY!) in the mood for werewolf bakery owner!Leo

TH Masterlist

“Malen’kiy, some things, da, don’t work.”

Hush! I’ll have it make sense. I’ll be drawing mostly off of the small head canon I’ve already established for him, though.

In a nutshell, for those who’ve missed Conversations over Coffee, you live together with Leo in a big cottage in a more remote part of the Cotswolds. You’re his supervisor in the WHO’s reintegration program for the supernatural. He’s a fugitive werewolf who’s been given asylum and is slowly starting to warm up to you.

But now I’m thinking you also inherited, aside from the house, a rather dilapidated building in town from your late grandmother.

Having always loved baking, you’ve decided to pursue your dream and turn it into a bakery.

This is where Leo also comes in because he’s been a major help during the building’s renovation and setting up shop. Believe it or not, but he’s actually quite handy. 

However, he took the joke of ‘having to earn your keep’ literally, resulting in working himself to the bone.

“Leo, I didn’t mean it,’’ you told him when you finally managed to get him to sit down for a break. ‘‘I was just pulling your leg.”

“You weren’t.’’

“I was.”

“Net. I don’t remember you pulling on my leg.’’ He squinted, utterly confused. ‘‘You did not touch my leg.”

“Not literally! A joke, it was a joke! You don’t have to keep exhausting yourself like this. I’m grateful for your help, but I won’t turn you out if you don’t help out at all.”

“No, I will continue to help.” He looked into his tea cup, his voice lowered and his words slower. “Because this is my dream too.”

“How do you mean?”

You didn’t expect him to open up, knowing well how reserved he is. So it came as a surprise when he breathed in deeply and told you a bit about himself, his past.

“Back in Russia, I wondered what I do, net, would do without the KGB. I used to help my grandmother in her bakery, you know? Run around town delivering bread and pastries. It made me happy. But then you grow up and that happy little pup had to learn how to survive in a cold world.”

“I can’t bring back the boy you once were, but I’d very much like it if you’d become my business partner.”

“You would?”

“Fancy trying?”

He hummed then, one of the few times he’d shown his delight. “Da.”

Though he’s good at baking too, Leo busies himself with coffee and tea while you whip up pastries and cakes. Nevertheless, both of you make sure there’s plenty of Russian pastries (Leo’s territory you refuse to dabble in) to choose from too.

He has plans to teach you how to make his favourites, rogaliki & kartoshka. However, he’s still waiting for the right time and first wants to have more trust in you before he teaches you the recipes taught him by his mother and late wife, Raisa.

Yes, indeed, he’s a widower.

A secret he keeps safely locked away.

A burden he hopes to one day shed somehow.

Female customers go insane during the summer because Leo unconsciously shows off his sturdy and lightly tattooed arms. Usually he wears a long-sleeved shirt or a button-up one, of which he rolls up the sleeves. However, once it gets warmer, he’ll switch to T-shirts.

Which are all black, the only pop of colour being from the print on them.

Wee note on the tats: he’s gotten a couple more since he moved in, most of them on his upper arms and torso.

Prefers appointments on Sunday so you can tag along and it won’t interfere with business. Basically, he makes a day trip out of it.

Or a holiday for both of you to enjoy if the tattoo artist works in a studio that’s too far away.

Refuses to enlighten you about the reason why he got a sparrow on his left peck, right over his heart.

Nowadays often leans in closely when you’re taking orders at the till. Occasionally, at random and no matter the person, he’ll put one of his big wolf paws on your waist, just within sight of the customer.

Nonetheless, there’s a philosophy behind the new form of intimacy. The more he starts to trust you, the more he feels drawn to you.

You’ve given Leo a new chance at life and he’ll do his damned best to protect that.

But there’s one aspect of it he’s fiercer about than anything else.

You.

Because it means nothing to him if you aren’t there

With him.

Tag List: @potter-solomons @hecatemoon87 @vir-tual @alikaheroes @buttercup32sstuff @woofgocows @zablife @liliac-dreamer @dreamlandcreations @elijahssuit​ @ilovemanypeople​

[michiruze]

Anton Yelchin for me....i might only know him from Kelvin Universe Star Trek movies, but he was so young and talented (and cute)

And in the year of so many deaths, losing him was one of the worst things to ever happen in 2016. It felt like a sick joke, because his career was just starting to take off in the mainstream. I actually cried hearing the news to his death, and for his death being caused by a faulty car? It feels like the world did a very offensive joke.

I was rooting for him. And I can say that he paved the way for 'white boy actors' of the late-2010s such as Timothee Chalamet....Anton was the original.

Predictably I bawled my eyes out when I went to see Star Trek Beyond. Regardless of how you feel about the Kelvin Trek movies, you definitely hope that he's beaming up there in heaven together with Nimoy, Roddenberry, and DeForest Kelley (and James Doohan).

While we're at it, let me offer you a song to listen to cry your feelings on.

I'd like to use this opportunity to offer few words of comfort to those who feel this way to certain artists.....I forgot when this was said, but Gerard Way once said that when an artist/musician/actor/writer passes away, their souls are being returned to where ideas comes from. Seeing the passing of artists that way for me had made me approach this topic in a more healthy way.

But if you feel personal connection to them and just can't stop dreading the day where your favourite artist passing away, especially if they're very old:

Treasure them while they're here. Appreciate them in any ways you can, give love to their works and artistry. If you have an artist you adore, adore them.

We all love our aging actors and directors, they are all wonderful, and yet we cant stop thinking about their age, and for that ----- Love them while they're here. Keep enjoying their work, keep appreciating what they do. Love and appreciate them for being here with us. Be grateful that you get to share a space with them.

And it's okay to feel sad, let it all out if you feel that way. But know that you've appreciated them in ways you can. So say it, Ditto.

My answer is yes for Heath Ledger. I was obsessed with him when he died and it broke my little pre-teen heart 💔

[brooklynislandgirl]

S: SWEETHEART. did your muse have a childhood sweetheart? / M: MOONLIGHT. what is your muse’s ideal date?

Valentine ABCs || -

The look on Ben's face is dubious. Has been since she invited him to climb into the water with her. She wonders if it's the self-awareness that comes with being watched as he starts to undress with grudging slowness. The twitch of his corner of his mouth and the quaint way he looks and then looks away when she rises from the water in full Botticelli radiance. The bubbles help preserve her modesty and his. His bones melt seemingly in the same fashion as his resolve and he sinks down, down, down. Becomes her bedrock sand and she layers herself against him. The oversized antique tub accommodates them both and the water retains surprising heat. Like magick. As is so often the case when Ben doesn't know what to do with himself, he begins conversations mid-thought. Pathways of imagination she doesn't always follow whether because she missed half of what he said or because he arrives at them in a round about way as so often artists and madmen do. Sometimes she's not sure which he is, sometimes she think he's both, and either way, he's beautiful. "Da shark," she answers. She doesn't have to explain which one. Ben is now so familiar with her that he understands the kapu she places on her scar and from there it's easy to extrapolate the villain of the piece."Didn' know den what it meant t' be wanted to da point of consumption. What hunger and need makes of us. Dat it was all gonna be a stark contrast f' da rest of my life, ya know? Den, I only understood how fast it had been, how sleek, an' how kinda sad I nevah got t' really...interact wi' it." She winds her fingers through his.

"Andy use t' say I was stupid, no can have shark sweetheart. I t'ought he was stupid for t'inking you could only love human kine. Our old ways teach dat aut'ority is based on seniority from da major gods to da youngest child, an' dat an elder braddah's aut'ority over da younger could be challenged only when da elder acted wi' unwarranted cruelty or against cultural norms of acceptable behaviour. We used t' disagree a lot, but mos'ly about dat. I guess mebbe he was da first one to realise I was-" Broken. "-Different. Older I got...I nevah really branched out dat way. I had a couple friends ~boys an' girls~ I was pretty close to, but mos' people in my life were Andy's friends an' I jus' kind of tag along. An' mebbe da reason I should be apologisin' to you, huh?" ~*~ She drains some of the water using only her toes to lift the stopper then put it back in place. Same thing she does with the taps to refill the tub and to revive the bubbles. Monkey-toes, Andy used to say when they were little. Beth would counter that it made her good at surfing. Ben doesn't really need to know that, though. Those days are too lost to a time and place she can never go back to, and dwelling in them are meant for private moments where she doesn't have to worry about maintaining appearances.

"Probably sometime in April or September. When dere's enough light and warm in da air ya probably not gonna die of hypot'ermia, but is still softness, da promise of rain in da air an' nature's offerin' her first flowers or last fruits." She knows it's an old joke but there's truth in it even if she hopes to make him smile. "Sometimes I...I just like mindlessly ridin' traisn wi' you. No destination or purpose. Riddem of da rails beneath us, sometimes sharin' music on eiddah side of a single pair headphones. Like goin' t museums an' zoos, too. An' sometimes... okay, mos' times...jus' like curl up on an' around you. Feel your skin on mine. Lissen t' what your body says when you're head is too too full. Sounds creepy when I say it aloud, yeah?" The truth is that Beth doesn't really need much; in some ways she's like a human succulent. A little light, a little water in those few and far between moments, and she's grateful, satisfied with what she is given. "I'm hones'ly happy jus' bein' in your orbit, ya know?" The slightest pause. "Do you....wish I was different?" Better.

[purpleshybear01]

Updates on my social media accounts.

(Please read the rest the update, this is serious.)

Too the new followers and the old followers who have been following me for long time now. Welcome to my account and my username is purpleshybear01, but you can call me Ansley (it’s my real name what ever you can call me). I’m a digital artist who posted drawing and some random posts and videos on my account and who is a female adult in her 20s with autism and is bisexual, pansexual, furry and kinda a fan girl just likes too.…...draw, listening to music, cartoons, playing video games, food, something is cute and wholesome, horror, dark and edgy and likes the color of purple. That’s not what I’m gonna explain all about it, but I’m doing an update on my accounts for everyone who follow me to give a new rule to it. I don’t know where to start, but I’ll try my best to explain everything here. For the update on this account is gonna too be something where it’s like the other artists are gonna be posting not safe for work account thing for adults too view and I’m giving a fair warning too some others who are minors and who aren’t into some……mature content stuff please leave and don’t follow me. This account is not for everyone too view with my drawings for the future one day and this is a warning for everyone please leave and unfollow me if you aren’t into these drawings stuff and if you are very young please leave. Be responsible if you aren’t into anything of it, I’m serious for all about this. And……..maybe I was gonna find some ways to put them on private or other stuff how artists do to make a adult space for adults only.

I know many people like my account with my art and I’m grateful for it for all the support and everything, but too be honest about this…...I…I do want to draw some not safe for work drawings space for adults because I’m adult now. And I know what I said on my timeline on instagram to be a joke, but I was telling the truth like maybe someday with nsfw art content and…….I don’t want some minor’s witness some of these stuff for adults only can view. Sometimes I’m not really fond of kids, babies and I’m not a babysitter or a teacher towards minors, but I’m okay too have fans who are minors who look up too me on my content as artist, but I didn’t say anything about my content is safe for work for everyone too look up and I just want to tell a fair warning and everyone safety on the internet please leave or don’t follow me if your very young or if you aren’t into any of those stuff as a grown up please leave. So………….that’s all I’m gonna say about the update here for my content and I don’t know where too say the rest here, but I hope this update post make sense and I’m serious for this update and please do what it says. And I be posting some more art soon or one day when I get the chance and I’ll see you guys later, bye.

[daisynik7]

PLEASE BY ALL MEANS PROPOSE, I AM SO READY 👰🏻‍♀️ *ahem* i mean *cooly leans against the wall with a rose between my teef* hey cutie ;)

wait no, i can’t i’m a poser:( it’s pathetic. i’m kicking my feet, blushing so much rn, the dumbest giggles, this is crazy 🥲 thank you for YOUR kind words, having your support means the world to me and i hope you to be the same for you <3

but it truly is so beautiful, i’ve recently started to love seeing peoples different mediums of expression, whether it’s fanart, series/ film edits, and pics of course!!! i hope that this is something that continues to garner joy for you as a hobby, i surely love it, and i’m glad others love it. you articulate that creativity beautifully and i hope looking back at this page, you’re proud of what you made. 🥹 anime is relatively new for me too, and i feel like i’ve learnt more and appreciated the characters though fics than i do from watching the actual show @gege you are no longer the artist for jujutsu kaisen after what you’ve done, enjoy retirement bb 🥰 

and yes PLEASE let me talk about strawberry soju for a sec, first of all you said you based this off a song, i’m only finding results for one song by jesse barrera. A VIBE, we love that. second off, i just need to get it off my chest, i love foodie sasha! third, personally i know you for nanami wips n fics, but what you write for other characters, ART🤌🏼fourth, anything you write i will eat up. shamelessly. just know that :) also yes, kbbq was a special occasion meal for us so yes i get giddy over any reference of korean cuisine!

lastly, i’m so happy to hear that you were able to get out of the house and spend time with those core people, i’d like to take this moment to invite them to our wedding 🫶🏼

i’m not ready for the finale, i’m still not over the fact that they glazed over bertholdt’s death and reiner’s (lack of) reaction, like what? i’m also still considering do i need to continue jjk? probably not, i was just joking about actually being a masochist.🫣 

nonetheless; love you my sweet daisy, have a wonderful day/night! 🤍

don't worry, I'm already planning our wedding, honeymoon, and early retirement ;) we're going to be so happy together!! 😭♥️

I will be your biggest cheerleader, I promise you! I love seeing how people express themselves through art. I've always been an avid consumer of fan works (fanart, fan fiction, etc.). I agree that these fics have expanded on the characters much much more than what we're actually given LOL. As much as I appreciate the universe gege has created, these fics feed into my obsession even more and I'll always be grateful to every single writer/artist out there that is contributing to this fandom (and all fandoms in general).

hearing your thoughts on strawberry soju makes me so so happy!! thank you again for reading it ♥️ foodie Sasha is canon, I always imagine here with a hot potato in her pocket for snacking LOL. I have written a lot of Nanami content, but Eren also holds a special place in my heart.

also, we're going to have such bomb ass food at our wedding - filipino and korean cuisine, can it get any better than this?!

ahhhh okay I won't say anything to not spoil you, but I definitely have lots and lots of thoughts about it. can't wait to hear what you think. AND I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT THIS (regarding continuing jjk). Not sure why I'm putting myself through this pain and misery anymore! it's too much!! but the story and characters are so captivating, idk if I can really drop it completely. we shall see...

I LOVE YOU THEA!! hope you're having a great start to your week so far! 💗💗💗

[dailycass-cain]

Speaking as one of them. Being part of that WHOLE era. Why the waterworks started when holding a physical copy Shadow of the Batgirl and then the damn opening when reading that introduction by writer Sarah Kuhn.

I never thought IN A MILLION years. That Cassandra Cain would ever be given ANYTHING like that again. All the stuff that happened from 2006-2020. I'll fully admit I was beaten and trained by what DC did. Always waiting for them to change their mind, and pull the rug out from under me. Like they did when they walked back on her being EVIL. When they brought her back as Batgirl. When they said they had "big plans". And so on... and so forth with this little dance they gave... dangling that possibility. Then yanking it and we're given limbo.

Just the complete mismanagement by DC Comics. Because simply put, the character ages Bruce and Babs, and they saw NOTHING in the character.

While fans did see things. So many of us did. We did our best with what we had. Writing. Drawing. So many years trying to keep the character afloat. Showing others what we saw.

But that period broke so many. Many gave up with the New 52 being the final straw. Just the absolute. But I didn't. I saw what "they saw" and said, "NO!" I kept that fire burning best I could via anything social media, via my secondary job (at the time) being a part of theOuthousers (which I worked for during the New 52 era until the site's closure).

I tried my very best to just hope for that happy ending.

And... we got Shadow of the Batgirl.

Like... holding that copy. Opening to that introduction reading that graphic novel awakens all the emotions of what was endured. And.. I'm actually holding a solo graphic novel that stars Cassandra Cain. Not only that. Stars her as Batgirl. That treats her and Babs. Adds things to the mythos. Kuhn was much a fan as me. She did it. She got it. Nailed everything.

That's why I cry. A grown-ass old fan just crying his eyes out over a fictional character because a creative team understands them and delivers a banger story too.

Part of me wants to meet Kuhn one day. But another part of me doesn't. Because I'll be a balling mess.I already met artist Nicole Goux and thanked her to the heavens for what she drew in that book. I even got a commission to her drawing Cass for me:

Why I'm more mellow when it comes most when something happens to Cass (say the way she acts or was drawn in Batgirls), the cameos in Tom Taylor's Nightwing (fun stuff). Or Tynion's stuff. But I will criticize when it needs to be critical (i.e. "Gotham War" or the lack of positive exposure in the current Batman run). In truth, I'd probably shake James Tynion IV's hand and thank him repeatedly if he wasn't impossibly hot right now in the comic book world. That and Jessica Chen.

I've been through it all. I'll admit I raged in '06. Those who know me I threw A FIT. Probably wrote the worst Cass Toon because of it (though I still enjoy the "Doctor" joke in it and the other one with the Master taking over DC Comics). But I realized something with age. You have a favorite character? Just keep fighting with instead on WHY you love this character. WHY this character means the world to you. Do it via what you can. Find your method. But never give into the heat. Never target the creatives behind it. Because sometimes its not by their choice they do these things. Even the editorial who might or might not. I'm just tired of being angry. I just want to read a story where a creative team gets this character at the very least.

Why at my older age. I'm chilling and enjoying every second of this. IT IS A GIFT TO ME. A GIFT I'm cherishing every month since 2020. I'll keep doing this till either I just can't or just real life does something. But I just hope I did my job. Just showing WHY I loved this character Cassandra Cain, and just forever grateful we've gotten this period.

From so many glorious Detective Comic runs that had her. DCeased franchise. Dark Knights of Steel. DC Festival of Heroes: The Asian Superhero Celebration #1. Batman: One Bad Day- Two-Face. Batman: Urban Legends. Batgirls (every issue even THE BAD TWO) I bought all covers save FOUR variant covers. I ADORED the gift that was #14 too. Spirit World. Birds of Prey.

I'm just gonna keep enjoying the ride and if there's an end. At the very least a much better one than ANYTHING from 2006-2011 or the choices from 2016-2020.

BIG shoutout to Cass fans who endured her evil era, her New 52 erasure, and countless other editorial mandates - like you guys really pulled through for her so that newer fans (like me!) can enjoy her in all her glory. Seriously big thank you to older Cass fans <3333.

[imthebadguyyy]

maybe something like interviewer asking her sexist questions and the boys stand up for her , after that interview she feels insecure and the boys comfort her . that's just an idea you don't have to write it !! <33

I hope you like it, and I'm so sorry about the delay 😭 I couldn't find my footing with this one, and I hope it's what you wanted ! Have a lovely day 💙

The One Where They're There For Her

Pairing - One Direction x Reader (6thmember!female!reader)

Fandom - One Direction (Directioners)

Summary - A particularly sexist interview decides to reduce you to just a sexual being and makes no effort to hide his misogyny. But the boys are there to support you.

Warnings - sexualization of the lgbt community, sexist comments, swearing, (honestly I hated myself for writing some of the comments here,and I'm so sorry)

Being a part of the biggest band in the world comes with certain responsibilities. Not responsibilities that come along with signing a recording contract, but those that a person deems themselves responsible for. For example, as the only female in a boyband, a female with a fanbase as large as yours, you took it upon yourself to always stand up for what's right, and to be an ally for the causes close to your heart.

That meant that your social media was often flooded with information about important causes, or your opinions on issues like feminism. Was it always well received? Heck no. There were people filled your feed with hate and comments calling you the most horrible names and labelling you a 'man hater' and a 'bitch' But you didn't let it get to you. On most days. On days like today, it was all you could do to keep it together. It had been a tiring few days, touring, recording, performing and doing an endless amount of interviews and photoshoots. It was safe to say you were on the last of your nerves, having battled your way through a makeup artist who had insisted on pointing out your flaws and had used a shit ton of makeup to cover them up. You had battled a photographer who had not hesitated to tell you that if you didn't look more feminine people would think you were turning into a man.

Before you could retaliate, Paul had dragged him away and told management to cancel the photoshoot, and find another photographer before grabbing the six of you some sandwiches and had let you all go back for a quick power nap at the hotel. Then in about half an hour he had woken you up, to get you ready for another interview. That's how you were here, in a white jumpsuit and a black blazer jacket, paired with black heels. Another day, another interviewer that got on your nerves. But this one, this one was different. This interviewer was different, but also the same. Another misogynistic man who thought he was entitled to stare at your ass and cleavage, and eye fuck you as you settled into a seat in between Niall and Zayn.

Settling in, you crossed one knee over the other, plastering a fake smile onto your face, as the man leaned back in his chair, throwing you a sleazy smirk. Noticing the look, Zayn shifted so you were out of view of the interviewer, but in view of the audience. It was in moments like this that you were a 100× more grateful to have your boys. They were well aware of how sleazy some interviewers could be, having had plenty of experience with them, and Zayn and Louis in particular were very protective about the way you were treated. Squeezing your thigh softly, he leaned back a little, lips settling into a thin line as he looked at the interviewer with a cold look. A little behind, Louis threw the interviewer a dirty look.

"So, One Direction! Congratulations on the album, as you all know its out on November the 22nd, with eighteen new songs, including the singles Night Changes and Steal My Girl Speaking of stealing girls, do you think I could steal your number Y/N? And may I mention, you look ver, very hot in that outfit" The interviewer joked, throwing you what he thought was a sexy smirk. (P.S - it wasn't) Answering with an awkward laugh, you shook your head, as Niall tensed up beside you. "Aww come on, your'e a pretty girl, I'm a handsome guy, let's go out sometime" he pressed on, ignoring the growing anger in Harry's eyes. "That's umm, nice. But no thanks, I'm not going to go out with you" was your answer, as you pushed a strand of hair behind your ear. Picking up on your nervous tic, Zayn moved his hand to rest on your knee, stopping it from bouncing up and down.

"Aww come on baby, what is it? You like girls or something? Because I wouldn't mind being a part of that action either" the sleazebag chuckled, ignoring the disgusted look Liam sent his way. "That's rude" Liam said, while Zayn tightened his grip on your knee. "Oh come on lads, are you telling me the idea doesn't appeal to you? Two women together, mm, makes me all excited just thinking about it, especially if one of them's Y/N" That comment was all it took for Louis to stand up, turning to the man and saying in a voice much rougher than his usual voice, "Alright, that's fuckin' enough, what the fuck is actually wrong with you?" he was backed up by Liam, who stood up, going to tower over the interviewer, whose eyes had lost some of the sleazy look in them. "All you've done since we walked in here is make those disgusting comments about Y/N, and it's sickening. Have some fucking respect" he practically spat.

Behind him, Zayn took your hand in his and pulled you to your feet, noticing the slight glossiness in them, leading you back to the dressing rooms, while Niall, Liam, Louis and Harry stayed back to continue to snap at the interviewer. "That is no way to treat a woman, and not only are you disrespecting her, you also made those god awful events about seeing women together. Your'e a shame to every single person in this room by talking like that" Harry continued, glancing over his shoulder to check if you were okay.

"And no, it doesn't excite us, because we are not assholes, and you are, a disgusting sleaze who does not deserve the job he has. Fuckin loser" Niall chimed in, standing up and storming out. Louis stood up as well, turning to directly face the cameras and the cameramen and sound technicians, who had all looked shocked when the man had made his comments towards you. "I sure as hell hope you have that on record, so you can see just how fucking sexist this industry is to women. Y/N does the same job as us, works just as hard and has the same number of awards, nominations, and records and yet you decide to only focus on her body, clothes, love life and sexuality. Get a fucking life" he spat at the camera, before walking away himself, eventually followed by Harry and Liam, who apologized to the outraged fans before leaving themselves. As they made their way to the dressing rooms they could hear the audience telling the interviewer to apologize to you, their anger at the way you were treated echoing through the building.

Walking in, Harry caught sigh of you curled up in one of the armchairs, with Louis sitting beside you, while Niall and Zayn talked to a furious Paul. "He had no damn right to treat her like shite, and you need to make sure that he knows those comments were un-fuckin-acceptable" Niall was saying, looking angrier than Harry had ever seen him. "And to make those sickening comments about wanting to get action? Can't we sue him for something?" Was Zayn's reply, glancing over his shoulder at you to make sure you were still okay. "We can't sue him, atleast I don't think we can, but I'll have someone let the smug bastard know that he needs to learn how to respect a woman" Paul said, before leaving the room to give the six of you some time together before you had to head back to the hotel.

"How're you feeling darling?" Louis said, moving over and patting your knee so you moved. "I'm okay" you mumbled back, letting Louis settle in next to you, leaning back to rest on his chest. "He had no fuckin right to say any of that, and don't you let it trouble you for a second" Zayn added, pouring out a cup of tea for you and for Louis and Harry. "I don't care about what he said, I couldn't care less, but it was just so frustrating, sitting there and listening to him just sexualize a whole community of people. You've got to be in a really sad place to think of shit like that. That's what annoyed me. You think I give a damn about what he said about my clothes or wanting to take me out on a date? It was the way he was talking, like he was sure any woman would be glad to have him that irked me. He's really tiresome" was your reply, as you reached forward for a sip of your tea. "That's the right attitude love. Haters gonna hate" Harry said.

"I know that. But I just wish I could punch him once, which sounds mean, but he does kind of deserve it" Niall said, earning a laugh from you. Niall was never usually aggressive, and even now, he wasn't particularly rude but it was rare to see him wanting to punch someone. "It's okay Niall, you don't have to. I can do it myself, but I won't" you replied, leaning up to squeeze his hand. "Besides, Ni, if you went and punched him, I'd do it too, and then we'd all go to jail" Liam chimed in, scrolling through his twitter. "Twitter isn't happy either babe. #stopsexualization and #Y/Ndeservesbetter is trending already" he added, showing you his phone. "If it means some of these sexist asses get their heads out of the sand, I'm happy. But I dont want to to think about it now" you replied, cuddling closer to the warmth radiating from Louis's body.

"Okay, we won't talk about it. Do you want to go back to the hotel?" Harry asked, standing up and walking to the door "No I want to go to Nando's. Anybody else hungry?" You asked, to nods of assent from the boys. "I'm starving. Those stupid sandwiches didn't fill me up at all" Zayn said, standing up to grab his coat and wallet. "I know and I'm craving some hot Peri Peri chicken with some fries. Do you think they'd let me put the lemon and herb sauce on the fries?" You asked, standing up yourself, earning a laugh from Louis. "Your'e an international superstar babe, I think they'd give you some lemon herb sauce" Liam joked.

Laughing, the six of you made your way to the car, with Harry and Niall squishing you in between them, as Louis sat in the back with Liam, and Zayn sat in the front with Paul (he was driving thank GOD) "I'm proud of you darling" Harry chimed in suddenly. "I am too" Niall added. "You know I am" Louis said, before Liam added "Always babe" and Zayn turned to smile at you before adding, "We are all proud of you, and we always will be, not only because you do a damn good job of not listening to the haters, but because you do what you think is right" "Awh come on, your'e gonna make me cry" you mumbled, leaning into Niall's shoulder. "Almost makes me feel bad for teasing you about having an extremely low spice tolerance the last time we were at Nando's Haz" you smirked, earning a roar of laughter from the boys.

"That chicken was spicy love!" "It was lemon and herb with no peri peri!" "And it was spicy!"

And just like that, you were back to messing around with each other. Sleazy interviewers would come and go, but your boys were always there to support you. Always.

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A/N - Thanks for reading ! I'd also like to apologize on the behalf of this fictitious interviewer I made up, I felt so bad while writing some of this 😭 anyways, I hope this is what you wanted! Enjoy !

Tags - @zaynkissbot @gucci-hazza @bxtchboy69