#james and sirius are idiots

[my-castles-crumbling]

Sirius and James would absolutely go hard about conspiracy theories (lizard people, fake moon landing) not because they believe them, but because it would drive Remus and Regulus insane.

[y0url0verb0y]

Regulus: James...where's Harry?!

James: ...

Sirius: ...

Regulus: JAMES!?

Sirius *whispering:* play dumb

James: Who's James?

Sirius *whisper yelling*: not that dumb!

James: if it makes you feel any better Sirius doesn't have Teddy either...

Regulus: Why would that make me feel any better?!?!

-meanwhile, Harry and Teddy jumping on the neighbor's trampoline while they're out of town-

[hufflepuffxmrdrs]

officer: what are your names?

James: don't tell him, Sirius

Officer: okay so you're Sirius

Sirius: wow good job, James

Officer: and this is James, great

[lee-isnotcool]

Another fic review...

Fic: Just lovers (like we were supposed to be) https://archiveofourown.org/works/38344720

Author: bizzarestars

Length: 320k words (mid-length fic)

Ships: jegulus, wolfstar

Summary: jegulus 'fake' dating in a no-voldy AU (they are in love)

Review: im sure all yall have read this by now but i just loved this fic so i wanted to rant. URRRRGH JAMES FLEAMONT POTTER I LOVE YOU TO PIECES BUT YOU ARE SO STUPID SOMETIMES- seriously he's so oblivious it kills me. reg is a little shit obviously, and sirius is almost as oblivious to remus's feelings as james is to reg's. they're my pookies. anyway, this is a classic (for good reason) and should 100% be read. go read if u havent i know i waited too long

[mrstellmeafuckingsecret]

'james and sirius are idiots' is a tag. i am now a convicted felon. do you see the problem here.

[inmy70schaos]

James and Sirius simultaneously

[rudamaruda520]

Remus: How on earth you don't notice the "subtle" hints that James are giving you?

Regulus and Remus: *turning their heads towards James*

James: *standing in a t-shirt with "I have the biggest crush on you Regulus" on it*

Regulus: Oh, I don't know... how am I doing that? *moves his head literally one centimetre to the left*

Sirius: *standing in a t-shirt with "Remus, please fuck me" on it, right next to James*

[outromoony]

Regulus seeing people do something idiotic: oh god what fucking idiots

Regulus after realising it's James and Sirius: oh no those are my idiots

[ultravioletbrit]

“bare” - Jegulus microfic - @into-the-jeggyverse - 308 words

 

“Potter!” Regulus calls him from down the hall.

“Hey love!” James greets him.

“Don’t you ‘hey love’ me. Why haven’t you said anything?” Regulus demands firmly.

“About what?” James asks.

“About the stupid letter.” Regulus practically growls.

“What letter?” James tries, but Regulus continues as if he didn’t even hear him.

“I can’t say my stupid feelings out loud, so I had the stupid idea to put them in a stupid letter and bare my fucking soul to you and put it on your pillow like a stupid romantic or something and now I just feel like a stupid idiot because we’ve been together multiple times today and you haven’t said a God damn thing about—" Regulus is saying, all in one breath and James has to cut him off.

“Woah! Ok, first, please breathe. Second, you’re not stupid or an idiot but you have to slow down and tell me what you’re talking about because I didn’t get—"

“REGULUS ARCTURUS BLACK! You better start explaining right now!” Sirius is yelling. He and Remus showed up out of nowhere and Sirius looks pissed. Remus just looks kind of uncomfortable and nervous about something.

“Hey Reg…” Remus starts awkwardly and pulls something out of his pocket. “So, I think maybe you and I should talk about—"

“That’s not for you!” Regulus snaps at him, grabbing a letter out of his hands.

“Oh, thank God.” Remus lets his shoulders drop and breathes a sigh of relief. “Not that you’re—"

“Shut up, Lupin.” Regulus cuts Remus off. “Here.” He says bluntly, slamming the letter into James’ chest and walking away.

“Reg!” James calls after him.

“Just read the stupid letter, Potter.” Regulus grumbles and continues walking away.  

“He put it on the wrong pillow?” Remus asks.

“I think he put it on the wrong pillow.” James nods with a smile while clutching his letter.

“Stupid idiot.” Sirius mumbles.

[pearlynia]

Sirius Black would wear a shirt that says "best dogfather ever" at Harry's birthday because him and James thinks it's hilarious and would laugh their ass off.

[sparsilees]

it’s almost the end of 2024. can we drop this absolutely inane fanonical idea that harry james potter is “oblivious” or “unobservant” or “average”?

fuck your fanon harry. fuck that soggy tissue who doesn’t inspire confidence in others. fuck that lummox who cannot string a sentence together. fuck that hothead who’d lash out in anger and throw punches at every provocation. fuck that namby-pamby who can’t read clues or between the lines or come up with a plan of action. fuck that sheep who can’t function without hermione’s direction. fuck that neanderthal who’s a messy eater, messy writer, messy speaker, and has poor manners.

who the bloody hell is that? that’s not harry james potter. why are you twisting and malforming him into a bloody clown?

why are you undermining the main character of his own series? boy has an abysmal self-esteem, stays quiet and lowkey, bottles up his truest feelings and thoughts (that we as readers are privy to, but not the other characters!), and has a calm and composed mien so you think you too can dismiss his character easily and strip him down to a skeleton of his canon self and instead carve out huge character growth, redemption arcs, and love letters for everyone else?

you wish to evoke sympathy for draco by making lucius out to be an abusive father and crafting a pitiful childhood for draco when they have an affectionate parent-child relationship canonically, but downplay harry’s abuse? you realise that tom riddle, sirius black, james potter, and hermione granger are acknowledged to be the brightest of their generation, yet forget harry potter and tom riddle are two sides of the same coin, even sharing a similar appearance, and reduce harry to a silly caricature? you make harry magically powerful but wrest his smarts away to highlight someone else’s big brain?

you make him out to be a short dork with a shorter fuse and no idea what’s going on around him when harry and tom are both described as woe-ridden orphans—with all that entails from constant hunger to cold sleepless nights to hypervigilance to the forced, quick maturity—but treat tom true to canon as tall, cunning, and clever, then do an about-face to conveniently slap the malnourished, oblivious, and slacker labels on harry to make him as lesser than?

when he picked up the impervious spell simply from having seen hermione perform it once, when his closest friends have difficulty gleaning his thoughts, when his anger is cold and sharp like dumbledore (ootp was a study in ptsd, next!), when he’s just as tall as his father, was just as ill-treated as a house elf, and rightfully brilliant as the son of lily and james potter—the two powerful and talented individuals who once had voldemort trying to recruit them to join his cause?

the sheer disrespect on his name. the sheer mockery of his character. the absolutely mind-boggling erasure of his most defining traits.

who do you think sussed out most of the big clues, and stowed away all the little, random bits of information in his memory bank, to ultimately piece the puzzle together at the final showdown every end of the school year? who realised as a mere firstie that quirrel was the man hagrid blabbed to about fluffy and the dragon egg? who noted that ginny was withdrawn and unlike herself? who had an inkling fleur had taken a fancy to bill? who picked up on what was brewing between ron and hermione before their own selves? who noticed that hermione cast a confundus on cormac mclaggen during the match? who caught on instantly to the change in tense used for the diadem’s existence and confidently tracked it down? who cottoned on to luna’s longtime disappearance from her cold, untouched bed and the layer of dust? who did voldemort consider his equal? who actually has an uncanny sense of intuition? who calls the shots when the trio gets into a pickle? who?

mcgonagall? flitwick? draco? hermione? blaise zabini? no!

excuse harry for that one time he did not look deeply into the mental workings of a grieving girl because he’s not equipped to deal with them, and has in the first place never been taught to process his own emotions properly because he didn’t grow up in a healthy environment, prohibited from expressing his feelings, let alone vulnerability, and voicing his thoughts!

let’s bury this annoyingly stupid narrative for good. go read the books and refresh your perspective. stop doing him dirty. you’ve already butchered sirius black’s character into a pathetic sisspot. and now you want to assassinate harry’s too.

[my-castles-crumbling]

The Marauders, high asf, reminiscing on embarrassing moments:

James: Padfoot, remember that time you almost blew up your cauldron because you were staring at Moony's arse?

Sirius: Hahaha yeah, good times.

Remus: Hahaha, yeah.

James:

Sirius:

Remus:

Peter:

Remus: Wait, what?

[silverameco]

Remus is the most pragmatic and sensible out of the marauders, except when Sirius bats his eyelashes at him saying whatever he'd be like "yes😍sure😍whatever you say😍"

his mind is like no thoughts just pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty

Sirius is well aware and regularly says confidentely that he can get Remus to do anything.

James and Peter want to hit their heads on the nearest surface at least 5 times a day, they're like "there is no way they don't know they're in love"

and yet.

[curiouslymyown]

I think it’s funny how the marauders came up with these code names so if anyone found their map they wouldn’t know who made it, and yet they call eachother the code names on a daily basis

Like I know they’re really smart and all, but in that sense, they’re all idiots

[gabihime-jegulusseeker]

jegulus incorrect quote: James had a quidditch accident

Madam Pomfrey: I'm sorry, sir. We can only allow family to see Mr. Potter at this time-

Regulus: Bold of you to assume I won't marry him on the spot.

James, still very drugged: You tell 'em, honey.

[your-neighbourhood-antisocial]

Sirius : uhm... Prongs, I'm gay

James : oh, I know you're dating moony since past 2 years after all

Remus : what!! I thought you and pads were a thing!

Peter : I thought all three of you were together!

Lily : wait, so y'all aren't dating each other?

Regulus : you and James aren't dating?

Barty and Evan : so you're telling us the marauders and lily aren't in a relationship?

Sirius : *groans* this is all messed up....... Wait how tf did you guys enter the Gryffindor common room?