#j'onn martian manhunter j'onzz

[lovesick-joey]

happy holidays!!

[jesterraconteuse]

Hal Jordan finding out about Nightwing: YOU. You have a *kid*?

Batman: well... Technically he's my oldest and age of majority... But he's still my kid.

Hal Jordan: OLDEST? YOU HAVE MORE? 2? 3?

Batman visibly annoyed:... 6... Legally.

Hal Jordan: I'm going home. This has single handedly killed my willpower for a week, I need to process this.

Later....

Superman: Ah so you finally found out. I'm proud of him honestly, good to see he's willing to bond with others again.

Hal Jordan: You knew?

Superman: ...His kids basically call me Uncle Supes. I've babysat. I was around when he still just had Nightwing

WW: They're so cute! Children of such strength and bravery. Not to mention his dog, his cat, his cow... His son has animals even I've never seen before!

Hal Jordan: I've had enough.

And Hal hasn't even learned about his crime fighting cousin, batwing, Oracle, bluebird, Spoiler, and of course Jarro.

Note: everyone knows Supes is a father, he's the dad to talk your ear off about it but he's too nice with too much country charm for anyone to say anything about it. WW and Martian Manhunter are the only ones who listen absolutely intently.

[jesncin]

Detective John Jones tries Bantu Knots! He feels very pretty in them.

[toonerdformyself]

I have been reading a lot of headcanons of the justice league, my favorites are when batman reveals his identity but only to....Green arrow

It's so fun because imagine if for any reason Batman is forced to reveal his identity and everyone thinks he will choose Superman or/and Wonderwoman (because you know THE trinity, the dream team) BUT NO, he chooses green arrow

at this point the justice league already put aside whatever they were doing and start questioning batman, that is to say without hate towards Ollie but he is not the most secretive, nor the most competent, I mean HE IS NOT EVEN THE CLOSEST TO BATMAN, so yes, even Oliver is wondering why him?

and then without anything else Batman does or says some kind of code, at that moment everyone thinks that he must have already lost his mind when they hear the BIGGEST gasp from none other than Green Arrow, now he is running to hug Batman jumping and holding on like a koala while screaming

"WHY YOU NEVER SAID IT BEFORE SILLY"

"so you understand?"

"OF COURSE I UNDERSTAND IT'S OUR SUPER SECRET SUPER BEST FRIENDS CODE"

That's when J'onn leaves the room because he's not going to deal with the nonsense that these supposed heroes are thinking, the earth is doomed with these fools

Flash is screaming terrified that someone replaced Batman and brainwashed Ollie

Aquaman and Captain Marvel are pretending to know whatever is going on because they totally didn't sleep for half of the meeting

Black Canary's eyes are so wide and she looks like she had an epiphany from something Ollie said

Green Lantern still doesn't get over the fact that Batman is revealing his identity? (of course in such a weird way that only one of them understands, fuck him) but at the end of the day revealing his identity?

Wonder Woman and Superman are having a crisis and they are GREEN with envy, because not only did Batman reveal his identity to Green Arrow of all people, but he is also HUGGING him (also, they are the Bat's best friends, thank you very much)

Then Oliver, oblivious to everything, finishes by saying

"Wait, this means I kissed THE KNIGHT OF GOTHAM, THE BATMAN?, wow B you are killing me"

everyone explodes

totally based on this amazing post

[yzur02]

Hal: what's that?

Bruce: *intense glaring on J'onn*

J'onn: *vibing*

Barry: who knows? *drinks smoothie*

Meanwhile Bruce and J'onn telepathically:

Bruce: I'm sending good vibes in your direction *bat-glare* do not resist

J'onn: this is terrifyingly nice of you, thank you, Batman

...

Dick: there are good things coming your way, you can't escape, they are going to get you

M'gann: that's ominously sweet of you, thanks

[violent138]

If I was J'onn, I'd check out during League meetings to daydream and doodle and periodically check into Batman's head where he's keeping a running transcript of major decisions along with annotations like "tell Clark to stop doing that thing with hair, extremely distracting", "God Barry, say what you want or stop opening your mouth repeatedly", and "For fuck's sake Hal do not get Oliver started on fourth wave feminism", followed by more transcriptions and a mental to do list that's so off puttingly impossible but also includes tasks like: "buy new crockpot to apologize to Alfred. Pride goeth before the food poisoning."

[itnotddtillisayitdead]

They don't think he's Kryptonian, or a Meta.

When Phantom makes an appearance everyone comes to the same conclusion.

He can fly, turn intangible and invisible, he knows things he shouldn't be able to know. All that and plus the frequent stargazing?

Everyone assumes Phantom is a Martian.

[dio-niisio]

I love the idea that Batman has a Dad Instinct™. Like he just knows when one of his kids is in trouble! Whatever it is, it can be because of a villain or because they are causing mischief he just knows!

It can obviously be infuriating for the batkids, like he's in the middle of an important meeting with the Justice League and suddenly he just stops talking and goes in his personal comms and starts to bicker with Nightwing saying "No, you can't go bust that cartel alone. I don't care that you and Jason are fighting you are going to take him with you-" and you can hear a distinct "But daaaad!!" from Nightwing.

Or he just says "Don't you dare." when one of his kids is in the Watchtower with him and starts looking at Flash with mischievous eyes.

Or even better he starts to treat some of League members just like he treats his kids! Like "Don't touch that." when Green Lenten takes a step too close to one of the buttons near the windows (he was going to open the windows when the sun is directly hitting on said windows, probably temporarily blinding some people). Or "57 boxes of Oreos is too much even for you, my friend." when Martian Manhunter looks at the kitchen again (he eats too much of the stuff and is starting to become a problem).

Or when he looks at our baby Billy Batson and he has a feeling that he needs to take care of him but that's Marvel! And he's clearly a grown man! Right? (It doesn't help that he just can't find anything on him)

He cares too much for his on good

[grxxnlanterns]

you know that one comic

(og @ rob_jpeg on twitter)

[josephsaturn]

What I imagine the Justice league was like before they revealed their identities to each other

[dc-comics-enjoyer]

Random things I like to hc (part 1)

- Constantine calling Batman "love" anytime.

"Good plan, love. Now, if I may add..."

- Diana constantly fighting the urge to add multiple times in the footnotes of her research papers : "*I know that because I was there."

- Clark feeling some type of way whenever anyone from the Batfam calls him Uncle Clark (he does tear up a little the first few times).

- Anytime Booster would get cancelled for a tweet, he'd go back in time just far enough to prevent from tweeting it. He did that way too many times.

- Barry and Hal being that one best friend duo that are big on PDA. Most of the time during JL meetings, Hal's leg would be intertwined with Barry's.

- Given that the way they usually interact correlates with what he learned about married couples, J'onn assumed for the longest time that Bruce and Clark were spouses.

- Much like how Clark switches off his kansan accent when he's being Superman, Bruce switches off his "posh" accent when he's being Batman.

- Everytime someone mentions (any) Robin, Hal's mind still can't fathom that Batman's sidekick is a literal child.

- Dick is a bisexual flirt in and out of costume.

- Regular occurence : Batman enters the meeting room, sees Booster's stupid expression that's a clear sign he's going to share very stupid ideas, and Batman exits the room without a word. He doesn't come back for the rest of the meeting. After it happened more than once, some of the members get the clue and walk out as well.

- Superman can recite entire movies by heart. Not surprising in and of itself, but surprising that Bruce silently lets him do it over his shoulder when he's working in the batcave. Lets Clark unwind and gives Bruce background noise.

- After multiple complaints, Batman had to soundproof Dinah and Oliver's room in the watchtower.

---------

(Part 2 here )

(Good dad Bruce hc here)

[soranatus]

MARTIAN MANHUNTER  By Dan Mora, in Justice League Unlimited (2024) #4

[axstoria]

Bruce Wayne being the crush of nearly all the Justice League members...

Clark is regularly seen more happy than usual in Batman's presence, offering the stoic man an absurd amount of help for no reason, even if he is pushed away by the Bat. He's always keeping tabs on the man's heartbeat to make sure he's safe and healthy because he can't bear to even think that his best friend could be sick or dying somewhere.

Hal is snarky and throws more comments around, yet everyone can see the way his gaze appreciates Batman's wide chest. He'll blame it on thinking his logo changed if anyone asks. And, sure, he'll throw little flirty jabs at Batman, but everyone else does, too, so it's okay, right? ...right...?

Diana is... normal. Nobody really notices the way her gaze lingers on Bruce's body for a moment more than everyone else's after a long mission, checking to see if anybody is severely injured. Maybe it's just because he's human, so she wants to make sure her teammate is safe.

Barry grows increasingly red (nearly the same shade as his suit) whenever Bruce is near him. He doesn't understand why—he has a wife, after all—but maybe it's just the tall, dark, and handsome cliché getting to him. Maybe the Bat is just an awakening of a part of him he didn't know he had.

Oliver torments Bruce as a civilian and in uniform. He's one of the few who can interact with the Bat in any situation, and he uses it to his advantage. He openly flirts at galas (Bruce is forced to return the sentiment to keep up his Brucie persona) and during missions, and nobody outside of the JL can put together the dots that these two particular men are weirdly romantic with one another.

Then, there's poor, poor J'onn who has to listen to all their ridiculous thoughts like he's being strapped to a chair and forced to watch the most dramatic soap opera that has ever been created. (He does not miss Bruce's little proud comments to himself after each weird interaction.)

[aaa-a-a-a]

[celestialgalaxyglow]

Batfam and Danny, Part 9

At the Justice League Watchtower.

Diana: Good morning everyone and thank you for coming to this pronto meeting. I known we all have busy schedules so I'll make this quick. Bruce, Clark, and I have been investigating an operation by Lex Luthor. He has been moving round large amounts of radioactive material to a secret lab in the Sahara Desert, we currently do not know what he is planning but last night the radioactivity around the base spiked. We believe that there was some leak of the radioactive materials and we need a plan to contain it.

J'ohn: Are there any civilians in the region?

Clark: No, the lab is far out into the desert. The closest town is a small village with a population of about 1000 people an hour and a half away.

Hal: I could but up a temporary shield around the lab and try to contain the radiation as much as possible.

Bruce: That would be a good start.

Arthur: This is concerning, how can I help?

Diana: There is another shipment currently on a Lexcorp boat heading towards a port in Algiers we need you to stop it.

Bruce: Oliver, you will help Arthur take control of the ship.

Oliver: Got it.

Diana: Barry, while we believe the town and its residents will be safe, we'd like to keep you on stand by just in case.

Barry: Yes ma'am!

Diana: That's all from us. Now that we are together we should start making a solid plan, we start this operation 10pm, local time in Algeria. That gives us 8 hours to prepare. Any questions?

Oliver: Just one question, who's Bruce's new kid?

Everyone turned to look at Danny.

Danny: Hi!

Bruce: This is Danny, alias Phantom, he's Jason's kid... and my grandson.

Barry (laughing): Congratulations Bruce, you're a thirty-four-year-old grandfather.

Arthur: Is he helping us with the operation?

Diana: Yes, Danny is half-ghost and immune to radiation, he'll be helpful if the radiation levels are higher than we expect.

J'onn: You have a quite mind young one.

Danny: If I let you read my thoughts there's a fifty-fifty chance your brain may get scrambled.

J'onn: I see...

Billy: I'm here! Sorry I'm late, just had to finish something before I could leave- Billy looked around the room till he saw Danny. He jumped back and covered his ears.

Clark: You ok there Billy?

Billy: Who is that kid?

Danny: I'm Bruce's grandson.

Billy: ...

Clark: Why?

J'ohn: The gods in Billy's mind all just screamed bloody murder and told him that under no circumstances, should he make Danny mad.

Everyone looked at Danny but before anyone could ask question Constantine walked in.

Constantine: You known if you're going to call a random meeting at least give us more than 3 hours to get ready- Constantine froze when he saw Danny. Shit...

Danny (grinning): Constantine!

Bruce: You two know each other?

Danny: Yes, he's the fool that sold his sold his soul to a hundred separate demons who are all now petition me to decide who actually owns his soul.

Constantine: ...

Hal: Why would they petition you?

Danny: I'm their king.

JL: What!?

Danny: And another thing Constantine, come over here. A green light encircled Constantine throwing him across the room, placing down in a chair next to Danny. You didn't pay your taxes for the last tax season.

Constantine: I- your majesty, I'm not a citizen of the Infinite Realms.

Danny: Actually you are! Danny summoned a scroll. According to section 8, subsection 45, clause B of the Infinite Realms Citizenship and Nationality Status Governing Deaths, Resurrections, and All Other Avoidances of Death Act, also known as the IRCNSGDRAOADA, due to your soul being more than 80% owned by citizens of the Infinite Realms, you too are a citizen of the Infinite Realms, and thus have to pay taxes.

Constantine: I-

Danny: You owe the Crown, aka me, $25,000.

Constantine (nervous): Would your majesty be so kind as to wave my taxes for this year, given I did not know I had to pay?

Danny: I'll give you... 120 days to come up with the money, if not I'll send the tax collectors after you.

Constantine (terrified): You- you're too kind your majesty. Constantine picked up a folder from the table. I'll just read the report... I- got to go. Constantine left the room.

Bruce (tired): Danny...

Danny: I was joking, I'll wave the his missing taxes.

Hal: Why is he so scared of tax collectors?

Danny: The tax collectors in the Infinite Realms are not just nerds with suitcases, they are nerds with suitcases that also carry paintball guns.

J'onn: Paintball guns?

Danny: The paint will never come off till you pay your taxes.

Berry: That sounds so fun!

Arthur: I'm happy to have another king on the team. Finally I have some to talk to about the duties of ruling.

Danny: Tell me about it, for some reason, people can't just do as their told.

Arthur (crying): You understand me my pain.

Clark: Where does your family find these children?

Bruce: We don't find them, they find us!

Diana: As fun as this whole conversation is we do need to prepare for the mission. Let's get to work.

JL: Yes ma'am!

(Master Post)

[sisaloofafump]

The chaos in this bodyswap...

Aquaman controlling Wonder Woman's body. Batman in Superman's. J'onn in Aquaman's. Steel/John Henry in Green Lantern/Kyle Rayner's.

Batman was actually very interesting in Superman's skin:

Body swaps with them are always just so fun.

This is JLA: Foreign Bodies, a oneshot from 1999