#ive. lived with it up to this point. i can continue to live with it. as yes. this is just the rest of my life.
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played dragon age 2...just simple scribbles
#dragon age tag#i doubt that will see much use again..but who knows. vvv rambling below#weird game..the characters dialogue stuff and ending were good tho :')#i've played some of the first game but it kept crashing. i knew already despite knowing nothing that this guy was going to be my type#it doesnt feel right making video game art any more bc games like this end up feeling really personal - an experience that happened to me#if i design the main character a bit and fall in love then..that happened to me..i can't make Fan Art of that..only ive been through that..#like i cant make fanart of my dear companions in bg3 despite it having been a huge part of my heart in the last year#almost 1000 hours of playtime in something i can barely talk about bc it means too much.... lol#tons of ideas and conversations and extra thoughts and scenes and emotions about all the incredible times i've been through in bg3#and the maelstrom just rotates around intensely in my own heart forever...but that's ok too...that is so precious to me#but fortunately i already knew people that have played this game and talked/drew abt it recently so it was saved from that for me#sharing scribbly fanart on my Blog is a way to capture the feeling just after experiencing something so it has good points#witch hat atelier escapes that by not being a GAME. games are so immersive. but my wha art & feelings are incredibly immersive too#which makes it difficult sometimes now. i live a complicated and emotional life <3 i am not suited to fandom <3#my character ended up looking so much like oru without me realising that's what i was doing. Kind bearded fireball throwing gay mage. Hmm.#falling for a sad white hair memory trauma fellow that keeps you at a tragic distance. Hmmmmmm.#i see also how very much bg3 is inspired by stuff like dragon age now lol so i'm glad i experienced it. I WANT MY KIRKWALL LIFE BACK...#so dated though as well and unpleasant at times (the city and the dismal atmosphere was depressing.) i hate violence/horror..#bg3 is SOOOO very dismal but it feels like I am killing people and going through horrors because i have to survive i have to be free#Well anyway. ahh it's so refreshing to fall in love. my gay journey continues...
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spent the first hour and change at work deleting some old files and am having a grand ol time laughing at myself for not realizing i was a lesbian sooner
#vulnerable tag rambles ahead please be kind abt them i didnt intent to ramble this much but i dont wanna delete it eitehr#me to every single man i have ever dated after 6mo-1y: yeah hey this really isnt working out i dont really know why but i really hate mysel#and i dont want to blame you because i dont think you did anything inherently wrong here; i think this is something about me but i need#space to figure out why im feeling this way [every single one reacted by telling me No i wasnt allowed to leave btw]#i hold very complex feelings about these relationships esp bc of them ending in very violent/chaotic ways most of the time#but its interesting to look back at it all and realize ive left every man for the same reason (which is that ive hated myself Every Single#Time ive dated a man) and its funny bc i recognized the self hate pretty early on w/ cishet men but when it came to queer men it was#much more confusing (esp w/ nto knowing Any lesbians at that point in my life). im so happy im a lesbian tbh#i have a lot of issues w/ the racism fatphobia and transmisogyny present in lesbian groups#and also coming out as a lesbian really truly saved my life. before i met my wife i was quite literally in a 3yr abusive relationship that#definitely would have died in if i hadnt realzied i was a lesbian and ran from him#its also weird seeing liek the hard evidence of the things that happened to me btween 2016-2020 tbh#cause that was such a bad time of my life. i truly dont know how i survived it but im so glad i did#like the three major relationships in my life b4 meeting my wife was: guy who was in college when i was in HS who stalked me when i left;#guy who was a year younger than me who cheated on me the entire time while telling me he was being victimized (he wasnt; this was very mess#guy who saw the very messy toxic ldr i was in and helped me dump my ex then decided that meant we were in a relationship [insert 3 yrs here#and admittedly all 3 years with him werent the same level of abusive but it was definitely unhealthy from the start considering I Didnt Kno#we were together until he wanted to celebrate vday and got mad i didnt know our anniversary - and like this isnt including the other stuff#that happened between those Relatonships[tm] (cause ive never been monogamous; these were just the Major Relationships)#like i genuinely think if i hadnt come out i'd be dead rn given just how dangerous my relationships were/continued getting#i am also so tired now that ive seen all this cause like. fuck i can barely believe it and i not only lived it but have PTSD about it#i should write about my life sometime. i feel like it'd be cathartic to try and make a tangible timeline and stories from the years ang stu#anyway yeah. be nice about the tag rambles. dont message me with pity or curiosity or anything about this. i dont usually talk abt this stu#publicly bc i hate the ways ppl start tryign to baby me when they realize my life has been extremely fucked up until only a few years ago#n im still working on accepting kindness from others bc of [insert life traumas here] but its a long process so pls respect my need for jus#being heard rn w/o too much pressure< 3 (but ig if u do read this can u like it cause i feel a little crazy seeing all the evidence of the#stuff i experienced now also cause fuck ik logically it was but also i cant believe it was all real still yk)
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pardon my french but hashtag girl
#arthub#oc; estelle#world; new law!#oc art#supervillain oc#back on my hero stuff#ive reworked A LOT of stuff esp for my main 4 (amp abyss wolfbite universe)#so at some point maybe i will explain. but for now heres estelle#she has teleportation and umbrakinesis but pretends to be a speedster because its funny#she mostly robs priceless objects and sells them off so she can continue living in her weird fucked up mansion
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can i be honest this shit's so bad it's got me posting in r/bpd to feel for five seconds like other people GET it and i don't have to explain myself
#new bpd symptom: the only people who understand what the hell i'm talking about are the people on that damn subreddit!#sorry i know i've been talking about this a lot lately but it really has been weighing on me VERYYYY heavily#because. on the one hand desire to have a label so that i don't feel like I'M the one who fucked up anymore. so i can know ok i couldn't#have changed this it's not my fault. but on the one hand terrible terrible terrible fear that this is something inherently fucked up in my#brain that simply won't have an easy fix. and that i will have to continue living with for much longer than i hoped.#anyway i'm not trying to armchair diagnose with pop psychology or anything i'm just. pretty certain at this point that. if labels mattered#at all. which they sometimes do to ME! then like. that label would be bpd.#& i have only become more certain while spending time in a community where everyone seems to get it like no one ever has#i don't know it's futile bcs i don't have a therapist and ive been ghosted by like 10 of them now so whatever. i have to do this mental#inquiry by MYSELF#whateverrrr. no more need to talk about this. u all saw the poem :/#hello world
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Whines bc im a few hours into my sleep and I'm not so nauseous now but my limbs...! My limbs, they ache...!!! And it's just all of them, the bone aches in all of them, so I feel like Peter Griffin Death Pose in this bed tonight
#speculation nation#sometimes the chronic pain decides Fuck You especially#i always have some measure of pain but sometimes it decides to flare in Multiple limbs. and it's never fun.#just laying here with pain radiating out of my limbs in a slow steady pulse#*why* dont i have a fibromyalgia disgnosis yet...? bc my fuckin liver readings were off & im waiting for a february GI appointment...?#would my Fucking liver make my limbs all hurt for no goddamn reason in their Bones?????#like i know my doctor is just trying to do her due diligence and if i have a liver problem that can explain the fatigue.#but idk man it's way more than just fatigue. and it's the fact that i have to wait until *february* before the GI appointment#that really gets to me.#if it was sooner id care less. like yeah lets cover our bases yeah. but i have to wait five Fucking months before i even have the Chance#to get a fibromyalgia disgnosis (and hopefully Treatment after)#and in the meantime my limbs will continue to Ache and Ache and Ache...#ive. lived with it up to this point. i can continue to live with it. as yes. this is just the rest of my life.#but god damn itd fucking be nice if i could get some Help for it ykno?#they cant rly change the chronic pain aside from pain relievers. which i dont wanna be too dependent on anyways#but just. idfk theres gotta be Something. some kind of treatment!!! massages?!? i dont know!!!!#i just know my limbs hurt and i have to wait At Least 5 months for a diagnosis (& even then it's not assured)#and it's just. so frustrating. i really hate our healthcare industry.#negative/
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guess whose therapist thinks she could benefit from inpatient treatment
#got really depressed and a bit suicidal during my session today#im not actively suicidal rn but i feel so hopeless and i just want to give up resulting in some suicidal thoughts#the thoughts of hurting myself are getting louder and more overwhelming#so im not at a point rn where i think i need inpatient but im worried about getting worse#im going to nyc this weekend and seeing 2 shows and some of my favorite broadway actors but i do not feel excited#i want to feel excited but i just dont. i should be excited. if this doesn't make me feel something#then i doubt anything will.#reminds me of late may/early june when i wasnt excited for my birthday or the taylor swift concert because i did not want to live anymore#im worried that this is a warning sign. i feel like ive made so much progress with treatment in the last 10 months#but i feel like i haven't made enough progress and i feel like ive hit a wall and there's no improvement to be made#because I've tried like everything. i feel so hopeless. ive been in treatment for almost a year.#even inpatient i doubt would help me. like ive been there and done that. i spent nearly 20 days in inpatient last summer#only benefit would be seeing my doctor sooner but that's assuming i could even get a bed in the 11 person unit she works inpatient at#what benefit would seeing my doctor even do? we've tried almost everything and im on the max dose of most my meds#idk what to do#i feel like im running out of options. the only depression treatments i havent tried are ketamine and ect#i guess my options are ketamine ect suicide or continuing feeling how i feel now but i dont know how much longer i can live like this
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lol
#i really. really need to talk to my therapist. have to wait 20ish more hours but i need to right now. i am so deeply depressed and keep#crying which is so fucking stupid how bad this is affecting me but im so deeply miserable. and i have to go hide when i need to cry bc my#family can’t know im trying to move out and work is the whole problem rn and there’s nothing anyone can do about it. i am utterly alone#purrs#delete later#what is getting me rn is… this is the path i picked. and i foolishly assumed it would be enough to live off of and it’s fucking not. and im#not going to like quit my job or anything but the despair and hopelessness i feel is so profound. i cancelled the apartment tours it’s not#even worth taking them and anyway the one place didn’t even call me back. actually no one has answered any of the calls ive put out for like#assistance getting on apartment sites and shit so. idk. i might as well just give up at this point. all the stuff i did in this past week#was for nothing basically. and meanwhile the horrors continue. im so so deeply sad and exhausted#the hr person didn’t even answer my call about getting double charged for my benefits LMAOOOOO. like fuck my entire life for real
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i feel like atsv was pandering to the marvel fans a little. itsv remains superior.
#like what was the reason for so many live action references#also in the beginning when gwen was having her Action Movie Opening Chase Scene the one liners were so... marvel core?#like hes behind me isnt he core. which was annoying for me lmfao and i dont remember itsv being like that#also i signed up for a miles film not a gwen film. not that im complaining but when SPOILERS uncle aaron appears and we meet prowler miles#i was like OMFG yes finally. and then. to be continued??#that was the biggest plot twist in the movie tbh. i didnt expect it at all tho i was like ive already been in this theatre for who knows how#long where are they gonna find the time to wrap it all up#and the time is another 2hr movie???#idk i think movies should be self contained#i think they did a bit too much#maybe they should have made a second miles film ABOUT MILES that was complete both in plot and themes closing out a great duology#and this could have been the third film??#like kathyrn han doc ock is still running around ny right.#idk i feel like this movie was very far from the spiderman core values abt saving the little guy#and you could argue that that was the point w miguel trying to stop miles from saving his dad and everything to do with the spider... team#or whatever theyre called idk#but it never really get back to that#bc its not its own movie lmao#in this movie things happened so they can be wrapped up in the third movie#it suffered massively from second in a trilogy syndrome#all that to say i think story wise i was a little disappointed#for a movie i waited 4 years to see#and after itsv i mean i obviously knew they wouldnt really be able to repeat what made it unique but still...#the animation was excellent though#the soundtrack was immaculate#and i think they did a rly good job making all the spiderppl unique and their worlds having different styles#but yeah#itsv
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i love your actimel fridge posting keep it up
:D thank you !!!! Its more full than usual right now because the other day i went shop and got some and today my brother went to get groceries and my mum told him to get me some actimel while he was there so for at least the next 2 weeks i should be good on actimel !!!!
#laetitia tag#avds.got.mail#whats worrying me a little thought is i have work tomorrow (i only work on sundays. during the weekday i do this taci passanger assistant#thing but i hate it sooo bad it makes me sooooo car sick so while one day a week was okay while i was in uni and lived at home and only rly#needed money to buy myself treats. its not working now that im free the entire week and want to get out of this house and also dont get#student finance moneg every 3 months)#anyway yeah i am looking for a weekday job now too. BACK to the point. on sundays when i buy lunch i buy a sandwich OR wedges / a pastry f#from greggs#2 packets of crisps and nomadic oat chocolate and honeycomb yoghurt#i eat the main and one crisp packet during my lunch and then keep the other packet and the yoghurt in my bag#(which is probablg a bad idea since yoghurt shouldnt be out of a fridge for longer than 2 hrs but ive been doing this for weeks and have#survived so idk) and when i get home un sundays i usually eat the other crisp packet and yoghurt in my room and go to sleep#(< tradition that started from the time i did an all nighter before work to write an essay due that day and told myself at work i can go#home and sleep and i liked it so much i continued the napping thing minus the all nighter)#BUT my driving instructor cancelled on me yesterday and offered to do tomorrow at 5pm instead to make up for it since he usuallg doesnt do#weekends. and i get off work st 4:20 and get home before 5pm usually. and i agreed since i havent had a lesson in a few weeks now#BUT that means i need to refridgerate mg yoghurt or else itll be out of the drige for THREE/FOUR hours#and right now theres no soace in my mini fridge bc of the actimel#so im a little worried about that#having my problems is really fun actually i cant wait for god to throw some real curveballs at me like a broken loghtbulb ir smth#edit: posted this and looked at how long the tags are... girl......
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not to be like waah waaaah im so upset about my life while i have a nice and good life in general compared to so many people here but. i still feel like the art piece "here's the life i've always longed for". i keep thinking about my father almost crying talking to me on the phone at the election night. he kept saying he doesnt want me to feel like this country's fate is my only choice, and my life will not be ruined by these terrible people. but it feels like that sometimes. a lot of times actually. and i mean im trying to do things to change it really. but also im not trying hard enough. i get mad at myself for that. then i am mad that i live in a reality where i have to try so fucking just to have a chance of living in a decent reality. and what if i cant do it... i have to try harder i really have to apply myself i dont want to be a disappointment and a regret for my future self. i hope she is in a safe and beautiful place, not here. anywhere but here. please.
#yeah i cried while typing this keep scrolling#the thing is sometimes i think im just exaggerating everything in my head like. what's the worst that can happen right#but the truth is#I'm really really scared for this country's future. i dont know how bad it can be but it is already not good and still going worse#so. i dont think we are reaching when we panic about our future everyday#I know this is because I'm likely severely mentally ill but i cant live with this some days#the normal thing is obviously just. continuing to live#but the fact is that all this shit we've been going thru in the last year (before too. but especially 2023)#have pushed me to the point i was having panic attacks everyday lmao so like. yeah i guess it is fair that i want to gtfo of here#so compared to how ive been im really better#but still i dont apply myself the way i should. and it feels so bad because so many ppl worse off than me are pushing for their survival#everyday while im like waaaah wah i cant focus oh how will i get out of this country oh poor me wah :( lmao#girllll just work on it just do the things u must do. okay this whole post got way out of focus im just#writing my messed up steam of consciousness at this point idk#but. i cant help but say it's hard it's so hard to live everyday for me it's so hard to breathe sometimes#and i know that's a *me* problem. if i was not like this i could do so much#I should be doing so much#to get the life i want for myself. but it's so hard. i hope i wont die unhappy and full of regret#neg#🗒#okay i dont even remember what i wrote here exactly but it's probably the saddest post I've done in a long time#dont know if anyone actually reads it it's so embarrassing when i think abt it 👍 i dont even know where this came from#it's not even a Bad day
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stop assuming i am an idiot i am no longer asking.
#i am not STUPID. DESPITE POPULAR OPINION I CONTINUE TO NOT BE STUPID#i dont have problems for no reason i am not stupid i have tried the basic solutions you people always propose when i complain#if you think so little of me so constantly and then get upset when i yell at you because I AM NOT A FUCKING IDIOT then literally die#vent tw#i am not stupid i am not stupid i am not stupid i am not stupid i am not stupid i am not stupid i am not stupid i am not stupid#if i had enough friends to stop talking to you at this point i straight up would#but unfortunately *everyone* thinks im stupid so i guess ive got no fucking choice!#and if i tell people to stop acting like im stupid they always go 'when did i say that' once again assuming im an idiot#I CAN TELL IF YOU THINK IM STUPID. I CAN TELL WHEN YOU THINK I DONT HAVE ENOUGH OF A BRAIN TO DO THINGS#i shouldve died last year i shouldntve told anyone and then id be nice and dead and not have to deal with this#but nooooo i was a stupid fucking coward and now i dont get access to painkillers anymore#i wish dad was the sort of bad parent with a gun because atleast i could blow my brains out#and people would treat him like a bad parent for having a gun in his house with his kid whos been suicidal since middle school#but no i continue to live and he continues to just be 'a good parent whos struggling'#i dont fucking care if hes struggling if im a bad stupid selfish person then hes a bad fucking parent#nobody cares if im struggling so why should i care if he is.#fuck everyone honestly i hope someone drops a bomb on my city in my sleep and none of us ever wake up
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robin - LECLERC
pairings charles leclerc x fem!singer!reader (fc: gigi hadid + pinterest)
summary fans get a look at charles’ family
warnings a baby + pregnancy (the baby is the entire plot point and one pregnancy mention) poorly translated french, some taylor swift songs are used as readers songs. HUGE TIMESKIPS (sorry lol)
notes we are BACK!! for the time being at least,, sorry for being gone again😣 also im using gigi again because i had this one specific photo in mind of her pregnant!!
notes 2 kind of short but i want to try and gain some more motivation buuuut in my absence from writing ive created a rec blog so i can show you all my favorite works by all the incredible writers on here! @81folklore-library
masterlist
yourusername • may 2020
liked by charles_leclerc, lewishamilton and 1,283,693 others
(im)patiently waiting to meet you tiger 🐯🩵
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charles_leclerc you are glowing mama🌟
yourusername charlie🥹
lewishamilton cant wait to meet the little one, you’re doing amazing yn!
yourusername thank you lewis💜
user44 you are gorgeous omg
user23 i can’t believe charles is going to be a dad soon
user2 it feels like its flown by
user17 i love that they call their baby tiger☹️
user6 me too!! i hope it sticks as a nickname
arthur_leclerc lunch again soon?
yourusername of course art! let me know when🤍
yourusername • january 2021
liked by charles_leclerc, lorenzotl and 3,930,519 others
our little tiger blessed our lives a few months ago and we couldnt feel more overjoyed to have her. we want to thank those around us for their continued support during our first months of parenthood
tiger, we cant wait you grow into a beautiful young girl and we are already so proud of you🐯🩵
tagged charles_leclerc
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charles_leclerc so happy i get to be a dad with you🩵
charles_leclerc i love you so much im so proud of you
yourusername i love you charlie, thank you for everything
lorenzotl toi et charlie êtes de merveilleux parents 🩷🩷 (translation you and charlie are wonderful parents)
yourusername merci! revenez bientôt, vous êtes toujours le bienvenu! (translation thank you! come back soon, you are always welcome!
user55 theyre parents🥹🥹
user80 oh im sobbing this is so lovely😭😭
user17 they still call her tiger☹️☹️
user49 im confused is that the babies name?
user17 no they just call her tiger in public, we dont know her name! they started calling her tiger when they found out they were going to be parents and it seems to have stuck!!
liked by yourusername
user32 i was listening to never grow up when i saw this post🥹🥹
user47 congratulations guys!!
yourusername • september 2024
liked by charles_leclerc, olliebearman and 5,291,649 others
happy birthday little tiger, it has been a joy to watch you grow into the wonderful girl that you are (please stop mama cant handle you getting bigger🥹)
you are so incredibly loved and i hope you feel that every day, i hope you have a wonderful day today and everyday baby!
happy birthday love mama and papa🐯🩵
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charles_leclerc happy birthday angel, we love you🐯
olliebearman happy birthday tiger!!
yourusername see you soon darling🩷
lewishamilton i can’t believe she is already four🥹💜
yourusername time really flies by🥹
user67 SHES SO BIG NOW😭
user5 right?! i remember when yn posted her on charles back☹️
user52 these pictures are so cute oh my god😭😭☹️☹️
user60 actually my favorite family ever🥹
user21 i feel so emotional knowing ive watched this family grow
user19 is anyone else sad charles hasnt posted the annual story?
user37 theres no way he just stops,, she has so many more songs☹️
user66 wait im new what are we talking about?
user37 because charles and yn write the birthday captions together, charles started posting a picture of tiger with a song yn has written about children or babies etc (example: last year it was never grow up!) and she has so many more songs that would fit but he hasnt made one this year :(
yourusername & charles_leclerc • september 2024
liked by lewishamilton, pierregasly and 6,280,740 others
tiger its your birthday surprise; Robin out now🐯
comments on this post have been limited
yourusername📌 ps robin is not tigers name🩵
charles_leclerc thank you for letting me on a song🫶
yourusername always baby
charles_leclerc we love you tiger🐯
charles_leclerc added to their story
[song used: Robin by yn text: way to go tiger🐯🩵]
seen by yourusername, pierregasly and 1,279,940 others
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twitter
#f1 x reader#f1 instagram au#f1 smau#f1 social media au#social media au#formula 1 insta au#formula 1 social media au#formula one x reader#formula 1 x reader#f1 x you#formula 1 imagine#f1 imagine#charles leclerc insta au#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc#charles leclerc social media au#f1 insta au#charles leclerc smau
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"Why him, and not me?"
Because you gave up and stopped hoping. This might seem understandable for someone millenia old, someone who's died more than a thousand times, but the whole point of Yoo Joonghyuk is that he doesn't give up no matter what. He keeps hoping for the best, he stands up after a loss and keeps walking. He is an honorary Spider-man at this point. And this is exactly what young Kim Dokja needed: someone to show him that he can continue, no matter what horrors may lie ahead, no matter how tired, disillusioned and desperate he gets. He can overcome this, because Yoo Joonghyuk has been through worse and still chose to overcome this. The moment Yoo Joonghyuk stops, he is no longer the Yoo Joonghyuk that Han Sooyoung created for this sad, desperate, suicidal teenager (which is symbolically underlined by Yoo Joonghyuk choosing to call himself something different). True, he is no longer a character, he's broken out of his confinement... but he's also lost the essential part that mattered most to Kim Dokja, the sole reason behind his existence.
What is also interesting is that it's Kim Dokja who gave 1864!Yoo Joonghyuk the will to live again. Yoo Joonghyuk had to keep dying and returning again and again so that Kim Dokja lived, so that they eventually met and Kim Dokja could give Yoo Joonghyuk the hope that Yoo Joonghyuk had been slowly feeding to Kim Dokja through an IV for all these 13 years. This is why it's 1864!Yoo Joonghyuk, and not the Plotter.
(Although I do find it ironic that the Plotter basically gets an umambiguous happy ending with his friends and his adoptive child/sponsor/reason for existence, whilst 1864!Yoo Joonghyuk's suffering is far from over, and we don't even, strictly speaking, see if he's succeeded in bringing Kim Dokja back).
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Im unable to go to school for art, bc my parents cant afford it and my family in general wouldnt be too supportive of it (I live with them)
I dont mind that, I still do art as a hobby, but it kind of hurts. I like what I am in college for actually, but I just love art
Is there a way to better my art while not having the tools art students have? I dont care if its harder, I would just like hope :/
hi !! so i can totally relate to this
i did not grow up with a wealthy family, i got into my highschool (which was a specialty art highschool) thru application. After that, i was kind of lost with art education. I had no money to go to a big art school, so i did community college.
here is what my art looked like in highschool
However, that was kind of a waste. It was pretty much a repeat of what i learned in highschool and to be honest the entire time i was in highschool i didnt improve at ALL. not one bit. This continued into college. In fact i didnt improve at all in college either except for the times i took a gap.
as of this point in the timeline my art looked like this
now i havent been in college now for a couple years, and let me tell you my art has gotten the biggest improvement ive ever seen. Hell i didnt even finish school, I owe money and cant return until i pay it. But honestly ? its hard to find the motivation.
What im getting at is all of my improvement has been done thru my own means. School did not help me improve. And everything you learn in art school can easily be found online via videos and tutorials.
So what made me improve so much out of school ? Honestly ? Passion. I hated being told what to do, I always have. I do not like cookie cutter assignments, boring studies, all of the subjects that are rinsed and repeated every semester. I stopped caring, and during the last bit of time i was in school, I went to my professor. I said I didn’t care, I hated the assignments, I had no desire. You know what she told me ? To ignore them then. She pushed me to make what i WANTED to make, she made assignments specifically for me, she gave me full creative freedom. THATS WHEN I IMMEDIATELY IMPROVED. School isnt what helped me, what helped me is being given an environment where i could be passionate and raw and make art i wanted to make. And you dont need thousands of dollars and a studio to make that happen.
You don’t need those tools. And remember, when it comes to art school, its never the students who are naturally talented or only have technical skill that succeed, its the ones that give a shit. the ones who love art, who love to create, and have a story to tell.
one you realize that it gets so much better.
Anyways, as a last update, heres my art now that im out of school and doing my own thing
#sorry im sappy#im really passionate about art#its everything to me and i have strong opinioms#in another life i am an art professor#i just want to share my passion with others#i hope this was helpful at least a bit#do not hesitate to dm me if you need more advice#ask#artist#my art#artwork#art#digital art#artists on tumblr#illustration#original art#digital artist#digital drawing#art process#art school
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hi!
can i request for a hermes x gn!reader x odysseus? :)
i was thinking that maybe reader is already a friend of odysseus, like a childhood friend maybe or a neighbor/citizen of his kingdom and has known him for years
reader liked ody but ody already has penelope so they arent flirting anymore but when hermes shows up and starts taking readers attention for himself that's when ody starts to get a little jealous maybe? aaa sorry it has been a while since ive requested anything - i hope its not too specific ;v;
i just thought it would be fun to see witty banter battles and playful snark ^^"
I have spent my entire day throughout school and home to work on this so i am very sorry for any mistakes or if its bad, i was speed running before i eepy, also i tried to make reader x odysseus more platonic cus he got penelope yk? ALSO NGL THIS WAS VERY FUN TO WRITE HEHEHEH
Masterlist
Divine Intervention
Hermes x GN!Reader x Odysseus [p]
EPIC: The Musical ~ Oneshot ~ Fluff
Words: 2.1K
Published: 11-5-2024
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A gentle puff of air blew through the vacant meadow, flowers brushing each other in a picturesque view. Within the center of the field, two souls lied together, laughing and gazing at the clouds with imagination.
“That one reminds me of Argos,” Odysseus pointed up to a running puff of white above that loosely resembled said dog. “Oh, I see it!” Penelope grinned, her smile shining brighter than Helios. A short distance away, under the shade of a tree, sat the best friend of the couple. With their backs against the tree, Y/n watched on emotionlessly. Their mind felt blank; witnessing the source of their love showing admiration to somebody else delivered a new type of pain to their chest. Y/n felt lost. Would they never be the first choice? Odysseus had known them for the entirety of both their lives, but the moment he met Penelope, he forgot all about Y/n. He was head over heels, claiming he’d marry the princess before he turned twenty. Sure, they stayed friends, but that wasn’t enough for Y/n though they’d never admit it. Y/n couldn’t even blame Odysseus. Penelope looked like a goddess sent from Olympus. Anyone could mistake her for a divine being.
With a silent sigh, Y/n prepared to push themself to their feet and take their leave. But a new presence stopped them from rising up. Looking to their left side, Y/n saw another figure sitting beside them. “Wow, really the third wheel, huh?” A cheery voice sounded from his mouth.
“Who are you?” Y/n asked, like any sane person would. “You mean you don’t recognize me? Your friend Ody would if you asked him,” the individual turned to face Y/n, giving them a good view of his identity. A metal helmet sat atop his head, adorned by smaller, brown, speckled wings. A mischievous grin was placed on his lips, with the rest of his face remaining covered by a shadow. Y/n leaned back slightly so the sun could pierce the shade better, revealing more of the man. A chiton made of the finest silk hung loosely from his shoulders, stopping at his knees. The male sat casually criss-crossed, his back propped against the same tree. A scepter sat on the ground beside him, holding two golden snakes and two glistening wings, power radiating off the item. Another point of interest for Y/n’s eyes were the sandals on his feet. Not in a footfetish type of interest, but intrigue with the fact wings fluttered like no big deal off the heels. Just as Y/n was going to breathe out his name, the guest spoke first. “Indeed, it is I, Hermes. God of messengers, travelers, luck, gambling, borders, animal husbandry, thieves, wit, speed, language, trades, commerce, athletes, merchants-”
The god continued rambling proudly about each of his domains as Y/n’s awe slowly fell into a deadpan. “I know you,” they cut off his boasting, not truly caring if it was rude. Thankfully, instead of being offended, the god merely grinned. “So, Y/n, what are you doing out here? Away from the party?” Hermes had a teasing tone in his voice, gesturing to the two lovers ahead of them. Odysseus and Penelope had no knowledge of a god offering company to their closest friend. Y/n wanted to ask how he knew their name, but they figured it was some divine power thing.
“Ody wanted to spend time with Penelope, but he was too nervous to come alone. So he dragged me along. But I don’t want to intrude on their moment together,” Y/n shrugged, looking at their friends.
The mischief god watched the mortal for a moment before a plan formed in his mind. “Well, I can’t let such a beautiful soul be alone, now can I?” Y/n turned to face Hermes, an amused yet confused smile on their lips. “I’m sorry?” They inquired, not sure if they understood his words correctly. In response, Hermes stood up and held his hand out to help the mortal up too. “If they have their moment together, then allow me to give you a moment for us.” The god had a gentle smile, keeping his hand out for them to grab. Raising an eyebrow, Y/n hesitantly took his offer and grabbed his hand. He pulled them up to stand beside him.
“So, where are we going?” Y/n asked, looking into the forest behind them. Hermes just laughed in excitement.
“You’ll see!”
And before Y/n could utter another word, the god pulled them close and took off racing through the trees. The world whipped past them at lightning speed. Trees, rocks, roads, towns—everything went by in a flash until suddenly it all paused.
Taking a deep breath, Y/n stepped away from the god. Their legs felt like brittle wood, threatening to give out at a simple breeze. Once they caught their breath, the mortal looked around to see them in the center stands of the nearby sports. Athletes were in the midst of competition down below, and nobody seemed to question two people just appearing. Hermes sat down on a stone slab and patted for Y/n to sit beside him. Doing so, the god offered them some grapes he may or may not have stolen from other mortals. “Did you choose this event just because you’re the god of athletes?” Y/n questioned with a small laugh, taking a grape to eat and watching the sports continue. Hermes responded with his own laugh, beaming at the person beside him. “Would you leave if I said yes?” Y/n pretended to think for a moment before turning to face him with a hum. “No, but you better make this worth it,” they chuckled playfully, popping another grape to their mouth. ~~~~~ Hermes did truly make it worth it. So worth it that the two began going on adventures every day. From splashing around in rivers to exploring dark caves, the mortal and god’s friendship grew each day.
Anytime Y/n questioned themself in a mirror, Hermes would somehow maifest behind them to compliment their looks before going back to whatever job he had that day. “Dahling, you look gorgeous—beyond stunning, truly.” Was heard more than once
They would even find gifts sometimes, usually always stolen, waiting in their bedroom.
~~~~~
Currently, Y/n and the king of Ithaca were sitting in his bedroom, just talking like old friends. “So, you’ve been disappearing randomly only to come back in one state or another. Not to mention, you’ve been much more upbeat lately. What’s going on?” Odysseus interrogated with a grin. Y/n stayed quiet for a moment. Could they tell their lifelong friend about the new soul in their life? Odysseus had a raised brow, waiting for a response. “C’mon, you know you can tell me anything.” He offered with a calmer smile. Y/n’s expression softened, and they sighed, deciding to speak the truth. "I met someone,” they began, trying to form the correct words. Something in Odysseus’ eyes changed at this revelation. His posture stiffened just for a moment before returning to his previously relaxed state. “And who may this 'someone’ be?” The king continued, trying to get as much information as possible. With a quiet whisper, Y/n confessed. “Hermes...” Their lips held a bashful smile as they looked away from their friends' eyes. The friend in question paused, blinking slowly to process the information. “Hermes?! The god?!” He exclaimed with an open jaw. Y/n quickly shushed him, shoving their hands in his face. “Sh sh sh! Shut up! Not so loud,” they hissed, taking their hands away carefully once Odysseus nodded in agreement. “You know Hermes?” He continued to quiz. “Don’t you?” Y/n raised an eyebrow, thinking back to the first conversation with the god. Hermes said that Odysseus would know who he was.
“Well, yeah, I do. But I didn’t think you would too,” he tried to reason, although his point fell flat. “You don’t think a lot,” they retorted. Before Odysseus could try to fire back, a sudden breeze blew in from the open balcony. Looking over, a certain god stood against the stone railing with a familiar grin. “If it isn’t my two favorite mortals! If I wasn’t mistaken, I’d say I was the center of this discussion,” Hermes laughed, waltzing into the room. He ruffled Odysseus’ hair playfully before taking a stand next to Y/n.
“Hermes.” Odysseus brought a hand up to fix his hair. The god just laughed again, wrapping an arm around Y/n’s shoulder to give them a side hug. The narrowing eyes of the soldier didn’t go unnoticed by Hermes, brightening his smile.
“Hey Hermes,” Y/n greeted warmly.
Odysseus didn’t enjoy seeing his best friend so cozied up with another person. Even if that other person was a god who saved his life multiple times and also his great-grandfather. An idea began forming in his mind to get rid of the situation. “Y/n, I think I remember seeing a show taking place in the city. You and I can go see it now before it finishes,” the king offered, casting a victorious grin to Hermes as Y/n gave their own smile. “That sounds cool! Yeah, we can go!” Y/n moved away from Hermes' hug as the two mortals took their leave. Once they left, Hermes frowned and took his own leave back to his previous tasks for Olympus. ~~~~~ It didn’t take long for a secret war to begin. Every moment, Y/n was in between two opposing sides. They were either with Odysseus one day and Hermes the next, or they were sitting in between both males who kept trying to one-up each other, which would eventually end in arguments.
“I mean honestly, darling, why spend your time with such a brute when you could have someone as divine as I?” “BRUTE?!”
“Really, Y/n, he’s the god of lies. If anything, his words mean nothing compared to mine.” “Your entire reputation is a lie.” “Well, I guess it’s just you and me, Y/n—” “Oh, please. That’s more of a stress than a privilege.” “Did you hear something, dahling? Why, I can’t seem to hear anything below FIVE FEET.” “OH HOW MATURE—” “IT IS!!”
This took place almost daily, and it acted as peak entertainment for Y/n. ~~~~~ Today, unlike any other, Y/n and Odysseus sat quietly in a familiar meadow. However, the king was being unnaturally quiet. Turning to face their friend, Y/n spoke up.
“Ody, are you alright?” Concern was clear in their voice as they waited patiently. Odysseus didn’t make any notice of hearing their words for a minute before he finally answered.
“You’re replacing me.”
Those words caught Y/n off guard. Odysseus was looking at the grassy field around them rather than meeting his companions eyes.
“What? No, I’m not. What makes you say that?” They furrowed their eyebrows in worry, anxious for his reasoning.
“You spend more time with him,” he hissed, speaking of the god like venom on his tongue.
“Well, maybe, but-”
“BUT NOTHING! I’m supposed to be your best friend! Me! Not him. It’s us against the world; we agreed on that years ago.” Odysseus turned to Y/n with a deep frown, his eyes showing unease. He had been betrayed time and time again before; he couldn’t risk losing another friend.
Y/n stayed silent, stunned by his sudden outburst. Odysseus just looked back to the meadow, shame filling his soul. After a few moments, Y/n regained their bearings as sympathy and guilt covered their features.
“Ody,” they called softly, but he continued to look away. "Ody, look at me.”
Reluctantly, he looked over to his friend.
“Ody, I could never replace you. You are woven into my soul like a grapevine. Why do you think I would break our pact?” They spoke softly, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. Odysseus sighed, looking back to the ground. He felt so stupid for assuming they would hurt him too.
“I’m sorry,” he mumbled gently, looking at them out of the corner of his eyes.
“It’s alright; I would do the same if I were you. I forgive you,” Y/n smiled warmly to him, earning a hesitant smile back from him.
~~~~~
After this whole incident, Odysseus stopped arguing so much with Hermes. Sure, the mortal still gave the god a few half-hearted glares, but they eventually learned to share Y/n’s attention.
The trio sat calmly on the balcony of Odysseus’ room, waiting for Penelope to arrive for a nightly get-together. The sun sank slowly below the horizon, offering a charming glow to the city.
“So, darling, how’d you manage to get such a feral man to calm down?”
“FERAL?!”
#x reader#fluff#betterthanyalls#ask#oneshot#epic odysseus#epic the musical#epic the musical x reader#epic musical#oddyseus#hermes x reader#epic hermes#epic hermes x reader#hermes#epic#odysseus x penelope#odysseus#the odyssey#odysseus x reader
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Having lost my cat, my uncle, my great grandmother, my grandma's best friend (& one of the people who helped raise me), AND my dad all within the span of 9 months,
I have little sympathy for people who use deaths as an excuse to be an asshole. I get it, it sucks. Get the fuck over it. Your grief is not an excuse to treat others like shit. What the fuck.
#speculation nation#this isnt anything personal. im just reacting to a post that kind of pissed me off.#to be fair i was never close with my great grandmother so im not particularly broken up about that one#but it's still yet another death in the family within such a short period of time.#my cat is on this list bc he was the first one and it majorly fucked me up. so yeah it deserves to be here.#the others. well. my grandma's best friend makes me sad but at least she was getting up in years#my uncle and dad though. especially my dad. yea those have fucked me up the most.#im never gonna be the same after experiencing all of this in such short succession.#it sucks in a major way. and things are still continuously tumultuous.#but you dont see me lording it over people and using it as an excuse to be an asshole.#maybe i make people uncomfortable with how casually i mention it. but like whatever. it's simply my truth.#that's still just like. me just talking about what ive been up to. that kind of thing.#idk acting like someone needs to be treated with the most tender of touches after experiencing a major death#to the point where you cant even tell them when theyre being a manipulative little asshole?#i dont fucking think so!#yeah okay all grief hits different but ive pulled myself up by the bootstraps and kept my head on straight#even after i experienced death after death after death after death after Fucking Death#whats your excuse? youre Sad? we all fucking are. thats just life.#it's horrible and awful and it sucks that we have to live with this but you CANT let that affect how you treat other people!!!!!#and here i am making my own post venting about it instead of replying to the aita post that sparked this#bc the person the post was about just made me so angry to hear about.#but i am... a reasonable adult who separates themselves from situations before reacting in anger...#and so im making a tumblr post to get the emotions out instead of getting emotional at random strangers lol#anyways i actually had a pretty good day today. but in the way of grief. the smallest things can trigger moods sometimes.#but i am letting the emotions flow... here they are... i have expressed them... and i shall now release them... amen...#negative/#i guess lol. i sure did rant enough for it.
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