#so compared to how ive been im really better
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not to be like waah waaaah im so upset about my life while i have a nice and good life in general compared to so many people here but. i still feel like the art piece "here's the life i've always longed for". i keep thinking about my father almost crying talking to me on the phone at the election night. he kept saying he doesnt want me to feel like this country's fate is my only choice, and my life will not be ruined by these terrible people. but it feels like that sometimes. a lot of times actually. and i mean im trying to do things to change it really. but also im not trying hard enough. i get mad at myself for that. then i am mad that i live in a reality where i have to try so fucking just to have a chance of living in a decent reality. and what if i cant do it... i have to try harder i really have to apply myself i dont want to be a disappointment and a regret for my future self. i hope she is in a safe and beautiful place, not here. anywhere but here. please.
#yeah i cried while typing this keep scrolling#the thing is sometimes i think im just exaggerating everything in my head like. what's the worst that can happen right#but the truth is#I'm really really scared for this country's future. i dont know how bad it can be but it is already not good and still going worse#so. i dont think we are reaching when we panic about our future everyday#I know this is because I'm likely severely mentally ill but i cant live with this some days#the normal thing is obviously just. continuing to live#but the fact is that all this shit we've been going thru in the last year (before too. but especially 2023)#have pushed me to the point i was having panic attacks everyday lmao so like. yeah i guess it is fair that i want to gtfo of here#so compared to how ive been im really better#but still i dont apply myself the way i should. and it feels so bad because so many ppl worse off than me are pushing for their survival#everyday while im like waaaah wah i cant focus oh how will i get out of this country oh poor me wah :( lmao#girllll just work on it just do the things u must do. okay this whole post got way out of focus im just#writing my messed up steam of consciousness at this point idk#but. i cant help but say it's hard it's so hard to live everyday for me it's so hard to breathe sometimes#and i know that's a *me* problem. if i was not like this i could do so much#I should be doing so much#to get the life i want for myself. but it's so hard. i hope i wont die unhappy and full of regret#neg#🗒#okay i dont even remember what i wrote here exactly but it's probably the saddest post I've done in a long time#dont know if anyone actually reads it it's so embarrassing when i think abt it 👍 i dont even know where this came from#it's not even a Bad day
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as someone who isnt super excited for sotm for certain reasons I am really glad that like. it's clear that since ruin theyve been setting up for carnival and sotm IS carnival. so now that carnival is finally coming out, afterwards theyll be moving on to other plotlines since the main villain stuff is sorted out
I'm just rlly happy to finally see a clear direction for how the story is gonna be playing out with like "okay these games were leading up to this so after this will be open possibilites" instead of like. absolutely no info about each upcoming game and being left guessing before it releases and just having to wait and see what's in it and if anything you're looking forward to will be in it
it feels like they have a plan and a solid direction for what they're trying to do and after carnival releases thatll be all that buildup coming to fruition. & we already know from the Scott interview that theres another release 'beyond sotm' that's 'super exciting' so maybe thatll be focusing on another big currently untouched (which is basically all of them) plotline, or even the big campaign game that dawko has been calling security breach 2
#even if i dislike how theyve been handling this whole mimic cassies dad factory mapbot bonnie bully stuff#the past like 2 releases 3 after sotm#after watching johns theory video it really does feel like stuff was more purposeful with thought put into it when u plug in cassies dad#even if the plot of him being behind mxes and trapping mimic is pushing other more important characters aside#its probably what happened and accepting that makes the story at least seem more thought out#it did make me feel better about it bc like. it at least feels like theyre cooking#like what theyre working on DOES have a direction and a plan and it isnt just random stuff like how it felt when hw2 came out#i might still think that the stuff theyve been doing the past few releases is boring af and uninteresting#compared to earlier concepts like focusing on vanny and the possession aspects and sentient glamrocks#(we could see more of it with freddy if theyd let him come back ever)#but like. at least it has thought put into it and feels like theyre actually trying to set shit up for something#like sotm is an ORIGIN#the tagline was 'sometimes you have to understand the past to see the future'#at the end of the day sotm is a setup for a campaign thatll take place in present day anf#even if its taking ten thousand years to get there im excited for it#aka its taken a long time to tell this story setup of cassies dad and mimic and shit and it might be boring for some people#(me)#but at the end of the day its meant to be setup explaining the past of why mimic exists (even if that's already in tbe books)#so after we 'understand' it we can get back to present day#and focus on its current victims vanessa gregory cassie etc#cassies dad is 100% dead if hw2s protag is him so he woukdnt be relevant anymore. just another character thing to serve cassie#im just saying like after sotm its wide open for getting back to the plot#and i think its actually right to say that bc like all of this has been setup. if hw2 protag is cassies dad its a prequel to ruin#so rn ruin is the most recent game in the timeline. meaning the next game that takes place in current tjme will focus on the current mains#Gregory cassie vanessa#sorry for fnaf plot posting again ive been thinking about it a lot the past few days#thought id balance some negative ive posted with a positive since im feeling better about it myself :)#one day we're gonna be so back and its gonna be great#its just gonna be a long annoying wait lmao#thoughts
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NO YOU’RE SO RIGHT ABOUT THE MAJIMA STUFF THOUGH. GOD. God forbid you speak poorly about the fandom silly guy etc etc. I rt’d one post about someone being annoyed abt majima getting an insane amount of merch (especially compared to other characters- even other PLAYABLE characters) and suddenly my TL is filled with ppl taking it as a personal attack….. like?? Settle down???
My one fear is that instead of Mine content we’re just gonna get Majima Saga 2 for yk3 and rgg will call it a day. WHAT ELSE IS THERE TO SAY ABOUT THE GUY !!! GENUINELY!!!
at this rate we’re going to have a complete record of Majima’s life from birth until modern day bc you knowww they’re never gonna let the cash cow die or retire. + god I lowkey need the 3jimas to break up Now so saejima and daigo can stand on their own again (w/out being overshadowed by Majima)…. Saejima especially… I miss the days when he felt like a character………
(I may have a lot to say on the topic) (he’s a fun character but at this rate I’m getting so sick of the fandom around him)
gen is kinda funny how when there's the Monthly Critique Of Majima post on twitter the rggtwt part of the tl is flooded with majima fans being upset. its like clockwork really LOL
as for saejima, i do miss him being solo... like he's funny with majima at times, but as wack as Y4 was i still really liked his coliseum scene, and his prison adventures in Y5 were a real treat too..
#snap chats#like you say one mild comment about majima in passing and then you have mates acting as if you burned their crops#like .. its never this serious .. also i think people have the right to be a littttttle miffed that other charas barely get anything#its starting to change with the plushies and saejima/akiyama figures so thats great but. still a way to go LOL#its just esp Lol inducing because kiryu and ichi are protagonists so it makes sense for them to get stuff#but majima is quite literally a side character that wasnt meant to have this much popularity#the concept of a chara becoming popular by accident isnt bad thats not the thing- its even cool when that happens#its just sometimes you just see people act really entitled to stuff for that character while every other chara is ignored#and then the same people acting surprised when others go 'actually ive had a bit enough of this guy'#honestly if they did another majima segment for a hypothetical yk3 id laugh. like id be a bit annoyed but id mostly laugh#cause truly what else is there. he's like a comic book character we just gotta keep making situations for him til hes 90#idk. just so funny majima's been given a sort of 'weird' protagonist status#and i say weird because he IS a protagonist but just compared to how he actually functions throughout y1-y6. lol. lmao even#like youre right in that majima's a fun character but he really is better in just small doses imo#or. at least i need people to relax on the idea of a 'majima gaiden' or making him any more prominent in the games than he is now#anyway i cant be bitter posting my dad is being funny as hell. he got us bracelets and he was like#'in our family you and i are the only ones who like these. makes us cool' and i was like 'yeah dad we're so cool'#and this old man is just 'we're so cool ☺️' LIKE PL E A S E THE EMOJI TOOK ME OUT. i love my dad. all bitterness is gone from my heart#anyways bye if rgg gives majima a saga in yk3 im gonna livestream playing that and only that#not even yk3 just the majima part 😭😭😭😭
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I was gonan make a post apologizing for lack of regular art but I feel like jts already clear im sporadic and in and out of it bc chronic pain and circumstances. So for now I'm gonna hibernate, get my health steady again, deal with money issues, and art will happen when it happens.
#i do feel kind of worn down by it. i wish patreon and commissions didn't feel so taxing even with accommodations ive made for myself#maybe it'll feel better in the future when less is going on but rn it#places this barrier of management in front of art that makes it less relieving to do#cause there's always a part of my brain reminding me it needs to serve a purpose and needs to pay off in some way#which isn’t a new feeling for artists obviously. maybe doing it all since hs js also why it's tiring. and patreon changjng the way it does#working part time now too. idk if maybe id like to step back from it#it's abnormal that i worked taht hard and it did help me get out from my parents and stay out. but im also tired ect#idw let people down by not being able to keep up with a self imposed expectation or#be irresponsible and remove sources of income for myself. redbubble inprnt and patreon all suck in ways that bother me hugely#i only really enjoy itch.io at the minute#not to say anything bad abt patrons or commission clients you've all been excessively kind and patient and understanding always#i wish i could make them better i feel like there's no way how it is at the minute is of value compared to my output as an older teen#but yknow. self imposed worry. im just worn out and id like to just make things without the management and the fretting and the#i havent made a comic post for patreon in ages or this or this i havent made a speedpaint or a song or#yadda yadda lmao#sorry for the impromptu ramble#this isnt to say id never do commissions or a store or anything again or i want to not make money off art#god knows i will need to be grinding out comms once im well again but ex#i feel like im getting less and less able to manage it and then putting out less and less#and hoping ill somehow get very healthy and active again one day and make it worth the wait yknow.#it's not a feeling i want my art to carry in me.#part of me and the parent in my brain is saying it'd be selfish to give up income but the rest is like#that's cruel. i want to feel good and healthy
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however setpmeber has felt too slow to me why isnt it october yet.
#i actually cannot believe im saying this but lowkey i wish the sem was over and i could go home#NOT because i want to. but because a) i miss my bed & bath and b) i wouldnt have to be on the constant lookout for her all the time#and also c) i know its askign for too much but im hoping for spring semester to just change things up again pleaseeee. last spring was so#good to me i just want another good spring sem pleaseeee#but i know deep down i will probs never have as good of a spring sem as last year#however i will say this fall sem is infinitely better i think than the last one#last fall sem was so awful. like compared to high school it was way way better but in general not great#i think just cuz this sem i have a more set group of friends and ive been just doing shit left and right and STILL somehow on top of my wor#like its a good start in a way!!! i dont think teh 'on top of my shit' will last but i feel good about things generally#obviously not about my breakup but even then like all things considered other than that its been a really good start#like ive just been more willing to not be cooped up in my dorm all teh time and i want to do things#and i think its nice that i actually have 5 roomies cuz last year it was doubles#and my roomie was never around so maybe the 5 roomies has actually also helped#even though not having an active roomie last year didnt bother me i guess ive realized how quiet things were last fall
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sitting back after writing 3k words of a fic and thinking. what the hell is this
#ada speaks#if i say what ive written#this entire scenario is insane but. i guess im committed#it has been a very very long time since ive written mac and its like. allll coming out in a way i didn't really expect#i *almost* feel worse for what im putting him through than dennis. ....almost.#this shit is honestly so heavy i think i need a break but none of my other fics are light either lmfao#whats worse: hostage situation turned incredibly fucked up conversion therapy#or the most relentless barrage of awful truths realizing that your existence is nothing more than a burden on the people you love and#no matter how much you sacrifice and how hard you're beaten down you will never have anyone to lean on because even though youve finally#reached a point where you realize you have to open up to them they will never see you for who you truly are because of the years of lies#you've fed them#*wheeze*#okay i answered my own question actually this is the lighter fic comparatively#dennis is suffering in both but at least he has mac with him in the former for better or worse#north dakota dennis suffers and then season 13 on is the bleakest most hellish time like has dennis actually been close with the gang since
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man. i changed so much these past years
#im different from last years me who was different from 2021 me who was different from 2020 me and so on and so forth#it feels kinda weird thinking about it bc i went through *so much stuff*#all of it in just the past 4 years... insane#i found out i was trans. i went on lockdown. i started posting my art online. i made online friends.#i went through three different relationships. every single one of them changed me forever.#i started writing. i finished middle school. i read homestuck. i used discord everyday for 2 years.#i found my personal sense of style. i started going tk school again. i made friends irl. i lost all the online friends i had.#(thay wasnt bc of any scandal i just left the friendgroup and then started to slowly interact more with ppl irl#whi sorta made my online interactions dwindle especially one-on-one interactions#i think i feel better like this go be honest with you. the connections feel stronger and i feel closer to the friends ive made#not saying i dont like the people i know and befriended here just saying that not being chronically online anymore really changed how i#go through with internet interactions)#damn. really feeling the passage of time now.#also this is not a sad reminiscent post im *really* glad im in the place i am in life right now#i have a qpp i have an irl friendgrouo that i feel 100% comfortable with for the first time in my life im doing ok at school#i have a vision for my future my relationship with my parents is sooo much better#idk man. compare that with 14 year old me eating alone at school bc i was too scared to talk with the other people on my class and like.#yeah man. im doing a lot better#i DO have to update my art blog though. its been too long sincd i posted anything#talk
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the way i have absolutely no business being the way i am
#horse.txt#vent //#sort of. too high to be sad abt it im in anthropology mode and listening to music that makes me feel sexy so its fine yk#anyway i typed a whole bunch of other tags talking abt how and why i feel this way by going through a few of the events i can remember#from my childhood that Might explain why im so emotionally guarded and struggle to open up anymore.#bc i Wanted to say they all felt dumb and juvenile esp since ive actually like#made peace with most of the ppl who were involved with them#but the Anthropology mode was just tearing it all down as i typed it bc that Is just a ridiculous way to look at it no matter how you cut it#doesn't matter that nobody involved really Meant to deal that kind of harm and i dont need to hate or blame anyone in order to acknowledge#that it still just Happened. like thats a Memory already babe no do overs.#which is kind of just accidental therapy so sick. love that fir me genuinely!#but also yes theres the bitch part of me that still wants to discredit it bc acknowledging that it happened =/= Fixing My Issues#so im still at square one technically. ive just been pacing in circles on it for a while ig#EVEN WORSE that the Scale of my issues is so incredibly mundane compared to so many of the people i seem to meet.#sitting in bed crying abt not having friends for a few days in elementary school when other ppl have jojos bizarre adventure levels of Lore#i know im not technically invalid for feeling the way i do or anything but god. if it doesn't feel fucking Embarrassing to open up about😭#its impossible NOT to feel stupid and sensitive for having these first world ass problems. And letting them hold me back#bc ppl not liking me for any reason makes me sooooooooo fucking scared So fucking scared its not even funny 😝#at least. ppl in my Circles. im pretty ok about being assertive with randos#still some work to be done on it but its better than whatevers going on with my personal relationships rn#sincerely to my mutuals and loved ones who see this i swear to GOD i love you so so so fucking much and im so. im trying to figure out this#the stuff thats got me so distant and bad at keeping in touch. its a whole slew of feelings about how i see Myself--not yall#i double pinky promise cross my heart im extremely serious#thank you for being patient with me you mean more to me than im capable of putting into words right now#alright theres a shot of tears in the hollow of my collar bone time to wrap up this post#daily reminder that i love body hair. there's some honesty.#😎😎😎💪💪💪#the Quaritch under the cut is just to make me feel better bc i love him and i think hes so pretty. hes like a security blanket
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I finally saw stranger on the third floor(kinda, the version I watched was of a very poor quality)
The movie as a whole was ok, but wow! I love the stranger. Also Joe Briggs
#stranger on the third floor#the stranger#joe briggs#i actually couldnt have watched it at a better time#ive been toying with the idea of a series of drawings of fusions between peter lorre characters and characters from silent films#and for some reason the idea of fusing the stranger and cesare from TCODC really jumps out to me#also im so sad there wasnt more of poor joe#obviously as a big peter lorre fan i feel like he was underutilised for how talented he was#but compared to some other very talented actors who were really fucked over by the industry i feel like peter was pretty lucky#at least hes remembered today and even with the respect he deserved by some people#at least peter was always credited and billed somewhere on promotional stuff for his films#even if his name wasnt always as high up or prominently featured as it should be#compared to some other pretty talented people Peter did wrll for himself#Idk i really like Elisha cook jr and I think he deserves to have the parts he played remembered more#like even though the 41 maltese falcon film is the most popular and its other actors are mostly synonymous with the roles they played#I feel like when most people think of wilmer they think of dwight frys portrayal#and im sure he did a great job with the character aswell#but it makes me kinda sad as someone who thinks ECJ does a great job with his scant screentime#but anyway joe was fun#and i hope both he and the stranger survived#and put all that nonsense behind them and became friends
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BREAKING NEWS: guy who when hes sleepy says “its sleepy time. its bedtime” & sleeps with stuffed animals also has the capacity to understand large words and philosophical texts if he is given enough time to process and think about them in his own unique way. what a surprise!
#i mean.. its not as if i am overall philosophical. im not much of anything— not to sound self-depricating. i just mean im average really#then again compared to peers thinking about bodily autonomy IS philosophical or whatever.#my friend apparently was taking philosophy & rhetoric & found it completely boring.. i couldn’t comprehend it…#anyway.. what was i saying. its true im silly & most of my interests (¿ what AM i interested in?) are nature adjacent i still find—#—things like serious topics & discussions interesting. it just is surprising because i… well.. i look like this#[gestures to a hello kitty outfit with childish socks]#im not exactly professor looking#i also don’t think i converse much about it because a lot of my personality can come off as a toxic positivity type with the—#kind of always present jolly i sometimes have. like ill be expected to say ‘nothing can stop you champ!’ after their dads death or something#except im not like that. ive been trying to appear less obnoxiously positive & be less offputting#ive also been trying to write better in the sense i dont say bland nothing burger shit like ‘everythings gonna be ok’ because. no.#what if its not.. what if it gets WORSE! plus although its the right idea with most people its just filler#instead i try to give really detailed responses & although sometimes i do come off as being more comforting than a neutral force its—#sort of apart of how ive functioned and managed to be alive for so long.#regardless i just try talking casual like human earthlings do but its hard sometimes. hope that helps!#anyway im starting to fall in and out of consciousness (tired) so goodnight. if you read this i love you man.. possible soectator.. 🫂
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#idk who i am#did notes there's a new splinter#she existed like last year but i didn't know it was her i always confuse her with blythe but yeah idk#there's like.... okay so spark has personality issues honest rarepair ppl don't usually believe me but dds#super saiyan will or fuckin bobolio........ is comparable but pretty much completely different in basis#bo FUFCK originated from like having to grow up really fucking quick in some real ass situations just like ultimate adult figure except not#not in a protector way its like he exists similarly to patrick like social type except he isnt social hes been through some shit same as edw#fuckin smiley#right im specifically jus differentiating between bo and idk blythe pt2 and ive been keeping it secret cause she fucking sucks like not as m#not as much as cassie lol jk but fr like idk one of my tattoos is named dahlia maybe thats when she originated who knows i feel like shes#existed within me for a while i can always tell when dahlia is fronting in serious situations cause its like. literally not caring abt#literally not caring about others as a defense mechanism and entirely investing in myself in the situation and getting myself into a vetter#a better situation whether that be me alone somewhere or elsewhere i guess#ive been working on getting closer to spark but shit sucks cause like idk how to like idk interact like literally idk how to#basically you just talk to him i guess#but yeah its like idc thats the whole thing like in whatever situation its like focus on you dont engage plan your way out of this negativit#there are perks and downfalls to having whatever disorder#the dissociative part is axtually not a bad thing as long as u have someone there in brr robot mode to#function at high capacity while dissociated#cause while dissociation can come with airheadedness or distance it doesnt usually do that unless someone with some strong ass expectations#thinks that dissociation means ur like not in ur brain#thats honestly different theres an absense aspect as well as a dissociative aspect#you gotta jus be there in thefuckin background for whenever you dissociate#mfs be telling parts of me to go to sleep UGH and it fuckignnsucks cause its so annoying and it makes me tired as fuck like no im not sleepi#ng in my brain theres dormancy or jus#like sitting behind myself or within or something#sleeping within yourself isnt a very good thing for me cause its like. im always tired yknow like damn i wish i could do that#thats regular depression#thats another thing reasoning kind of like everything feels really far away physically so going anywhere is such a slog its like..#reading a book thats kind of boring and youre like oiay next chapter is like 10 pages away and then its hard to pay attention to what youre
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ALSO I MADE A TERRIBLE REALISATION EARLIER
#jinx's hijinks#so yk the guy ive got a crush on right. so i think his friend is trying to flirt with me and i just havent noticed. like at all until now#its like really bad bc i think they r like besties#like hes nice but also i barely know him#like this is not good for me#3rd time somethung like this has happened tho#its kinda crazy to me tho because up until the past year i never received real romantic attention#like pretty privilege is real guys and anyone who says it isnt is full of shit#and its so fucked up and evil that people will just treat you better and be nicer if they see you as attractive#its such a harmful thing no matter what#if youre not benefiting from it youre cast aside and you wonder whats wrong you you. you see so many other getting special treatment because#thet are conventionally attractive and you wonder what is wrong with you. and yiu end up endlessly comparing yourself to others#and if you do benefit from it you end up constantly questioning if peopoe are nice to you because they actually like you and thunk ur cool#or if they just think ur hot and wanna get in ur pants. like people have become overall so much nicer to me. because i “got pretty”#(all i did was get more confident and started expressing myself how i wanted to)#but it just constantly leaves me wondering if certain people genuinely like me or if its all surface level#or or certain people are actually nice or if they are just treating me a certain way because they think im hot#idk does this sound self absorbed#ive been thinking about jt so much lately as in such a dhort period of time o went from being asked out and flirted with as a jome#*as a joke#to having multiple people crush on me at once and get a lot of that type of attention#idk i wish i had the words to describe this experience and i wish i knew if its happened to others#because i think its really fucked up and its definitely tied back to misogyny and classism and racism because all oppression is connected#also im really sorry if you read all this i just needed a place to put all th3sr thoughts and im sure half of this doesnt even make sense#becaus its 6am ans im tired and hungry and i dont think right when im hungry
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idk how I should say "this was supposed to be me, I was supposed to be a beacon of joy for my friends, and I was supposed to have so many people I love that love me too, and I was supposed to actually bring people joy and lots of it, but then i came out of of my birthgiver autistic and proceeded to have every ounce of sunshine and any sort of social competence beaten from me by my own parents, my peers, and whoever thought they couldnt possibly continue life without molesting a 3 year old" without crying but
#and im just. too socially disabled. I hurt people because I dont understand them. theres only a 25% chance I make things better when im#trying to help cheer someone up. the other 75% I dont make a fucking difference or I get too empathetic and upset and snappy or I dont make#a difference at all and I just. im so scared of everyone#and the thing is I KNOW I have a 20% more chance of fucking up a social interaction compared to everyone.elae#I AM SO FUCKING AWARE OF MY SHORTCOMINGS I REALLY DO WISH I WAS IGNORANT BUT ITS HARD TO BE AFTER THE 15TH FRIEND THAT JUST FUCKING BLOCKS#YOU LMAO#I wanna be good. I dont wanna keep hurting my friends. but I dont know how to I dont know ive tried ive been trying for ten fucking years#I have been trying to be a pinkie pie for 10 fucking years. over a third of my fucking life bc I want to be that for people#cant stop watching the video. I wanna cry. I cant#Youtube
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Uuuuh, how to manage the bare minimum without struggling so bad?
#miranda talking shit#Hello. Ive been warned that i have to attend my courses and i know i do bc if not i lose my income#But for the life of me i cant manage it consistently and its pathetic... I am doing better mentally than i have for years#But its still so hard to do shit. To motivate myself. Still dont eat proper meals most days. I am trying to get 6000+ steps per day#But i only do that by walking around my apartment... How can a person struggle this badly?#I got no reason.. Only time i manage to do shit is when i really force it. People say one just have to force yourself and#I know. Thats only way i do anything. But when you have to force yourself to do the smallest of things ... The energy to#Force yourself doing the bigger things are less. I feel like im making excuses but also ive never found anyone who understand what i mean#Or feel. 'everyone have to force themselves sometimes' i know but i have to do it all the time. I regularly force myself#To do things that come naturally to normal people. And i already have limited energy compared to others#I dont want to use the small amount i have on basic shit but i have to and its frustrating
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me trying to find the words to explain how important ian's reaction to mickey getting married is cause!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
once he finds out about it he compares himself to her. asks mandy if mickey loves her, if she's pretty, asks how she is as a person and even get blown by her thinking she maybe is better at sex than ian.
he's scared terry managed to ''fuck the gay out of him'' and wants to know if he's forced to marry her.
ian won't go to school, leave the bed and stop thinking about it. every time ian has felt any sort of deep emotions in a relationship has only been with mickey.
he ran away because mickey got married.
whe was so ashamed of going to the psych ward thinking mickey would be put off by it.
was miserable whilst saying ''this might be the end with mickey.'' to his family
held onto mickey's hand when he showed up at night and could finally rest.
its no wonder ian decided to break up with him, he loved him too much and wanted mickey to be free.
when ian broke up with caleb he was mostly focused on being mad for being cheated on and questioned about his sexuality
he got with trevor cause he was being pushed to by trevor himself with his ''you're scared cause im trans'' and being judged for his lack of lgbtq+ knowledge. when he cheated on trevor and came back, he only did so that he could distract himself from leaving mickey behind once again. he only used trevor for sex as a way of coping. ive never seen ian being heartbroken by trevor not wanting him back to the point of not leaving his bed.
he didn't care about worrying trevor with his bipolar and trevor didn't really care to check if ian's med were working or not. but with mickey? he was scared of getting married cause he didn't want mickey to be stuck with ian's illness,
during their marrige he tried so hard to make his and mickey's life better and accepted with fondness mickey's worries about potentially being triggered
they're soulmates
#shameless#gallavich#ian gallagher#mickey milkovich#ian x mickey#svetlana yevgenivna#shameless us#cameron monaghan#noel fisher
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cybersex | camgirl! x skz
chapter II • chapter IV
MDNI (18+): this series will depict sex work and acts of sex. content warnings will include the following for this chapter: mention of masturbation, oral (f rec), alcohol, p in v (channie wraps it up this time), use of pet names (angel,baby), afab reader, ass smack (f rec), fingering, groping, aftercare !!, slight crying, squirting, safeword system, restraints (cuffs on reader), cussing, slight choking ?
genre: skz x camgirl!reader, use of she/her/hers
wc: 5.6K
Chapter 3
Jeongin and Seungmin would take their brief walk of shame to their apartment, just down the hall from you. They walked in silence, dragging their feet, heads fuzzy and worn down. Had they really… No, it was a dream, right? Without another word or glance, they returned themselves to their rooms. Jeongin was still hard. All he could think about was the way your lips wrapped around him, sucking him in so tightly. He threw his arm over his eyes and held back a moan as he started palming himself over his sweats. The sound of your moans, the feeling of your tight cunt, and the burning desire to spill every ounce of his cum into your pussy replayed in his mind like a broken record. The image of his cum pushing its way out of your pussy is forever burned into his eyelids, he thinks about how much restraint he felt in that moment when all he wanted to do was bury himself in you, pumping you with more and wanting to feel the way you gripped his cock.
Seungmin down the hall was in the same predicament. His hands had already worked away at himself, pumping to the memory of the way you choked around him. The way it felt to to grip your head in his hands as he used your mouth. All the times he had fantasized about you couldn’t compare to what he had with you tonight. He thinks of all the times he had spent gawking at you, even before your camgirl debut. He had always found you pretty, often trying to put himself in your vicinity giving himself an excuse to brush against you. Catching the way your legs looked in particular shorter skirts and dresses, when his perversions would get the better of him looking straight down your blouse when his height gave him the vantage. His mind wanders to the idea of what could’ve played out if you two had been alone together instead. Maybe even begging Jeongin a little more to have stayed at their apartment so he could enjoy your one on one time, in any case, Jeongin likely would’ve broken the door down to get to the two of you the minute he picked upon Seungmins body. His eyes were too good for him.
Their chance to rub one out is abruptly interrupted by the rapid buzzing of their phones.
hyun: there’s no fucking way
lix: ?
han: ?
chan: you’ve got to be kidding me… there’s no way it was you right?
minho: what ?
changbin: can someone explain?
The group chat was blowing up with questions. Hyunjin and Chan weren’t going to let up in their questions. When you first started your camgirl page, Jeongin was the first to learn and in consequence, he shared it with his hyungs. Sharing things like this wasn’t that big of a surprise, they had all been pretty open with their sex lives, and it just so happened to be that Hyunjin and Felix ran their own NSFW page. Felix remained on Twitter, posting content here and there, his main source was his Patreon subscription as he hadn’t really found the appeal of being live. Hyunjin ran his own live-streaming page, it started off on a bet but he found enjoyment in it and a huge ego boost.
seung: how’d you know ??
jeongin: ^^^ !!!!
hyun: that rosary ring isn’t that hard to spot
minho: CAN SOMEONE FUCKING EXPLAIN INSTEAD OF SPEAKING IN CODE
seung: im definitely not gonna be the one to tell him…
chan: seungmin and innie were in a camgirl’s stream
changbin: oH?
hyun: you know her pretty well minho, im surprised you werent watching tonight.
lix: i think i just heard him audibly gasp
han: keep him away from the baseball bat, im afraid he’s gonna try to break down the apart to kill one of them
minho: im not killing anyone… yet… explain yourselves
minho: you both have ten seconds before i come down to your floor to break your fingers off one by one
—
The next few days were all a blur. You had picked up some extra shifts at work to build your savings again, it was a bit tiresome to jump on live lately. You made a joke to Sana that you felt you ran out of orgasms. You were finding it hard to cum on your own, to find satisfaction with your vibrators or fingers or dildos, it couldn’t compare to the real thing of your previous nights. You tried to go live to edge yourself for a while but ultimately had to fake the orgasm, you just couldn’t find the pleasure in it on your own. You almost caved into texting Seungmin to come by for a redemption quickie as he hadn’t gotten his chance to fuck you the way his roomie had.
By this point, it had been about a week since you had an orgasm, you were growing irritable and frustrated. Your manager had called you in, asking if you could pick up a few extra hours to train a new hire bartender, begrudgingly you had agreed. Due to the holiday season, the restaurant’s normal rate of traffic had doubled and extra staff was needed. While you normally kept to waiting and serving tables, on occasion you would step up to bar as you were well-liked amongst the patrons and knew just the right ways to keep the orders flowing & the tips pouring. The new hire had already worked in some high-end speakeasies so your curiosity was met with a handsome face and the most charming smile.
“Hi, you must be Chris, I’ll be training you today around the bar and bit of the restaurant. It’s nice to meet you!” You reached a hand out to him to shake. He had to be one of the hottest guy’s you had seen in a long time, he was taller, with biceps you wanted to take bite out of, and a smile that made you feel weak in the knee’s
“Oh please call me Chan. It’s nice to meet you.” He smiled so preciously while shaking your, and dear god his hands were beautifully big, thought of what his hands would feel like roaming your body flashed across your mind before tucking itself away for a later time.
“So today I just want to go over some of our bar basics, our specialty drinks are, the holiday drinks, and a mini tour of the place.” You return a charming smile of your own to him.
He knew that you would be nothing short of drop-dead gorgeous, just from the way Minho would blush or fluster over every mention of you or the way the other two youngers were there to elaborate further. Your mask didn’t conceal much of your face but he would have never been able to pinpoint you to your camgirl persona, he’d have to applaud Jeongin later for his sharp eyes. You went over the basics with him, bar upkeep, where items are located, glassware available, and the storage for any quick additional needs that don’t require going to the storage room. He was mesmerized by the way you spoke with such firmness and enthusiasm, he wondered why you had decided to be a server instead when it was clear you had a flirty energy that could only work to your benefit.
“Any questions so far?” You ask as he finishes rinsing the drinkware you had used from the trial run holiday drink.
“Just one, how are you so unbelievably charming working as a waitress and not a bartender?” He lets a chuckle out while his eyes take in every movement you make. You laugh but there’s a heat rising to your face.
“Oh, really no good reason other than preferring the company of working amongst the rest of my waiter friends. It can feel lonely behind the bar or overwhelming with orders barking at you?”
“You think so? You telling me you wouldn’t prefer to play into your charm to pull some extra tips?”
“I mean… There’s ups and downs to both but uh I find more up’s with the great waiters and kitchen crew, speaking of, let me introduce you to them all before our dinner time starts.” You lead him out from the bar to the kitchen,
He walks behind you admiring the way your hips sway, he drinks you in from head to toe, thinking about all the nights he came to the sight of you riding a dildo while you gripped your tits. Minho is settling his things and putting his chef coat on when you walk in with Chan following behind.
“Chan, this is Minho, our head chef! He’s actually one of the best cooks in the city, I swear I’ve never had anything like his cooking” You say standing between the two of them, Minho feels butterflies in his stomach with the way you compliment his cooking.
“Oh sorry I forgot to tell you the Minho here is a good friend of mine, he’s the one that recommended me to the manager here, ain’t that right?” Chan reaches out to put a hand on Minho’s shoulder but his hand is quickly swatted away.
“Clean coat, don’t touch. Yes, though if he gives you any shit, come find me and I’ll straighten him, got it, angel?” The angel part rolls off his tongue, too quick for him to catch it.
“Oh uh will do, we’ll leave it to you then, Chef.” You nervously laugh as you usher Chan out of the kitchen. You can’t see the tips of Minho’s ear turning red while Chan laughs at the way you two are so head over heels for each other without knowing how badly Minho’s crush.
You introduce him to the rest of the staff, finding a pleasant surprise that he is also friends with Seung and Jeongin. Once the restaurant is fully running again for dinner time, you and Sana step away to debrief for a moment.
“So, hes friends with both Minho and the twins?” The twins was a nickname you had given Seungmin & Jeongin now due to the fact that they were often too in sync with eachother.
“That’s what he says. Makes me wonder if Minho knows?”
“He know’s something that's for sure, overheard the twins talking to him today about your trainee and his flirty ways. Something about breaking his kneecaps if he tried anything with you?”
“Tried anything?”
“Rumor has it that our Channie, is a notorious flirt with a winning streak of fucking other bartenders. The only thing is he never sleeps with the ones he works with. Don’t fuck where you work or whatever the saying?”
“Hmm. You’ll think he’ll fuck a waitress where he works then? This orgasm dry spell is really killing me now.” You ask Sana with a suggestive smile.
“You know, why don’t you just shoot your shot with Minho at this point? It’s clear as day that he likes you, he never yells at you when you need to modify a ticket, always puts your tickets at the front of the line whenever you need, AND always manages to save you a dinner somehow. He’s so into you and it truly baffles me the way you don’t see it.” Sana says with a sigh as she ties her server apron around her waist before opening the back door to let you two back in.
“He’s a good friend! In any case, he’s so far out of my league, I’d feel like I was a pity attempt to settle for less when he can do so much better,” You say rolling your eyes to which Sana kick’s your ass on the way in. She was never one for tolerating you negative attitude towards Minho reciprocating feelings.
The kick is momentarily forgotten when you bump right into Chan’s chest.
“Hey! Was actually looking for you, I wanted to ask if you wanted to grab a drink with me after work? You know just want to pay you back for the training today” Chan’s hands had settled on you waist when you bumped into him. “My friend’s bar just opened up down the block today and he wanted me to come by tonight, I was hoping you’d want to join me?’
“Sure, I’d love to. I’ll wait for you outside after I’m off.” You smile back at him as his hands drop pulling away to head out that back door into the alley for his own break.
“Well I think that answers the question doesn’t it?” Sana laughed while walking right past you.
—
The bar wasn’t too far down the street, it was a moulin-rouge-inspired bar called ‘Chaos’. The place lived up to its name when you noticed the ever-growing line, Chan wrapped an arm around your shoulder waving to the bouncer. The bouncer was a bit shorter but even more muscular than Chan. They exchange a few words before Chan introduces you to the bouncer who goes by Changbin, you exchange hello’s before he allows you both in. The line seemed tame in comparison to the inside, girls walked around with trays of shots and drinks, lampshades on their heads, and short-fitted rompers. It felt more lively than a bar and yet tamer than a club. Chan guided you to a booth tucked away in a corner, he sat you down and went off to grab your drinks.
You surveyed the room, noting the people present. Was it wrong that all you could think about was Minho’s “angel” pet name for you? It was endearing and felt warm coming from him, making you wonder what else he’d call you if you were something more. You're pulled out of your thoughts when a cosmopolitan is brought down into your eyesight, Chan is quick to slide into the seat beside you, his arm finding home once more on the wall above your head.
“Thank you again for showing me around the ropes today, couldn’t have asked for a better mentor.”
“It’s nothing really, I’m glad to hear I excelled in that area. How was the first shift?”
“Better than expected, really, I think I only grabbed the wrong bottle of gin four times before I learned my lesson,” He laughs leaning into you. He’s warm and there’s something so inviting about his energy. You continue taking small sips of your drink while talking, you learn he has a roommate, a very tightly knit friend group that included Minho amongst them, and an adorable king charles dog he named, Berry.
As you continued talking his hand slowly found its way to your knee, the only thing separating you from feeling his touch were the thinly made tights. He offered you another drink but you denied having felt satisfied with one.
“I hope I’m not too forward asking this but, you didn’t invite me for just drinks tonight did you?” You ask now placing a hand of your own on his thigh. He laughs, its genuine but he smiles coyly.
“Was I too obvious? I’m sorry, I just… I think you are beautiful and I’d be an idiot to not ask you out tonight” He smiles looking down at your lips, he’s got an arm under you wrapping around your waist to scoot you as close as possible.
“I hate seeing such a beautful girl having to fake an orgasm on live, nobody deserves that.”
Your heart skips a beat, your face is rising in heat and his words are swirling in your head. The words die in your throat when you feel his lips on your own. His lips soft and plush, his hand stays around your waist while using his other hand to bring your leg over his own. The kiss feels feverish, whether that’s from the atmosphere or the way your body has craved to be touched over the past week. Any ability to reason with yourself is out the window when his lips move to your jaw, making their way down your neck. You felt the urge to squeeze your thighs shut when his fingers have reached the tops of your thighs, now toying with the hem of the skirt. Fisting a hand in his hair while he sucks at the spot just below your ear, you pull just enough to earn a groan out of him. His groan is almost pornographic and only leads him to biting down on the spot he had been sucking at so sweetly. He pulls back to look at you, taking you in to scan your face for any sign of not wanting to go further, instead he finds a devilish smirk on your face.
“So, which one of those blabber mouths told you about my 2nd life? Hmm?”
“Actually, neither. I knew about you before, they only served as confirmation.” His hand on your thigh inches further up your skirt finding settlement in feeling you warmth. “Let’s take this back to your place, yeah?”
“How about yours?” You ask as he leans closer into you.
“Roomie will be home right now, don’t want interrupt his beauty sleep. We can put on a little show together anyways.”
“And you want your five minutes of fame too?”
“Baby, it’ll be a lot longer then five minutes.”
A short uber ride later and you were standing outside your building, as you make your way hope the stairs with keys in hand, you look back to see Chan standing there with a confused look on his face.
“You live here?”
“Yeah, 2nd floor. I thought Seung and Jeongin mentioned that we live across from each other?”
“No they didn’t but uh… I also live here.” Your eyebrow raised at this.
“... what floor?”
“First.”
“I think I may have seen your roamate before then. You know what, nevermind that, can we please go up to mine now? I don’t think you understand you badly I need this tonight.” He laughs at this before rushing up their stairs to meet you by your side, opening the door to let you in first. You don’t make it up to the first stair before he’s turning you around to make you look at him.
“Tell me how bady you need me to fuck you.” He pushed you up against the wall next to the stairs, his lips hovering just over yours. You let a whine out when you feel his hand reaching behind you to grab handful of ass, your hands pawing at his white tshirt, and the sticky pool of wetness seeping its way into your panties.
“Channie, please. Fuck me, please, I need to feel you inside me. Need your cock inside me, make me feel so fucking good please.” He lifts you up by your thighs leaving to wrap your legs around him.
“You sound so fucking hot when you beg. I want your screamig my name tonight when I pound that pretty cunt of yours.” A moan falls from your throat the minute he lifts you up completely to walk you to your apartment.
You fumbling with the keys with the way hes pressed up right against you, his boner already poking into your back. Once the door is locked, your kicking off shoes and tossing jackets onto the couch before leading him into the room. Turning the lights on to set a moody warm light, setting the camera up to only have your bodies in frame. By the time you look over at Chan, he’s stripped down to his boxers looking at the assortment of toys on your shelf. You see him pick up a pair of black cuffs, they were made of a soft faux leather, they had links on them suited for keeping wrists cuffed or tied up to the bed or, when you felt especially frisky, an arm or leg spreader. You feel shy under his gaze when he comes over to you, his hands are warm sliding under your shirt lifting it over your head. He groans at the sight of your tits said perky in the white and pink lace balconette bra. He begins groping your chest, rubbing your sensitive nips over the thin fabric. You reach out to stroke his cock inside his boxers but hes quick to stop you.
“Tonight’s about you. I’m not stopping until begging me to.” He says while kneeling down to pull your skirt and tights off. He admires how pretty you look in a matching set.
“You’re so beautiful,” He kisses your hip before moving his lips onto your thighs while you stay standing. You move your hand cup his face while he lifts a leg onto his shoulder, he sees the growing wet spot in your panties now, clear as day. He looks up at you smirking before pressing a firm kiss to your pussy just over your panties. He was a tease but god did it feel like ecstasy to have the pressure of his lips right up against where you need him most.
He drops your thigh off his shoulder now standing face to face with you once more, the cuffs are still in hand. Its a wordless question asking to use them on you but you eagerly nod, he plants a kiss to each wrist as he puts them on. He links them together behind your back, going over your safe words opting to use the traffic light safeword system.
“Color?” He asks while placing the lacey white eye mask of your eyes, it was sheer, it only slightly blurred your vision. It was more for your personal comfort to keep your face semi concealed.
“Green.” He made the final adjustments behind your head tying it snuggly your head, while hitting the live button.
You can hear the buzzing of every comment rolling in but can’t clearly see them. Chan positions you to sit in his lap, directly infront of the camera, your back firmly pressed against his chest. He runs his fingertips down your arms, letting them trail to your legs. He uses his knees to push your own apart so your legs are spread open and draped over his own. You throw your head back against his shoulder allowing his hands to massage your thighs, his finger tips just barely brushing against you. You let out a breathy whine when you feel his fingers pushing your panties to the side gathering your wetness on his fingers. He brings a free hand up to rest softly against your thoat leading you to turn your head to the side to feel his lips your own. Desperate to feel him all at once but letting him take it at his pace. You gasp at the feeling of one of his fingers dipping ever so shallowly in and out of your entrance. He grunts at the feeling of you arching your back against when he feels your ass push further into his hard on. He lets you grind into his hand while you share a filthy kiss. Tongues interwined, his straining cock againts you, and drink in every moan that tumbles past you lips.
You grow needier and whiny with every brush of his fingers inside you, he reluctantly removes them to rid you of your panties completeley. He uncuffs your arms from behind you moving to keep them cuffed in front of you so you arent straining your arms for what hes about to do next. Both your bra and panties are discarded into a corner of the room while he lays you on the fluffy pink comforter. Your hair is splayed out against the fabric, you look like an angel while you wait for him to manuever you in place. You had become putty in his hands, allowing him to place you however he wanted on the bed. Your cunt drips onto the bed when he spreads your legs open once more, thats when you feel his breath fanning over you. You wiggle in place but he puts a firm arm against your abdomen to hold you down in place.
You attempt to buck your hips up when you feel him press a kiss to your lips but his iron grip on you keeps you still. A peppers a few kisses across your pussy, it only makes you more whiny with no way to get him to give more with your hands cuffed in front of you. He licks long stripes against you causing you to gasp out his name, his cock twitches in his boxers when he hears you cry out for him. He finally caves give your clit flicking motions of his tongue while his hands reach up to play with your tits. All you can do is cry out plea’s of more and his name, it only encourages to continue his torture on your clit. Your body feels like its vibrating with pleasure, from the way his hand gropes your tit and moving his other to play at your entrance. He pulls your lips wide latching his mouth to your entire cunt creating a rapid suction that has you archong your back off the bed, letting a high pitched whine as you feel your orgasm nearing. He finally adds a finger in thrusting it up against your g spot.
“Cum for me, angel. Make a mess of my face.” He moans against your clit, leaving you shaking. You feel the oh so familiar knot in your stomach. He adds a 2nd finger creating more pressure against that spongey part inside you.
“C-channiee I can’t take it anymore- AH please make me cum.” Your whines and moans are just music to his ears. His tongue is sucking so softly at your clit creating a complete contrast his fingers, you attempt to clamp your thighs around his head but he keeps one firmly down. Your orgams hits you hard. The pressure finally releasing, your skin feels like its tingling, and you cry out ‘fucks’ and ‘oh gods’ it’d make a nun clutch her rosary pearls to her chest.
It isn’t until your cumming down from your high that you realized you had completely squirted all over the bed and Chan. He doesn’t seem to mind one bit but inside he’s overly elated by his abilities. He’s kissing up your still tingling body, when he reaches your neck he whispers in your ear.
“Color?”
“Green, for the love of god, I need your cock inside me right now.” He lets a chuckle out before standing up to fetch a condom from his jeans. His cock is aching to be touched, his atttempts to grind into the bed while eating you out were futile. He’s back on top of you , now free from the restraints of his boxers. He’s perfectly alined with the camera, capturing his size. His cock was not the longest but had a girth that was undeniable. He rolls the condom on looking at the comments pouring in about how big he is, some showing concern for your ability to take him.
“You’ll tell me if it’s too much, alright?” You hum and nod but he’s not satisfied with that. He leans down wrapping a hand around your throat and speaking again. “Words, angel.”
“Yes.”
“Yes what?”
“Yes… sir.” That’s all he needed to get him riled up.
He pushes your thighs up to your chest, before lining himself up. He uses his thumb to circle your clit a bit but you twitch more then he expected, taking note of your sensitivity. Your hands are still cuffed and held up against your chest, although he can’t see much of your eyes, their half lidded until you feel the tip of his cock push into you. You can feel how wide he is, you hadn’t really caught his full size given your dazed state so you were in for a real surprise.
Sheathing half of himself inside, you open your mouth gasping. You can feel everything now, the veins in his cock promenient even through the latex of the condom. A shiver runs down your spine when you feel his hands gripping your thighs as he slowly pulls himself out to to the tip before going back in half way. He watches the way your tits bounce with every movement, your tight wet cunt sucking him in. It takes every ounce of self restraint in him to not completely bottom out in you.
“More p-please, sir.”
“You beg so pretty, keep begging.” It’s all it takes for him to push himself inside you to the hilt, you gasp at the feeling, clenching down on him earning a grunt from him. He hold your knees up to your chest pounding into your pussy.
You feel tears brimming at your eyes from how full you feel, not from pain, its purely pleasure. He’s grunting with every thrust, the sound of your pussy dripping with your exictement, and your moans. You let out a particularly high-pitched moan when he picks up his speed. He’s pussy whipped, your crys, your tight cunt, and your gorgeous tits bouncing with every thrust. He picks you hips up and settles on his knees, maneuvering to let your hips settle in his lap giving perfect access to hammer his cock into you.
“Fuck baby, cum all over my cock, milk this cock baby.” He coaxes you in praise. Your pulling at the restraints trying fondle your own tits while uses you like a cock sleeve.
The feeling of him so deep inside you combined with the sweet sound of his grunts and praises, has your orgasm building up again. He lifts you in the air at this point just holding you by the hips, balls slapping against and your own fluids creating a ring around the base of his cock. He settles back down to rub at your clit and picking up speed once more, his cock brushes agaisnt that spot more buidling your orgasm, pushing you further to your end.
“Cum for me baby, come on you can do it.”
“Chan!”
He’s basking in the feeling of you, he know’s now that his imagination will never live up to this again. His thrusts are slowing but his thumb is circling your clit even more, he lands a smack on your ass that seems to push you over the edge while pushing himself inside you as deep as he can. You clench down hard on his cock, pushing him to his own orgasm. He shallowly fucks into you riding you both out in orgasm. He wants to stay buried in your pussy like this for an eternity. Your both still for a moment trying to catch your breath, he lifts off your chest, grabbing the cuffs to free you from the restraints. He kisses your wrists and massages them gently, the soreness would settle in later. Pulling out of you ever so gently he stands up to turn the camera off.
He walks back over to you to remove the lace from your eyes. Your eyes are glazed over, your in a sub-space and can’t seem to find the words to say it. He doesn’t need you to say it, it’s clear as day to him. He scoops you up into his arms, taking you over to the bathroom.
“You okay? I’m gonna run you bath, okay? You don’t to speak just nod if that’s okay.” You nod to him as he settles you on the toilet, your legs are shaky and sore. He runs the water till its hot, he plugs the tub to let it fill, walking off to your kitchen to find water. He returns with water in hand, he opens the medicine cabinet looking for the pain relievers to get ahead of the inflammation of your muscles that would spread across your body tomorrow.
When the tub is filled to the brim, he settles the two of you inside.Chan finds something to fasten your hair up, its when hes washing your body for you and massaging the muscles in your back, you feel yourself coming back to the present.
“You.. you didnt have to stay for the aftercare…” You say quietly, you voice feels small when you speak.
“I did. It’s my responsibility to make sure your okay. Besides, I needed this just as much as you.” He lets out a soft laugh, kissing your shoulder blade.
Your ex couldn’t even bothered to fetch you a towel after sex, you felt grateful for Chan, even if this would only be a one night stand. After the bath, he wrapped you in a tower bringing you to your other room, he stepped away to grab his own clothes from the room. He noticed the mess left behind and took it upon himself to remove tarnished spreading. He knew the apartment had a washer inside, so he walked over to the hallway closet to find it. He set it to wash and when you reappeared in the doorway of the bedroom, you took notice of his now fully dressed state.
“I don’t want to feel like I’m asking too much but.. Will you stay the night? You totally don’t have to if you don’t want to or if you’re-”
“I’ll stay.” He stops you from rambling further. His presences was warm and comforting, you just wanted to feel someone next to you for a night. You offered him an extra shirt as you often kept larger shirts to sleep in for night time as you often slept in your under and shirts. You dozed off to the sound of his heartbeat with your head on his chest. Chan is setting his phone on the night stand about to doze off himself when he gets a text.
minho: count your fucking days
—
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