#this entire scenario is insane but. i guess im committed

[dennisboobs]

sitting back after writing 3k words of a fic and thinking. what the hell is this

[bookofmirth]

I’m a strong believer..that Lucien deserves better than Elain who didn’t not once consider that he was upstairs in her home asleep before she’d almost made out with Az..I tried to forgive her for it but it’s hard anytime I re read the scene and put myself in Lucien’s shoes..If my LI did that while I was upstairs asleep i’d be thoroughly offended. A part of me hopes Lucien overheard Az and Rhys’ conversation just for him to not be some oblivious weakling desperately awaiting her attention, which all of this is making him look like.

“Her arousal drifted up to him, and his eyes nearly rolled back in his head at the sweet sent. He’d beg on his knees for a chance to taste it. But Azriel just stroked her neck again, Elain shuddered, drifting closer. So close one deep breath would brush her breasts against his chest. she looked up at him, her face trusting and hopefull and open..” At least Feyre didn’t do this under the same roof as Tamlin out of a little respect for him, Im not his fan or anything but that made me admire Feyre for how much she cared about that situation, how guilty and aware she was, how considerate. Elain just…didn’t care. He was right..upstairs.

I get where you are coming from, but I guess I don't really care if she wasn't thinking about him? She was hurting him but I'm not sure that can be avoided, even if it weren't due to the bat. sjm said they'd have tension, right? And she gave us that in acosf.

I think it's pretty complicated, because as a person, Elain doesn't owe Lucien anything. She can be with who she wants, they don't interact very much, they don't know one another very well, she has been mourning her fiancé and her father, etc. Elain can reject the mating bond and go about her life if she wants and no one would stop her.

And all of that is exactly why Lucien has been leaving her alone, except for when he gets awkwardly invited to family holidays and everyone stares at him thinking "oh poor Lucien, oh is that a new Tamlin BruiseTM?"

BUT. As his *mate*, Elain does owe him a conversation. People who scream about this being unfeminist or whatever can shut the heck up because feminism irl doesn't account for ~magical mating bonds~ in which people are literally, irrevocably, magically tied to one another in a way that impacts the rest of their lives and can make one of them insane. You can't talk about consent and what people are owed in this situation in the same way that you can talk about it with any other couple who doesn't have a mating bond. The entire scenario is different, and we can't draw the same lines in a mating bond situation that we can in a regular non-magical ship situation, no matter how much people want to scream and wave their feminist flags around. And I consider myself a feminist, have forever, and that's why I have critiqued the whole idea of mating bonds a ton, because of how they inherently take away that choice. But that's a problem with the trope, not with any ship that adheres to that trope. If people have a problem with mating bonds as a trope, they shouldn't read sjm because they will just be looking to be mad. ANYWAY...

just for him to not be some oblivious weakling desperately awaiting her attention, which all of this is making him look like.

This part I 100% agree with. I get being respectful, and Lucien is doing that, but my god. This is why I think it would be cool if *he* were the one to go to *her* and be like "nah, no thanks". Then Elain's "but I'm pretty and nice" privileges would cease to work and she'd have to like... deal with shit.

I do think there is a big difference between Feyre and Tamlin/Rhys and Elain with Az/Lucien. Feyre and Tamlin were engaged and had verbally (and physically) committed to one another, so they owed each other respect in that sense. Elain and Lucien have no such thing. The thing that's making it so that her actions cause him pain is out of her control.

I would write more but my cat just got in my lap hehe

[ikesenlemonadestandstories]

Level 32

Oh my gosh I didn’t think I was going to ever finish this! My week has been insane! Hope you guys are all doing well, enjoy the update :)

Tagging: @loudartanimeeclipse, @ihavenotfallenyet

Master List Here

Happy Reading Honey Bees! <3

Level 32

It had been a productive couple of weeks, excited over the recent developments you took off for home, hoping Edo would be online. Your research was going well, but you’d managed to have an intelligent conversation with the super cute doctor at work, and you had to tell someone. Sure, Edo was one hundred percent not going to enjoy the gossip, but you were sure he’d listen or at least pretend to.

With your game console turned on, you put in an order for a pizza and made your way to the couch to get comfortable. Not even five minutes had gone by before you got a rush of notifications on your phone, all thanking you for signing up for the partner’s battle tournament that was happening tomorrow. Confused and concerned, you stared at your phone, wondering if there had been a glitch, or worse, someone you were trying to avoid has signed up and listed you as their partner without saying anything.

Crap.

You couldn’t log on faster, the moment the game loaded you dove into your game’s notifications looking for clues on who could have possibly signed you up. Then your controller vibrated off of your lap.

EdoPorcupine5661 → Hope you’re free tomorrow. If not we’ll find a time to destroy my meddling friends… Well that may solve one mystery ← WildCyt0m3try EdoPorcupine5661 → There’s more than one? Yes actually. First question ← WildCyt0m3try What meddling friend do I need to thank with a smack? ← WildCyt0m3try EdoPorcupine5661 → OneEyedDrag0n, turned around for five minutes… Sounds like a wonderfully chaotic friend you’ve got ← WildCyt0m3try EdoPorcupine5661 → That’s one way to put it. Next Question! What were you going to do if I wasn’t free???? ← WildCyt0m3try EdoPorcupine5661 → Forfeit? That would have been the only option….any other questions… What’s our plan? ← WildCyt0m3try

For the better part of three hours, you and Edo put together a strategy that would hopefully cover all your bases. Not that you could predict what every other player was going to do, but you had the advantage of understanding what the major contenders were going to do, which would hopefully give you both a leg up in the tournament. It wasn’t until you had logged off and were crawling into bed that you realized you’d been so concentrated on purchasing new equipment and salves, telling Edo about your week had utterly slipped your mind. Oh well, maybe you’d be able to slip it in tomorrow.

When your alarm went off the next morning, your first thoughts were those of confusion. You didn’t have to go into work, did you? Aggravated, you smacked at your phone until the noise stopped, and you rolled yourself right back over in bed. It wasn’t until your eyes were closed, and you were nearly asleep again that you remembered you had a tournament to attend. Thanking the gods you didn’t have to be anywhere physically, you shot out of bed and ran down the stairs to turn on your console. While you are waiting for the login screen to pop up, you scrounge around your kitchen, looking for anything that would suffice for a decent breakfast. Finally, settling on a comically tall glass of chocolate milk and a bowl of your favorite cereal, you settled onto the couch and readied for battle.

EdoPorcupine5661 → I was beginning to wonder if you’d show. IM NOT THAT LATE OMG! ← WildCyt0m3try EdoPorcupine5661 → Oversleep? Coffee? Boyfriend? First off, good morning to you too sunshine ← WildCyt0m3try Secondly, I’m not late, so even if I did oversleep we’re good ← WildCyt0m3try Third of all. I DON’T HAVE A BOYFRIEND. ← WildCyt0m3try EdoPorcupine5661 → So you asked, and he got mad and ditched? Has anyone ever told you how pessimistic you are? ← WildCyt0m3try EdoPorcupine5661 → All the time. What about it? As long as you know lol ← WildCyt0m3try I’ll have you know, he said he knew we weren’t exclusive. ← WildCyt0m3try Said with how long it took for me to agree even to date he knew better ← WildCyt0m3try Then proceed to decide how much free time I was going to have based on work commitments ← WildCyt0m3try I forgot my chill pills that day so yanno...haven’t spoken to him in a hot minute ← WildCyt0m3try EdoPorcupine5661 → sounds like you What’s that supposed to me? ← WildCyt0m3try EdoPorcupine5661 → That you didn’t deviate from my perceived opinions about your character That literally sounds worse… ← WildCty0m3try EdoPorcupine5661 → It isn’t, I just complimented you Pffff, if you say so ← WildCyt0m3try EdoPorcupine5661 →  I do. Now let’s get ready. Roger that best friend ← WildCyt0m3try EdoPorcupine5661 → Stop No, you deserved that ← WildCyt0m3try Also, I mean it <3 ← WildCyt0m3try Now let’s kick some digital ass! I want that prize!! ← WildCyt0m3try

The tournament bracket was released early that morning. Your first battle wasn’t until round three based on their tiering system, and for that, you were grateful. Sure Edo had already come up with a pretty solid plan, but it was nice to see who you could potentially be facing. Fortunately, you knew OneEyedDrag0n wasn’t participating today, so you didn’t have to worry about being surprised by a wayward ax again. The plan was to trick people into being overly confident for as long as possible since Bow Knight and a Pegasis Knight didn’t look like a problematic duo to overcome. That’s why this was going to be fun.

After hours of competition, it boiled down to the final round. You weren’t sure if you were excited or terrified of this. Everything had gone according to plan; you had managed to keep the extensive and unexpected arsenal of weapons and magic hidden just long enough to get you through the less challenging rounds. If everything went the way you had expected it to, the two would be facing off against Kenshin and Sasuke, a formidable duo.

EdoPorcupine5661 → Ready? I think so? ← WildCyt0m3try EdoPorcupine5661 → Not good enough, you’re either ready, or you’re not. I’m ready then ← WildCyt0m3try EdoPorcupine5661 → Good

When the controller vibrated, signaling the start of the battle, you sucked in a breath. Part of the tournament was about getting around the map and collecting specific items. Navigating the map was easy enough with Edo a mounted unit and yourself a flier, but you didn’t want to get too cocky. Sasuke had picked up the lockpicking skill in his previous class, meaning he’d take any treasure he could get to without fail or need for a key, and Kensin’s unit had enough brute strength if your dexterity faltered once you were a goner.

The idea was to split up and take any treasure in your immediate area, once those were in hand the both of you would mount a generally weak attack on Kenshin. Sasuke would hopefully round back after completing the collection mission, which is when Edo planned to break off and corner him—leaving you to deal with Kenshin by yourself until Edo could take out Sasuke. The entire plan hinged on Sasuke being sent to open all the treasure chests and Kenshin being too excited to fight either of you.

Fortunately, it seemed to be working. Your fingers furiously tapped at buttons, trying to will the game into cooperating with your skillful button mash. It didn’t have to be pretty right now; it just had to be a useful distraction. When Kenshin finally landed a hit, you sucked in a breath; quickly, you ran the scenario. You were stuck between healing yourself or bet on your stats and take another crack at Kenshin.

Decision made, you closed your eyes and held your breath, hoping your lance would activate its ability. You didn’t want to look, having decided you’d keep your eyes closed until the next turn you waited. It wasn’t until your phone started vibrating off the hook you thought to look around. Kenshin’s avatar was no longer visible on your screen, and the more you looked, the more you realized that nobody’s stats were available anymore.

Oh gods, had your wifi crashed in the middle of the tournament? Panic rose in your chest, but it was shut down quickly when WINNER flashed across the screen in bold. What? That couldn’t be, right?

EdoPorcupine5661 → Well done Thanks? I honestly don’t know what happened though ← WildCyt0m3try EdoPorcupine5661 → I hit him with a long-range bow skill, and you delivered a critical hit Oh, really? ← WildCyt0m3try EdoPorcupine5661 → Don’t believe me? Not really. ← WildCyt0m3try I’m convinced this is a fever dream ← WildCyt0m3try EdoPorcupine5661 → Who’s the pessimist now? Still you ← WildCyt0m3try It will always be you lol ← WildCty0m3try EdoPorcupine5661 → Whatever EdoPorcupine5661 → Don’t forget to accept the prize money I wont ← WildCyt0m3try This was fun. It’s been a good week ← WildCyt0m3ty EdoPorcupine5661 → I guess it has EdoPorcupine5661 → I’m getting off now Same, enjoy your evening! ← WildCyt0m3try Eat something fun to celebrate :) ← WildCyt0m3try EdoPorcupine5661 → Sure EdoPorcupine5661 → you too I guess…. Awe, you do care!! ← WildCyt0m3try EdoPorcupine5661 → Whatever

[survivorcordillerablanca]

Episode 8 Confessionals

This is long overdue but I've been busy because my brother got married woooo! Okay so FINALLY WE MERGED! Jordan and I survived the hell tribe and we made it here. We had to lose Jay which absolutely sucks, I feel terrible for voting him out but I did what I think was the right thing. The biggest piece of news is that I was literally on the merge tribe for like 10 minutes and ended up FINDING THE IMMUNITY IDOL!! I WAS SO SHOCKED I COULDN'T BELIEVE IT!! I haven't told anybody about it but I might....MIGHT....tell Jordan about it to show that I do trust him after wavering so much on my decision about potentially voting him out. We have an auction coming up, I hope I get something really cool from it! Bryce told me that he was the one that gave me the idol but Zach told me that he was the one that pushed for him to give it to me so I'm thankful to the both of them for that. I think I could get good with Carson, Zach, Bryce and Charlotte. Katie and I have bonded over our love of true crime, she's super nice and her connection to Jordan Pines is incredibly strong so we can do this. I believe that Copa isn't dead just yet. 

finally got into an alliance with charlotte and chris

i bid well at the auction and got a nifty apple that lets me sit out for a round #blessed

Finding out someone I want to work with is an Amy Schumer fan.... maybe shouldn't work with them :/. Jk!! But am I even DKSFJSD

zack just sent me this message "and im in kuang si (it’s a main season, if you know what those are) asdjfk" I dont know how to respond to that

Merge sweet merge! Okay so I'm officiallly in an alliance with Katie and Charlotte. We're the Senior Citizens. Katie is playing up to Jordan that she doesn't have any allies in hopes of him telling her any potential people from Ulta who might flip. Meanwhile I have to PUBLICLY pick 3 people to go to the wishing well with me. Obviously taking the Senior Citizens, but I then decided on Bryce because he was the only person not mention by Jordan as someone he thinks he's working with. Immunity just happened and as of right now I feel content with my score but some people are insane and will destroy me. I really hope I win because I feel like I'll get cut as soon as the opportunity arises.

me two days ago: I should probably try to be less hostile towards JP. me today: DISADVANTAGE GOES TO JP. i'd say i'm sorry but that would be a lie.

am i up to date on confessionals 

hope i dont go home probably should have used my advantage 

We merged!!! and im stressed as hell. i have NO idea what im doing. chris won this wishing well thing in the auction and took katie, charlotte, and bryce. so it set off alarms to me and zach so we're working on the me/willow/zach thing we were planning on before, we just have mroe of a reason now. the plan is: vote jordan pines this first round (even though hes trying to talk strategy with me and if eel bad bc i told charlotte to use the disadvantage on him) recruit luke and katie and vote chris out at final 8 and thats our plan so far bc... its hard to plan things in survivor! yeah i have no idea i hate the merge especialyl when i know where NO ONE sits

Whose got two thumbs and flopped at immunity? THIS GUY. But it's all good. We have two clear outsiders in the form of luke and Jordan. I feel bad because I genuinely like luke. I'm hoping we can get rid of Jordan and then I can swoop up precious baby luke to use him to get some of the ulta's I'm not close with out. For now, me, Katie, Carson, and charlotte are going for Jordan unless something drastic happens. 

I'm tired and I've been essentially goating myself this game yikes 

So at this point, it's the morning of the first merge tribal. Exciting? Yes! Nerve-wracking? Yes! Willow won immunity. I lowkey was going to force a tie because I know any intellectual could get 5 at most (Willow's smart, so I just expected it) then her comp adv. of -2 would ensure her a win since 3 is theoretically impossible. SHE GOT TWO! Good on her though! I overall chose not to snatch her score because I felt really bad, and it was with someone whom I potentially was going to work it or would work with. Speaking of, Willow, Carson and I formed a trio alliance. We both comprehend that the two Copa need to go soon. I think it'll be Jordan Pines this vote. However, a) I don't want Luke to go JUST yet, as we can utilize him, and b) the votes might flip and ADIOS me! I also have worrying speculation of an alliance including the newbies. This is purely because of whom Chris decided to take on his little... trip to the wishing well. It's just a little suspicious, considering Carson admitted to me he talks to Chris relatively every other day, so it was shocking. Nonetheless, it's a game decision, doesn't matter much.. My game plan from this point forward is to just try to be fairly more social. I've been talking to Chris and Katie a lil more. I'm on relatively good terms with Luke. Carson and I are best buddies. Willow is a LEGEND! - then we have Bryce, a king who I don't talk to much but is iconic. Charlotte, a literal icon. Jordan Pines! (that name along speaks for itself). It's going, I guess. We'll see ^-^

So I finally found the wishing well thing and I completed my task yay!! I can now see who votes who for one tribal but idk when im gonna use it tbh. I think I'll tell carson about it b/c hes my number 1. But for this vote i'm hoping itll be easy and be one of jordan/luke just gotta talk to the other ulta people.

Okay so I think its just gonna be the easy vote of Jordan? Hope its not too easy and im not too complacent

Here's the thing. Anyone who has ever played with me before, or knows me, knows that I pretty much play the same game. I stick with my alliance and only turn on them when I need to ... I'm not one for cannibalizing the alliance too early. But ... I'm bored. Everyone's quiet, no one's exciting me, and I really just want to watch the world burn. Do I like Jordan? Eh. Will he make the season more exciting? Absolutely. If I can convince Katie and Carson, or maybe Zach, to vote for Jordan ... the game will flip upside down.  I'm here for a little Chaos. 

is Jordan gonna die tonight? the answer probs wont surprise you as YES. AHHHHH. IM GOING HOME FUCK FUCK FUCK ME, FUCK YOU RYAN TEDDY PALMER. I am trying to save myself but i may be all out of lives.

I'm watching Shookstralian Survivor and writing a confessional, I hear this episode is iconic so I'm preparing! Michelle is winning btw! Okay so back to Cordillera Blanca...I didn't win immunity...Jordan didn't win immunity which means that both of us are vulnerable at tribal and one of us could potentially be going home tonight which is worst case scenario. As of now I think the votes are going to Jordan and I would be open to playing my idol on him but I would need to be 100% certain that I'm not getting votes because I DO NOT want to idol myself out. If I lose Jordan this round I do still have my Golden Monkey Idol to fall back on at the next tribal council so hopefully that work out in my favour. Right now Jordan and I are trying to pull in Charlotte, Katie and Zach to make a majority of 5 so that we can take over this tribe. Stay tuned...;) 

Did Jordan just save himself? MAYBE?????? If all goes according to plan,  me zach luke, charlotte and carson will vote for chris and blindside him 5-4. So #letsnotkilljordanpines

Omg so I have a randomized vote this round which really sucks but I sent in a fake vote so if people ask I can hopefully trick them also I'm shook I won immunity with4 guesses

So... charlotte wants to flip and zach does too which.. i gues?? djksd we with jordan andl uke.. a VERY tight duo pretty much, and its gonna be hard to break that, so we cant let them get far. but getting chris out right now?? idk if its right. im still a bit bitter over him not taking me to the wishing well [3:59:22 PM] Jordan Pines: same here <3 [4:00:34 PM] carson: (y) if i hear anything i tell u but just know I'm down with u lukle charlotte and zach [4:00:46 PM] Jordan Pines: same here <3 also jordan sent the same message to me twice which.. kinda shady but like i hope its not anything bad?? if he rats us out i dont think im the biggest target but like.. ya never know in this game. also idk if my social game is good bad or whatever, buti m hoping its good and it can propel me to a victory?? zach keeps saying hes my lapdog andj ust.. uh i dont want that i want to be equal allies. whatevs?? idk. also willow's vote is apparently randomized from what zach said and charrlote found where the iodl was hidden but it waas found so someone else has it... so idk. IDK i feel like flipping on the entire tribe and doing 5-4 the first vote is soooo risky. im thinking that me/zach can tell willow we're voting chris even though her vote is randomzied so she cant rlly do anything?? she doesnt talk  a lot of strategy because she takes awhile to respond but she's cool and id definitely say i trust her more than most people here. like bryce, i cant read him or chris. katie's cool but i feel like shes a bit fake to me like saying how much she trusts me when we dont talk that much?? and charlotte/jordan/luke just give weird vibes idk. only person i trust 100% is zach ig uess because we talk 24/7 and hes cool. hope this vote can go as planned, and im still kinda having cold feet, but like... i dont wanna lose jury votes so i either commit or go home.

hi can i have an episode title i came up with someone very clever here it goes: Why are all my tribe mates children like hey whats up welcome to lord of the fucking flies.

So this vote for the longest time was going to be Jordan. I was going to stick with it, but knowing me, I don't like boring games and it'd be predictable to do that. Charlotte came to me about voting out Chris. Not that directly, I guess, but mentioned flipping. I was down for it, but I wanted to talk to Carson. LUCKILY, she wanted to include Carson to, so we made an alliance ^-^ I believe right now the vote is sailing for Chris. I feel bad but it's the game, and you gotta do what you gotta do. No hard feelings. The game is tough. WHY DO I PUT MYSELF THROUGH THIS ALL THE TIME ARGHGH