#i think i feel better like this go be honest with you. the connections feel stronger and i feel closer to the friends ive made
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Hi hi how are you?
I’m really interested knowing more about Azrael!
I saw an Ask that Azrael has more connection with Leander! Can I know what perked his interest to Leander? Also what are Azrael thoughts on the remaining Cast members too? ❤️ thank you 🫶
Hi hi!! IM FELLING GOOD!!! 2 Anonymous people sent similar questions so I decided to answer with a long post.
The Truth is that Azrael is my MC, but he is still his own character. I made him free to go and enjoy all the routes if he wanted to because I like all the characters in the game hehe.
What makes Azrael interested in Leander is the feeling of that something isn't right, a fight of manipulation that attracts him. It seems like a fun route to take with Azrael. After the update on the Demo, things seem a bit different 😈
So, Azrael will be like a classic MC, I intend to show his interactions with all the characters in a way 😆... For this I wanted to show his thoughts on the characters! I Also made some drawings for this... Maybe I could do a part 2 later to show more of characters that didn't showed up that much (I was busy to draw a lot so I rushed everything 😭)
Azzy ended up fitting as an Asexual character, which was a surprise to me while building the character, I'm also an Ace person, so I thought it would be cool to explore stories to show that Ace people still can be in a romance! It's interesting thing that he is Pansexual and Asexual.
KURAS (Unified health system: SUS)
To Kuras: "I wondered if others also noticed that he is the most suspicious! The doctor doesn't seem honest, no one is that kind. But I'm still grateful to him anyway, even if I still don't understand his gossiping tactics."
LEANDER (No more Alejandro)
To Leander: "A little dramatic for his own good, Leander is immune to my touch and to me it shouldn't have happened. He seems to know things he shouldn't and I should end it but I can't, I feel like I'm going to enjoy this... He It's not the only danger, I just won't let him know"
VERE (Favorite Fox)
To Vere: "Has sharp tongue and a good face, Vere deserves compliment for sure but wouldn't wave my trust! I'm sure he tried to kill me and i don't need more foxes around, there's enough chaos chasing me."
AIS (Jack Sparrow arc)
To Ais: "He tests my patience and I just return it in kind and I hate how I still have respect for him, the most intriguing part is his presence, I must say that the additional soulless around him make a difference."
MHIN (Kitty danger)
To Mhin: "What a puzzle of person, so hard to read, should I confess they're kind of cute? Mhin has a somewhat tempting indifference, knowledge and power... but it's for the best to let untouched what is hidden."
EXTRA + Creator's comments
The first kiss drawn for Azrael was with Vere!! Thank you so much for all the bets sksksks For Azzy this type of act is not a necessity but not bad either, he understands it as something that is desired and if it would make the other person happy he can grant a wish 😘
Kuras saw Azzy in a vulnerable state and charged information! So he found kuras a bit gossipy, but as kuras also gave him good clothes he accepting. Notes: he is stressed because he didn't wanted to be saved by others.
Azrael was interested in Leander's ways but knows it's better to keep alert and distance himself. Leander also touched on sensitive topics for Azrael, so azzy thinks about getting revenge somehow... I think he is hiding feelings guys skdkdj
He liked Vere's vibe, but Azrael's problems with his fox master make him run away just from seeing him. However, I'm sure he really does have a crush.
Azrael thought he could intimidate Ais, but currently Azzy is pretty much weak. Seeing how Ais treats the soulless, Azrael felt respect and then realized that they are in a similar situation in some ways. ("Respect= To like")
Azzy thinks Mhin is like a cat, the thought is basic but it affects his brain. Despite everything, he prefers to keep his distance despite unconsciously seeking approval.
#AZrkive#touchstarved game#talkingKEY#touchstarved leander#touchstarved mhin#touchstarved oc#touchstarved vere#touchstarved kuras#touchstarved ais#touchstarved
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Traitors & Lovers (Hero & Villain) part 12
Warnings: forced medical care, drugging, villain restrained to a bed, vivid/fairly detailed descriptions of wounds being stitched up, aftermath of failed escape attempt
"I hate you," she whispered, her voice fading as the sedatives took hold.
"...I know," was all Hero murmured in answer.
And then Villain finally slipped under.
-------------------------------------------------------
Villain groggily woke up to find her wrists wrapped tightly together with long strips of fabric and restrained above her head on the bed, attached to the headboard.
Her heart sank with dread, and a trickle of honest fear pricked the back of her neck when she glanced down to find Hero standing next to the bed, leaning over her and wearing sterile medical gloves.
There were piles of blood-soaked gauze in metal trays resting on the bed as well around her body, and it looked like Hero was fixing the stitches she'd popped during her earlier escape attempt. He was holding a needle clamped between medical pliers in one hand, and manipulating surgical thread with the other.
But Villain realized with a start that her legs weren't tied up like her wrists were, and her whole body stiffened, mind racing for a way to leverage that.
"Don't even think about it," Hero growled without even looking up at her. "If you kick me while I'm working, you'll make things a lot worse for yourself. I could tie your legs down too if you insist, but having them free is easier for me to work with.”
Villain scowled darkly, but could see the logic in his words. So she pursed her lips and held her tongue, letting herself go limp.
She twitched as he carefully stitched her wounds up, watching with wide eyes as he brought the needle to her skin repeatedly with skilled hands.
It was a strange sensation, of the needle and thread sliding effortlessly through her flesh -- because there was no pain, and she knew Hero must have been heavy-handed with the painkillers he used on her. But the gross feeling of the needle gliding through her was enough to make her want to squirm and get away.
It took every ounce of willpower she could muster to hold still, aside from the rapid rise and fall of her chest with increasingly panicked breaths.
She hated that Hero was right -- if she struggled or kicked right now, it could make him mess up and cause her further injury. So she forced herself to swallow her pride and anger and let Hero work on her, barely tolerating it.
She kept her eyes averted, refusing to look at Hero and focusing on the sound of her own heartbeat in her ears to ground herself. A welcome distraction from reality.
It was easy to dissociate like this, to get lost in her thoughts and not come back. It was better than facing the turmoil of emotions ripping her apart inside, the invisible wounds resurfacing, triggered by Hero's presence. All the awful memories she'd worked so hard to bury and forget. She still remembered how tenderly Hero used to handle her, how gentle he always was despite his superstrength. How loving he'd been.
Thinking about it only made the wound hurt worse. Villain had been blinded by desperate love back then, ignoring all the warning signs because she craved human connection so badly. Being a villain was a lonely, lonely existence, and Hero had filled that hole.
Until he hadn't. And Villain's eyes had been opened to the horrible truth -- that he was a traitor.
The betrayal itself didn't hurt nearly as much as the knowledge that Hero had never cared did. That everything between him and Villain had been lies.
"I'm done," Hero announced quietly, drawing Villain's mind back to the present.
Villain blinked, watching as Hero cleaned up the mess of scattered medical tools and bloodied bandages. Fresh bandages now covered the new stitches on her torso and legs.
Once Hero was done he walked to the bed again and flicked open a pocket knife, reaching it toward the fabric binding Villain's wrists to the headboard, before hesitating. "If I cut you free will you run or try to fight me again?"
Villain shook her head with a grimace. She knew better than to try and escape now that her wounds had been torn open again. It would be pointless to attempt until she healed up more and her body could handle it.
Hero slashed through the fabric restraining her, untangling it from around her wrists and letting her bring her arms down to lay next to her sides.
Villain winced at how her shoulder muscles ached from being strained in the awkward position. Not even the painkillers were enough to dull that -- the discomfort went bone-deep.
She couldn't help glancing sideways at the window she'd tried to jump out of before, and groaned inwardly upon finding it completely boarded up, thoroughly secured in a way she knew meant getting out that way would be impossible.
⏪️ Back Next ⏩️
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on my quest to find more books to read this year, there's been something kind of heartwarming to see that of the books on hold at my local library, or on the weekly bestseller's list at my local bookstores, there's always at least one book up there that's about Palestine. It's at least nice to see that some people in my area want to learn about the historical context of what's happening now, and learn far more than what a few posts on their feed can tell them. It makes me hope that public perception will continue to change for the better - and that the kind of support I've seen in my area won't die down immediately after a ceasefire is called
#storyrambles#palestine#i'm always hesitant to make any posts about palestine given my lack of personal connection or deep knowledge beyond the#continuous reading i've been doing#but idk. i wondered if this might be nice to see for people who do have a connection and feel discouraged.#and well. i don't think there needs to be a personal connection for one to feel happiness in this sort of situation#it needs to be so much better than it is currently. but i'll be honest#i really thought these protests were going to peter out very quickly after they started. that people would say 'it's a shame'#but not act. i've seen the same thing from previous outrage.#and i think that's because outrage doesn't carry as long or as strong as knowledge does.#eh i'm rambling again. i guess it's just nice to see people caring. even when the people who should speak for us civilians do not.#it's a mixed bag of emotions.#all my love to everyone affected by this. i wish you didn't have to be as strong as you are.#but for as long as you have to. i'd like to stand strong with you. and i hope that's enough to see real change.#ceasefire now
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AN HONEST MISTAKE
Joel Miller x f!reader
summary: swiping left and right on tinder, you think you match with Joel Miller, a handsome single dad in his late 30s. Feeling enamored and horny you decide to meet in person, only to be met with an almost completely different person. warnings: darkfic, dub-con eliments due to alcohol intoxication, gaslighting, very big age gap [Joel is 61], switching POVs, explicit sexual content. Some tags are not added to avoid spoilers, dm me if you need the full list. reader description: afab she/her, has hair long enough to be pulled; has boobs and ass; reader mid to late 20s-early 30s. word count: 6,2k
a/n: thank you for all of the excitement and interest you'd shown to this idea, i have been working on it for some time and i'm finally happy to show you part one. huge thanks to @arcanefox207 , Ally helped me to polish this chapter and shown me a lot of support which i truly appreciate <3 READ ON AO3
MASTERLIST | part 2
Dating wasn’t fun. It always felt like an inescapable chore for you, and you tried to avoid it at all costs. Hiding your face in your morning cup of tea when attacked by your mom’s questions, her voice distorted by poor video connection. Joking only to avoid the topic of boyfriends and girlfriends when your friend kept nagging you about it. Losing yourself in an unsatisfactory myriad of hands that belonged to faceless people when the nights got too cold for empty sheets.
You looked at your table, a small hand-made sign read “do better” in your own handwriting. And that was exactly what you were going to do. You were going to kill not two, but three birds with one stone, and that stone was going to be going on a date. A real, proper date, with excruciatingly predictable questions and awkward first touches. And you were going to have fun.
On the fourth hour of swiping Tinder, you were a breath away from ghosting everyone you knew and hiding in the Peruvian Amazonia for the rest of your life. The few conversations that you managed to have quickly died out when the person you talked to learned what you were there for. A month ago you’d find a pretty face and invite them over to smoke and have some fun, but that wasn’t a great start for an actual relationship. No, your fuckgirl days were over, so you went back to swiping.
And that was when you saw him.
Joel M., 39 Southern gentleman with a beautiful daughter. Work in construction, so I can build you a house. I am looking for a real connection, please, respect that.
God, he was handsome. Your mouth started salivating as you swiped through his pictures. He was broad, tall and had a tool in his hand. Not the one you immediately started wondering about, but it looked like at least he didn’t lie in his description. Feeling like a complete creep, you screenshotted his profile. If you weren’t a match, at least you’d have someone pretty to think about before going to bed tonight.
Gently, as if afraid, you swiped right. Your screen lit up, and so did your face, you gave a wide grin to your phone. “It’s a match!”
He was too good to be true. A gentleman, he didn’t lie there. Joel gave you the exact amount of attention to make you run towards your phone whenever it rang. It was definitely nothing like you expected. He was attentive, remembering what you said and when, never shied away from your questions, and on top of that he was devastatingly hot.
You heard a blip of a new message and unlocked your phone, a smile already plastered on your face like a Pavlovian reaction.
[Joel M.]: I was thinking, we seem to have a nice connection here, don’t we? [You]: I think so, too. A little unbelievable, but I am feeling hopeful. [Joel M.]: Unbelievable how?[You]: Unbelievable that no one snatched you up earlier. From where I am sitting, you look like a full package. [Joel M.]: Well, you’re sitting awfully far away, so I see how it looks like that. Why don’t we meet in person and find out if you still think the same, darlin? [You]: Joel, are you inviting me on a date? [Joel M.]: Only if you’re accepting. How about a dinner at my place? I am a pretty decent cook.
Your hand hovered above the screen. It wasn’t smart, going to a man’s place for your first date. He could be a creep, he could be a murderer… But then again, you could never brag about your self preservation instincts, sometimes you just thought with a little kitty purring between your legs.
You tapped on his profile again, looking at the zoomed in picture of his face. His brown eyes looked sad, but kind. A half-smile tugged on his soft-looking lips. Just a few sprinkles of salt and pepper in his hair. Even if he turned out to be a creep, you’d never had such a handsome lay before, and you were planning to check all of his tools as soon as you could, you thought to yourself before typing your reply.
[You]: I’d love that. Send me the address?
You weren’t worried, not really. You never struggled with too low of self-esteem. You knew your strong suits, and you wore them like armor. The upcoming date sent a pleasant shiver down your back, anticipation made you giggle into the void of your lonely apartment. The closer the day came, the giddier you became.
So on the fateful night you had enough confidence to pick out the dress that was a bit uncomfortable but looked gorgeous on your body. You smacked some lipstick that complemented the shade of your skin, grabbed a small purse and a bottle of wine and winked at your reflection in the mirror. You looked good, you felt even better.
August kept tricking you with its weather, the days still suffocated you with heat while the nights were unpleasantly chilly. You hugged your naked shoulders and rubbed your skin in an attempt to warm up as you waited for your Uber to arrive.
You got inside the white Honda Civic, the smell of cigarettes unpleasantly soaked into the seats so you opened up the window praying that it wouldn’t stink up your dress. The driver acknowledged you with a small grunt and a nod, you did the same, not willing to start a conversation. The estimated forty minutes dragged out and became an hour in the man’s GPS, of course you got stuck in traffic it was just your luck. And on your way to a literal dream man, no less.
Your kitten heel kept tapping on the car floor, the annoyed-looking driver gave you a stern look in the rear view mirror that you completely ignored. You needed to warn Joel that you were going to be late, and it made you want to grind your teeth. You hated being late, be that a party, a dentist appointment or a walk in the park with a friend. It made you feel guilty, leaving your palms sticky with cold sweat. You clearly weren’t going to make a good first impression, and with the way you chewed your lip bloody, you might not even get a kiss. You looked at the picture of him you shamelessly saved to your camera roll. Out of the two of you, you were definitely winning the creep competition, while he was just a dream come true.
You zoomed in on his face, your thumb caressed the pixels of his skin. There were smile lines around his lips, and you wondered what made him laugh so hard throughout his life that the remnants of the gesture permanently cut themself into his skin. Joel’s eyes were gleaming with youthful mischief, something you’d thought a person loses after having a child, but he clearly proved you wrong. Sun made his brown look like amber, adding to the overall handsomeness of the man. You imagined yourself next to him – yes, it was way too early, but you couldn’t keep your mind from wandering – he’d be taller, bigger than you, his strong hand on your lower back as you walk through the city. The eyes of men and women hungry to have what’s yours, but he’d only look at you. Yes, he was a bit older, but still young enough to have you on his arm without dealing with accusatory stares and venomous whispers behind your back.
A loud honking from the car behind you made you jump in your seat. The line of cars finally started moving and it brought a sense of relief to you. You had 20 more minutes, maybe you were still going to make it.
The sound of your heels kissing the pavement echoed like gunfire through the neighborhood. When your taxi left you at the needed address, you looked around. It wasn’t too late, the small houses still looked alive with yellow lights and muffled voices. You took a deep breath, straightened your back and looked in front of yourself, examining the location.
From the outside, Joel’s house looked nice. Nothing too fancy, the white paint a bit chapped, but the porch looked recently freshened up. A sturdy looking rocking chair covered with a blanket and a pillow gave the place a cozy feeling. His lawn was perfectly trimmed, and you imagined watching him mow it from that same porch with an iced tea in your hand. He’d be sweaty and shirtless, you’d drag him inside to fuck before he finished even a third of the territory. You clenched your thighs, a small pool of wetness gathering in your thongs. You better keep that thought away or you’d jump the poor man’s bones before he had the chance to say hello.
You checked your phone, 8:27 PM. Not too late, even acceptable in some countries, you tried to cheer yourself on. You hoped he wasn’t as insane about being late as you were or here went your first date in years. Gently, you tapped on the wooden door, the sound of someone approaching from the other side made you squeeze the bottle neck harder.
When the door flew open, you stretched out the hand holding the wine and fired out an apology in the most comical way you could, your eyes tightly shut.
“I’m so sorry I’m late, the traffic was horrendous. I promise I am usually never late, ever.” When no reply followed, you opened your eyes, a smile still tugging on your lips as you took in the man in front of you. It was both Joel and not. With your hand still outstretched, your mouth dropped with a hundred different questions, but you only managed to ask one. “Joel?”
“Hello, darlin’.”
“Is this some kind of a joke? Are you his dad or something?”
The man in front of you was not in his late thirties, hell, he wasn’t even in his late forties! The Joel that was staring at you looked pretty old, mid-fifties at least, you thought to yourself. His hair was mostly salt, no pepper in sight. It was inches longer than in the picture, soft-looking, it curled at the bottom. He was as tall and broad as you imagined, and it did give a little pang to your core that you quickly shut off. His face was ridden in wrinkles, prominent crows feet near his eyes that were still sad, still brown. You had half a thought to turn around and order yourself an Uber home, but the bewildered look on his face made you stop where you were.
“Darlin’, I know what’s going through your head right now, because I promise I didn’t expect you to be this young either! It must’ve been Sarah, my baby girl. She set up this thing, said she was tired of seeing her old man sad an’ miserable. Guess she didn’t think I was mighty attractive anymore.” He says with a self-deprecating chuckle. “She just straight up told me today that a nice woman would come over for a dinner, said she’d be here too, and if I loved her I had better prepared my nicest shirt an’ all. Christ, what was that girl thinking?”
You caught yourself feeling bad for the man, your heart clenching. He was still definitely handsome. His stomach was slightly more prominent and his was shirt hugging him tightly in the middle. His hand that tucked a little white strand of hair behind his ear matched his face in little sun spots, skin that had been kissed by the burning star for longer than you’d been alive. But he still got it, in a silver fox kind of way. Poor man, put into such an embarrassing situation by his own daughter. Being willingly childfree had never looked more appealing to you.
“You came all the way here just to be disappointed, I can’t tell you how-“
“I’m not disappointed,” you interrupted him quickly and stepped forward, an unknown force drove your hand to squeeze his forearm in a reassuring gesture. His eyes dropped when your manicured nails dug into his ironed flannel. “Just surprised, but that’s not a bad thing. We both unknowingly catfished each other.”
“Catfish? Ain’t that a type of fish?”
“No,” you laughed lightheartedly, the man was adorable. The cold breeze picked up, and you were reminded that you were still on the porch, if any neighbors were out they were definitely getting a fresh batch of gossip to discuss before sleep. “It’s when you… You know what, no matter, it’s not important.”
Joel looked hesitant, his jaw ticked and you noticed him look you up and down before swallowing hard. Was he blushing?
“I want to make it up to you before you go. I made us a nice dinner when I thought you were umm… age appropriate,” Joel tightened his lips and gave you an apologetic smile. “It ain’t catfish, just a steak, but I swear on my mama, it’s good.”
Before you could respond, your stomach growled making the decision for you. Your hand jumped to it, fisting the material of your dress as if trying to silence the embarrassing sound.
“Well, I don’t see any harm in that,” you smiled, accepting Joel’s invitation. The man looked harmless and you didn’t want to leave him sad and miserable, it seemed like he felt guilty enough. “It was quite a long drive.” Maybe it all could become a funny story you both would tell your friends. Separately.
He stepped aside and you waltzed inside his house. It was big enough to still be cozy without making you feel trapped. The warm light made everything look safe and homey, hardwood floor creaked gently under your footsteps. The door lock clicked behind you and you turned around.
Joel was looking at you, a more confident smile now stretching his lips. The soft lighting took a few years off his face, and once again you noted that the man aged like a fine wine. That reminded you of the bottle you were still tightly gripping in your hand, and you stretched it out to Joel for the second time that night. He accepted with a muttered ‘thank you’.
“Feel at home, sweetheart, I’ll just grab something real quick.” Joel pointed towards his kitchen, the space was open, luring you in with a mouth-watering smell.
You felt awkward walking around a stranger’s house, but followed his instructions.
You didn’t see the way his eyes lingered on the exposed skin of the back of your thighs, his tongue flicking over his lower lip in anticipation.
He disappeared further into the hallway, and you made your way towards the dining table.
Alone, you took the opportunity to study the place you were allowed in. Unfortunately, it wasn’t very unique, or maybe you were just a shitty detective. Joel’s kitchen that spilled out into a dining room was disappointingly ordinary. Walls painted a soft yellow; polished doors of wooden cupboards and kitchen cabinets that looked old but taken care of; a four-person dining table that was now set with a few plates, simple utensils, napkins and wine glasses. You narrowed your eyes trying to see the pictures that were stuck to the fridge with small butterfly magnets. Your long ride and empty stomach must’ve taken a toll on your eyesight so you could barely make out Joel in those. There was a picture of him with another man, and… You leaned over the table as if trying to get closer, to see better.
“You know, you can just come closer to the fridge.” Joel’s chuckle made you jump in your seat.
“Sorry, I was just,” the right explanation failed you, and you surrendered. “I was just being nosy.”
“Didn’t catch you going through my drawers, so no harm. Can’t really snoop if it’s out there to see, right?” Joel set the opened bottle of the wine you’d brought on the table and waved a bottle opener in his right hand. “Haven’t had wine in some time so had to go look for this guy,” he explained.
“Whatever you made, it smells delicious,” you smiled at him. The sucking feeling in your stomach became uncomfortable, and you cursed at yourself internally for skipping lunch.
“Well then, let’s get some of it in you, shall we?”
Joel seemed way more relaxed, maybe your agreement to spend time with him made him feel less guilty for his daughter’s actions; or maybe it was the confidence of being a host. Either way, it looked good on him.
You didn’t stop your eye from wandering over his frame while he looked away, putting food on your plates. His dark green shirt was snug around his broad shoulders, the soft-looking material translated the feeling of warmth and comfort you lacked in your dress. He had blue jeans on, and you felt your cheeks heat up when you noticed a firm ass hidden behind the rough fabric. Your hand left the table, and you tugged at your bottom lip absent-mindlessly. What was twenty more years? He turned around and since your eyes hadn't moved, you were now shamelessly staring at his crotch. The jeans did not hide much.
You snapped your face up immediately at Joel’s quiet cough. There was a barely hidden smirk on his face, so you decided that no harm was done. So what if you gave the man a quiet compliment? You’d been doing that for the last two weeks, even though apparently his daughter was the one responding to them. You could spare some flirting for the poor guy, he looked like he enjoyed a bit of your harmless attention.
He didn’t lie, he was a decent cook. The meat melted on your tongue and the wine you brought complimented it nicely. You didn’t notice the way your glass was always full, Joel’s stories from the past kept you too entranced.
Heat was creeping up your chest, settling in your cheeks and you moved the wine glass away. You could tolerate a full bottle without being visibly affected, not your proudest trick but it was what it was. Yet, now you felt like you’d emptied at least a couple of bottles on an empty stomach, even though the bottle on the table proved otherwise. You felt dizzy, but not in a bad way, just more relaxed than you were planning to be. Joel looked more handsome every minute, his syrupy thick voice lulled you into a trance-like headspace.
“Can’t lie, you look mighty pretty, darlin’. Had I been thirty years younger it’d be hard to keep my hands to myself.”
Wine dimmed your instincts, so you just giggled. Joel’s eyes darkened as he tripped his gaze from your face to your bust, your breasts straining against the silk fabric of your dress. You noticed him looking and cleared your throat, tits jiggling slightly.
“Forgive an old man, sweetheart?” There was nothing sorry about his tone, but it slipped your mind completely, your guard almost all the way down. “As I said, haven't had a pretty thing like you here in ages.”
You tried to study his face, your brain foggy as you struggled to figure him out. “You compliment like a man deep in the dating pool,” you smirked, “makes it hard to believe it’s all an accident. Maybe you actually lured me in here
intentionally?” You raised your eyebrows, but couldn’t handle your own silly accusation, breaking down in giggles.
“Don’t worry, darlin’, this old dog is all bark no bite.” His smile looked sincere, kind laughter leaving his wet lips and he gave you a wink.
“You’re not that old,” your voice dragged the words out like you wanted to convince yourself more than him. You felt hot all over and you weren’t sure if it was the result of the wine you drank.
“You’re too kind, sweetheart, no need to spare my feelings. My prime is long behind the horizon.”
“No, you’re actually very handsome,” you didn’t lie, anyone with a good working set of eyes would see his attractiveness, and you had two weeks to cement it in your brain. “You have a very nice smile, and your hands,” your eyes dropped on the table where a giant fist was curled around his fork. “A lot of women appreciate a good set of hands.”
“Learned to work with them pretty well, too.” Joel nodded and smirked. “Leaking faucets, clogged drainage. Can fix it all.”
In your mind that phrase sounded naughtier than you were sure the man intended it to, and you reprimanded yourself, feeling a different kind of heat rise from your belly. With one swift movement you’ve emptied what was left in your glass of wine, forgetting about your need to somehow get home after dinner. Joel only poured some more in your glass, smiling softly.
He learned the dance moves long ago. Pretty birds like you were comfortably predictable, and even though you oozed a different kind of odor, he knew exactly what to say. He watched you sip your wine with ease, his own glass barely touched on the table.
When the last piece of salad was cleaned off your plate, you felt a pleasant fullness in your belly. Your head was heavy in a sleepy kind of way, and you looked around, trying to find something to hold your attention on. Your eyes skimmed the living room, from where you were sitting you could see an old couch, in some spots it was now more beige than brown, its big cushions looked soft and the blue quilt draped over the back of it was calling your name.
There was a guitar leaning against one of the armrests and you moved your eyes back at Joel who was silently studying you.
“You play that?” You blindly pointed your thumb towards the strategically placed instrument and Joel curtly nodded.
“I pluck the strings, sometimes something bearable comes out.” He joked, the apples of his cheeks saturated with color and you reached your hand to take his
and gently squeezed it. Joel’s skin turned out to be warm and dry, the sensation of giving him such an innocent touch tingled on your fingertips.
“I noticed you tend to undersell yourself. Would you play something for me?” You didn’t want to leave yet, and your empty plate didn’t really leave you a reason to stay. You tilted your head to the right and gave Joel a sweet smile, hoping he’d succumb to your charm. He didn’t wait long before returning the soft gesture. Slowly, he got off his seat. His figure loomed above you for a quiet moment before he outstretched his palm.
“I’d never be able to refuse you,” he admitted. Your hand drowned in his and he tugged you up. You almost crushed into his broad chest, but to your own dismay he took a step back. Your insides throbbed, the smell of his cologne mixed with his own odor awoke every single receptor on your skin.
“Do you like old stuff?”
“I’m still here,” you quipped and shrugged your shoulders innocently. Joel stopped, making sure you saw him roll his eyes in fake annoyance. He couldn’t contain the breathy laugh, though, so you knew he got your joke.
You moved towards the couch, while Joel walked a step behind you, enjoying the view of your ass in a skin tight dress. The outline of your thongs was visible to him, and he smiled to himself, maybe you weren’t as innocent as you pretended to be. Joel bit the inside of his cheek to refrain from any comments.
His hand hugged the neck of the guitar confidently, while you made yourself comfortable on the couch.
“I think I know just the thing.”
Your eyes never left his fingers as he started to hum an unfamiliar melody.
His voice lulled you in, deep vibrations as he plucked the strings reverberated in your chest. You felt so warm inside, the heat that was pooling in the depth of your belly rose and touched your chest, neck, the tips of your fingers. The dress clung to your skin unpleasantly and for a moment you wished you could take it off. Was it so wrong?
Your eyes traced Joel’s face, the sharp angle of his nose, the tip of it twitching as he sang gently. His lips caressed the words with a tenderness of a lover and you wondered when was the last time they did the same to a woman. Your thighs tightened as your body already knew something your mind only danced around. You shifted in your seat, moving closer to Joel, letting your knees touch.His eyes found yours, a question burning in his browns. You shrugged your shoulders and gave him a small smile, he smiled back. The melody continued, his warm timbre embracing the words.
Maybe tomorrow, honey, Some place down the line, I’ll wake up older So much older, mama, I’ll wake up older, and I’ll just stop all my trying
Your fingers drew patterns on your dress, nails picking at the seam with nervousness. The fire in the center of you gave you confidence to follow through, and your hand ended up on Joel’s knee, slowly moving up until your pinky touched the wood of his guitar. The melody didn’t falter, but his voice did.
“Whatcha doin’, sweetheart?”
“It is a date, isn’t it?” The shreds of your confidence only allowed you to squeeze his thigh with a hint, yet your eyes looked anywhere but his face.
“You shouldn’t do something like that to an old man like me, will break my heart when you leave,” he sounded so painfully sad, it made your heart ache as bad as your pussy. You looked him in the eye then, god, he was so handsome.
“What if I don’t leave?” You challenged him like a mouse challenging a lion. Joel shook his head, his hand gripping the guitar’s neck viciously.
“Stop playing with me, darlin’.”
“What if I’m not playing?”
You expected another sad plea, another crack in his voice. But instead, he put his guitar to the side and spread his legs wider than before. “Then prove it.” He husked out. “Prove that you know what you’re doing.”
There was no mistake in what he meant. His voice added a new depth into it, eyes glowed with something dark. Passion, you thought. Need. The one that was pushing you to your knees at that same moment. The one that numbed your skin when your bones hit the hardwood floor between his spread thighs. The one that guided your hands to his zipper before you could even steal a kiss off his tantalizing lips.
He was hot underneath his clothes, his skin was burning like he had a fever and you were almost too impatient to be gentle. Joel lifted his hips just enough to help you tug his jeans down, his grey cotton boxers followed. He watched you intently, and you watched his half-hard cock lay heavily on his full balls. They were hanging low, their size intimidating. But no more intimidating than the main course.
You weren’t offended that he wasn’t fully hard yet, still, Joel took you by the chin and made you look at him. “Sorry, darlin’, you’re the prettiest girl I’ve seen in a long time, but at my age, it’s just not enough anymore.”
You nodded, your mouth flooding with saliva at the thought of him growing under your tongue. He was thick, veiny, more veiny than the dicks you’d seen
before so you thought it was an age thing, however the vines surrounding his shaft only made you whimper harder, thighs squelching with your arousal.
You leaned forward, inhaling full lungs of him. It was heady, strong, and made you dizzier than all the wine you drank. You reached your hand out with the intent of touching his cock, but Joel stopped you.
“Touch yourself.” For the first time you heard something dark in his melody. Commanding.
“What?” You were confused. Did he want you to just play with yourself? Because you were on the verge of bursting if he didn’t let you get closer to his cock.
“Put your little hand in your panties and slick it up with all the sweet juices that have been leaking out of you since the moment you saw me, darlin’.” Your mouth fell open, hand following his order under Joel’s dominant gaze. “Then you can wrap it around my dick, and prove to me that you really want this.”
It was so easy to just do what he said, without questioning the moral, the consequences. Your hand was wet with your arousal, pussy begging to keep it
there, to give some attention to your clit, but your mind was set on the man before you.
He hissed when you wrapped your slick hand around his shaft and started jerking it slowly, feeling the girth of him thrum with growing desire. You looked at his cock, entranced. His shaft was shining with your own juices, a pink head became deeper in color as more blood rushed to his cock. You swiped your thumb over it, a tiny drop of precum glistening in his slit.
“You’re doin’ such a good job, angel.” Joel’s hoarse voice was almost a whisper. You felt the steam coming from him, it made you sweat, your breath hitching. “Why don’t you put that mouth to use, hm, darlin’? You speak awful lot with it.”
It almost made you giggle, a plan forming in your head. Instead of letting his cock in the scorching wetness of your mouth, your head dropped lower. You
stuck your tongue out, lathering his heavy balls in your saliva. They were fuzzy, like a ripe peach, and you massaged them with the wet muscle.
“Fuck, ain’t nothing angelic about you, huh?” Joel’s voice was barely recognizable, hungry and low it vibrated in your pussy. You opened your mouth wider, sucking his balls in turn. “That’s right, making me feel so good, sucking on my balls like that. Come on, baby, use your tongue.”
You tried to alternate between licking and sucking on his ballsack, your spit drooling over your chin while you were panting like a rabid dog. The only thing that mocked your ladylikeness was your goddamn dress, and it was almost drenched in your own slick at this point.
“Good girl, sucking on my balls like it’s what you came here for. Came here to make an old man cum? What a perverted little girl you are, sweetheart.” Your pussy tingled with your praise. The mouth on him made your head spin, like a newfound drug that affected only you he seeped under your skin making you pant and moan as you continued pleasuring him. Your hand jerked his thick cock in tandem with your mouth on his balls. Joel’s eyes never left you, as he continued praising you. “Mmhm, that’s good, drench ‘em, fuck you’re a dirty one.”
You felt his hand at the back of your head as it pressed you harder into him, your nose was forced into his perineum and he almost humped your face with his groin. Your tongue hung out, and he managed to slide his balls across it before it almost went too low. The tip of your tongue almost touching his puckered hole covered in more hair.
“Not today,” you heard him grumble before tugging you up. “Come on, darlin’, don’t make me waste a load.” He pushed on your cheeks with his hand, feeding you his cock in one movement. It was a lot to take, your teeth barely scraping his shaft, and you used your tongue to protect the underside. “Take it all, come on, darlin’, you’re the one who wanted it.”
Intoxication and arousal didn’t mix well, as you just moaned pathetically around him, letting him deeper in your throat. It bulged with the sheer size of his dick, you felt it, uncomfortable, but you couldn’t move, your body too heavy and tired. Instead, your hands found his wet balls, already tight and ready to blow every drop of cum he’d been saving for you. You tried to fit them in your hand, gently tugging at his sack to stimulate him further.
“Ready, sweetheart? I better not see you waste a drop.” His hips bucked, and your nose was pressed into the soft tuft of his grey pubes. Joel pressed your head into him harder as his hot load trickled down your throat. You tried to breathe through your nose, the lack of oxygen blackening your vision.
He pulled out seconds before you were ready to pass out.
“Gotta tap my leg or somethin’, sugar. I don’t need you dying with my cock still in your throat.” You chuckled, not sure why. Joel placed his hand on your cheek, his thumb tracing your lower lip, slippery with your saliva. His whisper sounded gentle, “God, you’re a mess. Beautiful.”
You didn’t trust your throat to work, so instead, you tried to get up on your trembling legs. Your pussy still screamed for release, so wet you could feel your arousal escaping your thongs and dripping down your leg. You hiked the skirt of your dress up, not an ounce of shame inside, and straddled Joel.
“Whoa, darlin’, slow down,” his hands dropped to your hips, keeping you in place. Your brows furrowed. He didn’t look like a man who’d let a lady down. “Why don’t we change our location?”
You didn’t get an opportunity to look around, your feet scrambling as he tugged you into a dark room. His pants were up, but undone, and you lost your heels somewhere along the way, your dress still hiked up like a common whore.
Everything was spinning, so when he dropped on the bed at first you thought he fell. His voice was navigating you through the darkness, but you could barely concentrate on it.
“Come here, angel, let this old man take care of your pretty pussy.” Joel smacked his lips, and guided you to climb on top of him, legs on each side of his body until your pussy hovered over his face.
“Panties,” you whimpered and heard an immediate crack of fabric ripping.
“Sorry, darlin’, can’t make you wait any longer,” his face pressed into the side of your thigh, sticky with your own juices, and you whimpered pathetically at the texture of his scruff scratching your sensitive skin. “Smell so good, fresh, like a new doll.”
You couldn’t understand what he meant, you didn’t even try to. When his lips latched onto your clit, your head tilted back and you let out a loud moan. Joel only moaned back, the sound penetrating your pussy alongside his tongue.
His hands gripped your asscheeks painfully, forcing you to grind on his face. His tongue slipped in your wet hole, and you felt yourself shaking on top of him, your legs giving out as he kept fucking you with his tongue.
Joel growled in your skin, making you crawl to your orgasm faster and faster with every swipe of his tongue.
The tip of his nose kept hitting your sensitive clit, as he pushed his tongue further and further in your fluttering hole. He kissed his way up, pinching your clit between his tightly clasped lips and sucked, punching a cry out of you with his raw vigor.
“Come on, sugar,” he commanded, “I feel her cryin’, give her what she wants.”
With doubled passion he flickered his tongue over your throbbing bud, and you felt sweat trickling down your neck and soaking into your dress as an orgasm rushed over you.
Your body felt powerless, and if not for Joel’s strong hands still holding you up, you’d have fallen back. But he kept you somewhat steady, lapping up all that your wasted body could give him until every swipe of his tongue started being painful and you had physically push his face away with trembling hands.
“Got too enthusiastic, my bad. Ain’t every day I get to drink from a fountain of youth.” Joel joked, helping you settle next to him in his bed.
Your tired body was half laying on top of him, fully drained yet still unexplainably insatiable. Forced by something deep in the pit of your belly, you dragged your nails over his soft stomach until you touched his soft cock again. Joel quickly stopped you, grabbing your wrist and bringing your hand to his chest. You felt the sparse hairs on his nipple tickle your palm. His heartbeat was hard, but steady.
“Sorry, angel, ain’t that young anymore.” He said, kissing the crown of your head. His fingers found their way into your hair and he tugged at it gently. “If you want me to fuck that pretty hole of yours, you’ll just have to agree to a second date.”
Your words were slurred, eyelids too heavy to keep them open. “Maybe I will, old man.”
He chuckled, the grip of his fingers in your hair tightened as he looked in the distance. A couple of flickering street lamps visible from his window were providing minimum light in his room and a possessive smile creeped onto his lips as he listened to you snoring lightly into his chest.
You weren't the first mouse to get trapped so easily, but something told him you were special. He wasn't ready to discard you just yet.
LEAVE A COMMENT, YOUR FEEDBACK IS MY MOTIVATION <3
#catfish!joel#iamasaddie fic#joel miller x f!reader#joel miller x female reader#joel miller fic#joel miller smut#dark fic#ppcu fanfiction#tlou fic
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You’re not stupid. You knew what this was from the beginning.
Simon didn’t promise anything. There were no sweet words, no late-night confessions, no pretending. He showed up, let you undress him, let you crawl into his lap like you were something he wanted, and then left like it didn’t mean a thing. That was the deal. No strings, no expectations, just sex, simple as that.
Except it stopped being simple a while ago.
You don’t even know when it changed, really. It just did. Somewhere between how he held your wrist a little longer after finishing, or how his hand would linger on your back like he didn’t want to move yet. Somewhere in the way he sometimes stayed the night, even though he never said a word the morning after. You started mistaking comfort for connection. You started thinking maybe he cared.
But he doesn’t.
He’s standing by your door now, putting his mask back on, like he’s just another guy sneaking out before the sun’s fully up. You’re sitting on the edge of the bed, still a little sore, still a little raw—mostly emotionally, if you’re being honest—and watching him like maybe this will be the time he says something different.
It isn’t.
“You don’t have to keep doing this if you don’t want to,” he says, not even looking at you. Like this is some casual comment, not the hundredth time he’s walked away without so much as a look back.
And you’re so tired.
Tired of pretending this doesn’t get to you. Tired of letting him touch you like you’re his, only to act like he doesn’t know you when the clothes are back on. Tired of watching him come and go like you’re a stop on the way to somewhere better.
“Do you even like me?” you ask, and your voice doesn’t shake this time. It’s not dramatic, not angry. Just flat and honest.
He freezes for a second, just a second. And that should tell you everything, really.
“I don’t do that,” he mutters.
“Do what? Have feelings? Treat people like they matter?”
“That’s not what this was.”
“I know,” you say, sharper now. “Believe me, I know exactly what this was. I just made the mistake of thinking maybe it could be something more.”
He doesn’t respond. Just looks down, jaw tight, like he wants to argue but can’t figure out the words. Or maybe he just doesn’t want to lie to you.
You stand up, grab your shirt off the floor, and start pulling it on even though you feel like you’re shaking inside. You don’t want him to see that. You don’t want him to see that this hurts more than it should.
“You get what you want, and then you leave. Every time. And I let you,” you say. “But I’m done. I can’t keep pretending this doesn’t wreck me a little more every time you walk out that door.”
He looks at you now, really looks at you, and for a second he almost seems like he might say something. Apologize, maybe. Explain himself. But whatever it is, he swallows it down.
“You knew the rules,” he says, low.
And that’s it. That’s all you’re ever going to get from him.
So you nod, just once, and walk into the bathroom before he can see the tears start to build. You hear the front door shut a minute later. No goodbye. No pause.
Just gone.
Again.
PART 2
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suffer with me friends.
@daydreamerwoah @kylies-love-letter @ghostslollipop @kittygonap @alfiestreacle @identity2212
#simon ghost riley x you#simon ghost riley x reader#simon ghost riley#simon riley x you#simon ghost riley x female oc#simon riley x reader#simon riley imagine#simon riley#simon riley angst#cod angst#ghost x reader
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no questions asked— jjk

Jeon jungkook wants nothing more than to get settled with his girlfriend, but what if her fear of commitment makes him take a step back? Will he do it, or will he be able to changer her mind for good?
pairing : Jungkook X reader
genre : established relationship, smut, fluff
word count : 6.6k (im begging for forgiveness)
Based on this ask <33
warnings : nsfw, strong language, mature, oc is an anxious girly (same), mentions of emotionally unavailable parents, jungkook is a man of dreams, simp boyfriend jungkook, car sex, unprotected sex (be safe), begging, reference of titanic if you squint, yeah that's pretty much it.
a/n : this took million business days lmao but finally it's here. the sweetest anon requested a drabble but i couldn't do it and as much as i tried to make it shorter, it got stretched to 6k words 😭 so im deeply sorry anon. the rest of you who enjoy longer fics, dig in. I love you guys so much, you might not know this but yall are my besties for resties. kisses. 💌
˚୨୧⋆。˚
Your boyfriend is going to propose to you.
Oh god
Oh. my. God.
Anxiety is not a foreign feeling for you. Although this time, it’s an indescribable sort. Something which is lingering in the deepest pit of your stomach for a lack of better word. Besides, there’s a mayhem inside your head, the voices are loud and intimidating, causing you to bite your lip to a point where they bleed while also staring at nothing.
Jungkook has been nothing but secretive— the poor boy has no idea that you have already seen the navy blue box sitting inside his side of the drawer. You can swear it was totally unintentional.
In your defense, you had been searching for your glasses and that was the only place left to fish around. Nobody could have prepared you for the utter shock when your eyes fell on that box and so for a minute or two you just stood there, horrifyingly still and stunned. However, you recovered quickly, because to be quite honest it was about time one of you mustered up enough courage to ask the question.
It’s supposed to make you thrilled right? So why does something feel… off?
“Penny for your thoughts?”, as soon as Cherry’s voice reaches your ears, you snap out of it and flash her a forced smile.
“Yeah-” you begin, “Yeah uh- I’m just thinking about nothing in particular.”
“_____ you’re an amazing girl but you gotta work on those lying skills.”
A chuckle leaves your mouth. You shouldn’t even have bothered in the first place, the girl can read you like a book.
“What’s going on in that pretty head of yours huh?”
She picks up the book before scanning it with the barcode scanner all the while you marvel if you should tell her or just let it go, but then you also know how she would become a pain in the ass if you don’t spill the beans to her. Anyway, she can;t make you overthink it any more than you already have.
You bite your lower lip before saying, “I feel like Jungkook is going to propose.”
If looks alone could kill, you would have been buried deep by now with the way the man wearing an olive green cardigan, probably in his 50s, gives you side eye when Cherry drops the book with a loud thud on the counter.
You wince.
“I’m sorry what?”
When you subtly signal her to pick what she’s dropped, she takes a hold of the book, apologizes to the man who— you’re hundred percent sure hates your guts now, and resumes her work.
“This is why I didn’t want to tell you.”
“Ha! Girl you better start telling me more or none of us are going home today.”
She’s talking to you but her hands keep shuffling between scanning the books and expeditiously typing on the keyboard.
A spark of hesitation finds a way inside your heart. The thing is, you’re not sure. Do you want to marry the love of your life? Absolutely. Do you think you can keep the marriage going and stable? No.
There you said it.
And that kills you because jeopardising your bond and connection with Jungkook is the last thing you want to do.
Maybe, it’s because nobody in your family has been able to keep their inner spark alive after they had gotten married or you might as well blame it on the relationship your own parents have had before your eyes.
For everyone who couldn’t see past the walls of your house, your parents were an ideal couple. A pair who were equally efficient and successful in their respective areas of life. With your father being a renowned businessman and your mother holding the title of a world famous fashion designer, they couldn’t have been a better partner for each other, right?
Wrong. Too bad you had the honor of being an onlooker of their facade slipping away before getting replaced by their real impudent selves.
But that’s all you could do though. You were merely just an audience. Someone who could see everything shatter before her eyes and not do a single thing to put an end to it.
Constant fights, fuming with jealousy over one of them achieving more than the other, sabotaging each other.
All hell broke loose when they began making you take sides.
You think mommy is better don’t you, honey?
You should be proud of your dad, ____. You’re living such a luxurious life thanks to me.
For the love of god you were five. What does a five year old know about luxury or human ego? What could you have possibly known about who is better? In your eyes, they were your mom and dad and not some squish mellows placed side by side from which you had to take your pick. Let’s not even start with the emotional unavailability they provided you with.
A knot lodges in your throat and you struggle to get the words out. “I happen to see the box inside his drawer”
“You’re sure it had a ring inside- Wait, don't answer that”, she shakes her head as if she just asked the most ridiculous question ever.
No shit.
“But that’s a good thing right? I mean you guys have been seeing each other for a while now and marriage is the final stop.” she continues and you can’t help but feel terrible, because she is making sense.
A sigh leaves you, “Yeah no- I mean yeah it is but I didn’t expect him to take the initiative so suddenly. No hints were dropped at all. Marriage is, gosh, I can’t believe I’m saying this but it seems intimidating to me.”
The queue has finally dissipated at this point so she faces you fully showcasing her engrossment in your dilemma. The girl feeds off drama but refuses to get involved in one.
Her expression morphs into something between horrified and sympathetic. “_____, is that because of your parents?”
Your heart skips a beat. This whole time you and only you had authority over this thought that your fear of marriage is deeply rooted in your own parents’ fucked up relationship. A belief that lay sly and unseen.
Only after those words left Cherry’s mouth did you realise how venomous they sound. It makes you aware that the fear was not as concealed as you intended to keep it. What are you supposed to do when you find out that somebody else knows about your deepest terrors? Run? Hide? Or simply not say anything?
Your mouth feels suddenly dry. “What?”
Cherry takes a hold of your palm and rubs it gently, “If it is, I want you to know that it’s not the case for everyone. Marriage is a beautiful concept, a lovely commitment. Are there some pitfalls to it? Yes. But that’s the beauty of it. The way two people come together and resolve them-”
Your phone buzzes inside your pocket causing you to flinch. Releasing your hands from her hold, you take it out and see your grandmother’s number stare up at you.
“I’ll just be back.” you excuse yourself just as a woman places a stack of books on the counter.
˚୨୧⋆。˚
“Hey, beautiful” you greet her, a smile lighting up your entire face.
“My baby, did I catch you at the wrong time?” her voice is like a balm to your heart. So warm and comforting. It reminds you of your movie nights with her where you didn’t have to be anything or pretend. You just had to exist and she made it worth it. Always.
“Now you know even the devil himself can’t stop me from talking to you.”
A loud chortle reaches your ears and you imagine her throwing her head back, laughing.
“I was calling to ask if you and your eye candy of a boyfriend are visiting home this year for thanksgiving, dear?”
Dear lord, you can’t believe you forgot about that.
Your eyes widen, and just when you think you could bubble up some other lie, she speaks up, “You forgot, didn’t you?”
Yeah, bold of you to assume you can do that and get away. You actually need to work on your lying skills. For whatever reason. You want to pluck your eyelashes out one by one because of how gloomy she sounds.
“I’m genuinely sorry, grams.” pinching the bridge of your nose you continue, “I’ve just been busy with work and barely making ends meet. I promise this is the first and last time I let it slip my mind.”
With the job you have, there’s only so much cash you can count and while you would love to make a career out of writing, the thought of publishing your own book sends shivers down your spine.
Every time you open the draft a new mistake pops up, taking a percentage of your self confidence down the drain. You’re only human. A microscopic slip catches your attention and you start questioning your life choices.
“Honey, come home and give yourself some time off, what do you youngsters like to call it? Oh yes, grind. Yeah?”
It’s your turn to laugh. “Wow someone has been too into love island lately.”
Cherry raises her eyebrows from across the room and you mouth her the word ‘grandma’. She nods with a smile on her face, going back to work.
A long stretch of silence hangs in the air before you hear her ask, “_____, what else is wrong?”
The smile which has been adorning your face this whole time instantly drops. You blink.
Once
Twice
Thrice
“I don’t understand.” Liar.
“You know what I mean, baby. I want you to tell me more, because I know something has been bothering you. What is it?”
Humans are so funny sometimes. They can be as close to you as your own soul and not have a hint of your torment. Meanwhile, there is your grandmother, who despite being so far away from you just….. knew. But again, it has always been like this hasn’t it?
Whenever you got tired of your parents throwing stuff around the house, making each other lick the floors, trying to make their own and your life a living hell, she knew.
She was the one who allowed you to cry, and assured you that she would not call you dramatic if she happened to hear your sobs.
You were allowed to cry,
You were allowed to ask for help,
You were allowed to not hold back.
Sucking in a deep breath, you release it, “Everything else is perfect, grams.”
Mr William is always the first person to greet you everyday when you reach the apartment. He’s been working as a guard for years now and you’ve grown quite familiar with him. While being the sweetest man you’ve ever come across, he also brings his wife’s yummiest tarts for you whenever she makes them. Arguably, they deserve more hype than they get.
“She knows how much you love her tarts” he says, making you feel immense gratitude towards his kindness.
This particular night, he seems…. restless. He’s shifting from one foot to another as you shut the cab’s door behind you. Striding over to him, you mentally try your best to figure out his uneasiness.
Clearing your throat, your throat as you ask, “Is everything alright, Mr William?”
Only after he hears your voice, he gains his composure. Or so he tries.
He hands you a piece of paper which feels a bit wet and you wonder what could have been so intense that the man began having clammy palms.
It’s nearly concerning, not to mention it doesn’t help with your own anxiety at all. If not, shoot it up.
“Your boyfriend dropped by around lunch time, miss. He handed me this and asked me to give it to you as soon as you come back from work.”
He couldn’t have given it to you yesterday when he was with you in the first place? Weird.
“I see, but why are you so tense? Has something happened?”
He pinches the bridge of his nose. “My wife has been sick and I was supposed to leave early but I figured it would be better if I gave it to you safely before going home to her.”
Fuck
“You could have given this to me later. Your wife comes first, sir.” you gulp, “Please, I appreciate your gesture but she needs you more. Thank you so much and please let me know if I can be of help.”
He releases an empty chuckle. “Thank you, Miss”
With one last nod you walk inside the building while also hoping he doesn’t call you for help. Not because you won’t do anything it takes to help him, but because you hope it wouldn’t come to it. The moment you shut the apartment door behind and turn on the light, the piece of paper steals your attention. Without waiting any further, you unfold it, coming across Jungkook’s writing.

The note alone feels like he whispered it into your ear before placing the softest kiss on your skin. Your lips stretch into a serene smile as you stride over to the bedroom, turning the doorknob as your gaze catches a purple bodycon resting on top of your bed. It is accompanied with a bouquet of pink tulips as well as a bar of Dubai chocolate.
Your head that has been nothing short of a commotion is now finally at peace. Not entirely but at peace nonetheless.
˚୨୧⋆。˚
Jungkook was 12 when he went on his first roller coaster ride. He was, like every other child, afraid. Afraid that he might fall and hurt himself so bad, he wouldn’t ever be able to get up. The roller coaster had a massive drop followed by a corkscrew which took him upside down. Until the moment Jungkook saw a woman in yellow dress buying a bunch of tulips from the flower shop he very often visited, he had never felt his stomach bottom out as strongly as it did during that drop back then.
There she was, chatting with the florist as if they’re best friends. He could see her behind the glass picking out the pink tulips before sniffing them. Meanwhile, Jungkook stood across the road, soaked and enchanted as he wondered if he should ask for her number or chicken out. Eventually, the latter won.
But here’s the thing, Jungkook is not one for losing. He hates losing, even the term makes him want to peel his own skin off.
He saw her hair first, becoming curly locks reaching down to her waist and just above her hips. Granted that his line of sight only allowed him to see her side profile, he assumed she was gorgeous. It was not unlikely for him to see beautiful women on a daily basis, but something about her just sucked him in. His eyes could not leave her face and he believed even if they tried, he would pluck them out just to punish them. Was it weird that his hands itched to hold a woman he doesn’t even know?
What’s her name?
Where does she live?
What’s her favorite color?
How does she like her coffee?
There’s a japanese phrase called koi no yokan which means that you eventually will fall in love with a person you meet. You’re going to grow so fond of that person that you would want to see no one by your side but them. She was that person for him.
He rubs his hands for the nth time in a futile attempt to warm them up, waiting outside ____’s building. How is this evening going so slow? He has been here for perhaps half an hour now, so why does it feel like it’s been a decade?
And funnily enough, the only person who can put him out of his misery is _____. At this point, the guy fears he wouldn’t be able to so much as look her in the eye, but not doing that will be the end of him too.
He looks down and lets his hands run over his black button down shirt, wondering if she would like it. She loved seeing him in black on the first date. A loud click clack of heels grab his attention, perking his ears up. He looked up and there she was in all her glory.
Jungkook releases a breath and rubs his chest as if his heart hurts. As if it’s telling him how unworthy he is of this woman who is walking up to him, who may be as nervous as him but still chose him as her man.
The woman who could have anyone she wanted wrapped around her pinky finger gave her days, nights and evenings to him. She smiled at him, for him and if he was lucky, because of him.
_____ stops before him while he’s still adjusting to the sight of her. “How do I look?”
Unreal, exquisite and way out of his league.
He shakes his head from side to side, thinking of a single word that would suffice the answer to that. He fails and so instead he runs his fingers down her forearm until he reaches her soft hands and takes it into his own cold ones.
Placing a chaste kiss on her knuckles, he begins. “My imagination of you in this dress has got nothing on this vision.”
Her face morphs into the softest expression of love, “And exactly how many times have you imagined me in this dress, Jeon Jungkook?”
He takes a step forward, his chest almost touching hers. “I can’t answer that. You want to know why?”
“Why?” Her voice is emotionless. His thumb grazes her lower lip as he tries not to smudge her nude lipstick. “Because if I do, we’ll have to go back into your apartment and try not to wake your neighbours up.” She swats his chest and softly pushes him back, dissolving into a giggle.
“You’re looking quite handsome yourself.” she says as her eyes shamelessly check him out. His sleeves are halfway folded stopping just below his elbow, beautifying his tattooed forearms.
He’s also wearing his favorite blue baggy jeans with his usual black chunky boots. The same ones he goes for when he knows _____ might not be able to bear the pain caused by her heels, so he ends up swapping them with the boots.
He would argue carrying her all the way to her apartment instead, but settles elseways.
Jungkook opens the car door for her and only after she’s well seated, he runs to his side and takes off.
The ride to the restaurant is quiet despite the obvious tension that doesn't go unnoticed by either him or her. As much as he would like to spend the rest of the night snuggled into bed with her, he knows there is something more significant than that. So instead he indulges in caressing her thigh.
“After you, angel.” He places a hand on the small of her back.
˚୨୧⋆。˚
The ambience looks straight out of the movies. Like a paradise. Violinists are playing a chorus of Fuck her gently by Tenacious D far across the room.
Jungkook catches an unknown look on her face. “Something’s wrong?”
She shakes her head, flashing him a smile. “I love this song.”
He places a tiny kiss on her temple. “I know, baby. C’mon.”
You know how women have this killer instinct of knowing if and when somebody’s watching them? It’s like they have a separate pair of googly eyes on the back of their head to protect them from creeps.
From the moment you have entered the place, the man in the wine shirt has been making a hole in your face with the way he’s been staring at you.
Is your dress too revealing? Are you showing too much skin?
“Oh I forgot to tell you. Your grandmother called earlier today.” Jungkook disrupts your thoughts.
You gulp down the last piece of steak before answering. “Let me guess she asked you to join her for thanksgiving?” He nods, a bright smile on his face. “I told her I would love to.”
A cheeky smile unfurls slowly on your face. Jungkook loves your grandmother. Maybe a little bit more than you do. Just a tiny bit though. Last year when you and he visited her, he was the first person apart from you to get a hug out of her.
Your grandma is not much of a hugger by the way. Her hugs are totally exclusive.
“I’m sure she loves having my ‘eye candy of a boyfriend’ there.”
Jungkook snorts, placing his fork down. “She called me an eye candy?”
He dissolves into a fit of laughter when you answer his question with a nod.
“See now that’s the biggest achievement I have had in a while. I mean what are the odds your wife’s grandma calls your an eye candy-”
Something sours in your stomach. The steak here tastes awful or maybe it’s just you feeling pathetic that as soon as he says ‘wife’ your expression morphs into something so dreadful that it causes him to stop. What are the odds that you just gave him a reality check and dragged him out of a fool’s paradise?
“Angel, what’s-”
You stand abruptly, cutting him off yet again. His eyes bob all over you, and then a sad frown puckers between his brows.
“I’ll just be back. I need to use the washroom.” You say as you grab your handbag as quickly as you can before leaving him there. Confused and wondering what the fuck just happened?
Few minutes later, just as you’re walking outside the washroom and making a way towards your table someone’s voice causes you to stop midway.
“Excuse me.”
Turning to face the person, you come face to face with the same man from earlier. The one wearing a wine colored shirt along with a nasty expression. You believe he’s trying to look cocky but is failing miserably.
“Can I help you?”
A slow smile spreads over his mouth. “I couldn’t help but notice that the man you’re here with seems to upset you in some way.”
An awkward chuckle leaves you. “The man is my boyfriend and I don’t think it concerns you if he’s upsetting me or not.”
He walks a little closer. Oh no, this is bad.
“Fair enough,” he shrugs, “But clearly he’s not being a good boyfriend, is he?”
The audacity of this man.
You huff out a frustrated breath, “Listen, you need to shut up and stay within your limits. It’s not healthy going around poking your nose into everyone’s business.”
His sly smile grows even more as he steps closer than before.
The hair on your body stands up, and not in a good way, but in a very uncomfortable way. You suddenly regret the idea of leaving Jungkook’s side. Bad, bad decision.
Currently, you have two options. You can either just walk off and act like nothing happened, which by the way, is a safe option or you can kick the man in the balls and then act like nothing happened.
Since you're much more accustomed to the former option, you decide to do just that but when his hands grip your wrist with an iron grip, you settle on the latter.
You knee him between the legs with an intention to hurt him as he grunts in pain, his hands gripping where you just kicked him.
“You fucking bitch.”
Before he can say anything further, you storm off. Your phone buzzes inside your handbag and you automatically assume it to be Jungkook’s call. As soon as you spot him across the room, you feel the clouds parting, there’s a feeling threatening to arise. It’s something between protected and anguished.
Anguished because you let your mind speak so deafeningly that it silenced the oh so loud love Jungkook has for you. And protected because you know for a fact that if he had any idea about what that man just did to you, he would not think twice before dragging him by the hair before bringing him to his knees in front of you to apologize.
He stands once he sees you and you waste no time running towards him. Your arms go around him as you nuzzle your face in the crook of his neck. His arms immediately embracing you in return, securing you against his chest.
It feels warm.
Concern laces his voice as he says, “I’ve got you, baby. I’ve got you. Breathe”
You don’t even realise you’re panting unless he says that. You’re aware that at this point the way you flung yourself at him must have got everyone’s attention. But you genuinely don’t care. It might as well be an auditorium full of people watching you hug your boyfriend like an anchor, you just don’t care.
You realise that’s exactly what Jungkook is. Your anchor. Someone who didn’t even ask as to what happened before he straight away began consoling you.
His hand envelops the back of your head in a protective way while the other soothes your back.
“Do you want to leave? We can leave right now if you want to.”
“Yes, please.”
His body shakes as though he just nodded. “All right, let me pay real quick and we’ll leave yeah?”
Your voice is muffled against his chest. “Yeah.”
You suck in a sharp breath as he lets you go. The small folder on the table grabs your attention. He opens it only to find a note inside of it saying— “It’s on me, gorgeous”.
You can see the wheels in his mind turning, but before he starts asking you any questions which may or may not cause a breakdown of yours, you say, “I’ll explain it to you outside. Can we please go?”
“Let me see wh-”
“Please?” He lets out a defeated sigh and nods. “Yeah- Yeah let’s go.”
˚୨୧⋆。˚
At first when Jungkook saw that note, the first emotion that he felt was rage and a very serious one at that. But it was soon replaced by realization. It doesn’t take a scientist to figure out that something nasty went down after _____ left to use the washroom. Something he can’t wait to get to the bottom of. Nevertheless, he didn’t want her to be pressured to answer the more obvious question.
Jungkook’s girl is attractive. She’s kind and empathetic and fucking stunning which makes her worthy of all the attention she gets. Of course men are going to want to be with her.
Initially, it bothered him. A lot.
Now, though? He’s grown rather used to it. However, it has never come to having someone pay for her in a restaurant. Even the thought of someone so much as speaking to her in an inhumanely manner makes him want to punch a hole through a wall.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
The silence is too loud inside the car. He can hear ____’s heart beating loudly or is it his own?
She’s leaning back with her head against the headrest. When she doesn’t respond, Jungkook speaks again, “_____ baby, will you please at least look at me?”
Her eyes connect with his and he flashes her the softest of smiles.
Taking her hand, he kisses the inside of her wrist where he can feel her pulse.
Thump thump thump.
“I want you to give me something, angel. Anything.”
He can see her gulp before admitting, “There was um… there was a guy outside the washroom and he kind of tried to force himself on me,” she closes her eyes for a brief moment, “Maybe I’m just being dramatic, but I handled him.”
Jungkook’s stomach drops. He was right. His hands fly out to open the car door before _____ holds him back. “Don’t. I said I handled it.”
He turns back, his voice leaking with anger along with something more barbaric. “And I’m proud that you did, but if I don’t go in and beat that asshole into a new one I won’t be able to call myself a man worthy of you anymore. I need him to know that he can’t fuck with my girl and go about his goddamn day.” “Jungkook, please. I can’t take it anymore. Please stop.”
And he does. For now.
He leans back, running his hands over his face with frustration. For a few minutes he and ____ just stare outside the front glass of the car. The parking lot slowly gets empty as people leave for their homes one by one.
Just when he thinks _____ has dozed off, her voice reaches him. “Can I get one more hug?”
“Come here.”
He takes her into a warm embrace before kissing the top of her head, settling his lips there. His anger has yet not fully dissipated, but having her so close calms his heart. It calms his whole being. Her touch, her breath against his skin, her presence heals something in him.
Therefore, he made up his mind about spending his whole life with her. The little slip of words, which by the way was totally unintentional, soured _____'s expression and that didn’t go unnoticed by him.
She’s scared but he fully intends to let her know that she doesn’t have to.
______ unwraps herself from his arms and pushes back. Just enough for their noses to touch.
She shakes her head, “Don’t give me those eyes.”
Jungkook holds back a smile. “What eyes, angel?”
“The same ones you give me when you want something dirty to happen. Those big brown eyes of yours.”
He lets a chuckle slip out. “I’m down if you are.”
When she offers him her own laugh, gosh it’s as though he comes alive. If he could bottle up the sound, he would. Something passes in _____’s eyes. Lust? Desire? He can’t pinpoint.
He wants to kiss the hell out of her though and he wants to do it desperately. Her eyes drop to his mouth and he takes it as a sign to lean forward and press his mouth against hers.
Her lips part ever so slightly followed by her gripping Jungkook’s collar to bring him even closer. So close as if she wants their souls to intertwine.
The feeling is very much mutual.
She gets up from the passenger’s seat without breaking the kiss and straddles his lap. Her legs on either side of his thigh as their core’s touch. Jungkook is not sure how long he can endure this sweet pain of waiting.
In all sincerity, he’s been holding himself back from the very moment he saw her walking up to him in that dress. Do with that information what you will.
Now, he just wants to say fuck it and get inside her— only that he can’t, because he wants her to take her time and ask for it. Then and then only he will fuck her. If it’s inside this car then so be it.
The kiss is electric and filled with passion, tingling his skin in all the right places as she matches his enthusiasm with her own.
______ pulls back with a deep breath, leaving Jungkook panting heavily.
“Please.” she begs.
A strand of hair falls on her face. He tucks it behind her ear. “Please what baby?”
“Please fuck me, Jungkook. I want you so bad and I want you right now.” she whines.
He grins. “At your service, ma’am.”
He hears _____’s light chuckle as he gets out of the car, carrying her with him while also making sure she doesn’t hit her head on the hood. She detaches herself from him once they’re out and settles in the back seat. Only after ensuring she’s comfortable enough, Jungkook follows her.
His body lays on top of her and he wastes no time as their mouths collide. Her finger grip the hair on his nape and he groans with pleasure, his cock going thick. He rubs it on her lower stomach to show her how much he wants her, gaining a moan out of her.
Jungkook’s head goes fuzzy with every passing second. He almost comes when she lifts her hips up and rubs a slow circle against his cock.
“Fuck.” He groans, pulling back from the kiss. _____’s cheeks are heated and lips are swollen. He did that. Her man did that.
Suddenly, he’s grateful for the tinted glass and his big car.
_____ lifts her head up and kisses his sweaty cheek, swiping his forehead with her palm. “You’re sweating, honey.”
“Yeah, I tend to do that in your presence. Do you know how hard it was for me to stay sane after seeing you look so unbelievably gorgeous?”
She passes him a lazy smile, “You’ve always been so good at controlling yourself, haven’t you?”
“Not anymore.” He sits up, knees on either side of her body and starts unbuckling his belt all the while panting with excitement. His pants slide halfway down letting his cock spring free. Thick, angry and leaking with precum. His shirt goes next.
______’s eyes flash with lust as she bites her lower lip. The straps of her dress have slipped down, leaving her tits bare and open for Jungkook.
“I’m gonna fuck you so good, baby.” he leans forward as she runs a hand up his bare spine, hooking her legs over his hip.
“Please.” she whispers.
A loud thunder outside the car grabs Jungkook’s attention. Nice, he’s so horny he didn’t even realise that it’s raining. Another rumble of thunder drowns their panting breath but he still only focuses on the woman beneath him. The goddess of a woman who trusts him with her body. How lucky he is to call her his own.
She brushes his hair out of his face, her thumb dusting over the mole on the bridge of his nose before her hand follows the path of his tattooed arm, his rib, his ass, until she wraps a fist around his dick.
He pushes into her hand. “I need to grab the condoms from the console, angel.”
There’s a brief moment of silence, the car filling with the pants and whimpers before she says, “I want you bare. I’m on the pill.”
Jungkook has never gone without condom nor has he considered going without one, but this woman right here just asked him to get inside her bare and fuck if it doesn’t tempt him.
And so he gives in, but not before asking, “Are you sure?”
“As sure as one can be.”
He nods, bringing his lips back to hers. His hand finds her thong under the dress as he slides it down her legs. Then he strokes a single line up and down her slit, wetting his finger with her cum. When he brings the same finger to his mouth and sucks on it, _____ all but whimpers.
His cock follows next and he does the same with it, rubbing himself up and down her slit as he coats himself in her before he presses his thumb down on the head of his cock, curls his hips forward, and pushes into her.
Tortuously slowly, inch by fucking inch.
She’s so warm and tight for him. He’s not sure how long he can take before he shoots his load inside of her.
“More.” she pleads, her face morphing into the most beautiful expression of pleasure.
Jungkook pulls back and pushes again, watching more of a length disappear inside of her. He’s not even halfway in and she’s already crying out his name.
Leaning in, he bites her neck in an attempt to give her his all. All his love, all his nights and all his life. The question is at the tip of his tongue but considering what happened inside, he quickly holds himself back.
“You’re doing so good for me, my angel. Taking me so well,” He thrusts again. “You’re made for me, aren’t you?”
She cries out.
“What was that?” She throws her head back. “Yes. Oh my god”
Thrust. “Yes, what baby? I’m gonna need you to say it.”
Jungkook takes her nipple in his mouth, sucking on it until she cries out again, “I’m made for you. Fuck.”
He releases the nipple with a loud pop. “That’s right you are.” His pelvic bone is flush with hers, ____’s legs as wide as possible to accommodate him. She dusts her fingertips up and down his spine while he slowly kisses along her jaw.
When she pushes her heels into his ass, urging him to move, he pulls out part way before pushing back in again.
She lets out a moan quickly followed by his own. _____’s hands run over Jungkook’s abs, nipples, and wrap around his shoulders.
He’s fucking her slowly, taking his time, feeling her body and letting her feel his too. Every brush, every graze, every breath is precious to him.
Soft and intimate.
So when the next words leave Jungkook’s mouth, he blames it on the moment. “Marry me.”
_____’s eyes which were closed earlier, savoring the very moment, pop open and his movement halts.
“What?”
“Fuck. Okay, I know this is not a position or place a woman wants to be proposed in, but I have to say this before I go insane. _____, I know you’re scared and I also know the reason behind it. Of course, I won’t ask you why you kept that part a secret from me, because I respect you and want you to take your time. But baby,” he brushes his thumb over her cheekbone, “I need you to know that I will die before I let anything like that go down between us. I love you so much you don’t even realise. Sometimes I even shock myself with how much I cherish you. You’re a gift to me, a gift which brings out the best not just in me but in everyone she meets.”
He places a small kiss on her forehead before continuing, “I can go anywhere, see everything but it still wouldn’t match the level of affection I hold for you in my heart. Still wouldn’t match the beauty of your smile, you amazing woman. You’re all I have ever wanted. So please, make me the happiest motherfucker in the world by saying ye-”
“Yes”
‘What?”
“Yes, I’ll marry you. Now will you please shut up fuck me like you promised, husband?”
He bites her jaw, “Oh, I’ll fuck you so nice you’ll be begging for more, wife.”
Soon enough, _____’s lower lip trembles as her orgasm takes over, and he has the privilege to watch it all. The fluttering of her lashes, the marks of her nail down his arm and the way she calls him her husband again when she’s able to find her words.
He’s so gone.
About half an hour later when he asks her again as to what changed her mind about marriage, she says something so deep yet in such a casual way, he wants to cry.
“When I hugged you inside, you didn’t ask questions. You just let me be and that may seem like a miniscule thing for someone else, but for me it was enough. Enough to stay with you until I turn all wrinkly and grey haired.”
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....hi everyone......... i know that some of you already know about this but i have a bl comic that is currently being published on lezhin. it's called "처음의 여름" or "a first of summers". it's explicit and i'd be really happy if anyone who is interested in this type of thing or my art gives it a read.
you can read the english version at: https://www.lezhinus.com/en/comic/first_summer
(or the korean version here if you're into that): https://lezhin.com/ko/comic/first_of_summers
you can also follow me on twitter: https://x.com/pppanghouse
i have gotten many messages asking me if i was the one behind a first of summers (because apparently my art style is very recognizable i can't hide from you guys!!), and i've been ignoring them for months (sorry, everyone) because i was never fully proud of the work that i was putting out there. i still don't think i am at a point where i can confidently promote my work like a normal person would because me and shame are like this -> 🫂. but i am working on getting better at managing my shame and making this post is a step towards that goal. in a way, i felt more reluctant to post about it here because i see the connections i've made on tumblr as real tangible friendships rather than parasocial ones so it's even more embarrassing.
as a lover of yaoi, slice of life and queer media, i tried to make something that i personally would like to read, in an art style that i would have found inspirational when i started digital art. here are some panels that i am kind of proud of ahh hee hee







to be honest it feels very very weird to "make a story" and "share it with people", because i've never done something like this before and having to offer my personal themes and internal symbols to people in the hopes that some of you may resonate with them feels like i'm running down the street with my whole ass out in the open. idk how people do this.
also, i know a lot of you consume media illegally and i know that i alone can't stop you from doing that. which is why i'm all the more thankful to anyone who chooses to support me by buying the chapters on the official websites. i'm slowly learning that this (working on stories and drawing) might be something i want to keep doing and get better at, so i'm so deeply grateful to those who make that possible for me by supporting me financially. it always feels super nice when people show appreciation for my art and recommend it to other people and talk about it.
anyways, so that's me. i have a lot more to say but this post has already gotten long enough, and none of it includes any information on what the comic is about lol so here's a short synopsis: hyeonseon is a 40yo divorced salaryman who, after having a bit of a midlife crisis about where he is at in life, decides to learn electric guitar. his teacher, yeoreum (which means summer) is a 24yo college student who is also having a bit of a crisis of his own aaaand falls for the older dude. uhhhh and as i said it's explicit they are fucking it oppa homo style, and it does deal with themes related to age gaps but please don't come for meeeee!!!!!!!! i tried to make it tasteful and chose to work with age gaps because i had something to say about the concept of adulthood/life, also i enjoy a dude who's a little old getting dicked down by a younger lad what do you want me to say, damn......
if you have any nice things to say about my work then weeheee please go ahead, thank you

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Knowing You

Azriel was intimidating, scary—a menacing presence in almost every setting. But not to you. Never to you.
Tattoo Artist!Azriel x Elementary School Teacher!Reader (1k words, modern au)
~~
“Why’s your boyfriend all…pissed off?”
“Huh?” You spun your head around, finding Azriel towering over everyone else in the room, a scowl seemingly permanent on his face. His eyes narrowed from time to time, taking in the crowd and its unwillingness to calm. He remained plastered to the back wall.
“Oh,” you laughed, turning back to your friend with your fingertips drumming against your jaw. “He’s not pissed. That’s just his face.”
Your friend’s brows jumped up to her hairline. “He always looks like that?”
“He doesn’t look that angry.”
“Absolutely no one is approaching him. This is a party. He looks about ready to pummel that tiny guy next to him.”
“He’s just a little intimidating,” you reasoned. “And—hey, look!” you pointed over your shoulder. “He smiled a little, see?”
She scoffed, sipping her beer. “I don’t get it. You’re all… well, you. And he’s all dark and mysterious and—honestly kinda scary.”
You chewed on your bottom lip and turned further to inspect the man you had been in a relationship with for the better half a year. Was he scary? You certainly didn’t think so. Maybe a little at first. Maybe when you walked into that tattoo shop with your friend and his dark gaze almost burned a hole in your head. But not now. Never now.
“You don’t really get him, that’s all.”
“And you do? He’s got a whole thing going on that you shouldn’t be tied up in,” your friend urged, but this was hardly the time for long, important conversations. You were tipsy and the music was too loud and, to be honest, you’d heard it all before already. Nothing was going to change your mind about Azriel.
“Are you even listening, y/n? You’re polar opposites. And you said that he smiles but I have still yet to see one since—oh.”
Azriel spotted you then—his goal from the moment he walked into this overly crowded house. He hadn’t been pissed. He’d been looking for you.
And it was clear that he spotted you, because the second he did a wide grin split up his perfect face. It simmered a bit when he realized your friend was observing the scene, but a quirk of his mouth still remained. He started his path to you then, weaving in and out of the inebriated crowd.
He touched you the moment he could, his hand meeting the small of your back as you sat on the creaky kitchen stool. His lips pressed against your temple and a murmured greeting was lost in your hair. He was lost in the bubble he created each time he had you in his grasp, your bright eyes and adoring smile rendering him unmoveable, but then your friend subtly cleared her throat and Azriel looked away.
“Hello, Amber,” Azriel greeted, keeping your body slotted into the crook of his arm. “Having fun?”
She blinked at him. He really was intimidating, especially up close. Even with the heightened bar stools, he was a good head over where the two of you sat.
“Um, yes, thank you.”
“And the summer break?” he questioned. He had started to rub circles into your spine.
Amber stuttered again, thoughts lost in her head before replying, “It was good. I’m sorry—how do you know my name?”
“Y/n’s mentioned you. I’ve seen your Instagram, too. Connected the dots.”
“Right,” Amber nodded, her eyes trailing down the vast array of tattoos that wound up from the neck of Azriel’s shirt.
Azriel then looked back down to you. His voice was low, almost too low for the pounding music, but he made up for that by pressing up closer to you. “Are you ready to go, sweetheart?”
You giggled at the feel of his breath at your ear, pushing him away slightly in a haze. He only shook his head and smiled at the space you’d created.
“Trying to flirt with me in public? Azriel, you are scandalous.”
He only breathed out a laugh, gaze bouncing between your glossy eyes. Once you stopped giggling enough to meet his stare, his expression softened. “You told me to pick you up at eleven. You have a lesson plan, pretty girl.”
You gasped, slapping a hand against Azriel's chest that didn’t even have him flinching. You whipped your head over to Amber—who was staring at the two of you in confused amusement —and hurriedly offered, “I have to go! Third grade!”
In his efforts to capture your attention, Azriel had woven both of his arms around you to meet at your lower back, a hold that you now shot out of. You wobbled as you pressed out of the stool and grabbed Azriel’s leather sleeve. An unnecessary gesture; anyone at this party could see that the man would follow you anywhere.
“I didn’t prep the multiplication tables,” you rambled, words slurring together.
“You did. I helped you with the formatting on the iPad.”
“I let you touch my iPad?” you gasped.
“No, sweetheart. It was mine.”
“Your work one?”
Azriel only continued to guide you out of the party, you none the wiser to the dirty looks he was shooting everyone too drunk to get out of the way.
“Let’s get back to your apartment, okay? Then we can deal with the iPad.”
You giggled, springing off the threshold to the front door and giving Azriel a heart attack. “Okay!”
#azriel x reader#azriel x you#azriel x female!reader#azriel shadowsinger#azriel spymaster#azriel acotar#azriel fanfic#azriel x y/n#acotar#acotar fanfiction#modern au
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Oops.
You can see the moment Leo’s heart breaks…
BEGINNING || PREVIOUS || NEXT MASTER POST
AFTERMATH (extra reading material)
Hope you enjoyed this little Replica Intermission flashback as we head into the Holiday Special that happens a few years after this. To be honest, this was as much of a peek into the earlier years of the Central Park Colony as it was a character study. I really wanted to get a handle on how these boys were in their early-mid twenties before diving into the special because they become very different people by their thirties.
TED Talk below on the details of this scene...
I really grappled with the concept of how long it would take for the boys to figure out that the statue was the key. Most interpretations seem to assume they figure it out right away, but honestly, without CJ there to warn them in advance and tell them what it looks like they don't have a lot to go off of aside from Splinter's vague mention of a key. The fact that the Krang were praised by the Foot is enough to set off Donnie's alarms but... with the Foot already gone by the time the Krang make their grand appearance on Metro Tower, the connection can only be hypothesized.
Honestly, I think Donnie would still go to Raph first, a breach in conduct but given the sensitivity of the subject and fear of accusing Leo it seems on brand. Raph ultimately would make the choice not to tell Leo until they knew for certain... which they never did. So it was put off longer and longer until it finally came back to bite them all at the worst possible time. If the colony finds out what Leo did... it could be disastrous. At the same time, Leo's trust in his brothers has been shaken, though it still pales in comparison to the fresh, crushing blow in knowing that it was all his fault. ...Don't worry, he'll be feeling a bit better by the time of the Holiday Special.
#rottmnt replica#replica#rottmnt#kathaynesart#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#unpause rottmnt#save rottmnt
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i've been itching to share my swap au since i thought it up, but i think i now finally have an actual baseline to introduce it with!!
the idea isn't that it's a personality swap, but a role swap, with wander and sylvia as antagonists and hater and peepers as the protags, and i have a whole lot to say about it so im gonna go ahead and infodump below the cut
so i've renamed these two, at least, since hater's story has become less about getting over himself and more about how he sees the world Now That He's Gotten Over Himself. i'm calling him The Great (and absent) Lord Lackadaisical right now, but i don't think that's what he'd like to be called, since he's an absent ruler who doesn't really care to be in a position of so much power and would rather fuck off to all the planets with really nice hot tubs. he and Sir Peepers (his loyal knight who cannot be convinced to leave his side) travel the galaxy with hater's sweet ride (i'm not too good at designing motorcycles yet. pending).
i haven't thought of new names/titles for wander and sylvia just yet (i cannot just call him Sitter Over Therer) but i do know what their deal is, and it's the main reason i made this au (i feel like if wander were a villain he would not in fact be a villain like lord hater or dominator because i think that kinda disregards wander's whole Shit, he'd be like screwball, and even then he'd have very strong convictions that he's doing the right thing): wander has a cult (a hivemind, kinda) and sylvia is his priest.
i think wander comes along this mushroom during a time in his life when everything seems to have been torn asunder, and instead of continuing his adventures and learning and growing as a person, the mushroom offers a solution that doesn't require much effort on his behalf. the mushroom links people together borg-style, makes them share a brain and a purpose. wander not only thinks it's super neat, but he's in such a poor state of mind when he finds it, he convinces himself it's the only way to make the galaxy a better place.
sylvia is the only person in his Ring of Friends who isn't hooked up to the mushroom, because she's actually wander's friend, and she's his ride or die. she does the things she does out of free will and dedication to her best friend, including preaching and fisticuffs.
^^^ here's some more of my initial concept art. originally the mushroom was gonna be a tree, but i had a vision of an upside down mushroom (or several, to take the place of watchdogs) scuttling around and by god is it easy to make that look like his hat.
the thing that really really pushes wander over the edge is the sheer boredom of it all. when he's connected to the mushroom, he's very little more than the brain they all share. he can't move around, and that KILLS him (see: the hole lotta nuthin). so when hater (name pending) comes along and refuses to join him and annoys him enough, he gets suuuuper stoked about having something to really DO for once.
anyway. this is what i've got for now. do you like it. you can be honest if you dont like it
#myart#wander over yonder#wander#lord hater#commander peepers#sylvia the zbornak#lord lackadaisical#sir peepers#uhhhhhhhhh. whatever i end up tagging swap wander and sylvia as#txt#swap au#swap wander#sister sylvia
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— 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐞𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲’𝐫𝐞 𝐣𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐬 [𝐝𝐞𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐝]
pm me for an affordable, in-depth personal reading!
— 𝐩𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐚 𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞!
— 𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝟏
they won’t always say they’re jealous out loud. not at first. it’ll show in small ways. like a sudden shift in their energy, their tone getting a little sharper, or them going quiet for just a second too long. their eyes will give them away before their mouth ever does. they’ll look at you like they’re trying to figure something out, like they’re watching too closely.
they’ll try to act unbothered at first. play it cool. brush it off like it’s nothing. but underneath, they’ll be thinking a lot. overthinking, honestly. wondering if they have to compete for your attention, even if you’ve given them no reason to feel that way. because when they care, they care deeply. and jealousy, for them, comes from that same place. it’s not about control. it’s about fear. fear of losing something they’re scared to admit matters that much.
they might get more affectionate. clingier in a subtle way. reaching for your hand more, showing up where you are, giving compliments that feel extra specific, as if they’re reminding you that they know you better than anyone else. and they do. they just get scared sometimes. especially if they see you shining or connecting with others in a way that makes them feel replaceable.
sometimes, they’ll get defensive. tease you a little too hard. make sarcastic comments that feel light on the surface but have heat underneath. and if they really feel pushed, they might pull back completely. not because they’re done. but because they’re hurt. they’d rather retreat than admit they’re jealous. pride gets in the way. they don’t want to seem weak.
but once they feel safe again. once you look them in the eyes and show them there’s no threat, no competition, no one else taking up the space they want to hold. they soften. they open back up. maybe even admit it. “i was jealous,” they’ll say, half embarrassed, half honest. and it’ll mean something when they do. because they don’t share that part of themselves with just anyone.
when they’re jealous, it’s messy in a quiet way. not explosive. not toxic. just very human. they want to be your favorite person, and when they feel like they’re not, it rattles them. but if you love them right. if you show up, reassure, and keep things honest. they learn to manage it. and they’ll love you even more for making them feel chosen. again and again.
— 𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝟐
when your soulmate gets jealous, it’s not loud or obvious. they don’t yell, they don’t accuse, and they don’t start fights. instead, it shows up quietly. at first, they’ll act like everything is fine, maybe even go out of their way to seem extra calm or cheerful. they might smile the same way, say all the right things, but there’s something just a little off. something in their eyes, in the way they pause before answering, in the way they seem distracted when they usually give you their full attention.
they’re proud. they don’t want to be the kind of person who gets jealous. they might even feel silly for it. so they try to hide it, to bury the feeling under politeness and jokes and “it’s nothing, don’t worry about it.” they’re the kind of person who overthinks when they’re hurt. they’ll replay a conversation again and again in their head, wondering if they misunderstood, wondering if they’re being too sensitive. they don’t want to lose you, and that fear — no matter how small — makes them hesitate.
so instead of telling you right away, they pull back just a little. maybe they take longer to text you back. maybe they stop calling as often. maybe they stop asking so many questions about your day. not because they don’t care — but because they care too much, and they’re scared of what the answers might be. they’re trying to protect themselves from getting hurt.
and yet, at the same time, they’re still watching. still noticing. they catch every smile you give someone else, every time you talk about someone new, every inside joke they’re not part of. and it stings. not in a possessive way, but in that quiet ache of “i hope i’m enough.” they start to question things they never used to question. is this just a phase? are you drifting away? are they imagining it? they don’t want to ask, because they’re afraid the answer might confirm their worst fear.
but jealousy doesn’t mean they don’t trust you. it means they love you deeply, and that love feels a little fragile sometimes. it means you matter so much that the idea of losing your attention, your affection, your warmth — it shakes them. and when it gets too much, when holding it in feels heavier than letting it out, they’ll come to you. quietly, cautiously, with soft eyes and hesitant words. they’ll probably start with “this might sound dumb but…” or “i know it’s probably nothing…” because they’re not trying to start a fight. they’re just trying to be honest. they’re trying to say, “i care. i noticed. and it made me feel small for a second.”
and what they really want — what their heart is hoping for — is not an apology, not a promise, not even an explanation. they just want you to see them. to notice that they’re hurting. to hold space for their vulnerability. to say, even in a small way, “i’m not going anywhere. you still matter most.”
when they’re jealous, they don’t need drama or attention. they need tenderness. reassurance. a gentle hand, a kind word, a look that says, “you don’t have to worry. i’m still here.” because behind their quiet distance is someone who loves you more than they know how to say. someone who is learning, little by little, that love is safe here. and that they don’t have to hide their heart to keep it from breaking.
— 𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝟑
they’ll try to keep it together on the outside. they won’t always say what they’re feeling. instead, they’ll pull back just a little, like they’re trying to hide what’s bothering them. they’ll overthink it, replaying the moment in their head. they’ll feel this storm of emotion — insecurity, protectiveness, fear of losing you — but they’ll try to keep it controlled. they might go quiet, seem more serious, act a bit colder than usual. they’ll retreat a bit, like they’re trying to get themselves under control before speaking.
jealousy hits them hard, not because they don’t trust you, but because they care so much it scares them. you’re someone they feel deeply for. and that depth comes with fear — fear of not being enough, of losing what they love. it’s not that they want to control you. it’s just that when they care, they care fully. and they’ve likely been hurt before. their past might make them wary, guarded. they may try to act like they’re above those emotions, like they’re stronger than that — but inside, it eats at them.
when they’re jealous, they’ll be more observant. they’ll notice everything. who you talk to. how long. the tone in your voice. they won’t say it out loud, but their body will — a clenched jaw, arms crossed, that slight shift in their energy. they’ll want to know they’re still the one you want. and when they feel threatened, they’ll battle with themselves: do they say something or stay quiet and seem strong?
but even with all that, the truth is: they don’t want to hurt you or start a fight. they’ll try to work through it internally first. they’ll think about whether it’s their own insecurities talking. but if it gets too heavy, they’ll eventually open up — and when they do, it’ll be honest and raw. they’ll tell you they just didn’t know where they stood, or that they got scared. because jealousy, for them, is really just a fear of losing something they’ve finally found.
you’ll also notice that when they’re jealous, there’s a strong desire to prove something. to reclaim space in your heart. they’ll show up more — not with anger, but with intention. they’ll remind you of your bond, of what you share. maybe through affection, maybe through effort, maybe through a little possessiveness that’s more protective than toxic. they’ll want to make sure you still see them, still choose them.
they’re someone who feels big emotions in quiet ways. someone who leads with strength but underneath just wants to be loved deeply and not left behind. jealousy won’t turn them cruel — it’ll make them ache. but with time, trust, and reassurance, they’ll learn that love doesn’t have to come with fear. and you’ll see the light come back in them, softer, more secure — because when they feel safe, they shine.
𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 !
hi! it’s daphne here.
i’m currently offering personal readings for €7 and soulmate readings for €14 so don’t hesitate to send me a private message if you’re interested!
thank you for being here!
#pick a pile#tarot#free reading#personal readings#pick a card#pile 1#pile 2#pile 3#pick an image#free tarot reading#tarot reading#pac tarot#pac#tarot messages#tarot pick a card#pac reading#pick a photo#level up journey#pick a picture#astrology#soulmate#astrology community#tarotcommunity#divination#tarot deck#witchcraft#astro posts#astrology notes#astro notes
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23 things I learned in 2023:
Breaking promises to yourself is essentially telling yourself you’re not worthy of commitment or effort.
Listen to people when they tell you who they are.
People put their best foot forward when they first meet you. If they’re already being shitty, it’s likely only going downhill from here.
Self-care isn’t always indulging instant gratification and not doing hard things. I was actually at my most fulfilled when I did hard things DESPITE not feeling like it.
If you’re clinging to other people for fulfillment or validation, you probably don’t like yourself very much.
It’s never the end of the world like we think it is.
If someone wants to walk out of your life, let them. Never be in the business of changing people, even when it comes to changing how they think about you.
Brutally honest communication is everything, but that can also coincide with tactful kindness. Neither is mutually exclusive.
Having a routine makes a massive difference.
Comparison is pointless. No one else has been dealt the same cards you’ve been dealt.
Envy is a waste of time. Instead of being envious of other people, view them as proof of concept.
Self-accountability is important. We are fallible and it’s okay to make mistakes; we just need to own up to them.
Every failure is an opportunity for growth.
Every severed friendship, failed opportunity, lost connection etc etc leaves space for better things to replace it.
We are not tethered to people’s image of us. We are free to change ourselves whenever we please.
It’s not other people’s way, but it’s my way—and that’s all that matters.
Someone denying you love does not erase you.
Piggybacking off the last point—someone not acknowledging the virtues you have doesn’t mean that you don’t have those virtues.
All that really matters are the opinions of the handful of people who truly love you, as well as your opinion of yourself.
Waiting at least 15 minutes before reacting to something. Never trust yourself during the moments when something just hits (learned this the hard way).
Situations are complex and almost never a one size fits all. Asking for advice is okay, but take it with a grain of salt/ultimately follow your own judgment.
Social media isn’t the devil, but scrolling endlessly is. Make an intentional effort to supplant screen time with books and hobbies and friends and tangible, real life things.
We all die one day. None of this is that deep and none of this really matters. Stop taking things so seriously and just enjoy the process 🤍
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Hiii!!!! Can you do a Charles Leclerc x reader fic maybe during F1 75 Charles and reader who’s maybe a public figure were sitting at the same table. Either as a wag or ambassador (or both?) and when the host (i forgot his name) makes that joke about his fiancée and him thinking about Charles when they’re together but what if instead of him saying he thinks about Charles, he says he thinks about reader and Charles does something about it?
Not really sure about this but I’m interested in however you’d write it if you do!
Get Your Hands Off My Woman
charles leclerc x reader
or... the one where everyone had to keep their eyes off you
word count : 812
warning : jealous charles, prick jack, english is not my first language!!!
on the radio : miss possesive by tate mcrae



🍹🎹
sitting at the f1 75 gala, you’re trying your best to keep a low profile, though it’s proving difficult given the company at your table. between the bright lights of the cameras and the chatter of the other guests, you’re grateful to be here as a plus one, supporting charles, rather than for your own public persona. you glance at him beside you, the corners of his mouth lifting into a soft smile when he notices you looking. his hand rests on your knee under the table, a small gesture of affection that helps ground you in the chaos.
the night has been flowing smoothly, until jack whitehall, the evening’s host, takes the stage. his jokes have been light and funny so far, poking fun at drivers and their teams, and everyone is enjoying themselves. but then, jack’s attention shifts toward your table, and a mischievous smile creeps onto his face.
“ah, the beautiful people,” jack begins, eyes flicking over you and charles. “and speaking of beauty, charles, mate, you’re one of the lucky ones, aren’t you?”
charles laughs softly, though you notice a slight shift in his posture, his grip tightening ever so slightly on your knee. you smile politely, trying to prepare yourself for whatever jack might say next.
“but I have to be honest, every time my fiancée and I are, you know, in bed, I can’t help but think about someone else. someone much, much better looking.”
the crowd titters with laughter, charles raises an eyebrow, and you feel your cheeks flush. surely he’s not going where you think he is.
“yeah, charles,” jack continues, smirking, “I’m talking about your girl.”
the room bursts into laughter, but all you can hear is the ringing in your ears. you tense up, unsure whether to laugh it off or let your irritation show. charles’ jaw tightens next to you, his hand now gripping your knee firmly, a sign that he’s not as amused as everyone else seems to be.
jack is still laughing when charles shifts beside you, and before you know it, he’s standing up, speaking into the microphone that’s connected to the camera which is filing his reaction closely.
“you know,” charles says, his voice calm but firm, “I’d appreciate it if you didn’t talk about her like that.”
the room falls quiet almost instantly, the air thick with tension. your heart is racing now, the attention of the entire room shifting toward your table. you glance at charles, surprised but touched by his protective tone.
jack stammers, clearly caught off guard. “oh, uh, no harm meant, mate. just a joke.”
“I understand,” charles replies, still composed, though there’s an edge to his voice now, “but she’s not part of the joke.”
there’s an awkward pause as the tension lingers in the room, and you can feel eyes on you from all directions. but charles doesn’t back down, his hand still resting protectively on your knee, thumb stroking gently now as if to reassure you.
jack tries to recover, offering a sheepish grin. “right, right. my bad, my bad. lovely couple, by the way. very jealous.”
the crowd chuckles, the atmosphere starting to ease back into something more relaxed, though you can still feel the weight of the moment pressing down on you. you glance at charles, and he gives you a small smile, his eyes softening as they meet yours.
when the attention finally shifts away from your table, you let out a breath you didn’t realize you’d been holding. charles leans in closer, his lips brushing your ear as he murmurs, “are you okay?”
you nod, though you can’t help but feel a little flustered by the whole exchange. “yeah,” you whisper back, “I’m fine.”
charles’ fingers gently squeeze your knee, his expression still serious as he looks at you. “I don’t like when people talk about you like that.”
“I know,” you say softly, touched by his protectiveness, “but you didn’t have to say anything.”
“of course I did,” he replies, his voice low but firm. “you deserve respect.”
his words send a warmth spreading through your chest, and you feel yourself relax a little, leaning into his side. he presses a soft kiss to your temple, the gesture both sweet and reassuring.
“thank you,” you murmur, resting your hand on his thigh under the table.
he doesn’t say anything, but the way he looks at you, the way his hand remains steady and comforting on your knee, says enough. he may be a world-class driver, someone who thrives under pressure on the track, but moments like this remind you just how deeply he cares - about you, about protecting you, even from a simple joke.
as the night continues, the buzz of conversation and laughter resumes around you, but in the quiet space between you and charles, everything feels just a little bit lighter.
————————————————————————————
© all rights reserved to folkwhoreberry. no stealing or copying will be tolerated.
a/n : jack whitehall slander is slandering and I’m HERE for it. proud hater since he made that joke about one direction in f1 75!!!
#folkwhoreberry#f1#f1 x reader#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc#charles leclerc x you#charles leclerc x y/n#x reader
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a small request



max verstappen x reader | 2k
even world champions deserve love letters. after missing the mexico gp, you're determined to see max have a good weekend in brazil. maybe all it takes is a handwritten note.
cw: fem!reader, being in love, softness, a track-side kiss, love letters. and google translate, sorry to any dutch speakers.
a/n: was this inspired by that video from austin? yeah, it was! sue me! also, written/posted before the gp, so. no race details <3 xx
__
You miss race weekend in Mexico. It happens. You can't be there every weekend, much as you'd like to be. You're even more peeved about it after, considering you quite like Carlos and wish you had seen him earn what very well might be his last win with Ferrari. But you're mostly upset because Max, though he won't say so, could probably have used your support.
Years of experience have him calm, cool, and collected despite the team troubles. Flippant, some headlines say. Mad Max, others. But you know he's probably just tired. Tired of the media, of the FIA, of the churning conflict between him and Lando -- something you all knew was coming someday, but maybe not so suddenly. The longest season ever continues to drag and drag and drag.
"Twenty seconds was...Christ, Max," you say. You know what happened, of course. You watched what you could, saw the sharp moves around the corner and heard the radios. It never gets easier, watching him take risks like that. Usually, everyone else backs off, but McLaren can see victory on the horizon and won't let it go. You can't blame them, either of them, you just wish it was all a bit less tense.
"I know," he says, voice raspy over the connection. "I -- well, you know how I feel about it. Don't want to say anything in case the FIA is tapping my phone."
You laugh into your hand so you don't disturb the other people in the airline lounge, not entirely used to places like this, still. Max has told you over and over that it's absurd for you to spend your own money when you're coming to see him all over the world. When you told him you moved things around so you could come to Brazil, he booked you the nicest ticket, per usual.
"Oh, ha, ha," you say. "Don't give them any ideas, Mr. Community Service." You sigh. "Do you need anything? Be honest."
"Aren't you at the airport already? Your flight should be leaving in --" A pause, like he's checking his watch -- "forty minutes."
You glance up at the departures screen. He's right, but you don't give it to him so easily. "Know my schedule, do you?"
"Well, I booked your ticket, so I should think so."
"Your assistant booked it, you mean."
He hums and you picture him in his hotel room, maybe at the window, looking over the city. "I know your flight information. Don't be silly."
"I mean it, Max," you say again. "Is there anything I can do to make the weekend better?" It's a bit of a useless question and you expect him to answer with a snarky get me a new car or apply for the position of steward.
But he doesn't. He clears his throat.
"I'm just glad you're coming," he says, softly. "I've missed you."
You never doubt how Max feels about you, but he must be pretty tired to admit it like this. He's all about actions, this man. Making sure you have what you need when you're at the track, arranging your travel, remembering your schedule. He shows you how much you matter, and that's more than enough. He never wants to make you feel bad for having a life beyond being his girlfriend. And this doesn't, not really. It just makes you ache, fills your chest with the hopeless affection you've felt for him for so long.
"I've missed you, too," you reply. "But I'd like to be useful."
"Oh, I can think of a few things, then," Max says, all of a sudden all cheek. Such a boy, sometimes. A boy in love.
You can't help but laugh, face hot. "Hush, you!"
He huffs. A few beats of silence, the comfortable, well-worn kind. Sometimes, when he's halfway across the world and up late on the sim, he'll call you just to hear you breathe.
"Max?"
"I -- do you remember what you did for my birthday?"
He'd wanted something small, quiet. There was a lot of work to be done with the team but three weekends off meant you had a little time to yourselves. A few days hardly leaving his place, a dinner with some of the guys, a cake you made yourself, hand-delivered in bed. Gifts for a very wealthy man are difficult, especially since Max doesn't seem to want much.
"Oh, the pillow with my face on it?"
Max laughs. The lounge loudspeaker announces that your flight is going to board soon, so you gather your things but keep your phone wedged next to your ear.
"No, the other thing," he says. He clears his throat and summons some of that World Champion courage. "The letter."
You'd written him a fairly long love letter, thinking it would be a nice thing to carry to the races you couldn't be at this fall. It was tempting to be embarrassed about it when you gave it to him the morning of his birthday, but his cheeks had gone pink and he'd buried his face in your neck.
"Oh, that," you say. The airport is busier outside the lounge and you push your case in the direction of your gate weaving between. people.
"You could write me another, maybe."
Max is direct. He is honest, at work and at home, but this surprises you a little.
"You do know I'm about to get on a plane to see you, right?"
He huffs, and you imagine his cheeks pink, eyes bright. "You asked!"
"I'll write you another love letter, Max Verstappen," you assure him. "I'll write you a hundred."
"One is a fine start," he says firmly. "You should be boarding soon, and I've got to go to the press conference. Text me when you've landed?"
"Of course," you reply, eyes rolling though he can't see. "I'll see you soon, okay? Love you."
"Love you, liefje."
On the plane, you tear out some pages from your journal. You'd prefer to have some nice stationery like what you wrote on for his birthday, but maybe this is more romantic, more real. Making do with that you've got because he asked.
In the last one, you told him your memories of when you first met. How your stomach swooped when you made him laugh, how his blue eyes wouldn't leave your dreams. In this one you tell him about when you first realized you loved him. How absurdly early you were sure, how badly you wanted to tell him for weeks. The way you remember every second of when you blurted it out -- his face, his smile. His voice in your ear, telling you over and over, geliefde, ik houd van je, zo veel. I love you, so much.
"You're working hard on that," someone says. You look up at your seatmate, a woman a few decades older than you with a heavy accent.
You feel a little like you've been caught doing something illicit, but you just smile at her. "For my boyfriend," you tell her. "A love letter."
She flattens her palm over heart and sighs. "How lovely," she coos. "I hope he takes care of you, too."
We take care of each other, you want to say. You could tell her about how he sends you postcards from every country he goes to after you told him you like to put them on your fridge. You could tell her how sometimes you text him during his streams to make him laugh on camera. How he remembers your favorites, how he saves you his special team gear, how he sends you flowers all the time. How he likes to sit on the couch, your toes under his thigh, fingers around your ankle. How you've been learning Dutch and how he patiently corrects your pronunciation. You could go on and on and on.
"He does," you say instead.
__
The plane lands safely in Brazil, but the pilot tells you that there is no open gate and that you'll be sitting for a while. You text Max.
stuck on tarmac, will be later than expected! :(
He must be in media responsibilities still because he doesn't reply until you finally get off the plane.
go relax at the hotel. i'll see you for dinner!
You find your ride easy enough and take a deep breath. The letter you wrote on the plane feels heavy in your pocket, and you just want to see Max. To be near him again. To give him this small thing he asked for.
"Excuse me," you say to the driver. "Do you think we could go to the track, instead?"
You text Max's assistant to say you're headed there, hoping it's not too much of an inconvenience. You're told he's almost done, maybe an hour left, and when you arrive you're led to his driver rooms. His shit is everywhere, per usual. Max is quite neat except in here -- Carmen once told you that George is the same. Clothes strewn about, his race boots unlaced and left in the way, warm-up equipment in a pile. On the table are a few of his things -- his wallet, a notebook, some papers.
Wait a second. One of those papers looks...familiar. It's been folded in three, the envelope it came in nowhere to be seen. His name is scrawled on the blank side in your hand and when you tug it from the pile you can see that it's creased, the edges a little more worn than when you gave it to him a few months ago. Max Verstappen, three-time World Champion, actually carries around the love letter you wrote him. Brings it to the track. It's darling. You love him so much. You pull the new one from your pocket and set them side-by-side on the table where he'll find them.
You ask to be taken to the pit wall, please, so you can see whatever the drivers are doing on track. Some dedication, you're told. The timing ends up being perfect and you get there just as they're finishing. You lean on a gap in the barrier where, on Sunday, crew members will be holding timing signs as the drivers zip around the hot pavement. The crowd in the stands is loud, as always, and maybe you imagine it but it seems to get a little louder when you look out.
The guys are talking amongst themselves and a few of them wave at you. You spot Max as he turns away from Charles and you can't help but grin. His eyes meet yours under his cap and his entire face chances, softens, and he breaks into a jog. You lean out over the concrete ledge and meet him in a kiss that's more two smiles pressed together than anything else.
"This is a surprise," he says when he pulls away. Eyes sparkling, he shows no signs of rejoining the other drivers as they head to whatever their next thing is. Photos, probably.
"I missed you," you tell him. "I've left you something in your room."
"Oh?" He straightens the lanyard of your credentials with careful fingers.
You reach for him, palm on his cheek. His stubble tickles and he leans into it ever so slightly. It doesn't feel like there are thousands of eyes on you, not even a little.
"Yeah," you say. "As promised." Someone calls his name. "Go on, then. I'll be waiting."
He kisses you again, a quick brush of his lips on the corner of your mouth.
Later, you'll wake from your nap in the hotel room to those same kisses on your cheeks, your forehead. Max will gather you in his arms and tell you all the moments he almost told you he loved you, how he could hardly believe when you said it first. You'll tease him for how many times he's read that first letter and he'll cheekily say that's why he needs more. And you will write him more, you'll write him as many as he wants. As many as you can, for the rest of your lives.
But now, in front of thousands of screaming fans, he smiles at only you, boyish and pleased.
#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen#max verstappen fanfic#mv33 x reader#f1 fanfic#my writing#mv33#fic: a small request#beep boop
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Heavy Love



Summary: Carlos got a surgery of his appendix but that doesn't stop him from treating his girl how he usually does
Song: Heavy Love - Odetari
Author’s note: Please like, reblog and share this! 🫶
Word count: 4.8k
MASTERLIST - F1
The fluorescent lights of the hospital room hummed, a sterile symphony that did little to soothe the anxiety churning in your stomach.
Carlos lay in the bed, pale but smiling, a testament to the surgery that had sliced through his appendix just days ago. You sat beside him, a vigil, your hand hovering just above his, afraid to touch too hard.
"You okay, babe?" he asked, his voice a little weaker than usual, but with that familiar teasing glint in his eyes.
"Yeah, just... thinking," you replied, tucking a stray strand of hair behind your ear. "Thinking about how much better you're going to feel when you're fully recovered."
He chuckled, a low, rumbling sound that made you wince internally. "You think I don't feel good now? I've got you here, fussing over me like a mother hen. What could be better?"
You shot him a playful glare. "Don't get cute. You nearly died. A burst appendix is not a joke, Carlos."
"I know, I know," he conceded, his smile softening. He reached out, his fingers brushing against yours. "But I'm here, thanks to you. You got me to the hospital in time."
You squeezed his hand gently, relief washing over you. "I was so scared."
The days that followed were a blur of cautious optimism and tireless care. You transformed into his personal nurse, meticulously following the doctor's instructions, making sure he took his medication, and preparing bland, easily digestible meals.
You read to him, watched movies with him, and kept him company during the endless hours of boredom.
But a strange tension had settled between you, a quiet distance born out of your fear. You were so acutely aware of his fragile state, of the stitches holding his abdomen together, that you hesitated to be the same way you were before.
Intimacy, once a natural and joyous part of your relationship, now felt like walking on eggshells.
He noticed, of course. Carlos always noticed.
"You're being weird," he said one evening as you were settling him in for the night.
"Weird how?" you asked, avoiding his gaze as you adjusted his pillows.
"Like you're afraid to breathe too loud in case I shatter," he chuckled.
"Don't be silly," you mumbled, fiddling with the remote control.
"Come on, be honest. You're acting like I'm made of glass. I appreciate the care, I really do. But you're treating me like I'm some delicate porcelain doll."
You finally met his eyes, your own filled with a mixture of worry and guilt. "I just… I don't want to hurt you. You're still recovering. What if I accidentally put pressure on your stitches, or something?"
He sighed, reaching for your hand again. "You're not going to hurt me. I know you're being careful."
"But…" you started to protest.
"But nothing," he interrupted gently. "I miss you. I miss us. And I'm not talking about running a marathon or anything. I just miss being close."
Your heart ached at his words. You missed it too, more than you could say. You missed the way he would pull you into his arms, the warmth of his body against yours, the feeling of being completely and utterly safe.
But the fear was a powerful force, a constant reminder of his recent brush with mortality.
"I don't know, Carlos," you whispered, tears welling up in your eyes. "I'm just so afraid of doing something wrong."
He pulled you closer, his arm carefully encircling your waist. "Hey," he murmured, his voice soothing. "Look at me. I know you're scared. But I'm okay. I promise. And I trust you. I trust you to be careful."
He leaned in and kissed you softly, a chaste, lingering kiss that sent a shiver down your spine. It wasn't the passionate, all-consuming kisses you were used to, but it was enough to remind you of the deep connection you shared.
"Please," he whispered against your lips. "Don't let this surgery change everything between us."
Over the next few weeks, you started to relax, to trust yourself and trust Carlos. You still took precautions, of course. You avoided strenuous activities and made sure he didn't overexert himself. But you also allowed yourselves to rediscover the intimacy you had lost.
Slowly, tentatively, you began to rebuild the bridge that fear had threatened to destroy. You started with simple things – cuddling on the couch while watching movies, holding hands during walks, sharing gentle kisses.
You talked, really talked, about your fears and anxieties, and about the importance of physical touch in your relationship.
One evening, as you were preparing dinner, Carlos came up behind you and wrapped his arms around your waist. You stiffened slightly, your muscles tensing in anticipation.
"Relax," he whispered in your ear, his breath warm against your skin. "I just want to hold you."
You leaned back against him, letting his warmth seep into you. "Are you sure you're okay?" you asked, your voice still laced with concern.
He chuckled. "I'm fine. You're not going to break me by standing here."
You closed your eyes, breathing in his familiar scent. "I love you," you whispered.
"I love you too," he replied, squeezing you tighter. "More than a functioning appendix can ever express."
You laughed, the sound lighter and more joyful than it had been in weeks.
"Can I kiss you?" he asked.
You smiled, a genuine, heartfelt smile that reached your eyes. "You don't have to ask."
He leaned in and kissed you, a slow, passionate kiss that deepened with each passing moment. You ran your fingers through his hair, relishing the feel of his body against yours.
When you finally broke apart, breathless, he looked at you with a hopeful expression. "Can we…?" he started, then hesitated. "Can we be… closer?"
You knew what he was asking. The fear was still there, lurking in the back of your mind, but it was no longer as overwhelming as it had been. You trusted him, and you trusted yourself.
"Yes," you whispered, your heart pounding in your chest. "But we take it slow, okay? And if anything hurts, you tell me immediately."
He grinned, his eyes sparkling with joy. "Deal."
"Wait until after dinner though," you muttered, a hint of a smile playing on your lips. "I don't want to get distracted and burn the food."
Carlos pouted, his eyes drifting to the tray of hospital cuisine that had been delivered earlier. "But I hate this hospital food," he begged.
"Nope, you have to eat," you said firmly, placing a hand on his cheek. "Do it for me." You tried to make it sound like a playful dare, but the underlying concern was clear.
He groaned, his eyes drifting to the tray of hospital food that looked as appealing as a soggy cardboard box. "Come on," he whined. "You know how much I hate this stuff."
"I do," you said, your voice laced with amusement. "But it's part of the deal. You want to get better, right?"
With a dramatic sigh, he picked up his plastic fork and poked at the lifeless pile of food on his tray. "Fine," he grumbled, taking a tiny bite. "But you're going to pay for this later."
You couldn't help but laugh, the tension between you momentarily easing. "How about I make you a deal?" you suggested. "If you eat all of this, I'll give you a little something extra to make it worth your while."
His eyes lit up. "What kind of extra?"
You leaned closer, your breath tickling his ear. "The kind of extra that involves me, you, and a lot of gentle touches."
He swallowed hard, the food suddenly seeming a bit more palatable. "Deal," he said, attacking the meal with renewed enthusiasm.
Each bite he took was a silent declaration of his love and desire for you, his stomach grumbling in protest but his resolve unwavering. You watched him with a smile, feeling a thrill of excitement building in your core.
As he worked his way through the meal, you couldn't help but let your mind wander to the promise you had made. Your body grew warm with anticipation, and you felt the familiar ache between your legs.
You had missed this, the thrill of the chase, the delicious buildup to something so much more satisfying than any meal could ever be.
When the last bite was gone, he looked at you expectantly. "Well?"
You took a deep breath, your hand shaking slightly as you reached for the tray. "Alright, you win," you said, setting it aside. "But only because you ate all your food."
He grinned mischievously. "I'm not just playing for fun, you know," he murmured, his hand sliding down to your waist, his fingers tracing the curve of your hip.
You felt your cheeks flush as you turned to face him. "What do you mean?"
Carlos' grin grew wider, his eyes darkening with desire. "I mean, I've missed feeling your body against mine, your breath on my skin, your touch driving me wild."
His hand moved to your cheek, his thumb tracing your jawline. "I want you, all of you. But we're going to take it slow, just like you said."
Your heart raced as he leaned in, capturing your lips in a soft, tentative kiss. His movements were cautious, as if he was afraid to startle you or cause him any pain.
You melted into him, the gentle pressure of his mouth on yours sending waves of need crashing through your body. Your hands found his shoulders, holding him close, as you deepened the kiss.
"Carlos," you murmured against his mouth, your voice filled with a desperation that had been building for weeks.
He pulled back slightly, searching your eyes for any signs of doubt. "Are you sure?"
You nodded, your pulse pounding in your throat. "Yes. I need this. We need this."
He smiled, a genuine, heartfelt smile that reached his eyes. "Okay, then. But…" he paused, his brow furrowing slightly. "We have to be careful. I don't want to rip my stitches."
You chuckled, relief flooding through you. "Believe me, I'm acutely aware of your stitches. We'll take it very, very slow."
He nodded, his eyes still filled with that hopeful look that made you want to do anything for him.
You moved closer, placing a soft kiss on the tip of his nose before trailing your lips down to the corner of his mouth, feeling the stubble of his unshaven cheek against your skin.
His eyes fluttered closed, a contented sigh escaping his lips as you continued to explore his face with gentle pecks.
"I've missed this," he whispered, his hand moving to the small of your back, his touch sending shivers down your spine.
You nodded, feeling the same longing. "Me too."
Taking his hand in yours, you led him to the bedroom, the dim light of the hallway casting shadows that danced across the wall. The room was filled with the faint scent of his cologne, a comforting reminder of the life you shared before the surgery.
You helped him onto the bed, his weight shifting the mattress beneath you as he settled in, wincing slightly at the movement.
You took a moment to admire him, his strong frame now marred by the surgery scar that snaked under the bandages across his abdomen.
The sight of it brought back the fear of that night, the helplessness you felt as you watched the doctor's face grow grim with the news of his condition. But here he was, alive and with you, and that was all that mattered.
"Lay down," you instructed softly, your voice a gentle command that made him comply without question.
The bedroom was a sanctuary, a place where you had shared countless moments of passion before the surgery. Now, it was a battleground of nerves and anticipation. You approached him with the grace of a gazelle, each step measured and careful.
"I'm okay," he reassured, his voice a low rumble that seemed to resonate through the air. "Really."
You took a deep breath, feeling the weight of the last few weeks slowly lifting from your shoulders. You straddled his legs, his hands coming up to rest gently on your thighs.
The fabric of your pajamas was the only barrier between his skin and yours, a barrier that was suddenly unbearable.
"Can I take these off?" you asked, your voice barely above a whisper.
"If you promise to be gentle," he said with a hint of a smirk.
You nodded, your fingers trembling slightly as you began to peel back the bandages. The stark white of the gauze was a stark contrast to the tanned skin of his stomach.
You took a moment to examine the neat line of his incision, the skin around it slightly pink and tender. You kissed it softly, feeling the warmth of his body under your lips.
"Careful," he warned, his eyes half-closed with pleasure.
You nodded, taking in the sight of his body before you. You had seen him naked countless times before, but this was different. There was a newfound respect, a newfound gentleness in the way you regarded his body now.
Each scar, each imperfection, was a testament to his strength and the life you had together.
You began to kiss him again, starting at his forehead, moving down to his cheeks, his neck, his collarbone. Each kiss was a declaration of your love and your care, a promise to be gentle, to cherish him.
Your mouth found the pulse at the base of his neck, his heartbeat a steady rhythm that matched yours. You felt his breathing quicken, his body responding to your touch.
He reached up, his hand cupping the back of your head as he guided your mouth back to his. His kisses grew more insistent, his tongue sliding against yours, a silent plea for more.
You felt your body come alive, the ache between your legs growing more intense.
As you kissed him, you felt his hand slide under the fabric of your shirt, his fingertips brushing against the bare skin of your back. He groaned, the sound resonating through your body like a physical caress.
It was a sound that had always made you melt, a sound that had always meant he wanted more, needed more, and now it was back, a sweet reminder of the passion you shared.
You pulled away for a moment, looking into his eyes. "Are you okay?" you asked, the question almost redundant as the desire in his gaze was answer enough.
He groaned, not from pain but from pure need. "More than okay," he murmured, his voice thick with lust.
Encouraged by his response, you allowed his hands to roam, feeling the warmth of his palms as they glided over your skin.
They traced the contours of your body, exploring every curve and dip with a reverence that made you feel cherished, desired despite his weakened state. His thumbs grazed the sensitive skin of your ribcage, sending shivers up your spine.
"You're so beautiful," he murmured, his eyes never leaving yours.
You blushed, feeling vulnerable and exposed. "You make me feel like it," you whispered.
As your kisses grew more fervent, you became acutely aware of your weight, the softness of your body that you had always loved, and sometimes loathed. You shifted slightly, trying to balance yourself so that you weren't putting too much pressure on his stitches.
The thought of causing him pain was unbearable, so you carefully placed your hands on his chest, using your arms to hold yourself up as you kissed him.
"Put all your weight on me," Carlos murmured, his eyes open and searching yours for any sign of hesitation.
You bit your bottom lip, feeling the heat of his body beneath you. The urge to give in was strong, but the fear of causing him pain held you back. "I don't want to hurt you," you whispered, your voice thick with emotion.
"Trust me, I've got you," he said, his arms wrapping around your waist and pulling you closer. "I can handle it."
You took a deep breath and did as he asked, feeling the softness of your flesh pressing against the firmness of his abdomen. The sensation was strange at first, a mix of fear and excitement.
But as he kissed you harder, as his hands roamed over your back and his hips began to move slightly beneath you, the fear melted away, leaving only desire.
You felt the heat of his skin, the steady throb of his heart against your palms. His breaths grew quicker, his chest rising and falling with each shallow breath.
The sensation was exquisite, a gentle reminder of the passion that had always burned between you. You could feel his erection growing, pressing against your center, but you held back, not wanting to push him too far, too fast.
"We can stop," you whispered, your voice laced with concern.
He shook his head, his eyes never leaving yours. "No, please don't stop." His voice was thick with need, the words a desperate plea.
You leaned back slightly, breaking the kiss to remove your shirt, revealing your braless breasts to the cool air of the room. His eyes followed the movement, dark with desire.
You watched as his hand hovered over the fabric of your pajama pants, his knuckles brushing against the swollen bud of your clit. You gasped, the sensation sending shockwaves through your body.
"Is this okay?" he asked, his voice a strained whisper.
You nodded, unable to form coherent words as his hand slipped under the waistband, his fingers finding your slick heat. He stroked you gently, his movements tentative and careful, as if he was worried that even the slightest touch would shatter you.
But as he grew more confident, his touch grew bolder, his thumb circling your clit as his fingers delved deeper.
Your hips began to rock against his hand, the pleasure building with each stroke. You moaned into his neck, your teeth grazing his skin, leaving a trail of kisses along his collarbone.
His breaths grew shallower, his hand moving faster as he matched the rhythm of your movements.
"You're so wet," he murmured, his voice filled with amazement and hunger. "You're always so wet for me."
You felt your cheeks flush with heat at his words. "It's just… you make me feel so… alive."
He chuckled, the sound vibrating against your chest. "Good to know I still have that effect on you."
You leaned down to kiss him again, your tongues dancing together as your bodies grew more in sync. His other hand found your breast, his thumb brushing against the tightened peak of your nipple, sending sparks of pleasure through your body.
As you reached down to undo the button of his pants, he stopped you, his hand covering yours. "Let me," he said, his voice strained with effort.
With trembling hands, he managed to open his fly, the sound of the zipper echoing in the quiet room. His erection sprang free, a testament to his desire.
You felt your own need growing, a warm ache that spread from your core to every part of your body. You reached out tentatively, wrapping your hand around his length, feeling the pulse of his blood beneath your fingertips.
"Careful," he warned, his voice tight with arousal.
You nodded, stroking him slowly, savoring the velvety feel of his skin against your palm. His eyes fell closed, his head tilting back into the pillow as he let out a low groan.
You watched him, memorizing the way his chest rose and fell, the way his abs tensed with each breath. You felt a strange mix of tenderness and hunger, a desire to both protect and claim him.
The sight of his scar, a stark reminder of his vulnerability, only served to fuel your passion.
As you worked your hand up and down his shaft, you leaned in to kiss him again, feeling his hips shift beneath you, urging you closer. The kiss grew deeper, his tongue sliding against yours in a silent demand for more.
Your body responded, arching into him, seeking the contact that you had been denied for so long.
"I need you," he murmured, his voice barely audible.
You nodded, understanding the desperation in his words. You leaned back, sliding off his pants and boxers, exposing him fully to the cool air. His cock stood at attention, a silent plea for your touch.
You kissed your way down his body, your mouth worshipping every inch of his skin. Your breasts brushed against his thighs as you moved, sending waves of sensation through you.
Positioning yourself above him, you hovered, your pussy mere inches from his erection. His hands tightened on your thighs, urging you closer.
You paused, looking down at him, his eyes full of need. The weight of his gaze was almost too much to bear, but the fear was still there, whispering in the back of your mind.
"I'm okay," he assured you, his voice strained with want. "I need you, baby. I need to feel you."
You took a deep breath and allowed yourself to sink down, feeling the tip of his cock press against your opening. The sensation was electric, sending a jolt through your body.
You hesitated, waiting for any sign of pain from him. When he only moaned in pleasure, you began to lower yourself, inch by delicious inch.
His cock slid into you, filling you completely. You bit your bottom lip to stifle a moan, feeling a mix of pleasure and relief. It had been too long since you had felt this connection, too long since you had been this intimate.
His eyes never left yours, his expression one of pure adoration.
"Oh, Carlos," you murmured, his name a prayer on your lips.
He groaned, his hips lifting slightly to meet yours. You began to move, the rhythm slow and steady. Each movement was a declaration of your love, a gentle dance that you both knew so well.
You could feel his cock stretching you, the sensation of fullness that you had missed for weeks. His hands roamed your body, exploring every curve and valley with a tenderness that brought tears to your eyes.
You leaned back, sitting up straight as you rode him. The new angle allowed you to take him deeper, the feeling of him inside you making you dizzy with pleasure.
Your breasts bounced with each movement, the tips tightening with every stroke. His eyes never left you, drinking in the sight of your body, his hands moving to cup your breasts, his thumbs playing with your nipples.
The friction grew, the sound of skin on skin filling the room. The ache between your legs grew stronger, your body begging for release. You leaned back further, placing your hands on his thighs for support.
The new angle allowed you to grind against him, the pressure building with every move. You watched his face, the way his eyes squeezed shut and his teeth gritted with each thrust.
"Mi amor," he whispered, the Spanish endearment rolling off his tongue like a warm caress. His hand slid down to the small of your back, guiding you, urging you to move in a way that brought him the most pleasure.
You felt a warmth spread through your body, a gentle wave of passion that grew stronger with every beat of his heart. You knew he was holding back, trying not to let the pain of his recent surgery overwhelm him.
But you could feel the tension in his body, the way his muscles tensed and relaxed with each movement. It was a dance you knew well, a delicate balance of pleasure and pain.
Leaning forward, you kissed him again, your mouths moving in a silent conversation of love and lust. His hands found their way to your hips, his fingers digging into your flesh as he urged you faster.
Your breasts pressed against his chest, the friction of your bodies setting your nerves alight. The room felt like it was spinning, the only anchor the warmth of his cock inside you.
"Más," he murmured, the word a plea that sent your body into overdrive. You picked up the pace, your hips moving in a rhythm that was as natural as breathing.
His breath grew ragged, his grip on your hips tightening as you rode him. His eyes snapped open, locking onto yours. "Te amo," he said, the words a declaration that sent a shiver down your spine. "I love you."
You felt the orgasm build, a coil of pleasure that grew tighter with each stroke. You whispered the words back, the English translation feeling inadequate next to the Spanish. But you knew he understood, knew that your love was as deep and vast as the ocean.
His eyes searched yours, the depths of his love and desire reflecting in their dark pools. You felt his muscles tense beneath you, his cock swell even further inside you.
You knew he was close, could feel the tremor in his hands, the way his hips jerked with each movement.
"I'm going to come," he warned, his voice tight with restraint.
You nodded, feeling the same urgency building within you. Your walls tightened around him, the sensation of his impending release sending you hurtling towards your own climax. His eyes never left yours, the connection between you palpable.
You felt the muscles in his abdomen contract, a silent promise of the pleasure to come.
With a final, deep thrust, you felt him release inside you, his warmth filling you completely. Your own orgasm crashed over you, waves of pleasure that made your vision blur and your body quiver.
You collapsed onto him, your chest heaving as you both fought to catch your breath. His arms wrapped around you, holding you tightly as if he never wanted to let go.
The feel of his heart hammering against your cheek was a sweet symphony that only the two of you could understand.
"I love you," you murmured into his neck, feeling the sticky sweat on his skin.
"Te amo," he replied, his voice hoarse.
You remained still for a moment, basking in the afterglow, the fear of his fragility forgotten in the face of the overwhelming love you felt. But as your breathing slowed, the reality of his condition began to creep back in.
You lifted yourself off of him, careful not to cause any discomfort.
"How are you feeling?" you asked, your voice filled with concern.
He winced slightly as you moved, his hand coming to rest on the bandage across his stomach. "I'm okay," he assured you. "A little sore, but nothing I can't handle."
You kissed the spot gently, feeling the warmth of his skin beneath the fabric. "Thank you," you whispered. "For letting me… for being so patient."
He chuckled, the sound a little strained. "What can I say, I'm a trooper."
You couldn't help but laugh, the tension in the room dissipating like mist in the morning sun. "Yes, you are," you said, your eyes sparkling with affection.
The days that followed were a gentle reawakening of your love, a rediscovery of the passion that had always been there, simmering just beneath the surface. Each touch was a declaration of your care and desire, each kiss a promise that you would always be there for him.
One morning, you awoke to the feeling of his hand on your hip, his thumb tracing lazy circles on your skin. You rolled over to face him, his eyes already open, watching you with a soft smile.
"Morning," he murmured, leaning in to kiss you.
You returned the kiss, feeling the warmth of his breath on your cheek. "Morning," you murmured back.
He shifted, his hand sliding down to cup your ass, pulling you closer. "Ready for round two?" he asked, his voice filled with mischief.
You raised an eyebrow, smiling despite yourself. "You're not going to let me have a break?" you said, feigning exasperation.
Carlos' grin widened, his eyes twinkling with mischief. "What? You don't want to?"
You playfully slapped his chest, unable to resist the flirty banter. "You're insatiable," you said, your voice filled with affection.
He chuckled, his grip tightening on your ass. "Only when it comes to you."
You felt a warm blush creep up your cheeks. "Well, if you promise to be gentle…"
"Always," he assured you, his voice a low, seductive rumble. . . .
#carlos sainz x reader#f1 fic#carlos sainz 55#carlos sainz junior#carlos sainz x you#carlos#carlos sainz#f1 fanfic#f1 imagine#formula 1#formula one#f1 x reader#f1#cs55#cs55 x y/n#cs55 x reader#cs55 x you#cs55 imagine#cs55 fic#cs55edit#cs55 sf#carlos sainz x y/n#carlos sainz jr#scuderia ferrari#ferrari racing#ferrari f1#mrsfancyferrari
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decentering men and recentering urself⋆.ೃ࿔*:・💅🏽💓


the secret to decentering men and not having ur entire world revolving around them (bcuz it should be revolving around you, duh) is having a fulfilling life. it makes me ICK so bad when im watching a video or reading a post and im rly loving it, and then it'll find SOME way to make it revolve around men. like can we not?…💬🎀
WHY WE CENTER THE OPPOSITE SEX ;
a lot of people find themselves centering their lives around the opposite sex in an attempt to fill a void within themselves. they do it because they aren't happy with themselves or their lives, or maybe its learned behavior. whatever the reason is, its NOT hot.
some things that someone who centers men might think are "oh my life is so boring, maybe it would be spiced up if i got with a man" or "maybe it'll bring some excitement into my day" like EUGHHH. obviously the solution is to find ways to make our lives fulfilling but how do we do that? and how do we get to the root cause and squash this self sabotaging behavior?
SELF AWARENESS ;
if u have nothing going on for u, ofc ur gonna be energetically desperate and accepting anything and EVERYTHING. practice self awareness and try to get to the root cause of why u center men through things like shadow work, therapy, or just straight up having an honest conversation with urself cuz i swear it helps.
when you make the conscious effort to build ur dream life you'll notice that people that are on the same mindset as you will vibe with the REAL you. the need to fake/adjust urself to fit in with other people will dissipate because ur fitting into ur own standards and ur connections will be more meaningful because of it.
TAKE UR POWER BACK ;
no ones actions should ruin ur day or make u upset for more then a day (even less) cuz its YOUR world. 💕🍰
make time for YOU, doll. plan self care routines for urself every week. doing face masks, journalling, vision boarding, WHATEVER U LIKE TO DO. making time for urself reminds u that ur the main character of ur life so u dont have to settle for crumbs.
stop giving that power to someone else and dictate how u feel, NOT the actions of a significant other or the opposite sex or anybody. the reason why its important to make sure that ur the center of ur own life is so that you can be happy and fulfilled regardless of if there is a man or if there isnt a man present. so the objective is to decenter men -> and then put yourself at the center
GET A HOBBY ;
find something to make ur life fulfilling. pursue ur OWN interests and try out different hobbies if ur unsure of what ur interests are yet. cultivate ur world to the point where it GLEAMS with perfection and then do a little extra. build a life that u love so much that whether u get male attention or validation doesnt even matter cuz their opinions have little to no relevance 💀
challenge yourself: next time you catch yourself thinking, ‘would a guy like this?’ flip it and ask urself "hey, do i like this?" start checking with yourself first instead of checking with others.
MAKING THE DECISION TO DECENTER MEN ;
decentering men simply means that ur deciding to no longer think, feel, act, dress, or plan ur life around a man or for the validation of any man…💬🎀
relationships will actually get BETTER when u decenter the opposite sex. cuz ur not looking for someone to compete with and ur whole on ur own. this sets the stage for balance and mutual respect and THATS hot.
you can be in a relationship and still decenter men. decentering men simply means that you are the priority, not the relationship. how can we tell if we're decentering men or not? here are a few questions to help you know if u are ->
if i did not care about looking good to the opposite sex what would i actually like to wear?
if i did not get married, how could i create the best and most abundant life for myself?
what hobbies/interests do i have that dont involve being around men/have male attention as a component of it?
#honeytonedhottie⭐️#it girl#becoming that girl#that girl#it girl energy#self care#self love#dream girl tips#dream girl#dream life#hyper femininity#hyper feminine#hyperfemininity#girly#girl blog#girl blogging#self improvement#self reflection#food for thought#centering yourself#self obsession#fabulous#fabulousity#glamorous#pampered princess#doll#dolling
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