#thet are conventionally attractive and you wonder what is wrong with you. and yiu end up endlessly comparing yourself to others
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ALSO I MADE A TERRIBLE REALISATION EARLIER
#jinx's hijinks#so yk the guy ive got a crush on right. so i think his friend is trying to flirt with me and i just havent noticed. like at all until now#its like really bad bc i think they r like besties#like hes nice but also i barely know him#like this is not good for me#3rd time somethung like this has happened tho#its kinda crazy to me tho because up until the past year i never received real romantic attention#like pretty privilege is real guys and anyone who says it isnt is full of shit#and its so fucked up and evil that people will just treat you better and be nicer if they see you as attractive#its such a harmful thing no matter what#if youre not benefiting from it youre cast aside and you wonder whats wrong you you. you see so many other getting special treatment because#thet are conventionally attractive and you wonder what is wrong with you. and yiu end up endlessly comparing yourself to others#and if you do benefit from it you end up constantly questioning if peopoe are nice to you because they actually like you and thunk ur cool#or if they just think ur hot and wanna get in ur pants. like people have become overall so much nicer to me. because i “got pretty”#(all i did was get more confident and started expressing myself how i wanted to)#but it just constantly leaves me wondering if certain people genuinely like me or if its all surface level#or or certain people are actually nice or if they are just treating me a certain way because they think im hot#idk does this sound self absorbed#ive been thinking about jt so much lately as in such a dhort period of time o went from being asked out and flirted with as a jome#*as a joke#to having multiple people crush on me at once and get a lot of that type of attention#idk i wish i had the words to describe this experience and i wish i knew if its happened to others#because i think its really fucked up and its definitely tied back to misogyny and classism and racism because all oppression is connected#also im really sorry if you read all this i just needed a place to put all th3sr thoughts and im sure half of this doesnt even make sense#becaus its 6am ans im tired and hungry and i dont think right when im hungry
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