#its not like hes saying anything i didnt already know this show believed about it but holy fuck man

[robbyykeene]

“She wasn’t forcing him in any way” YOU chose to show Robby so drunk he couldn’t talk and could barely stand. YOU chose to show Robby come out of that room and say he couldn’t remember what happened. YOU chose to show him stand there like a zombie unresponsive while she kissed him and then stumble away like he didn’t know what planet he was on. YOU chose to depict a situation where one party so obviously could not consent, and the other was acutely aware of that fact. Stop playing fucking dumb and admit you’re a pathetic rape apologist and move the fuck on.

[sensitivegoblin]

Vent

Tw: sh, suivide

[icarusredwings]

This post is dedicated to my wife. I see you, my love. And I can't be more than proud of you, my darling honeybee.

_________

Thinking about how Wade has to eat while doing something or else he just... can't.

Logan first noticed it about 4 days into moving in. That Wade will watch stuff on his phone or eat in the living room in front of the tv. There's no in-between.

One day, he makes dinner and sets the table, him and Al, sitting there, ready to eat, but Wade is hesitant. He sat down just fine but when it came to actually eating he just... stares.

He starts talking, rambling, ranting about anything. He even asks Logan to tell him a story about something, any war, anyone. "You ever meet anyone really cool? Like Elvis or something?"

"Not particularly." He mutters after swallowing.

He starts picking at his fingers in his lap. His foot is tapping, and he feels so guilty. He watches as Al finishes her plate, talking about how delicious it was and thanks him.

And Wade thinks so. The food is simple. It doesn't smell bad either. So why can't he just eat it? It's not like it was bad. Logan wouldn't feed him expired food or make him bad stuff on purpose.

'It's just pasta. Come on, you love pasta' he tries to tell himself but cant seem to actually put any food in his mouth.

Every time he tries, he ends up just putting it back down.

Eventually, there are tears in his eyes.

"Wade..? What's wrong?"

He shakes his head, smiling that bullshit grin he gives when he doesn't know how to explain the fact that his brain was screaming at him that he didnt deserve the food, trying to conviece him that it was rotten, convience him that he was being poisoned or that if he ate this something bad would happen.

But now he's between a rock and a hard place because if he doesn't eat Logan will think he hates his cooking and will leave. He'll move out.

And what if he takes puppins with him? What if he thinks hes a bad dog dad because obviously if he cant feed himself how will he take care of puppins? What if he-

"Wade!"

He jumps a bit, looking at him with big watery eyes.

Something in Logan's concerned face makes him feel worse. ".. y-yeah?"

There's silence.

Logan then sighs, his shoulders falling, scooting over with his plate as he sits next to him.

"... Have I ever told you about the time I accidently blew myself up and Rodgers laughed at me?"

He shakes his head, staring at him. "S-stevie laughed at you?"

Logan nods, beginning to tell the story.

And just like that?

Wade's fork finally reaches his mouth, sometimes glancing down at his plate, but mainly keeping his attention on Logan, smiling and interjecting at times.

He needed distraction.

From the meanies in his head that much preferred the words of a story or tv show then to be alone in the quiet.

"Wait wait wait-" he says, his plate already half cleared, about to shove some more in his mouth. "You sniffed it out and STILL stepped on it??"

"Heh.. yeh.. well. That's what happens when your stuck in a trench."

"Did it stink in there?" Another bite.

"It was terrible. That's why I couldn't smell the mines." He jokes, smirking as Wade laughs, covering his mouth.

Going to stab another piece he realizes that its gone. With another guilty look, he glances to the plate then to the stove, and Logan last.

"Is... is there more?"

Logan knew better then to question him. He had to do something similar with Kurt, talking him through his first few full meals. He didnt believed someone like him deserved fancy mansion food.. well.... Logan didn't either that first week. But Chuck was there.

And now Logan was there for Wade.

Funny how that came full circle..

"Yeah." He gets up, bringing him the entire pot, pouring another helping onto his plate, Watching as Wade shoveled some more in his mouth with a grin.

"So- Mmh- Pars uh yu jus' wen evrwhre??"

Logan smiles, now its his turn to laugh. "Not quite. But sure as hell felt like it."

_______

And this is for any of my fellow people whos brains are mean to them. You are loved. There is nothing wrong with you. I want you fed. I dont care what it is, Fed is better than nothing. So if that means you will survive off of nuggets and a show about lego monkeys? Then so be it. Im so proud of all of you. And I will never ever judge you for your process. Do you know why?

Because you have survived evert hard day that life has ever thrown at you.

WOOWW!! Look at you!! You bad ass! God damn you are so strong!! Look at you go! I love you.

And keep pushing my little ducklings. Keep swimming.

[twipsai]

ive been wanting to do something like this for a while, so here we go

Silver's straightforward attitude and anxieties: a poorly formatted analysis

Silver's anxiety is something i havent seen talked about a lot, and im really just barely going beneath the surface here -- i hope i did it justice in anyway sfdkSKHJFDSKFH i think about his obvious anxiety disorder a lot

transcript of all the text i added under the cut incase its hard to read for some ppl ^_^

image 1 (source: IDW #8): "isnt really used to banter, got worried he actually offended Sonic"

"he worries a lot about not being useful, because thats pretty much his entire purpose in life. if hes not doing something, he will find something to do (badly) or panic. he gets nervous at the slightest insinuation that he mightve messed up because the last thing he ever wants to do is get in anyones way."

"for how powerful he is and how much shit he talks, Silver doesnt really think very good about himself or his own worth."

image 2 (source: Sonic Universe #82): "its hard to say anything here that i havent already said, its just another example os Silver having issues with his self wroth, and also a lot of his motivation coming from protecting the people he loves (and, more generally, protecting the world), considering a page after this he gets up and completely wrecks the Second Devourer"

image 3 (source: IDW #8): "Silver will take pretty much anything literally. he lacks the social skills to identify when someones being serious bc he grew up completely alone"

image 4 (source: IDW #14): "he cant lie (is both bad at it, and it really just doesnt cross his mind to do so), but he can change the subject"

"he also really doesnt like it when people are worried about him -- almost every time people show concern for him, he tries (and fails) to lie or change the subject"

image 5 (source: IDW #14): "he didnt see anything suspicious about [Starline giving the "vault code"] because he doesnt usually assume people lie directly to him, its just not something that usually crosses his mind"

image 6 (source: IDW #60, TSR interview): "Silver's rudeness, his naivete, misunderstanding of jokes/quips/banter, inability to lie, it all stems from his straightforwardness. its simple, but but oftentimes effective (yes i chose a bad page to showcase when it works, ignore that)"

"Silver doesnt like to beat around the bush or show off too often. go in, defeat the bad guys, get out. it ties in with his anxiety of the future -- time is always of the essence"

"Q: What are some of your favorite items to use during the race?

Silver: [...]but the Jade Wisps' "Ghost" is the only one I like. I can disappear and focus on the race."

"it does make him forget to stratagize and cooperate with his friends sometimes, though, when his first instinct is "hit it until it stops moving""

image 7 (source: Sonic Rivals 2): "im not really going over his bluntness in this, but literally the entirety of Rivals 2 covers that. he doesnt think to hide what hes doing because he knows hes in the right, so he just expects everyone else to know that. he expects people to believe him just because hes telling the truth. he doesnt see why he would have a reason to lie, so he never thinks to justify his actions."

"a lot of this bluntness is also shown in IDW #64 -- Silver cant be stealthy and observe someone from afar to save his life when he knows hes right about them. he really takes no time to explain that Duo is Mimic before Whisper steps in and attacks Mimic, even though if he took the time to talk through what happened, he probably couldve convinced Lanolin of Duo's true nature"

image 8 (source: IDW annual 2022): "Silver has pretty much zero idea how to navigate the world outside of helping other people and saving the world. he is almost constantly in "survival mode" and doesnt know how to handle low-stakes"

"(he sometimes takes casual conversation too seriously because of this)"

"he is constantly worried about the future. to an almost unhealthy degree sometimes, its often all he thinks about. when he knows exactly what to do, he comes off as confident and powerful, but when he doesnt know what to do..."

"...he completely spirals. to him, an uncertain future is worse than a doomed one. not knowing how to fix things is one of the most terrifying thoughts to him."

"if Espio hadn't been here to calm him down, i think its super likely he'd have had an anxiety attack."

image 9 (source: Sonic Generations, IDW #64, Team Sonic Racing, Sonic Universe #79): "like, i truly cannot emphasize enough how he cannot relax. anything can be a threat, and if he doesnt see an immediate one, he will find something that is one. "

"he can rarely calm down, because every second hes in the past is another second he should be saving the future"

"i cant properly showcase it here, but if you run past him in Gens, he'll immediately be on-guard."

"he has to always be looking for the next world-destroying foe, it's pretty much his default setting."

"there are tons more examples of his overt anxiety, but these are some of the more prominant examples."

image 9 (source: Archie Sonic #235): "we even see in the traitor arc in archie how Silver is constantly paranoid. the idea never crosses his mind that there is no traitor, because something is always wrong. hes like a machine built to find a problem with no off switch"

"almost anything can set him off and make him untrusting of anyone, because thats the only way he knows how to live. anything can be a threat in his eyes, and when there is no threat, he will either find one or panic that he cant find one."

"because when you spend your entire life fighting,"

"how else are you supposed to live?"

[space-owl]

Stolas is incredibly classist!

And probably doesn’t realise it.

I already made a short post about it here but I want to go more into detail with all of this.

First I want to show how he is acting with demons that aren’t Goetia and then how his classism even bleeds into the relationship with Blitzø.

Disclaimer: I love Stolas, he is one of my favourite characters of the show! Doesnt mean though I wont critic him for some of the bullshit he is pulling

Stolas is constantly dismissing other demons and looking at all of them from a high angle. We can clearly see it when he interacts with Millie and Moxxie

Just look at his uninterested face too while Moxxie is talking to him

Not to forget he keeps referring to Imps as "little ones“ etc

Of course he is aware of his status sometimes and does use it to get into Ozzies. But he also does it while presenting himself on a higher angle than the poor bouncer in front of the club would’ve needed

Like Stolas you’re already one of the princes of hell, the guy KNOWS who you are! Why are you giving him this look??

He doesn't see any imp or even any demon who is ranked below him as equal. It shows again when he is directly attacked by Striker. Stolas was mostly chill about the situation and not even fully aware he was in danger!

Yes, he brings it up but he isn’t fully convinced of it himself. The first time he REALLY understands he is in big trouble is when he realises that his glare doesn’t work!

I don’t think Stolas doesn’t know what holy rope is. But I do believe that he himself didn’t think an IMP could possess such dangerous equipment!

And what shows it to me the MOST that he really doesnt seem to hold any respect to Imps that aren't Blitzø is this:

How he handles Pringles, the butler of the family!

He literally squeezes him so tightly the poor guy cant get any air anymore!

Just holding him and handling him as if he was an object! Dude is already getting dizzy and Stolas wont let go of him!

Yes I know I suppose this is mostly a visual gag to make the scene more entertaining. We just cant forget that animation is a long process to do. Anything, any action a character does is there for a reason! If Stolas WASN'T a person who wouldnt handle an Imp butler like this, it would'nt be in the scene!

This is already enough proof for me that Stolas is very classist. Its so casual for him and normal that he doesnt even seem to realise it! Why do I think that? Because it bleeds into the relationship with Blitzø!

All the things Stolas keeps saying about Imps, he also says directly to Blitzø.

Calling Blitzø "his little Imp", again just saying Imps are little and "things" to be posessed

Dismissing Blitzø when he tries to get serious, just saying he is cute even though Blitzø is trying to complain

Also the constant cheek pinching, something youd mostly do to a child.

And dont forget the most posessive thing of all of them to say in "Truth Seekers"

"Who dares to threaten my impish little plaything?" (youtube didnt pick up the audio here so no automatic subtitles appeared (holy shit im so thankful season 2 finally has proper subtitles!))

Stolas literally called Blitzø HIS "plaything", also pointing out the Imp part again.

Id say something like "oh but that was probably just before he got feelings for Blitzø! And then it changed!" I mean even if that was the case it wouldnt make it any better. But no, Stolas literally had a crush on Blitzø the first time he SAW him! Look, this is his literal first reaction:

Stolas always had feelings for Blitzø, but still he keeps downplaying Blitzøs feelings and totally ignores the class thing. Because he himself is already in a higher class! So he can just pick and choose which Imp he respects and which he doesnt.

Worst of all of this is that as a child Stolas was a LOT more open about those things!

Until his father "corrects" him

And Stolas rememberd this statement until his aduldhood. The only exeption he makes to this rule is Blitzø.

And Blitzø of course notices those things. Of course he notices the constant dismiss of Stolas! Being called a "Plaything" and a "little imp!" He is already self conscious enough. And that makes him even more vunerable and hyper aware of those things.

Even though Stolas showed general intersted in him someties, Blitzø already accepted himself as his little tool.

Moxxie even brings it up to Blitzø, obviously playing to Stolas feelings for him.

But Blitzø immediately thinks its still just about something sexual. And nothing else.

Because he cant see himself being anything else to Stolas than just a plaything. It doesnt matter how often Stolas was honest with him and showed interest. His constant belitteling and downplaying on him and also any other Imp that happens to be present while Blitzø is with him is enough.

With ALL of that context, its totally clear why Blitzø lashed out at Stolas in Full Moon. For him this confession came out of nowhere. He didnt have time to breathe or understand what was really going on there. And Stolas himself keeps ignoring their class difference and has 0 self reflection on that part so far, not getting why this is so upsetting to Blitzø.

"Blitzø, I think so very highly of you. I didnt realize you think so low of me!"

GEE STOLAS! I WONDER WHY BLITZØ DOES SO!

[ihaveforgortoomany]

Who do you think would switch loyalties from the Foundation to Vertin first? Sonetto or Mesmer Jr?

Hi there! (Before I start @stari-hun I didnt know that about Getian! I hope we do get a follow up to Notes on Shori, his arcanum and Jiu's predate the AS by who knows how long! Maybe he could show Vertin how to do this maybe?)

@sleeplesssmoll (credits to them, their anaylsis and speculation on Vertin and Sonetto really does help to contextualise their relationship to each other)

Alright. As for who would switch loyalities, I believe arguements can be made for the either of them doing before the other. Back in Book 3 both Sonetto and Mesmer Jr were almost at the same point, both wanted to help Vertin but felt trapped by the Foundation, dealt a poor hand that any action they took likely would have made Vertin's situation worse- it was Sonetto sure that helped in the end, but truly she was working within the Foundation's rules, the Chicago branch was an outlier.

I believe the only distance in who "breaks away" (pun intended) depends on the citing incident. for Sonetto this may be the truth of the Breakaway Incident or her being put in a position to choose Vertin or the Foundation, and I do think she will choose the Foundation first.

As for Mesmer Jr, (we have more context to her thanks to her 2.2 anecdote, but I wont mention here since Ive only seen parts and not enough to say anything). Currently I think her citing incident might be the truth behind Scot Mesmer, learning the true history of the Mesmer Family and AS. Her realisation and actualisation might be much gentler than Sonetto's, shes been wrestling with the truth of the Foundation since the incident, and really has a much deeper understanding of Vertin's plight than Sonetto (thanks in part to the AS and bring her childhood friend). Mesmer unlike Sonetto does not act out of love for the Foundation, similar to Isolde she is duty bound in a sense by her family to uphold its legacy in the AS - I think given time and high stakes Mesmer Jr will eventually follow the bellwether once again, maybe even with a renewed determination to ensure the Breakaway Incident will not happen again.

For Sonetto? Its probably be much uglier.

All her life its been a constant struggle between Vertin and the Foundation, the pull towards the Foundation has been gradually eroding away over the years the more she stays with Vertin. She already views the Foundation as her saviour and home, at the very least Mesmer Jr had a family and arcane history to fall back to. but Sonetto doesnt - the closest thing to a home has been the Foundation and progressively more Vertin and her suitcase.

She also wrestles with her relationship with Vertin, is it out of care and genuine affection for Vertin? Or a deep sated guilt and sense of atonement for those years she pushed Vertin away, guilt carried over from the Breakaway Incident. The fact that Vertin and Sonetto would never bring up these feelings for fear of hurting another creates tension.

Constantine is the determining and inciting factor: one inevitable day will come when Sonetto must choose Vertin or the Foundation - this will mean the entire collapse of her worldview for a while, maybe for a time Sonetto stays with the Foundation and away from Vertin - I think distance might allow Sonetto to realise who her loyalties truly lie.

Summary: it truly depends on when things come to a fork in the road, a inciting point that forces them to choose. Mesmer would have an easier time than Sonetto I think (by a small margin), Sonetto has years of conflicted feelings she needs to process before she can choose Vertin.

[the-moon-files]

Linked Universe / GN!Reader - Random Headcanons abt the Chain! :)

Part 1 / Part 2 (ur here!) / Part 3

Sun: Reader (you/they/them)

Orbit: Headcanons-ish

Stars: Hyrule, Time, Fierce Deity, Twilight, Warriors

Comets & Meteors: Content Warnings: light cussing, & Trigger Warnings: none known.

☆

Hyrule (The Legend of Zelda - OG game, Zelda II: Adventures of Link):

Lost easily, obviously, you know this

What you didnt know was that its very easy to get lost with him

Bc he's so excited/curious for new sights he doesnt give any fucks abt where he is, so it devolves into that "wait, I thought YOU were leading us there?? Then where tf are we??!!" very quickly

Does feel bad he stressed u out smtimes but he somehow manages to get into such wild shit that Hyrule's kinda preoccupied being confused/amazed/finding his way out, or any combo of these situations (once again, usually with you unfortunately)

Is the luckiest when it comes to getting lost or anything to do with "natural" things

Like he heard u rlly like this one fruit? Accidentally gets lost all day and panics all the Links + You until he shows up at midnight with a shirtful of them

("I found a few fruit trees/plants in the woods while wandering! I tried to grab a few for you and before I knew it, it was dark, sorry...")

Likes learning little skills from other people, like learning how to do makeup from Legend, or how to spot collections of rupees the Minish have left somewhere from Four, or how walk on any terrain from Wind (good at walking on a ship, on land, climbing etc)

More of a "sunset" hiker than a "sunrise" one

Likes to do your hair! Whether that be braiding, putting accessories (he handmade shhh) thruout it, or helping with hair maintenance, likes how strangely intimate but domestic it feels together with you (u return the favor ofc)

(All the other heroes are looking at you both like kicked puppies jfcccc🙄)

Time (Ocarina of Time, Majora's Mask):

Gets anxious if he's late to things, likes being fashionably early (or ungodly, when u let him get away with it)

Has absolutely been that meme from Parks and Recreation where he's like "Alright. I'm not mad, I just wanna know. Who broke it?"

(Abt the coffee pot for the camp)

Knowing full and well-

"I broke it. It burnt my coffee for the 3rd morning in a row, so I punched it. I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with war paint on their faces and a moblin head on a stick. ...good. It was getting a little chummy around here."

MF LOVES GOSSIP (wouldn't admit this even at swordpoint)

Wars has absolutely been the person in the meme of:

Wars: "...why would you tell me this??"

Time: "Bc no one will ever believe you."

Wars: ...😦

Has a resting bitch face and knows it, actively cultivates it, scary dog privileges for you,

Type to take ur side in whatever situation ur in, even when Time has no idea whats going on, always, without question <3

The same height as First, (Twi's a close 2nd), and feels most secure when the 3 of you are at the front of the group, but First/Time are slightly in front of you

Like ur literally the person walking their 2 huge scary doobermans/mastiffs one leash in each hand basically 💀

(Once again, Link is deeply comforted by ur voice just over his shoulder/just hearing u even without seeing you)

Very subtly sarcastic, u dont even know he made a dig at you until 3-5 business days later

Likes ur sarcasm more than anyone else's in the group, or even his own lol

Fierce Deity (Majora's Mask):

Likes music, any music (amused at drunk karaoke)

Casually cradles ur arms or back whenever ur falling asleep/tripping/being clumsy near him

Very warm and smoothed calloused hands

Thinks abt what he's about to say so hard/long, that the conversation's moved on by like, 3 rounds/subject changes by the time he's actually ready to talk

Scolds ppl (in like a sentence) who neglect their needs, like sleeping/eating/hygiene

Finds peace in nature, if hes ever upset, u can bet he's already taking a walk by a stream

Likes teaching u/other Links little skills he has, its nice to feel appreciated/needed for something other than fighting or big moments

He falls in love with small moments, like the first time u made them all a dessert recipe from ur world, or repaired First's scarf (for the millioneth time) and bc everyone had gotten their clothes scratched up, everyone needed repairs so most Links were sewing smth lol

Enjoys watching ppl experience smth for the first time, or even himself exp smth for first time

Fierce smiled fully for the first time when you got into the mountain hot springs in Wild's Hyrule for the first time and were super excited

Also the type to hold ur hand while stepping in to make sure u dont fall, or just subtly boost a Link that was abt to fall from climbing smth

Like for being the tallest, he's surprisingly sneaky, the energy of the biggest cat in the house yet somehow also the quietest

Does that thing where someone takes ur hand and like massages ur fingers, palm, wrist and shakes them out kinda for you <3

Twilight (Twilight Princess):

Trips UP the stairs.

Cold start LMAO

ok ill be nice to him,, sike

Easy to bully?? U mean that kindly, he's just such a golden retriever sometimes u cant help urself (tho u make sure to reign it in and not take advantage of it so as not to genuninely hurt him)

Lol likes to "herd" his favorite people, like those dogs livestock farmers have u kno that they say end up herding their owners/their family lol

Like making subtle circles around the Chain, wrapping an arm around Hyrule and teasing him to quietly bring him back into the group before he gets lost,

Tugs on Time's armor to slow him down, mf may be in armor head to toe but he'll outpace all of u 💀

Likes to put his hand on ur lower back to guide u back into the group from whatever scenic thing u got distracted by

(so sue you, ur literally in The Legend of Zelda's Hyrule, surrounded by pretty blondes, why tf wouldnt you be distracted all the time??)

The only time he doesnt herd actively is in Ordon, just subconciously lol <3

Terrible sleep schedule, but sleeps like the dead when he does, has collapsed with a limb on top of you and u couldnt escape

Hard time waking up in the morning despite being country boy, who usually have to do chores first thing in morning on a farm

hates/envious of Wild (up at 5am even on days off?? Foul.)

Runs warm, but complains abt a slight breeze?

Would sleep with no covers if it werent for morning dew

Wishes cats liked him more (its the wolf smell)

Twi has the constant energy of a tall person carefully maneuvering around cluttered/low doorways while someone a head shorter runs by him and bounces off of him

U get onto/scold the Links and he's immediately the first to just sit on the ground, or put down whatever he's holding no matter what he's doing LMAO 😭😭

Keeps his eyes on u too the whole time lol

Warriors (Hyrule Warriors):

Cries over romance novels/dramas

A virgo in all stereotypes of the word tbh

Invented the red-string conspiracy theory board before the red-string conspiracy board existed in Hyrule

Also likes to take care of your hair! (What?? He and 'Rulie don't fight over ur hair, that'd be childish, he's not a foolish boy- Hyrule, hand over the brush.👹)

Remembers the little things abt u type of person, like ur favorite drink, ur favorite stories like tv shows/books even if theyre from ur world, ur favorite clothing pieces like shorts vs. pants, etc.

The only Link who can single handedly claim he could take your closet and dress you in something you'd actually wear.

Honestly once he got the hang of it, would get better at dressing you, than you

(Another domestic thing he adores, picking outfits for u/finding that perfect piece of clothing you've been needing lately)

Born to night-owl, forced to morning-bird 😔

Wars wakes up stiff sometimes bc soldier training is sleeping on ur back, hands to ur sides, laying straight in ur bed, so as to fit into bunks/bedrolls close together

It got better as he was promoted to Captain, so he could have his own quarters but its still a hard habit to shake

One of the few Links who works up the courage to genuinely pitfully ask if you'd mind massaging his shoulders again? He slept badly last night, please?? 🥺👉👈

(Ur so weak for pathetic hurting pretty blonde twinks lol)

The most lowkey abt taking care of Chain, but u make sure to take care of him as a gift back, and you've definitely caught him tearing up abt it 💖

☆

Debated writing smth else first but figured this was easy and short and i started it first so youll have to wait like one more post before more Masc Reader stuff guys 😔

Dw its coming, i havent abandoned u my homies out there 🫂

Let me know what u think in the comments of my slight characterizations here!

Im struggling to conceptualize their personalities so thats acc part of why i started to write smaller stuff like this first! :)

Peace out,

🌙

[c1oud999]

hi

i just wanted to come on here and talk about my experience with spirituality. warning: longggg post ahead.

basically ive been in the spiritual community for YEARS now. ive had existential crisis since the age of 11 and ive gone through many phases of many different spiritual trends. from law of attraction, to witchcraft, to religious devotion, to law of assumption and now finally non dualism. i read books, meditated for hours and hours, talked to spiritual ppl from all walks of life and watched all the episodes of ganga upanishad (a show i still highly recommend, you can watch on youtube). all this childhood trauma and mental illness made me crave for sweet relief. but nothing really made sense until law of assumption. i thought that that would be it yk. i thought i was done searching but i think that was when i was searching for things the most. i do know i have it in my 4d, when will i see it? i thought i would get all my desires but did not meet success. and then the non dualism trend began and i hopped onto it like pretty much everyone else. i was bewildered at the stuff teachers kept saying. what do you mean everything's an illusion? there's no way that's true. my very real surroundings are causing me VERY real pain and suffering. oh no no there must be a deeper meaning behind all this. and so i read all the books in 4dbarbies drive, but nothing clicked. yes it made sense intellectually, but i didnt want to believe it bc where is the materialisation satisfaction here? also i felt none of the euphoria that was supposed to come with self realisation. which means i must not be a realised being. and then i cried and cried and cried, isolated myself, literally stopped going to school and just lay in bed all day. but ofc, i continued to read the tumblr posts like i had been doing for the past several years. and yesterday i read 4dkelly's post about giving up. it made sense. by the time i had finished reading the post i had truly given up on everything. on wanting, hoping, fearing, striving etc etc. i was SO tired. so i gave up. fell asleep. i woke up really late as usual and missed the school bus. i ate breakfast in silence, switched the tv on and lied down on the couch like always. and like always out of compulsion and force of habit i reached for my phone and looked up non dualism on twitter. and then i came across a tweet that said a simple sentence only- "nothing is ever actually happening." woah. that kinda drove me to the edge of the cliff i desperately wanted to jump off. i turned on some dnb background music and turned the shower on. i stood under the boiling hot water like some dramatic bitch and started piecing together the "puzzle". it all made so much sense now. i got out of the shower and left the house for the first time in months with a cute outfit and makeup on and everything. i went to the mall, bought candles, stickers, eye masks, coffee, and a doughnut with absolutely no social anxiety at all. i sat by window, read some poetry on my e-reader, cried, peered down at the floor below me and cried some more at the sight of little kids sitting on santa's lap and taking pictures and marveled at all the christmas decorations around me. it was insane. i decided i was going to be neutral towards everything but im in love. maddeningly so. in love with this dream that i thought did not love me back. but love is all there is. I AM ALL THERE IS. and i need you to take this literally. there is nothing happening. there is nothing here except you. nothing to fear, nothing to desire. ik a lot of people are going to dismiss this post because it's not a "materialisation success story" but i honestly dont think i can ever want anything physically bc in all its true essence, what is there to materialise? i am already whole and complete. i am lying on this cold hard floor, but i have never felt warmer. also ik there may be a lot of things ive written you might not agree with but again, this is NOT REAL. I AM. i hope this post helps you.

thank you to all the blogs ive come across and all the pointers they have shared: @se1f @realisophie @itgomyway @4dkellysworld @4dbarbie-backup @infiniteko @iamthat-iam and many more i cannot thank enough.

lots and lots of love (more than you can ever imagine), and good luck.

[thesimulacrasimp]

🦷🎪THE AMAZING DIGITAL CIRCUS EPISODE 3 SPOILERS🎪🦷

Okay i wasnt really planning to make this post but i really wanna. I know everyone is talking about Kinger rn n i would too, but i would just say the things everyone already mentioned, so i wanna talk about my bbg Caine again.

That may sound weird, but i REALLY wasnt expecting a character development for him, thats just always sounded crazy to me: AN AI. HAVING A. CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT. When im thinking bout it right now i think i shouldve expect it, with Gummigoo being an npc and having real emotions and feelings in ep 2, but i just always thought that Caine will be the same as character and wont get any character development through the show like everyone else does, yknow like in the 2nd ep we got Pomni's development and in 3rd — Kinger's and a little of Zooble's — i knew that we're gonna have that for every other human in this world (aka Raghatha, Gangle, Zooble and Jax (yeah i still think that jax is a human, theres no way hes an npc, that just doesnt make any sense, considering that Goose gave a canon age for him, so i dont believe in this stupid theory, sorry not sorry)) , but seeing Caine having other emotions besides happiness and sillieness (WHICH I REALLY DIDNT FUCKING EXPECT, I ALWAYS THOUGHT THAT AN AI THAT WAS MADE TO ENTERTAIN VIEWERS AND HIS "OBJECTS" (i didnt know how else to call the humans in da circus, srry, english isnt my first language) WOULDNT HAVE ANY REAL EMOTIONS — ALL HED DO WOULD BE FOR ENTERTAINMENT), so seeing him having REAL emotions was something i expected less than anything. JUST LOOK AT HIM BEING ACTUALLY IRRITATED AND OFFENDED.

And of course his almost breakdown scene. I WASNT EXPECTING THIS SHIT AT ALL. An Ai having a literal CRISIS because he realized that hes bad at the only thing he supposed to be good at is just...

And this is not only sad but also scary, you know why? Because when he started thinking about it, realizing it — the whole world started to glitch heavily.

And its DEFINITELY means something. My theory is that this world and Caine is kinda one isnt separating thing — if Caine is feeling good and happy - the world is also good, if Caine is having a breakdown and crisis - the world is also not feeling really good, if Caine is gone - the world is also gone, and now i think that we'll DEFINITELY get another moment in the future where Caine will be having a crisis (maybe even more extreme than that one) to the point where the world will become an absolute MESS of a glitches and the crew would have to deal w this somehow (and all of this probably will be made into a silly haha joke from Caine in the end). Idk how much of it will be the truth in the end - maybe some of it, maybe literally nothing, who knows, its just a theory.

Also this moment made me choke fr. Bro got so deep into his mind that he needed a therapist for HIMSELF

Holy shit that was a big ramble srry bout that, I just really REALLY love my silly goober Caine n i wanted to talk about him. Thanks for reading! And sorry for my horrible english lol

my sweetheart, my scrunkly, my babygirl💗💗💗

[the-s1lly-corner]

Oooh idk if someone already asked for it but what about how TADC cast would react if they were under a mistletoe with their S/O

TADC cast x reader under the mistletoe!

i know i literally just said that i was going to post because i just came down from a little..... emotional high (negative) but i feel too guilty not answering stuff today so im probably going to answer this and a few more simply because im going to feel so guilty if i dont do anything today which is just going to make me feel worse than i already do so uhuhuhuhuh... jack stauber coming in clutch rn i know i usually answer stuff in the order of them being sent in but to do a silly compromise for my silly people pleaser mindset im going to knock out the ones that are easier for me sooooooo

CAINE:

oh you just know that hes the one who planted the mistletoe in the first place.... i mean as soon as he found out about the tradition, assuming he didnt already know.. i just know hes going to do whatever he can to get you under it. does he know that he can ask for a kiss? yes! but he wants to be festive and do some traditions and stuff! gives you the biggest "kiss" he can give you when you finally get stuck together under one... probably knocks you back a little bit from how enthusiastic he is...

POMNI:

very shy about it, i think she would give you a cheek kiss rather than a mouth kiss, especially if there are other people around. pomni doesnt strike me as the type to one to full on kiss their partner when theres an audience, so i hope you can understand her aversion! its not that she doesnt want to kiss you, shes just shy about the eyes watching the two of you... though, she would be more inclined to do it if it were just the two of you in the area!

RAGATHA:

honestly she looks like she would love christmas. i dont know why and i cant explain why. so i think she would love most of the activities and traditions surrounding it. and yes, this includes the mistletoe! i think for most of these, the mistletoe would be hung up by caine to really sell the festive mood.... and ragatha likely wouldnt have planned this, but inevitably you guys get under it at the same time. not as against PDA as some of the others, i think, so i think she would give you a very gentle kiss on your lips. very bashful if you beat her to it, though. kind of folds her hands together and digs her foot into the ground... you know the stance, hopefully.. kind of swaying a little while her face is burning up

JAX:

probably makes a big stink of it, whether trying to deny the kiss or to lean into it. i can honestly see both... does NOT let you be the one to initiate the kiss, since while he hates PDA, i think he hates it more when hes on the receiving end. say it all the time, its a vulnerability thing for him. he doesnt like other people seeing him flustered... now will a simple kiss from you make him pink in the face? probably not, but he would rather not risk it! plus, he wants to take this as a moment to tease you! will not let you live it down if you even get the slightest bit embarrassed from whatever hes going to do under that mistletoe

KINGER:

think i mentioned this in the kiss cam request, but kinger is not against giving you kisses when theres an audience. like he wont full on make out with you in front of others (ignoring the fact that he doesnt have a mouth, much less a functional one) but i am a firm believer that he and other characters with a nontraditional mouth just nuzzle into your face in place of kisses... hmm... probably make a big show of asking if he can go ahead, afterall hes royalty! whats a royal without chivalry! very gently presses where his mouth would be against your lips for a few seconds before walking you guys to where ever you were planning to go before someone stopped you and alerted you both of the mistletoe above. generally very sweet and dorky, i think

ZOOBLE:

does not like giving or receiving affection in public, the furthest they are willing to go is hand holding and simple name calling.... if no one is around when you guys are under the mistletoe, theyre more than willing to let you have your kiss, but if theres even one person around, theyre going to show a little aversion to it... on one hand i want to say that they might suck it up and lean into their "its whatever" attitude, but i dont feel... like that suits them, and on top of that whats the point if someone is clearly not having fun/not comfortable, you know? so theyre more likely to gently reject you... though i like to think that they make up for it by giving you a kiss behind closed doors!

GANGLE:

freezes like a deer in headlights when someone loudly announces that you guys stopped together under a mistletoe, the eyes of her mask going wide and her mouth just going straight... if she has her comedy mask, she might be a little less.. frozen, but not by much... but with her tragedy mask? nope, shes totally still and quiet, poor thing.... you almost feel bad, so really theres a chance you just take her away from the scene rather than kissing her.... doesnt like being put on the spot for things like that, especially if the person alerting you guys of the mistletoe is making a huge scene (either caine or jax... though with caine it would be more so lighthearted fun with no malice, whereas jax is just being jax)

[lemedstudent2021]

4 years ago when the dumbfuck (biden) won, i was a first year university student, nodding along solemnly when my family briefly discussed foreign and internal politics over our tea, pleased to be finally old enough to somewhat contribute to adult conversations.

i still clearly remember my aunt saying "well, he isnt any better [than his predecessor] but at least he cant be worse". the conversation moved on from there, but my thoughts lingered. i didnt know if i wanted to be a cynic or an optimist, so i drank my tea in silence.

--

this past year has been one of the darkest in our human history, the scale of death and destruction and pure unadulterated depravity is unmatched. it will truly be long before the world can hope to recover from the atrocious damage that has been dealt, if it ever does.

i wont go into details mainly because i havent the time nor interest in doing so, but the world to no ones surprise is changing, fast and taking a turn for the worse. it has been for years perhaps even decades now. in the grand scheme of things i mean.

for many of us this is nothing new per se, merely a tangible extension of our worst nightmares and fears, but for many others its a reign of terror of the most potent kind. one that will herald further losses, but this time around very few will be spared.

--

despite myself i did think that common sense would prevail and wed see the the fucker (trump) behind bars and hopefully dead and not- as of writing- about to win another 4 wretched years in office.

theres a sort of grim satisfaction seeing the bitch (harris) getting a big fuck you to the face, but its devastating to think that she is losing has already lost? to the biggest fuck you to the planet. i truly dont want to imagine what the world is going to look like 4 years from now. if there is anything left of the world to look at.

--

there isnt much to say or add i think. nothing i can contribute at least for the time being. i would however like to point to what jon stewart bless his soul has to say about the matter

esp at 02:15

sounds hypocritical to say after having said nothing but the worst, but i mean it when i believe that this isnt the end. to give up now is to doom ourselves and the rest of the world (and perhaps the trajectory of humanity itself, whos to say) into eternal darkness.

ive said it many a time on this blog before and ill continue to say it for as long as there is life in me; power will always be with the people. weve seen it time and time again throught history and before our eyes. we are a force to be reckoned with.

we do hold the power to change the tides, look how many countries fought with everything they had for their freedom, how many times we arose from the ruins and started building anew and with just as much fervour, how much damage we can do to the institutions that dare to transgress.

war brings out the worst in some but the best in others. this is a war, one the corrupt wage on the sanctity of our lives and human rights, one were all on the front lines of, for ourselves and those around us.

--

as cliche as it is, and i admit to it being so, our chances honestly are better when we move and act as one. dont be fooled into thinking our differences will seperate us; those in power follow the age old rule of divide and conquer & thrive when we are scattered and lost.

show them that our spirit is one and whole, prove to them that we wont give into their unjust demands. look out for one another and dont hesitate to come to each others aid. be kind to yourselves.

humanity as a whole literally and metaphorically depends on it.

Godbless & Godspeed

[ilynpilled]

also, in her converation with Ned, cersei outright TELLS him that Jaime would kill Robert if he knew how Robert abused her (fuck robert i hope he's rotting). and Robert knew it too which is why all his bruises were generally weren't on her face where people, specifically including Jaime, could see.

This is her exact quote: "Jaime would have killed him (Robert), even if it meant his own life"

that's probably one of the reasons why she doesn't tell him. she was in an awful, awful situation and it reflects the situation of so many other abuse victims across the world. it's not fair that she should have to keep this from her own family and worry about what her brother would do, but if he DIDN'T do anything...what kind of a person would he be? just look at Aemon the Dragonknight as a prime example

regarding this post: link

yeah thats the quote they refused to take at face value when almost everything about his characterization indicates that it would be the case.

i think when it comes to the discussions of much of this the dissonance comes from not confronting that this society refuses to acknowledge marital rape as rape. i do not have the quote at hand (@/georgescitadel might have it) but george himself has expressed that marital rape as a concept doesnt exist in medieval society. that is why it makes sense that while jaime is aware that robert “claimed his rights”, he does not recklessly murder him for it in rage unless cersei gives the word (again, we already know he is ready to do it after he sees that robert is disrespecting her by cheating on her and proceeds to ask her if she wants him dead for it. but like you pointed out, cersei understands that if he saw evidence of physical abuse he likely would not ask for permission and potentially get himself killed.) this is because arranged marriages are treated as a norm in which conjugal rape and a man claiming his rights is not really acknowledged or understood (more like confronted tbh) as rape. this is an integral aspect of the patriarchal domination thats present in westerosi society, its woven into its very fabric. women are placed into a role of subordination, again, it is robert’s “right.” and jaime too is unable to conceptualize it as sexual abuse on the level of rape. hence we get quotes like this:

like we know and understand that cersei was repeatedly raped by robert. we know she didnt make anyone kill her. we know what jaime is saying and thinking here is inconsistent and makes little sense if he believes that she was raped.

that other passage suggests that jaime does not fully grasp or know this. and in general society doesn’t for the most part, including most of the victims themselves. “claiming his rights” is not referred to as rape. robert also knows that what he is doing is wrong, especially the part where he is hurting her (theres also the layer of the code of chivalry being completely contradicted), but he refuses to confront it in multiple ways, and i dont think even he fully acknowledges it as rape either even though i refuse to believe that he is not aware of it. cersei’s right to label him a coward. same with ned in that very conversation, he even sees and knows that robert physically hit her, heard her say that she can scarcely bear him touching her, and yet he asks: “a thousand other women might have loved him with all their hearts. what did he do to make you hate him so?”, and cersei also doesn’t give the answer: “he repeatedly raped me.” jaime understands rape as terrible, he shows concern towards brienne, and risks personal harm (and gets it too since he is kicked unconscious because of it) saving her from it, and it is an act driven by empathy, and he even ironically acknowledges that rape can leave someone broken in a way that does not show on the outside. he executes pia’s rapist too, sets a precedent among his father’s men, and recognizes that she’s “scarred” where it does not show: “That’s all she is, a little girl in a woman’s body, scarred and scared.”

and re the present: while i have a sympathy for jaime in the sense that the betrayal that he was confronted with shatters the delusion that he made immense sacrifices for and defined most of his life atp, and the fact that it makes him feel that he was not actually loved by her as well as recontextualizing his most horrible decisions, he should be showing more consideration and empathy (and i am not saying that he is obligated to die for her either. he isnt) and put in the effort to actually place himself in cersei’s shoes and navigate these blindspots that he has (he has the capacity to, again: “they will leave her a cripple too, but inside, where it does not show”). right now, he is extremely bitter, violently even, and can be selfish and misogynistic as hell about it, and i obviously believe that that is something that has to be recognized by readers for what it is.

but still, regarding the rest, i also think ppl dont acknowledge that because of how medieval society operates there is a very skewed perspective and understanding of certain things and how that affects characters. even with rhaella, jaime is disturbed by the physical abuse:

like he doesnt use the word rape like he does with brienne and the bloody mummers, but he obviously hears and sees that the abuse thats happening to rhaella is horrid and hurts her, and feels a need/obligation to protect her. this is why it is not inconsistent at all that jaime would recklessly murder robert without “permission” even if it meant his own life if he saw evidence of physical abuse, but does not do the same for the marital rape/him claiming his rights. in this society it is not viewed as a violation of rights because women do not really have these rights in these circumstances. their purpose is to marry and bear children. rape is mostly understood and recognized as “low born criminals violently raping women”, “knights and soldiers violently raping women when their blood is up” etc, not “nobles in marriages raping their wives when they claim their rights”, or “coerced rape occurring every time nobles use brothels” etc.

and, as you may have noticed, there’s a strong “you’re hurting me” motif with all of this, because no matter what westerosi society normalizes to maintain patriarchal hegemony, it is obviously all an utter violation of human rights that deals immense harm and trauma to women.

[itgomyway]

why you already have your “desires” ♡

non dualism means there’s no duality in your world. theres no other force at play here. it is just you. everything that manifest into your reality is as real as you let it become. your fingernails being painted vs not painted is up to the observer; you.

you cannot keep letting your senses dictate what you have. not now not ever not even when it seems like they align exact with what you want. these senses are always misleading. i have money but its not physically touching my hand. does this mean i dont have it?

for example. more than half of you are manifesting a relationship (which is 100% OKAY. never let anybody make you feel bad for it). however, since you know about non dualism, you know that everything is consciousness meaning everything is you. this includes your sp.

when ppl say your relationship always reflects how you feel about yourself THIS IS TRUE because it is just you. everything is you. my boyfriend and how he treats me is a reflection of how i view myself. ill give you an example:

when i first met him i wanted someone who would always be there for me and always want to take care of me. and he showed me that. but due to my ptsd, i used to have episodes where id push him away and believe he didnt rlly like me or want me. we spoke less and he gave me my space and it used to upset me and id be confused until one day he did smth nice for me and when i said thank u he thanked me for “letting him love me”. this was months ago so i didnt think ab it much at the time but i literally was not letting him.

he had no choice but to follow my rules. he had no choice but to present the way i assumed he would and he directly told me this what does this have to do with non dualism? like i said, everything is me. theres no outside force doing something to me, it is just me.

and there is no separation involved. there’s no imagination that has to reflect to the real world theres no 3d conforming to the 4d and there. is. no. waiting. this has nothing to do with time. time is a concept the ego (you) created to better comprehend your senses (also you)

so when i tell u whatever u “desire” is yours, IS YOURS. the little voice in the back of your head telling you to think logical tell them to shut up because logic is another ego-centered term. the ego (who is you!) was created to protect your body. but you are not just your body.

you are pure consciousness. you are everything even what it is you desire. desiring doesnt exist when you are already everything you desire. you want that man? then hes yours babes. you want a fat paycheck? then its yours

“but i say that and then i check my bank account and-“ aht aht. what did i just tell you? stop leading your understanding with misleading senses. there is no separation from what you want and want you dont want because everything is inherently neutral in the first place.

theres no différence between the number in your bank account and the number “in your head”. the bank account and number arent even real in the first place so why do you care? be fucking free from anything you have once deemed “physical” therefore real. cuz none of it is babygirl

if you ever find yourself not believing bc you dont “see it” then remind yourself that you’re still looking at it from a point of duality which is wasting your time because you are one ☝️

© itgomyway

[paingoes]

Rubies

Missed Calls

(Content: living weapon whumpee, dehumanization, kinda dubious caretakers???)

=================

“No,” Iza said, “Yeah, I know. No, yeah. Yeah. Okay. No. No. I know.”

She pressed the phone tightly to her ear, her other hand pressed tightly to her forehead as she leaned over the kitchen table. She got up periodically to walk out on the porch if she really had to say her piece, but for the most part she just had to listen. She went minutes at a time without getting a single word in. 

The memo had taken about seven hours to circulate. It’d come in the dead of night, otherwise it probably would’ve received more attention. But by the time Iza had woken up, her phone was already buzzing, and she had a soft ringing in her ears like someone was talking about her. By noon, the phone was ringing nonstop. All of their phones were.

Kitty had stayed up all night. Now, she was crashed out on the couch, all curled up in a ball. Iza shook her gently.

“They want you to send everything. The chatlogs, the archives, everything. What you showed me,” she mouthed, still on the phone. Kitty yawned. She pulled out her laptop from beneath the couch, lazily hitting a few buttons. She’d been expecting this. Apollo told her to prepare their case in advance. It’d all felt very urgent at the time; now she just felt tired. She fell back asleep right after. It wasn’t for long.

“He wants to talk to us,” Apollo said, a weary determination in his voice. Kitty blinked her eyes open, sitting up quickly. Her tail flicked behind her. 

“I can’t believe it got to Levon already,” Willow sat on the counter, staring out into space. The horror had not left her face since yesterday. Apollo gave her a thumbs up. He could believe it just fine.

They went into the upstairs bedroom for privacy. Iza passed them the phone in the corridor. They sat cross legged on the bed as the dial-up sounded.

LEVON has entered a voice call with APOLLO.

LEVON: Hello?

APOLLO: Hey its Apollo. Kitty is here too she just woke up.

LEVON: Good morning, Kitty.

KITTY: good morning :3c

LEVON: Explain yourselves.

APOLLO: I want to say first that technically we had permission.

LEVON: Is that right?

APOLLO: We outlined that we were going to do a strike on the Centennial Ball and simultaneously run a rescue extraction and that is what we did.

LEVON: Very cute. The situation changes a bit when that rescue is of a million mega-joule atom bomb, living or otherwise. Do you disagree?

APOLLO: No. I know its a different situation.

LEVON: Kitty, do you disagree?

KITTY: no 

LEVON: So we understand each other?

KITTY: ya 

LEVON: I really don’t appreciate this kind of slickness when people’s lives are at stake. Lying by omission is still lying. 

LEVON: And to level with you I think it's kind of despicable that you are trying to pass this off as a rescue mission! It's a very transparent power grab and I am really not amused by it.

KITTY: levon

KITTY: thats not true

KITTY: we had plans to break him out well before we knew abt the psychic thing

KITTY: and actually we didnt even know we just suspected!! we didnt have confirmation until yesterday literally it was just a hunch

LEVON: That’s not what Iza said. Iza said you presented it to her as a weapons acquisition.

KITTY: thats because we were appealing to iza!!!!

LEVON: And now you’re appealing to me?

KITTY: yes!!!!

APOLLO: Can I interject? I don’t think thats fair. We briefed Iza on everything we knew for sure and everything that we suspected. The weapon thing only stood out to her because thats how her brain works. We told her we didnt have confirmation.

LEVON: She felt confident enough to bring dampers, which I’m sure you’re glad to have now.

APOLLO: It was better safe than sorry.

LEVON: Of course it was. Look, I’m reading over the logs right now. Tell me this. Why did you promise him amnesty?

KITTY: …becuz ur gonna give it to him right?

LEVON: Who said anything about that?

APOLLO: Captain?

LEVON: What? 

KITTY: ur not gonna give it to him????

LEVON: I’m not saying that. I’m just saying you shouldn’t have promised it.

LEVON: Frankly I don’t think that technology should even exist. Amnesty was not my first instinct.

APOLLO: Okay. I know we messed up. We should’ve told you. But you don’t need to take it out on him. 

LEVON: I’m not taking anything out on anyone. That’s not what this is about. I’m telling you the reality of situation. Just knowing the scale of destruction that he’s capable of, I can’t guarantee his safety.

KITTY: levon we’re sorry :(

LEVON: Stop that. Why are you apologizing to me? You should apologize to him.

KITTY: okiiiiii :(

APOLLO: We will. We know we overstepped. But it’s done now. We’re going to work with you from here and maybe we can figure it out together??

LEVON: For the life of me I can’t understand why you didn’t just come to me with this in the first place. 

KITTY: cause it was easier to ask forgiveness than permission :?

LEVON: Is it really? Is this situation any better for either of us? Better for him?

APOLLO: No, she has a point. Would you really have signed off on this if we asked you first?

LEVON: Probably not. Not the way you did it, anyway. I don’t like that you sent your poor brother in there alone.

APOLLO: Lun’s fine. I know the plan wasnt perfect but its the best we could do on short notice. 

APOLLO: If you saw the kid now, you’d understand. He’s not in good shape.

LEVON: I believe you. I’ve yet to hear anything positive about the treatment of psychics in Empire. 

APOLLO: Are we clear to bring him back then?

LEVON: Put Iza back on. We’ll talk about it.

APOLLO: Okay. Thank you Captain. 

KITTY: thank u!! 

Call with APOLLO has ended.

==============

(Masterlist)

Tags: @catnykit@indigoviolet311@snakebites-and-ink@vivulapom@scoundrelwithboba@whatwhump@pumpkin-spice-whump @deluxewhump @fuckass1000 @fuckcapitalismasshole @defire @micechomper

[gamblersdoll]

pussydrunk

in which, Gojo, would confess. MDNI- 18+, oral (fem receiving), head squeezing, mean and angry Gojo, whimpering Gojo, fingering, unprotected intercourse, est relationship?? angst, then fluff

Love was a tragic curse, at least thats what Gojo thought. Gojo believed love wasnt needed in a relationship. no, never.

until you and him started dating, you would always talk about the mysteries of love, and gojo would always ignore it. that stupid, yet attractive smirk plastered on his face. you two started dating for a while, going onto five months, and it was starting to get rocky.

fighting with gojo was like fighting with a wall that was freshly built, one that wouldnt be knocked down. youd grow angry, and gojo would just ignore your anger, your own pain. you two were arguing about head, how youd always go down on him and please him. however, the energy was never matched.

"i just dont give head, y/n." he said with a lazy smirk, peering over his damn glasses. "i dont see why its a big deal, we could just not give head." he suggested, knowing itd piss her off.

"or we could stop fucking all together.." she sneered, folding her arms. she looked to her side, not wanting to look at his stupid , yet, attractive face.

this caught his attention, him frowning and forming a pout. "wait jus a minute, we dont have to go that far." he protested, rolling his eyes.

if you had told gojo's younger self, maybe when he was 22, that here he was, between a girls legs and eating her pussy, hed laugh at you.

"fuck.. you taste so fucking good.." he said, legs thrown over his shoulders as you were devoured by him, "cant believe id pass this sloppy pussy up.. you cream so much when i eat you.." you moaned, gripping at the hair on his head. you were so close, you were grinding on his face, begging for his tongue to quicken. "cum, cum f'me, cmon, cmon!" he encouraged, shoving his fingers in your cunny, feeling the way you convulsed, how you spasamed, how you arched your back and then--

the feeling of his face being splashed against, him pulling away to the mess you created.

"...you just squirted on me." he revealed, still realizing your mess, how heavy you breathed, how fucking pretty your pussy looks. you eventually looked at him, his eyes wide, youd think hes angry.

"im sorr-" you attempted to say, before you felt his two thick digits in your pussy grind against your gummy walls.

"yer gunna do it again, until i say so.." he commanded, you didnt have any choice, not when hes pussydrunk.

"what the fuck do you mean, you dont love me??" you questioned, standing infront of him, folding your arms. you were more than pissed, and incredibly hurt.

"when did i ever say that i did??" he chuckled, hands in his pockets- this motherfucker didnt care, it was beyond him. he quite honestly didnt see the reason you cared, he just wanted you to finish dinner already, its been a long day.

"the shit i do for you, that doesnt mean anything..? the fact i basically have to save your ass sometimes???" you pestered, stirring the pot of the stew. you were growing pissed. the violent pissed, the pissed that you worked so hard to tame, the pissed only for special grades or hardass curses.

"oh no it does and i appreciate it, i always show that, i just dont feel love for you, if i did then that would be bad." he shrugged, "hows dinner coming along?"

youre worried about the stability of your relationship, and hes worried about food. what was his fucking problem??

you slammed the pot into the sink, emptying the contents of what once was dinner, you could go a night without your cooking... he couldnt.

"figure it out, im not doing shit for a man who doesnt give a fuck about me." you spat, walking to your shared bedroom, leaving gojo confused.

he didnt care, you can throw your little tantrum.

until, of course, youd change your social media relationship status to "its complicated" instead of "in a relationship." and once gojo got that message, oh how livid he was.

"what the fuck." he spat at you, gripping your arm as he glared into your eyes. the way his blue pierced into your brown, you would almost be scared , but you werent.

"isnt it complicated? you dont love me and we're in a weird position, so its consider complicated." you chuckled, trying to reciprocate the same energy he had just a week ago. what was his problem?

"youre a fucking brat, yknow? you stopped cooking, you stopped looking at me, you stopped everything." he snarled, leaning his face into yours. why did he care? what did you matter. you were just another girl who he dated, who he lived with, who he fucked, who he ate with, who he actually put effort in his appearance, who he actually give a full kiss, who he made love to-

"youre mine, princess- ohoh fuckk.." he groaned, plowing his fat dick into your pussy, his face in the crook of your neck, humping into you, eyes tightly shut. hearing you moan his name, he moaned yours back. "fuck youre so pretty.. my pretty bitch. oh fuck- fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck..ohmygod fuckkkk..." he whined, hands entwined into yours and spilling into your womb, while he whimpered.. he fucking whimpered, if you didnt cum from then, you surely did now. he wasnt his nonverbal, non noise making self. he let loose for a change, and all it took was for you to take a week trip with collegues.

oh, fuck.

he rolled his eyes hard, sighing while he looked away in defeat, his efforts in not falling in love, failed. just to realize it wasnt the kind of love he felt for geto, wasnt the kind of love at all. and all it took was you to pull away slightly, he put his head on your shoulder, sighing heavily.

"you were right.." he mumbled, holding you tightly. "i.. do love you." he whispered, feeling nervous to say, he couldve costed a good relationship.

"hm." she said, shaking her head and holding him back, "you wan'a kiss?" she asked, she didnt miss the way he perked up. "then say it again, and you can have as many kisses you want." she chuckled.

"love you," he said, trying to kiss her. she dodged it, moving her head to the side , drawing out a groan from his throat. "whaaattt?" he groaned.

"say it right, dont get lazy again." she warned, her own smirk on her face, something he always went feral for, whether she got it from him or he just found it really fucking hot on her face, the way the plump of her lips spread slightly, especially with that damn pina colada lip gloss on-

"i love you, princess. now can i please fucking kiss you?" he almost growled, not waiting for her answer, just smashing his lips against hers.

[fictionfixations]

Kalim in RSA (and I get off-topic)

Spoilers for Book 4 and 5 (im sorry jamil enjoyers. but im so biased towards kalim its not even funny)

(this spiraled into me talking all about kalim in the actual game so oops)

imagine how different the story would be if kalim was in RSA

and we just hear from jamil about these snippets about his 'master' (although itd be weird they'd be separated if jamil tended to him often to where he'd prob be like his personal servant? idk what situation would have jamil talk to us anyway but yknow maybe we get close, he's like the other friend who seems cool? he'll basically help us out with knowledge about things, fleshing out the world a bit more, as the only sophomore in the group cause he kind of feels responsible maybe? then BETRAYAL)

and then eventually partway through the school year KALIM IS THERE (we know why though) and he somehow ends up housewarden.

i have a dislike against RSA. its very petty and its kind of because they keep winning (and they dont even mean ill intent which is worse! …but its kind of like kalims kindness. and i like kalim but that might make me biased. SO. thus the existence of this.)

we probably wouldnt like him much right? (and i imagine he'd get his fair share of bullies. we find this out. he laughs it off like 'nah, im used to attempted assassinations and everything. this isnt nearly as bad.')

(id do the clapping between but ppl get annoyed, and i get annoyed) CUE KALIM BEING MORE THAN SMILES AND WE LEARN THAT ABOUT HIM !!

HES aware enough that he can cook food good using JUST magic (which takes precision to use it as good or even better than your hands right??. its in his labwear vignette. ruggies teaching him ofc so ruggie wants it to be good cause hes taking leftovers, BUT CMOONNN he can learn. ..and yeah it took a few years for jamil to teach kalim antidotes to common poisons so he could do it easy but kalims hardly a master at making potions so i call that good)

AND in book 5 he noticed vil had like the same look as jamil to where he knew something was going to go wrong (aka the poisoning)

maybe its to show how much kalim doesnt belong in NRC and thats why they dont pull the 'more than he looks at first glance' like cater with glimpses in vignettes and etc

but like COME ON.

the sultan might be dumb (i recently re-watched aladdin) but at least he knew enough that he didnt want jafar marrying his daughter cause hes OLD and also he doesnt want to force jasmine into anything (good intentions. im sure if they just waited and she didnt find a suitor in time he would've just CHANGED THE LAW like he did IN THE MOVIE because he wants her to be happy!)

ALSo he tried to look through the law jafar claimed to say that would make her have to be married to the vizier or whatever (aka jafar) but then jafar just pulled it away before he could (and then attempted to mind control him when he refused) mans was prepared to spend hours reading over it even if he didnt understand it but he wasnt given the chance

also kalim is worryingly nonchalant about stuff. i mean. you can get used to horrible things to where they just feel so normal and uninmportant i guess? but poor bby. hes been like 'i want to keep myself alive because if i die then someone else will get punished.' or like about poisoning, if someone has a change of mind and hes already dead, then he cant do something to help them, so he has to make sure he'll live.

..i really doubt that hes just. so oblivious. maybe in denial, but still.

anyway i got very off topic. my bad. and to be fair we do get to see more of him at some parts. but hhh

okay listen. denial. (i am also a believer that if when kalim confronted jamil, if he said he didnt do anything kalim wouldve believed him. bruh gave him excuses like '..i just got tired, right?')

"The real Jamil would never do such things! He's a good guy. He's always helping me, giving me a shoulder to lean on, and—" (Book 4 • Chapter 33)

we just. dont see him really crumble?? he just. keeps being optimistic

we convince him jamil is bad. he resolves to punch him for being a traitor and THATS IT?

he sobs at the end of jamils overblot but then he goes back to being optimistic like 'lets be equals!' (..it feels like he didnt really learn much though as he's still 'I didn't notice--' 'I--' and i wish he couldve gotten more awareness. cause he makes it about himself yknow and blaming himself but COME ON put some blame on jamil PLEASE? or like. ANYONE ELSE. you also cant notice shit if no one ever tells you about it that you dont even know to look for it! he doesnt want to be cautious about who he can trust so like, why would he think to doubt the person who hes known his entire life??? especially if its something that was just always there that it feels natural, how could he know better? hes sheltered! so someone shouldve explained it to him, made him realize things! aghhh)

heres the book 5 one btw

"I got a real bad feeling when I saw the look on your face after Neige's rehearsal. It was practically the same look I saw on Jamil's face when he lost control of himself over holiday break." (Book 5 • Chapter 62)

And I mean maybe he did learn in that he's more aware of this now than others because he knows what people could look like because of Jamil, but I feel like a lot of things were just so unsaid. That the first time blindsided him, but now he's kind of a little more worried about something happening while he's there that he didn't notice so now he's trying to notice things more??? Or like maybe having gut feelings that he'd ignored before because it was Jamil but now knowing better?

So he can be aware. but then the rest of the time he's just thought of as dumb or an idiot or forgetful and it just makes me sad. and i mean i get that he wants to see the best in people but we never really talk about how its more that its denial. a refusal to see it, and i want to understand why

or maybe its because he sees the good in people that he trusts they'll do the right thing. or he believes that the good outweigh the bad (although i dont know if it'd be the same case if it was someone he knew who got hurt)

like. okay back in book 5

"Besides, I would bet there isn't a single person in Scarabia who hasn't gotten help from Jamil at some point. Am I right?"

"See? There you go. He's been a model vice housewarden. In fact, he's put me to shame. He let dark thoughts get the better of him for a brief time. Other than that, he's a perfectly capable guy." (Book 5 • Chapter 10)

He justifies it with that Jamil isn't the only one to blame (he also blames himself), and that Jamil hadn't done anything wrong before then

which. AGAIn. means that in his eyes the good outweigh the bad. jamils better at his duties so jamil should stay as vice housewarden.

this was the first time jamil did anything bad so it'd be fine, it was just an error in judgment

AGHHh

nothing about the fact that his closest friend he views as a brother

"He's grown up with Jamil since a young age, and considers him a brother in all but blood." (from the In-game Album)

who would be the last person he'd expect to do such a thing BETRAYS HIM, planning to make everyone (or well just the people in scarabia) turn against him

like. that has to be a shock right??? AND THEN HE JUST. welcomes him back into his life like it was nothing im just. kALIM. SWEETIE.

and i mean i get its for the best since if anyone knew what actually happened anything could happen to jamil (and jamil has his own reasons i get that but this is about kalim)

but he still hangs around him. has him as his aide. so while something did change, it also feels like nothing changed at the same time.

"I'm always chosen. Always. That's such an obvious truth that I never even consciously processed it. But now I see that was only possible because of Jamil's constant sacrifices. He created that "truth" in my mind by always holding back. By always letting me win. ...It stings. "Galling" doesn't even begin to describe it." (Book 5 • Chapter 30)

also like one of the very few times he expresses how he feels about something (how it hurts not to be chosen for the first time, and/or that he was only chosen because of someone else so he wants to work hard)

and then grim shuts him down with "You wanna talk about galling? Imagine how I feel not even makin' the cut for the audition to start with."

like. COME ON.

Kalim responds with, "Ah, you're right. My bad! I didn't mean to rub it in. Goodness, there I go again! I'm super sorry, honest."

and yeah it can seem kind of spoiled but also. its probably because of that that he doesnt want to share his troubles because he's very privileged so it feels like he might not deserve to act like its anything when everyone else has to work so much harder, right?

AND ITS JUST. REAFFIRMING TO HIM THAT his troubles are nothing compared to anyone elses and im just aghhauihduadhw

he also cares a lot about other people (people like him as housewarden because he listens to their troubles and supports them) so i just. want him to be able to take a moment to care about himself and just admit these things that he usually doesnt get the chance to.

i got a lot more worked up than i meant to