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silver-rings-and-rabbits · 6 months ago

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Open Heart 2 - Chapter 20

Inevitable

Matthew was in for surprise the next morning when Ethan caught up with him and told him the diagnostics team had been officially disbanded as of 6AM. After chatting with Naveen, Ethan had decided the team should focus on diagnosing and curing as many people as possible.

“Now that the funds originally used to run the team can be redirected to the clinic, we can keep that open a little longer than predicted, and I’ve heard that a few other departments are considering doing the same,” he said. “Anything very complicated can be transferred to Kenmore. Since they were bought-out, they’ve had a big increase in funding and equipment; would-be diagnostic patients are in good hands.”

He said the last sentence as if it gave him a stomach-ache, and Matthew laughed as he walked to the clinic.

He didn’t know what he expected, but it wasn’t a line of people all down the hallway and out the door. Doctors filled the exam rooms and nurses walked up and down the line, diagnosing patients where they could. Naveen was leading a boy down the hall, calmly explaining how he would mend a broken arm. Baz was conducting an eye exam in one room, Elijah and Sothy were treating a food-poisoning patient in another.

“Hey Matthew,” Jackie said from behind him. “You were sent here too, huh?”

“This is insane. It’s like we’ve got half the city in here!”

“I know,” Jackie grinned. “Fancy a competition? Whoever logs the most patients gets coffee from the other.”

“You’re on.”

Matthew called in a woman who had pink eye, which would clear up on its own and a warm, damp cloth would soothe the itching. She was followed by a man dealing with a pinched nerve that would require painkillers. After the man came a tired dad: his toddler twins had come down with chickenpox at the same time.

“Try to keep them from scratching. An over-the-counter antihistamine will help. Have you had chickenpox yourself?”

“Yes, when I was five. My wife suggested having some neighbourhood kids round, but is that safe?”

“It’s much better to get chickenpox as a child, so go ahead, as long as the parents have had it.”

The man looked a tiny bit relieved as he left. Jackie seemed slightly frazzled as she saw her patient off.

“That guy should have had his tonsils out years ago but absolutely refuses surgery. I spent ten minutes trying to convince him that it was in his best interests, but when that ended up being a lost cause I had to help him find a ‘new-age’ alternative. I give it about eight months before they start bothering him again.” She sighed. “Any joy on your end?”

“Wait, you’ve only seen one guy? I’ve just said goodbye to my third patient, and they were a set of twins!”

“I hope you dance in the rain and get pneumonia.”

Matthew was still smirking as he called in his next patient, a thirteen-year-old girl coming in for a second HPV vaccine. The fact that she was terrified of needles and had fainted when receiving her first dose wiped the smile off his face, and he spent a lot of time working on anti-anxiety techniques. He finally got the jab done by playing Olivia Rodrigo very loudly as the poor girl sat with her eyes squeezed shut and her mom tightly holding both her hands. He gave her an extra candy for her ordeal.

“Matthew?” Ines found him between patients, an hour later. “Oh good, you’re available. Can you help us out?”

She stepped aside and Esme walked into the room, rolling her eyes.

“There was a collision with someone carrying over a tray of surgical tools and Esme cut her arm. It may require a stitch or two, but Esme would only agree if you were the one to do it.” She spoke with a look of motherly exasperation, directed at Esme.

“Sure, leave it with me.”

Ines left and Esme sat down on the bed.

“I told her she didn’t need to make a fuss but…”

“No, she was right,” Matthew said, peering at the cut on Esme’s arm. “You’ll need a stitch for this. And to think, out of all the doctors here, you trust me the most!”

“Well, if you’re gonna get mushy about it…”

Matthew cleaned and disinfected the wound before infecting a small dose of local anaesthetic.

“Have you thought about where you’ll go after Edenbrook?”

“I’ve applied to hospitals in New York. Figured it made sense, being in the same state as the PI and everything.”

“Have you thought about a sabbatical or anything? It might give you the chance to travel to them in person.”

“I’m not sure I want to do that, at least not right now.” She chewed her lip. “I’m not the same as I was back then, and I doubt my parents are too. So the PI’s just going to locate them and then we’ll go from there. And if they do want to see me…I can visit.”

“I’m sure they will,” Matthew murmured as he put a stitch in Esme’s cut and covered it with a small bandage. “Alright, that’s good to go. Page me if it starts violently spurting blood.”

****

The deluge of patients continued throughout the day. When Matthew finally got the chance for a break, he realised another six hours had passed. He and Elijah took a breather in the lounge, drinking cups of coffee.

“Can you believe today? I feel like I’ve been run over with people.”

“Same. How’s Sothy handling it?”

“He’s actually doing really well. I cracked down since you saved our asses – he’s been scared of you since then,” he added, smirking, “And made sure he actually started learning stuff. He complained at first but once he realised that’s what needed to happen he’s been going up and up and up. What about you? I don’t see you working with Esme as much.”

“Dr Banerji wanted to take off some of my workload whilst I was recovering from the attack, so she’s bounced between me, Zaid and Ines. Regardless, she’s very independent. She’s been able to handle it.”

“At least she hasn’t been making your life difficult by…I don’t know…administering illegal drug treatments!”

“That was one time!” Matthew snorted into his coffee.

****

The rest of the week passed in a similar fashion. Matthew would be directed to either the clinic, where he would treat minor illnesses and ailments, or to the ER, where he would stabilise emergency victims before they were transferred to receive the rest of their treatment elsewhere. According to Aurora, Mass Kenmore was slowly filling up. She wasn’t quite working the same frantic hours as everyone else, and offered to be in charge of dinner back at the apartment. This was met with mixed reactions from everyone until she ordered pizzas. They couldn’t live on takeaways forever…but they wouldn’t be working like this forever either.

Matthew focused on the positive, that he was helping as many patients as he could and the cost of care was coming in cheaper than usual. Kyra had appealed to Naveen and got him to agree to cut large bills. It wouldn’t make a difference to Edenbrook’s situation, she said, why burden patients now? It was the last thing she could do to make sure Edenbrook could help as many people as possible.

Friday night, Matthew finished up his shift and left the hospital to find it was already Saturday morning.

“How the hell did it get to be tomorrow?” he groaned, suddenly feeling disoriented.

“Matthew, over here!”

Keiki was jumping up and down, waving her hands at him, and just being generally too perky for a teenager at the crack of dawn. Bryce was loping behind her, yawning.

“Hey Lahelas. What’s got you so excited?”

Keiki whipped a folded piece of paper from her pocket and held it up excitedly.

“I got in to Invictus! I’m gonna be a full-time student in September!”

“Congratulations!” Matthew looked over at Bryce as he gave Keiki a congratulatory hug and saw him beaming with pride. “So if you don’t start until September, what’s got you up so early?”

“We were invited in for a campus tour, since we’ve never been before,” Bryce said. “Lucky us, it starts at 9AM and is a two and a half hour drive.”

“Do you want to come with us?” Keiki asked. “Bryce told me that you, Jackie and Raf helped him search…and you helped me settle in when I got here.”

“That’s really sweet of you.”

Matthew was so touched, he went back inside Edenbrook and swapped his shifts around to keep the day free.

“Are you sure your car can make the journey? It doesn’t look like the strongest model…” he teased as they walked towards Bryce’s car that was possibly the same age as Keiki.

“You’re right, we should take your car…OH WAIT, you don’t have one,” Bryce retorted. “Just for that, get in the back.”

“Good, because I’ve been at work and need to stretch out.”

“And I was going to fight you for shotgun anyway.”

Matthew sprawled over the backseat of Bryce’s car, and Keiki instantly started fiddling with the radio and CD player as Bryce pulled away from the hospital.

“Can we play a podcast?” she asked.

“Put headphones on if you want, but you won’t be able to connect it to the speakers.”

“You should update your car.”

“If you’d rather I spend my trust fund on a fabulous car…”

“No, no, I’m good!”

“So hang on,” Matthew said. “Technically, who’s paying for school?”

“I am,” Bryce said. “My trust fund will cover the fees. Keiki’s still got her fund, luckily, but she won’t be able to access it until she’s eighteen.”

“I guess I’ll be upgrading your car then.” Keiki grinned up at Bryce with gratitude; she wouldn’t forget any of this.

As Bryce cautiously wound his way through the Boston traffic, a young man pulled up behind them in a bright red car. The car itself was almost as loud as the motor and the driver kept attempting to overtake but couldn’t get round the oncoming traffic.

“I smell a car crash,” Matthew muttered.

“Did your mommy buy that car?” Keiki said as the driver finally managed to get into the next lane at the traffic lights. He seemed to be trying to trash-talk them through the window, but before Keiki could get the window down to hear, the lights were green and the boy racer was zooming away.

“Go after him, Bryce, we’ll show him who’s boss!”

“No way. I fully intend to get to Invictus with you and my car in one piece.”

“What about you and Matthew?”

“We’re a doctor and a surgeon, we’ll be fine. But you, I have a duty of care for.”

Keiki accepted this with a roll of the eyes but she perked up when a plume of smoke came into view on the highway. It was coming from a familiar red car, and a boy racer was stood next to it shouting down the phone. Keiki took great delight in rolling down the window and flipping the bird as Bryce tooted the horn.

“I love karma,” Matthew said.

“Let that be a lesson to you, Keiks.”

Now that they were out the city and on the highway, the drive became smoother. Keiki flipped through (and dismissed) Bryce’s CD collection, then bickered with Bryce about how far she could roll down the windows without messing anyone’s hair. Matthew settled down on the back seat and closed his eyes, letting the siblings chatter fade into the background…

He was woken up suddenly by Bryce honking the horn.

“Rise and shine, Matthew, we’re here!”

“Jesus Christ, couldn’t you have just poked me?!”

“Keiki said the horn would be more fun.”

“No I didn’t!” Keiki gasped as they climbed out the car and stretched their legs. Bryce had found a spot next to a garden lined with hedges and colourful flower beds. Matthew recognised it as the spot where the kids were pictured playing with a tightrope on the website, but there was no time to stop for a proper look as Keiki was practically skipping along the path to the reception desk.

The whole campus felt like a grand manor house, with the main office being the first in a row of mews around the back of the school building. It was followed by the admin office, the porters cabin, the accommodation and finance office, and a health clinic that included sexual health. Matthew couldn’t help feeling a little impressed with their openness.

“The tour starts in the English department at ten and goes round the campus, lasting for around two hours,” Keiki said, reading the timetable she’d been given. “Can we look at some dorms until then?”

“You got it.”

They found the dorms – a slightly more modern building – across the road where a boy called James showed them his room. It was standard: a single bed, a desk and chest of drawers and not a lot of floor space, but the window was tall and James had a lot of posters on the walls and trinkets on the desk.

“Pretty sure this is bigger than my room at med school,” Matthew said.

“You moved into a closet, your standards are low,” Bryce reminded him. “Nice view out the window though.”

The window looked out onto a garden where students were milling around, enjoying the spring morning. Some of them were eating toast, most of them held mugs.

“Is there a common room or anything?”” Keiki asked.

James led them down the hallway to a living and kitchen area. A TV hung on the wall above some brightly coloured couches and bean bags. A long table was along one wall and a large bookcase was along the other. A sign encouraged leaving unwanted books on the empty shelf for other students to read.

“We go to the cafeteria for proper cooked meals but we can have snacks and hot drinks here,” James explained, indicating the three fridges, microwaves and kettles. “But if you don’t want to share anything, keep it in your room.”

“Noted,” Keiki giggled. “Are all the dorms like this?”

“They try and keep them generally the same, it just depends on the building. There’s a few houses down the street that the school bought and converted, so they look different, but Invictus keeps them up to standard. You live in the same room until you graduate but you can apply for a room swap if you need.”

Keiki wanted to find out more about the accommodation but they had to move on to the English department for the academic tour. It was led by a very tall man who looked very stern until he opened his mouth and exuded an energy that was impossible to dislike. Keiki seemed very keen on the feminist literature module in the English department and was pleased to hear there would also be a creative writing assessment.

“She’s always writing in a notebook,” Bryce said to Matthew in a low voice. “But whenever I ask to see it, she tells me to mind my own business.”

Moving on from English into Science – a decidedly less photogenic square block hidden by trees – Keiki was introduced to a woman with a lot of curly hair who looked more like a stereotypical art teacher. Keiki asked plenty of questions regarding chemistry and physics and what kind of experiments they did. The curly-haired woman took a shine to her, telling her it might not be that exciting in reality but she appreciated the enthusiasm.

“What do you think?” Bryce asked, as they sat in the cafeteria two hours later drinking coffee. “You look like you’re having fun.”

“I really like this school, Bryce,” Keiki said, with a shy smile. “I think it will be one of the best decisions we’ve ever made.”

“Actually agreed. It’s going to be great for you.”

Keiki went to use the toilet and Matthew noticed Bryce was looking oddly pensive.

“Are you alright? Don’t tell me you’re empty-nesting!”

“Of course I am! My nest! It’s empty!” Bryce acted dramatic, but there was an edge of seriousness about it. “It’s crazy that when she first got here, all I could think about was sending her home and getting my bed back and not having to hide my underwear. But now…I’m really going to miss her! Don’t tell her that,” he added, sternly, and Matthew laughed.

“I’m sure she’ll miss you too. But it’s a good thing. You get your apartment back and, instead of sending her back to horrible parents in a lonely mansion, she’ll be going somewhere she can really thrive.”

“I guess it really is the best of both worlds, huh,” Bryce said. “Thanks for coming with us, Matthew. You look dead on your feet and we really appreciate it.”

“Anything. Just don’t wake me up with the car horn again.”

****

Matthew was back to the throng of work on Sunday – word had spread around the city and now it seemed like the entire population was there for the most minor of problems, not that Matthew minded – but on Monday morning, he spotted a familiar face in the atrium.

“Raf!”

“Surprise,” Raf grinned. “I feel like I haven’t seen you in ages. I know you’re busy but I wanted to stop and say hello.”

“It’s always good to see you,” Matthew said. “If you’ve got some time, wanna help out? We’ve got so many people in today, the nurses won’t know which way is up.”

“If nothing else, I can be a coffee gopher,” Raf joked as Matthew led him down the halls to the clinic. “Oh wow, you weren’t kidding…”

There was a long line of people snaking around the rooms, some standing, some draped against the wall, and some just sitting on the floor.

“Hey, Ronnie, can Raf lend a hand with the triage for a while?” Matthew asked a passing nurse.

“I have four years’ experience as a paramedic,” Raf added.

“Come with me,” Ronnie said, and led Raf to the nearest nurses station to start triaging the waiting patients. Meanwhile, Matthew was pulled back into his examination room to diagnose as much as he could.

“Matthew!” Sienna rushed into the room. “I have to administer some vaccinations and I’m out of candy! Do you have any spare?”

Matthew hunted around the cupboards and found a bag of lollipops tucked away at the back.

“Godspeed,” he told her seriously, before calling in his next patient.

The patient in question was tall, but kept his head down as he shuffled into the room and sat down. He only looked up after removing his baseball cap.

“Keller? What are you doing here?” It was unprofessional, but the last time Matthew had seen Mitch he had been extremely disrespectful to Sienna. He cleared his throat and tried again. “I mean, what brings you here?”

Mitch looks up at Matthew slightly apprehensively before revealing his hand. It was haphazardly wrapped in a slightly blood-stained bandage.

“Attacked by a soup can lid,” Mitch muttered. “Thought the bandage would hold but…looks like it needs stitches.”

Matthew unwound the bandage to reveal an angry red gash across Mitch’s palm.

“That looks like…I’d estimate four stitches.”

Matthew retrieved a suture kit and started prepping to mend the wound.

Mitch watched warily, as if he half-expected Matthew to stab him with the needle, and an awkward silence fell as Matthew treated the wound.

“Keep those covered and dry,” he said, rebandaging his hand. “Come back in a week to have them removed, sooner if you think they’re infected.”

“What happens if Edenbrook’s closed?”

“We should be open for another couple of months but other hospitals will be able to take care of it.”

Mitch nodded. He shifted where he sat, looking like he had something he wanted to say.

“Um…is Dr Trinh working today?”

Matthew went very still.

“Why do you ask?”

“I need to talk to her about something.”

“Really? I hope it’s an apology for your attitude.”

“Um…yeah.” Mitch looked like he hadn’t considered that until just now. “But also something important.”

He wasn’t any more forthcoming so Matthew made him wait where he was as he walked down to where Sienna was tending to someone. He approached her as she finished up and saw off the patient.

“Mitch Keller just turned up in my exam room. He said he wants to talk to you.”

“What about?” Sienna’s smile fell and she looked doubtful.

“He wouldn’t say, he just said it’s important.”

Sienna considered. Then her expression hardened. She stood up straight and lifted her chin.

“Alright. Send him in here and I’ll deal with whatever it is.”

Matthew would always have Sienna’s back but he had the feeling she wouldn’t need him for the moment as he sent Mitch to where Sienna waited for him.

His shift diagnosing patients finished an hour later so he went to see where he could help out next when Rafael caught up with him, slightly out of breath, eyes bright.

“Hey, you alright?”

“Yeah, just a little surprised at how fast-paced everything is. You said it was non-stop, but the reality is something else.”

“Honestly, I love it,” Matthew grinned. “We’re helping so many people…speaking of which, I’m done at the clinic for now. If you’re good to carry on, want to team up?”

“With you, always.”

They ended up being called on to be runners; moving furniture and equipment to help the staff in the clinic, and after carefully bringing a portable sonogram to a pregnant woman, Elijah called them in.

“Can you guys bring a gurney for Mrs McGregor here? She’s had severe vomiting and I don’t want her fainting. A wheelchair will do.”

“You got it.”

They found a spare gurney a few hallways down, but as he went to pull it towards them, Raf stumbled and his leg gave way.

“Are you alright?!” Matthew gasped, rushing over and kneeling beside him. Thankfully the corridor was empty.

“Yeah…” Raf murmured. He sat up slowly, a little pale and obviously shaken. “I just got dizzy. Maybe…maybe I overdid today.”

“Have you stopped at all since you came in?”

“No, I was helping run triage for a couple of hours before I caught up with you. To be honest, I thought I was doing OK. I’ve never collapsed during physical therapy, and running triage was familiar to my paramedic job, so I started to think…well, it was almost like exactly how I was before the attack. I guess I got over-confident.”

“Do you want to get checked out?” Matthew asked. “I’ll page Dr Mirani if you don’t want to go back to the clinic…”

“No, I’ll be alright. I’ll just go home and rest up.”

Raf stood up slowly, bracing himself against the wall.

“Raf…”

“Don’t worry about me. I’ll catch up with you later. Sorry I can’t be of any more help.”

He started walking away before Matthew could say anything else, but no matter how tall he stood, he couldn’t quite hide the tremor in his side.

Matthew had to return to work as if everything was fine, but he couldn’t get the image of Raf collapsing out of his head. Sure, he’d said he was OK, but he did have a tendency to downplay his problems…

“Matthew, are you OK? You seem lost,” Sienna said as she walked out of her examination room. “I was going to grab a cup of coffee if you want to come?”

“Er…sure.”

Matthew didn’t think Raf would want anyone to know what happened yet, so he thought of something to divert Sienna’s attention.

“Was everything alright with Mitch?”

“Everything was fine. You’re not gonna believe this, but he wants to restart his residency. He’s applying to some smaller hospitals just outside of Boston, not as prestigious as Edenbrook, and he wanted me to give a reference.”

“You’re kidding! What did you say?”

“I told him I would provide an honest reference, but if he screwed this one up, never to contact me again. I’ve helped him as much as I can; it’s on himself now.”

“As long as you’re happy with your choice.”

“I am. I felt partially responsible for how his residency ended, now I’ve remedied that. And I won’t have to pick up his slack.”

“Best of both worlds,” Matthew said as they reached the coffee machine. He glanced around the half-empty cafeteria, remembering the many hours he had spent studying here. They had hosted a going-away party for Mrs Martinez in this very cafeteria…and it was where he told Rafael about the part he’d played in her death. A lot had happened since he’d arrived at Edenbrook, and the idea of letting it all go was scary.

****

Upon getting home, tired and aching, he collapsed straight onto the sofa. He didn’t move when the doorbell rang a few minutes later. When no movement came from the bedrooms, he realised he was the only one home. The doorbell rang again.

“Why don’t we have a clapper for that yet?” he groaned into the cushions. “Coming!”

He dragged himself up and over to the door and opened it to find Rafael, smiling sheepishly and clutching a brown paper bag.

“Too late for a home ice-cream sundae bar?”

“Oh my god. Get in here.”

Raf laughed as Matthew pulled him into his apartment, but pushed him back towards the couch.

“Go sit down, you look worn out. Where do you keep the bowls again?”

Matthew watched Rafael making his way around the small kitchen. He moved with confidence, no longer limping, and when he brought back two bowls, spoons, and glasses of water, he had a genuine smile. Matthew returned it as he opened up pints of Madagascan vanilla, mint choc chip, and cherry chocolate. Raf had also brought sprinkles, fudge sauce, and chopped nuts.

“Good god, you’re brilliant.”

“Dig in.”

They loaded their bowls with a bit of everything and Matthew closed his eyes as he took his first bite, moaning in delight. Raf smirked.

“Tastes good then?”

“This is the best thing I’ve eaten all day.”

They spent a few minutes enjoying ice cream in peaceful silence until Matthew cleared his throat.

“So…how are you doing? Tell me honestly. It’s just you and me.”

Raf hesitated, then put down his half-empty bowl.

“I’m sorry I scared you,” he said. “I kind of left you hanging this afternoon.”

“Don’t worry about that. You seemed really upset earlier.”

“I was. Everything had been going so well, I had almost convinced myself I was back to full strength. Nearly collapsing was a very harsh reality check.”

“It doesn’t mean you’ll never recover. It was a bump in the road but you’ll be able to move past it. We both knew recovery wouldn’t be overnight.”

“I know. I called my physical therapist for help once I got back to Vovó’s. She agreed I overdid it and cancelled the session I was supposed to have tomorrow.”

“How are you feeling physically?”

“I’m fine now. I took a nap, then sat in the garden for a while, and then Lucas dropped by and we did some yoga.”

“Lucas does yoga?”

“No, but I needed to stretch out and de-stress so I forgave his lack of flexibility,” Raf chuckled. “Then I texted Sienna to ask when your shift was over so I could surprise you with a treat. Judging by the look on your face, I’d say job well done.”

“Spectacularly done,” Matthew said, as Raf picked up his bowl again. “I’ll be there for you whenever you need it. We can do yoga, or eat ice cream, or just sit in silence.”

“Thank you.” Raf took Matthew’s hand and kissed it. “Right now I’m just happy to enjoy what’s right in front of me.”

With their bowls wiped clean, they sat back on the couch, full and content. Matthew swung his legs across Raf’s lap.

“Thank you,” he said. “I don’t think I realised how much I needed this until you showed up.” He gently took him by the chin and kissed him.

“Well…you’ve looked after me so much I wanted to return the favour,” Raf said.

“You always do.”

They kissed again and again, until they heard a key in the lock. Jackie and Sienna looked at them with bemused expressions.

“I swear to god, if I have to regularly come home to you guys making out—”

“There’s ice cream in the freezer.”

“You’re forgiven. Care to join me, Sienna?”

“You got it!”

Raf laughed as he gave Matthew another squeeze.

“Shall we move into your room? You look exhausted.”

He stood, offering Matthew a hand to pull himself up, then they said goodnight to the girls before going to Matthew’s room. He wasted no time, stripping down to his underpants and collapsing into bed. Raf sat beside him, stroking his hair.

“Would you like a back rub?”

“Mmm…yes please…”

With a smile, Raf started rubbing up and down Matthew’s back and shoulders, digging into the stiff muscles, smoothing out the knots. Matthew gave a deep sigh of contentment as he slowly loosened up under Raf’s touch. The comfort of his bed and the warmth of Rafael made it very easy to drift into a peaceful sleep. He was barely aware of Raf kissing his forehead and whispering ‘good night’ before leaving the room.

But even the most comforting bedtime routine couldn’t keep the bad dreams away, and his sleep was disturbed with visions of himself wandering the plastic corridors in a desperate search for something important he just couldn’t find.

****

The next evening, the roommates plus Bryce were all huddled on the sofa but the mood was far from cheerful: they were looking into hospitals where they could transfer their residency. Aurora hovered with the coffee pot, keeping them fuelled with caffeine and third party observations.

“Anyone found anything yet?” She asked.

“I’ve just applied to Mass Kenmore to join their research team,” Elijah said. “The formula has a lot of potential, and I didn’t have a lot of options when I developed it. Mass Kenmore’s the only place that will enable me to work on it properly…”

“Elijah, you saved mine and Raf’s lives. This formula could save thousands more. Don’t feel bad for wanting to chase that.”

“Don’t let Landrat in on your secrets,” Jackie added.

“Oh my god, I just remembered,” Aurora said. “We didn’t broadcast the attack through the hospital but word got round and he eventually heard about it. He came rushing over and begged me for all the details of the research and what it was like working with Ramsey. The only way I could get rid of him was by snapping that I thought my friends were going to die and I didn’t appreciate him treating it like reality TV. He hasn’t spoken to me since.”

“I’m not even surprised he’d think of it like that. Good for you.” Jackie clinked her coffee mug against Aurora’s.

Matthew turned back to his laptop. He had to admit, he’d started to consider Kenmore – just because he didn’t like two of the doctors working there didn’t mean they were all the same – but Aurora’s story left a bad taste in his mouth. How many doctors thought the same as Landry and would hound him for details about the attack? Or would Landry and his judgemental glare constantly follow him around the hospital? And if he still thought he was right about Mrs Martinez, perhaps he’d think nothing of telling other doctors that Matthew couldn’t be trusted. Edenbrook had witnessed Matthew being cleared of all charges, Kenmore not so much.

“What about you, Sienna?” he asked.

“There’s a hospital in Nevada that wants to talk to me but…I don’t know, it’s in Nevada,” she sighed. “I’ll be completely on my own to start with.”

“That wasn’t an issue when you moved to Boston?” Bryce asked.

“No, I moved in with my ex-boyfriend first. Regardless, I grew up in Massachusetts so it didn’t feel like a big deal.”

“I was on my own when I moved to Boston and it ended up OK,” Matthew reminded her, and Sienna smiled.

“I’ve been looking at Carson General in Chicago,” Bryce said. “If you want moral support, I’ll send you the link and we’ll look at it together.”

“Do they have a peds department?”

“Sure, why?”

“I think I want to restart as a peds resident.”

Everyone looked away from their screens to stare at her.

“Really?”

“Since when?”

“Since the attack, pretty much. Things were really hard, as you all know, but I sort of ended up checking in at the peds department to fill the emptiness. The kids were always so sweet and fun to chat to. I guess it just clicked.”

“You’ll make an amazing paediatrician,” Matthew reassured her happily. “Actually, Bryce, can you send me that link too?”

Leaving Boston scared him, but at least Chicago was on the same side of the country.

“How about you, Jackie? Any joy?”

“There’s some promising places but…as soon as I get recognised as accepting Panacea kickbacks they’ll turn me away.”

“They can’t when you’re one of hundreds of thousands of doctors who accepted those kickbacks.”

“Besides, your skillset speaks for itself. You turned Gary Garrison into a competent doctor within half a year!”

“From what I hear, you didn’t even have to torture him!” Bryce added.

“I know, I know. I went soft.” Jackie was starting to smile.

“Joke all you want, but you’ll make an excellent attending one day,” Matthew said, with sincerity, knowing that, for all the stern exterior she put on, Jackie had a good heart. And he had a sneaking suspicion that, since the memorial, she had started to care more.

“Aaaw, you guys! I’m going to miss you! I didn’t want this to end!” Sienna sniffled. She had been keeping it together, but now her tears were welling up.

“Hey, it’s going to be alright!” Aurora said, grabbing some tissues for her. “You don’t need to cry.”

“I knew our residencies would end but…not like this! We had another year…then we could have stayed at Edenbrook!”

“Come on, we’ll keep in touch!” Matthew said.

“You know it won’t be the same.”

“Jackie, are your eyes glistening?”

“Bryce, I will break every bone in your body!”

Sienna threw her arms around Jackie in a big hug. Matthew joined her, and so did everyone else.

“This isn’t hellish at all,” came Jackie’s muffled voice, but she was smiling when they broke apart. They sat in contemplative silence for a while until Elijah spoke up.

“It’s not over till it’s over so…what do you say to a big blow-out night? For old times sakes.”

“Can we get super dressed up and go somewhere fancy?” Sienna said. “I need another excuse to wear my gala dress.”

“I’ll get dressed up, though if you wanted to wear your gala dress you could just do that.”

“What about Raf? Will he want to join us?”

“Way ahead of you,” Matthew said, already texting. “Alright, he’s game!”

Ninety minutes later, the group met Rafael outside a downtown bar named ‘Marbles’. It was full of sleek, black furniture, indoor plants, and lights in mason jars. Everyone had gone all out, wearing the fanciest suits and dresses they could find in their closets, though Sienna hadn’t had time to style her hair and simply wore it down.

“I’ll get the first round,” Matthew said. “What’s everyone having?”

“Something strong. I’m ready to go off the rails tonight!” Jackie said, receiving a cheer of agreement from the others.

“Am I going to be scraping you guys off the floor later?” the bartender joked as Matthew approached. “Sounds like you’re celebrating something.”

“Call it a going-away party,” Matthew said wistfully.

“What’ll it be?”

“Let’s see, seven of us so fourteen…no, twenty-one shots!”

The bartender burst out laughing.

“You know you can order as you go, right? At this point I’m obliged to remind you I have the right to refuse service later!”

But the bartender got mixing as Matthew went to the corner booth that his friends had taken. He slid into the velvet seat between Raf and Jackie as the bartender brought over a large tray of shot glasses.

“Holy smokes!”

“That’s what I’m talking about!”

“Alright guys, these are white gummy bear shots. Cherry vodka, peach schnapps, pineapple juice and a splash of soda,” the bartender grinned. “Enjoy.”

Everyone grabbed a glass and held it up in the air.

“If I may get sappy for a moment,” Bryce said. “It has been an honour working with you all and I wish you the best of luck with your careers…and I have no intention of losing touch with any of you.”

“Even Jackie?”

“Especially Jackie. She will have a front row seat at every award ceremony for my surgical achievements.”

“Dream on, Scalpel Jockey!”

The group laughed and downed their shots. It was exactly like a liquidised gummy bear in it’s fruity sweetness, just with the added burn of alcohol.

“Strong,” Aurora coughed. “Way stronger than the name let on.”

“Don’t tell me you can’t handle it,” Bryce teased.

“Yeah, otherwise one of us is going to be getting way out ahead on this night, and fast.”

“Raf, that’s big talk for someone who was worried about his own alcohol tolerance two months ago!” Aurora took another shot to prove a point.

Three shots and a cocktail pitcher down, the group were having trouble sitting still as they wobbled around the bar, squealed and laughed loudly with each other, and snapped selfies with unsteady hands. Matthew in particular felt very happy with the people around him, though it didn’t escape his notice that the bartender was watching them cautiously.

“OK, I have a very doctorly diagnosis,” Elijah said, grandly. “And that diagnosis is…I’m drunk.”

“Whoa…either you were swaying when you said that…or I was,” Aurora blinked slowly.

“You’re not swaying, Aurora, you’re perfect. Very stable.”

“Thanks Bryce. I’m gonna miss you.” Aurora started clumsily pointing to everyone in turn. “And you. And you. And you. Also you,” she added, patting Elijah’s cheek

“We’re going to miss you too,” Matthew beamed, though he wondered if he might start weeping.

“Guys.” Elijah leaned forward. “I have a…confession. I’ve been holding it for so long but I have to come clean.”

The gang fell silent in anticipation.

“Sienna…remember when you bought a pint of rocky road ice cream, put your name on it, put in the freezer and then someone ate it?”

“Y-yes?”

The group collectively held their breath.

“…It was Jackie. I’m sorry but I love everyone here too much to keep this dark secret any longer.”

“Your ‘coming clean’ is to rat me out? Traitor!” Jackie shrieked, but Sienna reached across to grab her hands.

“It’s OK, Jackie, you’re like a sister to me! Heck, I’d buy a second pint of ice cream for you to steal right now!”

Jackie gaped at Sienna for a second…then her lip quivered and she burst into tears.

“Jackie, you’re leaking!” Matthew gasped, momentarily forgetting his own drunken emotion.

“Quick, plug it up before the alcohol escapes!” Bryce cried.

“I’ve got tissues!” Sienna almost fell off her chair trying to retrieve them from her purse.

“I’ll look up knock-knock jokes on my phone!” Elijah started searching through his pockets.

“Stop…being…so…adorable,” Jackie wailed. “You’re making it woooooorse.”

“Jackie, listen.” Raf steadied himself on Matthew as he leaned towards her. “You’re always welcome to camp out on my couch if you want to come back for a Boston reunion sometime.”

“That’s so sweeeet…” Jackie tried to hug Rafael but ended up slumped against Matthew, so she sobbed over him whilst Raf rubbed her arm.

“It’s gonna be OK, Jackie,” Matthew consoled. “We’re all gonna miss us and we all thought we’d have more time so it’s OK to be sad, but we’ll all make it work—HEY you got my text!”

Everyone looked up to see Kyra, in a black cocktail dress, looking extremely amused at the scene before her.

“I could tell by the number of typos that it was going to be a good time,” she giggled. “What are you all drinking? Clearly I have some catching up to do.”

“We had candy shots!”

“Something about gummy bears…”

“And sex on the beach!”

“Yeah, but the drinking kind, not the sex on the beach kind.”

Kyra was still giggling as she made her way to the bar and came back with a cocktail glass and a shot glass, and did her best to catch up with the group, who ordered another pitcher, this time a tequila sunrise, though Raf decided not to have a glass. Soon they were back to their loud laughing and joking as the clock ticked closer to midnight, until Kyra grew quiet and reflective, stroking the rim of her cocktail glass.

“Can I be real with you guys for a second?” she said, suddenly. “I wanted to apologise…”

“What could you possibly have to apologise for?” Matthew spluttered.

“Edenbrook. I have to apologise that I couldn’t save it. Or anybody.”

“That is not on you,” Jackie said resolutely. She’d stopped crying but her make-up remained smudged around her eyes. “You did your best and you did a damn good job.”

“She’s right, Kyra, no one could have tried harder,” Raf said.

“What does trying even mean anyway?” Kyra sighed. “Edenbrook closes or it doesn’t. People live or they die…Did you know Danny helped me through my first cancer surgery?”

“Kyra…”

Kyra was a little too far gone and the mood grew sombre as she continued to speak.

“I knew Danny for years. He saw me through the worst of my surgery. And Bobby always said hello, bought me coffee once a week. Sweet Bobby. How is it they die and I’m OK?”

“Because it was in no way connected to your life. You’re not to blame for that. You were literally in surgery for the whole time.”

“And don’t wish for your place to be switched,” Jackie said darkly. “Sometimes bad things happen to good people, but it doesn’t mean you’re bad.”

“I know it has nothing to do with anything, but it doesn’t feel that way. But that’s why I wanted so much to save Edenbrook, and why I’ll keep fighting the good fight. Edenbrook saved my life.”

“It saved mine too, several times,” Raf said. He wrapped his arms around Matthew and hugged him close. “I wish I could have saved Danny and Bobby. But I don’t regret going in there. If I could save Matthew…I’d do it again.”

Matthew sniffled, leaning into him.

“Is it weird thinking the attack brought you guys back together?” Bryce asked. “Like, your anniversary is the anniversary of the attack.”

“Wait…” Matthew detached himself from Raf to speak. “We have to mark our anniversary? It’s not like we’re married…”

“We can mark whatever milestones we want to,” Raf smiled, rubbing Matthew’s back. “Technically we got back together a little after the attack. And…I don’t think we have to mark just one or the other. Nothing’s black and white.”

“…Maybe zebras…” Elijah murmured, but Sienna cleared her throat.

“Can I raise a toast? To Danny and Bobby. For being so cool and fun…making us smile…being great to work with…”

Her voice choked off. Elijah covered her hand and continued the toast.

“Danny and Bobby. We’ll never forget you. And we wish you were still here.”

“Danny and Bobby…Danny and Bobby…”

One by one, the group raised their glasses and clinked them together in a toast. Sienna began to sob, looked after by Elijah and Aurora. Matthew turned to Rafael and kissed him. No one had the heart to pull them apart.

The bar closed at 1AM and they were sent out into the street, stumbling a little, still talking and laughing loudly. Matthew suggested Donahue’s – why mess with a winning formula? – but when they got there, last call had already been called.

“This is what happens when we go out on a random weeknight…everywhere closes early,” Elijah laughed. “Whose stupid idea was this?”

“If you guys humour me,” Kyra said. “I have an idea…”

They snuck in through the staff entrance of Edenbrook and piled into the elevator, finally emerging onto the rooftop.

“I always wanted to come up to the helipad but I was never urgent enough for a medivac,” Kyra sighed, wistfully, looking out over the lights of the city.

“That’s right, always look on the bright side,” Elijah said. “I don’t suppose anyone grabbed a beer along the way?”

Matthew looked out over the lights and skyscrapers. The apartment he’d grown up in had a similar view over Denver. He didn’t miss it; it had stopped being home a long time ago.

“You sure it’s OK that we’re up here?” Sienna asked.

“What are they gonna do, fire someone?” Jackie sniggered.

“This view takes me back,” Raf sighed, as the group huddled together to take in the view. “Helivac trips…they were something.”

“A good something? Or a bad something?” Aurora asked.

“To be honest, someone had to be in a really bad way for the helicopter. But flying was something else. I still miss that kind of rush.”

Matthew scooted closer to him, relishing his warmth.

“I’ll buy you one for your birthday,” he said. “Not your next birthday, I need to save up. But when I’m a hot shot doctor making mega bucks, I’ll buy you a helicopter.”

“I’ll start looking for apartments with helipads,” Raf laughed.

“Speaking of apartments, when do you move again?” Bryce asked.

“April 1st. Vovó has been dealing with it by buying, I kid you not, eight new throw blankets. ‘In case you get cold, anjinho’,” he quoted, with a fond twinkle in his eye. “Although that makes one each for everyone, so you can all come and stay at Casa Aveiro!”

“Woohoo!”

“Let’s raise the roof!”

“You might have just made a mistake, Raf!”

“Never!”

“I know that wherever life takes us, we’ve bonded too much for it to be the end of us,” Matthew said. “And I’m going to fight tooth and nail to make sure you all remain a part of my life.”

“Stop being a sap and dance!” Jackie laughed. She took her phone out of her purse and opened up a playlist, cranking up the volume until dance music blared over the roof.

“Woo! Dance with me, Elijah!” Sienna cried, spinning round him. He wasted no time, rolling along to the music, and soon Jackie and Aurora were dancing alongside. Not one to be left out, Bryce threw himself right into the middle, giving it his all. Matthew watched from where he stood, completely content to hold Rafael and watch his friends have fun.

“You know you don’t have to buy me a helicopter,” Raf said, sliding his arms around Matthew’s waist and kissing his cheek.

“I’d give you the world, Raf.”

“Are you alright?” Raf asked gently. “I know there’s a lot of things changing right now, I hope you’re not too stressed.”

“Hmm…I don’t wanna talk about that right now.”

Matthew started kissing Raf full on the mouth. He made a little surprised sound, then started kissing him back, holding him close.

“Come home with me tonight,” Matthew begged, and Raf could never say no.

****

The next two weeks passed in the same fashion as they had before, with an ample number of patients passing through the hospital. Raf moved into the North End with the help of his family and friends. Matthew wanted to help but when the day came, he found himself so exhausted, all he wanted to do was sleep. Besides…he had a sneaking suspicion the increased nightmares were because of the prospect of leaving him…losing him again.

The day before the hospital closed, Matthew stood outside with his friends. They had all taken the T together and were now staring at the glass front of the hospital one last time.

“I guess this is it,” Matthew murmured, still in denial.

“Yep,” Jackie replied.

“You know, I wouldn’t change a thing,” Sienna said, She slipped her hand through Matthew’s as they walked through the doors.

“Valentine, I’ll need you on administration in the diagnostics office today,” Ethan said, by way of greeting.

Matthew followed him up to the seventh floor where he got started transferring patient files. They worked in silence, Ethan not having the energy to talk, and Matthew didn’t want to open up the prospect of leaving, when a familiar face suddenly appeared at the door.

“Oh, thank god, you’re here,” Leland Bloom gasped. “Please…my wife…she’s in a bad way…”

“Mr Bloom, the diagnostics team was disbanded,” Ethan said. “But if you need medical attention I can send you to Mass Kenmore.”

“No. We’ve tried every hospital in Boston and no one can figure out what’s wrong,” Mr Bloom spluttered. “Please doctors, I’ll pay whatever you want, your diagnostics team is my last hope.”

He was frantic, looking suspiciously close to tears. His hair was unkempt and his clothes rumpled, wildly different from the stern, uptight billionaire Matthew had seen last August, and he didn’t know how to react. He and Ethan looked at each other…then Ethan nodded resolutely.

“Dr Valentine, page Dr Mirani. Mr Bloom, please bring in your wife,” he said. “The diagnostics team can take one last case.”

Tags: @sazanes @rafasgirl23415 @ceruleansnake0

#playchoices #open heart #rafael aveiro #mc x rafael aveiro

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eldritchsurveys · 7 months ago

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1200.

Are you an only child? >> I was raised like one, since my half-siblings were all decades older than me.

When was the last time you were sick? >> Monday-Tuesday. Fascinating how I've already been sick twice this year, when usually I am sick no times a year.

Do you like the color pink? >> I love the colour pink.

Do you take vitamins? >> I do not.

Where was your last kiss? .

Did/do you like high school? >> I enjoyed almost nothing about high school. What are you wearing? >> Black undershirt, Stitch lounge pants.

What health problems run in your family? .

How old will you be in 5 years? >> 41. Where did you last go on vacation? >> Vacations are not a thing for my household, we're in a low income bracket. The last time we went somewhere for a little trip, though, was in April -- Indianapolis, for the Dethklok show. Almost all of that was funded by Sparrow's mother, as usual.

Ever have an eating disorder? >> No.

What sports do you play? . What quality is most important in a person? .

Who’s your bf/gf? . What’s your favorite Ben and Jerry’s ice cream? . Do you usually wear your hair up or down? .

What TV show do you watch the most? >> I'm always watching several TV shows at a time, but I don't know how to quantify which one I am watching "the most".

Do you have a cat? >> I don’t. Sparrow does.

Do you like polka dots? >> I do not.

Have you ever been to Paris? >> I have not.

How do you feel lately? >> Hungry. Deeply, maddeningly hungry. One day I'll be able to actually eat food again...

Have you ever had surgery? >> I have not. Like any reality shows? >> I am not currently watching any, but there are some I enjoy.

What color do you dye your hair? .

What are you best at? .

What are you worst at? .

Do you like men in suits? >> I like some suits. As long as they're not American fit, basically -- I hate that boxy look.

What’s your favorite season? >> It's summer when I live in a colder region (like here) and spring otherwise, I suppose.

Did you drink last New Year’s? >> I did not. I don't do anything on New Year's anymore, I just go to bed like normal.

Did you like The Passion of the Christ? >> I have not seen it.

Which of the seven deadly sins fits you the best? >> Pride, I suppose. What do people compliment you the most on? .

Is your house two stories? >> It is. We occupy the ground floor.

Do you like Carlos Mencia? >> Haven't heard that name in ages. Am not interested in revisiting his work, though.

What word or phrase annoys you the most? >> For some reason I have a strong aversion to the word "wholesome". I just hate everything about it.

Did it rain today? >> It did not.

What did you eat for lunch? >> I didn't eat lunch because I can barely eat anything at all. I just had a bunch of crackers throughout the day. Oh, and an applesauce pouch and some unadorned toast, you know... for variety... *mimes shooting myself* Do you go hunting? >> I do not.

Have you ever wanted to be a ballerina? >> I have not.

Are you in a band? >> I am not. Where did you last have sex? >> Inworld.

Did you ever want to be an astronaut? >> I did want this, once. The only reason I stopped wanting it is because space travel in its current state is wildly inaccessible to me no matter which way you cut it.

Who was the last person to ‘give you butterflies?’ .

What book are you currently reading? >> A Kiss of Shadows by Laurell K. Hamilton. <3

What’s the last party you attended? >> A child's birthday party. Do you wear a lot of black? >> I do. Not as much as we used to, but still a majority amount.

Do you have your own computer? >> I have two, in fact. It astounds me too. Have you ever had fake nails? >> I have, and I don't favour it. What’s the last movie you saw in theaters? >> Whoof... The Blackening, almost a whole ass year ago. I'm really hoping to get to see Furiosa, because this streak has got to end.

What movie do you want to see? >> Furiosa.

Are you trick or treating this year? >> I have never done this.

What month were you born in? >> May.

Whats your birthstone? >> Emerald. I think.

Do you like where you live? >> Not especially. If I think about where I live for too long I start to feel like I'm falling into an abyss.

Where do you work? >> I don’t. If you could kill someone, how would you do it? >> I'm inclined towards intimate, visceral methods. Stabbing is so intensely euphemistic that I think that's probably the method I'd favour most. But there are some really inventive ways to kill people, I wouldn't want to limit myself.

Are women complicated? >> Everyone's complicated, bitch, let's get you some fruit.

Do you put the lid back on the toothpaste? >> I do. I didn't even realise anyone doesn't. How long have you known your best friend? .

What’s something people criticize you the most for? .

Do you get along better with your mom or dad? . Do you read classic literature? >> I'm sure some of the books I've enjoyed could be considered "classics".

Could you be a hermit? >> I don't think so. The way society and the economy is structured constantly makes me feel like I don't have a place in it and that I should live apart from it, sure, but unfortunately I would die if I had to live completely on my own.

Are you religious? >> I am. Not quite in the way that people mean when they ask this, but I am.

Why did your last relationship end? . Who do you trust the most? >> Can Calah.

What site do you visit the most? >> This week, it's been YouTube. I've watched so many YouTube videos just because I haven't had the energy to do much else.

Do you have a Deviant Art account? >> I have three of them. Two of them are defunct (I probably couldn't even get back into them if I tried), and the most recent one is just so I can look at Mature Content or whatever. I don't post on it or anything. Have you read Death Note? >> Way, way back in the day.

Do you have a blacklight? >> I do not. How old where you when you lost your virginity? . How often do you wash your sheets? >> Every other week.

Do anything productive today? >> I tried out a different food other than fucking crackers (cornflakes, with a small amount of almond milk), I played some Grim Dawn (god, Elite difficulty is kicking my ass... where the fuck are the gear drops that I can actually use? spare a gear drop plz?), I watched a movie (Scream, finally, and it actually is as good as everyone says it is, surprisingly), and I watched some YouTube including finding and starting a new LP (Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories). I also put my clean laundry away. Is Uma Thurman’s face annoying? >> That's... so specific. what did Uma Thurman's face do to you

How are your grades? .

Most tedious/annoying class? .

Did you skip class today? . Who do you love? .

Would you move anywhere for someone you love? .

Are spiders scary? >> Not as a rule. But there are definitely some spiders out there that I wouldn't want to meet in a dark alley.

Cheetos. Poofy or regular? .

What color are your eyes? >> Dark brown. What shampoo do you use? >> Cantu brand, usually the guava ginger variety.

How old are you? >> 36, for 72 more hours. Whats your favorite music genre? >> I suppose that's metal, since that's what I seem to get the most consistent joy out of listening to.

What’s a total deal breaker in a potential bf/gf? .

You’re at Starbucks. What do you order? >> I'd rather go to a local place if I'm in the position to buy a coffee drink.

Wendy’s or McDonald’s? >> I haven't had Wendy's in ages. McDonald's on the other hand surprised me last weekend with their blatant Popeye's dupe. It was actually edible.

#there are 1200 surveys on this blog? god damn #surveys #survey #random survey

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rinkrats · 4 years ago

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🥺 that mike lange story. But also those tags #sid loooves christmas #he loves giving presents #looks good in red #piles on the pounds fast #post hockey career as santa 😂😂👌🏽👌🏽

he loves his mementos and presents and is COMMITTED to them. scrapbooking. matching jackets. little pills with hidden motivational messages~*~ his love language is gifts and neck smooches and stalking geno. relevant right now are some anecdotes i sent a friend earlier this year for dorky sid gifts fic fodder:

1. Crosby's constant thoughtfulness would be impressive from anyone, much less someone of his stature.

"Sid always texts me happy birthday, he's always asking me like, how's Russia?" Evgeni Malkin said. "We talk and message all summer. He asks me how my skates are. He knows, like, everything. He follows my Instagram, I think (laughs)."

In addition to having a handle on those little details, Crosby is constantly providing those around him with memories and mementos. If the team is on the road and goes, say, sightseeing or to a sporting event and takes a group photo, Crosby will later send a framed copy to everyone.

When Ron Hextall and Brian Burke watched their first Penguins game in person, Crosby is the one who approached head equipment manager Dana Heinze and asked for two used game pucks to give to the new GM and president of hockey ops.

After the Penguins won in 2009, Crosby had jackets made for the three players on the team who had scored a Cup-clinching goal in Game 7: Talbot (Pittsburgh), Ruslan Fedotenko (Tampa Bay) and Mike Rupp (New Jersey).

"They were blue jackets with gold buttons, and each one had a patch on it that said 'GWG Game 7,'" Talbot said. "At one of our first team meals the next season, he presented us with the jackets and did a big ceremony with the music and stuff. We had a private room in the restaurant. I still have the jacket."

-The Consummate Teammate, Captain and Ambassador, Feb 2021

2. Merz: My first interaction with Sid was when we were on the bench, guys were talking about a teammate, and the first thing this 15-year-old says is, “Hey, guys. Let’s keep everything positive. Don’t talk about your teammates that way.”

Salcido: When we were getting ready for nationals, he found these little pills that you could put a hidden message inside. They unscrewed, and inside was a tiny scroll. He gave one to every teammate. … He had everyone fill one out. He didn’t tell anyone what to write, but he made it known that we all knew what the goal was: winning nationals. So we wrote on our scrolls, rolled them up and put them in the pill thing. We kept them with us everywhere we went.

-‘Is this real?’: Stories of Sidney Crosby’s year at a Minnesota prep school, May 2020

3. On “Butterfly Boy” Jonathan Pitre:

Though the Senators are his team, Sidney Crosby has always been Jonny’s favourite player. After the TSN documentary airs, Tina gets a call from the Penguins. Sid needs Jonny’s measurements. He wants to have a suit made for him by his personal tailor, Domenico Vacca.

“It’s the kindest, sweetest gesture,” Tina says. “Sid heard that Jonny went to a lot of games, so he wants him to look like he’s one of the guys.”

“I want him to feel like a pro,” Crosby says. “Here’s a guy who is going through something so painful, and his first thought is always, ‘How can I help others?’ When I was young, I’d watch on TV the players coming to the rink in their suits. That was a cool part of being an NHL player. I want him to feel that, to make it as real as possible for him.”

Tina tries to discreetly measure Jonny while she’s changing his dressings. But he’s way too smart for that.

“Um, Mom, why are you measuring me? Am I going for surgery again?” he asks.

“No, no!” Tina replies, trying to reassure him and come up with a good lie, all in the same breath. “The doctor needs them just to make sure they have proper dressings next time you are in.”

A few weeks later, the sharp navy blue suit shows up at their front door, along with a couple of ties, an autographed stick and a handwritten letter from Sid.

“His eyes just light up,” Tina says. “Jonny always liked to be well-dressed, and he just loves having his own suit. It fits perfectly. He looks so good in it.”

-Beauties by James Duthie (2020)

4. Pascal Dupuis inspired his Pittsburgh Penguins teammates on their run to the Stanley Cup, and Sidney Crosby found a special way of driving that message home.

Dupuis retired in December with lingering health concerns because of blood clots. Despite his NHL playing days coming to an end, the veteran forward remained an integral part of the Penguins and was in uniform to hoist the Cup after Pittsburgh's six-game win against the San Jose Sharks in the Stanley Cup Final.

On Sunday, Dupuis brought the Cup home one last time as a player to share a special day with his family, friends and hometown fans.

"Yes, it does feel bittersweet a little bit," Dupuis said. "You get the Cup, you want to celebrate. But at the same time I got a gift by the mail [Saturday]. Basically, it's a book of all the pictures of all the good stuff we went through. It came from Nova Scotia, so you guys can figure out who it came from (Crosby), but he couldn't give it to me during the season, he saw me skating a little bit.

"And he sent it [Saturday], before my day with the Cup, so he knew what he was doing to get me right here," Dupuis said, putting his fist over his heart.

-Pascal Dupuis shares Stanley Cup with family, friends, Aug 2016

5. In 2011, Crosby was out of the lineup with a concussion, and the Penguins made their annual visit to Children’s Hospital.

Crosby got along so well with one boy there and was so touched that he later asked Bullano to go back... just the two of them, no cameras, no attention.

When Bullano and Crosby met for the follow-up visit, Crosby appeared clutching a pair of Toys “R” Us bags, filled with a Transformer toy the two had discussed.

“He literally bought every type of this toy they make,” Bullano said. “[Crosby] had never seen it before and thought it was so cool.

“There are no pictures of this. There’s no video. He was laying in the bed with the kid. They were just playing. We were there for over two hours. I got to know the mom really well because we were just sitting there.

“The kid had no idea. Didn’t expect it. They had no idea he was coming. We got there and he said, ‘Hey buddy. hope you don’t mind that I came back.’ The kid couldn’t believe it.

“[Crosby’s] crazy cool about stuff like that.”

What’s crazy is trying to recount the many times stuff like this has happened with Crosby:

• The Little Penguins Learn to Play program has been around for nine seasons, outfitting now 1,200 kids with free head-to-toe hockey equipment. Not only does Crosby serve as the face of the program — which the NHL has now adopted — but he helps fund it, too.

“There’s an awareness of what a person in his position can bring,” Penguins vice president of communications Tom McMillan said. “I think he activates that as much as anybody I’ve seen during his playing career.”

• After a recent practice, Crosby noticed a local family in the Penguins dressing room, approached them, introduced himself, learned their story and wound up giving them a signed stick.

Nobody asked Crosby to do that, and he wanted zero credit when discussing it a couple days later.

“For people who have the opportunity to come in here, people dealing with certain things, if you can brighten their day a bit or spend some time with them, it’s something that’s special for all of us,” Crosby said.

• A few years ago, through a team charity event, Crosby befriended a 4-year-old Amish boy with cancer. Crosby remarked to Bullano how much he loved talking to the boy because of how engaging the boy was and how he wasn’t consumed with technology. Crosby even tried to visit the boy but learned he had passed away.

• He learns the first and last names of the kids who attend his hockey school in Cole Harbour, Nova Scotia.

“Two kids came from Japan its first year,” Bullano recalled. “He was so blown away by that. He couldn’t wait to meet them.”

• Earlier this season, the Penguins welcomed Grant Chupinka, 24-year-old cancer patient, into the dressing room. Crosby chatted up Grant and his parents, Steve and Kim.

He spent his usual time — about two or three times the requirement. Gave the tour. Then found out the Chupinkas didn’t have tickets for that night’s game and decided he would pay for them to go.

“I’m sure he could just give them an autographed puck or something, but he takes his time to go out and see them and talk to them and get to know them,” Brian Dumoulin said. “It speaks volumes for him and who he is as a person.”

Spend any length of time with Crosby during his visits with those less fortunate, and a few things become obvious.

One, Crosby is really good at these. Smooth but not in a slimy way. Sweet. You know how when you’re around someone talking and they go out of their way to make eye contact with everyone around? That’s Crosby.

He’s also humble, always introducing himself like those he’s meeting don’t already know. Holding a hand is no issue. And Crosby is the rare 20-something pro athlete without kids who acts every bit like he does.

“It is not an easy situation to talk to someone with terminal cancer,” McMillan said. “A lot of people couldn’t do that. He has an amazing ability to do that and make that person feel good.”

Crosby has welcomed several Make-a-Wish kids and tries, if at all possible, to schedule such events for practice days — to maximize the time he’s able to spend.

He’s developed a special friendship with Patrick McIlvain, a soldier who nearly died when he took a bullet to the head in Afghanistan. McIlvain actually does physical therapy with one of Crosby’s sticks.

A former club hockey player at Cal U, McIlvain comes by every year, and the Penguins don’t even bother to tell Crosby. Either he already knows or immediately stops what he’s doing to come say hello.

“He’s not doing it to leave a legacy,” said Terry Kalna, Penguins vice president of sales and broadcasting. “His numbers leave the legacy. He’s just a down-to-Earth, good guy.”

Before a visit, Crosby has Bullano email him what is essentially a scouting report on who he’s going to meet. He likes to learn about them, their situation and what they’ve been through. As much information as he can ingest. Crosby never just swoops in, shake a hand and leave.

“As much as anyone has ever seen, he accepts the responsibilities of being not just a professional athlete but a star professional athlete,” McMillan said. “He views it as part of the job. Like coming to the morning skate. That’s just what you do.”

Put another way, “he owns those moments,” says Kalna.

Said Bullano, “He’s just a good human being.”

-When it comes to giving, Sidney Crosby does as much as he can, Feb 2017

6. When Crosby received a generous signing bonus on his Reebok deal, he wanted to share it with everyone.

“He gave everyone on the bus gifts,” says Oceanic radio commentator Michel Germain. “Him sharing his bonus with all the people he’d been travelling with for two years, that impresses me greatly. I think the most important thing about Sidney Crosby is his personality and the kind of human being he is. What he exuded. The inner richness he’d already developed.”

-Superstitious and generous, Dec 2006

7. also this simply because it makes me ;w;

Even in defeat — no, especially in defeat — Sidney Crosby proved why he wears the "C" for the Penguins.

After the game, with his heart sinking and his season over, the Penguins’ captain bent over, sank to the ice to pick up the puck, took it to linesman Tony Sericolo and then skated to his team’s handshake line.

I immediately thought of a View from Ice Level I’d written on Crosby making sure a retiring official was sent away from PPG Paints Arena properly. I knew picking up the puck wasn’t for the same reason that was, but I also knew, in some way, it was connected to Crosby’s awareness and respect of the game.

“It was for the Islanders,” Crosby told me after the game, his eyes swollen from a first round exit – by way of a sweep to make it worse. He told me how the winning team always wanted the puck, and it was his way of providing it for the Islanders.

Crosby looked me right in the eye as he told me this, just as he did with every other member of the media to come to him after the loss.

I could tell from those swollen eyes and the way he sat at his stall, by himself with his hands folded as he stared blankly, that Sidney Crosby is much more used to being on the receiving end of a puck when a series ends than he is at retrieving it for the winning team.

That scene. His swollen eyes. Staying in the locker room until most had left – talking to anyone who needed him. Most of all, though, picking up the puck that prompted my question in the first place and making sure the right people got their piece of their own history.

It all adds up to one thing: In victory and in defeat, Crosby respects the game above all else – just as he’s always done.

-Even in defeat, Crosby shines, April 2019

#anyway this was a nice walk down memory lane after the disastrous game rip #sidney crosby #pittsburgh penguins #hockey #text

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pynkhues · 3 years ago

Note

Please recommend some of your fav Rio fics!

Of course, anon! Since you asked for Rio fics, I'm going to guess you meant Rio POV fics? If not, I'm sorry, haha, because that's what I've collated, but I hope you give these a shot regardless! They're all fics I think are pretty great. ;-)

Below a cut, because this got long.

But when he does reappear at the store—she still doesn't hear him coming, she needs to work on that—she's wearing a fuckin' dress, and he's glad she hasn't seen him yet because he can't stop himself from grinning.

Maybe it ain't for him, but given the fact that he doesn't think he's seen her legs since he came back—aside from that one night at the bar when she was definitely feeling herself—it seems like this is an intentional break in the pattern. Either way, he fuckin' loves the idea that she's been dressing up all week, not sure if he's coming but wanting to be ready if he does.

Now Use Both Hands by ms_scarlet / @mego42 6k words. Explicit. Beth x Rio. S3 canon divergence.

Ooooof, this fic causes me physical pain, but I love it a whole lot. Meg really captures Beth and Rio at their most acidic, their most sharp edged, while also managing to balance that with the feelings they desperately don’t want to have. It’s a bit magic, and the fact that she follows this up with another fave, Listening Through the Air Shaft is *chef’s kiss*.

- - - -

When he wakes, he's in a hospital bed, mouth dry as bone and he can taste blood, stale and metallic, on his tongue. The pain in his chest has been dulled by the drugs, but it still lingers, a persistent ache that spikes with every breath.

By all rights, he's a dead man walking.

Ten hours, they had him in surgery. From the look of his chart, he'd flatlined twice, and he can feel the consequences of that, see it in the bruises on his chest, the exhaustion lining the faces of his family. He'd woken to a little hand in his, Pop's cheeks damp with tears, and shit, it'd been close. Too close.

Bury a Friend by @ejunkiet >1k words. Mature. Beth x Rio S3 canon divergence.

Pivoting from 3.01, this fic is a wonderful, quiet character study that looks at Rio in the aftermath of the shooting before he explodes back into Beth’s life. It pulses with emotion and with the promise of catharsis, and it’s just a really special little fic. The Rio voice is terrific too.

- - - -

He finally gets what he needs one day when Elizabeth’s wearing this tight black sweater with a keyhole that shows off just enough to make Rio’s jaw rock. It’s so out of the ordinary, so unlike her ugly li’l sweaters or her surburban mama button-ups, he does a double take, head whippin’ around so fast that she catches it immediately. Then she catches where his gaze lands, where it keeps landin’ through their whole stilted, irritated conversation, and he sees her chest pinken til he can count her freckles. He sucks his lower lip into his mouth, and her lips fall open just the smallest bit, and then she looks up at him.

Eyes locked on each other, Rio takes a step closer. Elizabeth doesn’t back away.

I Will Collect You and Capture You by @foxmagpie 17k words. Explicit. Beth x Rio S3 canon divergence.

I feel like I've recced this fic 1,200 times at this point, haha, but it really is one of my favourite fics in the fandom. It has this sort of grip on you as a reader that almost embodies Beth's grip on Rio in the story, and the way it builds and builds and releases only to build and build again is really delicious, affecting writing.

- - - -

“Com’n her and her lady friends were shakin’”

“Shakin’ about the lemon on the fuckin’ granite, sure.”

They chuckled as the car rolled on, the suburbs slipping away with the sun.

“Think they’ll pay up?”

There was a groan as Rio shifted in his seat, flexing his fingers along the dash.

“Neighborhood like this? Everybody knows someone who knows someone with a trust fund.”

Mick’s lighter flickered, followed by long, rasping inhale. “And a boat.”

Smoke swirled lazily through the open window up into the purple sky.

“And a boat.” Echoed Rio.

Drivin' through the Suburbs by gangfriend / @00gangfriend00 5k words. Teen+. Mick + Rio friendship, Beth x Rio. Canon compliant.

It takes a lot to make me laugh out loud in a fic, but this one does multiple times. It's just insanely fun, and captures Rio and Mick at their most boyish in a way I find utterly charming. It's really, really delightful.

- - - -

She’s got her crimes wrapped up and categorized in folders with labels and post-its. Wrapped up in gift paper with a big blue bow on it. And she’ll probably ask Turner do you want freshly baked cookies or some shit when they go raiding her kitchen.

Rio should really get it under control. Her, get her under control.

She opens the door and slumps onto the front seat, her eyes set angrily on him. Nineteen voicemails and she’s still got things to say: he sees it in the twitch of her hand, the restless, frustrated pattern. Any minute now she’s going to settle on new words to voice her complaints like he’s here to listen. Like he’s got the time— like he cares. Like he’d better.

It’s a Work Thing by isoldewas >1k words. Mature. Beth x Rio. 2.12 canon divergent.

I'm a bit of a sucker for a good canon divergent fic, and this one pivots the car break up in 2.12 in a smutty way that just works unfairly well. It's such a great little fic that really settles well into Rio's headspace during the messiness of s2, and I love it.

- - - -

They settle in their respective places and Rio takes the opportunity to give Elizabeth the same once over that asshole did. Her ass really does look great in those pants and she could fill out any shirt. Her eyes linger over him too, tracing his skin, the bar tattoos peeking out from under his t-shirt that she’s seen a million times but she devours at every opportunity. Then her eyes meet his and she gives him that small, crooked lil’ smile.

He’s not one for religion, but every so often he takes his mom to Spanish mass. All the viejitos and pious Catholic types think he’s a banger but his ma’s still excited to show him off. He sits with her in the pew and when the priest asks for the congregation to give thanks to God, he says a prayer for the riches that have come to him, the health and brilliance of his son, the vitality of the other little ones in his life now, and Elizabeth. And when he thinks of her in those moments, he sees her in his mind’s eye with this exact look on her face.

A Bit of a Stretch by @septiembrre 5k words. Teen+. Beth x Rio. Established relationship.

Beth and Rio do a yoga class together! There’s such a lived-in feel to this fic that it feels impossible not to fall a bit in love with it – their relationship is explored in a way that feels true to who the characters are, while sanding down the edges to create something that feels sweet in the way they usually aren’t in canon. It's a great fic, but more than that, it really just works in a way that's a lot more complicated than it looks, and it’s all the more charming for it.

- - - -

He’s happy to keep kissing her like this. To savour it. Realises she’s undone the last few buttons of his shirt at some point as she shoves it down his shoulders. Doesn’t have a second to think about his ugly scars pressed to her skin. Can just feel her little hot palms snaking up his back and grippin’ him tight. Refusing to let any light between them as they kiss for what feels like hours.

He realises these are the lips he’s been tasting. Searching for in other women when his night’s got too unbearably quiet, hunting for an echo of the thing he really wanted. Comin’ up short every damn time. Sweet and soft and lethal. Unique to her.

It’s longing in a way he’s never felt. This is the taste of it.

As Good as This by @riosnecktattoo 5k words. Explicit. Beth x Rio. 4.05 canon divergence.

Okay, I know I just said how much I loved canon divergence fics, but it bears repeating – I love canon divergence fics, haha. This is such a great alternate take on how the wire scene in 4.05 goes down, and it simmers with tension from the opening line. The way it escalates as Rio navigates this newest betrayal works really well too, and it results in a pretty sexy and surprisingly emotional sequence. Magic!

- - - -

“Do we have a deal?” She asks.

When he turns to look at her she’s smiling, and that’s when he realizes he’s absolutely fucked. He’d just fucked himself out of almost a quarter of a million dollars. He lets his eyes drop down her body, licks his lips and nods.

“I choose the place,” he says and turns on his side to face her. “You owe me half - with interest,” he says and slides a hand into her hair. She’s damp, the sweat slowly cooling.

“That’s not what - “ she opens her mouth to protest and he takes that opportunity to slide his mouth across hers and lick into her mouth.

Long Nights by zetuslapetus / @querenaxx 2k words. Explicit. Beth x Rio. S3 canon divergence.

Rio and Beth bone while negotiating a deal! What's not to love, haha. This has such a fun checks and balances feel to it which just makes me want to peel my skin off, it's so good. It's exactly the way I like my Beth and Rio - hot and snarky and constantly trying to get a leg over the other, literally and figuratively. It's the best.

- - - -

He should go out and find someone to fuck. Maybe text one of his hookups. See if Jen’s working. He has options.

He knows what he should do.

But it turns out fucking other people is a worse hell than the one they create when they’re together.

And now that he’s yielded to this wicked ecstasy, he knows he’ll do anything to keep sitting in the fire with her.

To Sit in Hell with You by @daydreamstew 2k words. Beth x Rio. Explicit. s4 canon divergence.

Canon-divergent from 4.06 – Beth and Rio keep hooking up after the time at his grandma’s place. It’s fun and sexy while also keeping the complicated push-pull and lack of communication at the heart of them. Deeelightful.

- - - -

“Does it make it easier?” Maddie asks him once they’re spent, maybe emboldened because he has already brought her into their bed. Which may be unfair, because Lee had been in their bed from the beginning.

“What?” He seems lost in his thoughts, his arm behind his head. In a few minutes he’ll get up and get ready to get back to the factory. Like always, she’ll be looking for her keys so she won’t be late for work.

“Getting it out of your system before you see her.”

Rio glances at her. “I don’t always see you when I see her.”

It’s so rare for him to explicitly mention this woman, however tenuously, and Maddie waits for more. Rio’s gotten like this about a few women in his life but it doesn’t happen often.

Sure am Using You by aniara 2k words. Explicit. Rio x OC, Rio x Beth.

It's not for everyone, but I absolutely love fics that feature characters with other people in ways that tell you something about the characters' feelings about somebody else. In this fic, Rio's fucking one of his childhood friends, but it's all about Beth really, and the way both Rio and the OC negotiate that is really compelling writing, and feels so in character for Rio. I really love it.

- - - -

Rio dreams of her that night, again. It’s irritatingly pedestrian – Elizabeth’s kissing him deep and then, ah, suddenly his gun’s in her hand and she shoots him, with a double encore. It’s always variations on the same futile theme. When he wakes it’s not that he’s freaked, unaware of reality or his whereabouts. But he’s been soaked in anger for so long. He can’t think straight, not on her. It’s honestly terrifying. Cos stubbornly keeping his head on right is – that’s him. Maybe her entire raison d’etre is destroying every single one of his attributes though.

He ain’t sure if his subconscious is desperately screaming that he’s made the wrong move, letting her live. Or if it’s the total opposite. Could be fucking neither. It’s not – it’s not getting any easier. And that main reason for not biting the bullet, that he’d be mad as hell for being mad as hell at himself over killing her, it's not smelling any less idiotic.

Climbing up the Walls by s_t_c_s / @sothischickshe 8k words. Explicit. Beth x Rio. S3 canon divergence.

Another canon divergence from 2.13 and an interpretation of how s3 could've gone, and another one I really love. There's a throughline of chaotic frustration to this fic that rings true to Rio's character for me, and the way that that reverberates through his moments not just with Beth, but alone and with other women, feels really textured and interesting and real. It's pretty great.

#this was fun to put together #so many good fiicccss #truly a blessed fandom #beth x rio #beth boland #rio #nbc good girls #gg fic #fic recs #welcome to my ama

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remakethestars · 4 years ago

Text

CABIN 7 — APOLLO

Headcanons.

❝There ought to be more drama, I think. A musical crescendo. Confetti.❞

— Jess Cooper, I Am Still Alive

Headcanon masterlist.

Oh, boy — this is my cabin, y'all; buckle up! 😁

Not all Apollo kids are good at everything their dad's good at, okay? I sure as heck can’t paint or play an instrument.

TRIGGER WARNING: mentions of violence?

They run an underground tattoo parlor.

That's where Will & Butch got their respective sun & rainbow tats.

Apollo kids with lyrics tattooed into their skin.

Rick says there isn't much by way of décor inside, which is f*in' B.S. Apollo's the god of art; those walls have been graffitied Tangled style.

🎶 i'll paint the walls some more — i'm sure there's room somewhere! 🎶

The east wall is covered in a landscape of a sunrise, & the west has a sunset (because the sun rises in the east & sets in the — yeah, I'll see myself out).

The north & south walls & the ceiling are white, though, because it really brightens/opens up the space (C7 has the 2ⁿᵈ most campers under C11 because Apollo's a slut; things can get a little crowded in the summer).

When there’re celebrations, the artistically inclined kids bust out the face paint. Especially for the younger campers.

The artistically inclined are the ones that paint the camp beads for the end of the summer. Despite the numbers, it doesn’t take them as long as one might think.

Rick said the ceiling had cedar beams, but we're not gonna do Cyparissius dirty like that. Cypress wood is good for building; the beams are cypress. You know what? F*ck you — the whole dang cabin's cypress!

There’s a massive, potted aloe vera plant by the steps that gets moved into the C4 greenhouse in the winter. It’s one of those old ones — because everyone knows the old aloe plants work better for burns & blisters than these sh¡tty new ones. (It’s constantly getting broken off to heal burns & stuff.)

Rick said there are potted red & purple hyacinths in the window & yellow flowers from Delos. That's true.

I'd say the flowerbeds around the cabin are full of healing plants, but I feel like they'd be better off around the infirmary for obvious reasons.

I do feel like there's a laurel tree planted outside C7, though, because Apollo's a pining b¡tch.

And there's an actual infirmary building, okay? Rick's kinda inconsistent about that. Sometimes he says "infirmary," sometimes he says the Big House is running over with injured, & apparently there's a cot dead center for injured in C7? B.S.

Or maybe I've just read too much fanfic, and the authors don't get it right?

Either way, there's an infirmary building with surgery & delivery rooms. One floor. Locker room for C7 kids to store their scrubs & sh¡t.

They go for yellow scrubs, though, because orange C.H.B. scrubs make them look like escaped convicts.

Fun Band-Aids™

They give out little orange stickers with laurels around the edges that are like I voted! stickers, but they're injury-specific.

I got my leg(s) reattached! & Percy Jackson shot me in the butt! & I ticked off Clarisse! & I made out with an Aphrodite kid in the poison ivy! & I fell off the lava wall! & I got pranked by the Stolls!

After a war or just when there’re a lot of campers in the infirmary, there seems to be a constant flow of Apollo kids singing one hymn to their father in unison to heal someone.

Sometimes, an unconscious camper wakes in a cot & thinks they’ve died & gone to the wrong afterlife for a moment because their singing sounds like angels.

The medically inclined wash their hands like surgeons.

Kind of germophobic?

They also go around tying surgeons knots in everything.

In the summer, they’re walking Banana Boat sunscreen & after-sun aloe lotion dispensers.

The medically inclined also have the world’s sh¡ttiest handwriting.

They have to work hard to fix it if it bothers them.

Can check your vitals & run a blood test just by touching you.

A lot of them casually touch their loved ones (at least, the ones that aren’t in C7) every morning to check their vitals & see how their health’s doing.

They do it subconsciously every time they touch someone & don’t notice it until they pick up something’s wrong.

They can do this for themselves as well. Though it may not be as accurate? And they take daily vitamins depending on what they need.

Organize their lives via pill box (never lose an earring).

Fight surgically. Every blade in their hands becomes a scalpel, & every time they’re going in for a kill against an armed anthropomorphic monster, they slice the tendons in its arm required to grip its weapon to disable it before going in for the kill.

Back to C7, it’s got a little porch with a porch swing. The kids sit on it sometimes & teach people how to play instruments.

They leave the porch light on at night when they’re waiting for one of their siblings to come home from a quest.

Jumping into the depressing sh¡t, they never found Michael’s body, so they only presumed him dead. They leave the porch light on every night now, hoping he’ll come home.

Apollo kids are afraid of the dark. They use the buddy system after the sun goes down.

The cabin’s central light fixture is a papier-mâché sun that’s been charmed to glow when someone sings 🎶 clap on 🎶 & stop glowing when someone sings 🎶 clap off. 🎶

The curtains are a gold fabric. They’re only closed at night. Because, again, C7 kids are afraid of the dark.

The Wikipedia says Apollo kids are cursed to be afraid of snakes (I assume by the Python Apollo killed). I feel like they’d burn a lot of aster leaves then. I read somewhere it was said by the Greeks to ward off evil spirits & snakes.

They play Go Fish with their tarot cards. They’re really good at tarot games.

Hand-drawn tarot decks featuring figures form Greek myth.

There’s a target on the back wall they practice throwing cards at. They can throw them in combat for a distraction with terrifying accuracy.

There’s a Magic 8 ball that’s passed around on the Winter Solstice (the longest night of the year), when — as a headcanon I’m sure I’ve read somewhere has indicated — they’re up all night.

Crystal balls are allowed. However, they must be covered with a cloth or placed in a box when not in use because they’re double-convex lenses, & we don’t want another incident like the fire of 1993.

Sometimes, they make little predictions throughout the day other campers may find disturbing. Such as whipping around and catching a stray arrow without warning (spidey sense?). Or cutting you off when you’re talking about someone moments before they walk into the room.

There’s a tea cart in the corner. Because tea is good for healing & they’ve accumulated an addiction.

The cart has a radio on it that’s always on at night because a lot of C7 kids can’t sleep without noise. (Inspired by @sugarandspiceandkindanice.)

Most of the time, it’s on a nearby country station that actually plays good country at night. But sometimes they switch channels — especially when there’s a new kid settling in & they could use the comfort.

There’s a portable record player there too. The shelves under the cart are full of C.D.s & records.

I’m sure I’ve read a headcanon somewhere that they sing every morning while getting ready for the day. That’s true.

The number of times it’s been “When Will My Life Begin” from Tangled is disturbing, though.

🎶 seven a.m., the usual morning lineup! 🎶

Luke said in The Lightning Thief C11 is up at 07:00 & breakfast is at 08:00, I think, but we all know Apollo’s waking his kids up when the sun rises.

A lot of the time, someone will just start out with whatever song they have stuck in their head & everyone else will pick it up.

Sometimes, this leads to members having the aforementioned song stuck in their head for the rest of the day.

Even the people who aren’t musically inclined will sing along, as they’re usually drowned out by the music kids that get really into it.

So sometimes those not-music kids will find themselves singing by themselves during the day years later & are surprised to find — they actually sound good?? Or at least not bad??? And it’s because singing is a learned skill & they picked it up.

I’m sure I’ve also read a headcanon somewhere that they sing “Look Down” from Les Mis when they have to do menial chores, but I'm adding “It’s a Hard-Knock Life” from Annie, “Whistle While You Work” from Snow White, “Happy Working Song” from Enchanted, & the Smurf song.

They break into song all the time.

Lee was glaring at Tantalus once & made the mistake of saying, “Sometimes, I wish —” and the entire cabin broke out with “Bohemian Rhapsody.”

🎶 — i'd never been born at all! carry on, carry on… 🎶

As mentioned in at least The Lightning Thief & The Lost Hero, they spend a lot of time playing basketball. You can bet your butt they do a rendition of “Getcha Head in the Game” from High School Musical every time there’s a new camper passing by.

They have a sister named Jubilee, and every time someone greets her — "Hey, Jube!" — the entire cabin breaks into “Hey, Jude” by The Beetles.

🎶 hey, Jube! don't make it bad. take a sad song & make it better… 🎶

Sometimes, if there are two campers that really need to get together, C10′ll commission C7 to sing “Kiss the Girl” from The Little Mermaid (or the same song with different pronouns, obviously).

It’s usually a capella unless someone happens to have an instrument on them.

Rickrolling.

The “Macarena.”

Apollo takes clandestine recordings of their jam sessions & distributes them professionally. Whatever money’s made goes directly into their college funds or they periodically find it under their pillow tooth-fairy-style.

There’s a lot of denim because the artistic members like to paint on the backs of jackets & the pockets of jeans.

A lot of them have excellent aim with most projectiles, so they toss stuff to each other a lot. This results in them being oddly in sync, so they can catch something from another sibling without warning & without looking like Sam & Dean Winchester do in Supernatural.

Their life looks like a Dude Perfect trick shot video.

It also results in some funny looks when they hurl things halfway across camp to each other. Namely, the whistling Nerf football.

C7 is two stories. The second story has paint on every wall.

The east wall upstairs has arrows mounted that got Robin Hooded along with a little tag with the name of the C7 kid & the date it happened.

They also have arrows mounted from the first bullseye if there’s a member being taught.

Lots of musical instruments & art supplies up there.

There’s an old T.V. up there. They have all of Bob Ross’s show on V.H.S.

C7′s south wall (ground floor) holds the door to the bathroom on one side & a door leading to the stairs.

It also hosts framed photos of Charlotte, Lee, & Michael.

Instead of saying “shoot,” they say “loose.” For everything. Instead of saying “Shoot!” when they drop something, they say “Loose!”

It's kinda one of those things — like your friend starts saying something & you just integrate it into your vocabulary subconsciously.

They like to play a game where you shoot an arrow straight up & try to catch it as it comes back down.

That sounds really stupid on their part, but it actually comes in handy when someone tries to shoot them in combat & they catch the arrow, dumbfounding whoever's attempted to skewer them.

The cresting on their arrows is in Morse code of their nickname (·—— ·· ·—·· ·—··). They can take one look at an arrow & tell what’s whose.

And the paint color of the cresting tells them what kind of arrow it is — bullet tip, broadhead, explosive, etc.

Every bunk in C7 is made with hospital corners. No exceptions. The kids who aren’t medically inclined learn because all the beds being made the same way makes it look cleaner for inspection.

I can’t decide if Apollo kids have really good eyesight so they fit the Hawkeye bill or if they’ve all just read — Apollo’s the god of knowledge — & painted so much they’ve messed up their eyes.

The number of times one of them has used bowstring wax on an art project in a rush instead of glue is hilariously large.

I use String Snot, and it comes in a container that looks like a glue stick.

A lot of them wear bracers all the time.

When the time it takes to sling one’s quiver onto one’s back, grab one’s bow, knock an arrow, & draw is so long, one really doesn’t have time to also strap on their bracers before rushing out of the cabin to threaten a giant bronze dragon.

Not to mention if they use a recurve, they’ll also have to string their bow.

And a number of them do use recurves due to the abilities to both knock multiple arrows at once & to restring in the field.

Bows with risers coated in golden, reflective paint & limbs painted with artistic strokes.

Trick arrows are their jam. C9 is constantly being asked for new arrows.

Explosive arrows, sonic arrows, grappling hook arrows…

That’s another saying they’ve all taken to: “___ is my jam!”

There’s a bookshelf or reference material on Apollo for new C7 kids (as Rick’s indicated), but the rest of the case is full of medical journals & textbooks & books on art & poetry & divining the future.

A lot — if not all — of them have either gold flecks in their eyes or central heterochromia.

Freckles across their noses & shoulders & on the tips of their ears. Tans. Sun-bleached hair.

Long, nimble fingers perfect for playing musical instruments.

Either they hate the winter because the sun's out for less time (so you’ll find them walking around with blanched skin & faded freckles & with both a hoody & a parka on), or they’re perfectly fine with winter & are used by everyone around them as walking space heaters.

They spend a lot of time with Castor & Pollux.

Rachel sits at T7. She’s practically an Apollo kid at this point.

While her cave was being renovated, she stayed in C7.

Their dad’s the god of truth; none of these M.F.s can lie worth a sh¡t.

But, by the gods, they can tell when you’re lying.

And they take it as a personal insult. That you (A) would dare do something as immoral as lying in the first place & that you (B) would dare to insult their intelligence in such a way because you thought they couldn’t tell.

C6 & C7 are both known for reacting outrageously when their intelligence is insulted (see: chapter 10 of The Battle of the Labyrinth).

The more civil of the reactions of a C7 kid being lied to is cursing the liar to tell the truth, which I believe they can.

They can curse you to speak in rhyming couplets; they should be able to curse you to tell the truth.

You mean to tell me none of these kids have created a functioning Lasso of Truth yet?

This one's really long. 😅

A lot of people fancast Sam Claflin as Apollo, but I'm going with Ross Lynch. 'Cause I do what I want. 😎

Visit my Apollo cabin Pinterest board or my headcanon masterlist.

DISCLAIMER ━━━ These headcanons are what I consider to be canon in my fanfictions. They may be others’s headcanons I’ve subconsciously filed away in my noggin. If one’s yours and you want it removed or credited, please send me your post and let me know.

#Apollo #Apollo kids #children of Apollo #Apollo cabin #headcanons #headcannons #Percy Jackson #PJO #HOO #TOA #remakethestars #art #archery #painting #healing #doctors #sun #hcs #TW: mentions of violence

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tomtenadia · 4 years ago

Text

A Little Braver - Chapter 4

So, chapter 4 is finally here.

It has a few funny moments but it also has angst.

This fic has so much more angst that i originally planned.

Anyway... enjoy it.

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The drive to the hospital did not take long but once inside they noticed the waiting room was swamped.

“Whitethorn, this is pointless,” she said when he placed her on an empty chair “we’ll be here for hours.”

“I don’t care, we are getting that knee checked.” His tone did not admit any protest from her.

Aelin grunted “I hate you.”

“Is that news? Tell me something I don’t know.” Rowan took a seat on the empty seat beside her then took her injured leg and lifted it on his lap. Aelin winced.

It was three hours later when Rowan started to loose his patience “that woman came after us and she went in already.” He protested a bit too loudly for Aelin’s taste. Why was he caring about her wellbeing all of a sudden?

“Maybe she is worse than a busted knee.” She shrugged but he glared at her.

“She walked into the A&E on her own two feet. You just dealt with that damn inferno with that busted knee.” He protested and the hint of pride in his voice moved something inside her.

“I don’t need the red carpet.”

“Some fucking attention for people who bust their asses to save other people lives would be appreciated.” His tone got a bit louder still. Rowan did not seem the type to cause a scene but he seemed a bit too annoyed and to be honest she did not know much about the guy. She just hoped his military training would kick in and restrain himself.

“Doctor save lives too.”

He grunted and stood and Aelin braced for the worst. She saw him walk with purpose to the reception desk with perfect military stride. She would have laughed if it wasn’t that she was scared of what he would do.

She saw him talk to one of the nurses behind the nurses station. A few times his arm pointed at her and she made herself small and invisible.

Then she went back spying on him and studied his posture and gasped. The man was flirting with the nurse. Stick up in the arse captain was flirting with the nurse to get her in early. She was dumbfounded. She could not believe that he had it in him.

He came back five minutes later with a smug face “Someone will come for you soon.”

Aelin’s mouth fell open “Did you just flirt with the nurse to have me seen earlier?”

“I did not such thing,” and he looked away, scanning the waiting room.

“She is looking over here. I think she is interested in you and is now wondering how it would feel to bag an airforce captain.”

Rowan huffed “not interested.”

“She is pretty.”

“Not my type…”

“Oh come on grampa, she could even play sexy nurse with you.”

Rowan rolled his eyes “you really are a menace.”

She was about to add a snarky remark when a doctor stopped in front of them “Aelin Galathynius?”

Aelin’s head snapped up “I am here.”

“I am doctor Yrene Westfall. Follow me.”

Westfall? Was she Chaol’s wife?

“Did you say Westfall? Is Chaol your husband?”

“Yes. Do you know him?”

Aelin nodded “I am a firefighter, we work a lot with the police. He was at the embankment fire tonight.”

“He told me, apparently it was hell. His own words.”

“It was bad.” Aelin stood and swore as sharp pain shoot from her knee up her leg.

“Why did you do that?” Rowan protested and lifted her again in his arms.

“You are making the nurse jealous.”

“Shut up and let’s follow the nice doctor.”

“Put her down here,” Yrene pointed at an empty bed.

Rowan placed her gently on the bed and stepped at the bottom of it. His hands behind his back.

Yrene lifted the leg of her trousers and had a look at her knee “This look quite bad, why did you wait this long to come to the hospital?”

“I was going to… but then city emergency and all and it slipped my mind.”

Rowan snorted and Aelin glared at him.

“And you walked all day on it?”

“Kinda…”

“You might have made things much worse.”

Aelin leaned back on the pillow and sighed. She knew and with the performance review on its way it had been very stupid of her.

“How did it happen?”

“We were in the middle of a drill this morning. The explosion happened, the shockwave made me loose my balance and I fell down the ladder face first and my left knee took the impact.”

“You might have broken your kneecap. I need to send you for an x-ray and see what is the situation.” She went away and came back five minutes later “Someone will come and get you soon. You captain, can wait here until she is back.”

Rowan nodded and pinched her big toe when he noticed her worried expression “Do you want me to come in and hold your hand?”

“Screw you, Whitethorn.”

He pinched the toe again and his lip quirked up in a tight attempt at a smile.

Aelin wondered if she’ll ever see him smile or even laugh.

The porter came and rolled her bed away. She snatched a last look at Rowan and saw him standing where her bed had been I’ll be here. She saw him mouth to her.

Rowan began pacing back and forth in a very nervous state. His phone pinged and saw a text from Lorcan asking for an update on behalf of her squad. He texted back saying she was getting an x-ray.

He sat down on the chair near where the bed was and took out his phone to scroll through the news of the fire at the warehouses. In one of the articles he saw a great picture of her. She was staring at the inferno in front of her and with her hand she was pointing at something, maybe giving an order. He saved the picture on his phone then went on reading the article flushing with pride at how the journalist had praised her for handling such an emergency with professionalism and doing a great jobs at keeping the victims to a very low level. Turned out they only had lost two workers. Considering what he had seen he was impressed because it could have been far, far worse. He read a few more articles and almost seethed with rage when a journalist had the courage to criticise the TFD for having a young girl in charge of such an emergency.

It was an hour later when Aelin and Yrene came back. Aelin’s face told him that the news was bad.

“Her kneecap is badly fractured. She will need surgery. I have contacted the orthopaedic surgeon to see if he can squeeze her in tomorrow. Then she will have to stay in the hospital for a few days. Once she gets home she can move around with crutches but it might take up to a month before she will be able to do rehab. The whole thing should last around three months if she cooperates.”

Rowan stared at Aelin and he saw her heartbroken expression.

Once Yrene excused herself saying she was going to get her a room, Rowan moved closer to her.

“Don’t. Don’t you even try and say what you are about to say. I do not need your pity.”

He knew that the idea of not being able to participate in the performance review was killing her. Gods he wanted to hug her again like in her office and offer comfort. But that was a skill he had always been bad at.

“Do you need anything?”

“Yes, being less fucking stupid.” She growled through gritted teeth “I knew that explosion was coming. I knew we had fucked up the exercise and let it run longer than meant to. Aedion and I had planned that explosion. I knew it and I still let it knock me off like a blasted newbie.”

She breathed deeply “I am too stupid to be a captain.”

No, he was not having that.

“Now you are talking shite.” He snarled back. He was not having her accusing herself os something like that. He took out his phone and opened the first article he read. The one with the great picture.

“Captain Galathynius has showed nerves of steel while handling a double fire that could have had catastrophic consequences. She masterfully deployed two teams to tackle emergency after emergency without ever backing down from the constant challenge. And when it seemed that the situation was taking a turn for the worst, she pulled a rabbit out of the hat and convinced the stiff necked airforce posh boys to join and help tackle a raging fire, far too big for three fire engines. Captain Galathynius and the two teams deserve more recognition for their incredible job. Far more than a pat on the back.

All the firefighters involved tonight had showed great heroism and excellent skills. Every day these men and women place their lives on the line to keep our city safe. The government should keep it in mind at his next budget review and find in itself to invest in money in services the city deeply deserves like firefighters, the police and the health services instead of flushing it down the drain to fund fancy planes built for destruction.”

“Uh…. He really does not like you guys.”

“I don’t care,” said Rowan quickly “What matters is what she said about you. She doesn’t think you are stupid. And I don’t think it either. This stiff necked posh boy thinks you are amazing.”

“Liar.”

“I am not lying. Why would I? I agree with this woman. You were fucking amazing tonight. All of you. And yes, you deserve far more credit than what you will get.”

His eyes glistened with pride and his words had helped a bit ease her anger.

“So you think I am amazing?”

“I do.” His voice much softer all of a sudden.

Yrene came back in that moment and broke the spell. She had a feeling she and the captain were about to have a moment but the magic had passed.

“I have a room for you.” And she had a wheelchair with her.

Rowan grabbed Aelin again and lifted her into the wheelchair and offered to push her.

“Chaol was my saviour tonight,” she giggled while Rowan rolled the wheelchair along the corridor following the doctor.

“How so?”

“He knows I hate reporters. So as soon as he saw a few coming at me he came and saved me before I could punch them. Plus, he and his men did an outstanding job at crowd control. I know it doesn’t seem like a lot, but when you have people running terrified from a building on fire it can end badly. And they also kept an eye to all the curious monster who come and have a peek and film it to post it social media for a five minutes of glory. Police let us concentrate on the emergency without worrying about what’s happening in the background.”

“Thank you for telling me.” The woman smiled at her.

“Make sure you give him an extra cuddle tonight.”

Both Aelin and Yrene burst out laughing.

“I will reward him accordingly, captain.”

They finally reached the elevator and the three got in. Not long after they were in the room and Rowan lifted her in bed. Yrene left them to get her settled in.

“You need clothes, damn it.” He looked around him as if to find an answer in an hospital room.

“My house keys are at the station.”

“Fine I’ll go and get them and grab some clothes for you from your house. Give me the address.”

“No.”

His face turned confused “why? You can’t stay in your uniform.”

“I am not having you in my house, going through my drawers and my clothes.”

Rowan sighed “tell me where you keep t-shirts and shorts and I will just go straight to that one. I am not a creep I swear.”

“Fine.” She texted him the address “my keys are in the black messenger bag in my locker. There is a small pocket at the front. They are attached to the hook. Actually take the whole bag with you. I have a charger and other stuff in there that I might need.”

“Ok, I’ll be back as soon as possible.”

“Captain?”

“Yes?”

“Thank you.”

He nodded and before leaving he turned once more “you could start calling me Rowan, by the way.”

“Thank you, Rowan.”

He left thinking that his name on her lips was the most beautiful sound ever.

He reached the fire station not long after. He met Ress in the corridor.

“Captain.”

“Ress, isn’t it?”

The man nodded.

“How’s Aelin?

“She will need surgery. She is not happy as you could imagine.”

“Damn.”

A tall man joined them a moment later. His uniform was white.

“This is chief Havilliard.” Said Ress.

So that was the young Havilliard.

“You must be captain Whitethorn.”

Rowan nodded.

“Thank you for your assistance tonight.”

Rowan shook his head “it was Aelin’s idea. The credit goes to her. I just follow orders.”

“How is she by the way?” And Rowan could see concern in the man’s eyes.

“She will need surgery. Her knee is busted pretty badly. They are trying to book her for tomorrow. I am heading to her place to get her some clothes.”

“I will update the squad.” Dorian said “I will also try and beg the board to postpone the review. Aedion will be home tomorrow but he will be off for a week and Aelin looks like she will be out of commission for a while. And I need them to train the team. They are my golden duo.”

Rowan took an immediate liking to the chief.

Once Dorian took his leave, Ress took Rowan to their changing rooms and pointed to Aelin’s locker.

“Tell her that the team is behind her and that she was awesome tonight. Also let us know where she is in the hospital so we can come and visit.”

“Room 252 in the orthopaedic ward.”

“Thank you sir.”

Ress left him. He grabbed Aelin’s bag and his eyes spotted the pictures attached to the door and the walls. He saw some pictures with a man and he had a feeling his face was familiar. The photos portrayed a couple in love and for a very brief instant a very strange emotion he could not decipher set into him and then it quickly went away with the same speed it came.

He ignored it. Slammed the locker shut and left the station.

Fifteen minutes later he reached her house and let himself in. The house was gorgeous and very modern. He stepped into the living room and noticed the wall were painted a light yellow giving the room much more brightness. He smiled at the insane number of bookcases bursting with books. So, she was a book worm. Good, something to talk about if they had a chance to have a conversation that contained less insults and vitriol.

He walked to the door she had indicated and reached her bedroom and froze for a moment. He knew he had her permission but for an instant he felt as if he was invading her privacy.

The room was painted a pastel blue and a huge bed was was in the middle. At one end he noticed the drawer and walked to it and froze when he noticed there were two middle drawers.

Shit, she had said the middle drawer but which one. Damn, he had promised.

He opened the top one and slammed it shut when he saw the content. That was her underwear drawer. He turned and leaned against the piece of furniture. Bras… 38A she had said and now his treacherous brain was picturing the piece of clothing filled by…

“Damn.”

He opened the other one and breathed relieved when he noticed t-shirts and shorts. Good. He grabbed a few of her TFD t-shirts and placed them in the duffel bag at the bottom of her bed.

His phone went off. It was Aelin.

“What?”

“Gee, you sound grumpy.”

“What do you need m’lady?” His voice dripping with fake pleasantness.

“I am giving you permission to open the second drawer from the top and grab me some underwear as well, please.”

“You are kidding me.” Aelin could clearly hear the panic in his voice.

“Ro, I am not. I have an emergency and I will soon need new knickers. So yes, get in that drawer and grab me my underwear.”

His hand ran through his hair in a nervous gesture.

“Also, there is a small convenience store around the corner, could you please buy me tampons?”

Rowan almost choked.

“I am sorry what?”

“You heard me. I assume you had been with other women before. You know we get periods, right?”

“Fine, I will phone you back once I am in the shop. I have no idea what to buy.”

“Just don’t blush too much.”

And he could hear the grin in her voice.

He hung up and breathed deeply and opened the drawer. The selection was… incredible.

He picked a few sports bra thinking that for an hospital stay they would be the better option. Definitely the lacy one were not proper. He rummaged a bit and looked again for something more sober when all of a sudden he found in his hands something that had little or no use as underwear but his treacherous mind painted some very sexy pictures.

Damn, that was torture. He grabbed a nice selection of the sober pieces and closed the drawer from hell in relief. He stuffed everything in the bag and walked out, in desperate need of fresh air.

Next stop he drove to the convenience store and braced himself for the next task. He walked in and sneaked to the correct section feeling like a perv for lingering in a section where he clearly did not belong to. He looked at the boxes and he had no idea that there were so many choices. He phoned her.

“Oh, you are still alive.”

“I am in the shop. Which one do you need?” He almost growled.

“Tampons.” She said matter of factly.

“I am a bloke, Fireheart. I have no idea of what you are talking about.”

He heard her sigh “the ones that looks like bullets.”

“Ok, which type?”

“At the bottom they have guidelines with drops. One with two drops and one with three. Actually make it two each.”

“Does the brand matter?”

“I am not fussed.”

“Okay. I got it.”

“I owe you another one.”

“That’s two now.”

“Fine, fine, Buzzard.”

“What?”

“I’ll tell you later, get your arse back here.”

“So bossy.”

He hang up and had a look at the brands. She had said she was not fussed but he had decided to get her the expensive ones, hoping it meant they were of a better quality as well.

He walked to the counter to pay “For my wife,” he muttered embarrassed, paid and got out quickly.

She owed him big time. Not for the water drop but for this.

When he got back to the hospital he went to her room and dumped the bag on her bed and moved away from her.

“Gee someone is on edge. Did my underwear scare you? The fearless pilot got frightened by lace.”

He scoffed an ignored her.

“Seriously man, never had a girlfriend or a date wearing sexy lingerie for you?”

“Of course.”

“Well, so what’s problem?”

He sat heavily on the chair “I was probably dating the person at the time, which implies other things.” She could still see the embarrassment in his features “you and I are just work partners. It was very weird.”

“Well, at least now you know how big is a 38A.”

The top of his ears turned red. She loved so much to rile him up.

She had look at what he had brought her and was very happy when she noticed he had picked sports bra. He had actually put some thought in it. Then her eyes caught the boxes of tampons “Rowan, these are very expensive.”

“I just thought… you know… better quality, perhaps? More comfortable? I don’t know. Again, I am a bloke.”

She wished she could stand and kiss him. He had been amazing. She never had put Sam through such torture. He would have probably died at the idea of buying her feminine products.

“I am very grateful. For everything.”

He gave her a smile. It never reached his eyes but the effort was there her heart fluttered at the precious little show of emotion.

He stood “I’ll let you change.” He made to walk away but stopped when he noticed her face.

“You need to use the facilities I guess.”

She nodded.

He lifted her in his arms and walked into the bathroom and deposited her on the loo.

“Let me know when you are done.” He left the room and walked to the corridor and sat on a chair. He took his phone and started browsing some old news about firefighters. He was still thinking about the man he saw in the picture in her locker. He had seen that face in the news.

He searched for a while until he found an article about a fireman called Sam Cortland. He opened and began to read. Shit. Sam and Aelin had been an item for five years and according to the article they had been engaged. He had been a captain at west station. He got killed while fighting a fire in a warehouse. Shit. His hands shook. They had in common more than just books. He pocketed the phone and walked back to the room.

“Are you okay?” He called through the door.

“Almost ready.”

He leaned against the wall and tried to calm down. It had been just over a year. Was she okay?

“I am ready.” He shoot off the wall and opened the door of the bathroom and saw her in her TFD t-shirt. He lifted her in his arms and he never would have wanted to let go of her.

“Back to your bed.”

Her arms were around his neck and it felt as if she lingered like that a bit longer on purpose.

Or maybe he had just imagined.

“Do you need painkillers? Something to eat?”

Aelin shook her head “I am officially fasting. My surgery has been scheduled for tomorrow at 9.”

“That’s great.”

“I am a bit nervous.”

He sat down on the bed, just in front of her. Her hands were on her lap. He took her hand by grasping just the tip of the fingers “I can stay with you. I can be here when you wake up, or I can call someone else whose company you enjoy more.”

Aelin squeezed his hand back. She wished she had the strength to tell him that somehow she had enjoyed his company very much in the recent hours. But things were still very weird between them and she was positive he still did not like her.

Then she looked up and saw his eyes staring at her and realised that maybe she was wrong. In those beautiful green eyes of his she had noticed a spark of emotion, albeit for a fleeting moment.

“Keep me company, please.” He nodded and sat back on the chair.

They chatted amicably. She had told her about the station and her friends, then he reported that Lorcan was officially smitten by Elide and the two started making plans to set up the two of them.

At her first yawn, Rowan ordered her to go to bed. He tucked her in and went back to his seat.

When he woke up the next morning it was pretty early. He stood and stretched his back, sore from a night asleep on a chair. Aelin was still asleep so he sneaked out of the room and went in search of the cafeteria for a coffee. Then he had a look at himself in one of the doors and noticed he was still in uniform, now a mess, and a shadow of stubble on his face. His academy CO would have his head for walking around in such horrible state while in uniform. He shrugged, got his coffee and went back to the room. Jotted down a note for Aelin. He needed to go home, take a shower and get fresh clothes. He would be back by the time she returned from surgery.

On his way home he phoned Lorcan to give him an update on his whereabouts. He asked also for a few days off to help Aelin and the man agreed. Rowan snorted. Being in love was doing miracles on the old bastard.

He got home, relaxed, took quite a long shower and eventually he had breakfast and caught up with the news and saw that the big fire was still making the headlines. Then a photo caught his attention. Apparently the community had turned in support of the fire stations. They had flocked in front of the government building protesting in light of the new spending budget. Many of signs called for a cut in military spending and to give due value to corps such as firefighters and police. He realised that he would have probably been there as well if it wasn’t that his presence would guarantee him being kicked out of the force immediately. He had been disgusted when he saw how much the airforce got for the repairs. So much more than asked and then Aelin and the guys had to beg for a second engine. Yes, he was in the airforce but he did not agree with the amount of money that often got thrown at them. He eventually got dressed and headed back to the hospital but once he arrived he spotted a few reporters.

“Bloody leeches.”

He tried to walk unnoticed, but alas, his silver hair was not the most inconspicuous of traits.

One woman blocked his path and flung the microphone at him “Captain, how does it feel to save the day?”

Rowan looked at the woman puzzled. How on earth did they know who he was? He had been on a plane the night of the fire.

“You and your team stopped the fires. Without you, the firefighters would have failed.”

Anger. Fiery anger surged through him in a savage wave.

“I think you have read the news wrong.” He tried to calm down “The real heroes are the firefighters,” he shouted for all the reporters to hear “They are the ones who put their lives in danger. They are the ones who jumped into an inferno saving as many workers as possible.” He looked at all of them “over an hour. They were at it for over an hour, with no break, no one to cover for them or take their place. Captain Galathynius supervised the whole thing while injured and barely being able to stand. And you give all the credit to us?” He roared “We showed up because the captain had the amazing idea of using us. We swooped in at the end of the game, when one of the building was almost off. We just dropped some water and you call us heroes?” His hand were now in tight fists “I flew one of those planes and I do not want glory. I do not deserve glory. East and west station do. The police do.” And he walked away furious. Bastards. He hoped that someone passed the interview live, so his real words would pass on. He did not trust reporters.

He ran upstairs and when he arrived he noticed Aelin in bed and half asleep. He gave her a big smile.

“Hey you, tight-pants.”

He chuckled and sat beside her “how do you feel?”

“My hand moves funny.” She said moving her hand in front of her face and Rowan realised she was still quite drugged up from the surgery.

She was quite funny.

“Your hair is white.”

He brushed his hair with his hand “do you like it?”

She gave him a goofy smile “you are sooooo pretty.”

“Oh thank you. No one has called me pretty in a very long time.” He took her hand in his.

“I have a secret” she said and placed a finger in front of her mouth.

“Can I hear it?”

“Yes. But don’t tell the captain.” Who did she think she was talking to?

“I won’t, I promise.” He played along.

“I think I like him. A lot.”

For a brief instant something flashed in her eyes and Rowan had a feeling she was quite lucid.

He jumped off the bed in terror.

“I like him a lot, but he hates me.”

Sadness. That was definitely sadness in her voice. He took a step back.

She turned her head to the side.

“I really, really do.” And he saw her close her eyes.

He took another step back and walked out of the room. Once outside he ran to the car and leaned against it closing his eyes. Her words kept ringing in his ears. And her voice. It had changed so much when she uttered those words. It was her. She was fully lucid when she said it. He placed a hand on his heart and found it racing. He wanted to go back to her and say that he did not hated her. That he… he had no idea what he felt. He groaned and jumped in the car and decided to go for a drive. He had to clear his head.

Lysandra found Aelin with her head turned to the window and she thought she had heard her friend crying.

“Hey you…” Lysandra sat at her side and caressed her friend’s head “what’s wrong?”

Aelin sniffled loudly “I think I have said something stupid.”

“More than usual?” But when Aelin did not laugh she realised it must have been real and bad.

“I woke up from surgery and I felt funny for a while. I think captain Whitethorn was here. I am not sure. And I think…” she stopped, sobbing a bit more “I think I told him I like him.” She finally turned her face to Lysandra “I remember his terror and then he left.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I think the drugs were wearing off and I felt a bit more lucid. I think it was him.”

“Oh darling.”

“He hates me so much that he ran away.” Aelin resumed sobbing heavily “am I such a horrible person?”

Lysandra hugged Aelin tightly and cursed the man. If she got her hands on him he would be a dead man. Or she could unleash Aedion on him. He was just as protective of Aelin.

“He is an idiot. A big tall idiot.” Lys brushed Aelin’s cheek “you need to rest now. You just had surgery.”

“How’s Aedion?”

“At home. Sore and bored already. The doctor gave him a week off but he is not happy. Well, you know him.”

“I heard Dorian mentioning that he might try to get the review postponed. It’s not fair on you guys.”

Aelin sighed “I will still be out.”

“I know, but at least Aedion will be there. One of you at least.” Lysandra reassured her.

Aelin put the tv on and gasped when the tv showed Rowan. It was just outside the hospital.

“What the fuck?”

“Put the volume up,” said Lysandra.

“They were at it for over an hour, with no break, no one to cover for them or take their place. Captain Galathynius supervised the whole thing while injured and barely being able to stand. And you give all the credit to us?” She heard him raise his voice“We showed up because the captain had the amazing idea of using us. We swooped in at the end of the game, when one of the building was almost off. We just dropped some water and you call us heroes?” His hand were not in tight fists “I flew one of those planes and I do not want glory. I do not deserve glory. East and West station do. The police do.” Aelin saw him walk away and she had a feeling that it was when he came back to her. He had normal clothes on. When he took her at the hospital he still had the uniform on.

“That is definitely not the speech of a man who hates you.”

“Lys, not helping.”

Aelin flipped through the channels to see the interview again.

“Don’t think too much about him.”

“Yeah,” Aelin stared at the tv “no worth it, right?”

“Totally.”

Lys kissed her head “Babe I need to go home and tend to Aedion. I don’t want to leave him alone for too long. I know the guys are planning to come as soon as they are off shift, which will be tomorrow morning.”

“Go, I will be fine.” She patted her hand and gave her a tight smile “go and look after Aedion.”

Once Lysandra was out of the room she grabbed her phone and texted Rowan. She waited an hour and tried to phone and realised his phone was off.

“Fine, message received.”

Rowan had driven all the way to the coast to Ilium. It had taken him two hours but it had been worth it. He had spent the afternoon sitting on the beach, his phone switched off. He lay down in the sand and closed the eyes, enjoying the peace of the beach. He almost thought that he’d love to take Aelin there but as soon as his brain said the name he had been ignoring for the past two hours his mood was soured again.

He had fled. Like a coward. She just had surgery and he had left her on her own because he had an issue dealing with his feelings. He was the worst human being ever existed.

Was it so wrong if she was in love with him?

His mind flashed him a name. A name he had tried to bury in the depths of his mind.

He groaned in frustration and stood and started walking on the sand along the beach. The place was beautiful.

He wandered until it was late then decided to go and find a room for the night. He was not in the mood to go back to Orynth. Then he went for dinner and finally dragged himself to a pub. Alcohol. He definitely needed a drink. Something that he hadn’t enjoyed in a very long time. Damn he was so boring. How could anyone be in love with him?

He had a few whiskies in one shot and the liquor burned his throat. He was not used anymore and the booze already started spreading a welcomed numbness through his body and mind. Good, oblivion is what he wanted.

He ordered two more whiskies and chugged them down again in one single motion.

He looked at the tv behind the counter and he discovered the news were passing his interview. He lowered his head and realised straight away it was a stupid idea. His silver hair stood out like a sore thumb.

“I think you look prettier in person.” Said a voice at his side, then he felt a pair of hands on his arm.

He turned his head and there was a woman at his side. Smiling sensually at him.

“Well, you need glasses.” He turned his head again and kept watching the tv ignoring the woman.

“I am Remelle.”

“Good for you.” He ate a couple of the peanuts on the small plate on the counter.

“Why is such a good looking man all alone in a place like this, drinking whisky shots?”

“None of your business.” She moved closer and her hand traced the length of his arm. He had a t-shirt on and his tattoo was on display.

“I love your tattoo.” Her fingers traced the lines of it.

Rowan got off the chair “I am sorry, but I am not interested. Not in the mood and you are being very rude.”

“I can help you make forget about her. You look like pining about some mysterious woman”

Rowan had enough. He stormed out of the pub and ran all the way back to the beach and fell on his knees. He looked up at the dark sky and then closed his eyes.

He had feelings for Aelin. Somehow his treacherous heart had decided to play tricks on him and make him feel again. Something he had forbidden himself from doing for a while. But Aelin had struck him dumb since day one with her big mouth, her defiance. The woman had fire in her and a part of him felt irremediably pulled to her, no matter how much he tried to deny it. He confessed to himself that he had enjoyed fussing over her, looking after her and even try to cheer her up when she had been down. He had told her the truth, he was in awe of her, of what she had done and he hadn’t been in awe of anyone in a very long time.

He had feelings for her, big damn feelings and all he could do was flee instead of facing them. But he was not ready yet. That was his biggest fear. That’s why he had ran out of the room, because her admission had touched a part of him that hadn’t healed yet. Just like her he had loved and lost everything. His feelings were just budding. He had better repress them before it got worse. It was better for both of them. He was positive she deserved someone better than him.

Rowan sighed and sat in the sand in silence, staring at the sky until the fog in his mind started to clear. Eventually he dragged his pitiful arse back to his hotel and crashed in bed fully clothed.

TAGS:

@rowaelinismyotp

@jlinez

@swankii-art-teacher

#rowan whitethorn #rowaelin #rowan x aelin #aelin galythinius #Lysandra #aedion x lysandra #elide x lorcan #fanfic #Throne of Glass series

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spacemancharisma · 4 years ago

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hey everybody. donation post ahoy.

so I know a lot of y’all really love me and my boyfriend and our relationship, so here’s the part where I give you the opportunity to support the things you love lmao.

(id: a photo of Alex and Wesley in their halloween costumes. Alex is a tall nonbinary person in a wolf costume, Wesley is a shorter trans man in a bunny costume. Alex has their hand on Wesley’s head.)

in may I am graduating college and I hope to move in with my best friend and live near my boyfriend so that I can introduce him to my parents and date with their knowledge for a few months before we get married (they haven’t known about him this whole time because they’re deeply trandphobic). the key to this whole plan is our being able to move away from our respective abusive parents and live near each other and take care of ourselves. obviously, this involves a pretty good deal of money. we’re both saving up the best we can, he just got a job in a plant nursery to make up the money spent on top surgery and i’m doing my best to start a career as soon as I’m graduated. however, it’s not cheap to support a whole human life and all its accessories, so if anyone has the funds and would like to help support your favorite t4t couple in really starting our lives together, here are the ways you can do that:

my venmo is @A_Greer

my paypal is at this link

if you want to support us through our art, here is information about Wesley’s knitting and here’s my redbubble. if you have any requests for redbubble, send them to my ask box and i’ll get that up for you.

obviously I completely understand if you can’t support us financially, but if you could share this post that would be great. any little thing helps with rent, food, insurance, medical needs, etc. it has been absolutely delightful to see other people enjoy my posts about our relationship, and I really truly value you all. thank you so much. 💜💜💜

#personal #donation post #mutual aid #trans #transgender #t4t #queer #mlm #nblm #gay #donation #financial aid

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carryonmylovelies · 3 years ago

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HELLO MY DARLING HI IT'S BEEN A WHILE HOW ARE YOU 💕💕💕 uni's been fuckin stressful as shit i've never been so sleep deprived in my entire life I HOPE YOU'RE DOING WELL THOUGH 💗 mwah

this is me laying u down in bed and tucking u in and giving u a kiss so u can get like a very sexy 15 hours of sleep and then ill genuinely beat the shit of any uni-related thing that gets anywhere near u!!!!!!!

im so so happy 2 hear from u oh goodness and im so sorry that uni is being so fucking stressful its really quite good at that tbh !!! but seriously i hope ur on winter break now and can get lots of very well deserved rest and sleep my darling 💘💖💞💕❄

im uh!!!! still fucking around i suppose!!! its been a rough few months lmao hwjsnsjsk my beloved rabbit had surgery near the end of october and i was rlly rlly anxious abt it and on that same exact day my fucking car got stolen from work ??? so that whole situation just kinda fucked me up for awhile and ive been trying to come back from that lmaoooo.

but the best news i can possibly give u is that my rabbits surgery was a complete success and the tumor they removed was benign so he's doing really good and his health is much better !!!! 💘💘 ive also managed to scrape together enough funds to secure another car for myself with help from my family and the insanely generous ppl from my job which im rlly rlly grateful for 💕

anyways anyways besides all of my oversharing i would rlly love to hear whats going on w u anon and/or if u have any fun winter plans coming up !!!!!! thank u as always for ur super cutie darling asks i treasure them so much 💋💋💋💖💖💕💖💘💕

#the story of my car getting stolen (twice) is insane and hysterical and ive crazy laugh sobbed over it like a LOT bc its hilarious so.#like it sucked so so so fucking much and threw my life in the gutter but also like. its so funny. in a bad hilarious kinda way u know !!#but yeah bunny is doing rlly well 💖💖 i have a bajillion pics of him just in case anyone needs bunny pics!!!#you've reached raegan's answering machine leave a message at the beep #anon #sweet sweet beloved anon 💘💞💞💕💖🤩😋💘💘💕

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igirisuhito · 4 years ago

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Title: Out of my mind Relationship(s): Kamukura Izuru/Naegi Makoto Rating: Teen Summary: Naegi goes to confront Kamukura Izuru, based off their scene in dr3. For Kamuegi week Day 5: Scars/Future Foundation Trigger Warnings: Medical Trauma, Medical Abuse, Broken Bones, Dr0 References/Spoilers, PTSD

[Ao3 Link]

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Future Foundation were kind enough to disclose all information that led to the Tragedy of Hope's Peak to its survivors. Naegi read through the files of the Hope Cultivation Project, the project that was being funded by the school's reserve course. The same event that led to its downfall.

It was utterly petrifying to him.

The fact that a talentless student would volunteer himself for such brutal experiments was unfathomable. He saw the logs of Hinata Hajime's descent into inhumanity, becoming a creature nobody could ever hope to perceive as a regular person.

There were 3 surgeries in total, all additional operations were performed through electrical stimulus or injections of medication. The first one was a whole two days after Hinata had signed that contract, the aforementioned contract that had disappeared from the Biology building before it could have been recovered. Which was unfortunate, but they were already so lucky to have been able to obtain the Project's logs that nobody really cared about what had been lost.

The first surgery was the one that scared Naegi the most. The severing of the connections between the prefrontal cortex and parts of the frontal lobe from the rest of the brain. Kirigiri had explained this to him simply, "They performed a leucotomy. You know what that is, right? A lobotomy?"

They'd learnt about it in highschool, surprisingly their years of education were the memories most easily recovered. Naegi never really paid attention to lessons in psychology. Perhaps he should have, as a knowledge in brain ablation somehow ended up being something he actually did need later on in life.

The fact remained that this was the first step in inducing Kamukura's apathetic outlook towards life. This was where the despair began, the despair he wanted to reverse. But how can someone reverse the effects of permanent brain damage? It's impossible, right?

Things seemed to only get worse the more he read. The thing Naegi hated most was how positive the post surgery notes were, as if what occurred was a miracle.

The subject is responding well, his aggression has reduced and he has become more passive towards his doctors. The subject's anxiety seems to have been quelled and he has been dissociative and nonverbal. Fortunately, he is still able to use his vocal cords and form words, as evidenced by his reaction to pain stimulus.

He could only gag. The school Naegi admired so deeply was willing to do this to a human being? He couldn't force himself to imagine the student identification photo of Hinata bearing those same lifeless eyes of Kamukura.

It was all so so fucked up. Enough to make him groan and slam his head down onto the desk, as if giving himself brain damage would fix Hinata's.

Naegi recalled Munakata placing a hand on his shoulder, interrupting the break he was taking from cross-examining the files. He had jumped on instinct from the sudden contact. Flushing in embarrassment at the fact someone has seen him act so childishly.

Munakata hadn't seemed phased. He just looked over at the papers scattered on the desk, skimming, scanning. He spoke up in his rather gruff voice.

"They wanted you to read up on the destroyer of Hope’s Peak, right?"

"Uh, yeah…" Sheepishly, Naegi nodded. "This guy had to be awfully messed up to volunteer for something like this."

With a loud click of his tongue, Munakata removed his hand from the boy's shoulder. He backed himself up to the table in which Naegi had been reading at, before lifting himself and sitting on the table. "No person would volunteer for this. He was manipulated by Hope's Peak and allowed despair to swallow him whole."

Naegi sat up in response, awaiting elaboration from the Council President.

"Hope's Peak obviously omitted the full details of what would happen to Hinata Hajime when he signed the contract." Crossing his arms over his chest, Munakata met Naegi's intense gaze with a sigh, sounding almost mad that Naegi couldn't read his thoughts. "Of course, most of the Future Foundation doesn't want you to think that. Hope's Peak academy was never the shining beacon of hope it pretended to be, it's platitudes were just worthless lies told to deceive."

"That's terrible!" Naegi cried, slamming one hand down on the table for emphasis. "Though, now that I think about it it makes a lot of sense that Hinata didn't know everything. But he still orchestrated the first Killing game, right? Why would he have done that?"

"Actually Kamukura Izuru was framed by Enoshima Junko." Munakata sighed in a pompous manner that reminded him all too much of Togami. "Unfortunately, he woefully succumbed to despair, though it was indeed Enoshima who led him down that path. The sheer amount of murder he did go on to later commit proves that in reality he isn't redeemable."

"Framed…? So it wasnt Kamukura who orchestrated the first killing game?"

"Of course not!" The older man hissed. "Do you seriously just believe anything anyone tells you?"

Naegi's breathing hitched in fear as the other slammed his hand down onto the desk with much more intensity than Naegi had earlier. "N-no… I'm sorry…"

Munakata slid back off the table, causing it to groan beneath his weight. "You should be more careful, Naegi Makoto. It's purely luck that that blind trust hasn't gotten you killed yet."

Next thing he knew Munakata was gone with a loud slam of a door. God that guy was hot-headed.

But he was wrong, about Kamukura, that is.

For some reason that experience was all Naegi could think about as he looked at Kamukura's back. Stiff shoulders hidden beneath the black fabric of his uniform, dark hair billowing in the wind. He created such an eerie silhouette against the golden sunset in the background, beautiful, yet filling the other with a sense of trepidation and fear.

The man Naegi had spent the whole day searching for, of course he was in the last place he looked. He could almost sigh at how awful his luck could be sometimes. His feet ached from searching all around Hope's Peak, between all the different labs and even that freaky hidden room beneath the statue of the founder.

"Naegi Makoto. The Super High School Level Hope, also known as the former Super High School Level Good Luck." A monotone voice that sounded too close and too far away all at the same time suddenly broke the silence. "You've come on orders to kill me."

All that trepidation was causing Naegi's hands to shake from how tightly wound up he was. The sound of someone else's voice made him flinch. "H-huh?! You know?"

"Of course I do." Kamukura spoke again, now tilting his head to the side to glance back at Naegi. "It's not that I'm omniscient, I just bear the talent of the Super High School Level Analyst."

It was strange to have his mind read before he even got the thought completely through. Naegi squashed that feeling down, opting to focus on the task at hand.

He cleared his throat, attempting to still his nerves. "If you knew this, why aren't you running?"

"Hm?" Kamukura turned himself around, now offering his complete attention to Naegi.

Naegi shivered under those piercing crimson eyes, they bore an even brighter colour than that of Ishimaru or Celeste's eyes. They seemed to target him and lock on like a rifle, loaded and ready to fire at a moment's notice.

"Do you honestly believe that you can kill me?"

The breath seemingly disappeared from Naegi's lungs. He drew his hand over his mouth to muffle the faint whimper that escaped his lips. Kamukura's aura was overwhelming, an aura of pure superiority and death.

This whole situation reminded Naegi of his own execution. The pure despair coursing through his veins. The way Monokuma grinned at him. The loud pounding of the press behind him that shook his body from head to toe.

Ah, that was the sound of his own heart beating uncontrollably.

"My presence is bringing back unfortunate memories for you. I apologise, I am aware that you are not here to actually kill me." As if sensing Naegi's fear, Kamukura spoke slowly and clearly.

The other boy nodded slowly, refusing to take the hand from his mouth as stinging tears threatened to spill from the corners of his eyes. His blood was rushing in his ears, drowning out all sense, overwhelming him with the pure power that was Kamukura.

Kamukura stepped towards him, a move that startled Naegi more than it probably should have. He stepped backwards in turn, but quickly set his foot down on a small and unstable piece of rubble. Instead of Naegi launching off to run, his ankle rolled at an unnatural angle.

Naegi yelped as he fell forward, his forehead barely grazing the dirtied ground. He quickly rolled over, desperately shuffling backwards and away from the older man whilst attempting not to hurt himself any further.

"Hey, listen to me! Calm down."

His body froze completely upon hearing the command. Kamukura touched his own lips in thought, a little confusion at his sudden break in character. He briefly pondered if his past emotions were through from standing in the classroom of 77-B.

But he deemed the thought unnecessary, for now, instead focusing back on the boy in front of him. "You're here to offer a compromise, are you not?"

Naegi sucked in a quick breath, grateful for the reminder of what he was actually here for. Unfortunately the pain from his ankle was really beginning to set in, he needed to make this brief. Nodding quickly, he attempted to regain his composure. "Yes. I know I couldn't kill you even if I wanted to. But I don't, you deserve a chance at redemption."

"I cannot be redeemed. I was created to be a tool, I have no free will and only act on the orders of others." Kamukura spoke bluntly, tilting his chin up a little. "Your redemption means nothing to me."

Naegi paused. He was expecting this kind of answer, the kind Togami gave him when Naegi said he forgave him for his actions in the killing game.

"Huh? I don't want your forgiveness. My actions are always justified." He had said. The memory brought a little smile to his face.

"Okay then." Tilting his head up, Naegi showed that smile off to Kamukura, as if showing him a sign of peace. "Would you like to know more about Hinata Hajime?"

"The previous inhabitant of this vessel? Why do you believe he would mean anything to me?" It was phrased less like a question, and more like an expression of confusion. As if Kamukura didn't really care about the answer, that he already knew the answer, he just didn't quite understand why Naegi Makoto, of all people, would have any interest.

"Because you're here." Raising his right arm, Naegi gestured vaguely around the room, before wincing and putting it back down. "Why would you come to a classroom full of students you didn't know to replace the flowers for Nanami Chiaki? The girl who was Hinata's best friend, the girl you murdered."

Kamukura's brow furrowed. He began to move in large calculated strides, right up to where Naegi sat, before leaning over him in a display of authority. "So you are smarter than you seem."

It was difficult to tell if it was Kamukura or Naegi who had let down their guard, perhaps a mix of both. But a small detail like that didn't bother Naegi, as his smile only widened beneath Kamukura's attempt of showing power. He had him, that much was obvious.

"Well, Kamukura-kun? Why are you here?"

Kamukura pursed his lips for a moment, thinking to himself for a second, before answering the question. "Because being here makes me feel despair."

He curled his fingers into fists and glanced away briefly, sighing as he realised he would have to answer the inevitable question. "There are a few places in this world where I feel emotions. The classroom of 77-B, the Reserve Course building, and the third floor of the biology building."

"The third floor of the biology building?" As he thought to himself, Naegi unconsciously brought his hand to his chin. "That's oddly specific."

"The neuroscience institute." Kamukura elaborated.

"Oh…" Naegi moved his hand up to his mouth again, feeling a mix of sympathy and horror.

Of course he would feel despair there. After all, that's where Kamukura would have been made, where he would have been tortured and experimented on. Had his brain destroyed and enhanced over and over to produce the perfect hope.

Where Hinata Hajime… died.

"It's an odd feeling, emotions. The emotions I experience from being in these places are perhaps the only reason I'm still here. That and the fact I have nowhere to go, no purpose left in a world without Enoshima." Kamukura began to mumble somewhat as he rambled on.

Jeez, at least let Hinata rest in peace.

Naegi bit back the thought, shaking his head and reminding himself of what he was really here for. "Come with me then. If you want to experience more emotions, then I can show you the Neo World Program."

There was a slow blink as Kamukura processed the offer. "The Neo World Program?"

"Yeah! We put it together using research from the Super High School Level programmer, therapist, and neurologist." Naegi grinned excitedly as if he was talking about how proud he was of his own child. "It's a simulation that allows people to live out peaceful days filled with hope."

Kamukura blinked again. "The Super High School Level Neurologist, Matsuda Yasuke?"

"Yes?"

Those crimson eyes narrowed to near slits. "The childhood best friend and love of Enoshima Junko?"

"...yes?"

"Who developed the method that was used to wipe your highschool memories prior to the Killing Game?"

For a moment Naegi paused, unsure of how to answer that one. "I…guess so?"

Crouching down onto his haunches, Kamukura leaned in even closer to Naegi. "So you are using memory erasing technology then?"

Naegi leaned back a little, uncomfortable as Kamukura's hair brushed against his face. "...Yes."

"And, assuming you're placing all of Enoshima's protégé's in this program, you'll have about 15 students?"

"Yes, if we manage to convince them all..." Naegi's a voice dropped a little, finding himself suddenly a little more insecure about his plan. "I don't mean to interrupt but… where are you going with this?"

Kamukura was almost shocked at how naive Naegi was, especially considering he had been the one to end Enoshima. Or was he just stupid? "I'm merely baffled that you would sacrifice your own health for the sake of people you don't know. People who are murderers."

It wasn't a complete lie, most people would not have such considerations for criminals, people who had committed crimes as heinous as the ones the remnants had committed.

Naegi noted the lack of emotion in his voice. "You don't sound baffled…"

Ignoring his comment, Kamukura nodded. "I'll participate. I'll make sure the others do too."

"Wait, you will?!" Whilst sitting up a little too excitedly, Naegi put pressure on his ankle, sending pain shooting up his leg. He winced and laid back again.

"Don't do that. Your ankle is broken." Letting out a bored sigh, Kamukura straightened himself back up.

"B-broken?!" Naegi's eyes widened to near saucers in shock. "I thought I just twisted it… Am I seriously that unlucky?"

Kamukura began unbuttoning his black uniform jacket, earning a strange look from the other as he slid it off his shoulders. He then proceeded to fold it in half and kneel back down next to Naegi's broken ankle.

The other boy watched in awe as he tied it tightly, using it as a makeshift splint to prevent Naegi's ankle from moving too much. "Y-you're too kind Kamukura-kun… much more so than I anticipated."

"I'm doing this purely out of necessity. Nothing more." Kamukura muttered as he tightened the knot, causing Naegi to hiss in pain. He then proceeded to slide his left arm under the boy's knees and right arm under his back, nestling snugly at the base of his spine.

"Wait wait wait wait wait what are you-?"

Kamukura lifted Naegi up, causing him to wrap his arms tightly around Kamukura's neck in alarm. "Y-you're carrying me?!"

"It's not as though you can walk." Kamukura sighed exasperatedly. He was having no issues with Naegi's weight, his panicked yelling, however…

"B-but I'm heavy…" Naegi refuted, loosening his grip a little when he realised Kamukura wasn't going to hurt him.

"You weigh less than most girls, in accordance with your height." Kamukura spoke bluntly, scanning his eyes over Naegi's form.

"H-Hey!!"

"You're easily flustered."

"Don't tease me!" with the heat rising in his cheeks, Naegi buried his face into Kamukura's chest in hopes of hiding his embarrassment. "I get enough of that from Togami-kun!"

Kamukura shuffled Naegi in order to give himself a more stable hold before walking out of the classroom. Naegi grumbled into Kamukura's chest, pulling himself even closer.

"You're also easily placated. I do not understand how you've managed to survive thus far." Kamukura muttered, seemingly more to himself than Naegi.

"You're not the first one to say that to me." Naegi whispered, voice muffled by Kamukura's shirt.

As tempted as Kamukura felt to further tease Naegi, he decided against upsetting the boy any more than he already had. An emotional fallout would be annoying.

They walked in silence for a few more minutes as Kamukura traversed the stairs of the building, holding Naegi tightly in order to keep him safe.

It was near impossible to speak up over the overwhelming presence of the other, so Naegi remained still and quiet. Kamukura, however, was unafraid of breaking that silence, and suddenly piped up with a question.

"Would the Neo World Program allow me to become somebody else?"

"U-uh...I don't see why not? It might affect the results, however." Mumbling in thought, Naegi tilted his head up to look at Kamukura. "Do you wish to become a different person, Kamukura-kun?"

"Well, I'm assuming you'll try to reverse the despair by reverting us to our pre-despair selves. However, I do not have a pre-despair self." Kamukura dug his fingers slightly into Naegi's shoulder, not hard enough to hurt, but enough for Naegi to see he was distressed. "Well, except for… him."

Naegi pressed his lips together, trying his best not to be too creeped out by Kamukura's ability to predict exactly what was going to happen. "Well, that is what we planned to do. But I thought you were turned to despair by Enoshima?"

"I was turned to spreading despair by Enoshima. However, from the moment I was created, I have been despair. There is no joy in an existence so boring." Musing to himself, Kamukura closed his eyes for a moment, still walking perfectly straight as he did so. "When a human is an expert at everything, there is nothing left to do, no goals left to accomplish. I can predict anything and everything just as it is going to happen. Nothing surprises me, nothing brings me joy. I no longer have the ability to feel human emotions."

"I see, that makes sense… even though it is really sad." Pressing his head closer to Kamukura's chest, Naegi pondered how it must feel to live such a life. He was finding himself rather upset by the prospect.

Even if Kamukura didn't feel any human emotions, and his strength was beyond human, Naegi could hear his heart beating softly in his chest. There was no doubt about the fact he was human beneath that cold exterior.

"You pity me?" Kamukura's tone was rather confused, even curious.

No matter how much he thought about it, Naegi couldn't understand why exactly that warranted such confusion. "I… guess?"

"Even though I bear every talent known to man?"

Naegi shrugged. "It's lonely at the top."

Looking away, Kamukura took a moment to turn the phrase over in his mind. "You're quite intriguing, Naegi Makoto. Taking pity on terrorists and murderers. I wonder, what exactly led you down this treacherous path?"

"H-huh? It's just common human decency…" As he stammered away, Naegi found himself fiddling with his hands against Kamukura's back. "You guys were normal teenagers once, it's not fair that you have to die just because your lives also got ruined by Enoshima."

"Many innocent people have died at both our hands and Enoshima's." It confused Naegi how Kamukura could confess such a thing so casually, so stone-faced. "It is only just that we pay for our crimes."

"That's why it should end here!" Naegi said that a little too loudly, too passionately. He adjusted his tone to be a bit more quiet. "A-And you guys should be allowed to have normal lives too."

Kamukura merely stared blankly ahead, lost in thought. "…You really are just like your sister."

Naegi suddenly gripped the fabric of Kamukura's blazer tightly, pulling himself up a little. "You've met Komaru?!"

"No." The words were curt. "Stop moving."

Naegi was confused enough by the response to decide it was best to stop talking. It seemed his weariness from being on his feet all day was starting to catch up with him, and the warmth from Kamukura's body wasn't helping his situation whatsoever. He allowed his eyelids to rest, relaxing to the tune of Kamukura's heartbeat against his ear and the rock of his movements.

Kamukura found himself most unimpressed by this new burden. This boy had the audacity to not only break his ankle, but was now steadily shifting into REM sleep in his arms. The worst part was that ridiculously soft expression he was making, blushing slightly even in his sleep.

As Naegi mumbled sleepily, he relaxed his arms, opting to move them away from the other's neck and instead have them wrapped around his torso. Kamukura could rouse the boy, but he wouldn't dare.

"Napping in the middle of the apocalypse in the arms of a terrorist?" Kamukura whispered to himself. "You truly are strange, Naegi Makoto."

#Danganronpa #kamuegiweek2020 #Kamuegi #Naegi Makoto #Kamukura Izuru #Ficgiri #Dr #Dr3

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