#i also still have some good bonuses for this month and the next month
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Tired. Sad. My head hurts. Stressed??? No time to really relax at all. And my country about to be taken over by the literal devil and there is no counting on anything after that.
#cant even book a therapy appointment#i will self medicate instead 😔#all i asked for for christmas was top surgery stuff#cause i thought that might be soon#but it likely wont be until summer at least#so this is just going to suck really#i am#so goddamn sad#and on top of that its the anniversary of the biggest betrayal in my life#how do you pin down when the betrayal happened if it was a sustained lie#is it when the lie started when they shouldve told me or when i actually found out?#idk#i bought myself a really nice gift though that im really looking forward to#its a drawing tablet with a screen. no computer plugin necessary#ive wanted this for over a decade#so its nice that i finally get to have it#i hope it will get me to start drawing more again#i also still have some good bonuses for this month and the next month#its giving me a lot of hope for my surgery fund#im still so tired though#i just need to get through these next stupid weeks#and then things will start to be okay again i hope#i really really hope#sorry for posting this on my sideblog i dont want my main blog moots to see this and get worried
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Man, outside of this shit with the one manager lying about me and me getting pissed off and not wanting to work with him, I'm looking pretty good at work right now. I mean, obviously they were already happy with what I've been doing so far, or they wouldn't have given me that raise out of nowhere. But now this week we're having issues with the one overnight crew member. We still don't really have many people who want to or can do overnight, so he was on I think five nights this week as well. Basically he's going to have to enter a 28 day inpatient program in the next couple of days for his mental health. But then I had to send him home early last night and then he called off tonight.
So i texted my manager like, "Hey I think we need to start planning for the very real possibility that he's not going to be back in until he completes this program." Which, going forward next week on, she can probably figure it out with the managers who are willing to help. And there is another crew member who was going to do overnights, but can't now, but said he could do for the 28 days that Cory is gone as a temporary thing. He just can't commit to doing it long term.
But this week is the problem, because anybody who could cover his shifts is already going to be at 40 hours and have other shifts they'd need to drop in order to get these shifts covered, so then she'd have to find coverage for those shifts. I'm going in tonight and I said if I absolutely had to, I could work my other day off as well. I don't really want to do that, and I know the company definitely doesn't want to pay me for 16 hours of overtime, but it's starting to seem like it may go that way.
But even if I do that, there were three more shifts this week that it was me and him, so I was talking to her about options on how we could get those shifts covered. She seems pretty happy that I'm reaching out to her to try and get situations resolved and am helping try to come up with solutions.
I've only been with the company for six months and I do think such a promotion would be a bit premature at the moment, but this kind of shit is really going to help me should the Assistant Manager position become available. Which due to some other stuff going on at the moment, could be happening relatively soon. Like, I know I'm good at my job and that I could probably get promoted eventually regardless, but I really feel like taking on the extra responsibilities that I have and being proactive in trying to resolve these issues is really going to speed that process up. Which is pretty exciting, because from what I understand the current AM's weekly take home pay is roughly double what I currently make. Now she's been with the company for six years, so she's probably gotten some raises. But she also gets like quarterly bonuses on top of that and all this other shit. I mean, that's like, to me, a crazy amount of money to make.
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Not So Smart Meter
On Friday our smart meter told us we had been charged £9 for heating, which spurred me into fiscal action. Well, I say it spurred me into action; I haven’t actually done anything, but it did alarm me. More so for some reason than any of the other do of money I have spent over the past 6 months. £100 at Asda, £37 on the bus to Glasgow. All fine, apparently. But £9 for a day of heating! That’s one step too far.
It turns out that this is because we had put the thermometer display thing in our bedroom, which had the radiators off (it gets too hot at night) so the system was desperately trying to heat up a room over which it had no power. This realisation calmed me down a bit (it was only £4 yesterday), but I’m still going to post my Patreon here for the first time in a while.
Get more from The University Challenge Review on Patreon
creating Irreverent Blogs
www.patreon.com
I write reviews of old episodes over there, and they tend to be a bit more in-depth (read — even longer and more self-indulgent) than the ones here. The latest one is due out tomorrow and is on the quarter-final between Bangor and Imperial from 2012/13. Subscribe for as little as £1/month (that’s 11% of one day of heating if you forget you’ve turned the radiators off in the bedroom.)
Turn the internet off.
I’ve been doing Local Month of Writing a Novel this month (as explained in a previous edition of this blog), and most days it has taken me upwards of 2 hours to get the 1667 words down.
Today, I turned the wifi off and blasted through 2000 words in one hour. This could just be due to the fact that I struck a rich vein of inspiration, but it’s also definitely at least partly due to the fact I wasn’t periodically on the Fantasy Football Reddit, or Twitter, or Bluesky, or Instagram, or YouTube, or…
Its incredibly simple, but if you cut off access to these timesinks then you cannot access them. Meaning that you get through your work a lot quicker, leaving you plenty of time to write tips on how to get through your work a lot quicker.
Anyway, onto this week’s episode, the second repechage match, between SOAS and Durham.
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Here’s your first starter for ten.
Unfortunately at this point I’m going to have to turn the internet back on because I need to rewatch the episode. Here’s hoping I can avoid clicking on the Youtube shorts tab. Wish me luck.
Brookfield-Pertusini introduces herself by saying she is ‘quite literally reading English literature’, which I personally find to be a bit cringe, but perhaps I am just becoming an old man.
Nash hits back for Durham with pheromones, but he talks himself out of five points on the bonuses because he doesn’t believe that the football team Villarreal could possibly be from a town called Villarreal.
Provinces gives Hasler his first points of the night, then both sides miss the picture starter, on the word turnip in different languages. Roberts hears the word Ra and buzzes with Egypt, winning Durham the picture bonuses, of which they take one.
Rajan calls, and Nash is first to pick up with telephone on the next starter. They are thirty points clear, but Lambert sneaks in with Trojan horse to keep SOAS close.
Another for Hasler gives SOAS the lead going into the music round, but Brookfield-Pertusini is quickest to recognise the Peep Show theme song and steals it back.
Brookfield-Pertusini, who, as we remember, is studying English literature, takes the picture starter by recognising a wordless version of the cover of The Bell Jar. She is good on the bonuses too, but mistakes Normal People for Conversations with Friends. A mistake I made too, because I thought Normal People was red, which it often is, but not in the original printing.
Makaton gives Dorn her third starter, and further ten-pointers from Lambert and Hasler give SOAS a fifty-five-point lead with two minutes to go.
It would have been a sixty-point lead had Dorn been allowed her answer ‘af Klimt’ when the correct answer was ‘af Klint’. I think this demonstrates sufficient knowledge, and presume that it was disallowed because of the artist Gustav Klimt. But she said the ‘af’ so it is clear she knows who she is talking about. Very harsh, in my opinion.
And very important.
Nash keeps Durham in the game with ER, and they do a very good job of answering the bonuses very quickly, passing quickly too when they don’t know. Roberts takes another with Richard II, and a hat-trick put them ten points adrift.
Ten points which disappeared with scattering from the skipper. A single bonus would win them the game, but the gong beats them to it.
Tiebreak.
A question with the answer slipstream was dropped by both teams.
A second question was also dropped by both teams but cut from the show — thanks to Bluesky user trainingmontage for pointing me in the direction of the YouTube comment by one of the SOAS team.
A third question with the answer llama is buzzed on by SOAS’s Lambert, but unfortunately he says alpaca.
A fine guess. I don’t know how much more obvious the rest of the question would have made it that the answer was llama not alpaca, but it was a good tactic to be first on the buzzer here. It’s just a shame that he was wrong. And a shame that ‘af Klimt’ was disallowed.
SOAS 145–150 Durham
Incredible comeback from Durham. As Youtube commenter Ramboost007 says, they remind us that in UC 55 points is just a 3-possession lead.
Tough to take for SOAS, but a very entertaining show for the viewer.
See you next week for the first of the second-round matches.
For now, I’m off to check my smart meter.
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Hello All!
So...I've been on a bit of a hiatus once again! I have been super busy in my personal life as always. I am hoping to get some play time soon, I've been really itching to open my game especially while my manuscript is still with my betas for a few more weeks. Anyway, I have some plans!
For my Sims game, I have been really wanting to make another world, or maybe more...I don't know, I'm too indecisive. I have been toying with the idea of making a roadless village type island, possibly resurrecting my old Pickerling Cove world I started ages ago and did not complete, and a new idea that ties into my real life a little bit. I started a world years ago and it corrupted so it was never completed, however, I found some of the old builds for that world from before the corruption that I have tested in game. I'm thinking of remaking the original concept and using those old builds where I can. Some of them unfortunately will be quite impossible to use because of the terrain, however, I am wanting to incorporate interiors that I am planning to make in 1/6 scale for my little one's doll town. Yes, I have an entire hidden doll city planned in our playroom...and I've been watching too much Youtube in my free time lol! Anyway, I'm thinking that building the various cafe's, apartments ect in Sim World will help me make design choices for the compartments I have planned in the window seat, coffee table and bookshelf in our playroom.
I have also started sewing some clothes for my kiddo's dolls because we have mostly rags left over from my childhood, modern Barbie clothes are simply not the same as they were when I was a kid and let's just say it's a good thing the majority of my kiddo's Ken dolls have molded on underwear! That being said, I would love to share pictures with you all, but I don't want to clutter up Simblr's with non sims stuff so I am planning to open a second page for sharing my crafts! As long as Tubmlr still exists that is.
I know this is already long, but I wanted to at least share my last played day in Redwood Harbor (from months ago) below the cut as I haven't shared pictures in a LOOOONG time! Thanks for sticking around to read this and I hope everyone is doing well! Now on to the pics!
I don't remember exactly what was going on, but I do know that Antonio is still working nights and Joanna is getting VERY pregnant so once I get back into game she may go into labor by the end of this rotation!
Woohoo! Jody has learned to walk! I'm going to be honest, the Sims toddlers wear me out so I have never really tried to get their skills accomplished until my Redwood Harbor save, lol! Quite proud of my little sims!
Looks like it was off to the winter festival the next day! Antonio works nights and Joanna is on maternity leave already...aaand of course, they left Jody to fend for himself while they went ice skating!
Left over salad it is for dinner...Joanna what are those shoes you're wearing with that outfit!!??
OMG!! Really!!?? I'm pretty sure these two are going to break up again so I'm not sure how this is going to work out!
Time for bonuses! Better luck next year Joanna, maybe you won't be on maternity for most of the next year so you can progress in your career, fingers crossed the sims in this save seem to be very fertile.
Have I mentioned how much I LOVE playing this save?
#sims 3#ts3#ts3 world stories#sims3 gameplay#ts3 worlds#ts3 gameplay#updates#redwood harbor#joanna mccabe#antonio mcallister#jody mccalister#terrell thigpen#alyson farrell#upcoming projects
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cas it's been all over my dash, please what is up with incredibox i thought it was just a beat maker how does it have lore????
It was the art post that parodied My Immortal wasn't it. Yeah I'd have questions too
I'm so sorry for the invasion my broski.... but I'm glad you're in it with me now! teehee :3
Alright SO
The main game Incredibox (which you can buy for £4.99 on Google Play, Steam, and the Apple Store) is pretty simple. It has its sounds you assemble, and if you assemble them in the right order you can unlock 3 little cutscenes called Bonuses!
Most of the time they're just really cool mini-music videos that have a cute animation playing to an new spin on the sounds. Coolio visual spectacle. But SOME of them have visuals and lyrics that connect to each other! A little bit of worldbuilding! It built up over time until it culminated in the 8th official version, which has very long bonuses that connect together to form a gorgeous-looking 3 minute short film. Which was, insane! at the time. Especially since the film revealed that one of the guys from an earlier version was not only given extreme Story Importance in these bonuses, but also superpowers.
Yeah it was wild man,,, I wish I could've been in the fandom at the time
The 9th official version is much more lowkey with its storytelling, but it has a bunch of visual cameos and lyrical references that connect it back to the 8th. Its 2 (for now!) bonuses are shorter but jam-packed with gorgeous visuals and just,,, such earworms. (All of the bonuses are on YouTube btw, and all are named as well—that's where we get names for concepts.)
Nonetheless, Incredibox's story focuses on building up visually interesting concepts into a world, and picking one or two characters to drive a story if needed. Being a FNAF fan, I love this kind of implicit storytelling.
Some fan-made Mods of the Official Game take a similar, but more explicit approach. The most iconic one is the Evadare series of mods, which have some of the best fan-made bonuses to date. The last mod in the series, The Void, is also musically better than any official version. Each mod goes for the short-film approach, telling an explicit—if a little wild—story. The music was built first and the story built second, like the official game, but because the story is more explicit, we get some wild turns. We're in space. Then we're in Halloween town. Now we're pirates. Now we're in The Void.
There are many good mods that you can download and add to the official version of the game. But for fans who:
a) don't have the official version,
b) don't know how to program with json,
and/or
c) don't know how to animate with an Adobe Animate sprite sheet,
Scratch is the prime way to mod. Stories are all the rage in the fandom, but it's hard to add bonuses on Scratch. So to tell stories, people instead opt to make lore documents, with each sound having its own (sometimes gruesome) backstory...sometimes at the cost of sounding good. Orin Ayo is the most popular example of this, popular enough to form its own little sub-fandom. People love making OCs in the story, though there are better story-based Scratch mods like the Colorbox or Sepbox series.
As much as Incredibox pervades your dash now, it'll probably be gone in a few months when I move onto the next oingly spoingly...but it's still something I recommend you try out!
#I'm keeping the story vague so you can look at the bonuses and figure out the story beats for yourself#but you can also ask me and I'll infodump for u bestie 🥰#or watch a lore summary video. I know at least one exists#dystopia#<- the 8th version#wekiddy#<- the 9th version#evadare#<- epic official mod series#orin ayo#<- the most well-known edgy-type lore mod#incredibox#scratchbox
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Family Hunter (Slayer Archetype)
(art by shenfeic on DeviantArt)
A common theme in gothic horror, as well as horror in general, is the idea of a killer that doesn’t just have it out for you, but your entire family. In gothic horror such familiaricide is usually a vaguely-defined curse or hidden monster, or else perhaps a killer that uses supernatural means to track and put down a family, hunting every last member.
The reasons for doing so vary. Perhaps a powerful figure essentially put out a hit on an entire family line (perhaps one of royal lineage), or perhaps the assassin in question has a personal grudge against an entire family. Or perhaps there is a curse, and these murderers are only answering a supernatural call without any real connection to them. Or perhaps in a slightly more heroic turn, the family in question is thoroughly evil and needs to be hunted down.
No matter the case, the so-called “family hunter” slayers specialize in targeting a single family, but are also able to exploit other such bonds on an almost supernatural level, making them deadly not just to the family, but also anyone they are connected with, as well as any sort of beings that are unified by some special bond.
As one might expect, these slayers focus in on a single family to target with their predations, and thanks to a few occult tricks, they always know if there is anyone left, able to magically discern the next of kin of one of their targets. If in theory they succeed in wiping out a family, they can choose a new one with a month of research.
Eager as they are to slay this family, their weapons and attacks are that much more lethal against blood relatives of that family.
While normally these killers can focus on only one target for study at a time, if multiple nearby targets share a connection, such as being related, creator and creation, summoner and summoned, undead spawn and master, magical domination, or even the bond between master and familiar and the like, they can exploit how the bond makes them similar to study such beings all at once. Such targets don’t have to be part of their target family either.
Further still, they know tactics to isolate their studied target, cutting them off from support of nearby allies.
Interested in a slayer that specializes in very specific targets? Perhaps one that specializes in studying large groups at once in certain conditions? This archetype might be quite useful for a morally dubious character or NPC that evokes fear in those they hunt. You primarily lose slayer talents, so there is a cost for this specialization, of course, but for the flavor and the potential bonuses, it can be quite good in the right circumstances.
Now obviously this archetype is mostly meant for villain npcs, but players can take it to with the right backstory. However, I’d like to point out the implications of the mechanic where a family hunter that succeeds completely can select a new family to hunt later. Obviously if they are some sort of professional I can see this, or perhaps are devoted to destroying evil lineages. However, if they are motivated by revenge, they might move to new families for a variety of reasons, such as conflating the crimes of another clan with those of their original, or having developed a bloodlust only sated by destroying families. Others, however… might just not do it anymore, perhaps retiring, turning themselves into the authorities, or even retraining out of the archetype.
Generations ago, the Akullus clan summoned forth multiple Acrididaemons, the embodiments of death by insect plagues and the starvation such events bring. The fiends brought ruin upon the countryside, such that the deaths continued long after being banished. The survivors of that time swore that the Akullus clan would suffer for their evil forever, training hunters to pursue every last withered stem and branch of that family tree.
With a hand glowing with the sacred sign of the Four-winged Eagle, a mysterious figure healed the son of the mayor of a remote little town. However, that mark is a sign of the deposed royal family, and with disturbing swiftness the new regime’s assassins descend upon the village chasing the rumor and leaving a trail of bodies unless someone intervenes.
They say that the Elbors are cursed by the sea, doomed to die if they come to close to the ocean. In truth there is no curse, but they do risk peril by approaching the Valtus Sea, where the locathah that they wronged centuries ago still lurks, an ancient undead being that watches them from afar, snatching them up when they come within reach of the sea.
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I wanted to write an update earlier this month, but I was waiting on a piece of news to report. It took most of the month, but now I can talk about it fully below.
April was exciting, May started out great, but little bits of panic and anxiety have set in. Nothing to fear, but damn, have I needed a couple wins recently.
Amazon is where most people find my books, so here’s a link to my catalogue: https://www.amazon.com/stores/Sadie-Thatcher/author/B00B4MINAC
Smashwords is a great place to buy books, especially if you don’t like Amazon’s evil empire. You can find them here: https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/sadiethatcher
Plus, you can find them at the Google Play bookstore: https://play.google.com/store/books/author?id=Sadie+Thatcher
I’ve added a new way you can get my books. It’s called Ream and it’s a bit like Patreon, but its author specific, made by authors for authors. I’m still working through a few kinks, but this is an opportunity to get all of my books at each month and a few bonuses. You can see my Ream page here: https://reamstories.com/page/lhssployqw
Additionally, my books are available through Apple, Barnes & Noble, Kobo, and Scribd. I don’t have links to those stores handy, but if that’s where you like to buy books from, my books will show up there, eventually. I distribute through Smashwords and have to wait until the review team there approves my books for distribution. This can take days or even a week.
Big News Alert
My next fantasy novel is here, written under the name Libby Feron. Rogue Elf is the second book in the Magic’s Most Wanted Series, continuing Tempest Ravifort’s saga. She’s a bounty hunter trying to keep the magical world a secret from the humans, and put her sister through college. Poor, but noble. The book is currently available for preorder and the release date is May 30. That’s next week! https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0C5ZTQFS3/
Plus, the cover is absolutely gorgeous.
If fantasy is your thing, take a look at all of my novels here: https://www.amazon.com/stores/Libby-Feron/author/B09PJ9J5RN
And if you sign up for the Libby Feron newsletter, you get exclusive content and updates like cover reveals before anyone else. I have a bonus prequel scene up for the Magic’s Most Wanted Series that will be exclusive to newsletter subscribers. You can sign up here: https://libbyferon.com/newsletter/
With the fantasy novel plug complete, let me also mention some of the cool stories I have coming out in the next month month.
I’ve got two more books in the Bimbo Records Series to release. Women trying to break into the music industry find success, but only after they bimbofy themselves for their manager.
I also have a series coming up that features women who feel left behind by society’s rising beauty standards and they will do anything to keep up. Even though they know images are airbrushed and altered before going online, they push past that and make their realities as good or better. There might be an addiction to social media likes involved as well. I haven’t decided yet.
And in the second half of June, I will be beginning a Bimbo Academy series. It could be a finishing school or someplace where wayward women are sent to be rehabilitated into happy bimbos. We will see where my muse takes me on that.
Finally, the days of Fake It Until You Make It being available on Amazon Kindle Vella are numbered. I have requested the story come down from Vella so that I may publish it in other forms, including turning it into an audiobook. I don’t expect anything to happen on this until about June 7, but this is your warning to download those episodes now so you can read them at your leisure. Now I just need to get my narrator working on the audio.
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Pro tip: if you have the financial means and situation*, look into collecting miles and points for travel through credit card sign ups. It will take an investment of time and energy to learn all the rules, collect the miles/points, and research the best redemption options, but you can go on some amazing trips for mind blowing prices.
Some of my past trips funded by miles, points, and sign-up bonuses:
First class flight on Japan Airlines from Tokyo to Los Angeles for 70K American Airline miles + $75 cash
5 nights at the Sheraton in Tokyo for $0.
Roundtrip flight from Los Angeles to Maui for 25K British Avios miles and ~$50.
4 nights at the Fairmount Kea Lani in Maui for $0.
4 nights at the Grand Hyatt Kauai for $0.
2 nights at the Park Hyatt Sydney for $0.
There’s a whole online community dedicated to this hobby. I started with The Points Guy, but there are tons of blogs and forums out there. (Here’s their beginner’s guide with more details.)
I started collecting miles and points in 2011 and I’m still doing it now. It’s allowed me to see more of the world than I ever thought possible.
*Disclaimer: collecting miles and points is not for everyone and assumes a certain level of financial means, such as having a good credit score, the ability to pay off your credit card bill in full each month, the ability to meet minimum spending requirements to earn sign up bonuses, and no plans for taking out a major loan within the next 6-12 months (i.e. applying for a mortgage). It’s also easier for those in certain countries such as the US where credit card signup bonuses are more common. And it’s easier if you work with a partner to pool/double your miles and points.
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Feel free not to answer this but I was wondering if I could ask you about your job. I’m thinking about becoming a nurse but I’m not sure it’s a good fit. Do you have any advice or recommend it? Thank you 💜
Oops! I wrote a wildly long answer! Hope it helps!
Let me know if you have more specific questions, but here are some general thoughts.
incoming like 1700 words okay
There are so many different ways to use a nursing degreel. Right now I’m a med surg bedside nurse in the hospital float pool, which means I don’t have an assigned floor and I go wherever is currently short staffed. Before that, I was a home health nurse where I could spend up to eight hours a night reading a book while a kid slept peacefully in the bed. I also worked in a different part of home health briefly (hated it, you have to be on the ball with scheduling but some nurses preferred it) where instead of doing full shift bedside care for one patient, I went to a bunch of different patients’ houses in one day, doing tasks like setting up their medication for the next month or doing wound care. All three of those jobs use the same basic skill set but are very different in practice.
Even within the hospital, a behavioral health nurse has a different night than an inpatient rehab nurse who has a different night than a short stay surgery nurse who has a different night from an ED nurse who has a different night than an ICU nurse who has a different night than a labor and delivery nurse who has a different night than a postpartum nurse. And that’s just night shift, which is what I work and doesn’t have nearly as many specialties working as are there during the day.
This answer--nursing is so broad, you can do anything!!--is true but not necessarily useful, so I’ll get more specific.
There are a few things that are important to me about nursing.
It is a job that contributes value to the world. Even if the American healthcare system was perfect, you would need caregivers like nurses. Even if the American healthcare system ceased to exist tomorrow, you would still need caregivers like nurses. Even on my shittiest nights, I can point to something I did that helped someone in some way. Not all jobs can say that.
I do good work and then I go home. This is more bedside nursing specific, but it’s important to me. I can’t take the work home with me. Emotionally, sure, I can do that, but physically, my patients stay at the hospital when I clock out. I have handed over the responsibility of them to another nurse, then I get to leave, and my free time is my own. I can always opt into more work of the administrative type, but I don’t have to.
It’s a good stable income. This will depend on where you live and your speciality, but in general, yeah. Easy to get hired, especially right now, hiring bonuses, overtime if you’re the type of person to pursue that (this is advice for later in your career if you start it, but I’d strongly strongly strongly advise limiting how many extra shifts you pick up while you’re still learning). Solid reliable income.
Those all come with some caveats. It’s a stable income, but it often plateaus at a mid level salary range unless you move up into a more administrative role (overgeneralizing this, but true often enough). You can be under a lot of pressure to pick up and stay late (16 hour shifts!) because staffing runs lean. You’ll rarely have all the help you need, especially on night shifts. I get called every single day I’m not working asking if I want to come in. Burnout is so so high right now, and often it seems like admin is like “well new nurses graduate every day so”. Some floors I’ve been on, the senior most nurse has 18 months experience. That’s bad, that’s stressful beyond belief when things are life and death.
It’s physically demanding work. A lot of bedside nurses leave bedside because they’ve hurt their backs moving patients. I know I’ve seriously tweaked some muscles, and the amount I’m on my feet is not great for my poor weak right ankle. There’s also other physical demands, i.e. helps to have a strong stomach. People will tell you CNAs (certified nursing assistants) or techs do all the incontinence care. They’re correct but also wrong because 1) who the fuck is staffed with CNAs, especially at night, and 2) okay you’ve got a CNA but they’re busy helping change another patient so are you just gonna let this person sit in their shit for 30 minutes? I do incontinence care about every night. There’s the other bodily fluids as well--blood, mucus, pus, Just Ambiguous Goop Hey Where’s That Coming From. Not to mention wound care, which can be gnarly. Like lift up a skin fold, find some maggots in necrotic flesh gnarly. And since so many wounds are on the tailbone and groin, incontinence care and wound care are often the same thing.
There’s also the emotional stuff. Maybe your patient is dying and just got told today. Maybe they’re dying and they’re comfort care and the whole family is in the room crying every time you go in. Maybe they’re going into withdrawal. Maybe they only speak taishanese and there’s no translators available. Maybe this is their first night in the hospital ever. Maybe this is their 180th night. Maybe they’re terrified of pain and they don’t trust you to help control it. Maybe they’re so mad that they’re in the hospital. Maybe they’re refusing to be discharged because they have nowhere safe to go. Maybe they’re confused and keep trying to stand up on two broken hips. Maybe they had a traumatic brain injury and won’t stop screaming for your entire 12 hour shift. Maybe they really want to tell you about society’s freeloaders. Maybe you walk into their room to answer a call light and they’re sobbing and also you’ve never met this person before. Maybe their husband died five minutes before you got on shift. Maybe they’ve sexually harrassed multiple caregivers and you aren’t allowed to be alone with them. Maybe they’re mean, and sure there might be nuance to that meanness, but goddamn are they an asshole and goddamn they are still your patient.
Maybe all that sounds bad to you, the physical and the emotional work. I don’t like wound care, so I’m not a wound and ostomy nurse (but I still do wound care). I like talking to my patients, so I’m not an ICU nurse (where the joke is that your patients can’t talk back. heard an ICU nurse darkly refer to their job as “watering crops”. Not work I’m interested in, but thank god some people are) (but I still take on very high acuity patients). I don’t like chaos and triage so I’m not an emergency room nurse (and yet? still chaos!). I like giving patients medications and warm blankets and whatever food they’re allowed to have, I like talking to them how their day went and what’s gonna happen tomorrow, I like checking in on them and finding them soundly asleep, so I’m a med surg night nurse who hates when I hate to wake people up for neuro checks.
(Med surg, by the way since I didn’t know either before I started nursing school, is medical-surgical nursing. According to the Academy of Medical-Surgical Nurses, med surg nurses “provide care to adults with a variety of medical issues or who are preparing for/recovering from surgery.” Isn’t that the most expansive category you’ve ever heard of? It’s the catch all of the hospital and, as I like to think as a med-surg nurse who actually likes med-surg nursing, the very heart of bedside nursing and should be respected far more than it is sometimes. But that’s a different rant.) (More respect for generalists!!)
Here’s a final thought: If you don’t like sick people, don’t go into nursing. Not everyone is kind and compassionate in the same way, but kindness and compassion should be the foundation of your work. Kindness, compassion, critical thinking, diligence. The role of a nurse is to be a patient advocate. Sometimes that can be advocating for the patient against what you think is the right thing for them to do. How can you protect the patient’s safety and autonomy? How can you help them be an active participant in their care? What do they want? How can you get that for them? This isn’t the same as “dilaudid and ice cream every 3 hours” (sometimes it can be!), but it can be encouraging them to go through with wound care even though it is so painful because otherwise it won’t heal, and it’s thinking about timing their pain meds to take effect in conjunction with the wound care, and it’s practicing the wound care steps with another nurse before you do it on a person so you don’t fuck it up (I. hate wound care yall). It’s being aware that the stakes are life and death, but also dignity and embarrassment, comfort and pain, hope and despair, autonomy and force. It’s an honor to care for people, but you have to be aware of the power you have in those circumstances and the ability you have to be neglectful or cruel. It’s hard to be overworked and underpaid and yelled at and bored and tired and at just another day at the sickness factory and still be thoughtful and kind. Every day at work, I have to push myself to be a version of myself that I like and I respect. Sometimes I don’t manage that, and it’s feels so much worse than when I had a lazy shift as a barista. But I like having a job that pushes me to try, and to have a job that matters if I do it well. Nursing forces me to be a version of myself that others can rely on, and I love that about the job. This is not a career for everyone, but I’ve found it tremendously rewarding, even as I’ve also found it incredibly frustrating.
If this intrigues you, maybe nursing! If it doesn’t, that’s fine. There’s lots of ways to help the world without burning yourself out.
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I feel the need to add to this.
my credentials: i'm a swiftie, went to the eras tour, saw 1989 on tour.
taylor swift isn't a feminist. she's a GREAT artist, my god. she's one of my favorite songwriters of all time, and will probably consistently stay in that little box of music i like. i have some of her albums on record, and i know the lyrics to almost all of her songs. i fucking cried when she played all too well, 10 min version live. i screamed to her discography oh the way to and back from her tour.
THAT BEING SAID
she is NOT a feminist. she is NOT an activist. she is a white, female capitalist who sees that she can make money off of feminism. she's blonde, thin, pretty, talented, and doesn't get too involved, which is perfect for being a celebrity in this country and she knows it. because of this, she has fucking nations tweeting at her, she has the fucking fbi using her lyrics in their social media posts, both fox news and cnn go feral for her glitz and glam and it's so hard for them to agree on something, but they both agree that she's cute with travis kelce.
however, she still needs to appeal to the feminists out there. women make up 52% of her fanbase, according to a US survey by the Morning Consult, and i guarantee at least one of the 52% of women are feminists. additionally, it's cool to be a feminist nowadays, it's profitable, and that's what her main priority, after all. Money. did i mention she's a capitalist?
so how does one profit off of feminism without ACTUALLY having to tackle hard topics such as the intersectionality of white supremacy and misogyny? additionally, how does she play the innocent card when she chose to date a known racist? Feminism. at least, her definition of it.
The definition of feminism, occurring to Oxford Dictionary, is as follows: "the advocacy of women's rights on the basis of the equality of the sexes". for this purpose, the sexes is referring to male, female, trans men, trans women, non-binary people, people who don't want to be labeled, etc. Essentially, it's equality between genders and also, biological sexes. Taylor swift probably knows this, however, her definition of feminism is more like: "something i can use to make money, or defend myself from getting attacked online."
taylor only uses feminism to further her agenda of making more money.
if she truly cared about feminism, we would have heard more from her. she's so influential, one tweet about gaza could ramp up support for the Palestinian people in a heartbeat. one post saying "i love making my coffee at home, #freePalestine" could put starbucks out of business. one story post, one tweet, out of THOUSANDS can do so much good. essentially, if she puts "i'm not touring until the us government provides adequate healthcare and housing to all of their citizens" on her story, the us government would get it done by the next day.
additionally, she uses the lgbtq community to her advantage. i'm queer, have been for my whole life. and i would like to point out that she didn't say anything about lgbtq rights until AFTER it was completely acceptable to, and now that homophobia is on the rise (so is racism and misogyny (wonder if that's connected (hmmmmm i wonder 🤔🤔🤔 (pls read the sarcasm)))) she says nothing. additionally, she doesn't fight for anything. at all. even if it's related to feminism. unless it's related to her.
she shared a public statement about roe v wade, made with michele obama, stating that she felt terrified about it being overturned. and to her, that's the peak of feminism.
this isn't negating the way she's changed lives. the bonuses she gave to her tour bus drivers are life changing. the donations to homeless shelters and places where people can get food for free are enough to fund MONTHS if not YEARS worth of meals. her charity to women's organizations is amazing. she uses her money for good, more than some of these other celebrities out here.
however, that being said, shes a capitalist, not a god.
i think we should do best to remember that.
ok top 5 least favorite parts of that article lol:
1. taylor sings on her tour even when she’s stressed!! (she did have to reschedule one night after a girl died bc of unsafe conditions. taylor was so sad 💔)
2. girls have been told that our natural feminine interests, like love and glitter, are silly. but if we monetize those things, then more “female art” gets made! #feminism
3. horcruxes, infinity stones, gandalf
4. i thought about bringing up the fact that taylor’s career never actually died or even suffered that greatly, but then i decided not to, because what matters is that she felt canceled
5. “female rage”
#ems rants#taylor swift#a critique of how feminism is used by taylor#i still will cry to her songs#and i'll still love her music#but she isn't a feminist#swifties pls read this#as a fellow swiftie myself
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Design Thoughts 🤔
I have this in progress game thing (that will not be finished any time soon so) that tries to synthesize elements of Forged in the Dark, Belonging Outside Belonging/No Dice No Masters, and Apocalypse Keys into one thing.
So I love setting elements as a piece of tech from BoB stuff, but I always find it a little tricky to use them in play. In the sense that they're another level of layer to keep in mind while also keeping in mind everything else about the game! The upcoming game Brinkwood: Refuge handles this in a very cool way (but its also not out yet so I don't want to talk too much about it) and Wanderhome's Natures and Traits also are really good, and feel nice to use (so nice that they hugely inspired the world elements in Extracausal: Monolith). So Step One of this game-design-idea is how can I make something using setting elements that really clicks for me?
Forged in the Dark is one of my favorite "design engines" in general. I love position/effect, actions, rolling a bunch of d6s, consequences/resistance, factions, I could go on and on. There are a lot of very fun levers to pull once you dig into FitD design. I also wildly prefer the Action system compared to a Skill list system. It provides enough structure that players aren't floundering on what to do at a given moment, but not so restrictive or overwhelming that some skill list stuff can turn into. But one thing I always forget to do (both as a player and GM) is utilize Devil's Bargains to their full extent! So Step Two is working on a way to make Devil's Bargains more consistent.
Apocalypse Keys rules (full disclosure, I worked on system development and also contributed a mystery and in progress playbook). One of my favorite part (which is also present in the game Librete!) is how instead of stats, you have a shifting pool of tokens (similar to BoB styles) that you can spend to get bonuses to your 2d6 roll. There are specific triggers that naturally come up in play for each playbook that get you more tokens, and then you can't hoard them because if you get too many tokens at a time, there are Consequences. It creates a very satisfying loop for your characters! So Step Three is how can I emulate this token-loop?
What I've got so far;
To enact a Devil's Bargain you must play a Setting Element. Devil's Bargains are traditionally meant to inject complications into the scene, and often times, so can Setting Elements. Feels appropriate to link them here. This also gives a clear mechanical moment for when a setting element is brought into play (which for me, is really the tricky part in existing games).
You have no stats/attributes that numerically define how many dice you roll at a given time, instead you must spend tokens 1:1 to gain d6. By limiting how many dice you might have access to in a given moment, Devil's Bargains become even more appealing! Rolling dice is good, and so is injecting new complications.
Each playbook has a set of conditions that when met, net you more tokens. This is basically the same format as Apocalypse Keys.
What is still kind of nebulous;
What happens when you gain too many tokens?
Is the loop of "determine if tokens are gained -> spend tokens -> get dice -> roll dice" too clunky? Will probably need to do some actual playtesting to figure this bit out. On paper, its not too distant from the typical FitD "conversation" involving position/effect, but I also want to include position/effect on top of everything else.
Basically everything else about the game lmao.
We'll see how everything starts to shape up in the next few months. This is very much something I'm just poking at here and there, since I have some other projects that take precedence and I would like to get done first.
Anyways, thoughts? Recs for things you think I should look at? What's up?
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Like a fairy tale
Yandere!Diluc x maid!fem!reader
Wordcount: 1921
CW: Yandere and slightly suggestive themes.
You loved reading fairy tales as a child - they were magical and hopeful, a needed retreat for a child of destitute parents. They were a promise that if you were good and kind and beautiful enough, eventually some faraway prince would come by and save you from poverty. And you tried to be good - you were obedient and hardworking and you pushed your hardest in the local school, yet hardship and scarcity still trailed your every step - the meager earnings your parents made weren't enough to buy you nice clothes or let you eat until you were sated, which in turn made social interactions harder: some kids sneered and humiliated you, some tried to help you out of pity. You disliked both groups: whether they were friendly or aggressive towards you, they still looked down on you.
Thus you decided to distance yourself from your peers - there was no knight in shining armour galloping towards you on a snow white steed, yet a good education could be your golden ticket to a better rich life. It was hard at first - to work and to study and to help your parents all while ignoring the demeaning and insulting comments the bullies made, but you gritted your teeth and pushed forward, imagining how wealthy you’ll become in the future and in the end our efforts were rewarded - you graduated as the best student, that led you to receiving a scholarship from Sumeru academy. Sparks and shine appeared in your eyes as you read the letter, barely stopping yourself from outright squealing and jumping from joy.
The moment of happiness didn’t last long though, as a reality again reminded you that there’s no place for fairy tales in the real world - scholarship covered the full cost of apprenticeship, but only it - you still had to spend money on the journey from Mondstadt to Sumeru, a place to rent and food, and if you still could find a job after your arrival in the foreign country and pay off the later two, trip required mora that you never had. At first you had a mad idea to traverse Teyvat on your own two feet - it would be a slow and arduous process, but cheap nonetheless. You later gave up on this plan - archons didn’t give you any vision, nor did you have fighting and travelling experience to aid you on the trail that no doubt would be full of slimes, hilichurls and other dangerous monsters.
And that’s how you started job hunting - you took on any work that promised you a hefty pay, be it some boring reports for guild of adventurers or an exciting yet risky endeavor of getting information for an extravagant cavalry captain, which then led you to Dawn Winery. Head housemaid, Adelinde, posted a job opening for a maid, and the prospect of a stable salary, free food and comfortable bed was enough to lure you in there - two or three years ago the previous owner of the winery died in the accident and his successor left Mond for some reason, leaving the maintenance and management of the winery on the shoulders of the said housemaid.
After a quick interview, the head maid demanded you to show her your cleaning skills, which you effortlessly did, having to look after the house by yourself all your childhood. It seems she was satisfied, as she nodded to you and asked to follow her as she led you to your room. Compared to the other two maids here, Hillie and Moco, who preferred to spend their work time in idle chat, you came off as highly professional and diligent worker. This contrast raised both your position and salary in the winery, as Adelinde started to entrust you with tasks more interesting than simple sweeping and cleaning.
You were outside the winery the day you met Diluc - returning from the city and carrying several stacks of milk and wheat you got chased by the hilichurls. Monsters didn’t leave you, no matter how long and how far you ran. You were ready to drop all the goods and have Adelinde to scold you for wastefulness and dereliction when Ragnvindr appeared and stole a breath from you. He looked just like the prince from your childhood tales, impossibly pretty and strong, arriving just when the creatures caught up with you and then defeating all of them with a single slash of great claymore. And just like a fairytale prince he helped you to get up and collect the scattered baggage and asked if you were okay. Then you two headed for the winery, you didn't know that he was it's owner at the time, chatting and thanking him, as he carried purchases. Adelinde almost fainted when she saw the return of the prodigal master in your company. After hastily taking goods from his hands, she made you apologize for rudeness and insubordination, but Diluc interrupted you saying it was fine.
Ragnvindr heir returned back to the winery and life went on its own, except the unreadable glares Diluc started to send you when you both were in the same room. It started off small: the quick glances that soon grew into intense staring. With his impassive stone face it was impossible to tell why he was glaring at you so much, so you acted as polite and professional as you could in his vicinity - after all you didn’t want to get fired and look for a new job. The key to this riddle presented itself during one day.
It was a bleak windy morning when Adelinde sent you to the city again, and as you walked the sky darkened and rain started. You returned absolutely soaked and shivering, teeth chattering and limbs slightly numb from cold and when Diluc saw you he ordered you to change in a low commanding voice. Frightened by the possible dismissal, you hurried putting on the uniform. Because of the haste you pulled it too tightly, hiking up a maid dress a little. It wasn’t up enough to reveal your hips or thighs, showing just a portion of knees that was usually hidden by the wide skirt.
Diluc’s eyes were glued on the uncovered joints, a subtle blush appearing on his pale cheeks. You continued to work, feeling how he consumed your legs with his eyes alone. He is lusting after me. You didn't know what to do with that revelation back then, embarrassed and slightly scared of attracting master Diluc's attention.
Nonetheless, an answer quickly came on the next day as you found a bonus to your salary, so big that it could be considered a payment for the next month. Diluc, despite his usually impassive face, seemed to be ashamed of the thoughts he had yesterday, with the body language telling you of his true feelings.
A plan came to mind. You hated yourself for it at first - it was low and disgraceful, you felt like a stereotypical manipulative gold digger, yet still decided to realize it in life - you needed mora, as fast and as much as possible. Over the time you spent working at the Dawn winery you noticed that Diluc, despite his obviously high intelligence, wasn't really good at judging one’s character, so he fell for your scheme pretty easily. Design you had in mind was pretty simple - to stir him up with small, innocuous gestures and changes that would slip past the outsider’s eyes.
Sometimes you applied a thin layer of healing lip balm on your lips, that so conveniently happened shine and glitter under the light, sometimes you donned your dress a little bit higher, opening the view of two delicate knees and sometimes after cleaning and working all day you felt so hot that you had to unfasten one or two buttons to cool off. Diluc, despite not showing it on his face, was obviously distracted and aroused, hands clenched into fists and a shaky, barely controlled exhale escaping his nose.
He started to pile you with bonuses and prizes; “for a well done job”, he said one time, averting his gaze and masking the shame in his voice under a huff. He also started to request you to specifically clean the rooms he occupied, his eyes sizing up almost every inch of your body. You felt how the lust and desire radiated off him, how his hands itched to trace your skin and have you at his mercy, yet he stopped every time with his steel strong control and self-discipline. You sensed how it dwindled little by little.
Diluc, in some perverted sense, was that fair prince of your childhood daydreams that would save you from poverty.
You almost had saved up the needed amount of money when you noticed the loss of your most cherished possession - an invitation to the Sumeru academy and scholarship certificate. With heart booming in your chest you started to look for it in the whole winery, without giving out that you were searching for something. It seems that you were unsuccessful in your attempts, as master of the winery soon called you into the office.
Here, he was sitting behind the desk with a familiar paper in his hand - your eyes widened as you saw it and you had an urge to run up to him and snatch the invitation from him. You performed a curtsy instead, closing the door behind you and waiting for him to speak, eyes still on the sheet in Diluc’s hold.
“[First], you are a diligent and skillful employee, Adelinde has a very high opinion of you” he started from afar, a slight rosy blush dusting his cheeks at "skillful employee".
"So as your employer I wouldn't want any harm to befall on your person, and" he shaked the invitation a couple of times, "it came to my attention that you were planning on travelling to Sumeru. I advise you against this nonsensical idea".
You gritted teeth, careful not to insult him with the couple of barbed words at the tip of your tongue. Nonsensical idea? This was your goal, a main reason why you worked so much and allowed yourself so little.
“I am sorry, master Diluc, I am afraid I can’t abandon this idea”, you say, response flat and controlled, a thunderstorm of emotions hidden beneath the faux calm, “It is my goal, and the main reason why I work here”. So I can have a bright and secure future, in which I won’t have to worry about the tomorrow ever again.
“I also learned that you were born into a low income family and you had to struggle in your life because of that ” a sudden mention of your less than glorious origin makes your face burn from the shame you thought you buried a long time ago. You are stunned, so he continues: “I believe this little endeavor of yours is also motivated by your desire for a stable future. Drop it, I travelled all across the Teyvat and there are horrors that can easily destroy you both in body and spirit”.
He stands up from the desk, and gets closer to you: “I can look after and provide for you, just stay there and you won’t have to worry about the future again ”. His hold on the paper gets tighter, pyro vision shining with a dangerous glint. A faint smell of smoke spreads through the room - a warning if you remain stubborn and unyielding.
Who could have known that the fair prince was a greedy dragon all along?
#yandere genshin impact#Yandere genshin#yandere diluc x reader#Yandere diluc#Yandere genshin impact x reader#Yandere genshin x reader#Yandere#Diluc#Yandere x reader#my writing
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oh yeah so here’s what happened
i ended up getting an offer for a position i interviewed for. i was really surprised because they didn’t get back to me right after they talked to my references. maybe i was their second choice, idk. anyway, i was pleased. i made the unfortunate mistake of telling them i’d get back to them right away, within the next day. but the next day my own firm told me that if i stayed, they’d be supportive of me moving next year to work remotely in another state. they approved my august vacation. they matched the salary offer (which is gonna come to like idk $50 a month after tax it’s nothing lol) and they said they understood they had to do more to incentivize people so they were changing the messaging around remote work to be more flexible, planning on bonuses in september, and bringing on new people to help with our workload as soon as possible. of course, the biggest thing to me was agreeing to let me move next year. i hadn’t thought they’d agree, but i gave them a chance anyway, and they did.
so that made my current job very attractive to me... i could stay with the same team and all the same clients and not have to deal with the stress of a transition in the middle of my field’s busy season, and i’d achieve a long-term goal. it was six of one and half a dozen of the other financially. but i was seriously considering the other job because it offered full-time remote work with all the challenges and rewards that brings, and it was exciting - something new, possibly unforeseen opportunities. the two partners are really interesting, too, and i was intrigued by the chance to become friends with them. i couldn’t choose, i wanted to talk it out, so i made the other unfortunate mistake of telling them that i was still considering the pros and cons of accepting their offer or staying with my firm and needed a little more time. they got mad and rescinded their offer. i said i understood (and to a degree i do, they need someone and can’t wait indefinitely for a candidate to make up their mind), apologized for giving them the wrong impression and offending them, and explained that i had truly taken their offer seriously (we work in the same field so i felt really bad about burning a bridge) and they didn’t reply lol. i was relieved the decision had been made for me but also felt like a major coward for not making it myself but was also excited about the fact that i really can move next year and not worry about jobs but i was also terrified that the other people would be so mad that they’d trash my reputation in the community or even hold it against my firm as a whole or the person who’d served as a reference for me. i told the reference what happened (while sobbing the entire time) and she wasn’t mad, she told me i’d made a rookie mistake and made them think i was just playing games when i really wasn’t, that quite frankly i was probably never going to get some nice email back accepting my apology, but that it probably wasn’t going to haunt me forever and i calmed down a great deal.
also yesterday i was talking to a coworker about it and she said that if these people really do hold a grudge and go around talking badly about me or saying that our firm is shady or s/t it says more about them than it does about me and that’s a fair point and i felt way better. i’m now really glad i didn’t take it and feel really excited to move forward. i’m off the job search, at least for the next few months, because i’m too busy and can’t deal with making a transition now. i even, out of politeness, called off another interview i was going to do on thursday because i knew i couldn’t start this summer. if i do move next year and do my job remotely from oregon, my firm is going to ask me to make a one-year commitment and i would be willing to agree. i’m open to finding something in oregon but also think it would be a good idea to have a stable job when i go and to make a slow transition. i spoke to everyone who practices in my field in oregon and they really need more people so i’ll connect with them again and see if i can make a transition by assisting them with a few cases here and there.
the big thing will really be to just figure out where to go, specifically. the portland area is where a lot of the jobs are and it’s easier transportation-wise, but i want to be somewhere quieter and i want to be closer to california so i can vacation there whenever i want. i talked to someone who’s in bend the other day and she said i should really consider going to central oregon and i really will, i’m just concerned about not being able to find a place to live lol. and i don’t want to be too remote, at least not yet, as i need to be able to visit with family. but it’s still a year away so i’ll look into it and keep thinking about it. my family is now totally supportive of me wanting to move and so are my coworkers and that’s really nice. i genuinely feel really lucky. i’ve been through a lot emotionally over the past week (i’ve cried more than i have in the past 12 months lol) but things are really looking up.
i have so much to tell the 5 of you who care lol
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reminder i'm sage i used to be notplanningshit until i accidentally deleted my blog so now im reposting my works!
info: quackity x reader, gn!reader, hurt/comfort, no warnings
on frizzy hair and the pursuit of perfection
Intellectually, in the rational side of your brain, you know that what you’re feeling is stupid.
You see the Instagram posts talking about the importance of self-affirmation and mental health. You see the tweets saying that people are more than their family’s perception of them. You realize that having a condescending and judgmental family is almost a right of passage for your generation.
These are all things you know, intellectually. But knowing something intellectually does jack shit for actually convincing your heart of whatever you know. You can yell at yourself all you want, but it’s clearly not your rational brain making you tear up at yet another text from your dad that was along the lines of “cool, could be better, though.”
You just want someone, just once, to celebrate an achievement with you. You want to be excited to share something with someone, without fear of them scoffing in the face of your pride and excitement. In your family- hell, in the world, certainly- someone has always done better, and you’re damn sure to be reminded of such.
It’s been years of this same behavior, ever since you can remember. It’s not just your dad, either, it’s your whole family- aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins. The whole town you grew up in had this haughty, arrogant air about it, where everyone was constantly competing, even if there was no reason for it. Take the hardest classes, get the least sleep, get the biggest scholarship. Even your friends would flex their better test scores at you, and refuse to help you with the homework, in case you somehow got a better score on a test than them. You know it’s how they were raised, they’re just a product of their environment and don’t know how bad it hurts, but it still stung then, and probably always will. You’re still in contact with a few of them, and it’s just more of the same whenever you exchange a handful of quick texts every couple months.
You know you should stop giving information about your achievements to them, but when your dad texts and asks how you are, there’s not much you can reply with other than “good, got a promotion at work!” From there, it’s a slippery slope of him asking what new benefits you got, and then the judgmental few moments where the gray dots disappear and reappear while he tries to compose his thoughts about your inadequacy in the least-abrasive way a middle-aged man can. That is to say, not un-abrasively at all. In fact, his words are often delivered with the finesse of low-grit sandpaper on soft wood.
Well, could be more. Work harder and maybe you’ll get an increase next month. I got a lot of bonuses at work when I was your age. All you have to do is take the bad shifts and get some good customer reviews. You’ll get there.
You stare at the fresh new message on your phone screen before clicking it off with a bone-deep sigh, your eyes betraying your rational side by, again, tearing up. You shove the heels of your hands into your eyes and rub until the tears are forced away and you see spots.
That’s how Alex finds you, sat on the foot of your shared bed with your hands rubbing fiercely at your eyes. He’s probably just come to grab a hoodie- the setting sun brings with it a cool breeze that washes through your open windows and cools the house from the warmth it’d gathered from the day’s sun.
“You good?” He asks, opening his closet door and pulling out a hoodie. He wrestles it on over his head as he waits for your response- when he pushes his head out the other end, hair mussed and static-y, you still haven’t answered. “Baby?”
He comes and sits down next to you. Your eyes, red-rimmed but still dry, track his movements before flicking to catalog every tuft of disheveled hair protruding from his head. With a superficial smile, you reach up to smooth his long, black locks back and down into place. It doesn’t matter; he’s going to slip on a beanie sooner or later, but for now, you distract yourself by combing gentle fingers through the soft strands.
“Not that I don’t appreciate this,” Alex murmurs, brown eyes searching your face for an answer to what has you upset. “But what’s wrong?”
“Just my dad,” you whisper, not trusting your voice not to crack. You avoid his gaze, keeping your eyes fixed stubbornly on his hair as you finish your work. “There. You looked like a hedgehog.”
He huffs a little laugh, but scoots closer to you and grabs a hand out of your lap- you’d curled your hands into tight fists, your nails digging little red crescents into your palm. He uncurls the hand he’s holding and reaches for the other, but you save him the work by instead grabbing onto your own thigh tightly, redirecting the frustration. He rubs small circles into the aching skin of your other palm while he waits for you to gather yourself and explain, now that the ice has been broken on the topic.
“He always acts like whatever I do is just not quite good enough for him. They all do- him, my mom, even my fucking friends.” You rub your free hand down your face, trying to alleviate some tension. It does not work. “I don’t know why I’m still upset. They’ve been doing it forever.”
“That’s probably why you’re still upset. You hope they’d grown up enough to stop doing that.” Alex presses his thumb into the center of your palm. It grounds you, and you swallow around the lump in your throat.
“It’s not even a matter of immaturity- it’s not as simple as a pissing contest. It’s just who they are. They don’t think perfection exists, but they want me to achieve it anyways.”
“I’m sorry, sweetheart. That sounds exhausting.”
He sounds so sincere, so genuine, like the idea of you being treated this way is deeply upsetting to him. You’d never really… experienced that. Someone recognizing your struggle, and admitting that it must fucking suck is something you’d never been graced with.
His brow is furrowed in a display of concern, eyes gentle and searching. He’s not lying, he means what he said, and he’s not going to follow it up with a “but-,”.
Eyes beginning to sting again, you lean forward until you’re resting your forehead on his shoulder. The soft fabric of his hoodie immediately calms you, along with the warmth you can feel emanating from him. It makes sense, after all, that the personification of pure sunshine would have such warmth about them.
Alex scoots forward, gathering you more closely in his arms, his legs awkwardly folded so that you can sit right in front of him. His hands come up to hold you, one fisting in the fabric of your sweatshirt, and the other resting on the back of your neck, gentle, but firm. You let out a shuddering breath, squeezing your eyes shut tightly. Not going to cry.
“I got a promotion at work,” you mutter, taking a long, deep breath. You brace yourself, waiting for a dismissive response. “That’s what set my dad off- I got- he-.”
Your voice cracks, and you trail off with a small sigh, clutching at Alex’s hoodie even tighter. It’s thick and soft under your fingers, and you knead at it like a cat.
“A promotion?! Baby, that’s amazing!” Alex pulls back just enough to take a glance at you, his own expression steeling from excitement back to sadness as he sees that you are still fighting back tears. “Sweetheart, I think you’re the only person to ever cry after getting a promotion.”
A little laugh escapes your chest, huffy and wet, but still a laugh. Alex’s lips curl into a smile as he reaches up to smooth back some of your stray hairs, like you’d done for him a moment or two ago. You smile, reaching up to intercept his hand, and lace the two of you’s fingers together.
He squeezes your hand where it’s resting in his grip, looking at your linked fingers briefly. “Also, your family is wrong.”
“About what specifically?” You huff, wiping at your eyes for hopefully the final time.
“About perfection not existing. It does, and I know exactly what it looks like.” Despite the serious words, Alex is fighting back a smile. You narrow your eyes at him, already anticipating the next thing he’s going to say. “It looks like you, dumbass.”
You groan, feeling a hot blush rise to your cheeks immediately. You tip forward to bury yourself in Alex’s neck, this time hiding your flustered face and stupidly happy grin.
“I can feel your smile against my neck, you know.”
“Oh, fuck off-.”
With the hand that’s on the back of your neck, Alex coaxes you out of hiding just to press a kiss to your forehead. “Really. I am proud of you. I don’t want you to be afraid to tell me about your achievements because of what your family has done to you.”
“Okay,” you whisper again, voice thick with emotion. “Thank you.”
He hums in response, tilting his head and looking at you with what can only be described as pure fondness in his eyes. Then, he leans down to meet you for a delicate kiss, and your eyes finally stop stinging.
#sage vs quackity#quackity#quackity imagine#quackity x reader#quackity headcanon#quackity fanfiction#quackity x you#quackity x y/n#mcyt#mcyt x reader#mcyt imagine#mcyt fanfiction#mcyt headcanons#alex quackity#quackity hurt/comfort#hurt/comfort
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no pressure but I'd love to hear about these oppressive omegaverse dystopia ideas if you wanted to share!
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well dont leave us in suspense. whats the new oppressive a/b/o universe now
I was thinking of an A/B/O universe where there's a prolonged conflict (either with another country or aliens or something), plus there are demographic challenges (that the 'developed world' will eventually face everywhere) which is not a good combo, cause war feeds on human flesh.
There would be a large Population Optimization Program (POP), under this the following legislation would be put forward:
Abortion ban
Contraceptive ban
Α PAPA (alpha paternal payments - large tax credits based on offspring number in or out of mating bonds - or heck, maybe also some cash bonuses?)
Ω MAMA (Omega Mandatory Mating - a huge step back for omega rights, all omegas who are not mated by age 21 would be paired up with alphas, plus any widowed omegas would also be mated again if they are still fertile)
Ω DOLL program (Omega Debt Optimization and Loan Leniency) that makes it possible for families with a lot of debt to get all of it forgiven in exchange for giving up an unmated omega child to the state who would then go to State R&R centers (meaning Recreation and Reproduction here) where omegas who are dependents of the state 'work'
(can you tell how much I love all those acronyms and shit the US uses, lol)
Omegas are accepted in R&R centers from age 14 and up, here they are intensely bred and worked as prostitutes - referred to as Private Entertainment Technicians in polite society - aka PETs (mainly aiming services at the military and law enforcement).
The breeding program starts with health screening and an artificially induced heat that guarantees pregnancy within a day or two. Omegas are pregnant for 8 months (thanks to medical advancements, this doesn't pose much of a risk, and a lot of times they are carrying multiples that usually can't be carried to term anyway) During pregnancy they are working as PETs, they can be rented for 200/hour, tho military/law enforcement get a 50% discount, and they make up almost all customers. They are working at most 10 hours a day.
After the 8 months is up, labor is induced. After birth, there's one month of breastfeeding and recovery, then the babies are separated and placed into nurseries. The next month is continued recovery and fertility treatments that significantly raise the chance of conceiving multiples, to the point where the program averages 1.8 children per birth.
Then the 10 month cycle starts again.
Since they are giving birth roughly every 10 months, omegas are expected to give birth about 40 times during their fertile period, having between 60 to 100 babies.
Omegas in the program would be earning income after every child and also incur expenses (they would be charged for everything; medical expenses, accommodation, nutrition, overhead costs etc), which would leave them with around 20k earned at the end of a 10 month cycle, 90% of which would go towards the debts they are working off. 10% of their earnings would be saved for when they leave the program.
(of course, young omegas would be making a lot more, but their earnings would drop off - even into the negative - as they age and have less customers, so the above is the average)
That would leave omegas aging out of the program (usually mid fifties) with 80k total for the rest of their lives.
Babies born in the program (known as POP babies) would be kept in in-house nurseries where omegas not currently entertaining would be taking care of them until they are potty trained. Then they would go into state foster care. They would receive general education until age 12 when they would be tested for their dynamics. Omegas (and any betas not fit enough for the military) would be adopted out to families. Alphas and betas would be moved to military boarding schools. Here they would get general training until age 16. At that age, betas would be enlisted for a mandatory 25 years, Alphas would take competency tests, the lower 50% would be enlisted, the top would receive specialized training. After another two years there's another test with the lower 50% enlisted - in higher positions - and the rest would go on to higher education/the academy. Only these - the best 25% of Alphas - would be allowed to decide if they want to enlist or not (they usually do, but some of them go into politics).
And there you have it, a whole dystopia!
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Worth Waiting For
Uhh, okay, this is my first ever fanfic! I might continue it based on the reception, but it was a few thoughts I had in my head that I wanted down on paper.
18+! Some sexual themes and content throughout, however for those experienced smut readers, this is some mild sauce, not very much spice.
I have to credit @cyancherub for making me think about Kiri smelling like cinnamon, the thought hasn’t left my brain.
Kirishima x Fem!reader
A cool breeze whispers through the slightly ajar window of your dorm room. The sun set a little while ago; studying always seems to eat up most of your free time, so this wasn’t exactly a surprise. You lean back in your desk chair, arms up, and stretch your muscles into a big yawn. The sudden contracting muscles have your stomach gurgling. It’s definitely time to take a break, so you close your textbook and stand up from your desk. I wonder if there’s any of those expensive sounding potato chips that Momo bought back from her trip abroad left over? The thought makes you salivate as you begin towards your door. You glance to the mirror in the corner and look at your own reflection: hair pulled into a loose, messy bun, torso swallowed up by an old band shirt Denki gave you (after a conversation initiated by Mineta on what you liked to wear to bed) and bare legs sticking out from the hem. Shouldn’t be a problem, as long as Iida isn’t feeling like a stick in the mud this evening. You open your door and begin creeping your way to the kitchen, hoping to keep noise levels to a minimum as to not disturb anyone who might be sleeping already.
Your ears perk up when you hear conversation coming from the communal area.
“On a scale from 1-10, with ten being the most boring, you have exceeded my expectations and we’ve hit an 11.”
“Shut up dude, it’s an absolute cinematic masterpiece. This is why you don’t have the remote- we’d be watching Care Bears or some shit.”
You approach the seating area to see Bakugou, Kirishima, Sero and Denki. The latter two arguing over what to watch. Bakugou looks like he’s about to blow a fuse, so Kirishima chimes in,
“Hahah, okay guys, why don’t we just watch a horror movie, like Scream or something? It’s an easy watch.”
“Sounds like a good idea as long as Kaminari doesn’t shit himself.” Sero tries to start again, but this is perfect timing for you to interject.
“Sero, I’m sorry, last time I checked, you’re the one who had to ‘leave suddenly’ when we watched Halloween.” A smirk appears on your face from ear to ear as all four boys turn their head your direction. You notice an empty spot next to Kiri and take the opportunity to sit, careful not to flash anyone.
“Hey Y/N don’t be startin’ on me. I have plenty of stories about you that we could share you know? What about the Jaegerbomb incident?” Sero matched your grin, and you feign shock by slapping your hand to your heart.
“You’re breaking my heart, Hanta. Are you the only ones up?”
“Yeah Iida sort of ‘encouraged’ everyone to go to bed early because of the test tomorrow, but” Denki motions in Bakugou’s direction “the angry Pomeranian barked and he gave up with us.” Bakugou snaps his head up from his phone to stare Denki down, but realizing he’s just proving his point, sighs and goes back to scrolling on his phone.
“You okay Baku-babe?” he grunts and flips you off, but you could see the corner of his lip turn up in a weak smile at the affectionate nickname. You knew he meant well, especially after the time you had spent together over the last summer with the guys; he just had a defensive temperament.
“You wanna join us, y/n?” Kiri propositions with a wide grin. His hair was still styled into sharp points from classes today, contrasting with his relaxed clothing choice of a t-shirt, shorts and crocs. He’d also made the addition of a white bandana around his forehead. As usual, he was looking incredible.
After the time spent together as a group over the break, it was great to get to know everyone better. As Sero’s oldest friend, it was always easier to stick by him, which had ended up in your favour by meeting these clowns. You’d slowly got closer to the other three boys too, but there was something about Kirishima you couldn’t shake.
The way you felt when you were left together alone in the same room at a party, or when the other guys ended up flaking so you spent the night together at his place, there was always a feeling of excitement, in more ways than one.
You’ve never been very good at flirting and you just seem to come across as an anxious mess, but Kiri was pretty much just as bad. Meaning neither of you ever made a move. Just awkward giggles and eye contact that lasted just a little bit too long for friends.
“I actually came to steal some of Momo’s fancy chips but yeah, let me get a snack and I’ll be ready. You guys want anything?” You get up off the couch and start your way to the kitchen.
“BEER. BEER. BEER.” Denki chants, making you giggle.
“Oh I’ll come and help you carry them!” Kiri jumps up to follow behind you. You can hear Sero make a ‘wha-PISH’ whipping sound which makes Denki burst out with laughter. In their defense, it was painfully obvious you were both pining for each other.
The kitchen isn’t far but it is out of earshot of the sitting area. You open the cupboard in the corner to find Momo’s chip bag, left sat there completely empty. “Oh come ON” you sigh, picking up the bag and placing it in the trash.
“No chips left? Don’t worry I got you covered.” Kiri stretches to the gap between the top of the cupboard and the ceiling, feeling about with his hand. Your eyes fixate on the skin that is now showing just above the waistband of his shorts. You slowly move your view up the side of his torso, his shirt draping over his body in all the right places, and then to his face, one eye closed and tongue sticking out in concentration. He totally caught you checking him out and now you’re both stood there blushing like idiots. He finally located the bag he was looking for and brings his hands back down, showing off the slightly dusty bag of unopened chips.
“These are your favourites, right?” You stand in bewilderment looking at the bag and nod. “There are many bonuses to being one of the tallest in this dorm” he grins. He even remembered your favourite chips? You can’t help but smile back.
“Thank you so much. Oh let me get the beers!” you walk over to the fridge and open it up, bending over to search for the well hidden cans. You know your ass is on show, and you’re doing everything you can to make it the best view. Arching your back slightly, barely moving your hips from side to side, putting on a full show without being too obvious. “Ah I found them!” You gather them into your arms, the cold metal against your skin sending shivers up your spine and making your nipples protrude from the thin material of your shirt. You stand back up and close the fridge, turning around to a very red in the face Kirishima. You send a sweet smile his way.
“Do you mind taking a couple they’re coldddd” you whine. He composes himself and grabs the first can he can see looking ready to fall. He then proceeds to take another, slowly exposing more of your chest and your hardened nipples. You notice his eyes dart to them and then back on the beers. Are you two really going to carry on like this? Acting like the sexual tension couldn’t be cut with a knife? His wandering eyes now have you blushing and you’re quick to fill the hanging silence. “Should we really be drinking when we have a test tomorrow? I’m no NARC but you know what Denki can get like. He’ll wake up the whole house.”
“It’ll be fine. The only ones that know where the rest of the stash is are you and me. As long as you can keep a secret, we’re Gucci” he winks.
“Did you… really just use the term ‘Gucci’? like completely unironically?” You laugh, nudging his side.
“Shut upppp y/n. Come on let’s get back to them before Bakugo kills Dumb and Dumber.”
“Hoes and bros we come bearing beverages!” You walk in and pass out the three beers you held to the boys, Kiri slowly following with the chips and the last two drinks.
“Wait, who are the hoes?..... oh.” Kaminari has a moment of self-realization and stares at the beer in his hand.
“Denki don’t listen to her, she is the last one to be calling anyone a hoe” Sero hits you with another of what will be many insults of the night.
“Uhhhh says the guys who has a body count tally on his wall. If you ever get with Mina you’re going to need to take a trip to Home Depot to paint over those you know?” You counter.
“Can we watch the damn film already?! Could’ve watched half the fucking thing by now.” Bakugou finally lets off some of the pent up steam. Both you and Denki lift your arms up to your forehead in a salute. “Yes sir!”
Grabbing a blanket, you and Kiri get back into your original seats next to each other on the sofa furthest away from the TV. Sero is on the chair to Kiri’s right, sprawled over it in the most boyish way possible, legs stretched wide and arms hanging over the back. Denki and Bakugo share the sofa to your left, Bakugou reserved to the spot at the very end, finally turning his phone off, while Denki almost mimics Sero’s positioning, but one hand is wrapped around his beer chugging it a bit too fast. Sero presses play as you sit back into the sofa. Kiri’s arm is already draped over the back of the headrest, and it’s only a matter of time until his arm drapes around your shoulder and you lean into him.
You’re about ten minutes into the movie when he starts to move his fingers in little circles on your upper arm. If anyone saw you right now, they’d assume you two were together. The months you’ve both spent flirting and teasing, the light touches and the lingering cuddles. This is becoming unbearable for you, its overwhelming. How haven’t you kissed yet? You weren’t really a ‘hoe’ as Sero said, but you certainly weren’t inexperienced and have never had this trouble before, so what was stopping you now? If things continued like this, you were going to explode.
You look up at Kiri, admiring the contours of his face against the light of the TV. The way his eyebrows slightly furrow, and the way he’s chewing his bottom lip between his teeth in concentration. You inhale the mild aroma of cinnamon, which is a scent that follows him around everywhere. You’re certain he’s aware you are staring, by the light blush reforming on his cheeks, but he allows you to for just a little longer. Right up until Denki yelps aloud from a minor jump scare in the film, causing you to jolt yourself and grab onto Kiri’s shirt.
“Don’t tell me you’re scared?” he asks, voice low and husky. “Don’t worry, I got you.” He lifts his free arm and tucks a loose strand of hair behind your ear.
“I-I wasn’t scared. Denki made me jump” you pout.
“Aww, even worse haha” he chuckles, the vibrations flow through your body, straight to your core, making you instantly wet. If he ever really knew the affect he had, you might just die from embarrassment. You release his shirt and return your head to his shoulder; however, his hand has maneuvered itself away from your upper arm and is now placed on your hip. The large amount of warmth is slowly followed by a very light squeeze of reassurance, and you’ve never been more aware that you aren’t wearing any shorts.
His breathing has now quickened, and his hand feels like it might even be shaking a little bit. He was so nervous, which makes him even more endearing. A wave of adrenaline rushed through you as you lift your hand to rest atop of his, to give him the assurance that it is absolutely okay to have his hand there.
About three quarters of the way into the film, all drinks have been consumed, chips have been eaten, Sero pauses and gets up for a pee break. “Couldn’t your bladder have waited? There isn’t that much longer left Se-bro” Kiri teases
“Ei, I don’t think I know anyone who could wait as long as you have” he leans down and darts his eyes between the two of you. You glare with intent to BURN. You thought too long for a comeback and unfortunately, he’s already happily waltzing off to the bathroom.
Kiri turns to you with a smile and lowers his voice. “Did nobody tell tape face that anything worth having is worth waiting for?” and you swear in that moment an entire flutter of butterflies were trying to escape you. That’s the most direct he’s ever been and it’s not something easy to ignore.
“I know you both have hidden the beer and I take personal offense.” Denki bellows. “I bet it’s on top of the cupboard where Kiri keeps all the good stuff” and he gets up and skips off to the kitchen, fully convinced he’s going to find what he’s looking for.
“I’m going to bed. Gotta be up early and you extras are pissing me off.” Bakugou gets up and stretches. “Love you, Bakubro! Mwah!” both you and Kiri heckle him with air kisses and you are met with yet another middle finger as he strolls off to his dorm room, that small smirk still present.
There’s that feeling coming back again. The way you feel whenever you’re alone with Kirishima. But this is the most compromised you’ve been: you’re basically half naked, he’s got his hand on your hip and he just dropped an absolute bomb of a line thanks to Sero. You can’t help yourself and before you truly think it through,
“Ei, I think I’m done waiting.” You lift your head off his shoulder, faces only a few inches apart. You can feel both your heart rates quicken in sync and your bodies getting hotter. He raises his hand and takes your chin in his hand, urging your lips forward onto his. The anticipated contact sends electricity through your body and the kiss deepens quickly, his tongue licks your lower lip asking for entrance and you accept immediately, releasing a soft moan from the motion.
You twist your body round so that you’re straddling his thigh, his wandering hand had slipped under the fabric of your shirt in the same place, playing with the fabric of your underwear. Your hands find their way to the back of his head, pushing him further into your mouth. You both are getting sloppy as lust takes over and you find your hips involuntarily grinding on his thigh. He breaks away from the kiss, pulling at your lower lip and working his way down your jaw to your neck, nipping and sucking lightly, causing louder moans to escape you.
“So- fucking long- I’ve waited- to touch you like this” he groans out between kisses and bites, sure to leave a mark. “Sound so pretty”
“Ah- me too, I- fuck” the stimulation from his voice and touch is almost overwhelming, but clarity sets in quicker than you’d like it too. “Sero will- ah- be back any second” and you release your grip on his hair. He’s really trying to pout at you, but he can’t help let his goofy smile beam through. You stare at each other for a few seconds, both absolutely beaming with happiness. He lets out an almighty sigh,
“Uggggh, you’re right. Hey, what are you doing after this?” he asks as you settle back down next to him, making you chuckle.
“Well I was planning on going back to my dorm and sleeping. Unless you have a better offer?” you beam.
“Well…” his grin gets wider, “you know there’s a sequel to Scream, yknow? Think you might wanna… what’s it called..”
“Scream 2.”
“I can make you scream, too. Sure” and you erupt into laughter together, from his disgustingly awful pun.
Sero approaches from the corridor “Well you two sure can clear a room.”
“I’d blame it on Kiri’s terrible puns, but Bakubabe went to bed and Electabuzz is currently trying to find the rest of the beer but- oh there you are” Denki walks in, with a pout on his face, and flops back on the couch in disappointment.
“Denks, how about we throw a little party tomorrow after the test. We’ll let you in on where the secret stash is, too.” You offer, his expression immediately switching to that of delight.
Even though there was only a half hour left of the movie, it felt like hours until the end credits started rolling. Denki had managed to fall asleep and was snoring at full velocity, and the only person left paying full attention was Sero, as you couldn’t stop your brain from wandering from anticipation.
He shut the TV off and you tasked yourself with waking up Denki while Kiri cleaned up the empty beer bottles.
“Kami, come on sweetie, you need to go to bed.” You nudge him slightly causing him to stir. Sero walks over, and gives him a hard slap on the ass
‘WAKE UP ASSHOLE! Iida will kill you if you sleep on the couch”
“…I- sleep- your mom-..” he sits up and rubs his eyes
“Don’t be so rough Sero, he’s so sleepy look at hiiiimm” You say, admiring how cute he looked in such tired state. Kaminari finally gets up and all four of you head to the lift… shit.
You are Denki are on the 3rd floor, Kiri is on the 4th and Sero is on the 5th… how are you going to get to Kiri’s room without being suspicious?
A/N: Thank you if you read this in full! Please let me know what you think and if you’d be wanting to read the next part (which would include a lot more spice!)
#kirishima smut#kirishima#kirishima eijirou#kirishima x you#kirishima icons#kirishima imagine#kirishima x reader#kirishima fluff#mha x reader#mha smut#kirishima x y/n#kiribaku#denki kaminari#hanta sero
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