#its fine really like what can i even do. such is life im not gonna kms over it. sighs so loud and hard ok bye
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#this is becoming a realy bad issue ruining my life but i cant talk to anyone about it :(#even just it in the wild drives me crazy its so bad ...idk where to go about it#uggh...it really sucks. it sucks so bad. like i literally cannot do anything about it. even if i were to have someone i trust enough to#talk to about it its just so fucking...i cant tell anyone...SO im gonna be vague about it sorry x_x i know ppl get so curious#sorry im venting in the tags because i feel bad making an actual post#not like it changes anything lmao but it makes me feel better#i feel really bad venting on here but its kind of comforting. i wont do it again..or..often#i wish icould fix this. one tiny thing and it sends me into this like...spiral. it sucks. it sucks. its so embarrassing#its making my life a hell i try to avoid it as much as possible luckily its easy to avoid but when i come across it it HITS me#it hits me. like right now. i hate it. and it hits me and it makes me realize how bad it really is and it takes up my mind for hours#like seriously? out of every problem i could have why is it this lol#i wish i knew what was wrong with me.. i dont think its normal..but oh well#sorry for venting im fine ill try to not do it again or at least go in depth like this. its just. ruining my life i have to get it out-#-in some way even if its vague like this. i dont know if this makesm e feel better even#i think im pmsing lol which probably makes it a bit worse so im fine#venting on tumblr is so embarrassing but i just. no one i trust i can talk to about this. this is all i got#sorry for clogging ur dash lol#i wish i was normal -_-#thunder roars
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actually i am going to elaborate on that psychoanalyzing blorbo post from days ago lol. long story short i've been trying since abt september to kind of start getting my shit together, maybe get into some kind of club or hobby that will help me work on my anxiety, maybe do some bucket list kind of stuff i've been putting off. and then last month mom got diagnosed w breast cancer
my Consistent response to things going wrong in my life is avoidance, isolating myself and trying to repress shit, so i gave up on all of those plans immediately bc i felt like it would put strain on my family and i started trying my best to focus on literally anything else bc i have shit to do + people/a job that needs me + i really couldn't face the reality of it right away
and that news came literally days after act 1 aired. so watching caitlyn then go on to try to repress any and all of her emotions/wants in favour of trying to be the person she believes everyone around her wants her to be and seeing exactly how badly that fucks up her life. felt extremely fucking pointed let me fucking tell you
#moms doing lots of tests to figure out how shes gonna proceed but its looking good atm. probably caught it early#from what i understand the plan is to just cut out the tumour and shell be pretty much ok? i dont even think she needs to do chemo#and im doing ok. really trying my best to not do all of my usual shit lol. i have great friends which helps a lot#im not Fine ngl. it sucks. going through family history and literally the only people in my maternal line who didnt die of cancer#died young in some kind of accident before they could develop cancer. inc nan. who died when mom was my age#but im dealing w it! and mom seems ok if nothing else#but lacans mirror as a literary theory is fucking REAL and it haunts me every day of my life#levi.txt#cancer tw#this isnt any kind of cry for help or looking for sympathy/to talk abt it or god forbid trying to win fandom arguments etc etc#just like. its relevant to general life shit. itll probably come up bc its hard to completely avoid talking abt so i should mention it#and i think its funny the way the universe works out sometimes and how art can find you right when you need it#i feel like the cat in that post thats like 'see how jonesy survives alien bc she lets ripley put her in the carrier?'#'hello lesbian w avoidant coping mechanisms going through a massively upsetting life event. watch This'
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I need to go. Store.
#i need another suit case#and i have to buy formal clothes. for the job that im getting fired from. like i literally only have one or two days left (they still#havnt actually told me the day l o l) but i have to fucking show up in formal clothes so that they can take pictures even though im not even#gonna BE there :(#i wanna get candy for my students too.#and i still need to have lesson plans for my last day.#my new job is live streaming so that should be fun but the set up gives me the hebbie jeebies cajse of past shit so im a little worried.#should be fine though.#im a little shook up. today. im hoping ill feel better.#life is quiet though. its calm.#but i need to pack all my shit up and clean.#my mom is coming in a week or so. she wont be here for Halloween thankfully#i dont know what to do with my self. idk if ive ever been this. awake. before.#usually i watch over the garden wall and make my self some soup or something on my birthday. and just do my best to ignore everything#but its just. its fine. ill be fine nothing js really that bad. it just feels that way.#oh im gonna go find some alter wrote forever ago i think that will help.#i need to go to the store#i miss a person whos never existed#maybe ill actually be able to settle in to my new job#i also want to start taking Mandarin lessons. but i keep forgetting
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i think im allowed to assume someones consuming their kinks in a harmful-to-others way if I have first hand experience with them sexually abusing me, personally.
#do i think they always do it in a harmful way? no. because i dont see the world in black and white. statistically thats impossible#but i think its safe for me to assume the worst in this situation with this specific person. personally#instead of trying to make me second guess if i should be so harsh on my abuser and keep my arms closed entirely maybe#we should be confronting them on being a better person for once#yaknow instead of insisting that i need to heal or change or whatever and the fault all lies in me and never in them#food for thought#i promise me being disturbed by and wanting to avoid certain kinks isnt worse than them being sexually abusive. like i really promise.#if you think i do more harm being uncomfortable than they do by sexually abusing ppl then idk what to tell ya#and a lot of the kinks that make me uncomfortable and i try to avoid are the ones they have#forgive me if trauma makes me weary. i mean fuck dude it takes years for me to even feel like i can trust someone enough to be my friend#now you're telling me i hafta jump all the way to trusting ppl wont misuse their kinks towards me? im sorry what world do you live in#i already dont trust a lot of cis men for that reason it doesnt suddenly change just bc you're queer. i gotta know you're not#a sexually abusive creep to even BEGIN to touch the subject of kinks w you#which explains why me and my abusive ex never got that far in that conversation 😒#cis men have a lot of kinks that just hearing them makes me suspicious because personally i have lived with a cis man who sexually#abused me and was very secretive about his kinks and is the type of person to act one way but then is secretly a pos#so yeah im a little fuckin weary dude. im not assuming people with certain kinks are bad by default but id be lying if i said certain#kinks dont make me a little on edge to hear about someone having. and i'd probably take an even longer time sussing that person out#sorry but i just dont need to be sexually abused again. and for me rn avoiding that is being weary of certain things.#a lot of it is context too... a group of people pretending to be super familiar with me and wanting to dive into kink stuff right away bc#we're all queer so it should be Fine and want me to come to their place that i need to take a car to at night.... yeah gonna pass#but thats why im saying a good long ol' sussing is needed for me to feel ok. if you have an issue with me needing to feel like i#can trust someone to be around them thats just.... really weird. obv i cant always control that but i mean specifically situations i can#obligatory: none of this has to do w kink in public or anything this is all about my own personal life
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sitting here twiddling my fucking thumbs like a serial killer about to lose her shit bc a post casually referred to a character in utena as dead and there is literally no reasoning for it nor against it and there is plenty more FOR IT than NOT and they just said that shit CASUALLY as if it was not the most BATSHIT THING TO DROP MIDPOST
#personal#utena#utena spoilers#my world fucking crumbling down im gonna lose my entire shit. what do you mean shes DEAD#it makes SENSE!!!!!! IN EVERY SENSE OF THE WORD IT CAN LITERALLY BE 100% TRUE AND CORRECT AND RIGHT#AND IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIM GONNA LOSE MY SHIT ABOUT IT NOT BC ITS RIGHT BUT BC YOU CANT REALLY PROVE IT WRONG#I HATE THIS SHOW I HATE THIS SHOW SO MUCH. WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME. AND ITS NOT EVEN A MAJOR CHARACTER#LIKE LITERALLY GOING TO GO INSANE. WDYM. WDYM. ITS NOT EVEN A USUAL ''EVERYONES DEAD'' THEORY FROM SOME OTHER#QUACKADOO FANDOM THIS IS REAL LIFE IM GONNA SCREAM#WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHES DEAD!!!!!!!!! WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE DIED IN THE SHOW . WHAT DO YOU MEAN. HOLD ON.#LITERALLY GOING TO GO INSANE. LIKE THEY WOULDNT KILL HER. HE NEEDS HER. BUT ALSO. LIKE. THEY COULD. AND ITD BE FINE.#HE DOESNT NEED HER. BUT HE DOES. BUT HE DOESNT. BUT.#shit that is going to keep me the FUCK UP TONIGHT
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fucked up the substrate I spent an hour making so I have to redo it....... going to the work bathroom to put my head between my knees and start screaming
#the only reason i fucked it up is bc i cant just fucking drop this and bc im ruminating im not paying enough ATTENTION!!!!!!#i dont even care abt the substrate like its fine i have time to redo it. just angry at myself for allowing this shit to distract me#it doesnt even fucking matter anyway girls will upset themselves over things which are immutable facts they have no control over#and that will never ever change for the rest of their lives. sad! get over it#everything just fucking sucks. well back to the lab i guess! gotta pep myself up for another meeting in an hour and a half ugh#its fine really like what can i even do. such is life im not gonna kms over it. sighs so loud and hard ok bye#.diaries
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...
#*problems occur on a project multiple ppl r working on* my boss @ me: what do u wanna do?#me. disastrously burnt out: i couldnt not even to give a fuck abt all this. i dont care i dont care i dont care#but thats not what i say. i say ok ill talk to the ppl and see how i can drop everything to help. and that probably means driving an hour#away to the other uni which is irrationally terrifying to me to the point where it will probably destroy my whole week a prevent me from#sleeping when i already am struggling to sleep. but its fine. ill get it done and itll be fine. for this stupid fucking project i dont#care abt. ay its so weird. ive never been this angry abt things. i mean its not even really anger its more dispair and frustration but it#manifests as just wanting to scream and throw a fit like a toddler. and i mean its my fault. i dont have to live the way that i do. i mean#i do but in an irrational compulsive way that i cant entirely control. but like its Saturday and i sepent 6 and a half hours taking#measurements and then met with my boss for like an hour and she was showing me cool imagines and talking abt cool new collaborators at her#new school and im just sitting there trying to maintain a smile bc my brain is semi disconnected from my body and im so exhausted#ugh. my brain is so fucked rn. i dont want to drive with even lower functioning thsn usual. and i was gonna meet my friend Tuesday morning#for once. and i might have to drive back and forth multiple days. ans what's my reward if were successful? two fucking weeks of watering#and measurement taking and i might have to stand around other ppl in all that time as well. usually im off spinning in circles by myself#amd looking unapproachable. i dont want to have to b a person around the undergrads#god im so weird. its like from the outside perspective if u were looking thru the window at me u would see me using a hammer and assume im#putting something together and i am but im also hammering nails thru my hand which no one asked me to do#so then why do i have to do it? ugh. thats y its a hard thing to complain abt bc ppl r like oh it sounds like ur compulsive habbits make u#productive and successful and yea sure but they're also destroying my life. im laying on the floor doubled over in pain and ppl r like oh#look how useful u r. who gives a fuck everything feels stretched and distorted like im suffering some sort of selfimposed Devin punishment#whatever. fuck this. tomorrow ill try my hardest to relax. literally i cant remember the last time i stayed in bed until at least 7am. ugh#but i also have some bullshit i have to get done tomorrow so well see#uuuuuugh let me leave this place @ schools send me ur official offers pls i wanna plan out my life for the next 5yrs#unrelated
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Hmmm I wish I could choose one favorite color and one name to feel like home
#rambles#what they dont tell you about choosing a name is that when you throw out that thang that was with you your whole life-#-for something that you think you like better is that even if you have already chosen something-#-you will feel nameless for quite a while#sami#sami. sami. sami. sami.#is that really me though?#(its 2 am and i am bored so picked up my phone :P)#im gonna paint the walls of my room tomorrow#its been white for a decade#i chose orange brown and beige#but are those really the colors i want?#aint the colors for me dark blue?#or dark green perhaps?#what color what color#my little sister had no trouble choosing: she loves baby blue and her walls are baby blue#everything she has to choose she chooses baby blue#because she knows it won't disappoint her; it's a color she can count on#i wish i had a favorite color too#<- all this said. but i rarely dislike a color. orange will probably do. orange is warm and brown is homely and beige is soft#if thats not what a room needs than i dont know what it is#so i'll probably be fine
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ti's the season ( of reflection)
#january new year new beginnings reflecting to learn n grow and such#realizing a lot about like my life 2 years ago up to a year ago#vent i guess#i lost a actually all of my friends for a few months because they were all like fighting with eachother n then slowly gained like 2 back and#then those 2 fought n like just actually had no one in my corner for a while even my partner at the time wasnt really there for me and for#so long i was just so isolated but had to like pretend everything was fine and i lost my closes friend who was also extremely to my now ex#having introduced us:/ well i guess after a frw months i was able to connect to 2 new friends and i made of with 2 older ones and i lost#like actually 10 or so good friends which sucks so hard actually and like my mother would say oh well you were going to grow apart going to#different colleges anyways but dam what a nasty way to go there was like weird fighting cant even get into all of it for the year before it#and then i was actuslly genuinely depressed for months and i felt like a responsibility#and duty to break up with my partner because i felt i was not there for them at all#and i felt they didnt understsnd me anymore it was a lot going on but i felt the relstionship wasnt good for them and they didnt deserve it#but then after breaking up with them like that so did not help the lonrlyness n numb all cosnuming feeling x#but then i started at a new place and made a few new friends and i got closer than ever with 2 people and i learned a lot#there are 2 friends i still love who dont get along andni miss when they did they were so close and lodt eachother and i see them both#and theyre both doing better i guess#ill always miss like 3 years ago when the kid in my who thought id never make friends felt so proud for being a genuine part of a group#but even then when i was in the group i always felt like no ones first choice and like jesus thats rough idk#and i mean the whole thing about being someonesfirst chose or best friend i mean people contain multidues ur never gonna be like first frvr#but idk now i have such beautiful kind friends and im not depressed anymore#i remeber the first time i stsrted feeling like emotions again and realized i wasnt numb like i had been for a year it was so crazy#like woah depression is a beast theres just..nothing like such nothingness and i remeebr being like oh my god i actuslly feel something#and i started like remeber things again and crying and now i cry so often its something im so grateufl for over the past year#ive really been able to become my self over 2024 and yeah thats emotional there was a lot going on since like 2018 for me#and its finally settling#and im just sorta shocked now because i feel so much emotion so strongly but i like felt nothing and remebr nothing and just loet myself#for so long#like even before tgat there was a lot going on and i felt so out of control and then ntohing for months and then slowly#slowly because i had a few friends who loved me and i had a new routine and i was away from some people i started being me#2025 the year of being me :') also just learned u can only have 30 tags
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they should invent a me that's good at everything i want to be good at. [thing from the addams family pokes out of a nearby box and hands me a piece of paper] thank you, thing. what's this...oh! why, it's a paper that says i have to be the one to do that for my future self! huh.
#bluebird.txt#post brought to you by IM FRUSTRATED AND ANNOYED BUT GRITTING MY TEETH AND KNOWING THAT I WILL NOT LET MYSELF FAIL IN THE LONG TERM#EVEN IF FUCK UP NOW YOU GOTTA FUCK UP A LOT BEFORE YOU GET ANYWHERE NEAR WHERE YOU WANNA BE#AND I'M DOING GREAT#AND ALSO I HAVE GENUINELY BEEN GOING THROUGH SO MUCH HEALTH SHIT RECENTLY THAT I LEGITIMATELY WAS COMPLETELY UNABLE TO THINK OF#ALMOST ANYTHING SCHOOL RELATED AT ALL CAUSING ME TO FORGET MULTIPLE ASSIGNMENTS AND BE LATE TO A MIDTERM#AND IT SUCKS BUT SOMETIMES THERE REALLY IS A GOOD REASON FOR WHY YOU COULD NOT DO AS MYCH AS YOU WANTED#AND MAYBE YOU'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO DO AS MUCH AS YOU WANT AT ONCE#BUT TAKE IT SLOWLY AND ONE DAY AT A TIME AND SOME DAYS YOU WILL FEEL LACKING BUT JUST THINK OF ALL#THE GOOD WORK YOU'VE ALREADY DONE#MORE WILL COME YOU WILL BE FINE#I AM FRUSTRATED NOW AND THAT IS FINE AND I AM NOT WHERE I WANT TO BE IN MANY WAYS BUT I HAD A HEALTH SETBACK#THAT FORCED ME TO BE UNABLE TO DO SHIT I NEEDED TO DO AND NOW YOU SIMPLY JUST GOTTA GET BACK INTO IT#EVEN IF ITS SLOW AND EVEN IF YOU 'SHOULD' BE BETTER#SHOULD IS A BULLSHIT FUCKING WORD IN THIS CASE#YOU ARE. I AM. AND I WILL CONTINUE BEING. I WILL MAKE IT THROUGH THIS YEAR AND ACTUALLY IT WILL NOT KILL ME.#I'M JUST GONNA MAKE IT THROUGH THIS YEAR. AND THIS ORCHESTRA CYCLE. AND THEN I CAN GO ON VACATION. AND DO MENTAL PRACTICE.#AND MY BEST. AND YOUR BEST DOESN'T MEAN PERFECT OR EVEN THAT FOOD SOMETIMES IT JUST MEANS DO WHAT YOU CAN.#me when im taking it easy but taking it#sorry i gotta hype myself up cuz if i let myself feel bad about myself that's stupid and dumb and im better than that#if im not aggressively positive ill explode and my life will fall apart around me and i will NOT let myself be miserable again#last month was out of my control mostly. i will however not take 19 credits next semester!#girls when. RAAAGGGGGGHHHH RIPS OFF MY SHIRT I AM ALIVE AT LEAST AND THATS PRETTY COOL#me when i paused like seven times typing this to cough hard
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this got away from me
#i wish i was a rich pretty guy or something but instead im a regular looking regular guy with parents that earn regular money#i was born to be one of those annoying bratty rich kids who dont work ever. that should be me#or something. i complain about work constantly but guys i do not want to go to school. i dont. i dont. i dont i dont. i dont i dont and i#dont know what to do about it. its spring. ive got like a month to figure out how im getting out of this#im not doing this i cannot do this. i cant i cant i cant. im so stressed i can tell im so stressed bc im getting acne and my eczema is awfu#its only a matter of time before i break out in hives or some shit i cant do it i cant do it. i cant. i cant#god everything is really getting to me. i cant i dont have a place here i dont i have no purpose in life and everyone just wants me to act#like. thats not true bc um. well! haha what are you gonna do! haha its fine. keep moving forward. ignore your anxiety and the fact that#everything makes you miserable constantly. and even the things that make you happy make you miserable. ignore that#go to college. normal ppl go to college :) no you want to sleep all day because youre not doing anything. which is a personal failure.#you should instead do something that makes you miserable. thatll fix it. dont kill yourself thats stupid. you have so much to live for! lik#um. well youre supposed to live. so. ignore yknow everything in the world and push forward. bc it will get better! once um.#um. yknow. you graduate in 8 years? be a dentist…. um bc. you like teeth. and it makes money. and well you need the money! youre going to#college!!!! you need that money to pay for it after all. dont think about it dont think about it dont think about it dont think about it#its okay we’ll do everything we can to make it cheaper. to do the thing you dont want to do at all even a little bit. no dont kill yourself#you have so much to live for! a career in something youve never been interested in! or yknow a different career youre not interested in#i dont want to kill myself!!! i dont want to kill myself i want something to fucking live for!!!!!! a want a life that doesnt make me feel#like i have to kill myself!!!!!!!!!!#simons spouting#vent :(#suicide //
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Turning up the music to max volume and laying facedown on the bed because the mental health has hit rock bottom like DROWN IT OUT, DROWN IT OUT, DROWN IT OUT, DROWN IT OUT, DROWN IT OUT, DROWN IT OUT--
Thoughts of self harm and maybe suicidal ideation in the vent in the tags. Sorry.
#irl#vent#self harm mention#self harm#i am not having a good time today at all chat#my brain is giving me the itchy little localized signals in my wrists that are connected to the Bad Thoughts and Horrible Coping Mechanisms#and like honestly i feel like i should be fine but im not#shit sucks#almost started crying because i realized i forgot to grab some new exfoliating gloves while i was at the store#gonna be eating nothing but ramen and potatoes this month#im lonely and life feels like a really shitty time loop and im probably never gonna be able to get my cats and bring them here#because i need to somehow manage to save up $500 just for oet deposit and pet rent#when everything is month to month to month#i dont have any friends and i dont talk to my family and i sincerely feel like i could die and the only person that would know would be#my partner and even then thats because we live together#and when i do finally die its not like anyone will have known me#people that i should or used to be close with will find out eventually and theyll all call me by a name that isnt mine#using pronouns and words and descriptors that misrepresent me as a person#ect ect ECT#whatever#like whats even the point honestly????#i dont know what im doing here i just feel like a huge burden to everyone around me#dssi is barely enough for groceries but its not like i can get a job near me being legally blind#im just a big ol burdensome money sink lolol#just an overly needy little waste of space#i dunno#i dont know shit anymore#im so fucking tired all the time man#im just#so tired
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suit - Chris Sturniolo
summary: Chris has a wedding he has to get to, but he just looks too good in his suit that you just need to take him before he leaves.
contains: smut, soft dom!chris, stomach bulge, fluff, quick sex, bathroom sex.
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5:47pm
chris walks into the living room with a giddy smile on his face, adjusting his tie as he gives you a little spin.
"wooww, somebody looks dapper!" you grin teasingly, standing up off the couch and walking over to him.
he laughs, "matt had to help me tie this stupid thing." he scoffs, adjusting the black silk tie around his neck.
"you look so good though! i didn't know you even owned a damn suit." i giggle, adjusting the fabric around his shoulders.
"thank you thank you." he smiles, giving you a stupid wink as he tries to act proper.
"when do you have to head off?" i ask, my tone slightly quieter now as i drag my nails down his blazer, the fabric loosely hanging over his waist.
"like, 12 minutes." he says, checking his phone,
i give him a small smirk, the room going quiet.
he stares at me in silence, his arms folded over his chest.
"what do you want?" he asks, chuckling softly as i just continue to smile up at him.
"mmm, you knoww.." i shrug,
i can see it click in brain what i really want, how couldn't i? he just looks so good in his suit.
"when i'm home yeah? we don't have enough time." he whispers, pecking a kiss to my lips.
i shake my head, crossing my leg as i clench my thighs together, trying to soothe the ever-growing ache between my legs.
"please chris, i need it now." i whisper, staring up at him through my lashes with my big round eyes.
"i cant- matt and nick are waiting for me.." chris says, scratching the nape of his neck.
"just- just come." i whisper, grabbing his hand.
i silently pull him down the hallway to the bathroom, opening the door quietly before locking it.
"baby- seriously.." he whispers, hes trying to deny it, but i can see the hunger in his eyes as his eyes travel down my body, looking at the tight tanktop which hugs my curves just perfectly.
i drop down to my knees, fiddling with his belt buckle as i gently slide it off.
"please chris..?" i smile up at him, my tongue darting out to lick my lips.
"fine.. fine- we gotta be real quick though." he sighs,
my grin only grows as i unbutton his pants and slide them down his legs,
he's left standing in his black calvin klein boxers, an obvious tent forming.
i tug them down his legs aswell, his semi-hard erection springing out.
i take him in my hand, my fingers barely able to close around his girth,
he shakes his head, grabbing my hand and pulling me up off my knees.
"don't have enough time for that baby." he whispers, his voice hoarse and croaky.
he lifts me up and sits me on the counter, his hands instantly going for the waistband of my shorts and tugging them off.
he tuts, "no panties f'me?" he grins,
my cheeks heat up as i nod, "sorry.."
"'nah, don't gotta apologise for that sweetheart." he mutters, dragging a finger through my folds.
i let out a sharp gasp,
on a normal day, chris would tease me until im on the verge of tears, but today, he has to be quick.
"gonna be real quiet for me?" he asks softly, positioning his tip with my leaking hole.
i nod frantically, "yes- yes chris, promise." i mumble,
he suddenly slams his cock into me, i feel every single inch enter me at an ungodly pace.
he doesn't waste time to start thrusting, hard.
despite my earlier promise about being quiet, its pratically impossible now, i let out loud moans. his tip is abusing my cervix, his cock showing through my belly.
"oh baby, feel me right there?" he whispers, dragging his cold fingers over my tummy.
i nod with a strangled cross between a whine and a moan,
chris instantly shoves two fingers in my mouth.
thats hot.
my moans are muffled and almost silenced by his long fingers resting on my tongue, i close my eyes as i grip the counter top for dear life, the force of his thrusts nearly making me shift off.
"hurry up baby, gotta cum for me." he mutters under his breath, shifting his spare hand down to my clit,
he rubs quick circles on my clit, i feel my whole abdomen tightening as my orgasm rapidly approaches.
my head falls forward onto chris's shoulder, biting down on the fabric in a weak attempt to silence myself.
"good girll.. so good." he whispers into my ear,
i finally tip over the edge, my stomach dropping as i clench around his cock, i bite down on his shoulder hard as i orgasm, hard.
he thrusts into me a few more times before burying his cock deep, his release spilling out inside of me.
he quickly slides out of me, both of us panting as we lock eyes.
his cheeks are now flushed and his hair is messy, but he still looks somewhat presentable.
"you- you okay?" he asks, dragging his middle finger through my folds and pushing his cum back inside of me.
i gasp with a nod,
he reaches down and checks his phone,
"shit baby, matt and nick are waiting for me in the car, i gotta go." he mumbles, tugging up his boxers and suit pants, fastening the belt around his hips.
i let out a small groan in response,
"im sorry sweetie- dont wanna have to leave you here all messy but i literally cannot be any more late." he sighs, pressing a kiss to my forehead.
he goes to turn away but i stop him.
"wait-" i giggle,
he turns back to look at me,
i call him over as i stare at his shoulder,
his blazer shoulder his completely damp from my pathetic attempts to muffle them on it,
i reach out and wipe the fabric free of my spit, "sorry." i grin
chris laughs, "you're good, it was better than you screaming out into the house and alerting matt and nick that im indeed not taking a shit."
i giggle loudly, "youre grossss."
"youre gross!! you've got my 'fuckin cum leaking down your legs."
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@sturnsdoll @obvisturns @stupid4sturniolo @meerkatzthings @witchofthehour @rosalierenee43 @gabrielle-brun1 @ilovemymannnnnnnn @sturnioloxlver @buckys-goodgirl @sturniol0s @ilovemymannnnnnn n @chr1sgirl4life @luanetaluenta @sturnsssbow w @mattfangirl girl @luvr4miya @luvtay111 @lolasturniolo @freshloveforthefit @ruedowney @lovingchrissposts @333michelle e @h3arts4harry @jamiesturniolo o @chrisstopherfilmed @ @daddyslilchickenfingers2 @ev3rgreenxtrees @certifiednatelover er @solarsturniolo larsturniolo lo @mattsenthusiast t @yomamaslays4lyfe @peachmels @alinaa131 @pepsiluvr0209 @creamoncreamoncream2 @szobofc @mattscoquette e @blahbell668 @sturniolo04 @bitchydragonparadise @sturni0l0tripletzz @ratatioulle @sturnsfav @mattsonlybitch @justalittle47 @sunsetsturniolos @sturniolo04 @similartokayyz @sturnsintrouble @ilovemattsturn @raysmayhem-72 @75sturn @sturniol0s @secret-sturniolo @hfkeclnendmwodne @sturniolosass @gxldenlush @stonermattsgf @101saroona a @beccaluvschris @oliviasturniolo21 1 @imwetforyourmom @tylerstacobell @sunsetsturniolos @aliceloveschris @jayz4dayz 4 @sassysturniolo2008 @nyktoxs-lover r @nathandoesgf @starsturns234 @chrissturnsss s @joemamaaa42069 @sturnthepot @zayyluvz @realuvrrr @livialifesblog @sturnioloblogs @riowritesitall john @raysmayhem-72
#sturniolo#chris sturniolo#matt sturniolo#sturniolo x reader#matt sturniolo x reader#sturniolo smut#nick sturniolo#sturniolo fanfic#sturniolo triplets#chris sturniolo x reader#chris sturniolo x you#chris sturniolo smut#chris sturniolo imagine#chris sturiolo fanfic#the sturniolo triplets#matthew sturniolo#nicolas sturniolo
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soft — max v.
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( masterlist | guidelines | drop a request )
PAIRINGS: max verstappen x reader
SUMMARY: max can never quite resist his girlfriend, even when she has a bit of a habit of collecting strays.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: firstly, thank you so much for the amazing response to tangerine summer!!! i was really nervous to post it, so all of the love its received so far has been incredible. please enjoy, and feel free to come say hi!
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yourusername
liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris, danielricciardo and others
yourusername welcome to the family, little marie <3
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user2 omg not the aristocats reference
user4 she's so precious!
user1 oh i just know max is tired
maxverstappen1 is that my side of the bed?
yourusername shes already fast asleep i cant move her now
maxverstappen1 ive only been gone an HOUR
yourusername im sure she wont complain if you cuddle with her when you get back :D
maxverstappen1 fine.
user3 cat dad!max is everything i ever wanted omg
user5 He's really out here complaining like we don't know he's the biggest cat dad on the planet
danielricciardo so how exactly did you convince max to let you get another one???
yourusername what makes you think this was because of me?
maxverstappen1 it is.
danielricciardo it is
charles_leclerc it is
landonorris it is
lewishamilton it is
yourusername hey!
yourusername it is 😊
landonorris im gonna steal her and take her home with me
maxverstappen1 dont you dare, norris
landonorris damn fine i see how it is
maxverstappen1
liked by yourusername, landonorris, charles_leclerc and others
maxverstappen1 menace from day 1
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yourusername shut up you love her 😍😍😍😍
maxverstappen1 only because i love you
yourusername omg
landonorris if i fits i sits!
yourusername shes just like her uncle, little lando norris
charles_leclerc she's never done anything wrong in her life
user1 box box!
user3 what is it with cats and boxes fr
user2 Thank god for Max and Marie content
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© https-papaya || do NOT rewrite, translate, or copy any of my works posted here on to any other platform
#f1 x reader#formula 1 x reader#max verstappen x reader#f1 smau#f1 imagine#max verstappen smau#max verstappen imagine#my work!
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hey this is actually one of the hardest things ive ever tried to do with my time as an artist. how the FUCK do etsy/shopvee/redbubble artists do this for a LIVING????
BIG News: I'm trying to make some really huge changes, and I'll need your help.
Before I grant any details, I gotta preface everything with the reality of our situation; Jay, the sole breadwinner, has been a victim of yet another "new hire surprise fire". He was booted without warning, written or verbal, about two weeks ago.
Evidently this is very common in the production wood/metalworking industry, otherwise this wouldn't have happened so many fucking times, because he's a great person with amazing work ethic and that's not just my bias talking - most of his coworkers have felt the exact same way as me across every company he's worked for.
Of course, THAT DAY we wasted no time in reaching out to contacts and applying for mountains of positions on Indeed, on company websites, and the state hiring portal. Nobody has contacted him back. ONE hiring agency gave him a "maybe". Even I have applied to several places for myself, with not so much as a rejection.
Seeing the trauma this caused him first hand was my final fucking straw.
I'm sick to death of suffering this tragedy. I'm sick to death of hearing the love of my life, my Fiancé, cry because of how he was fired. And I'm sick to death of coming here or crawling to my friends and family for money they don't have because we're legitimately hopeless for it.
I don't have the heart to continually beg for cash. It was never something I've been good at or proud of doing, and it kills me inside to DM people for commissions I don't even have the time nor energy to do. I'm sick of this. All of this. I need it all to stop.
So of course, I want to nip this in the goddamn bud.
I met a very sweet vendor in Iowa who gave me a load of resources on how to get started selling my art on actual things I get to see and hold for myself and hand to people in person, namely conventions. It's a hell of a risk but I need this to work. I'm so exhausted from asking for money so please help me make this be the last time I ever need to come here for help.
More details will come, because I'm also tired of making plans and leaping forward without having anything to show for it. When I actually have these products designed, that's when I'm going to show you guys everything I've made, with as much detail on my thinking and planning as I can get out there (because lord knows the internet has taken advantage of people's generosity before).
When that time comes, please *please* give me your support. It would legitimately be world-changing for us.
I just wanted to get this out here asap so people would know what I'm going through and, hopefully plan along with me. I don't just want this to happen, I *need* this to *succeed*. I don't have any other option. Right now, I'm busting my ass on product designs (literally because this chair hurts!!), and Jay can attest to that.
I plan on having *something* to show for all my hard work by next week, and soon after, a Kickstarter to make it a reality. Keep an eye out!!
#im fucking exploding. im cannibalizing my hands as we speak#i open the wip. i look at my template or what ive completed so far. i fucking. seize up. i close the art program#even if i have the inspiration and i have the motivation..when i get there and i try to Conceptualize Ideas#i get this like. feeling of disgust and repulsion and frustration and apathy#and my body feels like i just ran a short distance (im out of shape so this is a Not Good feeling)#my heart is sinking and its like im depressed all over again and trying to get myself out of bed for the first time at rock bottom#why does this feel so impossible? why do i feel like im gonna throw up??#its just?? stickers????#i can do commissions without this feeling anymore but i cant make a little object for you to put on your notepad and forget about?? TxT;;#sometimes i wish i wasnt the way i was. i wish i had the youtuber type autism where i can focus on this nonstop because of Passion~ or w/e#my focus is so spotty i cant even do the one thing i was groomed to do my entire life#godddd#for the record. if u read this far#im fine in like. every other aspect of my life#im healthy both mentally and physically. well. healthier than ive ever been at least. maybe i could get more sleep fkgjfk but#im not unconfident in my skills. im not unsure of what im going to draw. i have a list of things.#i have concepts for a good chunk of these sticker designs#but like. i open the document and i want to die#but if i dont do this. if i cant make these product designs then we will only suffer. i havent gotten any call-backs (from places who are#VERY obviously hiring!!)#this is my like. Do Or Die mentality kicking in. if i dont do this then we cant save money to move to a more affordable place.#we'll continue to run completely dry on cash. rent is all we can afford right now and it'll stay that way unless we can find another income#and this is all i can do that could possibly work#i really dont want to open up commissions yet because i cannot keep relying on my friends. i NEED to branch out#if i dont then. i dont know what we'll do#im scared. why cant i get my brain to work on this? they're easy and simple and nice. but.#god. i cant do this. i need some way to make this process easier.#intercom#vent
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what’s your favorite scary movie?
summary: porn star eddie is doing a halloween film with his costar, one that involves a certain mask.
pairing: porn star eddie x porn star reader
word count: 5.9k
warnings: being filmed, daddy kink, use of a realistic plastic knife (nothing weird with it, though), unprotected sex, creampies, choking, brief oral sex (m & f receiving), mentions of anal, breast play, anal fingering (f receiving), degradation, rough sex, kinda dubcon
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a/n: im aware halloween is over, but its always Halloween in my mind! also, sorry if anything like this has been done. I just returned to tumblr, and haven’t read many fics here in like 8-9 months.
18+ ONLY. minors do not interact or follow, or you’re getting blocked.
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Ring! Ring!
The phone next to you was ringing its familiar ringtone, and you looked at it with an eye roll. Unknown number, typical. You were acting the part of someone who didn’t like spam calls, but you hated them just as much in real life, too. You turned your attention back to the TV, ready to forget all about it and delete any voice mail they may leave, when it began to ring again. The same number popped up, and you killed the call. They called again, and again, and after the fifth time, you’d finally had enough.
“What do you want?” you asked irritably.
“y/n,” a deep voice came over the phone. “How nice to catch you.”
“Who is this?” you asked.
“That doesn’t matter,” he said, and you could hear a grin in his voice. “I was lonely, and thought I would give you a call.”
“Very funny,” you said. “Tell me who you are.”
“What’s the fun of that?” he asked. “Isn’t mystery supposed to be more fun?”
“Is it?” you asked. “You’re probably just someone I know, trying to play some kind of weird joke.”
“Am i?” he asked. “I don’t think I know you at all.”
“Then how did you know my name and my number?” you asked. “Answer me that.”
“Maybe I have my own methods,” he said. “Ever think of that?”
“Ha ha,” you said with an eye roll. You hung up, but the same number called again and you picked up. “Yes?”
“That wasn’t very wise of you,” he said dangerously. “You didn’t even let me ask my questions.”
“They’re probably something really fucking gross,” you said. “I’m not in the mood.”
“Now, now,” he said, tsking. “What do you take me for?”
“A pervert,” you said.
“You’re right,” he said with a dramatic sigh. “But that isn’t why I’m calling you.”
“No?” you asked with a chuckle. “Coulda fooled me.”
“What’s your favorite scary movie?” he asked, and you could almost hear the grin in his voice.
“What the fuck?” you asked, sitting up on the couch. “What kind of question is that?”
“Are you going to answer it?”
“No, now goodbye–”
“Hang up again, and you’ll regret it.”
The threatening tone of his voice gave you pause. “Who is this?”
“What’s your favorite scary movie?” he asked again.
“Whatever,” you said, and dared to hang up. It didn’t last long until he called again, and you rolled your eyes as you answered. “What?!”
“I’m sorry for disturbing you,” he said. “I just wanted to talk to you.”
“I’m not gonna entertain you,” you said. “You’re a fucking creep.”
“Just answer my question and I’ll leave you alone,” he said.
“Fine,” you said with a sigh. “I really like Psycho, Halloween, Friday the 13th, The Exorcist.”
“I know you like Friday the 13th,” he said, and he laughed evilly on the other end. “I can see that you’re watching it right now.”
You froze, sitting bolt upright. “What did you just say?”
“Never mind that,” he said. “Do you have a boyfriend?”
“No..” you answered automatically, looking around the darkness of your windows for any signs of life. “How do you know what I’m watching…?”
“Just a guess,” he said.
You got up and turned on all the lights, looking around again to see if you could spot someone. “Look, I need to go–”
“Don’t hang up,” he nearly shouted.
“Look, this isn’t funny or cute anymore,” you said. “I’m really uncomfortable, so if you could please–”
“You look really sexy in your pretty lingerie,” he said. “I mean, I think that’s what it is. You’re wearing that pretty pink babydoll with a thong. You like to tease people, y/n? That isn’t very nice.”
“Fuck you, creep,” you said.
“You didn’t ask what my favorite scary movie is,” he said.
“I don’t care!” you cried. “Leave me alone!”
“It’s The Strangers,” he said, and you could swear his voice sounded different now. More echo, closer somehow. “You know, that movie where those people break into that house.”
“I’m–” you began, and your back collided with someone as you backed away.
You played the part of terrified really well, and you could see the cameraman giving you a thumbs up as you kept the facade. You turned around slowly, shouting in surprise when you came face to face with a man in a mask. He was in all black, and the rest of his mask was black as well, except for the face. It looked like a ghost, its mouth agape in some kind of eternal shock. In his hand was a knife, but you knew it wasn’t a real one. It was plastic that was made to look like the real deal, something the director found at a joke shop for a little bit of nothing. You shrieked and tried to run away, but he grabbed you and held you against his back as he stroked your hair in a near-loving gesture.
“Shh,” he said in your ear, trailing the knife down your arm. “It’s okay. I’m not here to hurt you.”
“Could have fooled me,” you said, feeling yourself already starting to get wet as you felt him hardening against your ass. “Why are you here, then?”
“I was hoping maybe I’d get lucky,” he purred, moving the knife between your breasts as you shivered. “You’re so much hotter up close.”
“And what do YOU look like under that thing?” you asked, your voice conveying the whole “stall him” vibe that the director wanted you to go for. “It’s not really fair that you see me and I can’t see you. If you’re really not gonna hurt me, then why won’t you show me?”
“I’ll show you,” he said, and you could hear the smirk in his voice. “If you do one thing for me.”
“What?” you asked, turning your head so that you could look at him slightly.
“Show me those pretty, perfect tits,” he said in your ear, running the knife between them again. “Outside of that baby doll.”
“And what would you do for me in return?” you asked, turning around in his grip and looking into that mask. “Let me live?”
“Maybe,” he said, looking you up and down. “But first, I’ll just show you my face if you do. Let’s start there, yeah?”
You smirked at him, lowering the thin straps of the baby doll and biting your lip. “You’re probably some total asshole under there. I mean, who calls random women at nine on a Friday night, stalks them, then breaks into their house?”
“Keep going,” he said, his eyes on your breasts. “Show me.”
“You’re a real pervert, you know that?” you said.
“And look what you’re doing,” he said smugly. “Giving into me.”
“You came here to kill me,” you said. “I know that to be true, but it seems like you changed your mind. Why?”
“Because why would I waste such a good set of tits?” he asked. “And I know that pussy of yours is also perfect.”
You swallowed, but smirked as you pulled the baby doll down. You exposed your breasts to him, and heard him suck in a breath. That wasn’t scripted; it was his genuine reaction. You bit your lip again, smiling as you stood before him. He took the knife and dragged it over one erect nipple, causing you to shiver and moan slightly. That also wasn’t scripted or an act, and you knew that whatever happened from this point onward, it was going to be genuine. Well, aside from the basic acts they wanted you to perform on each other, but the reactions? It would be all you, and him.
“Like what you see?” you asked, shaking them a bit as he groaned.
“Fuck yes,” he said, his ringed hands coming up to grope them. You moaned a little, head tipping slightly as he massaged them in his hands. “I guess I need to hold up my end of the bargain, too, huh?”
“Mmm hmm,” you said, mewling as he gave your nipples a soft pinch. “Shit…”
He stepped back, and you whined at the loss of contact. He lifted the mask with one hand, revealing his face underneath. You acted as though you were surprised to see just how sexy he really was, and his pierced tongue came out between his lips with a devils-horn gesture at the top of his head. You smiled, moving closer to him and running your hands down his chest as he looked you up and down again. Soon, he was grabbing your head forcefully, and drawing your lips to his in a passionate, hard kiss. It turned sloppy, your hands wandering and his, too, finding purchase on your hips as he squeezed. Your tongue played with his piercing, and you could feel the presence of the cameraman in front of you both as you made out. One hand tangled in his hair, the other palming the big bulge that was forming in the front of his pants. His hands came up, grabbing your breasts hard as you moaned into his mouth. He tugged your lower lip between his teeth, moving away to start kissing down your neck.
“You feel so big,” you breathed, mewling as his teeth found your sweet spot. “Fuck…”
“You have no idea,” he said, pulling your body to his before grabbing your ass. “I want you so bad.”
“Come on,” you said, taking his hand and leading him into the living room. You pushed him down on the couch, straddling his lap before grinding against his dick. “You know what I want you to do?”
“What?” he panted.
“Want you to rip this thing off of me,” you said in his ear, tugging the lobe in your teeth.
“Oh?” he asked, grabbing the back of it and tearing it down the middle. “Like that?”
“Mmm hmm,” you hummed, kissing his neck as he moaned. “And I want you to put the mask back on.”
“Okay,” he said, smirking before his face disappeared beneath the Ghostface mask again.
“You know what else I want?” you asked, moaning as you continued to glide along his clothed erection.
“Hm?”
“I want that big, thick cock down my throat.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Mmm hmm.”
“Then what are you waiting for?”
You could hear the smirk in his voice, and it would have infuriated you under any other circumstances. Right then, though, you were too turned on to care. You moved from your spot on his lap to slide to your knees, keeping your eyes on him as you did so. You palmed the bulge in his pants again, feeling how hard he was and suppressing a moan. He watched you from beneath the mask, both of his arms stretched along the back of the couch as you pulled his pants down. His breathing picked up a bit as you put your mouth over his cock through his boxers, and soon, you were pulling those down, too. He was exposed to you now, all nine inches of his thick, pierced, flushed erection at your mercy. As per the script, you teased him a little, sucking on his piercing before swirling your tongue around his slit. He mewled, panting as you took the tip in your lips and sucked eagerly. His arms remained on the back of the couch, not moving yet as you started planting messy, noisy, open mouthed kisses all over the entire length of his cock. You moved farther down to take his big balls into your mouth as well, sucking on them with a moan as you jerked him off skillfully. He was panting a little more heavily now, and you traced his large vein with your tongue as you made your way back up his length.
“Don’t fucking tease me,” he growled.
“Sorry, uh…” you said. “I don’t know what to call you.”
“You can call me Daddy,” he said, reaching down with one hand to stroke your cheek. “And what shall I call you, huh?”
“Anything you want,” you said with a wink, spitting on his cock and jerking him off. “Such a big dick, fuck.”
“What did I say about teasing?” he asked, tilting your chin up with the knife.
“Sorry, Daddy,” you said, opening your mouth and taking his entire cock.
You gagged for a moment until you got your reflex under control, which was something you’d gotten good at in the business. You could feel him in your throat, stretching, his piercing at the back of it as you drug your head up, then back down. He was moaning above you under the mask, his head tipped back as he tangled a hand in your hair. You looked up at him, bobbing your head slowly as you gripped his base in one hand. You began to jerk him off in time with your movements, ignoring the camera man as he came around to get some close up shots. It felt as if he wasn’t even there, that’s how into it you were starting to get. You could feel your pussy throbbing, wetness settling in the thong you still wore as you sucked him off.
“Fuck, baby,” he moaned, tugging on your hair as you hollowed your cheeks. “You’re so fucking good at that. You’re a filthy little cock slut, aren’t you? I mean, who else just gets on her knees for a man she’s just met, especially one who broke into her house to hurt her?”
You responded by twisting your wrist, eyes still on him as you sucked him off messily. Drool cascaded from his dick and onto the floor below, and your throat was starting to hurt a bit from his piercing. But he was so hot, THIS was so hot, and you couldn’t bring yourself to stop. His hips bucked upward with a loud moan, and you choked as more of his cock went down your throat again. He stroked your cheek tenderly, before yanking you off of his dick. Spit bridged your lips to the tip, and you looked up at him in surprise. Was this scripted? You couldn’t quite remember, but either way, it sent a fresh wave of arousal to your cunt.
“Rub my dick across your tits,” he said.
“Those are one of my biggest insecurities,” you replied, but did as he asked as he moaned filthily. “But you like them, huh?”
“Fuck yes,” he panted, watching as you sucked his tip again. “You’re so hot.”
“Thanks,” you said, and you continued to alternate between rubbing his dick over your breasts and sucking him off. After a little while, he forced you to stop by grabbing your jaw. “What’s wrong?”
“You’re gonna make me cum if you keep that up,” he growled. “Did I say I was ready to cum yet?”
“No, Daddy,” you said, reaching out to jerk him off. “But I can’t stop worshipping this huge, perfect dick of yours.”
He grabbed your wrist and pinned it to the couch, causing you to whine. “Let me make you feel good.”
“You already did,” he said, grabbing your spit-soaked chin in one hand and forcing you to look up into his mask. “Now, it’s my turn.”
“What do you mean?” you asked, trying to take him into your mouth again, but you were greeted by a light slap to your cheek. “What?”
“I said stop it,” he said, pushing you away as he got up off the couch. “Sit up here for me.”
You whined, but did as he said. You sat down on the couch, watching as he lifted the mask again. He kissed you hungrily, sloppily, one ringed hand squeezing your jaw before it found your throat. He choked you for a moment, and you moaned as his hands found your breasts. He massaged them skillfully, his rings cold against your heated skin, his fingers rubbing your nipples until they were hard buds. He pinched them, tugged on them, swiped his fingers across them, all while you moaned hotly in his mouth. He grabbed his plastic knife, running it over & between your breasts before dragging it over your waist and stomach.
“I’m going to show you just what I’m capable of,” he said, kissing down your neck after leaving a series of hickeys in his wake. He nipped at your collarbones, before he found your breasts. “You have the hottest body I’ve ever fucking seen.”
“All the other girls you broke in on weren’t as hot, huh?” you asked.
“Not even close,” he said, pulling one of your nipples in his mouth and sucking generously. “Such an amazing set of tits.”
“Fuck…” you whined, one hand in his hair as he tugged your nipple in his teeth. You knew the cameraman was probably getting a pretty good shot with that; Eddie was skilled, he knew what he was doing and how to work a woman’s body. You were reacting to him, wetness pooling in your thong, and you spread your legs for him as you grabbed one of his hands. “I want you to touch me. Please, I need it.”
“So needy, princess,” he said, giving your other nipple the same treatment as the last. He drug the knife down, running it over your cunt as he smirked. “I’ll bet you’re soaking wet for me, aren’t you? You’re such a depraved fucking slut, you know that? Putting out for me like this, soaking that pretty thong for me.”
“Touch me the right way and find out, asshole,” you challenged, and you could feel him grinning against your breast. “What’s so funny?”
“Nothing,” he said, smiling up at you as he started to kiss his way down your stomach. They weren’t gentle, tender kisses; they were needy, hard, bruising. You knew you’d have some marks there tomorrow. “Just that you think it’s so funny and cute to be calling me names right now, when I’ve got the upper hand.”
“Who says you’ve got the upper hand?” you asked, and he slapped your thigh hard as you yelped. “You didn’t have to do that!”
“Shut up,” he snarled, kneeling in front of you and spreading your legs as wide as they would go. He peeled off your thong, and the cameraman moved behind him to get a shot of your pussy. “Fuck, look at that. So fucking pretty and so goddamn wet.”
“I can’t help it,” you said, shivering as he ran the knife over your bare cunt. “Daddy…”
“I’m going to make you fucking scream, baby,” he said, and he immediately began to devour you.
You had never been eaten out like that before, either off camera or on. The way his pierced tongue moved through your cunt, so skillful and hungry, had you moaning loudly. You usually had to fake your moans, or at the very least, over exaggerate them. Not now; right now, every single noise that fell from your lips was genuine. He was devouring you, his tongue flicking your clit with every drag upward, his hands gripping your thighs tight enough to leave more bruises. You reached down to grab his hair, and he moaned as you pulled it roughly. His piercing dragged through your saturated folds, slowly and teasingly, before he pressed it tightly against your clit. More wetness soaked his face, and his fingers soon joined the mix. The cameraman was getting some great shots, and Eddie began to fuck you roughly on his fingers while his mouth did its magic.
“Fuck, you’re so good,” you gasped, rutting against his face as you clenched around his fingers. “I need more.”
“More?” he asked, his free hand dragging the knife over your thigh. “How much more? I’m giving you all I can, you greedy whore.”
“I want more,” you insisted, your eyes nearly rolling back as he started sucking on your clit. “Please…”
“Is this what you want?” he asked, gathering some of your wetness on the fingers of his free hand and pushing a finger inside of your ass. “Huh?”
“Yes,” you gasped, looking down into his big brown eyes as he started to eat your pussy again. “Fuck, please…”
He took his fingers out of your cunt, instead focusing on your ass. He shook his head back & forth rapidly, growling, his eyes still trained on your face. You kept looking down at him, playing with your breasts as his tongue swirled your clit. You tugged your nipples, and soon he was slapping your hand away with his free one to take over. He squeezed it, massaging it, pinching the nipple as hard as he could. You cried out, and you could feel the familiar sensation in your lower stomach that indicated an orgasm was imminent. He kept going, lapping at your pussy as if his life depended on it, shaking his head occasionally, using his piercing to his advantage. He began to fuck you on his tongue as he fingered your ass, moaning as more of your taste flooded his tongue.
“So fucking good,” he mumbled, moaning as he reached down to jerk himself off. “I’m going to fucking cum just from eating your pussy.”
“I’d rather you cum inside of me,” you said. “I wanna feel that big dick in my tight, wet pussy right now. Wanna feel you pumping me full of cum, and feel how good you are inside of me. Please.”
“You’d rather cum around my dick?” he asked, raising a brow at you.
“Mmm hmm,” you said. “But you gotta put the mask back on.”
“Tired of my face already?” he teased, pulling his finger out and putting the mask back on. “Alright, have it your way. How do you want me to fuck you?”
“From behind,” you said.
“Just like a disgusting fucking whore, huh?” he asked, slapping your ass as you stood up. “I’m going to make you feel so fucking good, baby.”
“Then do it,” you said. “Stop talking about it and just do it already, asshole.”
He slapped your ass hard, leaving a large red handprint in his wake. You yelped but giggled, wiggling your ass toward him as he spanked it again. He held the knife to your throat, pulling you up by your head as his mouth found your ear. You could feel his giant cock throbbing against your ass, and knew he was close already. But if everything you heard about his reputation was true, you knew that didn’t mean anything. He could apparently hold off for quite awhile, even that close, and you were looking forward to having him inside of you. In fact, you needed it more than you ever needed anything. You were tired of doing films with men who had average or below average dicks; they didn’t do anything for you, and you always had to fake it. But with Eddie? You highly doubted you would have that problem.
“Keep calling me that and I’ll slit your fucking throat,” he said in your ear, pressing the hard plastic a little more firmly to your throat. “You’re in no position right now to be a fucking bitch.”
“I think I am,” you said, grinning smugly at him as you pushed back against his cock. “You’ve got me right where you want me, right? So, instead of making empty threats and being a douchebag, why don’t you just fuck me?”
He slapped your ass hard again, dragging the knife across your throat ever so gently. “You’re fucking lucky I think you’re so hot. Otherwise, I would be ending this right fucking now by cutting you wide open.”
“Fuck me already!” you said. “You’re–”
You were cut off by a loud moan as you felt him pushing inside of you. You cried out as his thick length stretched your pussy, and you could feel his piercing deep inside. He held onto your hips to anchor himself, bending you over the couch as he pushed himself deeper. You nearly screamed as you felt that piercing on your cervix, but it hurt so good. You reached down and squeezed his hand, and you could tell that he was trying hard not to break character to hold your hand. He had to know how it felt, and you could tell that he was holding back, even still. The director seemed not to notice, though; he just instructed his cameraman to get a shot of his cock buried deep inside of your pussy. He was almost fully inside, and it took you a minute to adjust to how it felt. Never had you been this full, never had anything felt so good, and you weren’t sure how long YOU would be able to last. He was moaning behind you, and you felt his dick twitch. That caused you to moan filthily, and you looked behind your shoulder into his masked face, a smirk on your own.
“What are you waiting for, Daddy?” you asked, biting your lip. “Fuck me.”
He started to thrust, keeping them slow and shallow at first. The cameraman looked up questioningly, and the director simply shrugged and instructed him to keep filming. You moaned, feeling that piercing against your cervix again with every movement inward. He kept hold of your hips, and soon, he was fucking you a little harder. You knew that he was making sure you were okay first, something that he seemingly didn’t do with any of his other costars. Maybe he found a soft spot for you, or maybe the rest of them were used to taking dicks his size. Either way, you thought the gesture of going off script was rather touching, and you looked back at him with a smile. You couldn’t tell if he was reciprocating, but the sharp thrust inside of you somehow told you that he was.
“You’re so fucking tight and wet,” he said, starting to absolutely DRILL you as you nearly screamed. “Listen to that, can you hear it?”
You could. As he fucked into you harder, you could hear just how wet you truly were for him. His fingers dug into your skin, his breath in your ear, and you just moaned as you clenched hard around him. That caused him to groan, and you smirked as you did it again. This brought another loud crack to your ass, and you yelped as the knife made another appearance at your throat.
“Stop doing that,” he growled. “You needy bitch.”
“Sorry,” you said, but did it again.
He stopped thrusting, putting the knife down to grab your throat with his hands. He choked you for a moment, chuckling darkly as you kept clenching around him. He began to move again but kept his grip, letting go only when you started clawing at his hands. He reached around to grope your breasts, rubbing the nipples as he absolutely pounded you against the couch. He was panting and groaning, the sounds filling the air as the cameraman got another shot of him fucking into you. You could feel your lower stomach tightening, but you weren’t ready for this to be over yet. Fuck, he felt so goddamn good; you never wanted it to end. You would have been content going on forever just like this, with him inside of you as you whined desperately. He knew you were getting desperate, too; he reached down, rubbing your clit in hard, fast circles as you cried out. You clenched again, his hands now on your shoulders as you braced against the couch. He drilled your needy, soaking cunt, each bump to your cervix causing you to moan even louder.
“Cum for me,” he said. “Show me just how much you fucking love what I’m doing to you. Show me what a greedy whore you are for my cock.”
You moaned, and were shocked to see that he was pulling out of you. The director was about to intervene, but Eddie was pushing you onto your back on the couch. He lifted your legs to his shoulders and pushed inside of you again, causing you to moan hotly as he filled you up again. The director stopped and instructed the cameraman to keep going, and you looked up into his masked face with a look of pleasure on yours. You arched under him, writhing, your hands finding his clothed back and digging your nails into the fabric. He pounded you hard, the new angle causing him to hit into your sweet spot. He didn’t use his entire cock this time; instead, he decided to get creative, and fucked directly into your G-spot. The feel of the piercing against it was so fucking good, and you tore at his dark shirt as he pounded against you.
“That’s it,” he cooed, the strokes of his cock remaining shallow and deep as your mouth fell slack. “Cum around my cock, princess.”
“Fuck,” you whined, your jaw still open as your head tipped back. “I’m gonna cum so hard, Daddy.”
“Cum for me,” he coaxed, his fingers rubbing hard circles on your clit again. “Do it for me. Show me how desperate you are to let some stranger fuck you like this.”
Tears began to leak out of your eyes. They weren’t bad; it was just so much, so overwhelming. You could tell that he was having doubts, so you sat up slightly to bury your face in his neck. He groaned, thrusting harder before pushing you back down. He pinned you to the couch, both of his large hands holding you down as he mercilessly pounded you. More tears leaked from your eyes, and he laughed wickedly under the mask.
“What’s wrong?” he taunted. “Is my dick too big for you, you disgusting slut? Can’t take it all?”
“No, i can,” you said, trying to get out of his grip.
“Then take it and cum for me,” he coaxed, fucking you as hard as he could. “Go ahead, show me you can do it.”
It didn’t take much more for you to cum. A few more strokes of his cock, a few more swipes with his fingers, and that was it. You screamed in pleasure, and none of that was exaggerated or fake, either. You squirted around him twice, and the director was staring in awe as the cameraman caught everything. You kept arching, moaning, bucking up against him as he continued to pound into you. He was panting above you under the mask, moaning as you felt him twitch inside of you. He was fighting hard to keep going, but you knew he was going to lose that fight very soon. You reached down and took his knife, holding it up with a smirk.
“You wanna hold this to my throat again?” you asked. ��Maybe that would get you off.”
He took it and did just that, holding it on your throat as he pounded you. You moaned, clenching around him, bucking your hips up against his thrusts to aid him. He looked down at your breasts, then back to where the knife was held to your throat, and you felt him twitch twice. You knew it was coming and, sure enough, it did a moment later. He came hard inside of you, moaning through it, his head bowed as he allowed his orgasm to take him over. He continued to thrust until it was done, stopping and nearly collapsing on top of you before pulling out. But he wasn’t finished, and you already knew what was coming because of the script. He pulled you to a sitting position and opened your legs, eyeing your dripping cunt as he rubbed the knife between both of his hands.
“Look at that,” he said, running his fingers through your sensitive pussy before he knelt in front of you. “I made such a mess of you, didn’t I?”
“Mmm hmm,” you said, moaning as he lifted his mask. “What are you gonna do about it?”
“I think you know,” he said, dragging the knife over your thigh again before he started eating you out once more. “I’m nowhere close to being fucking done with you, you fucking slut. If you think that I am, then you’d better think again.”
“So much for scary movies, huh?” you asked, moaning as he began to devour your pussy even more desperately.
“I think this is much better,” he said, eating you out more feverishly. “You know what we should try? You know, since you’re such a filthy girl.”
“What?” you asked, moaning as he fucked you on his tongue.
“Giving it to you up the ass,” he said. “I think that would be fun, don’t you agree?”
“And cut!” the director called.
You whined as Eddie broke away from you, standing up as he helped you. The director was coming onto the set to talk to the cameraman, both of them seemingly pleased with what they’d gotten. Eddie sat the mask and the knife down on the couch, grabbing a water as someone on set offered one. He handed it to you, and you accepted it with a big smile. You took a drink, and Eddie’s hand was on your shoulder in a comforting gesture. He pulled his pants back up and gestured for someone to bring over your clothes. You slipped them on once they did, and Eddie wrapped your jacket around your shoulders for you with a smile.
“Are you okay?” he asked. “I mean, I didn’t hurt you or anything, did I? I tried to be as careful–”
“No, I’m okay,” you assured him. “Really. I just wasn’t used to someone that big.”
“A lot of the women aren’t,” he said with an apologetic grin. “I always ask them to let me go in slow and careful, but they never really let me. I guess they don’t want to shatter the illusion. It’s just…you were crying, and i was so scared that i was hurting you.”
“Well, I can promise you that I’m totally fine,” you said, taking another sip of the water. “Do you think we did well enough for them?”
“Oh, I think we did,” he said with a chuckle.
“Something tells me they’ll be asking us to do another one together very soon,” you said.
“In that case,” he said, smiling as he leaned closer to you and offered an arm. “How about I buy you dinner? I know I’ve worked up a hell of an appetite tonight.”
You grinned, taking his arm with a nod. “Yeah, I’d like that a lot.”
____________
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