#even if i have the inspiration and i have the motivation..when i get there and i try to Conceptualize Ideas
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Origin Story
Pairing: Alpha Alexia Putellas/Omega Reader, Omega Mapi LeĆ³n/Omega Reader, Alpha Ingred Engen/Omega Reader,
Summary: You get invited to a Barca game by an Alpha at your school who wouldn't accept.
Tags/Warnings: Dubious consent, Bathroom sex, scent marking,
Note: Only is Mapi the only one in this but there will probs be a part 2 with the rest of the pack.
The only reason I've been writing lately is @insomniakisses who definitely doesn't know I exist but I love their blog.
Something about their writing has inspired me for better or worse.
Wordcount: 1.1K
When you got invited to the Barca vs Real Madrid Game by a girl at your college of course you accepted.Ā She was in a couple of your classes but all you knew about her is that she is an alpha and is kind of a dick. But you would be crazy not to know how expensive tickets are and surely she canāt be as bad as everyone says. But this girl surely has another motive for inviting you. It will come to light soon as you sit next to each other in the crowded stadium. Her scent is aggressive forward and fills the space around you it's almost like Lily and maybe an undertone of patchouli. Overall not the best when you're already surrounded by unfamiliar scents.Ā
You canāt help but grow excited as they walk out. Okay, so you may have a major crush on some of the players. By some you mean most but it makes since itās pretty common knowledge that the different teams are packs. Which makes transfers even more devastating. Even so, everyone knows that Barca has two omegas already which is already more than most other packs. They differently donāt need another which is devastating to you but it's not like you could ever be with them anyway. Itās rare for a Futbal pack to mate with someone outside of the football world.
Itās around 20 minutes in before Maddie, whose name youāve just learned, takes off her sweater revealing that she is wearing a Real Madrid jersey. āAre you seriously wearing that right now?ā You ask incredulously. āYa Real Madrid is going to win, I promise you. They are the superior team,ā she responded as if you were stupid for thinking any different. āBarca is definitely better, they have a stacked roster.ā You argue back, growing more annoyed. Most likely due to her attitude problem and overwhelming scent. āReal Madrid will winā She seems so assured of herself as if she can already see the outcome of the game. āThat's never going to happen. I bet you Barca will win and If they donāt I will write your next essay for you.ā. āDealā
It's not even 10 minutes later that Hansen scores and you're left with a smile on your face. Itās a good feeling to know your rights. Maybe youāll pick up a sweet treat on the way home. You deserve it after dealing with this idiot. But it's all worth it for free tickets. āI told youā You gloat but only a little. āThey're going to pull through one goal doesnāt mean anything,ā Maddie responds sharpley her scent turning sour. āOne goal can be the difference between winning and losingā You count to praud her mostly for your amusement. ā You think I donāt know that. I know football better than you.ā She growls her fangs obvious in her aggressive state. So maybe you fucked with her a little too much but god it was so funny. āSorry,ā You startle as Pajor scores. You definitely made the right choice when picking a team to support.
By the end of the game, you are bursting with excitement a 5-0 win is crazy. You can feel Maddie seething beside you but it doesnāt sour your mood. As you move to stand at the barricade watching the players trade jerseys and such. Then Mapi Leon comes to your section and you're practically vibrating as she strips off her jersey. She walks closer to you her scent is so strong probably from running for so long. ā Would you like it?ā She asks looking directly into your eyes. It's like a shock to your system āYesā You take it from her gratefully and she flashes a toothy grin. āYou so pretty princessā Her voice is so low. āThank youā You canāt help but blush as she sprints off to join her team.
You gather up your things and walk out of the stadium with Maddie. You are starting to feel overheated and are growing quickly annoyed by Maddie.Ā Her mood has only seemed to worsen since the end of the game. The heated feeling only grows as you move through the stadium. āIām going to run to the bathroom before we leave.ā You split off from Maddie not waiting to hear her response. You have all your things if she leaves you it wonāt be the end of the world. You slip into the bathroom and lock yourself in. You lean against the wall and take a deep breath of the jersey. It smells strongly of citrus and has an undertone of cinnamon. It soothes some of the heat under your skin.
You startle as the bathroom opens and someone else steps inside. It takes a moment for their scent to register. Citrus and cinnamon same as the jersey. You open the stall door and peek out to see Mapi standing by the door looking directly at you. āI thought I could smell you in hereā She hurried towards you and pushed you back into the stall. āWhat are you doingā You ask dropping the jersey as she grabs your wrist. āI couldnāt stop thinking about you. You smell so goodā She nuzzles her face into your neck. āLet me have you pleaseā She whispers her accent thicker than before. āYou want me but you have Ona if you want an omegaā You reason. Sure you want this but you want her to think clearly. āI can and have had Ona but I want you. Once I have had you im sure they will want you as well.ā she pushes you into the wall and slides a hand down your pants. Her fingers trace along your cunt through your underwear. āSay yes please I need youā She whimpers into your shoulder tonguing at your scent gland. āYes. Yes pleaseā you moan rolling your hips against her hand. She slides her fingers past your underwear to rub at your clit. āTake me please I need it too bad.āYou moan grinding against her. āShh you can have it seeā she slips two fingers inside you with ease. It makes you uncomfotbly aware of how slick you are. It only last a second before shes distracting you by moving her fingers and using her other hand to rub at you clit.
You cum twice before Mapi finally lets up. As you catch you breath she is collecting your things and straightening out your clothes and hair. ā Come with me we are having dinner tonight. Please,ā she asks tacting on the please almost as an afterthought. āI'll go but I've got school tomorrow and I really canāt afford to miss any more of my lectures this semester.ā You explain as the two of you head out of the stall. Mapi stops to wash her hands before leading you out of the stadium.
#woso x reader#woso community#woso fanfics#woso imagine#woso soccer#woso one shot#woso#mapi leĆ³n#mapi leon x reader
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i've noticed that some frankenstein adaptions that include walton (the only good ones āļøš¤) choose to depict him as a naval officer (aesthetically, at the very least ā one of my favourite examples is in the 2018 manchester royal exchange theatre production because well. LOOK AT HIM)
this phenomena is so interesting to me because he is explicitly Not that, textually
on one hand i get it because the correlation between polar exploration and the navy especially during the 18th and 19th centuries is there and makes sense; itās an easy connection to make if you just want walton āon screenā and a visual short hand for the reason behind the type of journey heās making (i.e. discovery service expedition to the arctic sent by the admiralty) without any real exploration of his character and the inner thoughts that he communicates to margaret (and ultimately the reader) through his letters
but walton himself makes the claim very early in his narrative that his voyage is entirely independent, and that he basically funded the entire thing himself (with a little help from his cousin, whoever they are/were). most importantly, because he was prohibited from going to sea as a boy by his father, he served on whaling ships for years to train himself mentally and physically:
Six years have passed since I resolved on my present undertaking. I can, even now, remember the hour from which I dedicated myself to this great enterprise. I commenced by inuring my body to hardship. I accompanied the whale-fishers on several expeditions to the North Sea; I voluntarily endured cold, famine, thirst, and want of sleep; I often worked harder than the common sailors during the day and devoted my nights to the study of mathematics, the theory of medicine, and those branches of physical science from which a naval adventurer might derive the greatest practical advantage. Twice I actually hired myself as an under-mate in a Greenland whaler, and acquitted myself to admiration. I must own I felt a little proud when my captain offered me the second dignity in the vessel and entreated me to remain with the greatest earnestness, so valuable did he consider my services.
his voyage is motivated not by any sort of command from above by lifelong ambition and self-interest. he considers what he can contribute to science and maritime navigation, which, granted, serves his country as much as it serves him; but to me it is primarily his passion for the sublime beauty that the arctic represents, even if the reality is much more dangerous than he could have predicted, that drives him forward. he needs to see it for himself, to know that he can do it, no matter the cost (sound like someone else we know?)
if i had to draw a comparison between walton and any real-life polar explorer from around the time frankenstein was written it would be william scoresby, an english scientist who began his own career on whaling ships (ironically he thought the open polar sea theory that walton espouses was complete bs ā and he was right, lmao)
janice cavellās article āThe Sea of Ice and the Icy Sea: The Arctic Frame of Frankensteinā has a lot more to say on this topic and iād highly recommend it but i just have to include this extract here because i was so delighted to learn about some of the real people who likely inspired walton in shelleyās mind:
Here, then, was material for both the Creature's journey and Walton's doomed mission. Moreover, here Mary found a surname for her Arctic captain in the list of officers who served under Vitus Bering in 1733-41: Peter Lassenius, William Walton, Dmitri Laptiew, Jego Jendauro, Dmitri Owzin, Swen Waxel, Wasili Prontischischtschew, Michailo Plautin, and Alexander Scheltinga. Walton, the sole Englishman on this list of exotically named foreigners, was in command of the Hope (MĆ¼ller, 1761:15, 26; on William Walton, see Cross, 2007:177-178). The ship's name reflects the most prominent characteristic of the fictional Walton, whose first name, Robert, may have been taken from Robert Thorne, the 16th-century originator of the open polar sea theory. Even though Walton's theories about the Arctic are opposed to Scoresby's, Mary may have intended to acknowledge Scoresby's status as both a whaler and a man of science when she had Walton train himself for his chosen career through whaling voyages.
like! the Real Waltonās ship being named the Hope and āthe shipās name reflects the most prominent characteristic of the fictional Waltonā ohhhh i am NOT going to cry donāt LOOK at me
anyway this post doesnāt really have much of a point. i guess tl;dr i just think itās more interesting that walton is canonically just some overly ambitious guy with big dreams and more money than he knows what to do with who is willing to hang out on gross whaling ships for half a decade rather than pursue the more respectable maritime profession because he wants what he wants on his own terms and no one elseās
#and he is real for that tbh#robert walton#frankenstein#mary shelley#i have so many thoughts about him and you WILL read them š«µ#if youāre so inclined#walton tag#basically importing this from a thread i made on twitter but itās something i think about a lot#this is what happens when you read academic articles that combine two of your special interests for fun#william scoresby#polar exploration#could have got into the polar exploration as imperialism angle but that's a whooooole other post#brainstormed most of this while rewatching the endurance documentary#the walton/shackleton parallels..... nay i cannot i will be here for DAYSSSSS
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(on Gay Hairo being canon)
-True, thereās no evidence that Hairo isnāt gay. You got me thereā¦ thatās certainly an Implication in that one chapter, considering Saikiās reaction.
That said, his ass always being out is not *inherently* gay. I donāt see anything that points to the gag being consistently associated with sexuality in any way. (other than Saikiās occasional comment.)
(on Saikiās āhypnosisā)
-I feel like we have this same conversation every so often; I apologize in advance if Iām just repeating myself, lmao.
āHypnosisā is his ability to make people look like someone else in canon. I used that word the wrong way, didnāt I. Sorry.
It is separate from āmind control,ā which I keep confusing it with, which Kusuo used to make things like his pink hair and limiters normal. He also used it to make it normal for students to have jobs, and to make anime tropes such as quicker healing, the ātonā to the back of the neck effective, and destruction of property quickly fixable (I donāt get that one tbh.)
Yeah, come to think of it, āhypnosisā in the sense of making someone else ignore him, is fanon. Youāre right.
That said, Kusuo has a lot of weird perception altering powers. He can use hypnosis to make people look like each other, he can cause an auditory hallucination of music (presumably with his telepathy), he can use mind control to make people believe that things are normal (which in turn somehow changes the world itself.) For whatever reason, people do not notice the year repeating itself again and again as he periodically rewinds time. I canāt find it but I swear somewhere in the manga (is it the anime?) thereās a scene where a guy thinks to himself that Saikiās limiters are strange, and we are told that he rationalizes it away due to Kusuoās powers. (presumably his āmind control,ā which begs the question, if he actually permanently changed their perception of reality, why should they have to rationalize at all?)
I thought it was somewhere in the early chapters but couldnāt find it when I looked. Argh. But yeah I think thatās why I keep confusing the two. Because at one point, thereās some weird implications due to this one guy reacting to Kusuoās limiters.
(on Teruhashiās power to make people āfall in love w/ her on sightā)
-Yes, I agree āparasocial relationshipā comes closer to what Teruhashi inspires in her followers and the men around her.
(on Saiki being affected by Teruhashiās beauty)
-Okay, I can see where youāre going with the Teruhashi affecting Saiki point, now. I made some incorrect assumptions about what you meant by that sentence.
I think Teruhashiās good amounts to being nice. Even though they are often done with ulterior motives, her actions have kind effects at least, if that makes sense.
I mean? It seems to improve their behavior, at least whenever she is around? Like the gag with Rifuta, who asks two boys to walk her to the cafeteria, and they start fighting, but they make up and agree to do it together when Teruhashi chastises them for it. So sheās like their external conscience.
After she leavesā¦ debatable. haha. But I do think she has some sort of power that basically amounts to ļæ½ļæ½ļæ½make people behave as though they are their best selves due to her beautyā while around her specifically. (Whichā¦ I donāt know how I feel about that. But thatās what I think.) And Kusuo isnāt affected by that, because he has his own internal moral compass that he basically refuses to compromise on.
Yeahā¦ after she leaves, Iād say theyāre back to stumbling around in the dark, morally speaking. Sheās still very much doing good, but even though her sphere of āgoodā is limited to when she is personally involved. I think thatās part of what makes her ego so bad. Because she truly thinks people can only be their best selves when she is around. Which is why she likes Saiki, because her presence doesnāt effect his actions or morals in the least.
That would definitely be interesting! I wonder how he lost his visionā¦ what was able to injure Saikiās eyes? At the volcano scene he is pushed to his absolute limit, so maybe itās some natural disaster like that.
I'm not a fan of soulmates in romantic fiction because it's basically arranged marriage with extra supernatural noncon/dubcon elements.
However, in the Saiki universe, the soulmate connection seems to lack pretty much all of those problematic elements.
We have to do a little extrapolating from what we see in canon since this aspect of Aiura's powers is not covered in detail, but:
Soulmates do not seem to be guaranteed to ever meet, considering the fact that Aiura specifically looked up her soulmate and that one guy who was linked to someone in a remote African village that would almost certainly never cross paths with him.
Being with your soulmate is completely optional, otherwise Aiura wouldn't bother providing relationship scoring and just tell each person to go find their soulmate. This allows for a lot of narrative opportunities to explore why someone would consciously choose to not be with their soulmate, and also opens up the door for polyamory.
Soulmates do not instantly fall in love, and are not forced to stay in love by any supernatural powers. Aiura didn't think anything of Saiki until he flawlessly saved Yumehara's life like 10x in a row, and Saiki certainly didn't fall for Aiura right away either. They fought over their values strongly enough that it would've been a breakup if they'd ever been together.
Soulmate status just seems to indicate particularly good chemistry, and like the rest of Aiura's powers, is purely informational and not determinative. Presumably soulmates have the highest possible compatibility scores, and it's kinda cool that it seems guaranteed there's at least 1 person out there who will jive with you, but also plenty of other people you can connect with to various degrees.
With Saiki and Aiura specifically, it's shown that Saiki can change the future Aiura sees as soon as he hears about it. It may even be possible for him to change the soulmate determination, and he certainly could've used Time Leap to fool Aiura into thinking someone else was her soulmate if he was really opposed to the concept. She had scryed it recently, so the butterfly effect shouldn't be a challenge.
But they do work so smoothly together with their powers complementing each other, and Saiki is kind of a lonely romantic tsundere at heart, so it makes sense that he would let the soulmate thing play out and yet test the connection by pushing Aiura away as much as possible.
Actually, considering that Saiki can't control people's actions directly (and that he sucks at trying to control people indirectly), the strongest noncon/dubcon force in the Saikiverse shockingly appears to be Teruhashi's beauty.
The only male character that doesn't seem at all affected by Teruhashi's powers is Hairo, most likely because of his heavily implied homosexuality. Women attracted to other women are also impacted by her power, as seen with Aiura.
While Saiki says that married people aren't affected by Teruhashi, Kuniharu does actually show several signs of being affected by Teruhashi, and so does Kumagoro.
All affected people instantly fall in love with her on sight, no exceptions.
Critical thinking ability appears to drop precipitously when it comes to her, with her fans accepting that she had a secret child with Saiki despite being in school with her every day and that she can just choose not to poop for a week. More effective mind control than anything Saiki can do tbh.
The instant Saiki loses some of his powers, he starts being affected by Teruhashi's beauty.
The narrative supports Saiki's theory that Teruhashi is literally favored by God and can affect reality just by hoping for something. The implication that God is (physically??) attracted to Teruhashi and does whatever she wants is.... yikes on several levels. If she asks for someone to love her, do they get a choice in the matter??
Anyways, there are way more elements of noncon/dubcon with Teruhashi ships than there are with actual canon soulmate mechanics in the Saikiverse and that's just such a wild choice by the author lol.
Truly subverting tropes!
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Forgot to post this here butttt
Working on a welcome home animation and mighttttt take me a while
#the idea is just wally getting the barnaby plush and thats kinda it#i did plan this before when i ordered the wally plush (sep 8 2023) but didnt have the motivation and stuff for it#its inspired by the image of wally peaking out of homes side window with the text below āthere he is!ā not sure if its wally saying it#either wally noticed someone or someone noticed him but anyway#i saw that image and was thinking to make an animation of it instead of the āthere he is!ā text its going to say āhe's here.ā#i also realized i might need to voice that only line or even make sounds for the backgroundš#i already was close to finishing background 2 (where eddie will be seen walking to wallys house) but my tablet died#grrrrrr#also unrelated but i wrote in my book todayyy (i never write at all) but hey its kinda fun to write my ideas huahahahaah#i plan on doing some research on welcome home and write it down (maybe even some theories hmm??) also doing research on the characters#just to try to get to know them more (cuz i have been crazy for them for AGES and still feel like i haven't done enough)#oh yeah CALL ME CRAZYYY butttt since the irl world sucks i plan on making little writings like im IN welcome home just because idk#more explaining and better ones on my tiktok vid description (user in my bio)#also i feel like things might be getting better for me cuz wowie i never thought id be animating again#but now all this motivation...so many ideas appearing...need to focus on one at a time...darn#HEY! 12 days till a break from the evil cell of educational purposes??? (school) FINALLY PURE HEAVEN I CAN BE FREE WITHOUT SUFFERING#welcome home#partycoffin#wally darling#welcome home arg#welcome home fanart#welcome home wally#7 backgrounds left to do...then ill have to animate...oh evilllll so evillll
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Posting this here becuz I need to post something- (and also becuz I really LOVE how it came outā”)
A lil sumthing for my wife becuz I love heršššš
#Iāve noticed after I spend my time with my gal my art somehow magically comes back to life#Iām just in a really good mood after and have a little bit more motivation#she heals me#completely#and I just get even more inspired to draw when she shows me some of her art (or even just watching her draw tooš¤š©·)#also tried out my new brush pack for this! I already LOVE themšš#will I draw like this again?#I HOPE SO#I NEED MY ARTING BACK#art#digital art#drawing#artwork#tlb#tlb insert#the lost boys#the lost boys insert#tlb chrysta#Chrysta Campbell#fruitbatsš¦š
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Doodles
Low-poly Thing
Have you ever sat in a chair before.......
+ Other doodles on the same page
#moe tag#just like. warm ups? but also i don't really feel motivated or inspired.#idk what i want to do. aimless. i do have options...#i just really really like the second doodle though. also really fun when you draw something low-poly#then get like. a better idea of what pose you REALLY wanted to draw there.#at the meeting nobody asks moe to put its shoes back on bc 1 it is The Summoner and 2 exhibit B: corrin.#i also think veyle is out here barefoot too. actually. lawless lands...#moe isn't even barefoot it's doing something worse. it's still got its tights on.#was gonna make jokes about that being objectively worse to walk around Like That but Actually.#moe wouldn't be walking around like that. i think it did maybe once and then everyone was SHOCKED#at how much height it loses without the hoof heels. moe may be a proud short king but it IS ANNOYED. BY THE SPECTICAL.#FUCK OOOOOOFFFFā¼ļøā¼ļøā¼ļøā¼ļøā¼ļøā¼ļøā¼ļøā¼ļøā¼ļøā¼ļøā¼ļøā¼ļø#my art
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if i hear one more pro-ai take i fear i may start exploding people with my brain
#for legal reasons im not gonna explode anyone#but i am gonna be extremely pissed off#i think the thing that pisses me off the most about pro ai people is this sense of entitlement i see from a lot of people#like āoh well this person posted their art/writing/creativity online#so therefore the ai (and by extension me) is entitled to be able to use itā#like its not the same at all as looking at another creators work and getting inspired#or when youre learning how to shape your style#its just taking other peopleās work and passing it off as your own#like i get it sometimes youre not as good as you want to be or the motivation isnt there and you just want your ideas out there NOW#but you know what you do then?#you. fucking. practice.#if you donāt care enough to put in the effort to actually make your ideas rather than stealing for other creatives?#then i dont care at all about what you ācreateā#(obviously im not shaming people for being unable to put in effort due to any multitude of reasonsāsuch as disability lack of time etc)#but even then that doesnt mean you have to resort to stealing from other people#because thats what ai is. theft. simple as that.#generative ai just makes me so fucking angry#fuck ai#anti ai#anti ai art#stop ai#fuck ai art#down with ai#fuck ai everything#fuck ai writing#fuck ai all my homies hate ai
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Haha, this Winterkov stuff is fun- where did all these other feelings come from (Patreon)
#Doodles#And to think it's still all Winter's fault lol#I would not be feeling even a fraction of what I'm feeling if not for still being Very about him even with Petrigrof so at the forefront#He inspired a lot! How rude lol#He can't be blamed for All of it of course - the Petrigrof dynamic is extremely cute discounting him entirely lol#Throwing it into relief against Winterkov makes for some very interesting thoughts tho lol#The dynamics are different! As expected when substituting one character for another lol#But even the Winterkov dynamic can be looked at through a Petrigrof lense - of how much Simon was shaped by Betty#Of how much of him is human - how much is effected by Magic/Madness/Sadness - how they slot together and grow into themselves!#It's all interesting! They're very interesting! And in love! And cute!#Big love always gets me real bad haha āŖ I just love love - especially so when it's got some meat to it hehe#Betty and Simon are/were very good for each other and it's extremely sad that they never got to grow together into marriage et al#And/but they were also very flawed people! That would've come up at some point in their relationship even if they were overall happy#And what Simon has brought with him through the gift that Betty gave him I just jdklsafhdsf#I do really love them they have such good chemistry and fun motivations and what they end up doing in relation to each other!#Fun to dissect#Adventure Time#Simon Petrikov#Betty Grof#Petrigrof
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im exploding into a million pieces i found a reddit thread about butches in video games (specifically looking for them) in hopes that there was some kind of lesser known dream daddy-esque butch dating sim or SOMETHING cute like that and guys the fucking crumbs we have to live on you're actually killing me. im withering away why are there no kissable butches in video games im going to throw up and kill everyone. nobody wants a butch dating sim apparently. im gonna go weep in the fetal position
#everybody ignore this it's so stupid but#it's like heres a stard.ew valley mod where you can make leah butch and um idk starf.ield bg characters#and a baldgate3 character. IM CRYING WHERE ARE THE BUTCHES#'why is this making me emotional' (<- very understandable why it would make me emotional)#howling into the night sky ripping ny shirt in twain transforming into a big hairy beast bc i love butches sm#GUHHHHHHHHHH CMONNNNN#i just wanna see people's cute drawings of dykes ok. where is our version of bara#where is it please#im begginbg the universe generally#i need a hero (the song) is emanating from my pores rn. where are they we deserve so much better than this#gahhhh it's all overly palatable softgirl yuri fuckk. where are my big sweaty hairy braless deep voiced dykes im going to kill someone#when is it my turn to be happy wuagghhh#not to say i dislike softgirl yuri but i do not want to kiss them!! sorry but that is a big motivator for this#is wanting a 2d boyfriend (/dyke) because everyone else gets to have one :((#and also like. wanting to see dykes reflective of irl dykes rather than yuri for representation purposes that matter to me personally#and the gender euphoria that can often come from that but also FUCKK#nguhhhhhh oughhhhhh ahhhhhhhhgh. im such a fucking faggot im sick of this#a large chunk of the sapphic population is just completely not represented it's like they only exist in my mind#i never seen them around me either this shit sucks fuck my stupid baka life. wehehhh#exploding into a million pieces#im never expressing any kind of gay yearning again after this im done#is it too much to ask that i see people like me out there?? in many ways but tonight specifically in a butch way#ppl when they even think for a moment of making lesbian media where the dykes aren't sifted through straight attractiveness filters: š±#again a lesbian dating dim w femmes would rule as well but it's all high schoolers and vaguely anime-hot women#and thats not good enough. it's like if they give a girl a big nose they'll fucking die immediately#maybe the real reason i consume so much homoerotic buff guy media is because SOMETIMES ppl draw them as butches#(<- not the reason but maybe loosely vaguely part of the reason)#anyway this was inspired by me watching ppl react to like. a popular pretty boy dating sim#and trying to figure out some equivalent experience for me but i can't bc none of it is made for me#killing everyone and then killing them again. hatred
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#me when i have a BA in writing and also massive writer's block#i really want to write some tos fic obviously but everything just feels wrong#i guess i'm just intimidated by how much trek fic is out there and how many people have probably done the same ideas far better than me#like i know that's stupid and i should just be free but it's really REALLY getting in my way#i just feel like everything i write is cringe and sounds like smth a 14 yr old would write even though i know i'm a good writer#(again. looks at degree.)#but still#plus i have no inspiration to finish editing heaven on their minds because. well. it's not star trek.#and i'm also applying to grad school right now and have to provide writing samples ofc but all i've written over the last year is fanfic#and i have no ideas for anything original and i don't want to submit smth from over a year ago (from when i was still in school)#because it doesn't represent my writing now#i know i can just revise smth but I Have No Motivation#idk this week has also been so busy so by the time i get home and have time to write i just don't#uuugggghhhh#plus i'm waiting for a job to get back to me about my application and long story short it's been 3 months since i started the application#process and i'm still waiting#i know i'm going to get the job because i know the woman who's hiring me but i have to be approved by the government yadda yadda yadda#whatever dude whateevveerr#brb drowning my sorrows by reading spones fic#my only emotional escape has been wanting to fuck spock and bones i mean what#personal#delete later
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I'm glad to hear you're taking good care of yourself. It's not easy! And correct- that was not for the meme. Okay, here's for that: My opinion of you is that you seem to work very hard at honing your art in stylistic and skill-istic ways. I think you understand that your art is good, even when it "could be better," so I worry that you sometimes draw what will attract others because sadly, OC and older/more niche fandom art often fails to get spread around, even when it is drawn with dedication and skill. Of course, I could be wrong about your relationship to fanart- it's just an easy thing for artists to become reliant on the positive affirmation it brings. I've been in that boat and I could merely be projecting. All in all, I think you are a really special and sincere person- and you're pretty btw. Have a good dayš®
#im not allowed to reply but im gonna anyway#i think you're both right and wrong honestly#i am unable to draw things that i dont want to draw so to that point im not just drawing to attract others bc im drawing what im motivated#for in the moment#however i AM more motivated and inspired to draw the things that yield interaction#because i make art to share it with people and to feel a connection with people through art#so through that i do find myself gravitating towards a certain type of (fan)art#but with the screencap studies ive been doing lately ive been going outside my usual circle and im doing it because i am inspired by those#colours compositions use of light etc#the cinematics makes me WANt to capture it in art#meanwhile even the things i draw that i DO in fact know will be received well dont always get traction :' )#i think a lot of artists have a complex relationship to their art and especially fanart!#ive certainly had a frustrating relationship with it when i was younger#atm though im actually feeling quite good about it#i want to do too much a lot of the time though hahah and only have so much time#also since im already replying anyway even though i shouldnt: thank you for your kind words !#;; blue talks
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This fucking adventure time shit is so bizarre I havenāt gotten this engrossed in a fandom since like fucking high school. I have other shit Iām supposed to be doing!!!!! Other than just drawing and thinking about adventure time all day long for several days straight!!! I have goals!!!!! Iām supposed to doā¦.!! But I need to fucking draw adventure time I canāt STOP. What am I gonna tell my therapist when I meet him later this month and Iāve done nothing.? āSorry dudeā¦ I couldnāt progress in being a functional adult this month cuz, fucking adventure timeā¦ I had to devote my every waking moment to adventure timeā¦ I had to. I could not let 2023 summer of adventure time obsession pass me by man!! I had to embrace it..!ā Like!!!! Guhā¦.. gah!!!
#like on hand it is very fucking cool and exciting and fun to be this inspired and motivated to create for somethingā¦#especially something other ppl are also excited about! like thatās fucking awesome!#but on the other hand myā¦ obsession / rest of life balance is GONE.#im gonna try!!! since I got done drawing earlier than usually today. to get some real life shit done todayā¦#actually Iām not gonna try Iām gonna do!!!! yeah fucking positive affirmation I got this shit#still itās just funny lol#AND I DONT EVEN HAVE HBO MAX#HOW THE FUCK AM I EVEN GONNA WATCH FIONNA AND CAKE WHEN IT COMES OUT??#(i know what I am going to doā¦ I will cave and buy it. or at least use a free trial or something ghgh)#cuzā¦. Iāmā¦ gonna need to watch it when it comes out#ok anyway bye!!!!! Iām gonna go get shit done!!!!! wish me luck w ur minds ghghg!!#pepper words
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ngl i wrote like half of this one oneshot i have coming up and im still really excited about it but the motivation just disappeared overnight :( like i shit you not it's half written but to connect it i feel like ill have to make all these revisions and its just like. i want to but the adhd says no.
#its fine its fine i can do this!#someone send me an inspirational quote poster you'd find in a guidance counselor's office#also i dont want to complain abt engagement bc like. i write bc i enjoy it foremost#and im grateful for everything even likes#but at the same time its so much easier to find motivation when theres like. interaction ig? connection might be a better word#and gen fic gets ignored a lot. so. its hard to get that pressure to get myself started ig#but like i said. im excited enough about the premise that ill prooobably finish it. we just have to see when#...i should also be writing the next chapter of shifting vertebrae but like. i promised myself id finish this first#anyway. adhd is a bitch sometimes#personal
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got hit by a major soviper hfx recently and your drawings are feeding me so well, love your art ā¤ļøā¤ļø
These words warm my heart and soul sm!! Thank you!!!š„¹š
It makes me so happy that people enjoy my soviper artšā¤ļøāš©¹ I literally do it for our little fandom š¤²šš
(Btw I still looove your soviper fic sm!! Just š¤š¤š¤*chefs kiss*)
#every time someone says they like my soviper art/soviper in general/it inspires them my heart melts and I get so motivated to create moreš„¹#there r times when i think āwhy am i even doing this? this ship is almost dead and people r switching to other shipsā#but then i remember.. there r still people who like it people who wait for content to appear#and even though I'm busy with irl stuff I'll still be trying to create more content with these two#they have a very special place in my heart and will forever remain here#i really hope others could at least see how beautiful and intriguing their dynamic can be..#for now THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR WORDS!!!#it might not seem much but it brings me motivation and inspiration to continue what i've started.. i'll do my best#THANK YOU JUROUSEI!!!
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Just spiraling being like š¤Ŗš¤Ŗš¤Ŗ what am I doing with my life I miss art I miss making videos I miss making coming and animation do I really want to do law. And logically I donāt really think I would want to move away from everyone I know to move to where I would need to be to do film or tv and animation. So like. š«š« accept it. And like I think helping people is something Iām very passionate about and will make me happy and I think if I just did art and comics I would feel bad about like big things like prison abolition and how terrible people are treated in our justice system is would bother and upset me and at least I can feel productive. But idk idk what to do. I just donāt know what is my anti drepressants or what. But truly working for the knife by Mitski whenever I watch tv or see cool art I get really depressed and yearn to be doing that stuff and idk what to do??? Like did/do I define my identity to much to being an artist but idk. I want to make things I misss working with people to make things and I know as a lawyer I will collaborate a lot. A lot of what u do seems so not fun and miserable and idk idk. But Iāve spent so much money and also i going to law school allowed my friend to have housing for foreseeably 3 years. Do I just get the JD and end up completely turning around and doing fucking. Like?? Entertainment law but in my head thatās always just disneys evil lawyers idk.
#I donāt know how much of this is my depression and how much is like a real genuine I#thing bc Iāve always had problems with like since I was like 8 or even younger as long as I can remember Iāve had issues with regret being l#like after making a choice freaking out like Iāll never be able to do the other choice was this the right one like even for shit like I took#this summer camp instead of another and Iāve been able to manage as good as ai can but with this such a big decision#idk#like it was easier when I decided not to bc o to like a big art school bc that was saving money right and I could still take art classes#and major in it#here Iām loosing moneh spending so much money and i technically could do art but I donāt have time and law school mental illness I have no#inspiration motivation#and like I know I have been trouble with motivation creation like was my most depressed and mentally Iāll in high school and freshman of#college but I also created my most art then I was drawing all the time and happy and also very depressed itās hard to explain#and now I. like. I havenāt done art in so long since last summer#and peopleās housing is on me know. and ive already spent so much#money specifically im so lucky my dad is paying for my school BUT my dad is paying for my school I both want to drop out incase im#wasting his money and also I canāt waste his money I must get this degrrr#but will I be happy#idk I accidentally didnāt take my anti depressants mayeb yesterday and this morning#I took them this afternoon but Iāve also been depressed lately thatās. ahhh#Iām haha#girl help#Kelly talks
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why did the anime and the fandom reduce uraraka to just being in love with deku??
the recent chapters have truly made me fall in love with her character but im watching the anime and everything is so,, like itās honestly whiplash
every pivotal moment for her character is because she likes deku. I loved the scene of her jumping to save him and it flashed to her family and her newfound motives. I loved to see her character being more than Deku. I loved that growth and though I was disappointed when it started mentioning Deku, I realized he was important to her growing and who she is as a person. (Although I love the manga for expanding her character past her admiration for him)
And the moment they had together as they fell was genuinely touching,, there was no blushing, no over the top crush, it was real concern and care. I loved it. It made me forget all of the obnoxious belittling of her character and made me realize that they can be together without force. It was so simple and meaningful.
The anime can make jokes that donāt include uraraka blushing! They can write an interaction between these two that shows not tells. Her immediately rushing to calm him down because she knew he lost control. The way she slapped him like how she saved him in the entrance exam and then asked if it hurt. The soft smile on her face when she asked if he was okay. The way she holds him steady as he stumbles to get footing.
Itās all so subtle. And itās so refreshing after so much insufferable time the anime puts into pointing and screaming Uraraka likes Deku. Gosh itās such a good moment aaa
But then it went back to cheapening her character and continuing to push her towards this arc of mundanity. She wants to be a hero that helps people!!! LET HER BE THAT!! goodness gracious stop making every single thing she does go back to deku. STOP CIRCLING BACK TO WHERE SHE STARTED ANIME PLEASEEEE
#i also donāt like that it keeps focusing on her things with deku when she is more than that#itās so frustrating#because I love her#but at the same time they keep reminding me she likes deku every second and it turned me away from her character years back#I love her now but god the problem is still bugging me#and it makes me roll my eyes every time they have a scene together#even if itās genuine#but I wish that wasnāt the case#because I think these two would be great together (platonically or romantically)#but I just canāt with the poor writing of forcing a relationship that is so one-sided?? or at least not as important to deku#like they need to pick a side with her#either go the heart wants what the heart wants no matter what approach that could tie back to deku and shinsou#or let her let him go like she keeps saying sheās going to#I would like the latter but at least the former would give a coherent understanding of her character and motivations#like why does deku and bakugou and todoroki and iida get to have complex relationships and motives and wants#and explanations and thought and writing put into those while also having time and effort put in#while Uraraka is be in love with deku or be like deku#she is MORE THAN DEKU OH MH FUCKING GOD I CANT WITH THIS SHOW#LET HER BE HER OWN WOMAN AND LET HER THINK FOR HERSELF WHAT IS WITH ALL THE GIRLS THINKING OF WHAT THE BOYS WOULD DO IN THEIR SITUATION#why canāt she have a moment of inspiration and then imbede that into her personal story and ambitions instead of making everything about him#they didnāt make todoroki like this so why did they do this to her#grrrr bark bark#im just upset ig that such an intriguing character that grows to be a person for the people has to have every action because of deku#she is great and I really like the direction her character is going and I wouldnāt mind them being endgame#but as the writing is now#I kinda donāt like this forced romance that could be so nuanced and powerful if it put in the effort and time that I know hori can do#bnha#bnha uraraka#izuocha#bnha critical
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