#thing bc I’ve always had problems with like since I was like 8 or even younger as long as I can remember I’ve had issues with regret being l

[asexualjedi]

Just spiraling being like 🤪🤪🤪 what am I doing with my life I miss art I miss making videos I miss making coming and animation do I really want to do law. And logically I don’t really think I would want to move away from everyone I know to move to where I would need to be to do film or tv and animation. So like. 🔫🔫 accept it. And like I think helping people is something I’m very passionate about and will make me happy and I think if I just did art and comics I would feel bad about like big things like prison abolition and how terrible people are treated in our justice system is would bother and upset me and at least I can feel productive. But idk idk what to do. I just don’t know what is my anti drepressants or what. But truly working for the knife by Mitski whenever I watch tv or see cool art I get really depressed and yearn to be doing that stuff and idk what to do??? Like did/do I define my identity to much to being an artist but idk. I want to make things I misss working with people to make things and I know as a lawyer I will collaborate a lot. A lot of what u do seems so not fun and miserable and idk idk. But I’ve spent so much money and also i going to law school allowed my friend to have housing for foreseeably 3 years. Do I just get the JD and end up completely turning around and doing fucking. Like?? Entertainment law but in my head that’s always just disneys evil lawyers idk.

[dearsnow]

omg can i have maybe a silly awkward confession + first kiss w steve randle???

tysm i love ur works sm <33

8:00

- steve randle desperately wants to confess to you, but it never seems to go in the way he expects. (steve randle x gn!reader but it’s mentioned that steve has liked girls in the past, fluff, unedited)

word count: 820

a/n - yes in this story you are EXACTLY steve’s type bc he loves you!! and tysm :,)

If Steve knows one thing, it is not how to flirt successfully. How to fix cars and punch things, maybe, but the idea of romance with another person is so foreign to him that he wouldn’t even know where to start. He can throw compliments and ask people out no problem- the problem comes when it’s time for them to say “yes”. He had a girlfriend at one point, god knows how that happened, but like most things, it ended pretty quickly. It left him slightly heartbroken and more than slightly insecure in his ability to secure another relationship.

But when he saw you, waltzing into the DX looking like his exact type, he couldn’t stop himself from trying.

“Hey there-“

“Steve, come help me with this.” Soda called, wiping some sweat off his face with his sleeve. “I just can’t get it to fit.”

And so began Steve’s campaign. Every time you walked by, he would attempt to move the conversation towards asking you out, but something or someone always got in the way. Eventually, the attempts got less and less frequent. The world just seemed to not want his brazen attempts at romance.

If you’re being honest, ever since you saw him while walking by the gas station, you’ve been hooked on Steve Randle. You’re always nice to the greasers and even befriended a few of them, but something about him just makes you nervous. He’s too handsome, too cocky, and too often talking to girls. Of course, that doesn’t stop you from liking him.

Sodapop knows. He sees how you stare at him, even though you look away as soon as he catches you. He sees your awkwardness, your giddy smile, and he sees that Steve, for once, can’t seem to find his words.

“You should do it.” He says. You turn around.

Soda has a grin on his face, and it terrifies you. “Do what?”

“Ask him out. Steve, I mean. You know he likes you- I think I’ve told you a million times since you first came ‘round.”

You’re dumbfounded. Soda raises his eyebrows, gesturing at the boy in the corner. Ask him out? You? You, ask out the guy you’ve been crushing on for practically forever now? “I don’t think so.” You lower your voice. You doubt Steve can hear your conversation, but you keep it hush-hush for safety’s sake.

You want to. You really, really want to, but there never seems to be a right time.

“Just do it.” He elbows you. “Steve! Steve, come here a minute. They need help.” He yells, giving you a wink. Your heart beats a million miles a minute in your chest as Soda walks away and Steve walks towards you. Has Steve always looked so good in the dingy gas station lighting?

It’s now or never, you guess.

“Whaddya need?” Steve questions. He has a little air of giddiness to his voice, like he’s waiting to say something he’s been keeping inside for a long time.

You take a deep breath. If Soda’s wrong, you’re going to wring his neck. But you need to do it. You just need to, and now’s as good a time as any.

“I just… uh, would you want to see a movie with me? When you’re done with work, of course.” You look away, bracing yourself for a potential rejection.

“Aw man, you couldn’t even let me do it myself?” Steve borderline whines. “I’ve been wantin’ to ask ya that for forever now.”

Your mouth opens just a little bit as you stare at him, face heating up. Soda was right.

Steve moves a bit closer, his hands shoved haphazardly in his pockets. “I like ya. Have for a while, I mean. So yeah, we should hit the drive-in when it gets dark.”

He has a dopey smile on his face, and you’ve never seen anything so cute in your life. He’s rough around the edges, but there’s something smooth in the way you feel secure in his presence. “I’d love that. I like you too, by the way.”

Steve could cheer, but he settles for a subtle fist-pump and a mental note to brag to the gang later. He knew it would eventually go his way.

“Do you like me enough to kiss me?” He teases. If it was his choice, he’d kiss you until his lips turn blue. What he doesn’t expect, though, is your agreement.

You, in a great act of bravery, pull him closer and press your lips to his.

The entire world seems to melt away from the two of you as Steve wraps an arm around your waist and keeps a hand on the back of your head. If the world exploded in that moment, neither of you would care.

When you finally pull away, there’s a heavy blush on his cheeks.

“So, the drive-in at 8:00?” You laugh.

“Yeah, geez, for sure.”

[bellysoupset]

not a request but a story I think you might enjoy bc istg this is the most emeto / whump fic thing thats ever happened to me

so I was on a long haul (11+ hour) flight yesterday coming back from a holiday, and I felt pretty much fine on the flight except for a little bit of a tummy ache because my period started just as I got on. I had been a bit nauseous before getting on but that went away after takeoff. I didn’t sleep at all on the plane but I thought that wouldn’t be a problem since I rarely sleep on flights and I’m usually fine, but oh boy…

Once I got off the plane my neighbour picked me up and they took me to their restaurant to grab some food. I got a bowl of beef brisket noodles where the meat had plenty of fat and the soup itself had a decent amount of oil. It was a dish I usually liked but in this instance turned out to be a huge mistake. In an attempt to be nice to my plane stomach my neighbour had apparently requested the chef make it rather bland for me, which was putting it lightly. Unfortunately it did also make the oil taste stronger. It was nice at first but started to become more offputting as I started to overheat - today was the hottest day of the entire year in my country - and then my neighbour got us all out some watermelon which I ate quickly so that we could leave sooner - again, huge mistake.

So then I got on the car with my neighbour and her two kids. The kids I’m usually great friends with and they like talking to me, but after about 2 minutes of being on the car I started feeling pretty bad — I had these really bad tummy cramps that I couldn’t tell if they were from my period or from eating something; I was really warm and the sun was shining on me the whole time; also I was starting to get the tiniest bit carsick. It definitely didn’t help that my mouth had that sour gross aftertaste of watermelon but I couldn’t bring myself to drink any water to get rid of it because I was afraid that putting anything in my mouth would make me throw up. Have I also mentioned that I’ve got a cold and I’ve been awake for about 18 hours as well?

So I asked the kids to be quiet for a bit and told them I’d been awake for too long and they tried their best (they’re like 8). I just sat there with my eyes closed and tried not to break down in any way. Thankfully after a while the cramps stopped but the nausea kept getting worse and worse until I was like, spitting onto my fingers / the collar of my dress, if that makes sense, to try and get rid of the taste in my mouth. I could also feel a burp rising in my chest but I knew that if that came out I would throw up in my neighbour’s car so I did everything I could to keep it down.

After a few minutes of sitting there w my eyes closed my neighbour jokingly goes “you’re not carsick are you?” and I go “no I’m just feeling bad bc I’m on my period” (I have a problem about telling people when I’m feeling bad, I always try and lie about it and say I’m fine lol) but then for some godforsaken reason that comment makes me even More nauseous to the point where I asked her if there was a bag anywhere on the car because I was so convinced I’d lose control and I thought at least having a backup plan - even if I hated throwing up - would be better than losing it and getting puke in my dress and her car. But there wasn’t a bag so I just had to sit there…

And then it gets really weird. My whole body starts going really cold which I found weird because until that point I had been overheating like crazy. And I thought my neighbour had just turned the AC on more but she said she hadn’t. And then I couldn’t feel my legs lol. Like I knew they were there but when I put my hands on them I couldn’t feel my hands really. So yeah I basically fainted in my neighbour’s car. and I was STILL NAUSEOUS >:(

When I got home I was literally so weak I had to sit in the car for five whole minutes till I could get up. They helped me get my suitcases and stuff out of the back and I basically stumbled to my door and then sat down on a stool as soon as I got in. Then it took another 10 minutes of sitting there as the world bobbed up and down under my feet to be able to do the stairs. I felt really bad for my neighbour TBH bc I was being pretty pathetic and she had especially come to get me and I ended up being way more effort than I could have been. After they left I went upstairs and believe it or not I didn’t even have a fever when I checked! I just felt this bad purely from overheating / travel sickness. Although I did have a pretty explosive poo as well so maybe it was also the noodles? That helped a lot actually so then I was able to unpack and pack for my residential the next day (yeah, i know…) and then sleep. Except I kept waking up because my stomach hurt :( (a killer combo of an upset belly and period cramps.). And I STILL have a cold. No nausea anymore though so I’ll take that as a win.

This got really long but hope you enjoy lol

- ☂️

For your residential the next day??? girl you're a champ, i've have given up going already. this was a ride, poor thing!! I cannot imagine how terrible it must've felt, not just the plane, with the stranger, but with your neighbor as well!! 😭😭😭

I did enjoy reading it, but I feel so bad for you!!

[zonerz]

Answers Update

OKAY IK THIS IS A TEXT BLOCK BUT DONT PANIC! We are good JKSDKJL

So it’s been about a month since the last chapter update, my b 💀🙏BUT I have good reasons, and I realized that while I mentioned it in an A/N on the fic itself, I probably have people following me here who haven’t seen that 😭👍Better late than never tho! Putting it under a cut bc it’s a bit long my bad

I’ve had a good chunk of chapter 39 completed since I uploaded 38, but as I was writing and reviewing my stuff to ensure consistency and such, erm, well 😭I’ve hit a point where the problems I’ve had on the backburner are no longer avoidable. Additionally, by nature of how long I’ve been working on this story (4.5 years mama mia 💀💀💀) I’ve had time to think about and enhance some #Lore 😳!

Reflecting on all of this, I really think that in order for the upcoming bits to be at their best and most impactful, I need to revisit the much older chapters and make some revisions. Which I know can sound beyond frustrating, but I would rather do this and make the whole experience much more consistent and satisfying than shoehorn in a bunch of stuff late-game and feel like a rugpull yk???

The main thing that pushed me over the edge is Hiro because the track that I’ve been on regarding his background/power set up is gonna lead me into an unsatisfying and unfun corner, and that’s not what I want. So I’ve been rattling that man around for months tryna figure smth out AND I FINALLY GOT IT! His character and personality won’t be changing so no worries there! Nor will introductions or roles, but I’ve finally got something set up to explain his powers a lot more reasonably as well as being able to have a bit more classic HB callbacks :]

Essentially I’m gonna do what I did in 2021 where I have a little laundry list of things to tweak and add so that the story is at it’s best! My writing abilities have definitely improved and grown since I first started writing this fic, so I’m finally able to add or depict things I simply didn’t have the skill level for before which is SOOOOO SATISFYING !!!

Currently all chapters up to chapter 14 have been updated with new action sequences, conversations, and grammatical/pacing issues resolved to be much closer to how I always intended for them to be--also some fun little 1.20 snippets that just fit in a way I’ve always wanted! Those cherry trees were too good to not mention 💖

When I’m done I’ll be uploading the real chapter 39 in the place of the A/N one and will denote which chapters got the most notable changes :> They’ll mostly be the ones from about 8-15 I’d say tho solely because of Hiro 😭 Love that bastard but he has been a MIGRAINE to sort out for YEARS

Anyways that’s all I’ve got 😭🙏Thank you guys sm for reading and for your patience and apologies for the change-up, but I do think this is a good thing to do for the health of the story even if it takes a lot of extra effort and time. It’s worth doing. Very funny to feel like I’m adding patch notes to a fic tho KLJSJKLDJ Answers HD 1.5 Remix moment

anyways ty and have a good one !!!

[voulezloux]

annual writing self-evaluation

thank you lou @nouies for the tag! having to do self reflection is hard yall

also i wrote this on a google doc so ignore the fact everything is properly capitalized

1. List of works published this year:

One chance (kiss him you fool)

Nights like these

Your right now, your forever, your last call, your whatever

Defying stars

Always had that heart of mine

Part time soulmates (full time problem)

It’s the summer of our love

If it feels like love (then it must be love)

Make my wish come true

2. Work you are most proud of (and why):

Defying stars! I’ve always wanted to write a marching band au and i finally got to do it. I’m also proud of part time soulmates (full time problem) because it was so much fun to write

3. Work you are least proud of (and why):

I am not very happy with how one chance (kiss him you fool) turned out. I had so many idea for it and none of them came to fruition. I wish i spent more time working on it and i wish i could describe things better than i can

4. A favorite excerpt of your writing:

From part time soulmates (full time problem)

Harry nods, continuing his tirade on a table. “Why don’t you want to bond?”

Louis freezes mid throw. “What?”

“You said you didn’t want to bond when we first found out. What makes you not want to bond?” 

Louis throws the plate on the ground. “That’s a bit personal, innit?” He laughs. “My mum.”

The air is filled with a sad smell, obviously coming from Louis. Harry resists the urge to wrap his arm around the omega, to comfort him. His stomach is turning in a bad way, and he wants to take back the question. 

Before he can, Louis continues, “My mum was bonded three times, twice it failed. Watching her go through the pain of breaking a bond was awful, and I had to protect my siblings from seeing the worst of it. I always…” He sighs. “I always thought I’d be an alpha so I could control when I would get bonded. But then I presented as an omega and I, I don’t know. I guess everything changed and I didn’t want to go through the pain an omega would have to go through if a bond was broken.”

Harry is left speechless, and it’s harder now to not want to console the omega. “Louis…”

“No, don’t do that,” Louis points the plate in his hand he was going to throw at Harry. “You’re not about to feel bad for the poor omega who has trauma. You’re going to smash this plate and you’re going to be mad.”

I always love strong, independent omega louis and this is by far one of my favorite examples of this

5. Share or describe a favorite review you received:

I always love when people respond to my author’s notes at the end. Idk it makes me feel like people actually care about what i’m writing and i’m not just screaming into the void. I have a lot of issues with feeling like my works are liked and/or loved and that people care about what i’m writing, so when people read and respond to my author’s notes, it makes me feel seen.

6. A time when writing was really, really hard:

Whenever i get close to a deadline, i start panicking even if i have the fic most of the way finished. So, deadlines man.

7. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you:

I wrote two rare pairs this year and one of them included ryan ross! Writing ryan was a challenge since i’ve not written anything that wasn’t larry or phan in years, and i’m very happy with how that fic turned out.

8. How did you grow as a writer this year:

I have no idea. Someone tell me how i grew as a writer bc i’m los

9. How do you hope to grow next year:

Hopefully more fics that are of my own will (meaning non fic fest fics, all but one of my fics this year was a fic fest fic, and the one that wasn’t from a fest was an exchange). I have ideas that have been put on the back burner due to fic fests.

10. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):

All of my friends, but especially rei (they don’t use tumblr anymore). I met rei during phandom big bang one year (they were my beta) and, even though they are into kpop and i’m into 1d, rei always listens to my coked up ideas for fics i wanna write and even the fics i read. Love you bro (even though you won’t see this) (jk i'll show this to them)

Bonus mentions for fandom friends are lou (@nouies) and andi (@tommokat). Lou because she is a wonderful person and always gasses me up when needed and andi because she lets me bounce ideas off of her and helps me with my fics.

11. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year:

Yes! Defying stars i stole a lot of things from that fic from my real life in high school. Biggest example from that fic is the marching band show from my freshman year, which was also called starcrossed!

12. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

Do not get discouraged if a fic you are excited about doesn’t perform well with readers. Fic in it of itself is self indulgent and as long as you like it, it’s worth writing. If people also enjoy it, then it’s a bonus.

13. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:

I’m writing in my first ever 1d big bang! I don’t want to give out too many details (it involves a non conventional character and i’m deathly terrified of backlash) but it’s a labor of love. I’ve been wanting to write this kind of fic for a long time and i’m glad i have an opportunity to write it.

14. Tag three writers whose answers you’d like to read!

@tommokat @larryatendoftheday and @alwaysxlarrie

*All answers should be about works published in 2023

[1moreoffkeyanthem]

Uh oh it’s Unsolicited OJV Time again! (The wife is to blame) And you know what I wanna get into?! Why is it orange juice specifically?

So if you’re a regular in PCE Hell, you know the KMBS, the Kyle Mathew Broflovski Special of oj with seven ice cubes and a pinch of salt in a huge terrance and phillip cup, is the reason for which the series is named. But why did I pick that iconic (to me) beverage? Lemme tell ya!

(Under the cut bc of eating issue mention)

I’ve said before that the OrangeJuiceVerse wasn’t written in chronological order, and it will not be, bc I’m like “oh I have an idea for 30 yr old Stan!” and then “college main5 oneshot idea!” “Mid 20s style fic!” SMH I have put the fics in chronological order despite writing them all over the place, for the sake of a crumb of organization, but lord ok what I’m getting at here

So the first idea that wound up being the cornerstone of that au, the one that sat in my notes for so long, was Broken Bottles From Apartment 2. It’s a later ojverse timeline story (11th chronologically I think) but I posted it third. The first fic in that universe, A Fall In The Springtime (I hate that name btw I was trying to make a pun and it sucked rip), wasn’t even the first OJV story to curse ao3. I had written like the first half of the basketball game in ch 1 and I switched gears.

(Unsolicited PCE Lore time)

So during the era I was thinkin abt AFITS and BBFA2, I was also working as the prop master on a film. And I was really, really fucking stressed. I couldn’t eat or sleep and the only thing of any slight nutritional value that I could keep down was orange juice.

And ofc I was like you know who would absolutely have the same problem? Getting so stressed out that they can’t eat? Or won’t? Wendy Testaburger and Kyle Broflovski. So before the stories that were already in the notes for a hot minute got completed? Borrowed Hoodies And Orange Juice hit the shelves. And that detail of Stan keeping oj on standby in his backpack in case Kyle needs it, that felt right. And I carried that into the rest of AFITS.

That got posted a while before OJV was even solidified as the same universe in my mind, and imma be honest, I didn’t initially plan to have an aspect of it being Kyle as a former ed sufferer, but the more I developed him in bbfa2, the more it made sense for his character. So that stayed, even if it wasn’t even mentioned in that fic.

And the biggest kicker? The KMBS has been a staple for Kyle his whole life. His immune system is garbage. He gets sick a lot. Sheila always gave him orange juice with a little salt (for electrolytes) and at some point as he gets older and starts finding comfort in consistency (not this man and his borderline obsessive compulsive tendencies out here 8 years old delirious with the flu and paranoid as hell that if the juice isn’t in that t&p cup with EXACTLY seven ice cubes something bad will happen) BUT this breaks my heart bc when he’s in the trenches of his yeeting disorder he will not touch any liquid that isn’t water or black coffee. And on the rare occasion that he does have a lil juice bc he’s low and his whole life that’s his first instinct to get his blood sugar up? It has to be out of a prepackaged bottle. Not poured from a big carton into The Cup; he needs to see. And people in his life notice, and he’s like “yeah guess I grew out of it haha” oh my god that poor boy so the moment when Stan finds out about the ed, Stan Marsh, who has kept a bottle of minutemaid oj in his backpack since he knew what his best friend being diabetic meant, is with him in the locker room like okay Kyle gets low sometimes but he keeps an eye on his shit pretty well something’s wrong here and then Kyle’s looking at the goddamn nutrition info, still shaking, on the back of the bottle and it hits Stan like a brick to the face and THATS how he figured it out. For like fifteen years, long after Kyle recovered, that backpack bottle has the calorie count (Food Lore as Stan calls it) scribbled out. Just in case.

And it actually does take a while for Kyle to get to be okay with his favorite drink again. He associates it strongly with a chaotic carefree childhood and the ed developed with control as the root cause and anything associated with a time before that gives him a momentary panic. But only a few months out of restriction hell, you start to think “wait why did I think like that that’s fucking stupid” and he starts to have the default of laughing at the irrationality of it all pretty quickly. Stan doesn’t find it funny, Ike doesn’t find it funny, Sheila is on his ass about his eating habits until he’s 50, but Cartman roasts him for being a “stupid little rexie asshole” and Kyle takes comfort in at least one person not being overbearing about it. Stan doesn’t find that funny either.

So in the second ojv, Kyle proves to be really really awesome at comforting Wendy when she breaks down, because he’s been there. Kyle’s just good at comforting people in general, and that carries into his adult life and his career too. OJV Kyle is a middle school counselor. He’s helped a lot of students with a lot of different problems, but in particular, if a teacher notices a kid repeatedly avoiding lunch period and sends them his way, he has the experience tools to help them talk it out. And the minifridge under his desk? Guess what’s in there. ;)

*PastorCraigEnjoyer crawls back into her Cell to be the Comfort Dealer*

[folliesandfolderols]

Writing prompts day 18

From this prompt list. I set a goal of writing at least 150 words per day in 2024, which sounds pretty pathetic but if you take into account the fact that I haven’t written any fiction since 2019 it felt like a feasible target. Anyway I’ve finished the first draft (it topped out at 88k words) and will be unlocking each post as I edit.

read from the beginning here

Days 16 & 17 here (combined due to work being murder on my word count and not wanting to make super short posts)

***

74. "You good?"

***

By the time Tim woke up, Damian had been gone long enough that the spot where he had lain was cool to the touch. Tim determinedly didn't think about what it meant that he'd reached out for Damian before his eyes had even opened.

He also didn't think about the text Damian had sent, which was a simple get as much rest as you can today and nothing clingy or affectionate. A message that was either of those things would have been strange, of course, because their relationship had never been close, and sex wasn't some sort of magic bullet to change that dynamic.

He didn't think about the teeth marks embedded in his shoulder, pink and blue in the closet mirror when he caught his reflection. He didn't have any memory of Damian biting him, but it must have happened at some point. It wasn't worth trying to pin the moment down in his recollection.

The arms trafficking case kept him fully occupied for the rest of the afternoon and early evening. Jason had cloned a mid-level goon’s phone with text messages about a possible transfer point in Corpus Christi. Tim busied himself hunting down the purchase points for the various phone numbers in case they led to further information, and then remotely accessed as many of the phones themselves as he could. So obviously he didn't have any time to flash back to the sensory memory of Damian's body, curled around his own, gone soft with sleep in a show of trust that Tim never could have predicted even a few weeks before. He was way too busy for that.

His phone vibrated with Bruce's rhythm around 8 PM, just as he was getting ready to head to the Cave for the pre-patrol briefing. I'm going to move you to a different night this week. Spoiler's taking your route.

Tim frowned. Last-minute changes to the schedule weren't really Bruce's style. Unless . . .

He replied, something wrong?

Damian mentioned you seemed unusually fatigued last night. Resting tonight is the right call.

A flush of anger heated Tim's chest. That little shit. Unusually fatigued Tim's ass, he was always this tired! Tim had no clue what Damian's ploy was here, but whatever it was, it wouldn't work. He texted back, that's not true i'm good to go tonight

I've already called her in. It's just one night. Feel free to work from home if you don't want to get sleep, but I hope you do go to bed at a reasonable hour, for once.

Coming from Bruce, that was the equivalent of an intervention-level expression of concern. The only thing missing was a banner and a therapist. Tim couldn't argue more without being the asshole in the situation. Fuck Damian, anyway, and not in the fun way. What the hell was he playing at?

Ok, he replied to Bruce, and then tapped Damian's text thread.

u good

A few seconds passed, then, Of course. Why?

bc i just got benched for the night thanks to you

He scowled and added, wtf is your problem?!

The three dots on the other half of the screen pulsed, disappeared, pulsed, and vanished again. After several long minutes, Damian finally responded, I'm not the one who had a nightmare flashback and was asleep standing up earlier today, so any problem here is certainly not mine.

Tim saw red and had to do some meditative breathing. This was what he got for fucking someone who was barely not a teenager. No. That was unfair to other twenty-year-olds. This was what he got for fucking Damian. He should've known it would make Damian feel like he had some sort of right to lord his superiority over Tim.

Well. He had known it was a dumb decision and he'd done it anyway. Twice. That didn't say anything good about his decision-making abilities. In that regard, he and Damian were on the same page.

dont fucking tattle tale on me to b to try to cut me out brat

The ellipsis reappeared but he kept typing.  i know it's probably hard for you to understand given your whole ~lack of experience, but fucking someone doesnt *actually* give you the right to fuck them over

i thought you'd outgrown this sort of petty bullshit

This time the response was near-instantaneous. You are being ridiculous. Go to bed if you can't speak sensibly. I'm going to mute you now.

Tim threw the phone across the room and then punched a pillow for good measure. What an absolute asshole.

days 19 & 20 here (once again combined since work kills my word count and I don't want to make super short posts)

[angst-in-space]

december ‘22 writing progress (and yearly wrap-up)

december progress:

words written: 11k

most words written in a day: 1023

least words written in a day: 22

yearly total: 264.4k

projects worked on:

- ya sci-fi book revisions - adult fantasy book first draft - sylvix pacrim au - twiyor fic - matchablossom fic - 7yg zine piece - edited/posted renga fic ch 1 - editing sylvix dreamscape fic ch 9 - altea rising ch 19

works published in december:

"are we going somewhere” chapter 1 - (sk8, renga)

december goals:

- work on ya sci-fi book revisions - work more on adult fantasy wip - start editing ch 9 of dreamscape fic - work on twiyor fic - work on matchablossom fic - work on sylvix pacrim au - work more on 7yg zine fic - perhaps work a bit more on altea rising or red skies if i have time - start on renga fic ch 3-4 edits if i have even more time??

january goals:

- work on ya sci-fi book revisions - maybe work more on adult fantasy wip? - finish editing (maybe post) ch 9 of sylvix dreamscape fic - work on 7ygz fic - work on [redacted] zine fic - finish writing ch 19 of altea rising...haha - apply to YA novel excerpt contest - work on sylvix pacrim au, matchablossom fic, and/or twiyor fic if i have time

notes:

so... i didn’t do so hot in terms of word count in december, but i’ll give myself a pass because i wrote so much in november lol. and, even though i didn’t write quite as many words as i’d hoped, i did work on quite a lot of projects even if i was only making a tiny bit of progress on each, so YAY!!

i am trying to really shift my focus towards book revisions so i think most of my efforts are going to go towards that in january. 

however, as always i am unable to detach myself from fic entirely lol... i have two zine pieces i need to work on (both of which i’m very excited about!). aaaand maybe i will eat my words but... i think i’m going to attempt to finish writing ch 19 of altea rising, which i’ve been trying to get back into lately. it’s just been weighing on me that it’s been 4(??!!) years since i’ve updated it and i’ve had a couple people ask whether it’ll be completed, so i do wanna put a bit more effort towards that (esp bc it’s only gonna be 20 chapters total so I AM ALMOST THERE - then ofc i need to edit/post all the unpublished chapters but uhhh that’s a problem for future me!). it’s also that i’ve felt a bit burned out on all my other fic projects lately, so i’m hoping having like One Thing to focus on will help me a bit.

2022 wrap up:

total words written: 264.4k most words written in a month: 50k (november) least words written in a month: 11k (december)

works completed and/or posted:

- dawn goes down to day / sk8, matchablossom - we’re so disarming, darling / spy x family, twiyor - throw away the key / ace attorney, klapollo - you’re a dream (i’m never waking up) chs 6-8 / fe3h, sylvix - are we going somewhere ch 1 / sk8, renga

other wips: - ya sci-fi book - adult fantasy book - you’re a dream ch 9-10 edits - matchablossom bedsharing fic - twiyor practice kissing fic - are we going somewhere ch 2 edits - sylvix pacific rim au - altea rising ch 19

2022 goals: - write every day - write at least 200k words - finish a couple more drafts of my ya sci-fi book - finish sylvix dreamscape fic - maybe start writing sylvix pacrim au?? - edit/post renga fic - finish wenzhou modern au - continue writing wenzhou post-canon fic - finish matchablossom bedsharing fic - work on altea rising and/or red skies if i have time? - start planning my second novel??

notes:

...okay wow i’m actually kinda (pleasantly) shocked that i completed most of my 2022 goals so YAAY!!! 

2022 was a big year for me especially for my original writing! it’s kinda mind-blowing looking back on this time last year, when i had only just finished a first draft of my YA sci-fi book. since then it’s gone through several more drafts and got me into two mentorships - something i could not even have imagined a year ago. i honestly felt pretty bleak about it at the beginning of the year, so it’s exciting to see how far it’s come since then, and is hopefully promising of where it will go in the future. :’) i also not only outlined a whole other book but also wrote about the first 20k words of a first draft, so that’s super exciting!!

i didn’t write quite as much fic in 2022 as i have in previous years, but i still made progress on a bunch of projects—in particular, i’m super glad i finished sylvix dreamscape fic and also started posting the renga fic, since those were two things that took me a very long time haha. excited to edit/post the remaining chapters of those in 2023!! plus i have a lot of other fics in the works that i am super excited about!

there are a number of fic projects i kinda let fall by the wayside this past year - namely my two wenzhou wips and my unfinished klance multichaps... but i do hope to get back to those sometime in 2023, i miss them a lot! plus i’ve been trying to focus on finishing more wips and not starting as many new things so we’ll see how that goes lol. 

here’s to more writing fun in 2023!!! 🎉

2023 goals:

- write every day - write at least 200k words - finish more drafts of my ya sci-fi book - send ya sci-fi book to betas - start querying ya sci-fi book...? haha? that’s a big maybe - make progress on adult fantasy book (possibly try to finish a first draft at least?) - outline another book - finish editing/posting sylvix dreamscape fic - finish editing/posting renga fic - finish writing altea rising and maybe start posting the unpublished chapters - start working on red skies again - work on sylvix pacrim au (maybe at least finish a first draft of it if i’m feeling super ambitious) - work on at least one of my wenzhou fics - finish at least a draft of matchablossom bedsharing fic - keep working on twiyor practice kissing fic, maybe finish a first draft? - a huge maybe but perhaps start sylvix 50s/spy au if i have time/energy

[appreciatingtokrev]

that's really nice to heard that you guys managed to turn it around then! hopefully, your friendship will last for many years to come 🙂 i recently had to cut off a friend for 8 years because she went too far since she let bad experiences define her too much and i couldn't do it anymore 😭 it did made me realise that friendship or any general relationship does take work but it won't happen if the other party doesn't listen 😅 i'm a mac user and it's not available for IOS users expect for the iPhones but you can get GI on an iPad but most don't know this. Mac aren't really great for games anymore, you can't download any from steam now. that does make sense and maybe the company just abandoned it since they don't see a need switch version considering the success.

I've heard that the gacha concept is bad for ppl with gambling issues though like some ppl do impulse buy on there a lot. i've gave into playing honaki star because i wanted to be there from the start. which one do you prefer? i like honkai star more, how about you?

you are right, i got a bit lost there and we don't have the high school system on my end so i have to look up fms 😅 are you still in high school then (?) where i live, ppl your age are at university or they're retaking the previous year to get into uni.

i read the manga a while back so i've looked it up and you're correct. that is a good point, koko does seem more likely to change compare to inupi. that's true since even mitusya was still a member in bad toman and mikey disappeared and kisaki's influence. i wonder that cause koko to change that much in the bonten timeline though? because he definitely knew what he was doing then by signing up to it willingly.

it is a bit hard and long 😅 which version of venti do you want to cosplay? that is a shame but more interesting characters will appear where you might want to cosplay them instead and like you said, you could always start now.

tbh, anime merchandise is pretty expensive so if you could order it, it would be a little bit hard to find reasonable prices 😭 there are limited edition perfumes of TR that cost at least 100+ for just ONE, i was talking to someone and she will buy at least more than one but i was like wait, what if you don't like the scent? and then she said i'll just add it to my anime collection then and i went 💀 i would never do that, would you? making his earring must been cool though, does it jingle then? you're almost there then! wouldn't a wig be uncomfortable though? and hot to wear in the summer ? my cousin said the same thing about the hotness and you guys are exactly one month apart from each other, she's 16th of March lol. i'm not telling anyone that i'm cosplaying 😂 i'm just going to wear it as an outfit every once in a while and i'm not buying a wig.

i'm not a makima fan either, i just like her outfit lol. the fanart of her are cool though considering how terrifying/dark they are. why don't you like her? it really was and luckily i managed to get the last one for my size otherwise i've would given up 😭 thanks, it's not perfect, there is a split at the back (at the bottom) but closet i was going to get so i'm happy.

ty!! yeah i hope so too :] oh no,, i’m sorry for you ajdjfkh losing friends you’ve had for so long is very hard but if you believe it’s better that way i’m glad you did it & i hope it doesn’t take too much of a toll on you. a few years ago me and my best friend of 8 years grew apart and well... i was pretty sad about it tbh but i mean that’s life.

hm interesting, didn’t know abt any of the technical genshin stuff bc for my laptops it’s always worked without a problem

i hate to admit it but i’ve spent money on genshin too, though it was a one-time thing and i was still financially stable afterwards (otherwise i wouldn’t have done it). but yeah, it’s definitely a problem for gambling addicts.

ohh personally i prefer genshin, probably bc it’s what got me into gaming on pc and i’ve been playing it for so long lol but i prefer honkai star rail over honkai impact for sure. i do prefer the gi/hi fight mechanics but those in hsr are very fun too and i like that they did something different for once!

yeah i mean it’s not really a highschool here either... i would explain the school system in switzerland to you but it’s a little complicated so ajfjfjhsk tbf i’m a bit older than most people in my class tho it’s not too unusual for someone my age to be where i am bc the fms & gymnasium often have people repeating a bunch of times or similar things. most people actually graduate highschool at abt 18 to 20 where i live, in my specific type of class even half a year later so 19 to 21. and i’ll graduate at 22 so yeah lol. then i’ll probably go to university

i guess koko is just more prone to crime than e.g. inupi or mitsuya? i think it has to do with his trauma relating money because he knew that getting into bonten would secure him good business (if he works well ofc, but he knows he does lol) plus the other people who ended up joining bonten wanted him to be there too so that gives him an easier time making a decision.

i’d love to cospaly just his normal outfit, the one he wears in-game! my hair’s been growing out since and i never dyed it but i actually got pretty much the same haircut as him last summer lol. now idk what i wanna do with my hair and i hate going to the hair dresser so i haven’t cut it since ajdjfkhsk.

yeah, merch is so expensive 😭 i ended up finding a store in the city where my school is at that sells some animanga merch, including tokrev (and gi) stuff, so i now have a tiny takemichi figurine and a little plushie mitsuya keychain hehe, and both weren’t too expensive. i’ve also been planning on crocheting some little tokrev dolls inspired by a silly fic i read lol but my motivation has been so low 😭 ah yeah i’ve seen a bunch of tokrev perfumes too... i mean. if she likes spending money on stuff and has enough money to do it... her choice i guess

it does jingle!! i haven’t worn it yet tho bc i don’t mind the sound but i’m pretty sure the public doesn’t lmao so i might make another that looks the same but doesn’t make any noises so i can wear it.

mhh honestly i don’t think i will care abt wearing a wig too much, it’s not for too long and while i hate tge heat i can tolerate it quite easily so. and i think it will be plenty of fun (and struggle) to style it haha

oh lol, i see i’m collecting people with birthdays similar to mine one way or another lol. that actually makes a lot of sense! her outfit very much is perfect to just wear casually so. omg i love makima fanart, especially when people incorporate a lot of symbolism and/or horror elements. she’s just so pleasing to look at in a way ajdkfjsjh. she gave me bad vibes from the start and well i dislike her for her actions, which should be pretty popular lol. any reason in particular that you dislike her? omg pretty much the same thing happened to me with my valhalla jacket jacket, i’d checked out every store in town and was SO close to giving up when i found one slightly too big (it makes my shoulders look weirdly broad but i have some ideas on shortening the sleeves to fix it) and it looked okay so i bought it.

[deactivated-deadpool-anon]

Tw: heavy vent, topic of suicide, and self harm

I’ve had this in drafts for a few weeks just added on as I felt sad so if it seems jumbled that’s why

Idk how to add the little page break thing on tumblr mobile so if you’re sitting here scrolling for a minute I’m genuinely so sorry

So every winter my depression gets extremely bad as it does with most people so it’s no shocker that I’ve been in a slump for the past month but it’s bad this time the last time I could remember it being this bad was when I went through with my first attempt in 7th grade and I’m ngl I’ve heavily been thinking about trying to make another attempt on my life I don’t only for my younger siblings I can’t handle the thought of them walking in on my dead body which they inevitably would (my brother wakes me up every morning) and everytime I think about this scenario I start spiraling it’s hell but yeah not gonna kill my self ig. I’ve been using quite literally all my strength not to relapse and start self harming again I’ve been clean since November and I’m really trying to break the addiction but it’s so hard and I don’t really have any other coping mechanisms. In all honesty tho the real reason I don’t go back to cutting is bc I threw away what I was using to do it and I have like actual knives but I’m scared of going to deep (kinda ironic ig). So I’ve had a group of friends since last February (feb 2022) there’s been 3 main people with others along as well I don’t feel like going into our whole history but a cliff note version of it is we started hanging out in feb in may I started dating person B in July I broke it off with B and ever since it’s basically been me vs B (the others occasionally joining me) well I started talking to B in November after not talking to him for 2 months and shit was great it was basically how it was back before we got together he even got me a shiny Pokémon for my birthday (which means a lot to me) but practically since it’s been new year’s he went back to how he was in September (when we first stopped talking) just an asshole we obviously were annoyed by each other then we got in a “fight” so we stopped talking again anyways so that was Sunday I didn’t have school Monday but Tuesday and Wednesday he’s still been hanging around my group which is fine they’re his friends to but like I hate it bc they’re not talking to me pretty much at all throughout the day bc the only time I see person A and C person B is also there… it feels like he’s stealing my friends from me even my moirail (person A) is hanging out with him more and they don’t even like him so I feel left out completely I feel invisible and alone but not alone bc when I was alone it didn’t even feel this painful I just sit there in silence tears in my eyes but not letting them fall I stare off into space with one AirPod in trying to now ignore the outside world making little stories in my head with my f/os but in reality I just want my moirail to hug me and let me know everything’s alright and that I’m not losing anyone and that if I were to kill myself they would care they would be upset by it stuff like that but no nothing. I haven’t been able to do any school work bc of my mental state even if I take my meds (adhd meds I should probably clarify) which is weird bc my meds always keep me on track but not now ig fuck for example I have like 6 algebra assignments that become 0s tomorrow and I frankly just don’t care. When people I know tell me they don’t have tiktok i always laugh at them like c’mon it’s not that bad but it is it is that bad for example I posted a few videos of my face today and I got tons of comments fat shamming(which really helps my eating disorder but whatever),being called poor, and genuine trans + homophobia I have some pretty tough skin when it comes to these comments usually but if you haven’t noticed I’m a single problem away from violently killing myself so these comments got so bad that I had to private my account which in my 8-9 years on the internet i have never had to do. I think that’s it idk.

Oh there is actually one more thing I want to mention this happened months ago but has been pissing me off since so to put this lightly I had a dream where Murdoc from Gorillaz sexually assaulted me (yes Ik he would never do this but I can’t control my dreams) I have trauma when it comes to stuff like this bc I was sa’d as a child and I’m on the asexual spectrum so I don’t like to think of my f/os in a sexual light anyways I go to vent in my discord server that has all my friends in it looking for support (even though they were all asleep venting then makes me feel better) so I feel really dirty and sad bc again this was a sa related dream I post a kinda detailed version of the dream in #venting channel then Person B starts typing and replies with “nice fanfic” and I wish I fucking screenshoted that bc wtf dude it’s bc he’s never had/really heard about a sa situation i understand that but still why?

Vent Over

if you read this thanks ig it’s just nice to know an another living body knows my problems so I’m not necessarily suffering alone <3

TL;DR I really need a hug ffs

[cinnamonest]

Yandere Profile - Link (Legend of Zelda)

ABSOLUTELY YES. MY BOY. LOVE OF MY LIFE.

As some of you may know, today is the release date of Skyward Sword HD for Switch!! So I decided to release this one now in honor of that :3

NOTES:

I went towards the idea of a Princess!reader because that just opens the gate for sooooo much potential. I'm leaning heavily towards the ZeLink interactions in BoTW and Skyward Sword just because those games have the most interaction between the two.

Also! This is great bc it gives me the opportunity to explore an idea I've actually had a long time! I've always thought about how many opportunities there have been across the games for Link and Zelda to be kinda like "haha well seeya later" and just... bolt, run away from everything, abandon their roles and responsibilities and all that. Like, if OoT kid Link got her before Ganon did and ran, if SS Link just decided to get her on the bird and bolt before everything went down, if botw Link was just like haha what if we ran away from everything together... jk... unless...?

And final note, Link is a great pick for the very traditional yandere -- sweet and : ) but can snap into darker personas. I really liked writing this bc I tend to have more self centered yans and less of the "worships the ground you walk on" type of yans like I think Link would be, so it's a nice change.

As usual now the nsfw section is divided by a ---- line.

TWs: fem reader, heavily implied Zelda!reader, stalking, murder, very brief mentions of gore/dismemberment of rivals, manipulation, very brief suicide mention, themes of reincarnation (I’ve been told this can be triggering to some people so just in case)

TWs (nsfw section): noncon, somnophilia

--------------------------------

Severity Scale

Intelligence/Perceptiveness: 4 Brutality: 8.5 Physical capability: 8 Mental/emotional instability: 7 Restrictiveness: 6 Sexual sadism: 5 Stubbornness: 8

What are they generally like? Lucid, aware? Obsessive? How do they behave?

The primary trait of Link that any darling -- any person, really -- would notice is that he is, well, quiet. He has always been a man of few words, and really, he often doesn't know exactly what to say. On his own, at a first glance, he really does seem like a gentle, humble spirit, someone who blends into the background pretty well, who isn't particularly prideful or reckless or aggressive.

Which is why, to be honest, he might sort of evade the gaze of most people -- he doesn't stand out. You remember him as the boy that smiled at you now and then, it's a soft, gentle sort of smile, one that you feel conveys nothing but the utmost innocence and contentment with the world. You know he's pretty good at fighting, but doesn't get into fights needlessly, he's accomplished and respected, but has never been the guy everyone is talking about -- he's in the background, against the wall. Never speaking, always looking out, sometimes at the sky, sometimes carefully watching people. Sometimes you see him, gaze blank and tranquil, and wonder what he's thinking about. Whether he's the village boy in the time of Twilight, the trained and honored warrior that slept for many years, the boy that came down from the sky -- you can't help but feel at ease around him, safe, you can't help but find him endearing and pleasant.

Yet, you always seem to notice him. Other people... forget he exists, sometimes, he's so quiet. You never do, for whatever reason.

When he needs to get something across, he prefers to express himself through actions, not words. If you lived in Skyloft, or Ordon village, you might find problems mysteriously solved, work suddenly done that you don't remember doing. That fencepost outside your home that broke has been replaced overnight. A village child went missing and he comes back a few hours later with them in tow. Always humble, never demanding or expecting thanks, he tells you in his quiet voice that he's happy to help you.

And should you ever ask him for anything, he'll drop whatever he's doing to help. Anything for you, he says with a smile, which makes you feel a bit guilty when, honestly, you're not even sure you're remembering his name right.

And yet, sometimes, you feel so at ease around him it seems unnatural. He seems so easy to trust. You feel like you've known him forever. And sometimes you feel... for just a split second, less at ease. You find yourself randomly stiffening at his calm, sweet voice. You find yourself looking around when you're alone, as if you feel someone is there, and for some reason, his face flashes through your mind. Sometimes when he looks at you, you feel sort of cold. It's almost like invoking a memory you don't have, like some kind of learned instinct you can't recall a reason for. But those moments are fleeting, they come and go before you can even process them, replaced by warmth and comfort.

If you do spend time with him, if you find yourself gazing out your window when he's training, the next thing you notice besides him being quiet and sweet is that he's strong. It's almost ironic, how all the other knights or village boys are so aggressive and rowdy all the time, many of them taller or bulkier, and yet, none of them could ever dream of defeating Link. Not one can match his agility, speed, prowess. Such a pleasant, calm person, with so much skill, strength, and power, but that power is so rarely seen exerted. People marvel at his talent, they say it's as if he has the experience of lifetimes and lifetimes of battle in his blood.

And it's why you feel at ease when he's assigned the task of guarding you. His capabilities are unmatched, and yet you'd never fear any harm to you from him. Both of those traits put together make him the best candidate to protect you.

Of course, you do find yourself doing most of the talking. Sometimes you find yourself rambling to fill the silence, and you fear you're annoying him, but when you stop he raises an eyebrow and asks why you got so quiet. Did he do something wrong? He seems to worry about that a lot -- has he done something bad? Has he made you upset? Are you mad? At first you think he's worried about his position security, but after a while you realize he genuinely worries about it.

And when you do continue your ramblings, you're surprised to find he remembers your words -- every little thing you say. Things you don't even remember telling him. He asks you about that relative you mentioned one time, his eyes light up and he walks a bit to the side because look, it's your favorite flower over there, he'll get it for you. It's impressive, really, how he manages to remember such things. He must take his job very seriously.

He does enjoy giving you such things -- he loves giving you gifts. It's usually things he finds, wholesome little things -- makes a crown out of the flowers you like so much, finds something interesting here or there, while he was off-duty he saw something in the markets he thought you'd like and got it for you. You almost feel guilty, it's so constant that he's giving you things.

Sometimes you ask him about himself, you realize he knows so much about you and you so little about him. He blushes, he rubs the back of his head, he insists there's nothing interesting about him, he wouldn't waste your time like that. It takes time to get him out of his shell, but eventually, he tells you this or that, little stories from his life.

Sometimes you take long walks, you like to get out of the stuffy walls and have fun outside, he accompanies you across Hyrule. Sometimes it feels familiar, you pass places you've never been that give you a feeling of nostalgia, deja vu, a sense that you've been here before.

He’s protectiveness incarnated. Insanely so. He can spring to his feet at a moment's notice and deals with anything that comes for you before they can even get close.

It makes you feel safe, but there's something else there. It's a ferocity that is so contrasting to his normal self, different even from the times you've seen him fight as he trains. It's a glint in the eyes, an aggression in his expression, that almost makes him seem like a different person. And it lingers for a moment, once the creature is dead and his sword hand falls to his side, he turns and glances at you to his side, a hand raised to wipe the blood off his face, and for that lingering second, it's still there, his blank expression and wide eyes -- a ferocity so intense it starts to look like bloodlust, chaos, destruction. And then, it's as if you imagined it. Smiling and telling you it's gone now, you're ok. You're glad he's so truly devoted.

In fact, he's so dedicated to his job that he starts... doing it... outside of his job hours...? Well, today he was given the day off, and you were told to stay inside because you didn't have to go out. He comes knocking on your door, says not to be startled if you hear someone outside your door move or shift or anything, but he just wanted to let you know in case. He'll be right here. Keeping watch. So don't worry. You're safe.

And likewise, he was supposed to have a day off when you were supposed to enter the town. You were assigned two other guards to watch you, since it's a special trip, so you're surprised to find just Link waiting for you. He took care of it, he says, he didn't feel right leaving your safety up to someone else, he doesn't trust them. So they agreed to let him take over for today.

All of this said, he doesn't have to grow alongside you, he doesn't have to be the childhood friend, the knight who guards you. He doesn't even have to have met you. Fate works in odd ways like that. There's a sort of inexplicable instant attachment he takes to you, almost as though it's some kind of destined, divinely inspired sort of thing. He would describe it as saying you feel familiar to him.

He's also, notably, prone to a more traditional trope of what you might call humility whiplash. For the most part, he's got that overly humble, worshipping, "I don't deserve to even stand in your presence" sort of mentality. However, although it's rare and requires a lot of wearing down his mental state, if pushed far enough, he can have brief moments where he snaps into more or less the complete opposite -- entitlement, arrogance, aggression, getting mad at you for the behavior he'd normally take with a smile on his face. Thankfully, unlike some yanderes that have a whole snapping episode towards their darling, his are very very brief, usually only a matter of seconds or a single snarled sentence before he snaps back to normal, wide-eyed and apologetic and telling you I don't know what came over me. It’s... a little frightening to say the least, but you blow it off, tell yourself that hey, everyone has moments like that... Right?

How likely are they to kidnap their darling? How quickly will they do so?

For the most part, he doesn't need it, he can pretty easily cling to your side well enough to be assured of your safety, and he manages to scare off the undesirables not with a glare, but a smile that's just a little too sweet and far too persistent -- it unnerves people. You hear a lot of people say that something about that guy rubs me the wrong way. Or that he gives me goosebumps for some reason. Even the people he scares away themselves can't pinpoint exactly what it is, all they know is that, despite being reputed as kind and quiet (and maybe a little dense), somehow a lot of people agree that something about him puts people at unease, and that's all he needs. Because they stay away from him, and if he’s by your side all the time, that means they stay away from you too. Why keep you trapped when you can just be isolated?

An aware Link is a a unique scenario. One scenario that's rather... interesting to imagine is a Link that defies fate itself, a Link that decides to be selfish in one of those rare snapping moments of his. Perhaps he makes a decision when everything starts going down, when the chaos is beginning, or perhaps he has somehow managed to gain knowledge of the bigger picture at work, the reality of the nature of your existence and his.

Perhaps he begins to think it's unfair. To suffer again and again. To prove himself again and again, and not always even to reap any benefits, to work so hard and yet still -- still -- you slip out of his grasp. He longs for a life with no tribulations, no struggle, no fights to be fought. He begins to feel like it's what he wants the most. He begins to feel like maybe it's what he deserves. So many lifetimes of struggles, if the higher powers won't give him a reward, he'll take it himself.

And perhaps, for all their higher power, not even the great goddesses themselves would have ever predicted it -- humans are ultimately creatures of will. To defy fate and to run away from destiny -- it wouldn't be the first time a human has tried such a thing. Sure, Hyrule may be destroyed. The people may all die. There may be nothing left. But you know what? He's stopped caring. If you're alive and he's alive, tucked away in your little corner of the world where you've found respite, well, that's all he needs. Even if you're on the run from forces that would want to find you, even if the threat of the final third of the triforce owner looms over your head. He'll ignore it, he'll look away.

You'll live a quiet little life together, a happy life without suffering, without quests and enemies, without strife, without worry. That's what he tells you when he steals you away, lifts you out of your bed one night. Says to be quiet, there's danger outside your door, he's rescuing you. You have no reason to not believe him. He waits until things go down, a castle under siege, but rather than taking you to where you're supposed to go, he climbs onto the horse and starts... riding away. It gets further and further into the distance, and you might ask why, what's going on? You have a job to do, he has a battle to be fought. But he says you're going far, far away, someplace you'll be safe.

But what about the divine beasts, the seals, the Twilight, whatever threat runs in this world in this time, what about the threat of Ganon, you ask? He says it doesn't matter anymore. You were doomed to fail, he thinks, it's either stay here and die, or run away. All that matters is you. And he'd like you to feel the same way for him. You will with enough time, don't worry.

He just wants this happy, quiet life with you that he’s been denied time and time again. It’s all he wants. If fate won’t give it to him, he’ll make it happen himself, and carve out the life he is determined to have, defying even the will of higher power.

How difficult is it to escape from them? How do they keep you restrained? How do they deal with attempted escape? 

He gets it. Really, he does. "Stop following me!" You yell. Well, he understands why you might feel that way, but this is kinda his job. He thinks you're naive. Not that he would ever, ever have a thought that you're imperfect, of course! It's because you're so perfect and pure that you're... less aware of the dangers all around.

He'll let you think you're free, perhaps. He's more than capable of being quiet, quiet is kind of his thing. Watching you from a short distance is easy. Of course, his horse might make a noise, he can't really help that, or he might misstep on a branch or something. And then you turn around and get all mad again. Now you're even more angry. Well, he can also tell your guardians/father, who will encourage you to accept it. You can't help but feel a little bad -- he's just doing his job.

Now, our aware, runaway Link, well, does he really need to keep you restrained? What would you go back to? Certain death, a land destroyed? Sometimes you mention home, and he's quick to remind you that home doesn't exist anymore. His home is where you are. Can't you feel the same way? You found peace here in this little place -- a village far far away. Travelers, you call yourselves. What's the point in going elsewhere? How would you ever survive without him? He's not very good at being subtle or skillful about the psychological manipulation, it's obvious he's trying to scare you into not leaving, but... it still works, because really, he has a point.

He doesn't want to have to use physical restraint, in any case. And for the most part, it's not needed, because one important aspect of your relation is that his job kinda revolves around you (in some incarnations), or, perhaps you live in the same little village, but either way the thing is that his presence does the job well enough -- he's always there, perhaps more so than almost any other yandere. Even when you think you've managed to get away from him for a moment, somehow his face pops up out of nowhere. How he manages to pull it off is a mystery, you swear he manages to find you so well and predict your movements it's inhuman.

But if you really, really pose a problem, a smarter and sneakier darling that somehow manages to keep slipping out of his grasp and running off (you never get away for more than about 20 minutes or so, but nonetheless), you keep trying to run off when he's sleeping (he wakes up in approximately 25 seconds if your presence is absent from the bed, but that's still enough time to run out the front door), every time he turns his head (which isn't often) you're trying to disappear... well, in that case, he can reach a point of deciding more straightforward measures are necessary. He hates to do it, really, at least when he's not yet at a snapping point. But it's for your own good. And he says so, quite apologetically.

But it's not so bad, it's not like you're being chained to a wall or anything. For one, he got leather ties so you'd be more comfortable, but more importantly, as your guardian, he figured the best thing for you to be tied to would be... himself. Think of it like friendship bracelets! It's just... got a 5-foot chain connecting them. This way you can't sneak off at night, and you won't get too far when he's distracted. It's a safety measure.

How easy are they to trick, deceive, or manipulate?

He's a learner. At first, it's easy. Honestly, he is a rather naive, gullible boy, sometimes he reminds you of a happy dog with his bright eyes. He likes to believe the best of people, give them the benefit of the doubt in all circumstances, and that goes double for you, who he believes can do no wrong.

And even when you do lie to him, it's still not wrong. You didn't do anything bad. Clearly there has simply been a misunderstanding, and you thought you had to lie. Or perhaps you simply forgot a detail or were confusing something with something else. It wasn't malicious on your end, he knows that.

He's actually significantly smarter than he lets on in practical knowledge, though. Those dungeon puzzles pay off, you know? He's got pattern recognition down. So over time he learns how to distinguish when you're lying to him or attempting to deceive him, and sees through it increasingly well.

And yet, he doesn't really... get mad over it, most of the time. Again, he's just capable of deluding himself into believing there's a reason. He believes so strongly in your goodness that he finds a way to interpret everything you do as out of benevolence. So you snuck out the window and didn't tell him you were going for a walk because you just wanted to get away from his suffocating presence for once? You were just thinking of him. You didn't want to burden him and wanted to give him a break. Well, that's thoughtful, but don't worry, he doesn't need a break. He thinks it's precious you're so considerate of him though!

You don't tell him you were talking to that person, and you lie and say no when he asks, because you don't want him to worry, and because you underestimate how dangerous others can be. He's told you a million times and you don't listen, but that's ok, it's because you're just so pure you see the best in everyone. Everything you do is good.

Because he perceives your lies, he will still work against and around it. He won't confront you on your lies, he'll just make sure to deal with the situation -- you lied about sneaking out, well, he'll just keep watch and be ready to meet you outside next time. You lied about talking to a person, well, he'll just have to make sure they stay away from you instead.

If you're trying to trick him, he just plays along until necessary. Smiles and nods. He gets the suspicion you're planning a break-out when he told you he was leaving to go get something from town... rather than saying so, he just decides, you know what? Why don't you come with him? Oh, you're feeling sick, you tell him it's ok, go without you? Well, he can't leave you alone then! Because you're clearly not and just trying to get him to leave... or, as he says, he can't just leave you alone. He'll go another day.

He's fairly manipulable when it comes to praise and affection. You can easily Pavlov him into certain behaviors or patterns with just the slightest words of praise and affection. He's not a very outwardly expressive person, tends to stay quiet, but you can tell how he feels inside when you give the slightest praise, a hug, a kiss on the cheek -- you can see that soft hint of a smile and tell that inside, he's basically melting, even if it's not obvious to most people. And, much like the lying, he’s honestly often aware of it, but he just can’t help it.

How lenient are they? What privileges can you have, and what will you be denied?

He tries to get you the things that he feels will make you happy. Your happiness is incredibly important to him, and he usually thinks about how any action he plans to take might affect you, spends a lot of time debating choices of things to do or say and try to determine how each one will affect you and choose accordingly.

As such, he goes out of his way to support the things you want to do. Have a hobby? He'll find the best materials available. Want a book or a food? He'll obtain it through some means. Even if procuring it involves a side-quest-y set of mundane tasks or scouring the world for 70 of this and 50 of that to exchange it for the item from an obscure specialist, it's all worth it.

The only thing he just doesn't give up on is the constant vigilance and insistence on being by your side more or less every waking second. And every sleeping second. And just every single moment you're alive. It's for your safety.

This is actually one of the things he can get a little nasty about when it comes to how he deals with it, because he quickly has the bright idea that if you don't get it, he'll make you understand. Of course, he can't actually risk you getting hurt, so he stages it. Allows you to sneak off, or at least think you have, and walk right into the path of those monsters he lured, or the people he hired to intimidate you. Of course, it's only natural that he shows up at the last possible second, right on time to save you. You should expect that, after all, it's his responsibility to protect you, of course fate works out perfectly like this. See, he was right, it's so dangerous, and without him you'd be dead. Hopefully you grasp that now.

What kind of rules do they have? What kind of punishment would they use?

His is mostly related to vigilance. Where are you? Who have you been talking to? Who was that person you were talking with just now? What did they say? He's not nosy. He just cares about you. It’s in the job description. You ought to understand just how much certain bad people would love to find you and hurt you. That's why he has to know.

This isn't our modern world, so there's no phones or tracking devices to speak of, just himself, which, well, might as well be a tracking device since he never seems to have difficulty finding you. Sometimes you're not sure how he does it.

He tells you that you don't have to be with him 24/7, but you will be, even if you don't realize it. He's aware enough to know that you'll feel suffocated and get mad if you're aware of his presence all the time, so he gives you your "alone" time, aka, the "follow her quietly from a 20+ foot distance" time. It all feels the same to you. Well, sometimes you feel eyes on you, but you shake the feeling off as paranoia.

So it's not so much that he sets rules and reacts when they're broken, but rather, he works his way around anything you might do so well that he doesn't need you to follow his rules, or really, you take them more as suggestions. But honestly, that's kind of worse. It's enough to drive a darling to the brink of a mental breakdown very quickly. With Link you will inevitably become paranoid, nervous, you feel like you're going insane because he manages to pop up everywhere, he always knows what you did when you did it and you have no idea how it is even conceivably possible for him to know some of the things that he knows. He confronts you very plainly and quietly, often sweetly, asking why you did this or that or telling you it's ok, you don't have to hide anything, surely there’s a good reason, and if not, he forgives you anyway. In a way, it's worse than an angry confrontation. You begin to feel like he's omnipresent, like he can read your mind, and it truly takes a mental toll and affect you worse than any normal yandere's concept of punishment.

This ultimately works out well in his favor. The more you just do what he wants, the less it feels like a violation or intrusion that he knows these things, since he was there with you, it makes sense, and you continuously get bent to his will.

How do they deal with rivals, or perceived rivals? Will they get rid of them? Will they kill them themselves, or find another way?

Ah, and thus we get to that brutality rating.

It would be unthinkable to think that any sort of scum would even dare. Even he isn't worthy of being with you, and someone else thinks they could be? So, he more or less views "rivals" as an offense. When they're threats, well, he's allowed to deal with them. When they're not, well... he has a wonderful reputation. If he says he overheard that person planning usurpation or assassination, that they realized he was listening in and wildly attacked him, everyone will believe him. Even if the death seems a little... non-immediate. And uh... frankly... overkill. How exactly... did those limbs get perfectly severed during equally armed combat? And was it... really necessary... to kinda spill entrails all over like that? He'll apologize, of course, he was just so outraged by the thought of someone hurting you or your family, you know? You notice his eye twitches a bit as he says it.

He has a lot of... bottled up frustrations, which we'll touch on in the nsfw section as well, but it tends to manifest in those two ways: sex and violence. Rather than exerting stress and anger and frustration as it comes, he lets it fester. He tries to maintain being the noble, humble, self-sacrificing person he feels he should be. That is... difficult to do for a long time. People expect a lot from him, even in timelines where he's not necessarily realized as the hero quite yet, he usually has a lot of responsibilities. But then you tack on the whole hero thing? The weight of the world is sometimes, quite literally, on his shoulders. Do you have any idea the kind of stress that comes with that knowledge? It's not pleasant. And it quickly bottles up, a very very fragile bottle set to eventually shatter in a matter of time.

On a longer sort of quest, he just kinda... leaves a trail of destruction in his wake. Enemies don't actually just poof out of existence the way they do on-screen, you know. Anyone coming across an area he's just been through is met with literal piles upon piles of corpses, sometimes monsters, but sometimes people. He takes a very scorched earth sort of policy when it comes to dealing with things.

He's able to easily get close to people, with that sweet face and puppy eyes and lithe body, people don't really feel on guard around him nor intimidated. That makes it significantly easier to infiltrate enemy hideouts, earn favors, and work his way in to be able to commit mass murder more easily. Granted, no one thinks too much of it because they *are* truly enemies, after all, they *did* need to be taken out and well, if the rulers can choose to either send a group of ten soldiers or just one guy and get the job done equally well either way, they'll go with the latter option. No one thinks anything of it, except the occasional person who laughs and says something to the effect of remind me to never get on your bad side, haha! He gives that sheepish, sweet little smile, and jokingly tells them that yeah, better not.

How easy is it to make them mad? What does their anger look like?

For you, nearly impossible. For others, at a hair trigger.

For the most part, he conceals anger well until, as aforementioned, it bottles up and bursts. The truth is he gets irritated virtually all the time by other people. People who talk to you. Look at you. Smile at you. He’s actually rather easily annoyed even when you’re not involved, but again, he’s good at hiding it until it builds.

His rage has a commonality with his calm -- it's quiet. At least, at first. When it's directed at others, his eyes narrow. It's the telltale sign that someone has ignited his rage. It burns on the inside, it starts off as a spark that builds and builds and grows larger and larger until it's a blazing fire that consumes everything in his path. It's a loss of composure, a rare moment of complete loss of self-control. From his own perspective, it feels like he's not in control of his own body, it's all a blur happening in front of him and when it's over he's looking down at his own hands, unable to process his own actions, sometimes unable to remember them.

But it's violent, merciless, unforgiving. It does not yield to begging, it does not leave anything alive unless forced to. You remember the first time you realized how unnatural it was, how shocked you were at how he did something that certainly went against the code he was sworn to follow, the very first time you felt truly afraid of Link. It was a walk in town -- someone called out to you, spitting obscenities about you and your family, your lineage, threw something at you -- he caught it in his hand and crushed it, and quickly, without a word, advanced on the offender. And, to make a long story short, you had to prevent him from beating a man to death in public in broad daylight. He was forgiven by his superiors, but even they seemed shocked. You had to pull him off, and when he jerked his head around to look at whatever was stopping him -- before his face softened as he recognized your own face -- the split second you saw the burn of hatred and fury in eyes that were normally so soft and loving, was nothing short of unsettling, you still recall the chill that ran down your spine.

And honestly? It's terrifying. And the first time, it's shocking. Sure, you knew he could fight. You've seen him fight off monsters, bokoblins and lizalfos and the like. But something is different about seeing the blood of a human being run down his sword, dripping onto the ground, to see the bodies and the blank, numb gaze on his features he always has after it's over. The absolute lack of hesitancy he has to run human enemies through before they even have a chance to explain themselves, how unbothered he seems by the carnage left in his wake. The way he turns back to you, drenched in red and smiles, tells you it's ok, you're safe now. There's no need to look so scared.

And it changes how you view him, in the long run. Less of a guardian angel, more of a guardian dog, one that defends your name when you never asked him to. Pleads to tell him not to fall on deaf ears -- you just don't understand why it has to be this way, he says, you can't comprehend the threat they posed. From the sweet boy that leaves you flowers and repairs and instead leaves a wave of destruction in his path you would not have thought possible.

Directed towards you, though, it's entirely different. He tries his best to have patience with you, no matter what. He smiles, he tries to make excuses as to why you'd say this or do that, why you'd feel a certain way, and he's rather good at deluding himself to give you the benefit of the doubt.

But when it reaches an end, when he can no longer lie to himself, when you push it to a point that you truly make him mad, it's more of a snap. The times he'll lay hands on you in a truly violent way are rare, and as aforementioned, very brief. It's usually not so much of actually a blow, so much as a grab. He just can't get what he's trying to tell you through your thick head, so he stresses it, trying to make you understand as he grabs you by the upper arms, shaking you with each word, and he only stops when he sees the pain and fear in your eyes, drawing his hands back at lightning speed. He saves you from some danger very narrowly, one of the few times he lost track of you for a moment and had to frantically search before coming across you being attacked. What would I have done if something happened to you? Don't you understand that? He's so lost in the relief it takes him a moment to feel you beating on his arms in the embrace, choking and wheezing that you can't breathe, that his grip is so tight it feels like he'll snap you in half. He draws back again, and he apologizes, but it will certainly happen more than once.

So they see you as above them, beneath them, or equal to them?

Above. Like, so, so, so far above. He feels like he doesn't even deserve to look at you. Of course, neither does anyone else, so he's just, you know, stepping up to bear the burden of wrongdoing to keep people even worse than him away from you.

So it's less that you're just above him so much as you're above everyone. He's actually, perhaps surprisingly, a little bit of a pessimist about the world. The world is full of so many terrible people and so many horrible things happen that he's borne witness to. It's a "world cold and hard, (y/n) soft and warm" sort of thing. You're the one good thing, the thing that makes him happy, the ultimate source of comfort he has, and he has to prevent you from being defiled by the evil of the world, keep you innocent and sweet (even if he's just deluding himself to think you are those things in the first place).

This ties into, again, how he interprets every action you take as good and benevolent -- he has the "you can do no wrong" mentality. Even very blatantly malicious things, he'll interpret in a way that makes you somehow still come out a perfect, innocent angel. If you do harm to others, well, they simply deserved it. You did something technically wrong, but you knew no better, or you were desperate. You can't be held responsible for any of it. And if you're mean to him, well, he probably did something to make you upset.

How determined are they for you to love them? How hard will they try to make it happen? Or are they content just having you?

Sort of a duality. Yes, he's very persistent. He thinks about it all the time. Every time you yell and try to run and hurl nasty insults at him, it hurts far more than you realize. He doesn't let it show on his face or in his voice, but it really does, and it gets to him sometimes. He's hyper observant of every little thing you do, your body language, your tone, the way you look at him, and the slightest of differences can change his mood internally, although it tends to look the same outwardly.

He makes little mental notes of it -- today she didn't flinch when I touched her shoulder. Today she didn't frown when she saw me coming. Little things like that will make his entire day. Likewise, the inverse kills him inside. He aims to make every day one of the former days, where the littlest signs of acceptance or even kindness and affection give him a sort of high that makes him feel like he's floating.

He tries his best to do things that he thinks will, well, earn love. Every opportunity to do something for you, he takes it. Everything he sees he'd think you'd like, he buys (or steals, or... loots from a dead body) for you. On and on that idea goes. And although he doesn't say too much, when he does speak to you, he usually has something nice to say. He views it in a formulaic way -- ironically, think about it like those collectibles in overworlds. You get enough of this or that thing, and once you have enough, you can go talk to this or that person and donate them all and get a reward, right? He's accustomed to viewing things that way. Love should be the same way. If he just completes enough tasks and gathers enough items, eventually he'll unlock your love.

That being said, even if it doesn't happen, much to your despair, he just... doesn't. Give. Up. He doesn't quit. No matter how many times you tell him, it doesn't make a difference. You can tell him you'll never love him, and it's like it goes in one ear and out the other. He keeps trying. And he never, ever, ever stops trying. What did you expect? The boy's been fighting the same enemy over and over across lifetimes, needless to say his spirit has build up some persistence.

Bonus: Is there anything that makes them unique, in comparison to other yanderes?

Bonus: Zelda/Triforce of Wisdom Darling

And don't worry. If it all goes wrong, when he fails, those divergences in time where the hero is vanquished and evil wins out -- it's not the end. Somehow, that's the feeling he gets, holding your little lifeless body up, running hands across your cold skin. Somehow, he feels oddly calm. Like it hurts, but it's ok. Like he'll see you again. Maybe not soon, but one day. This time didn't work out. But the next one will.

And that's the feeling you'll always have. Every time you meet him and you feel like you've met before, the lingering memories when you wake from your dreams -- flying through skies and sailing on oceans, a child, an adult, a boy you've never met, or one you've known all your life, but it's always the same face, the same voice, the one right beside you in the waking world. You sometimes wonder if he has the same feelings, the same dreams, the same sense of something greater than yourselves at work, the sense of being just smaller pieces in a much bigger picture.

The sense of permanency, that each other is all there will ever be -- regardless of how it makes you feel, regardless of how that scares you, sometimes you feel like you can never be free. Sometimes, when you think of running away, those dark moments when you think of even escaping from life itself, it feels futile. It's as if you know it would never hold him away forever. As if death is insignificant. Perhaps in this lifetime, you'll become aware of why that is, or perhaps not.

With other obsessive lovers, just the idea of til death do us part is a terrifying thought. But, for Link, not even death can keep him away from you. Your suffering is already determined by the will of higher power, for the sake of a greater good. 

In truth, it’s the goddesses who made him this way intentionally -- it’s designed to ensure your safety, even at the cost of your suffering. Again, for a greater good. Sure, you may live one lifetime to the next desperately locked in the same cycle in which your freedom and will is stripped from you, but in the end, it serves a purpose. 

Nor will he change -- perhaps this one this time is a bit more spirited, more calm, more pessimistic, more optimistic... but in the end, at their core, they're the same soul, with the same will deep, deep down. The same drive to find you and protect you. The same love for you, an all-consuming love that destroys everything in its path to you and leaves ruin in its wake.

And if fate should one day keep you apart, should things change, for whatever reason, it’s unable to change him. There's another force even more powerful than fate determined to keep you together. The only thing more unavoidable, inevitable, and unescapable than fate, is Link himself.

------------------------------------

General perverseness: how sexual of a person are they? What’s their drive like? How touchy do they get? Do they have any reservations about sexuality?

In moments of passion, he changes a bit, unlike other more submissive yans who stay consistent in their reverence and desire to please.

You see, after a while, being as lenient and tolerant and flexible and completely devoted as he is... constantly self-sacrificing in so many ways, to you, to Hyrule, to the world... some frustrations build up. It's a big, big bottle of emotion, all tucked away and festering, getting greater and greater and eventually it has to explode somehow.

His reservations and inhibitions fall away. Perhaps a darker, more selfish side comes out. Perhaps that's why he's so rough. He knows he'll regret it later, the bruises from how hard he grips, the marks from the bites, but the hormones and the heat takes over. He'll feel bad for defiling you. He'll apologize. And he'll do it again. And again. And again.

But once the resolve crumbles, it topples. That is, he can't partially maintain it -- if it's partially gone, it falls apart completely. He lets go, so to speak. And when he lets go, you find that underneath that carefully constructed resolve and willpower that holds him back, he can be a very, very rough and possessive lover. In his normal state, he wouldn't dare think of you as a possession, or as something he's even worthy of. He would like so, so much to think that, to feel like he's allowed to -- but he doesn't. He chastises himself for even having such a desire. But in those moments, when his resolve is gone and his brain isn't thinking quite too clearly, he might even have to audacity to say "mine." Even if it's not true, not now, maybe it will be. He would like that so much. His and his alone.

And in a moment of clarity, he might even throw away the inhibition on purpose. The more selfish side, the same Link that drags you away from your destiny -- he's already forsaken his responsibilities, hasn't he? Why care anymore about the structures that no longer exist, your status and his, if there's no kingdom left? He likes that it happened, even. This way, this time, you can throw off those titles, those roles. Without your status, your title, there's nothing stopping him from making you his. And you will be his, and nothing more. It's all you need to be. So he doesn't have to care anymore about any of that, he doesn't have to stop himself from going wild. Biting into every little spare patch of skin, covering your body with marks that make him feel comforted to see.

As far as drive it's a bit of a two-sided duality. Outwardly he's not a very sexual person at all, blushes and stutters and averts his gaze at the slightest mention of suggestive topics, tries his best to be Respectful(tm) by always looking away when you're in a compromising position, or your skirt flies up, etc etc. Given how constant his vigilance is, he has a tendency to accidentally walk in on your changing or bathing, except unlike with many yanderes, it's genuinely an accident. Not that the image doesn't stick in his mind, nor does he wish he hadn't gotten to see, but he does feel guilty, and it was genuinely unintentional. He kinda freezes up, so it takes a moment for him to actually snap out of it and run out.

That being said, he quickly develops something of a masturbation addiction when he's younger, it starts as more of a stress reliever than anything, He's so sweet and always feels bad about talking about his problems and feelings, so that and, well, violence are the only ways he can get it out. Thus he learns to channel stress and nerves into sexuality, and once he has a real living body and not just his hand, that dependency on cumming to relieve it doesn't change.

How forceful are they? Do they care about your willingness?

Particularly so, yes, cares quite a bit. And it takes a while for him to feel comfortable. Even consensually, the first few times he touches you for several months, he's got trembling hands and stays quieter than ever, constantly freezes up every time you move or make a noise because he thinks he's done something wrong. He has to be coaxed into feeling more comfortable before he gets used to it, but he will build confidence over time.

As addressed before, though, if he's pushed and pushed and pushed long enough, you can get a darker side to come out. This is most likely something that would only occur post-kidnapping in a distant time, once he's far away from any possibility of consequence and destruction has set in to the world around you. He starts to get a little bitter, if you've been mean to him. It all builds up. Don't you get that he's literally saved your life? That he devoted every waking second to you? Isn't he kinda entitled to some thanks? The cycle of time never rewards him. Even the figures he helps over time rarely give him more than a verbal praise and thanks, maybe an item here or there, and then disappear. His role feels thankless. He starts to feel like he deserves something, something tangible, in return.

Surprisingly, though, he actually does not take the route of guilt-tripping or emotional manipulation or gaslighting his way into it like a lot of the sweeter yanderes when he does have that snap. His snaps/breakdowns are rather extreme in terms of how much of a polar opposite they are to his normal state, rather than just a slight bend of his normal personality. Rather than taking the route of most yanderes like himself, he just gets directly physically forceful. Still somewhat sweet, though, reminds you he loves you, he'd die for you, you're his entire world. You'd argue that doesn't really change the actions, but considering how frightening he is in that state, you're not dumb enough to vocalize that.

The guilt consumes him alive afterwards. Like, immediately afterwards. He's still panting and twitching and buried inside when it sets in. That being said, he doesn't get to stuttering and profusely apologizing, like he does over smaller offenses. It's all done and he can't take it back, so he just kinda collapses and says nothing. He's not the best with words, you know. It's an odd mixture of guilt and, honestly, a bit of satisfaction and relief. It feels like letting go of some self-imposed burden, that feeling of finally surrendering to some deep want, even if it comes with a lot of remorse, the relief of finally letting go does have a good feeling as well... and because of that, it’s another one of those barriers that, once broken, can’t be built up again.

What sort of kinks or fetishes do they have, or would they fill?

In all honesty the boy is, for the most part, a fairly gentle and vanilla lover. He doesn't really need anything special to get off -- he's easily excited and cums very very easily too. Just the prospect of getting to stick his dick in you in any capacity is enough to make him nearly burst at the thought honestly.

In general, as aforementioned, he's very very cautious and gentle to a point, but has a tendency to get actually kinda rough once he gets into it. The thing is, the roughness aspect is actually unintentional. He's one of those boys that is a little bit unaware of his own strength, doesn't process exactly how hard and fast he's going. He just gets lost in the feeling, kinda enters a dazed lusty haze where he's less aware of his actions. Doesn't realize he's literally got an iron grip pressing your head down on his dick or into the bed until you start flailing your hands because you can't breathe. Doesn't realize how hard he was gripping until he sees the bruises on your arms and hips later. That sort of deal -- poor thing is just unaware and doesn't have enough blood in his brain to think straight.

Biting

Surprisingly a really big one for him. (Remnants of a past life cycle with some lupine experiences perhaps?) In all seriousness, he could not explain exactly why if asked, it's one of those "I just like it" sort of things. It feels like yet another way to conjoin the two bodies, pulls you close. The marking aspect is also nice. Granted, he feels guilty afterwards, tries to help it heal. He has that same duality where moments ago he was this intimidating beast of a human being, rough and growly and jerking you like you were weightless, and now he's back to this bright eyed softie stuttering while he apologizes.

The guilt is mixed with a bit of enjoyment, though. It's constantly conflicting -- sure, part of him understands it's embarrassing and will help you cover up, but part of him doesn't want to, he wants people to see. Part of him looks at the marks and tells himself internally to never do that again, and part of him sees them and just wants to give you even more. It's a constant internal conflict, poor thing.

As far as a place, he likes the neck and shoulders best, simply because it's the most visible and it's the most passionate ones to create, when your bodies are tightly locked together. That being said, though, he also has a thing for biting at the insides of your thighs. It's another one of those I just like it sort of things.

Sometimes, when you're asleep, or pretending to be, you can feel him trace the bite marks with his fingers, softly running them over the circular pattern, just enough to barely ghost over your flesh.

Somnophilia

It puts him at ease. This one is particularly prevalent towards the beginning of your relationship, before you really know... how he is. He has this image of you as so pure and he couldn't bear the thought of defiling you with his horrible horrible thoughts. The guilt eats away at him for a while, but eventually he just can't hold back, but how could he ever do anything to you and risk consequence? So... the solution he comes up with is waiting until you sleep.

He tests the waters to see how heavy of a sleeper you are. Calls your name at increasing volume, lightly runs his fingers over your hair, pokes your face, whispers in your ear, runs his hands over your arms. Just to see what makes you rustle, if anything, so he knows the limits. If it turns out you're an incredibly light sleeper, well, unfortunately that means he's limited to just jerking off to your sleeping form, but that's ok. Just seeing your soft face and the cute way you breathe, the slightest way your lips open, that's enough for him.

If it turns out you're a heavier sleeper though, well, he tries to fight the temptation, but ends up going further. Slowly climbs onto your bed, careful to make the weight shift as gently as possible. Slowly pulls the covers back. Runs his hands up and down. It's a lot better when he can actually see your body as he jerks off, honestly. If he's feeling particularly risky, he might press your thighs together, feel how soft your skin is to his cock, how nice the squeezing pressure between them is.

He gets easily lost in a haze, though, so he inevitably ends up accidentally cumming on you and has to frantically find a way to lightly dab it up without waking you. He panics quite a bit, but that doesn't stop him from doing it again the very next night.

Overstimulation/Forced Orgasm

It just means he's doing a good job, really. Sure, you squeal and kick your feet back and forth and tug at his hair, but that's just because it feels good. Orgasms equate to love and feel good, right? Sure there's a little bit of pain when you go overboard, but then it just leads to feeling even better, right?

It's kind of an irrational compulsion rather than a logical goal, though. He just has an impulsive need to feel you quiver and spasm and clench, it basically gives him a chemical high hit and a wave of reassurance, makes him feel good in both the physical sense and the emotional sense. The first one sends him into this compulsive need to feel it over and over and over again, as many times as he can. It's another one of his internal conflict things -- sure, he knows it's hurting, but he just has to get one more. Just one more. But of course, every time turns into "just one more" when he's been saying that for half an hour now.

And, to be honest, it kind of gives him a pride boost to think he can make you cum against your will. How many people struggle to achieve that even when both parties are trying? It makes him feel good in an adequacy sort of way, he feels needed.

Size Kink/Distension

You know, there's a well-known thing among the male-lovers in this world when it comes to size. It's never the arrogant, loud guys, it's never the social butterflies, it's never the tall guys, it's never the beefy muscly guys. No, they're not the ones that end up somehow bestowed with absolute monster cocks. It's always the soft, lean boys who don't talk much. And they're always painfully unaware of it, too.

He's no exception. Not to the size or the complete lack of awareness. He hasn't spent a lot of time around guys his age too much, he's always been the one sent for some special task and ends up out in the wilderness by himself on journeys, or, in some lifetimes, accompanying you most of the time. He doesn't know what the average dick looks like, so he has no idea he's far above average.

This might sound like a plus, and of course in some ways it is, but also he doesn't think about the fact that the average body isn't properly equipped to handle it. You're supposed to just kinda put it in, that's how the sex works, right? Poor thing, especially if it's entirely consensual sex, he's just kinda ???? because why are you in pain? What is he doing wrong? You have to eventually explain it's literally just his body, not something he's doing.

That being said, naturally, he's a humble person, but hearing you say that does kinda... make him feel good inside. A little bit proud. He's not a person who takes a lot of pride in many things, so he likes having this one thing, and quickly notices you can visibly see it through the bulge it makes in your stomach. Especially if it's in a position where your back is pressed to his front, every little movement creates the bulge, so expect to get a lot of that.

He doesn't really bring it up much or talk about it when he's actually fucking you, it's more like, as with many things, something he's quietly aware of and silently enjoys a lot internally, even if it's not voiced.

How do they feel about pregnancy or babies? Do they want them?

Yes and no. It has to do with his overactive protection instinct. What if something happened or went wrong? He couldn't take that. He couldn't lose you.

At the same time, he likes kids, and he's very good with them, very patient. And over time, realizes that a kid would be the perfect tool of manipulation, and besides that, isn't it a beautiful thing, an ultimate manifestation of love?

So how to work around that... Ultimately, what he decides to do is have a kid... Just not by blood. There are plenty of orphans in Hyrule, wandering the streets and the wilderness, picking one up is easy. ...You wouldn't leave this poor child to suffer out there, to fend for themselves, would you? Nor would you leave him to take care of it by himself... Right?

What kind of (nsfw) punishments would they use?

Oh, it's not like he thinks of it that way. He would call it... a reminder. You put yourself in danger again? You tried to go back again? You were gone and for ten whole minutes he didn't know where you were? What could the solution to this issue be? The only thing his brain can really come up with is making sure you need him. Making sure you're content and satisfied here with him so you don't go running off.

Thus we return to the forced orgasm thing -- see, you do need him. It feels good, right? You say it hurts, and maybe it does a little, but ultimately you wouldn't be cumming if it wasn't good. No one else can ever do that. No one else knows you like this. No one else was made for you like this. You can't replace him. You need him. And he can keep going as many times as it takes until you see that, too. Even if he gets milked dry, he has a mouth and hands for a reason.

And by "until you see that," I mean until you say it. In his more... emotionally intense moments, he gets a bit insistent. He needs to hear you say it. Admit it to yourself. And to him. That you need him, that you depend on him, that you'll never leave again. And don't think your patience and tolerance can stand a chance of outlasting his -- it will keep going until you say it.

What body parts of their darling do they like the most?

He's one of those wholesome type of boys who goes with something sweet. He says maybe your hair, your face, your skin, your eyes. It's all so comforting. So familiar. Of course, not to say that he doesn't like your less wholesome mentionable parts, but he wants to be chivalric about such a question, and feels answering that way would be too disrespectful.

In his unspoken thoughts, though, he likes the hips. It's a part of you he can grab onto and hold you close with. He puts his hands there a lot and holds tight, like he feels like at any moment you could slip out of his grasp. And, I mean, it's nice to look at, can't forget that.

[nho-jungle]

this is my addition to the hermitcraft propaganda. this is focused at dsmp fans bc i am one. 

hermitcraft is a long running smp that started in 2012. it runs in seasons, with each season lasting around a year, often just over. they are currently on season 8, and started fairly recently. 

the players on hermitcraft tend to change each season, but i have compiled a list of who i think you might enjoy, based off of your favourite dsmp member!

(feel free to add ur own suggestions too!)

IF YOU LIKE... TOMMYINNIT- 

MumboJumbo: have you got ADHD? do you love how tommyinnit says Things and other people get confused? well then MumboJumbo is the hermit for you! he's absolutely absurd. a spoon. he's also over 6ft tall and built like a brick shit house. insane. this man is an enigma. he's also a cinematographer. who even is this guy. (he also does cool redstone builds and always sounds surprised when they work even tho he's been doing this since 2012.)

BdoubleO100: a rabid chihuahua in the body of a human. truly follows that feral energy that makes up tommyinnit. mans built an entire mountain last season and he's doing it again! crazy! he's also the king of sleep. night is a rare phenomenon on hermitcraft, since bdubs starts clicking his bed at the barest hint of sunset. gotta shweep!

Grian: the stereotypical pick. he's the prankster man, everyone seems to think he's pretty childish and he often has the younger brother role even though he's not the youngest on the server. has started/been majorly involved in two wars. had an alter ego called poultry man who would fly around dropping eggs and spawning chickens everywhere.

RANBOO-

Rendog: lore man lore man!!!! he has a bunch of fun and interesting characters and he puts a lot of thought into his episodes, from his builds to his mc skin, to make sure everything comes together perfectly. I don't watch his hermitcraft stuff but I've seen him via other hermit's povs and he rlly does pick a role and throw himself into it. it's amazing.

PHILZA-

EthosLab: do you like anime kinnies? do you like old gods of minecraft? well let me introduce you to ethoslab! i want to study him in a lab. he causes problems on purposes. he builds super random redstone things. he messes with noteblocks. he was head of shennanigans. his minecraft skin is kakashi hatake from naruto. there was a block named after him in the 2013 april fools update (the EthoSlab). who is this man. i think he also has the longest running minecraft lets play. what the heck.

Grian: bird man. good at flying. chaotic bitch. idk some of the vibes are there.

SAPNAP-

Tangotek: crazy redstone man. builds crazy minigames. idk there aren't actually many similarities here other than they're both often associated with fire in fanworks despite not actually having that much to do with it.

FUNDY-

EthosLab: aforementioned anime kinnie. crazy redstone. idk. Zedaph: in season 7 he built a cave of contraptions which contained these amazing redstone machines that found the most complicated and convoluted ways to perform regular tasks, just for the hell of it. what a guy! Iskall85: they're friends :3. that is all. (actually they both just have very similar Vibes. I have no other way to describe it. it's just Vibes).

SCHLATT-

Cubfan135: (specifically season 6). evil capitalist man (/lh). ran a big corporation with scar. they made profit from a war. idk i dont watch cub, thats all i could think of. GoodTimesWithScar: evil capitalist man with cub in season 6. in season 7 he got voted mayor and then started charging the shops to allow them to be accessed from the road. there was also a big "war" over mycelium. fun times. he's actually a very genuine and sweet guy. also his cat jellie is in the game bc he won a competition or smthin. idk man he loves his cat so much. you know what builds belong to scar bc there's just jelies everywhere.

TECHNOBLADE-

FalseSymmetry: okay listen the mcc teams are being announced as I'm typing this so my brain started thinkin mcc and basically they're both well known for being good at pvp. i dont watch false but i know she has a tumblr so i'd trust her with a knife.

Grian: thinkin mcc again. they teamed for mcc pride. you can go watch that if u want to get grians Vibes while still having a dsmp member present for some familiarity. idk.

NIHACHU-

GeminiTay: a lot of ppl say they like niki's streams bc of the comforting vibes and general chill atmosphere, and I think gem matches that pretty well. cy once said she sounds like fluttershy and tbh i sorta agree. shes an awesome builder and insanely smart and even though she's new this season im already incredibly attatched to her.

TUBBO-

Zedaph: aforementioned cave of contraptions rlly fits tubbo's vibe. i think he's going the mad scientist route this season too. Docm77: another mad scientist. already early on he made this super weird lighting farm thing? i dont even know but i've seen the clip and its MAD. even if you dont watch hermitcraft you should check out that individual clip.

FOOLISH-

literally any of them bc i genuinely belive wholeheartedly that foolish would fit perfectly on hermitcraft if he could manage not to swear. (altho maybe cub bc last season he build a giant pyramid.)

[padfootastic]

mme propenn pls be so kind and answer 3! 4! 8! and 32!(and how many of those are ao3 is the real question 💀)

3. 3 films you could watch for the rest of your life and not get bored of?

this is the worst question ever bc i’m terrible with visual media like u can show me anything and i’d probably get bored within a few minutes. the only exceptions are when im in a theater (bc i’ve paid 💀) or when im w friends and have some external focus (also im a terrible person to watch anything w bc im constantly just making comments & shitty jokes hehehe)

but i guess if i had to choose 3, it would be—

- iron man (tony stark is love, tony stark is life)

- sound of music (<33333 so much nostalgia)

- help i’m so confused idk what to do uhhh magadheera bc ram charan is v v hot hehehehe

4. what’s an inside joke you have with your family or friends?

you’ve rly brought out the big guns huh bc i’m so confused about this lol

hmm i guess this one thing i do whenever i’m being sarcastic is put on this terrible valley girl accent where you stretch out all the consonants and act very coy and stuff. always, always gets a giggle out of everyone i talk to bc it’s so exaggerated.

ooh no wait there’s another one! so recently someone asked me something a bit personal about why i didn’t do something and i answered ‘mental health’. conversation closed. since then, we’ve made it this lil joke between ourselves where ‘mental health’ is the reason for anything we do, kind of like a cop out? (imp note: this is said in the same aforementioned accent, complete with a hair flip and wave of the hand)

8. any reacquiring dreams?

oof, yes. so many. but most i can’t remember. see, i’m a huge, huge dreamer. like i love sleeping and i can go for hooooooours at a time (my record is like,,,20 at a stretch. i’m v proud) and i always end up dreaming, even if it’s a quick power nap in class or a car lol

i think one i get very often is like,,,free falling? idk why but it always leaves me w a fun adrenaline rush & a weird leg spasm that always creeps others out lol. i also tend to lucid dream quite a bit (or atleast something resembling it?) so it’s a very choose-your-own-adventure sort of a thing.

also this isn’t…reacquiring exactly but i get very regular dreams about anything i’m currently obsessed with at the moment. and considering i get into (and out of) things v easily, it means i’m dreaming about weird shit like subway surfers or table tennis or a new cigarette quite often lol

32. how many tabs do you have open right now?

oh my god this is where i expose myself 💀💀 see, i’m sure it won’t come as a surprise to anyone who knows me but i’m an absolute tab hoarder/fiend. i hate closing them even if it’s the most basic google search in the world so stuff that actually has something of value? no chance until i’m physically forced to do it. like, this one time chrome fucked up and removed all my open tabs and i was so close to tears i cannot tell u.

but yeah, so. open tabs. i use both chrome & safari on my phone and my ipad so lemme just grab the number for you.

phone: 417, chrome. 215, safari.

ipad: 665, safari. 78, chrome.

so uh, that totals to 1375 which um. yeah. clearly i have a bit of a problem but it’s okay, everything’s okay, nothing to look at here, folks 😳

(now how many of these are ao3? god, a lot. but less than before bc i try to do these cold turkey quitting fanfiction situations where i close all the fic tabs and it’s never worked out but i always hold hope it will one day)

From this ask game

[saintobio]

the new chapter is amazing. not you making yn have a disease and make her suffer more than she already has😭😭 if i was in her shoes i wouldn't know what to do, it's just pain after pain after pain.

GOD you have no idea how good it felt to see yn ignoring gojo when he tried to apologize to her. he truly deserves that. fuck him.

also, it's really awful how sera completely dismissed how he felt about his mother leaving him like come on how are you so desperate to be with him but you couldn't accept that side of him????

also i'd like to know if she has always been that awful to her mother and siblings? i know she struggles all her life but she seems really ungrateful...

bsjdnsj dw yn’s got this :’) hopefully she’ll pull through in the end. if not <//3 as for ur question, sera’s not always like that w them but she does frequently blow up these days bc of work-related stress, pressure, and gojo lmao

Anonymous said

Can I please take my bags and go live with Toji? megumi needs a stepmom💞💞💞💞✨✨✨

I would like to point out many points but I do not think I am capable enough to detail all things😭 Just imagine if s*ra became pregnant and refused to abort it ☠️ I think that Mr. Gojo is that man who would force her to do it and pay her a good sum of money to keep the silence idk

Incredible chapter! please take good care of yourself, drink plenty of fluids and rest well🥺 Thank you for writing this masterpiece, I screamed in several scenes and cried in some gshdhhshs I send you a lot of love from here, Ai 💕💕

Sorry my bad English

guroyeu said

tw // sexu*al assault and hospital/illness things

waaa i can officially say that this was the second time where i actually teared up!! having yn remembering about the death of her mother was what got me. i’ve had a similar experience, except my uncle did end up making it after a few months. the first time was when i read about yn getting sexually assaulted cause it made me remember about my experiences with it back in highschool and middle school (and from my best friends at that time also 😟 humans suck sometimes)

so, we learn more about sera and her point of view with everything that is happening in her own personal life inside her own small apartment she got for her family. i empathized with her SO much from the beginning because my family was also not very rich. but all i can say from sera’s pov is that she’s a fucking bitch. from her pov, there was a statement that said, “See, this was the difference you and her. You didn’t experience this much hardship in life for you to complain about not winning Satoru’s heart.” honestly, fuck her. the hell does she know about yn and her personal problems?? how is she gonna complain about yn not having problems and also refuse to listen to her own boyfriend that she probably doesn’t even genuinely love?? i’m pretty sure she only likes him cause of his reputation?? idk. when satoru was showing his flawed side (when he was all stressed) then sera seemed to really hate it. she obviously doesn’t want to listen to satoru’s problems because she wants to view satoru as this one oh so strong man that she can always lean on. like satoru isn’t always going to be perfect. he’s literally in love with u. there is just so much to say about sera, but i’m sure ur other asks have that covered ;)

my feelings towards gojo have been going up and down and up and down. now we know for sure he really wants to treat yn well, and that’s good!! that’s really good. but should she forgive and accept his actions? uh no lol. but i also feel bad for gojo BUT I DONT WANNA HELP SNAJNS

again, i am so so so grateful for ieri and suguru in this chapter. both of them make my heart go brr 💓💗💕💞💘 also, toji was really nice!! i’m so glad he’s yn’s comfort character in her life cause he really does make her feel at ease <33 AND I AM SO SORRY I JUST SUBMITTED MY ASK FROM WHEN I READ CHAPTER 8. i always start reading ur updates at 12-1am (when i get in bed) since my day is too chaotic for me to start reading at 7pm since that’s when it updates here. so i basically sent u 2 asks today which i am so so sorry for cause ur ask box is constantly piling up. thank u so much for this chapter ai!! i feel like yn is really doing better at letting satoru go now and i just hope the best for the best girl <3

@primmaa said

bae, i have no words. i was screaming the whole chapter AAKJSSNSBSBSBS. i hope sera actually took the plan b(wouldn't be surprised if she didn't tho). this chapter was really the turning point for all three of them. sera's true colors are starting to show, gojo's realizing his stupidity & mc is starting to put herself first now. i hope we get to see her actually be happy now that she's realized she needs to prioritize herself more.

as always ai, ur writing is amazing! please make sure u get enough rest & that u eat properly. take care!

Anonymous said

i didn’t find chapter 8 sad so i wasn’t expecting to find chapter 9 sad but i cried so much. i also can’t help but feel for sera, like yes she’s a bitch but her life is genuinely so bad and now i kinda get why she’s so jealous. also i have a feeling that after this chapter, toji will not have an important role in the story at all and might not even be in it. you mentioned a while ago, that you didn’t want to do another main character death (but u might’ve changed your mind) so i hope that y/n doesn’t die. i loved this chapter so much, make sure u take care of yourself <3

(also can i be 🪆anon if it isn’t taken plz)

@japanesevenom said

GODDAMN IT IM CRYING ITS THREE IN THE MORNING IM DYING GODDESS AI PLEASE make it a happy ending heal my heart and end poverty you’re so good at writing man I can’t even express the feelings your expressions made me feel except pain and trauma and sleep deprivation I’ll rant more in the morning if asks are still open because I have lots of heartbreak and I will never recover really y/n energy lmfao blame this on the lack of sleep to say

Anonymous said

just read ch 9! I have some things to say Abt sera. honestly as much as i hate sera, her whole ordeal of being a terrible person is low-key understandable. especially if you're within close proximity with so many rich people whose behavior in our eyes could seem awful. Terrible. but that's the most I'd go to sympathize with her lol. the rest of it? flipping out on your entire family? itd have been tolerable if her younger sibling wasn't there, like that was so uncalled for. you're having problems with your boyfriend and you take it out on your whole family? girl step back and rethink your actions. goddamn. I rlly don't like sera lol </3 I think she really needs to look at her own position here and that complaining and whining and demanding as someeone in a lesser economic position wouldn't do anything for her and would just make her own life worse.

also ai you rlly meant it when y said that 'there's nowjere else to go but up' doesn't exist in ur dictionary. now miss girl yn has a heart condition? wow. amazing. beautiful. i love sn u r doing so well 💔

Anonymous said

ngl i do feel bad for sera a little bcs i can see why she's bitter abt life and all but it doesnt mean she has the right to blame everyone for her misfortune. she cant just call our baddie y/n selfish when she got mad at her mother for buying shit meat (ik she had a frustrating day but that part was hilarious to read )😭😭 i feel like she only likes the idea of g*jo and the attention he gives her + that money 🤪 she doesnt like the emotional baggage he comes with (which ik that some ppl arent emotionally capable of dealing with other ppl's feelings and thats understandable but she didnt have to be rude) i felt bad for his furby ass when she told him to "just move on" from his childhood trauma. i was neutral abt sera at first bcs she really didnt do anything wrong but then she started to open her mouth and only shit came out of it. i dont necessarily resent her(what a lie) or mr.furby (another lie) but i am intrigued to see them fall off their rusty ass tricycle.

i love the way you write y/n so so much bcs she's just so realistic and actually feels like a real person and not just some character that was designed to please the audience. like i understand her choices bcs of the way u write her character.

anyway, i am obsessed with this series and i love you so much ai !! please take care of yourself and im so sorry to hear that someone plagiarised your work (that fucking sucks) also, i love your anons bcs they're all either so funny or smart 😭 i normally dont send asks bcs im shy both irl and on the internet but i just want to let uk that i really appreciate your work and especially you !! sending u lots of love and i hope u have a great week !!

@rchslxtt said

Another great chapter, thank you ai!❣️

I used to sympathize with Sera since I've been in her place before. Loving someone first, having them first, only for them to another woman as their end game. But now, it's a whole different story. After reading Sera’s point of view, I don't think she truly loves Gojo. Maybe she does, but only the stability she knows for sure he will give her once she married him. Like having endless amounts of money in her bank account, having not to worry over what kind of food she can eat or not worrying whether she has money to buy for it. I think Sera thinks—being born into a wealthy family will solve all your problems. She's wrong. Definitely wrong. Sera doesn't realize how lucky she is to still have both her parents even if they're “failures” as Sera portrayed them as. Having both of your parents is a luxury. Something you shouldn't take for granted. As someone who grew up rich, not wealthy, money is not the answer to everything. I'd rather not have money if I could have both of my parents back.

Back to what I said about why I used to sympathize with Sera, here's an advice. Even if you had them first doesn't necessarily mean they will love to the end. People change as well as their feeling towards you. They might love you now, but you never know in the future. It's better to move on than to keep hurting yourself burying yourself in delusions that you will still have them towards the end.

Sera, if you want stability, find a new rich man who can satisfy your needs. But make sure his family is not going to set him up in an arranged marriage.

Anonymous said

Like. I didnt even finish reading the chapter but this Sera bitch is so toxic. It's so clear how she only fell for the poised and perfect image of gojou who could give her the perfect materialistic life she desires. She doesn't care about him. It made me so pissed to see her disregard gojou the minute he started to talk about his mother, like it wasn't even worth her time!! She pressures him into giving favorable answers, like how she expected him to apologize (for what, like, bitch???) and was oh so hurt when he didnt. She blames y/n for so much, like being rich means being born without troubles. So you have a terrible boss and a horrible home life. Shouldn't you be more humble and understanding then??? Shouldn't that have taught you some dignity?? Some empathy??? I also assumed she would've been more sympathetic to gojou seeing as her ma Is a sweet lady( from what i read) under the thumb of her father ( The father probably pressured the ma into giving up the money for alcohol. Like how gojou's parents had a rocky power imbalance or something.) I just wanna smack fire into this lady since I doubt you can smack some sense into her. And, speaking as someone who grew up dirt poor and is still poor, what is she going on about??? Fish is very good and I bet loads better than what she had to make do before. She's complaining about food??? She wants WAGYU BEEF???? Do you know how EXPENSIVE that is?!?!? I would be glad to get a bowl of rice, thank you very much. Good god. I'll probably send in something later since your words evoke so much from me, that I fear I might have a heart condition too. Keep doing what your doing love, your killing us but it hurts too good to stop.

Anonymous said

this chapter made me tear up. wow.

when i read the part about y/n being diagnosed with a heart condition, it made my eyes go wide and i was literally staring at my screen like (° °").

moving on to sera, i feel like she's going in the wrong direction when thinking about y/n, saying that she didn't have to suffer and how she was born with a silver spoon in her mouth, and what sucks about that is how she doesn't know that y/n is not living it well. but then again, she hasn't suffered as much as sera. i was starting to feel remorse for her, but when she called her mom useless after she was trying to cook a meal for her family, i thought about my mom and how she worked extremely hard for my siblings and i to live a good life, and how she actually continues on to work for us, i became so mad. and she even had the audacity to say something along the lines of "i should've been born into a rich family". like okay sera, i understand you don't like your current living condition, but you didn't need to say that.

now talking about gojo, kudos for him for telling sera to take plan b and for also saying that she's not valuable enough to ruin his life. even though i still dislike gojo with a passion, i was rooting for him in that scene. and also, thank you to gojo telling miwa (i love that girl so much wow) to order a boquet of roses for us, but i don't think mr. satoru understands that buying us gifts isn't go to make us want to come back to him, but what absolutely made my heart drop was when we started crying in the bed. jesus christ. i guess he actually is starting to feel something for us.

i like the advice toji was giving out to us, i could never think of anything like that.

anyways, thank you for the chapter. it wasn't as emotional for me as the last one (which i thank you for). you never miss when writing, and that shows that you have an extremely creative mind. kudos to you for that. this chapter was written so nicely. have a good day! <3

Anonymous said

YES I AM EARLY!! FUCK YESS!!!! AI-SAMA!! ILY ILY ILY ILY!!😭😭 I LOVE CHAPTER 9 IT HEALED ME A BIT🥺🥺 ahhhhjm so worried about BBYGIRL YN!!

Also omg Miwa lovelyy!! So glad to see you here!!!! Omg omg why am i a excited about Miwa!! I can imagine her, despite admiring Hoejo Slutoru as an outstanding business tycoon, Miwa aint the type to be flirty with him.. i can imagine Miwa as the first secretary who isn't problematic! Maybe Miwa can even help Hoejo to woo the Queen (but pls, MRS ZENIN SUPREMACY)

Also when Hoejo said *beep* *beep* *beep* and that particular scene of *beep* the ring *beep* *beep*, me be like y'all hear sumn?🤨🤨🤨🧐🧐🧐🤔🤔🤔 Probably just the wind!!🤗🤗🤗🤗

Sincerely yours,

Anon 😻

Anon 😻 cant stop SIMPING over the most important part of the chapter: MRS ZENIN😻😻😻😻😻😻

Anonymous said

NAURRRR JUST WHEN I THOUGHT ITS NOT GONNA HURT ANYMORE BUT YOU DECIDED TO ADD SOME MORE SPICES 😭😭😭😭😭

but this is the great opportunity for y/n to stand up for herself, focus on her happiness and career, prove to the stupid bitch that y/n is not the so-called spoiled brat. her rising up as a famous fashion designer would be a major slap on sera. i like how y/n just decided to focus on herself like "oya oya bitch? you thought I'm gonna stay quiet like a princess do you?" y/n deserves all her happiness that she's trying to pursuit from now on, AS SHE SHOULD!!!!

I don't wanna talk about her illness 😀 knowing about it was also a slap on my face. Death is her trauma. But y/n is facing death like a brave warrior, I'm so proud of her.

Gojo, huh? He's going to be really devastated knowing about her heart condition, knowing that he's the major sources of her pain would make him suffer even more now that he finally realized that sera couldn't care less about his trauma but his ideal self that she created.

Anyway, good job author-nim for making me cry again 😘

Anonymous said

First of all, this is my first...ask, like really. My first ask.

Ch9 is sooooo good, I had to read it multiple times to heal my aching heart that Ch8 caused. Seeing Gojo trail after our Y/n, who's finally thinking about herself (yeees, I love you.), is so satisfying, how the tables have turned GOHOE SATORU. REPENT FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!

I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU BECOME AN ASSHOLE TO OUR GIRL AGAIN BECAUSE OF *retch* Sera- *reeeetch*, I WILL FUCKING HOLLOW PURPLE YOUR ASS!!!

Speaking of Sera, the fuck you doing? Huh? Blaming Y/n for something she didn't do? This must be her way of coping, blaming others and not herself. LIFE IS NOT FAIR FOR EVERYBODY YOU BEEECH. Instead of blaming others, what she should've done is move her family away from her gambler of a father and herself away from Gojo because these two aren't good for her. Gojo's indecisiveness will only irritate her further and make her do something bad (like bad bad, like veeery bad) while her father is the main cause of their money situation. Also, why the fuck do you think was it a good idea to move into a house? When you're drowning in debt? Shouldn't you pay your debt first? Be grateful that you have a caring mother and siblings. Your situation could've been way worse.

IF YOU HAVE A SMART MOUTH, DOESNT THAT MEAN THAT YOU HAVE A SMART BRAIN? WHY DON'T YOU STAY AWAY FROM YOUR FATHER, TALK SENSE IN YOUR MOTHER, AND SAVE UP MONEY?? PAWN OFF THAT FREAKING NECKLACE.

Also, a question for the great angst writer, Saintobio:D

Will we see a face off between our badass Y/n and bitchass S*ra? I would love to see/read Y/n talking so politely to Sera but her words are sharp and condescending. I want Sera to feel what she made Y/n felt during their talk in Bora Bora (I still have PTSD from the previous chapter.)

You're so talented, Author, ahhhhh your writing is just *chef's kiss everywhere*✨ P E R F E T T O ✨

@jojoangelley said

Ai this chapter is so amazing as always!! I haven't so emotionally invested in anything so far as much as Sincerely Not! You are so talented 🥺🥺💕💕

It's ironic how Gojou is the one seeking for y/n attention this morning and is so desperate for it. I'm really satisfied when Getou really said it straight to Gojou's face and told him about how y/n went out looking for his ring. Gojou's suffer arc starting now!!

Meanwhile, it's so worrisome that y/n has developed sickness :( I believe she would be fine, y/n is a good person life will treat her well eventually. And she started taking action for her passion. With the help of Toji, y/n would easily succeed + her talent and trusted team!

I personally relate a lot with y/n this is why I can truly apply myself to the story and feel everything vividly 🥰

Thank you so much Ai for bringing a masterpiece to us and thanks to Sincerely Not! you have connected us together as a whole to share our emotions, thoughts and love for this work. We really came to your place talking like we have known each other for years 🤣🤣

I hope you are taking care of yourself and stay safe :) Always take your time and rest as much as you can! ❤❤❤

Anonymous said

this chapter made me hate sera more than i already do. she stay calling mc selfish, but just from the scene with her pov, she's the selfish one. she's constantly blaming mc for gojo's actions, denying the fact that, despite being rich, mc is still a human being and can have problems and go through hardship like anybody else. she won't let gojo talk about his problems and won't make any effort to console him at all, telling him to just "move on." please tell me sera will be forced to realize that just because she's poor doesn't mean she's the only one with real problems in the future 😭 i'm glad gojo didn't take back his words.

speaking of gojo, i don't know how to feel about him anymore. like he seems to want to be better and is remorseful, but i just can't forget how he used to be. i mean, he literally triggered the heart condition we have. well not triggered, but he worsened it, and now if we don't pull away, we could die. he's literally killing us. and if he finds out, i hope he feels the full weight of that.

i can't wait for more interactions with toji! i feel like it's going to drive gojo insane if he sees reader be happy when with toji but cold with him (he'll finally get a taste of his own medicine 😈).

anyway, thank you for another great chapter 😘!! (if you take anon requests i think i should just ask to be 😘 anon now lmao)

Anonymous said

(I wanted to send it after ch 8 but I couldn't 😭 Excuse my English, I'm not good I'm writing with my trash grammar knowledge)

I LOVED CHAPTER 8 YOUR WRITING WAS AMAZING I also felt sad but thats the point anyways

What Sera said when they were alone hurt my feelings lol. Idk I always think twice while I'm talking with anyone about something important and thinking what I'm saying might hurt their feelings. I get yea she's angry but you don't have to be a bitch about it. (And she really acted like a spoiled brat when telling gojo tell her I'm the most prettiest and you only love me. I only saw a little girl idk lol.) I would talk more about Sera but I think people already said a lot of things. it's just that what she said and her actions wasn't good. I don't care what can happen but a person always should be calm, respectful towards the person in front of them and shouldn't let the anger get them. even if you don't like the person. Also she lacks emphaty. She only thinks her struggles as a person. Her struggles are money related and I guess family, she's financially trying to keep her family up. Her struggles are valid I'm sure it's hard to keep up. She's really strong and she's hardworking. I guess only problem when she sees someone that doesnt have her struggles she immediately thinks they have the best but in fact all of us have struggles in life. Whether it be less complicated than yours or not, we have to pass through them and learn. I'm hoping that she can apologize to y/n for her childish behavior??

Okay, now gojo. I'm thinking this man is really stupid or he acts this way. He's so insensitive and selfish. I'm sorry for him what he had been through that might explain some of his behavior but not excuse it. So don't be an asshole. What is he thinking? Like they're (both him and Sera) blind to see what's in front of them and treating y/n poorly. He really shouldn't go to trip with his mistress and wife because it's already obvious that it's not gonna end well. Then he complains about his wife is being cold to him. Mf what do you expect? Show some respect to your wife.

My little y/n :((( she's trying her best and still nobody sees it. I'm wishing her the best. When they argued what she said to gojo was harsh. I often don't talk about my struggles or trauma because after that people might use it to insult me. I know there's nothing to be ashamed of that but that happened and I felt like shit. It also caused me to not to open up to people. I'm thinking what gojo felt? Even tho she immediately apologized and it was probably because of her anger it doesn't change the fact that can damage gojo and he can be more secretive to only person comforts him :( He should go to therapy. Again, I'm wishing the best to all and I hope she divorces him. Also I'm thinking what gojo will do because if Sera gets pregnant he should start to forget y/n. If Sera gets pregnant and theyre still together their marriage would be the worst. Andd, Gojos friends were nice. They tried to comfort y/n and making situation less awkward. I really felt like they care about y/n so that make me happy. They were nice to her whole time.

Okay okay lastly I really love your writing. Thank you for sharing. Buttt please rest. You're doing so much and I really appreciate it, love it but please rest. Don't rush, it's okay if you didn't reply all asks or continued ch. Youre more important so don't push yourself. Hope you're taking care of yourself or you will be punished with love and hugs. (virtual ones) Never forget to rest, eat your meals and stay hydrated!!!

Anonymous said

(sending this before I read chapter 9) mmm everytime I think about SN, thr words "tragic fate" pops up in my mind so i'm just gonna ramble.

Sera gets pregnant and both her and Gojo decide to keep the baby.

At this point, Reader is so done with their bullshit and gets a divorce, then Gojo ends up living with Sera to take care of her. He realizes during her pregnancy that they're just not right for each other and they have never loved each other - despite this, he will stay to take care of the child and Sera, and promise to still try and make their relationship work. Along with Gojo, Sera also realizes that when Gojo loses everything - his wealth, inheritance, power, standing in the hierchary. She's like - "damn I only liked the fantasy of being with a rich future CEO....Now that he has nothing but trauma and depression, I don't want him anymore!!"

Then after 9 months, Sera dies from childbirth, baby gojo dies right after labour and gojo literally sees both of their deaths. Gojo is left a man who got disowned by his father for his divorce + getting his mistress pregnant + not getting the merger (just being an overall failure.)

He regrets everything he did to Reader and wishes he hadn't said such nasty things to her when they were still married. He has a pillow he keeps next to him to make his bed feel less empty, he writes post-it notes for himself pretending that Reader wrote them, and he still uses that shampoo she used.

He reminisces on their past together and cries. "How did we end up this way? Where did it first go wrong?""

Then while he's wallowing in misery, Reader is enjoying the time of her life as a hot rich designer with a handsome husband (Toji) and cute step-son. Oh & she's pregnant.

She runs into Gojo 2 years after chapter 8, with her baby son in arms. They have small friendly chit-chat, talking about how they've been doing, and she tells him that there are no hard feelings anymore, she's happy, while Gojo is left silent at what she said as he thinks about his own fate ((because what if he had treated her better before?))

Soo he weeps in the end thinking about how Reader's baby son resembles her, like "what if that were our baby 😢" UM boohooo satoru piss off 🐈🐈🐈

Anonymous said

CH.9 OMG!!! Another great chapter, and the angst was really bearable this time so score!

OMG MC with her heart condition. Poor bby just can’t take a break and I’m kinda sad that a really serious illness is what took her the courage to see her worth and distance herself from hoejo. But I’m loving it the role reversal. And her trauma with her mom dying right infront of her, I can’t even begging to explain how much that hurts and the burden of carrying that type of feeling with you for a decade gosh! But yess bitch walk your shit queen, make your boutique a dream come true!

IM SO EXCITED FOR THIS ZENIN FAMILY BONDING !!!! Future Mrs. ZENIN IN THE HOUSE‼️‼️

Sera. SERA. Idk where to begin honestly, she’s a manipulative bitch, she’s over here talking about MC knowing her place like BITCH know YOURS. YOUR ARE THE MISSTRESS GET IT THROUGHT YOUR STINGY ASS HEAD.

Like honestly I don’t understand why she calls MC entitled and all when she’s over here not even appreciating what she has lolz. Like bitch we get your poor, half of the worlds population is poor but be thankful for what you have, like atleast your can have dinner, have a room over your head PEOPLE DONT HAVE THAT.

This is a theory but what is she didn’t take plan b but has a missacrage because of the stress and how she’s been skipping meals but tell hoejo she’s having his demon spawn, but when hoejo gets disowned by his family and loses his title or spot in the company she’s like SIKE BITCH YOU THOT

Idk if she was saying this in like a spoiled bitchy way but the MEAT. This girl pissed over MEAT😀. If you want meet go ask for Hoejos meat…. Oh way he might not even want you anymore but he realizes his feeling for MC.

Miss gurl out here joking about not taking the plan B like…. that ain’t gonna help you sooner or later, if you can’t apreciate the small things in like how tf you gonna take care of a whole ass child

A CHILD YOUR MAN SAID HE DONT WANT

(really clown girl shit right here)

Hoejo babe I love you for the realization but it’s over. PERIODT.

Feel the pain and agony and my you Rest In Peace when MC leaves your ass to take over the fashion industry with the Zenins and leave your ass in the dust with that dusty ass SERA🐱 and your demon child😚

Anonymous said

wow i have no words for this chapter… it truly hurt but it didn’t hurt like chapter 8. this tike of hurt was something else and i cant believe im saying this but im starting to soften up to satoru. UGHH im so weak bye😭😭😭 i cant believe i feel kinda bad for him already when this is just the start of his redemption arc. also… THE HAPPINESS IN MY HEART WHEN HE TOLD SERA SHE WASNT VALUABLE. i wanted him to shake her off and end things with her right there but instead he let himself get manipulated by sera into feeling bad about his trauma. thats fucking crazy. talking about sera, she’s such a (pardon my language) fucking bitch. the way she was coming at her parents saying that they are useless bc they are poor… wtf??? she isnt humble at all. she is such a bad person. i feel so bad for her family having to depend on a daughter like that. i have a question tho, does her father abuse them?? bc even tho he is a drunk he doesn’t seem to be the type that gets physical?? or well he didn’t give those vibes. my hate for sera is even bigger rn and she wonders why people don’t like her💀💀 im starting to think it has nothing to do with her status as she swears but bc she has a bitchy ass personality. she’s so annoying. i hate her. i hate. her.

@yourstarvic said

OKAY SO! Gojo is a HYPOCRITE!!! Like bro you got what you wanted and now you’re not liking it??? Be careful what you wish for.

AND SERA PARENTS SEEM OKAY!!! Like yeah the dad had a gambling problem and a drinking problem but like he loves his kids!!! And the mom is so sweet! And sera is out here being ungrateful!!!! They can’t do anything about their financial situation so at least be grateful of what you have!!!!

And also… I don’t think she took the plan B… seems kinda sus how she got defensive (but I kinda get it? Like I would be hurt too if the man I “love” wouldn’t want a baby with me) and they way she was looking at herself in the mirror snd imagine it as if she was expecting it??? Or!!! Could be lying about the pregnancy test??? Idk???? It just seems fishy to me and you do things with a reason and with you saying how Gojo nutted in her is a BIG THING!!!!! I’m so excited to know what you are going to do!!!

AND YES YN!!!! PUT YOURSELF FIRST!!!! WE LOVE TO SEE IT!!!! Make that man SUFFER!!!!

Anonymous said

OH BOY OH BOY WHERE SHOULD I STARTTTT....

franticay running around while reading Chapter 9- oKay so uH- first things first, Sera, fuck u, if u thinking ur life is pure suffering because of ur "useless parents" go fuck yourself, literally your mother is doing her best right now for the family. I understand ur working and all but like why the fuck are you like this smfh.

IT'S JUST AN EMOTIONAL ROLLERCOASTER RN WITH Y/N LIKE, SHE DOESN'T DESERVE HER ILLNESS, REALLY SHE DOESN'T 😭 its literally so fucking heartbreaking how she has her illness when she's already suffering emotionally and mentally like- Ai 😭 p l e a s e our baby girl doesn't deserve death 😭😭😭😭😭

Gojo get ur shit up I don't give a fuck what u do, get ur fucking shit up like I swear to god regretting impregnating Sera? Hope you fuckin regret it for the rest of your life man! Like! I can't even t o l e r a t e you anymore after Chapter 8 🙄 Literally raging and wanting as a revenge to pull a pregnant card on Sera well FINE DO IT. I bet after yall get married Sera just gonna do worser things, just seeing how she treat her parents and even so her younger siblings with such coldness, i think something gonna go wrong here 👌

also i have a theory, one day like in a social event for only major like maaajor companies like Toji, Gojo and Y/N's families, what if Toji and Gojo clash head to head and that causes Y/N stress as she collapses like in Bora Bora how she passed out from crying and they send her to the hospital find out her heart condition just getting worse and worse, please that will be the emotional wrecker for Gojo because the doc prob gon come out of that door and say "Mrs Gojo has a heart disease and she is under very much stress right now." and it will shatter like everyone's hearts there(dont know bout toji tho...)

Honestly i dont know I have no hope for the marriage rn I just want Y/N to be treated better, have a better life and give herself the feeling of euphoria once more so that she can live her life to the fullest without her worrying abt her illness so that she can go on to the afterlife with happy memories

Anonymous said

TW:SUICIDE

Hey Ai! Omg is it okay if i call u that? I'm sorry i just see other anons calling u that but if it's not okay then I'm really really really really sorry 😭 anywayss the reason I sent this ask is cuz I really just want to thank you, I've been very depressed and is very suicidal from the passed months because of a very depressing event that occurred and everyday whenever I'd wake up I'll always be so mad and annoyed cuz "why the fuck did i even wake up?" "Why didn't I just die in sleep?", But since I stumbled upon sn I literally gradually got a lil better. I always loved reading and writing fics especially angst ones even before that specific event occurred and ever since it happened I lost hope and thought that nothing will ever make me happy again or something like that. But since sn, i was able to read your other works and they are just *chef's kiss* AMAZING😭😭😭😭😭, for the past 3 weeks since I stumbled upon your works I didn't wake up that depressed anymore and I didn't sleep praying death cuz because of your writing I had a reason to live, yeah yeah maybe some will say what a very shallow person, but I just want you to know that you writing helped me allot, your writing saved me and it's one of the reasons I'm still holding on. Waking up every morning excited about reading your responses to the anons and especially waiting until Friday for the update!!, I miss this, i miss being able to wake up excited, and I owe that allot to you. So I hope you know how much of an amazing great writer you are, that once in your lifetime you saved someone because of it. Thank you Ai so much from the bottom of my heart!

Anyways i had this lil shower thought pop in my head yesterday 😂 (that's how often I think of sn😭) likee if the sn universe were to be in the jjk canonverse, that means Gojo, as one of the strongest families in business in sn, will still be the Strongest in jjk universe in terms of strength and there are the Zenins too running down the biggest businesses along with Y/N's family in sn, so that means Y/N's family might be a very strong clan too in jjk along with the Zenin, Kamos and Gojos. And since sn!Y/N aside from having a very huge empire like business doesn't like meddling into it then jjk!Y/N might be the same in terms of being a jujutsu sorcerer, wherein she is very strong and her cursed energy and power is just as powerful as Satoru's if she chose on taking the path of being a jujutsu sorcerer(the reason why Gojo's dad wants him married to her to have very powerful baby and possibly to merge clans), and there's sera who's literally just a mere human and all that's why his dad is strictly against it. Lmao that's all those thoughts thoughhh I'm sorry if it's unlike the other anons😭 anyways i hope you're well and you're keeping yourself healthy! Don't overwork yourself we all love you so much! Such a pretty and talented gurl like you must be protected at all cost>:) ohh and if you're still accepting emoji anons then can i be 🐲 anon? Thank you againnn i hope you have a very amazing blessed day!

i love u 🐲 anon !! pls stay strong. i’m glad that my writing helped u cope somehow 😢😢

Anonymous said

OKAY IM JUST.

Why does Sera think just because she's the one Gojo "loves", that she's not a mistress? GIRL pull your head out of your ass and think critically??? Or maybe she doesn't think critically she just thinks about ruining things for other people because she "wasn't born rich and had to struggle." There's no excusing what Gojo has done but I just want him to open his eyes and see what Sera's true motives are. At first I was like, okay Sera I see you, I get it. And then when it was revealed she had gotten money from Gojo's dad who supposedly hates her, I was like "yeah okay fuck you." I'm rooting for Y/N but I'm also rooting for Gojo finally seeing that his perception of love is skewed, and he needs someone like Y/N in his life, I'm not excusing all of his actions up to now but I really do want him to see how he's hurting other people the same way he's been hurt, and that he really needs to re-evaluate his choices up to this point. He needs to acknowledge that he and Sera are in the wrong and Y/N has not done anything out of line. And then he better get on his knees and beg for Y/N's forgiveness because he's probably never going to get someone as good as her to put up with his shit. SORRY THIS IS SO LONG I HAVE A LOT OF FEELINGS ABOUT SN

hiyaaaa everyone i hope u guys don’t mind that i compiled everything and couldn’t respond individually but these asks deserved to be published so :) thanks so much for all the messages that u guys send, i swear i read all of them and i appreciate every single one of them <33

[itsclydebitches]

so ironwood was confirmed to be dead by Miles in a $42 cameo session, where the person who bought it had asked for "comforting words to soothe our anguished souls" bc she was an ironwood fan and wanted a pick-me-up after that devastating finale. miles' response was to essentially mock his fans (it really sounded like that, especially since he ended with "thank you jimmy, may you rest in pieces, crushed beneath the weight of the kingdom you tried so hard to hold up above your head."

apparently the VA, jason rose, confirmed it in DMs w the same fan who sent in the cameo ask. so like, quite apart from how rude and disrespectful it was of miles to make a mockery of james in a cameo where he'd been specifically asked for comforting words regarding the character, ngl but i think that if you have to confirm a MAJOR CHARACTER is dead outside of canon bc you failed to actually show it on screen.....you've failed as a writer. and also that kind of thing shouldn't be confirmed in an expensive and exclusive interview lmao like how hard would it have been to just talk about good aspects to james' character instead of calling him a dickbag and saying 'don't do a genocide, guys!!'

it reeks of unprofessionalism and also it just makes everything surrounding ironwood's character arc even worse since apparently 'his fate was sealed' from the moment he was introduced to the show.

Me, who received the first Moderna shot yesterday (🎉 🎉 🎉 ): Ugh I feel too crappy to answer asks today

Me, upon hearing this news: You know, I have suddenly found an untapped source of energy

Okay, all joking aside, I watched the vid and it’s definitely a lot. I don’t have any information about the request itself except for what Miles mentions in the recording, so I can’t speak to what the fan may have been looking for outside of that, but some highlights include: 

“This is for the filth in my degenerate discord server” - Yeah, that’s how a lot of us (fans) talk about ourselves. It sounds like someone who really enjoys Ironwood and makes joking, self-deprecating comments about their love of a character. That’s familiar to me and speaks to the expectation that they hoped for something other than what they got. At least, if I’d sent in a request like that I wouldn’t be happy with the vid, but that’s obviously my own perspective and not this fan’s. I’d be very curious to know their own thoughts though... 

“Sometimes a character we like doesn’t make it, does something we don’t agree with... or both!” - That is indeed how characters work! The real question is whether their death/actions make sense within the story, which is not addressed here. Many fans who enjoyed Ironwood don’t have a problem with him dying or turning into a villain  — I’ve been honest about my acceptance of either/both, regardless of personal preference, provided it was written well  — and that was always the issue. Not what happened to Ironwood, but how it happened. 

“James Ironwood’s fate was sealed the moment his character was conceived many years ago.” - Personally, I don’t believe this. RT makes a lot of grand, sweeping statements about what’s been planned “for years” or “since the beginning” and too often we’re faced with writing that directly contradicts that. Though it’s unlikely we’ll ever know the truth, neither option paints the writing team in a good light. Either they’re straight up lying about what’s been planned (or twisting tossed out possibilities into assurances after the fact. For example, someone once suggested Ironwood might become a villain somehow at some point and now that’s presented as, ‘We’ve deliberately been working towards this specific ending for years’), or they’re being truthful and just... can’t write what they want to write. It doesn’t sound good when a writer says, ‘I’ve planned this the whole time’ and a good chunk of the fandom responds, ‘Then why couldn’t we see that planning this whole time?’ 

“When James was introduced we intentionally made him look like kind of a big dickbag, but then we realized that dickbag had a heart and was also half metal, and that was pretty cool!” - I don’t even know what to make of this. I’ve deconstructed his introduction before, but to summarize here, he’s presented as no more of a “dickbag” than Ozpin who may not be doing enough to protect the people, Winter who allowed herself to get taunted into a fight on campus, or Qrow who deliberately started that fight while drunk. Glynda is the only one who is arguably innocent here. The implication seems to be that obviously Ironwood became a villain because “we intentionally made him look like kind of a big dickbag” but then... does that mean Qrow will become a villain too someday?? 

The comments about them realizing he had a heart and was half metal just speak to that lack of planning. No, you obviously didn’t plan this downfall from the start if you “realized” something as basic as him caring for others partway through writing him and then allowed that care to drive his character for so long that the decent into villainy read as OOC, rather than inevitable. You obviously weren’t writing him with a backstory that influenced his character  — of which his semblance is a major part  — if you “realized” he was half-metal... whenever that happened. The fact that we never saw that backstory, or the semblance on screen, or returned to his half-metal nature outside of a ‘That’s coding for evilness’ theme again speaks to the fact that either a) none of this was actually planned or b) the execution is seriously lacking here. 

“Let us all take a moment to thank General James Ironwood for his service to the Kingdom of Atlas, but... at the end of the day, don’t do a genocide [laughs]” - I’m having trouble articulating why I dislike this. I’m really too tired to be unpacking this right now (lol), but it has something to do with  — as you say, anon  — that mocking tone. Something else to do with the surge of purity culture in recent years. The tone feels like it’s tied up in an unsaid, ‘You like the character who tried to commit genocide?’ accusation when, you know, he’s a fictional character. People can like characters who do bad things. More significantly, he’s a fictional character Miles wrote. There’s something particularly distasteful about writers who feel like they’re laughing at fans for liking something when they created the thing with the intent that we would like it. And many did. So they gave attention, time, money, passion, etc. to the work and then when that part of the work finished, the creator appears to make light of that investment? Idk, I’m speaking about more than just this one line  — the tone of the vid as a whole, really — but it feels much less like “You enjoy Ironwood! 😄” and more “You enjoy Ironwood...  😬” Like yeah, fans enjoyed the character that you wanted them to enjoy who you wrote to have a heart and then suddenly commit genocide instead. There’s definitely nothing complicated in all that. 

“Thank you, Jimmy. May you rest in pieces crushed beneath the weight of the kingdom you tried so hard to hold above your head. Amen.” - All of the above x2 with the added issue that this was never shown on screen. Miles presents Ironwood’s arc like this seven year long plan when in fact they couldn’t even manage the basic move of telling the audience what happened to the character in his final hour. The fact that a fan had to pay to find out whether Ironwood is dead is not a gold star for the writing. 

Every time the RWBY crew speaks about the story in supplementary material the canon itself gets worse. Hyping Clover/Qrow on social media pushes the canon closer to queerbaiting. We’re way closer to that with them hyping Blake/Yang. Long ago comments about Ozpin’s cane suddenly make Volume 8 a retcon. A Q&A about Ironwood’s semblance makes his arc a thousand times more confusing about how we’re supposed to read his character  — to name just a few. Now this. When a friend first told me this info had dropped I thought, “Thank god. He’s not coming back then. I don’t want them writing Ironwood’s character anymore,” but really... can we believe anything the crew says? “Crushed beneath the weight of his kingdom” doesn’t mean Ironwood won’t show up in Volume 9 if it’s a spirit world type adventure. It doesn’t mean he won’t show up three years from now with even more metal in his body and a, “We said he was crushed, not that he was dead ;)” explanation. Hell, it doesn’t even mean he won’t show up with no explanation at all because, as established, what’s said in supplementary works and what happens on screen are two entirely separate things. Iffy as the vid may come across to those who did like Ironwood, I was initially happy that it at least gave us some closure... but now I’m not even sure about that.