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"Fealty," a follow-up to this illustration: 👀

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found out my coworker who believes very strongly in astrology and always plans his day around his daily horoscopes just got fired for swiping probably about a hundred bucks in cash from his boss like five feet away from a security camera pointed right at him. bestie the things that affect your daily life are much much closer to you than alpha centauri. like that security camera, and your boss

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Beautiful ominous formations the other evening

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this is perhaps evil but I can boost my mood in almost any situation by playing a game called "what was my mom doing at this age?" like rn for instance I'm sleepy because I had a 12 hour work day + stayed up late, and my stomach hurts a little from the enormous chimichanga I smashed for dinner, and my head hurts a little bit from the fat margaritas I had with the chimichanga. and it's like hmm, okay, not optimal, but when my mom was this age she had a 2.5 year old to deal with. can you fucking imagine. can't stay in bed decadently bemoaning your overindulgences because there's a goblin in the next room that's utterly dependent on you for food and hygiene and social needs and if you drop the ball you've fucked up a perfectly good person. and I'm pretty normal so shout out to her for keeping it together but god that couldn't be me, I like fucking around way too much.

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i like working at plant store. sometimes you ring up someone and there's a slug on their plant and so you're like "Oh haha you've got a friend there let me get that for you" and you put the slug on your hand for safekeeping but then its really busy and you dont have time to take the slug outside before the next customer in line so you just have a slug chilling on your hand for 15 minutes. really makes you feel at peace with nature. also it means sometimes i get to say my favorite line which is "would you like this free slug with your purchase"

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Man I’m a graphic designer why the fuck do I have to explore the Tomb

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Sound up

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Folks, backup your Tumblrs, for real this time

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Winter has arrived on Poob.

Start your 7 day free trial of Poob today, and watch smash hit Martin Scorcese's Goncharov.

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"if tumblr dies you can find me on bluesky" "if tumblr dies you can find me on Instagram" if tumblr dies you cannot find me. It's over. I'm free.

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COME ON TIME PULL IT TOGETHER

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Me while writing: oh hell yes this is such a good sentence I'm the master of poetic imagery

The writing when I go back to edit:

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My friends teenage pitbutt pitbulled directly into the couch at 90mph