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pyramid-of-starrs · 2 years ago

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Don't Be a Sweat

Pairing: Gamer Yunho x Gamer Fem Reader

Genre: Smut & Fluff

Warnings: Sub Yunho, dom reader, fem reader and parts but no fem names, cum eating, exhibitionism, fingering, oral sex (fem receiving), unprotected sex (stay safe pls), cursing, if its anything I missed pls let me know.

Word count: 4.8K (one day I'll get past 4k lol)

A/N: First sub Fic, I think I did an okay job but let me know if you like it!

Minors dni

Smut under the cut

The door to your best friend’s room opens and you and her walk into it, you both plop down on her bed tired from a long day of socializing. You both decided to do attend a "group date" that the designated match maker of your friend group set up. 3 hours of karaoke with the lamest guys you think you've ever met it was so dreadful and boring, you would have much rather been home streaming yourself playing overwatch or the new PSN free games of the month.

"I know what you're thinking Y/N." Your best friend turned to you and said,

"And what am I think little Ms. Mind reader."

"You're thinking "God those guys sucked I bet they couldn't even beat me in a 1v1 on Minecraft." or something like that." you both laughed.

"Good effort but you can't 1v1 on Minecraft there is no fighting on it, Minecraft is-"

"Ah- spare me the nerdy details I hear enough gamer bullshit with my brother. Anyway, what the hell was she thinking setting us up with that pack of losers of the year." She laughs and shakes her head.

"Oh god did you hear the one ranting about all women wanting money." you joined her in her laughing.

"If you're gonna ask me my income you're gonna need to cook and clean blah blah blah go live in the fucking 50s then! Oh, and the one that hounded you when you told him that you're a streamer."

"I bet I could beat you at this! I bet you've never heard of this! Like gag me, literally."

You two started laughing louder at your impressions of the men, they truly were just that pathetic, but to you, every man was.

Being a streamer, you run into your fair share of overly misogynistic incels that hate you just because you like games and have a vagina but in reality they would crumble at your feet if they ever saw you. Hot women that play games make men angry for some reason and you wanted nothing more than to break them down . Beating them after they whine about how you're a terrible and only popular because you're pretty, always made you smile. It was kind of a sick enjoyment you got out of beating them but who care, sweats get no sympathy from you.

Speaking of sweats as you and your best friend were enjoying having a laugh you suddenly heard loud knocking on the door. Your best friend rolled her eyes.

"Ugh What!" she knew exactly who it was.

The bedroom door swung open and in walked your best friends twin brother Yunho. Yunho was also a gamer like you, very tall and handsome but you two have never seen eye to eye. Ever since the day you became friends with BF/N Yunho terrorize you. Calling you names, embarrassing you in front of guys, making fun of your hair and outfits and just being an all-around bully. Eventually feelings became mutual, and you only put yourself around him to hang out with your friend but other then that you and Yunho couldn’t even have a conversation with out arguing.

“Can you guys shut the fuck up already? I’m trying to play squads with the guys, and they can barely hear me over you two.”

“Yeah, yeah whatever they will live.” Your best friend said while trying to wave her brother off.

You let out another giggle “You guys can barely shoot straight I’m sure we aren’t the reason you guys are losing, y’all just suck.”

You and BF/N started laughing together again as she slapped your shoulder.

“Ohhh Y/N maybe we should invite Yunhos friends over they are actually kinda hot and a few game like you, you’ll really like the really hot one uhm what’s his name- oh San!”

“Ooouuu, he sounds sexy, maybe we should invite them over.”

“As fucking if, my friends would never date a chick like Y/N.” Yunho rolled his eyes.

“And what the hell kinda chick am I Yunho.” You folded your arms and tilted your head ready to pop off at him.

“The kinda chick who can’t keep a guy even if he was locked in her basement because no one wants her ugly ass.”

“Now I’m ugly? Well, who dyed their hair Blonde just to get a girl that ended up fucking everyone BUT you.”

His ears and face turned red in embarrassment.

“Sis, you told her about that?”

“Yuyu, I had too, I wanted her to feel bad so you guys could talk, and you could finally tell her you like her.”

Boy if his face wasn’t red then it sure was red now, he even tried wiping the embarrassment off.

“What !? As if I would like some girl that spends all her time gaming and talking shit online like a fucking loser. I’d never date someone like her!”

“Good cause it’ll never fucking happen, maybe I should do what BF/N said and fuck your friend just to piss you off!” You stood up at this point, who the hell does he think he is calling you a loser.

“Fuck you Y/N!” He yelled before walking out and slamming the door, thank God Yunho and BF/N moved out and into their shared apartment so their parents didn’t hear the argument.

You plopped back down on the bed.

“God what the fuck is his problem? It’s like he hates my guts for no reason.”

“It’s just like I said Y/N, the boy likes you.” She yawned and stood up to change into her sleeping clothes.

“What? BF/N be serious here.”

She finished getting ready for bed and you got up to change into the shorts and shirt you brought with you to spend the night.

“I am being serious; he’s always liked you that’s why he’s mean to you.”

She got up and turned off the lights and got under the covers, you did too, you two faced each other.

“If you don’t believe me, ask him yourself tomorrow, good night, Y/N.”

“…night.”

You two eventually drifted off to sleep but your mind was still racing, did Yunho really like you? Isn’t that “boy is mean to the girl he likes” trope only in moves and poorly written fan fics? (Girl I’m trying my best)

Around 2am you were woken up by Yunho yelling, he was most likely playing the game with his friend, you could hear him faintly saying “Bro get him” and “Fuck” in the next room. You were going to go back to sleep but decided to see if what your friend said was true because it was slowly eating you up. You got up and walked to the room next door and knocked on his door. You could hear him telling his friends he would be back and then he opened the door. He had on random graphic tee and some grey sweatpants; fuck why does it have to be grey sweatpants. His room was nice, the lights were out but the LED strips around his bed still lit up the room.

“Oh, its you, what do you want?”

“Um, well can I talk to you for a second?”

“I mean I guess…” he walked back over to the gaming chair that was stationed in front of his TV and sat back down.

You decided to sit on his bed on the edge facing the TV and there was a brief awkward silence before he broke it.

“You came to my room just to sit here and stare?”

“No…um…”

“Spit it out dude God, what’s your problem why can’t you be normal?”

Even with you trying to talk to him he just pisses you off.

“I heard you got the new street fighter game, lets play it.”

“What ?”

“Yea let play, loser has to do whatever the winner says.”

“What the fuck is wrong with you, no I’m going back to playing with my friends.” He picked up his controller and put his headset back on. You just couldn’t understand why Yunho was so mean to you, what you ever did or why he just woke up and chose to treat you this badly. If what your friend said was true then you needed to find out, tonight! While Yunho continued to play with his friends you took matters into your own hands and snatched his headset and controller.

“What are you-“

“Sorry, Yunho is busy he’ll get back on later.” You said directly into the mic then quit his game mid match.

“Y/N What the fuck is your deal?”

“Shut up.”

He sat quietly while you started up the street fighter game, you tossed him back his controller and grabbed the unoccupied one and turned it on.

“Now like I said, loser has to do what ever the winner says got it?”

“…fine”

“Good.”

You two selected your characters and the match started, 3 rounds, unlimited time. You and Yunho played while making random grunting sounds and shouting one worded taunt but even he couldn’t match up to your acute game skill. The match ended with you as the winner, and you raised your hands in victory.

“That was such BS.”

“Don’t be a sore loser YuYu.”

“Don’t call me that! I’m not a kid any more Y/N.”

“Whatever, since I won you have to do whatever I say now.”

“What do you want me to do.”

“Hmm…for now you have to sit next to me on the bed.” You said in a slightly shaky voice.

He arched his eyebrow but chose not to question it getting up from his gaming chair and sitting next to you on the edge of the bed. Your heart started to beat a bit faster, Yunho has never made you feel this way before but with the thought that he may like you in mind it made you feel a bit shy.

“Earth to Y/N, come on let’s go again.”

“Y-yeah okay let’s play.”

Why was this making you so shy, you aren’t that kind of person especially for Yunho, so why is the thought of him liking you driving you crazy. You had zoned out thinking and didn’t realize you were losing, by the time you snapped out of it you had lost the match.

“I thought you were supposed to be some awesome ass gamer, that was terrible.”

“Shut up! What do you want me to do ?”

“How about you play in just your bra from now on.”

You scoffed because you knew that he was doing this to embarrass you, you knew he just wanted to belittle you. Even if he did like you, he was still an ass, and you were determined to finally put him in his place.

“Fine you want to play it like that, say less.”

You took off your night shirt and Yunho looked back at the TV to get ready to play the next round. Round after round Yunho lost to you because you had to show him who’s the top gamer here. You kept his theme of stripping, and he was left playing in just his underwear, his face was red as a tomato, and he was flustered playing. The next round started, and he pulled the ultimate foul move of gaming, pausing to see the move list.

“Come on YuYu don’t be scared of losing.” You laughed at his embarrassment.

He growled lowly. “Shut up, why are we even doing this anyways?”

“I have my reasoning, so come on and lose like a champ.”

Your eyes focused back on the TV and before he could unpause the game to take his loss, a message from one of his gaming friends came up.

xX_CallMeDaddyMin_Xx: Yo, Yunho did you screw that streamer chick your sister is friends with finally lol.

You both read the message and before you both could react another friend sent another message; you realize it’s coming from the group party chat. You disconnected his mic but forgot to leave the party too.

__bl00dy__San__: Yeah, tell her how you always watch her streams, probs jack off to them to lmaooooo.

Before anymore messages could come through, he turned off the TV.

“Ge-Get out I’m going to bed.”

He was a blushing mess, everyone just kept outing his little secrets today, he got under the covers and covered his face, and you couldn’t help but giggle at him, he was so cute when he was shy, and you hated to admit it. You crawled up next to him, now was your chance to get some revenge.

“Come on YuYu, tell me if what they said was true.” You snaked your hand under the covers slowly, trickling down his leg.

“Leave me alone.”

“Do you watch my streams YuYu?”

“Go the hell away Y/N” he said in a muffled shy voice, you needed to tease him more now, this was your area of expertise. Once again you were used to toxic guys trying to come into your streams to harass you, but you had a love for turning those same yelling dickheads to whimpering messes, it gave you so much power, and to finally have that advantage over the same guy that has bullied you for years. You were going to enjoy this way more then you should, and so was he, you reached up and whispered into his ear.

“Why YuYu? Don’t wanna admit you like to watch me stream even though you hate me.”

Your hands reached his V line, you played with the band of his boxers.

“I-I don’t hate you…”

“Oh really? How do I make you feel then YuYu?”

Your hands dived into his boxers, and you found his semi hard length, you started to rub up and down the shaft slowly to really tease him. One thing you hated to admit about Yunho was that he was packing. You grew up seeing him in all kinds of clothing and sometimes would see the outline, but you’d rather choke then admit he had a big dick but now that you’re feeling it it’s undeniable.

His bit back a small moan at the feel of your fingers on him, his mind was racing, the girl he’s been madly in love with since they were snot nosed was in his bed feeling him up, how could he possibly function.

“….you’re okay I guess.” He continued to hide his face in the covers.

“No, no little baby, I need a better answer then that, or do you just want me to stop and leave.” You stopped moving your hands but didn’t take them out of his underwear.

“No…please don’t stop.”

“Oh, you don’t want me to stop YuYu? Am I making you feel good? Is that why you watch my streams? Because I make you feel good baby.”

He didn’t respond so it was time to push these answers out of him, or more so rub them out of him. You gripped the base of his length and started to slowly pump his dick, he let out a soft moan at the sudden friction and it made your clit jump, you needed more and so did he.

“You…you look nice when you’re gaming.”

“Aww thank you baby but I’m asking you how I make you feel, so tell me that.”

Moving your hands up and down his shaft you directed your attention to his tip, pumping it tightly as precum slowly oozed out of it, you spread it over his tip the more you pumped, you wish he wasn’t so shy so you could watch his pretty pink tip be teased right now.

“Do I turn you on Yuyu? When I watch and degrade those guys on my stream does it make your dick throb? Do you wish I was talking to you?”

He could barely focus, the slow stroking on his length made him dizzy because the sensation was so strong.

“How about you let me see you Yuyu, let me see you fall apart for the girl you claimed to hate all these years.”

You pull the cover back and pull his dick out of his boxers, his dick was red and ready to burst, the tan shaft had pretty veins bulging on it, he had some girth, but the length was something to look at.

“Wow Yuyu your dick is so pretty for an asshole.”

He covers his face and looks away from you, he didn’t know rather he wanted to disappear or cum, your teasing was so sexy, but he didn’t envision the first sexual encounter with you going like this, but he wasn’t mad at it either. You started to pump his dick even more and moved down to it. As you pumped his dick faster, he bit down on his lips hard.

“Don’t hide YuYu let me see what you look like when you cum, is that what you want baby? You want to cum for me like a desperate little slut?”

“…yes…please…”

“Please what baby?” You kept a steady pace as your grip tightened a bit.

“…please let me cum for you Y/N.”

You grinned a bit at his begging.

“Show me Yuyu, show me how you touch your self when you watch my streams.”

He was shy but he was desperate, he sat up and you removed your hand from his needy dick, and he replaced it with his own. He avoided your gaze, his whole face was red, and his eyes were low, he wanted to cum for you so bad it was driving him crazy. He started to pump his sensitive cock, throwing his head back onto the LED lit bedframe, breathy moans coming from his plush M shaped wet lips.

“Ah…Y/N…please watch me cum.” He tightly closed his eyes as he could feel his climax steadily approaching.

You had a lustful yet evil smile on your face.

“Of course, baby I’ll watch you stroke your slutty dick all night if you want me too, but I want to see more baby so don’t cum just yet, okay?”

He opened his eyes, his vision was hazy, his climax was right on the horizon and having him hold it only made it worse.

“Please…please let me cum for you Y/N” his grip on his shaft was firm as he continued to fall apart under you gazes.

“Mm well since you ask so nicely and you’re so desperate, go ahead and cum for me Babyboy.”

His moans were soft but got louder as his strokes became faster until his came. He shot hot ropes of cum from his throbbing cock, he continued to pump as it shot out and landed on his legs. His chest puffed in and out as he held his dick in his hands, he tilted his head on the side of the headrest of the bed. You giggled at his fucked-out state.

“You’re actually so cute YuYu.” You gathered up all the cum that came out onto your fingers, his eyes opened to see what your next step was. You put your now cum covered fingers into your mouth and sucked all of it off as he watched.

“Come on Yuyu, I want to play some more.” You sat on your legs and reached behind you to unclasp your bra, when you removed it Yunhos eyes was glued to your 2 mountains. You took it a step further and removed your shorts and underwear. Yunhos breathing spiked again and his softened rod started to rise once again.

“Do you want to touch me Yuyu? Go ahead and touch me wherever you like.”

He eagerly nodded his head and reached out both hands and gripped both your breast, he started to massage them.

“Ah~ that feels so good, touch me more okay Yunho.”

He brushed his thumbs over your nipples, and you moaned even more, your aching cunt became hot as you threw your head back.

“Ca-can I kiss you?” he shyly asked.

“Of course, baby.”

He didn’t waste another minute and planted a hot kiss on your lips. You’ve had sex with plenty of guys before and kissed lots of them, but this wasn’t like any kiss you’ve ever had, this kiss had dept and meaning to it, however now that you realized it, this whole moment felt so sensual. His touch on your breast gave you goosebumps and his tongue entering your mouth made you want him even more, you never realized just how much your body yearned for Yunho until now. Your tongues were doing an elaborate dance before he disconnected your mouths.

“Y/N…I need to taste you please…” Before you could even respond he pushed you down and got between your legs.

“You’re such an eager little baby, you want to taste my pretty little pussy that bad?”

He once again nodded eagerly, the look in his eyes looked like he wanted to literally eat you. You decided to give him what he is craving, and you spread your legs nice and wide so he could get a nice view, he leaned down and put his face inches away from your soaking cunt, he was so close you could feel the small breaths he was taking.

“It’s so pretty Y/N” Your face got hot at the compliment, one of the rare times he has complimented you and its about your pussy, you felt like melting. He licked one long stripe from your hole to your clit, then flicked his tongue on your nub, your legs flinched to close, and he swiftly brought his hands up to hold your legs open. He was eating your pussy like he was on death row, and this was the last meal he requested. Your back arched and staggered moans started to come from your mouth. He inserted one then two fingers into your hole, your pussy clenched and unclenched repeatedly around them as he sucked your clit like it was a lollipop. Your hands gripped his newly bleach blonde hair.

“You’re doing so good Yuyu, I’m going to cum on your pretty face if you keep going baby.”

“Please Y/N, please cum on my face, I need more of you.”

He hadn’t even entered you yet and he was already pussy drunk, he kept licking your core like his life depended on it. Your hips started to buck and you grinded down on his face, the feeling of his lips wrapped around your clit and his long slender fingers deep inside you, you had reached your limit. You came on his face, your clit throbbed, your hole started to squeeze his finger tightly, you had a firm grip on his hair, and he kept lapping up your juices. Over stimulation started to kick in and it seemed like Yunho had no plans on stopping anytime soon. You tried to push his face away, but he was stronger than you and kept going.

“Yunho! I’m gonna go crazy and wake your sister up, stop!”

He finally released your swollen nub from his lips and took his fingers out of you, he looked up at you with his face covered in your wetness, his eyes looked to pure and sincere yet the entire scene of him still having your legs spread wide was everything but pure.

“I’m sorry…I just need you so bad Y/N…”

“Then hurry up and fuck me Yuyu.”

His eyes gleamed like a kid that just got told he can open his gifts on Christmas eve and not Christmas.

“R-really? Oh my god okay let me grab a condom.” He excitedly got up and walked over to his dresser. He grabbed on condom from the top drawer, and you could swear you saw his invisible golden retriever tail wagging, he was so cute you giggled to yourself. He walked back over as he was tearing open the condom, he fully removed his boxers before getting back between your legs. He rolled the condom all the way down his length and lined himself up with your entrance.

“Are you sure about this Y/N? We don’t have too if you don’t want to.”

You reached up to cup the side of his face and smiled warmly at him.

“I want this Yuyu, please take me, I need you just as much as you need me right now.”

He leaned down to kiss you deeply and inserted the tip into you. You winced as your pussy began to stretch around his dick. He kept the slower pace as you moaned into his mouth, his length just kept coming, it felt like it was never ending. Once he bottomed out in you, he stopped the kiss.

“Are you okay?”

“Yes, I’m okay baby, I promise.”

He stroked into you once. Twice. Three times. Then stopped deep in you and closed his eyes tightly as he held his position inside of you.

“What’s wrong? I told you I’m okay, you can keep going.”

“I-I know but- I’m not” a rosy blush covered his high cheeks bones yet again and that’s when you put two and two together.

“Yuyu did you…did you cum?”

“…yeah”

He pulled out of you and the condom was filled with his cum, he took the condom off in embarrassment and tossed it into his bedside trash You wanted so badly to tease him, but you couldn’t bring yourself to do it, instead you reached your arms out to invite him in for a hug and he gladly accepted it. He dropped down on your body, and you hugged him tightly, even though he just came his dick was still hard as rock.

“Are you still horny Yuyu?”

“Yea but that was my last condom.”

“So, you are a little slut huh?”

“Not now Y/N” he was still sad that he couldn’t fully experience his first-time having sex with you the way that he wanted too.

“…Are you clean?”

“Of course, what kinda question is that?”

“…well, I am too.”

“What are you saying right now Y/N?” He leaned up to make sure he was understanding exactly what you were saying, and he wasn’t just hearing what he wanted to hear.

“I’m saying…if you want to keep going without a condom…we can…I trust you.”

That was all Yunho had to hear, he leaned back down onto you, and you hugged him again, he reached down and lined himself back up into your entrance and slid his dick back into you. His ear was right by your mouth as you let out a throaty moan, he wrapped his arms around you, squeezing you tightly, pumping into your pussy slowly and deeply. You gripped both his shoulders and drip your nails into them.

“You feel so good inside me Yuyu it’s so deep.”

He started to pump into you deeply, his tip hitting your spot like it was a drum as he drilled into you. He groaned as the over stimulation and his soon approaching climax was rushing forward.

“I’m about to cum Y/N please cum with me.”

You dragged your nails up and down his back leaving red streaks up and down his back as he stroked deeply into you. You started to see stars; you tried your best to moan quietly but you couldn’t the feeling was too amazing. In perfect sync you two came together, you could feel the hot liquid deep inside you, thank God you were on birth control or you’d for sure be good as pregnant.

He still held you tightly and gave no signs of letting go, his dick softened inside of you.

“Yunho pull out so I can wipe up.”

“I want to stay in you forever Y/N, I love you so much.”

You couldn’t help but smile when he said that.

“I’m so sorry I’ve been so awful to you, it’s not an excuse but you drive me so crazy, and hearing about that stupid group date my sister dragged you too pissed me off so bad. I want to be the only one taking you out, I want to be the only one seeing you like this…” He kept going, just spilling out all these feelings he had held in for years, you felt like your heart was going to explode. As he was still talking, you pulled him into a kiss.

“I like you too loser.” You kissed him again and he slid out of you, you could feel everything seeping out of you, he reached over to his bed side table and grab a few of the tissues that were in the tissue box. He carefully wiped out your overstuffed pussy and threw the tissues away. He pulled the cover over you both and brought you in too cuddle.

“Yunho, I have to sneak back into your sisters’ room before she wakes up.”

The door swung open, and your best friend stood in the door frame with dark circles under her eyes.

“Too fucking late for that, I’m glad you two worked out your feelings for each other but next time do it quietly and when I’m not fucking home.” She slammed the door as she left, and you and Yunho just laid their giggling with each other.

#Yunho smut #ateez smut #ateez fanfic #atz smut #yunho x reader #writenbypyramidofstars

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storiesbyjes2g · 2 months ago

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3.214 To love

We left for Chestnut Ridge immediately after I returned from Oasis Springs. I'd never been before, and neither had Sophia. It looked like something straight out of a movie or something. Long, dusty, desolate roads winded between the tall, red mountains. A glimmering stream cut through the middle of town. I don't think I'd want to live there, but it had charm. Maira and Oliver waited for us on the porch as we approached. She pulled us inside and gave quick greetings before getting back to an unfinished task in the kitchen.

She was stirring something in a big bowl. I hope she wasn't trying to bake a cake. Honestly, I was surprised to see her attempt to cook again. I think Oliver was surprised as well.

"Uhhh, you want me to finish that, darlin'?" he asked.

"It's their anniversary," she yelled. "I'm gonna bake them a cake!"

Oliver backed away slowly and turned his attention toward us.

"So you folks got married on New Year's Eve?"

"Sure did," I said. "It was on a beach in Tartosa one year ago today."

"And I was their flower pal," Maira said.

"Well, I'll be! We have all kinds of things to celebrate today," he said, tossing confetti in the air.

"Weeeeeeeeeeeee," Desiree shouted out of nowhere.

When I looked to see what had her so excited, she too had chocolate sauce and flour all over the floor! What is with these kids and messes today??

"DESIREE! Seriously?? What did Mommy say about how you're supposed to act in other sims' houses?"

Her face fell, and her eyes got all droopy. That face always makes me regret yelling at her.

"We should be on our best behavior."

"Is this your best behavior?"

"No," she said, almost on the verge of tears.

"It's alright, Luca," Maira said. "I'm sure she was just mimicking Oliver with the confetti. It's cool. I'll clean it up."

"No, she can clean it up. It's not okay for her to do that."

She's right, though. Desi isn't a bad kid and was probably just joining in on the New Year's Eve fun. Maybe we should have left her with Less and the nuggets. It has to be frustrating for her to often be the only kid around a bunch of adults. I didn't need to yell at her like she committed a crime. I feel like the older I get, the lower my tolerance for foolishness gets. My patience is nowhere near where it used to be.

Maira joined Sophia in the living room, so I seized the chance to get to know Oliver. He got me laughing pretty early on, and I could see how Maira would feel like all their dates ended on a cliffhanger. Oliver had a warm, positive air about him, and I concluded he was definitely not a snake. He's a bit younger than us, which explains why he's still interested in starting a family. Hopefully Maira has changed her mind because the last time we spoke about her feelings, children were nowhere near on her radar. On top of being a foodie, he's a pretty good cook which is great because we all know her skills in the kitchen are lacking. One interesting thing I learned about him is that he loves to knit. I asked if he ever thought about selling his wares on Plopsy, but he's not interested. He doesn't want to lose the fun of it, and turning it into a job is the fastest way to do that. Respect!

Maira poured herself a drink and stood in the middle of the room.

"Grab a drink, everyone! Well, not you, little missy. I want to do a toast before you leave."

Sophia and I stand up, but Oliver motions for us to sit down and pours us a drink.

"I just want to congratulate these two for making it an entire year and wish you many many many more happy years together. I knew of Luca in high school, but we didn't meet until after he graduated. I walked into a bar one night, and there he was. I'm really glad I chose that bar, and I'm grateful for this friendship that has lasted all this time. You loved me like a sister and showed me that there are good men out there. You set me up to be open, and now I have a love of my own. So, I think we should toast to love tonight!"

"To love!"

#ISBI challenge #sims 4 story #sims 4 gameplay #adolting #adolting gen 3 #luca winston murillo #sophia aguilar #maira watson #oliver o'keefe #desiree amari murillo

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novankenn · 1 year ago

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OMG!!! (VI)

A/N : Yes... yes another one... will this be the last one? Don't look at me like that! This COULD be the last one! It could! Don't laugh... This can totally be the last one!

( Series Chapter List )

Nora and Pyrrha felt a little... deceptive. Neither could or would admit they had their "episode" due to seeing Joan in a very alluring maid costume. So they just ambushed her with a barrage of questions about what she had been up to.

"I... um... I have a job." Joan fidgeted, an obvious tell-tale sign she wasn't being... completely honest.

"A job?" Nora asked, burying any thought of needling Joan about what she was really doing. "What type of job?"

"Just a job."

"So that's what's taking up all your free time?" Pyrrha asked, fighting her own anti-lying response, of blurting out "I'm Sorry!"

"Yes. It takes a lot of time, and preparation but I like it, and it helps me cover my tuition and living costs." Joan pouted "Seeing as I don't have any scholarships or sponsors."

"Joan... you could have come to us. We would have helped." Nora offered.

"Nora's right, Joan. If you need help, we'll be glad to help."

"Thank you, but I can't rely on you guys for everything." Joan commented, "You guys already help me out so much... I just needed to do this for myself."

"We understand. Just make sure you're doing... a job... you actually like. Don't do something you're not comfortable doing just because you need money."

"Oh, I love this job." Joan beamed Nora and Pyrrha with a blinding smile. "It takes a lot of time, but it's so fun to do!"

Joan didn't see Pyrrha flinch, but Nora did. It was a direct hit to Pyrrha's feelings, and mental image of her crush. Nora knew this was a bad sign. A bad, bad sign, and she would need to step in for some damage control.

"I'm... I'm glad you found something you like doing so much." Pyrrha responded through clenched teeth.

"I'm so glad you approve!" Joan chirped as she hopped forward and pulled Pyrrha into her ample chest.

"So are you done work? If you are we should go get something to eat." Nora asked.

"I think..." Joan released Pyrrha and checked her scroll, "Shit!"

"J... Joan?" Nora stammered out, having never heard JNPR's fearless leader swear, once ever.

"Sorry, I have a stream... er... I mean a shift to do." Joan shoved her scroll back into her pocket. "Later or tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow would be lovely." Pyrrha chimed in.

"Tomorrow sounds good." Nora added.

Joan beamed her pair of friends another 1000 watt smile, before rushing off. Nora and Pyrrha looked at each other, before rushing back to JNPR's dorm. Bursting through the door, the pair rushed over to Pyrrha's blood stained bed, and grabbed her scroll.

"Ewwwwwww" Pyrrha cringed as she used only two fingers to lift her scroll from the mess it had been dropped in. "Ummmmm..."

"Use my scroll?" Nora asked.

"Please?"

Nora reached into her pocket and pulled out her clean scroll, and handed it to Pyrrha so she could log into GoldenAngel(Joan)'s stream.

"PYR!" Nora shrieked.

"I must resist." Nora grunted as she turned from Pyrrha's downed form to the video stream, "You don';t KNOW the power you hold Joan!"

"I'm back!" The chat exploded with comments and requests. "You missed me! Oh thank you! Kisses!"

Nora struggled, between watching, helping Pyrrha and succumbing to Joan's charms herself.

"I have BIG NEWS!" GoldenAngel(Joan) giggled out, "I'm setting up an ONLY-FANS!"

Once again in under twelve hours Pyrrha and Nora found themselves waking up in the infirmary, this time with an extremely distraught Joan and a slightly annoyed Ren waiting on them.

#rwby #jaune arc/joan arc #fem!jaune #pyrrha nikos #nora valkyrie #joan is an e-girl #one shot?#Youtube #ai generated illustrations

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wutlaikalikes · 8 months ago

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Hizaki Gamma 🖌️

japanese notice: https://cover-corp.com/news/detail/20240719-01 english notice: https://cover-corp.com/en/news/detail/20240719-01

I will tell you this in all honesty, I have never experienced being shocked from a news before. I would say or type such expression since its the most appropriate thing to say when in disbelief. I was watching a movie when I randomly reached out for my phone and the first thing I saw is Gamma's termination notice. And I will tell you, that was the first time I actually felt being shocked from a news.

image source: https://x.com/hizakigamma/status/1814180939054059978

a message from hizaki gamma (from holostars management)

translation by LAMBDADELTA on Twitter link: https://x.com/ulambdadelta/status/1814199681448358329

This really didn't say much as always cause of NDA. But I hope the person behind Gamma is okay. I remember him talking about one of his previous jobs and that he was let go but has taken a positive attitude. I know getting into a company is a blessing but in times like this, you just realize its a double edged sword.

Gamma isn't my kamioshi, but i do watch his streams from time to time. I like watching his Karaoke and Minecraft streams live or as a VOD. I'm not really much of an artist but I do enjoy watching or looking through his art. He's that loud voice that just hypes you up. We'll make some noise for you, always!

Compared to Vesper's and Magni's graduation, I wasn't as sad. I knew where to find Vesper and Magni but Gamma, since he is Japanese, it'd be a miracle if any of the kaigai niki / overseas bros would find it. Compared to the girls, I don't know if any of the Japanese fans would share if he is doing okay.

i posted this as soon as I was able to compose myself. i really should study Japanese again. I was watching his streams but i don't really understand what he was saying. the fireworks are pretty though.

image source: https://x.com/hizakigamma/status/1813169756951691738

🖌 : Thanks for the stream! 🤟 It was fun playing Minecraft on the Holostar server for the first time in 200 million years!!! Thanks to Miyabi, we were able to set off some huge fireworks! Thank you 🙏 🕯 : Wow!!! Amazing!!! I wasn't invited to the fireworks festival 🖌 : Since Rio-kun didn't ask me out, I went out with another guy…

the sad thing is, Gamma is terminated, which means his VOD will have to go. i have no means of archieving but i will try with at least my favorite karaoke streams and covers. maybe i'll host it on facebook privately. as for the pictures, as far as i know they don't wipe twitter/x (like yozoka mel's twitter), so i'll go throught that last.

starting tomorrow, i'll try screenshots of my favorite Gamma YT posts here. my intention is to keep Gamma's spirit alive. so he won't end up like Kaoru or Suzaku. i want to be able to say, Gamma is cool. the hyper party mangaka is freakin awesome.

i'll also continue to post clips of gamma. i know one of Cover's rules for clippers is to not post of clips from privated VODs but i hope they can bend this for graduates and those terminated. i know clippers who are earning from clips have to follow the rules but i hope they can keep it up.

just in case i want to say; this, my Tumblr, is just a blog. from what i've observed, you can earn money from here but i don't. the intention of this blog is to share the things i like, hence the name, wutlaikalikes.

also...

i deleted this tweet cause i saw that he has been taken out of MMD and HoloPlus. hoping they haven't caught wind...

#blog #uproar!!#holostars notes #hizaki gamma

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thesmpisonfire · 2 years ago

Note

So I know a lot of people will probably disagree with this but I was watching forever yesterday and listened to him talk about viewer reactions to lore etc and I completely agree with him about how ccs need to be allowed to make their character villains if they want and I 1000% agree, let the cc do what they want with THEIR characters. but him being so focused on the negativity of Twitter and how if people don’t stop being negative on Twitter etc the series won’t last long and as sad as it is to admit it will literally never get better on there so ccs need to stop basing how they feel about the SMP on people on twitters opinions. Again I don’t mean this in a mean away against forever but people being dickeheads on Twitter are not going to change because he decided to talk to his chat during a live stream. Take ccs like quackity and Foolish who have both reminded their chats it’s roleplay do not be fucking idiots like once or twice and then just did their thing uncaring of Twitter and people whining. Foolish literally arrested Pac and Mike and then took a job that was offered by the federation and the hate on Twitter was insane but he just doesn’t check Twitter so he didn’t care and quackity created an entire villain character that tried to blow up the everyone including the eggs and again yeah people were being ridiculous on Twitter but he just ignored it and did his thing and had fun. I just think if ccs are going to enjoy their time on the server they have to know that Twitter will not change, it’s awful and people SHOULD know not to behave like that but that’s just how that site has always been and I think basing your enjoyment and predicting the longevity of the server based on that is silly and is honestly just setting yourself up for failure

Cellbit and Felps are well used to twt being dicks since the Ordem Paranormal fandom when theres an active season happening is fucking TERRIBLE and completely impossible to actually navigate, so from those 2 they know how to manoeuvre it

Mike was always like "fuck all of you, I'm doing my own think" ever since I've watched him as a kid, and never was afraid to set his foot down and be clear that no chatter or tweet would make him change

Pac and Forever tho? They're new to this. Pac is way mellow and cares for the fanbase so he's always lurking and also hates to have serious talks about these topics so it often reaches boiling point for him to speak up. And Forever had an explosion in his fanbase and ever since the start was under attack, and as a fellow ADHDer I know how RSD gives you the need to constantly know what people talk about you and how badly it affects you. It's why Forever speaks a lot about twt, since he's always using it and lurking to know what's happening

I agree with you, they should stop using it, but at the same time some of them are still getting a hand on it to find out exactly how to do it since they love to see the fanart and what the community is cheering about

#discourse #their wretched site

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chorusfm · 1 month ago

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A Better Simple Streaming Music Sharing Page

When I debuted the “share music page” in 2019, it was really just something I wanted for myself. I wanted a better way to be able to share music in my newsletter so that people could easily find the albums on their preferred streaming platform. But over the past few years I’ve heard from so many people that have used the page to share music with their friends and family as well. I see thousands of songs and albums in the database. To see a small personal project grow to be used by others is the biggest compliment. As I wrote about last week, I’ve been working on improving my personal blog as a way to keep myself busy and away from doomscrolling. It’s been a fun nightly project to add some new features and start posting more photo and micro blogs when inspiration strikes. The first time I posted an update about something I was listening to I just knew I needed to find a way to combine my sharing project and my blog. So I did. I ended up re-writing the entire sharing backend so that it would work automatically in my blog anytime I share one of the links. It notices it’s a share link and it populates a cool little player under the post with links to all of the various streaming platforms: Clicking on one of the icons will take you to the song or album in the that streaming service. And as a bonus, clicking the album artwork will open up (if available) the YouTube song or playlist right there on the page to play immediately. The mini blog share widgets load in the background so they’ll never block the loading of the page, keeping everything nice and fast, and they use the same shared backend to pull information from so once a song or album has been loaded once, by any person, it should be incredibly fast on subsequent loads. I then took this new format and feature-set and applied it to the main share pages as well. They get an updated look, and get all the same fast loading features as the mini versions: The new pages also do a much better job of normalizing band and album names. So if you search for blink-182, or blink 182, or blink182, you’ll always get the same page. URLs also get better (and automatically) normalized. Searches with typos will run various checks to see if the system can find what it thinks you might mean and redirect you to the proper page before giving an error. And I even built myself a small admin backend so I can make edits to the pages as needed. For example, sometimes I’ll create a share page for a song before there’s a YouTube video up for it. Now I can add that later. Or if the system pulls a live version for an album, instead of the proper studio version, I can easily fix that: And, as a bonus (and something I will probably be looking to use in other ways on the website in the near future), because this is now effectively a WordPress plugin, I can natively in posts do this: That one is not an image. You can click the links to check out the (pretty damn good) album on any of those streaming platforms, or click the album artwork to listen to it right here on this page. This is one of my favorite new “features” I’ve built in a while and I’m excited to keep testing it out, fixing any bugs that come up, and finding new fun ways to integrate it on the website. Please consider becoming a member so we can keep bringing you articles like this one. --- Please consider becoming a member so we can keep bringing you stories like this one. ◎ https://chorus.fm/features/articles/a-better-simple-streaming-music-sharing-page/

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emoselenas · 3 months ago

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2024

fun fact. as i am sitting down to write this i'm a little buzzed lmao. i decided to have some sake with my take-out ramen dinner and we're gonna see if this was a genius idea or a mistake.

so i have been doing this year-end recap for 4 years now. this is the fourth year. before jotting that down, i scrolled back in my profile at my post history to fact check. i started chronicling tour when we started touring in 2017, but i felt like i didn't start recapping the years until later on, and my instinct was correct.

when i started doing these, it was because i felt like 2020 was the best year of my life and i didn't want to forget how it felt. what scares me is my memory has only worsened with each year. and this was the year i wish i journaled the most, because so much happened. i started journaling because of my weak memory and i also needed to convince myself that i had a good life. i needed to be able to look back and say, despite my shortcomings and the should-haves, it was a good year.

this year was full of that same insecurity; thinking greatly about my shortcomings and everything i should have done. but objectively, it was my most accomplished year as a musician. and in my opinion, the most important year of my life.

when i tell you infinite void was and is the most significant thing to me, it was, and it still is. when 2024 began, we were getting ready to release swear words and announce the record. i had already been nonstop since like, september or october, with a brief break in december. my bandmates and i were hanging out all the time. filming content, getting album stuff ready, doing IG lives, promoting the record. i was in the midst of my hannah montana life between my full-time job and operating at an even greater mach speed on the WSA record. a significant memory for me is spending the swear words release week in the city for a work offsite, and really feeling that duality of my life. in fact, i think it was like that night that we did the IG live that it was raining in manhattan and i had gone for a really peaceful, quiet walk to run errands and buy soju. i was listening to sugarholic by itzy and i felt so content to do something so mundane between my busy schedule. anyways.

i remember being so taken aback in a good way by the swear words reaction. a lot of people who normally don't praise us peered their heads out to praise it. it made me wonder if we were on to something. i didn't think releasing that song into the world would be emotional for me, but it was.

we had a clone hero stream to celebrate and then the rest of the album promotion cycle continued. i was really burned out. i have rarely felt reprieve from that same burn out all year. but there i was, still plugging away and setting up my STUPID tripod to record my STUPID tiktoks, all for a chance to convince people that Our Music Is Good. maybe the video would appear on their feeds, and that my stupid mug paired with the recordings of our music was enough proof they would like our music.

we also like, we did that billboard bit thing and here's the thing. i went full send with it and i believed it because all 5 of us agreed we could achieve it. so yes, it seems ludicrous, but i committed. i didn't understand what we were up against until after the album came out. we will come back to this.

the sake is starting to hinder me. i've pulled up google photos because there are blanks in my memory. okay.

actually february was a nothing month lmao. but i guess i remember it being more action-packed because i was getting ready for honey. there's a couple hinge screenshots of dudes saying the absolute wackest shit ever. jesus i don't miss that. after getting blasted in the city by accident and my best friends' birthdays, i decided to abstain from alcohol til may. towards the end of february, i got a phone call from kristen. i would bet money it was thursday the 29th. that was when she told me some news that i really wasn't better or worse off for? if you know you know. it was a super nice thing of her to call me for. i guess it was because anyone close to me would worry how i would take it, but the first word out of my mouth was, "whatever".

and then, my now-boyfriend slid in to my DMs two days later.

while i was at DIY prom he responded to my story repost of caleb's me n who tweet of two chaos. i was fucking STOKED because he had been creeping my story posts since august and i was dyyyyyyying for an opening to hit him up. he's not super online at all, he does NOT post, so i had no other way to talk to him otherwise. i literally remember the first time i caught him in my read receipts, and i was like "oh duh! i'm single! .... OH MY GOD GUNNAR IS SO HOT" but! that was in august! and from august til MARCH we didn't speak.

i was literally so excited for him to message me. i wrote him back and i was so anxious waiting for him to respond to me it felt like my hair was falling out. when he finally messaged me back we talked nonstop for hours until he casually asked me out and re-asked me for my number

yeah not sure if anyone knew this lore but we worked together 10 years ago. crazy.

honestly at this point i was still in my hoe phase and i was like not even sure if he wanted anything serious. i wasn't sure if *i* wanted anything serious! i told my therapist that i didn't lmao. i wasn't even sure if he actually asked me out on a date. and i went on the date, and i think we were both the Most Nervous People Alive. but then he kissed me after 5 hours of sitting on his couch together, and then we went on 3 more dates. and i was like......................i am definitely falling in love with him.

so yeah. i got a boyfriend this year. i thought i knew what the partner of my dreams was, but i didn't know until gunnar. more on that later. but dating gunnar came at a really serendipitous time, because when we started dating i was so stressed out about IV promotion. i wanted to k!ll everyone, God, and then myself. spending time with gunnar forced me to slow down. i'm grateful to him for that.

at the end of march, i lost my job. i still remember how it felt to get on that random 10 am call with my boss and HR, not expecting what was coming. i felt so angry. i was heartbroken. i grieved the job pretty badly. melissa, the closest friend i made at that place, and someone i would be grateful to call my friend forever, was one of the few people to check on me. i was sad to realize the people i worked closely with had no interest in maintaining a friendship with me afterwards. i learned a really hard lesson. it was the one job i got so attached to, and the outward kindness i showed my peers ended up meaning nothing in the end. but also! like why do i care about making besties at work!! i guess it was the one place i felt the closest with anyone. so let this be a cautionary tale of sorts, i guess, dear reader. my mom bought me flowers and told me everything was going to be okay. she was right.

we also had to bail on the billboard bit. i was depending on my income to fuel one really hard last album push and now that was gone. i know no one believed we would achieve it, but i sort of did. however, we literally didn't have any gas to fuel the promotion of the record anymore. it was just fucking me and my tiktoks.

so then comes april. and i start bringing gunnar around my bandmates and family. and then infinite void comes out. and i'm just about as anxious as i've ever been til this point. reviews started to come out and they were unanimously positive (note that i have still not gone on rate your music. please don't show me anything or prove me otherwise lmao). i was like, all right, maybe we truly are onto something.

april 26th comes and goes like a whirlwind. it felt good to dominate people's feeds. we got so lucky with that release date; i think only one or two other bands dropped the same day as us and all of the heavy hitters already released a week or two prior. it was incredible to read people's reactions. we really felt the love.

and then it all stopped after two days.

i was not prepared for that whiplash. i wish somebody told me. because once that hype dies, you can't get it back. luckily, we had tour coming up, literally, immediately after release day.

our longest tour ever- sails in space.

for as exhausted as we felt, this is the closest to an actual lengthy tour we've ever gotten. i'm getting tired just thinking about it lmao. this tour honestly kicked my ass and it made me even question if i had nodes. i couldn't believe how much i was struggling. i wanted to cry the last stretch. but i was living my dream. that much i could be happy about. we got to meet so many people and reconnect with folks especially in texas after not coming back for two years.

this was the first tour that it felt like we were seeing complete strangers who knew who we are. people drove far distances to see us. things like that make me believe we have the right to peoples' attention. the biggest bummer was that we didn't get to spend a lot of time with space weather at all. can you believe that? two weeks on the road together! barely any hang time, but tony and i both got sick. he had it far worse than me, but my illness lapsed the 2nd half of the tour and by emo nite i had no fucking voice. i couldn't sing along on the mic while we were DJing. it was that bad.

i was both happy it happened and scared that it meant i wasn't cut out for this. but i wasn't about to stop myself from touring.

we returned from tour and i came home to flowers and a squishmallow from my boyfriend (incredible). i spent more time with gunnar, with weeks of dates leading up to us saying i love you on june 1st. me being jobless didn't make me a loser to him, and i was glad. i was approved for UI and blessed with the space to breathe and enjoy life while i job hunted. we had some time til our next tour, so i took advantage of my super open schedule to go to the beach a million times, sing, draw, see my friends, sleep in, etc., etc. looking back, i wish i did more, but i think i needed it. because really - i could have been editing more gaming tiktoks and doing more to make income off my projects but i didn't. blah.

then....................death tooth happened.

so of course, after i lose my insurance, i get this absolutely insane tooth infection that renders me unable to chew and completely in pain. i really wish i could tell you where it came from. it started the weekend i took gunnar to see pulses. in the city and the day after i couldn't move my jaw. i literally have never needed this in my life but i had to schedule an operation to get my tooth removed. it was a fucking miracle the oral surgeon could take me, because bro told me if i went to someone any later it would be life or death. the tooth was so impacted that it was pushing on my nerve and closing my throat. the day before the op i chugged 32 oz of pineapple juice (thank you cheer) and it was back to business as usual. the only thing that FUCKING SUCKED WAS I MISSED SAOSIN LIVE. GUNNAR BOUGHT US TICKETS (FUN FACT HE ALMOST GUITAR TECHED FOR THEM) AND WE HAD TO MISS IT BECAUSE OF DEATH TOOTH. I WAS SO MAD. JUNE WAS BASICALLY A WASH.

as soon as i was better i was leaving the house again. went to get oysters, saw t-pain play, took a pole class, went back to the beach. june ended with a gig in philly with our new friends in secret gardens and the vocalist of sincerely gave me unsolicited singing advice, which deeply saddened me but set me on fire.

i mean that's the thing right. i've had this cracking issue the entire time i've been in with sails ahead, my head voice needs work, i've tried to get help for it, and i have had to bow out of singing lessons due to financial reasons every time. but i also have this intrinsic hatred of hearing myself make mistakes while i sing. it's something had to look dead-on in the face and work on this year. i still believe i've barely gotten better, but i got somewhere.

in july i got food poisoning (i really could not catch a breath this year) but it didn't stop me from Eating It All. after a month of doing no added sugar (during death tooth! insane), we went on many a food outing to eat the most delicious treats. had boardwalk treats and immediately got sick from the sugar overload, treated gunnar to one of my favorite sichuan restaurants, went to a hot pot spot where you cooked stuff while it was still alive, min-maxed a family lunch trip so that we could dine at both a ramen restaurant, an izakaya AND a hand roll bar in one day, and made smores as i got to enjoy yet another Funemployed GDQ week for sgdq.

really, just so many quality hangs every fucking month with friends this year, but it's worth mentioning that before he moved to florida my friend and mod fwis met up with me and gifted me not ONE but TWO SWORDS.

in august gunnar and i went on our first little trip and spent the weekend in brooklyn. we saw seeyouspacecowboy, daoboys, and blind equation, and after that, ATE EVERYTHING. i can't believe i got so lucky to have a partner who also has a stomach as big as his eyes. we played a big fest with many friends a weekend later, and then i prepped for WC4. august was also the last of my beach trips because i got too busy.

a significant event in august was when i was invited to sing with the anime night party band at mercury lounge. i have been feeling a really bad way about myself as a vocalist, and it meant so much to be asked to just sing. even though i lowkey blew it lmao, i ate it on the last chorus (so mad), it was suuuuuuuuch a fun experience. AND I GOT TO EXPERIENCE PLAYING WITH KITTED OUT IEMS AND BACKING TRACKS AND A COUNT-IN. wiiiiiild. i felt so professional hahaha

so then september came. and at this point i'm really motivated to hit every single show on WC4 hard since it was only 4 days versus the fucking 12 shows we did in may lmao. while i have hangups about most of the shows, that was the tour when we started sounding good NIGHT ONE and there were no jitters to shake off. every single night and show and hang was fucking awesome, and we were super grateful to our pal dan mccool for crushing the set every night. almost every show was the best gig we've played in each respective state, specifically NC and GA. playing the masquerade was fucking incredible despite the stressful load in. a rare show where we had green room access, but it wouldn't be the last of the year.

okay so i'm on sake #3 and it's almost midnight i gotta wrap this up goddamnit

the rest of september i spent a ton of time with friends and obv it capped off on my birthday p much. we saw a couple of sick shows and gunnar told me to block off my birthday so i did. i was like. what is this man planning. had a delicious lunch with my family and the next day our hungover asses (went to a wave break show the night before) got up at balls o'clock for my surprise birthday plans. well. this man fucking took me to fucking swim with otters. and not just swim with otters. but we met various animals including a capybara and a kangaroo. absolutely the most insane fucking birthday of my entire life. i love my karaoke parties don't get me wrong, and my parents have thrown some classic ragers for me as a kid (home petting zoo is top tier) but i just. wow.

in october the food adventures continued lmao. jaime, gunnar and i trekked to queens and had an incredible day. we had raw marinated crab for the first time and it straight up CHANGED us as PEOPLE. starting this month, i began to prepare the hardest i have ever prepared for tour (the rock star energy tour, that is) in my entire life. like, religiously singing with sails ahead songs every other day, inching up to daily towards december. i started a small business lmao. i am not gonna lie i didn't realize starting a POD store would be constantly fronting the costs of every shirt but i said fuck it and did it any way. i'm really proud that people have been enjoying light drive and that total randoms have been buying the merch. i'm really excited to keep doing that as a part-time job going into 2025. went to many shows, including nightlife opening for rain city drive, the lolitslea release show, small town fest in CT, and pulses. opening for fucking FOXING and FROM INDIAN LAKES. the latter became a vehicle for gunnar and i to take a weekend trip to the DMV to spend a day in DC and then a day with kevin and caleb. it was awesome. i am so grateful for a partner who likes traveling with me. since i still couldn't find work, i did not dress up for halloween this year. i am debating on staying blonde for one more halloween so that gunnar and i can do our couple's costume that we didn't get to do.

in november we got to do gunnar-centric stuff which was such a nice change of pace lmao that man is always bopping along for my schedule and i was really excited to do stuff for him. we saw TDWP is eternal tour and that was an absolutely incredible line-up. i posted about silent planet and after the gig garrett russell told me i'm hitting guest vocals next time they're in jersey. ME !11!!!!1!!!!!! i hope the timing works out or it actually happens, either way it was just sick to see him say that or even WANT that to happen. then i got to see gunnar play a couple of gigs, one with durl and the other with bella. it's so fucking awesome having a partner that plays music, and the music rocks. i love him so much. back in october we also decided to drop a single before the end of the year and hurriedly prepared to drop YER. i know it was a flash in the pan but it was worth it in my opinion. it's not gonna go on anything else and after experiencing what dropping an LP is like in a post-covid world nothing matters anymore! thanksgiving was wonderful, i was nervous about meeting gunnar's family but they've been nothing but awesome and it was great to spend the holiday together. in november was also our long-awaited mini cow date. back in april we talked about going to see them in may, but the farm *had* to reschedule us and we both unflinchingly said yes to november. in april. lmao. so that finally happened, and it was really lovely. the cows were so fucking goddamn cute.

so here comes december, the rock star energy tour, and it's this huge tour i've been preparing obsessively over. well. i still beat myself up for how i did, but i'll be damned if these weren't some of the best shows we've ever played. i'm so grateful we had cha for these shows, he's so goddamn solid and i love what he brings to our live show. it was so incredible to not only play bigger venues for once, but get the literal Rock Star treatment for every single one. we had green rooms for all of them except for richmond, and even still, every venue was sick. these shows were so well-attended and we have so many happy memories. the major thing that sucked was cheem having to drop, and then we ALL got sick halfway through. this is why with sails ahead typically does not do anything in december!!! but honestly, it was worth the risk.

after we got home i accepted a new job offer, i got to sing a full song in japanese live for the first time with my friends in eternal hoshi, WSA celebrated with our yearly christmas party, and then gunnar and i enjoyed our first christmas together with both of our families. this mf gifted me with an IPAD I WAS LITERALLY SO SHOCKED and we enjoyed much relaxation time. and korean shabu shabu!

i'm sad because i'm rushing now. yes, after spending 4 hours on this, i still consider this rushing, because i'm missing a tremendous amount of detail. so i'll cap this off with a shit load of rumination, as i am typically want to do.

i really wish infinite void went bigger. i do and don't understand why it didn't. we worked insanely hard on the record itself, and i fucking poured my heart into promoting the crap out of this thing. it was devastating that people moved on so fast. it would be one thing if it was mid (if we saw the signs, i would have accepted it), but to see people say things like our songs sounded like songs they have heard their entire life, that the record was so incredible and well-made, and yet more people didn't find it? or stream it? i don't know. i don't know anymore. i feel like if we had money (hate that it comes down to that), then we could reach more people. but idk. maybe if it was good enough we wouldn't need to do that? i always dreamed of releasing albums and touring worldwide. so we made it happen ourselves. if i waited for someone to hand those opportunities to us, they never would have happened, most likely. so why am i so sad that we still got to do anything?

it's that internal ageism i guess. i feel like the older i get, the more time slips away. i mean fuck my brain is already going now LMAOOO. but with how much i got sick this year i have to wonder what will happen the more we get older. and i wonder if we'll even have a shot at all. i still so desperately believe in the strength of our songs and i wonder what could happen.

gunnar and i talk about this a lot, and the reality is, i would rather pass my time going for it than quitting now. even though i am an imperfect live singer, even though we're not the best band in the world. i really think we're something special. and i will keep fighting for it.

i am sad that twitch has fallen by the wayside for me, but every time i go live it's still fucking awesome and my day ones still pull through and come hang. it's why i keep going. playing thousand year door was a fun time and it was the first time in a while i played a game all the way through on stream. i really believe i have what it takes to be a streamer, it's just that life gets in the way. i'm just happy to get to do it at all. i love my community so much nd i'm grateful for the friends who are a part of it.

it's after midnight and i have work 12 hours from now. the stupor from the sake has worn off and now i'm just sore. i spent my entire evening on this, because i didn't want the year to slip away without remembering as much as i could. despite everything that isn't there, my life is abundant with so much love and beautiful memories i couldn't make up in my wildest dreams. i love my family, i love my friends, i love everything we've all shared together. i don't know if 2025 will be like 2024. i don't know if we will get to tour this much ever again, and i hate not knowing. but i am happy. i really am.

i didn't think i would fall in love again so soon but goddamnit, i am so lucky. i didn't know the quiet guy behind the guitar center repair desk was my actual soulmate. i never would have known then because i was chasing someone who was rotten inside and out. and i love him. so much. we agreed that it was better this way, because maybe we wouldn't have found our way to each other or maybe it would have been the wrong timing if we knew sooner. but i can't believe love could be this easy. it's so easy with him. at first i kept him at arms length and i was scared, but there was nothing to be scared of. i didn't think a peaceful love existed for me but it fucking does. and i should have known it was him, because i didn't feel sick around him nor did my stomach hurt the way it did with [REDACTED] or [REDACTED]. i believed tumultuous love was normal and i was fucking wrong. literally, i wish everyone could have a gunnar.

okay well. every year i'm like, surely the next one won't be better than the last, and it is. i toured the most i ever have, sang anime songs, ate a lot of delicious food, got a job in gaming, spent so much time with family and friends, traveled, and fell in love. this was the most abundant year of my life. i truly don't know how 2025 can top this and i'm scared. whatever. it is what it is. i hope to get to a point where i am working my part-time job and also making income equally off of light drive. i don't know. i am trying so hard not to believe in fate and universal shit, but i feel like something has opened up for me to craft the life i dreamed of in 2020. so. let's see. either way, new with sails ahead coming in 2025. light drive going up. WC4E. lots of things to be excited about. i just. i swear to god if we don't tour the west coast and japan in the next two years i'm going to lose my mind lmao.

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notebookmusical · 3 months ago

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Hi! Omg I hope you had an amazing time at your Eras show! I watched parts of live streams each night and I was so nervous during the surprise songs for you! I hope you're pretty happy with them. I also enjoyed watching the TTPD set again, which I've only watched a few times. How was seeing that part live specifically? I'm just really curious cuz I'll never get to see it live. What was your favorite song or part of it? I'm intrigued by the spaceship in Down Bad and the Roomba in Who's afraid of little old me..just with her flying around and the screams and live vocals. I also like the showbiz like jazzy intro and performance of I Can Do it with a Broken Heart. It's very almost like Broadway and makes me happy. Anyway your guitar mashup seemed quite random to me but I would've loved to hear Haunted omg and the actual mashup in the bridge worked well to me. Never Grow Up and the Best Day was beautiful and also made sense as a mashup to me. I thought she would add part of Robin too but she never did. Anyway I also got The Best Day as my surprise song back at my rep show! so that made me smile. It wouldn't have been my first choice but made sense why she played it that time and now. I just hope you're not bummed by not going to closing night or anything,and that it still felt pretty special. You were able to get two Speak Now songs and a Fearless song! Unfortunately she didn't add Long Live back in the set and I'm sorry you didn't get to hear it. But I also was right about the Long Live and New Years Day piano mashup at the last show!!! I loved that she also sang a debut song at the last show in the guitar mashup but I guessed Our Song. It was pretty emotional for me..the only thing that would've made it better is if she added You're on your own kid but The Manuscript makes sense too. I loved it and she seemed so happy. I'm glad you were able to be there so close to it ending! I wonder what was being filmed. My guess is a documentary about the tour, with more behind the scenes and the process of creating it..or even just adding in TTPD..idk. What do you think?

Oh good job on the reading lol. I'm hoping to start some books on my list soon or continue others too. I completely forgot about the Starless Sea but I was enjoying that when I started it a long time ago. Hopefully I finish it eventually cuz you love it so much, along with the Night Circus. I looked up These Violent Delights and it seems interesting..I hope you enjoy it. I actually might reread the Outsiders too since I haven't read it since 8th grade and I hope you enjoy that too when you get to it soon! Haha I think that's the one I have too..it's from previews so it has the duet in it lol. You should tell me when you're watching and I will rewatch. That makes sense, I just feel like with that approach..I watch it once and play the cast album once and forget most of the songs and how they go..like it's hard to keep track of the songs sometimes when you watch a bootleg..but maybe it will be different cuz you'll be familiar with the plot by then and it might be easier to know where the songs were if that makes sense but you might forget how they go. At least that happens to me, but you'd get the whole thing watching it rather than confused just by listening lol. Are you going to try to think about where the songs are while reading or watching the movie? It was really hard for me when I first heard about the musical lol. Omg I'm not as familiar with the Back to the Future movie compared to Outsiders but I have seen it, just not in a long time. Idk if I ever fully watched the sequels though or might get them confused.It should be a fun musical to see and it kinda reminds me of Groundhog Day as a movie, and that was turned into a musical too. Idk if you're familiar with it but that's just the kinda vibes and show I think it would be similar to. I haven't actually heard much of the music from BTF though. Please tell me how it is..it will be here In February and I wasn't sure if we were going to be able to go but I'll try since you're seeing it!

Luckily that problem with watching a musical and forgetting the songs after wasn't really a problem with Merrily at all, and after listening again, I like them all a lot more. That usually happens too lol. The movie is definitely interesting because of the 20 years thing. It honestly doesn't make sense cuz the actors are about 30 right now anyway so wouldn't it only take another ten years..haha. honestly I could see Jonathan Bailey in it..just cuz I am not sold on any of the cast so far either..but I also said that about Wicked. I also just really loved Daniel, Jonathan, and Lindsay in this version a lot so that's probably part of it. But I'm also having trouble imagining how it would be with the settings and time jumps since it seemed like such a stage type show and idk how they'll convey that in a movie. I have the same favorite songs as you! I also said that about Death Becomes Her..how were they going to do the deaths and stunts on stage? But they probably will do a good job..I'm also excited for the costumes. The songs I heard almost reminded me of Chicago and with them being rivals and some songs about wanting to be famous and the music was sorta jazzy I think. So I definitely see how audiences could like that and it's supposed to be funnier than the movie.

Wow I had no idea! I was actually pretty shocked he was doing another Broadway show that soon. I'm not familiar with the show so I can't comment on that but I am happy about Jeremy lol. Are you familiar with the show? Of course I would love Mike to return to Broadway and he was good in West Side Story too. Also I finally watched Challengers this weekend lol. Did you watch it? I'm not sure what I thought about it but everyone's performance was pretty good. I feel it was sort of over hyped..idk. But while watching, my sister and I almost forgot that he was in Dear Evan Hansen and that it didn't seem like him in that lol. So hopefully he returns to Broadway at some point. I wasn't really worried about her acting..just that she has a pretty soft voice compared to Broadway usually but it might be that kind of show. It seems like Maybe Happy Ending has softer songs so it might not be a problem. Aww that's too bad cuz it's an original show but I hope it can last too. It's also Darren's first original role and would want him to be nominated and also Jeremy. Unfortunately a few shows just closed so I don't really know and it might be too early for Tony chances.

I do love the little shop movie so I hope you get to it at some point. Like I would find it weird watching Wicked that much with the Act Two and then not get to see it in the movie lol. Im sure that's what you mean when you said the movie felt pretty long. I am excited for Act part 2 though. What are you most excited for in Part 2? I feel like my favorite parts are in Act one, just when they're younger, but I'm very excited for No Good Deed and As Long as You're Mine. Haha those are some of the best songs in the musical. I think I know what you mean with Cynthia and so I wanna see how she sings these songs and if she gets less timid and more Jonathan Bailey. I think I would rather them be older then, compared to young in Part 2 though. I agree with all you said and it was good for Something Bad cuz I remember everyone thought it would be cut haha. I didn't remember anything about the Grimmerie stuff in Short Day so maybe that's why or the monkeys so I agree. I did like changes with Nessarose and that the actress actually uses a wheelchair, and the Wicked Witch of the East should be interesting in Part 2 as well. I just thought the cuts and scene changes felt weird in Dancing Through Life but actually make sense that way too..so it's hard. I do agree about the color and lighting..the movie just isn't that vibrant.

I wasn't that surprised by my Spotify Wrapped. My top artists were Taylor, Beyonce and Twenty one pilots. They had three of the best albums of the year and also before I listened, I went back and listened to all their old albums. So that plays a part in the amount listened and Beyonce and Taylor also had longer new albums too. Plus, my sister and I share the account so it gets doubled. I also did this with Halsey and Ariana and she was one of my top artists too. The top songs are honestly more random and idk how it chooses the songs when I mostly play the album. But I will say that with Spotify, I will leave recommended music on and that's how I ended up with Good luck Babe and Espresso as two of my top songs..it was always playing after Taylor's album I think and a lot of their other songs. I am surprised cuz I hadn't really listened to Beyonce since her album came out but I feel like it puts more stuff from the beginning of the year. But I mostly use Spotify for listening to new albums and artists everyday compared to like my YouTube. Soccer Mommy didn't make my Spotify but will always make YouTube, and like the Cure..so more mood music basically while I use Spotify to keep track of what I listen to throughout the year. I also have a lot of Outsiders on YouTube and Spotify. My top song on YouTube was apparently the duet from Outsiders that isn't on Spotify and I've only known about it since August lol and another one is one of the performances. On Spotify, it told me that July was my musical theater month which makes sense since I was listening to all of the stuff from the Tony's lol. Whats on your Apple Music replay? It's cool that you can look at it anytime and it updates throughout the rest of the year. Who were your top artists and songs? I hope you have a good rest of the week!

hellooooo my friend! i did! i had a really lovely time at eras and i was so, so happy with the surprise songs — my friend and i were in the car like "oh i hope she plays haunted... she probably won't though" so you can only imagine our excitement when she played haunted! and i loveeee alice and so when wonderland started i screamed. but the real highlight was experiencing the best day x never grow up with my mom 🥺 i was in tears.

the tortured poet set was interesting live because it was really apparent that it was added late and lowkey felt a little bit out of place? but i still liked it. i think down bad with the roomba was my favorite, but i also liked who's afraid of little old me! and i did enjoy ICDIWABH! i was a bit bummed i didn't get long live again but i heard it twice in seattle last year so it was quite alright! i think the surprise songs i got were perfect and just so special 🤍 my friend and i played mastermind and i had predicted a place in this world for night two and so i was like :o when she played it night three! i think the night two songs were kinda random but was not surprised by her night three surprise songs in the slightest! i also would not be surprised if it's a tour doc with some extended scenes/performances! i will say though it was slightly annoying because the cameras were blocking our view a lot </3 but i am excited for whatever comes out of it!

i am currently making my way through the wicked audiobook, and then the outsiders is next! finally! hopefully i can get through wicked by friday, and then outsiders over the weekend maybe? i did finally watch back to the future (the movie) in preparation for seeing the musical on thursday! and i probably won't think about where songs are while i'm reading/watching the movie for the outsiders!! i'm going to do my hardest to think of them as three separate entities but we'll see how that works out... i'll let you know how back to the future is though for sure! my friend went over the weekend and said the sound mixing was weird (as is normal for the paramount) so hopefully that won't affect my enjoyment of it too much!

i'm not super familiar with floyd collins but i know the gist of it and i do enjoy adam guettel's music (light in the piazza is one of my favorites) so i'm intrigued! and i loveeeeed challengers, i saw it in cinemas and i think it was just so brilliant! but i also watched it before it was EVERYWHERE so i think that makes a difference. i think zendaya, mike and josh all give phenomenal performances too!!

i am also an act 1 wicked enjoyer, but i'm really excited for ariana's thank goodness and her i'm not that girl (reprise), and i can't wait for cynthia & jonny's as long as you're mine anddddd cynthia's no good deed! oh and for good... oh i just love wicked. i think it is just very odd for a movie that is essentially the wizard of oz fanfiction to be so ... dull and colorless, given that the wizard of oz is known for ... color.

i also had espresso as my top song but apple music replay will update through the year so maybe it will get dethroned....! i was really surprised that taylor and the 1975 both made it in my top listened to artists, given that i haven't really listened to them this year and have been listening to a lot of musicals, but i guess because the way cast recordings are billed that kind of makes sense... my top listened to artists were holly humberstone → sabrina carpenter → taylor swift → the 1975 → maisie peters, and then top songs were espresso → cigarettes & wine → feather → my days → leave the light on! and top albums were: the secret of us (deluxe) → brat → the notebook → short n' sweet → older! all of which is shocking to me but that's okay! i also listen to a lot of physical media, so my replay is never fully accurate!

how are you doing? do you have anything you're looking forward to? what are you listening to? if i don't get a chance to talk to you soon i hope you have happy holidays if you celebrate them! 🤍

#post: answered #🩷 anon

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ridley-was-a-cat · 1 year ago

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What I Watched This Week – 3/10 – 3/23

Outlaw Star – It’s hard to believe, but this space adventure series is over twenty-five years old somehow, and I figured I should watch it while it’s still streaming. It follows a brash and cocky young man with an assortment of scars and bright red hair who runs an odd-jobs outfit with a level-headed and precocious eleven-year-old boy on a frontier planet. A series of coincidences gets them tangled up in the affairs of an outlaw attempting to outmaneuver a band of pirates, and sets them on an action-packed journey across the galaxy. I have to admit that I never really took to the main character, and just found his cocky recklessness vaguely annoying as he spouted one-liners while fighting every fight the same way every time. The rest of the cast was a touch more palatable, with his young business partner Jim and the wooden-sword-wielding assassin Shizuka being my favorites. It was a fun enough romp through space, but it was definitely dated, with more homophobic humor than I care for. 7/10

Yatterman Night – This is a spin-off of a series from the 70s, and it takes the villainous henchmen trio from that series and makes them the protagonists of a story where Yatterman is the villain. The story opens with nine-year-old Leopard discovering that she and her mother’s friends Voltkatze and Elephantus are the decedents of Doronjo, Boyacky, and Tonzura from the original story, and they become so angry at the Yatterman empire for not helping them when her mother was sick that they decide to journey to the capital to give him a forehead flick. I have never seen the original series, and those who have I am sure could pick up on lots of Easter eggs throughout the series, but everything stood alone just fine for me. I had a lot of fun watching Leopard take on the persona of Doronjo, complete with costume and villainous laugh, and Voltkatze’s quickly engineered contraptions and Elephantus’s incredible fighting strength made for exciting fights against the Yatterman forces. The animation was surprisingly good at times, giving the action a ton of life. A fun adventure with a colorful cast. 7/10

You Don’t Know Gunma Yet – I threw on this series of 3-minute shorts to kill some time one night, and there isn’t a whole lot to say about them. They center on a high school kid who has just moved to Gunma prefecture and learns various facts about the region that had been exaggerated for comedic effect. It all had the vibe of poking fun at where the rednecks live or something, and I don’t know enough about Japan to get most of the jokes or know whether they were punching down. 6/10

Slayers Next – I liked, but didn’t love the first season of this series, but I ended up really getting into this sequel season. Lina, Gourry, and the crew open their latest adventure by spoiling the world domination plans of the princess of a neighboring country before embarking on a quest to find a magical tome that Zelgadis hopes will have a clue for turning human again. I thought chasing after a mystical book was a fun and classic hook for an adventure, and I thought the new characters they encountered, the new villains, and the new threats to the characters were just all around more compelling than in the previous season. I can tell that if I had watched this in the 90s when I was a teenager I would have been up to my eyeballs in Lina and Gourry fan fiction. What a fun show. 7/10

#anime #backlist anime #outlaw star #yatterman night #you don't know gunma yet #slayers

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thescrapbookingscientist · 2 years ago

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Bimonthly Media Roundup

- Barbie (Movie) - Hell yeah it's here! Got to see this with my three closest gal pals and the energy at the theatre was fantastic, it was genuinely heartwarming to see how many people were dressing up in their best cutesy/pink clothes in the spirit of the film. The movie itself was also great, one of the funniest things I've seen in a long while, pitch perfect casting, on the nose but still entirely accurate social commentary, Incredible set design, and another life affirming-You are who you choose to be story. If I had to complain I'd say that Barbie should have spent a bit more time actually enjoying aspects of the real world in order to justify her decision at the end, but I understand that they didn't want to mess with the pacing so it's whatever. This movie was pure fun, I'll definitely be showing it to my parents when it comes out on streaming. Oh Also! AroAce Barbie rights baby, she's one of us now!

- The Magical Revolution of the Reincarnated Princess and the Genius Young Lady (Anime) - Alright, so this was a nice little story. The couple was genuinely cute both in terms of the individual characters being interesting in their own right and also having a lot of nice moments together, I appreciated how much of the story actually had interesting and relevant things going on outside of their relationship, and I'm shocked and enthused about how actually openly queer the story ended up being by the end-No ambiguity here these girls are gay as hell. I actually wish it was a bit longer - I went to the manga expecting more content and while there where a few nice extra scenes for the most part the anime covers all that's out so far. I wonder if the novels go deeper, I'll keep an eye on that as I'd really like to see if the dragon heart fusion plot went anywhere, it kind of fizzled out in the anime. Still if my main complaint is that I want more than that's not too bad, it get's a major thumbs up from me.

- ENNEAD (Webcomic) - Ah yes, the webcomic I wouldn't quite call a guilty pleasure as I don't feel guilt for enjoying a story with such a unique setting and aesthetic, genuinely engaging writing, and stellar art direction, but which nonetheless feels like one given how much I would never recommend it to anyone I know. I just don't have the mental fortitude to defend the sheer amount of trigger warnings this story would have to include before jumping in. That aside, It was on hiatus for awhile but has picked back up so I binged the new season and am enjoying the slightly lighter tone so far - At the very least the protagonist and love interest are getting a lot of cute, banter heavy, nice moments together which is a welcome change from seasons 2 kind of necessary but still tough to read mass of suffering. Also on a meta level, drama aside, it's pretty funny to see Horus trying defend the genocidal, war crime committing, unapologetic bastard that is Seth on the grounds that he's pretty and sad and is trying his best now okay? He's his poor little meow meow.

- When the Third Wheel Strikes Back (Webcomic) - For some reason a bunch of these chapters either got uploaded or translated all at once as their was like 15 with a new one each day there for a minute. Which, great! this is a fun one to binge. When they are well written, the "Please stop including me in the plot I'm just trying to live quietly" protagonists can be a lot of fun as they keep getting dragged kicking and screaming into increasingly world-altering bullshit and that's this story to a T. The humor in general is pretty great so far, and while we don't know too much about them yet I do like both deuteragonists, I'll be happy to see more of their interactions as a trio.

- Link Click (Anime) - Finished our rewatch of season 1, onto season 2. While I'm interested in the plot, I do still wish they would have spent more time with our leads outside of their job as I still don't feel like I know them very well, but eh at least their likable and serve the rising suspense well. The new OP is super cool with it's full scale rewind giving new meaning to each visual and overall the series still looks great. I like the design of the new villain though I hate the "overtly evil anime face" that he (rarely) and his subordinates (often) use - It just makes me irrationally angry with it's lack of nuance I guess.

- Lego Monkie Kid(Cartoon) - I'm a fan of Journey to the West and Sun WuKong adaptations in general so I decided to check this out despite not really being the demographic or a big LEGO fan. I'm a couple episodes into the 2nd season so far and my general opinion is that I like it but don't love it yet. The animation and voice acting is great and lego-fication aside I do like the character designs, I just feel that for now there's not enough of a central plot/lore information on the cast and a bit too much basic fighting for my taste. Mostly I just want them to address how the other journey to the west counterparts relate to the original story (are they reincarnations? Ancestors? Why does the Monkey King seem completely uninterested in them?) and feature more non-fighting related character bonding. Anyway, MK, Mei, and especially Red Son are all fun so far and I love the Macaque's demon design and the "Sun WuKongs bitter ex BF" vibes he's giving off, exited to see more of all of them.

- Ace Attorney Investigations: Miles Edgeworth (Video Game) - Hmm. Well I have to agree with the general opinion that the first one was one of the lesser games in the series - I did like some of the new characters like Badd and Lang but man did the cases drag and feature a lot of uninteresting nonsense. I'm not too impressed with the 2nd game yet either though there has been some funny writing moments and Sebastian is kind of hilarious, so I feel like it will probably be better than the first.

- Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom (Video Game) - Getting a bit burnt out from the sheer amount of Stuff to do in this game, but I did enjoy infiltrating the Yiga base and hanging out with them, they're pretty fun. Might take a longer break from it here soon and finish the game at a later date like I did with Persona 5-Great games but man is there a lot of content.

- Crazy Ex Girlfriend (TV) - Getting into the endgame now, the meta jokes are pretty fun and I appreciate the themes of self-reflection and making amends that this season has going not only for Rebecca but for the other characters as well. Songs still slap as well.

Listening to: Sway Cover and Eat Your Young Cover by Reinaeiry, Fast Car by Tracy Chapman, 10 Things I Hate About You by Leah Kate, That's What I Want by Lil Nas X, I Wish and Gravel to Tempo by Hayley Kiyoko, What'll It Be and You Do/Don't Want To Be Crazy from Crazy Ex Girlfriend, Rule #4 by Fish Inside a BirdCage, and This Will Be (An Everlasting Love) by Natalie Cole.

#weekly roundup #my post

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networkluvs · 3 years ago

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word count: 1.8k

warnings: none! :)

“Finally, everyone’s here!” Jeonghan smiled widely as he opened the door, letting you, Wonwoo, and Misty into his apartment. He wore a festive antler headband with a Santa outfit, the same outfit as Wonwoo’s which you found quite humorous. However, when you walked further into the apartment, everyone was wearing a Santa outfit.

Misty pouted and whined looking at the array of Santas in front of them, “And no one told me?”

You laughed before setting down the gifts you and Misty brought underneath the Christmas tree. You couldn’t help but notice one gift that was wrapped in the shape of a guitar case. “No way,” you thought to yourself, “Jihoon couldn’t have gotten me the guitar, right?”

“Good news!” Mingyu shouted, distracting your train of thought. He came out of the kitchen in a red apron tied around his Santa costume with a soup ladle in hand, “Sooyoung's Soup Extravaganza isn’t a failure! Let’s eat then open gifts okay?”

---

“Alrighty! Who should go first?” Seokmin said as everyone spread their seating around the living room. Surprisingly, Soonyoung’s soup was indeed not bad, it was quite delicious in fact. You could see the beaming smile on Soonyoung’s face after everyone complimented his good job with the meal prep. You sat on the floor next to Misty, adjusting the festive Santa hat Soonyoung gave to you after calling his chicken noodle soup “The Best Chicken Noodle Soup you’ve ever had.”

Seungcheol left his seat on the couch to grab his gift, later handing it to Joshua, “I know how much you miss your family and that this isn’t the ideal situation to spend the holidays, but Merry Christmas, Shua. I hope you had fun this month regardless.”

“Cheol…” Joshua nearly teared up, opening the small red envelope and staring at the contents within. A plane ticket to Los Angeles lied in front of him, “You didn’t have to…”

“Jeonghan and I pitched in,” He explained more, “It’s set for the summer so when you’re done with graduate school, you can visit before residency.”

There wasn’t a single dry eye in the room when Joshua stood up to engulf both his roommates into a hug. You were wiping the tears that streamed down your face with your sleeve when Joshua said while chuckling, “Alright! Enough crying, I’ll give my present now!”

Joshua ran under the tree to give Chan his gift and judging from the wrapping shape itself, it seemed like Chan would be receiving a vacuum cleaner. But as Chan unwrapped the contents of the present, it turned out that he received a new pair of sneakers instead. “Of course Joshua would pull something like this.” You thought to yourself as you examined the changed reaction on Chan’s face.

“Woah! Joshua, did you order these from America? They don’t sell these in Korea.” Chan asked in awe, holding up the pair of clean blue and white shoes for everyone to see.

Joshua grinned while patting the younger on the back, “Yeah! I had a friend visit from America recently and he delivered these for me.”

“Thank you so much, I love them!” Chan said while taking off his slippers to do a few dance moves in his new shoes.

“Hey! Don’t crease them!”

Laughter erupted in the friend group as Chan sang a few lines of Smooth Criminal by Michael Jackson while doing his signature moves. In moments like these, where only happiness could be found in the room, you knew for sure you had found your place in life. You were destined to be a part of this large, family-like friend group, and you were glad to meet them all in this precious life.

---

Shortly after Jihoon opened his gift from Minghao, which was a miniature piano that could connect to his laptop to produce songs, Jihoon stood up from his seat on the floor. He grabbed the gift that you knew belonged to you from under the tree, later handing the large present towards you while saying, “Merry Christmas, Y/N.”

You grinned slightly as you ripped the wrapping paper off the present, the tears showcasing the shiny black guitar case underneath. As you looked up at Jihoon, you could see that he was quite flustered at all the comments being made about your gift.

“As expected from our Jihoon!” Jeonghan said while patting his younger friend on the back.

“No way! You got her the guitar she’s been wanting?” Vernon exclaimed.

When you opened the case, the all-black, six-stringed electric guitar that you’ve been dreaming of for months was laid perfectly inside the case. You noticed that in one of the mesh pockets inside the case, a decorative envelope with your name written on it was neatly placed. Jihoon quickly mentioned, almost as if he knew what you were thinking at that moment, “There’s a letter inside, you can read that later tonight.”

The room filled with oohs and awes right after, causing both yours and Jihoon’s faces to burn up. You gathered the courage to look up at the boy in front of you, engulfing him in a hug while softly speaking, “Thank you, Jihoon.”

“Anything for you, Y/N.”

---

Everyone was messing around with their gifts, getting ready to watch movies to end the night when you excused yourself to the balcony to read Jihoon’s letter. Impatience ran through your veins as you zipped your puffy coat, placing the letter neatly into your pocket as you opened up the balcony. Surprisingly, it wasn’t too cold outside. It was cloudy for sure, the sky was illuminating different hues of grey, but somehow it was still bright outside, making it legible to read the letter.

You grabbed the envelope from your coat pocket, opening it from its fold while grabbing the letter inside. A smile appeared on your face as you saw the familiar writing on top of the paper. You began to read the letter in your head.

---

Dear Y/N,

Were you surprised?

You’ve been eyeing this guitar for so long! Even before you decided to come work at the music store, I remember seeing this cute girl come in every Saturday to stare at the black electric guitar and thinking “I hope she doesn’t know how to play… maybe I could give her lessons!” You could not imagine the disappointment I felt when you started shredding one of the electrics the next week.

Don’t even get me started on how much I admire your advocation for music education… Seeing you teach the beginners’ lessons and seeing the kids’ bright smiles after, knowing that someone out there supports their passion for learning an instrument is so special. And you know what? I completely understand how they feel because you’ve shown the same support to me. I've never been able to talk about my interest in music with someone, or even to talk to someone who has the same dreams of becoming a music producer comfortably, but with you? The world is a blank sheet of music, and every time we talk about our hopes and dreams for the future, a bar full of the sweetest melodies is added.

I can't say I didn't see it coming, but it did catch me a bit off guard when I realized how much I cared for you in ways that a lover would. I find you so admirable. I mean, really, what's there not to like? Your loyalty to friends is astonishing, the way you ramble about life to me during break time (hand movements included! I love it when you describe a crazy encounter with your hands), your kindness to others, how smart and bright you are, not to mention you’re so so pretty. I admit. I've caught myself staring at you more times than I've changed guitar strings.

Y/N, you’re bound to do great things in this world, I just know it. Whenever you feel like a failure, or that you’re not good enough, I hope you’ll remember my sincere words.

I love you, Y/N. I’m most definitely truly, madly, deeply, enamored by you. I adore you.

With love, your Jihoon.

—

Tears were falling from your face, landing directly on the paper after you finished reading Jihoon’s letter. After placing the letter back into its respective envelope and into your pocket, you rested your head on top of your arms while leaning on the balcony’s railing, softly mumbling to yourself, “This guy has no idea what he does to me.”

Just then, you felt a hand softly stroking your hair, causing you to jump back to reality. When you looked up at who the hand belonged to, you were appalled to see the person you were thinking of. Although your vision was semi-blurry from the tears, you could make out that the figure in front of you was Jihoon

“Jihoon-”

“Y/N,” He interrupted you, “You know how I told you I wasn’t ready for… us yet.”

You nodded slightly while playing with your thumbs with anxiety. Jihoon exhaled shortly after, causing a puff of white vapor to escape from his pink lips, “Well, the reason I wasn’t ready was that I wanted to wait for this day.”

“R-Really?”

He nodded, “I wanted you to receive your last gift before I asked you out. I know how much it means to you… to be able to have the guitar of your dreams.”

Although your heart was pounding out of your chest, somehow Jihoon’s words made the rhythms worse. Before you could say anything in response, he cut you off once again, “But now that it’s over with,” he exhaled shakily, “I’ve been wanting to ask you this since the day you started shredding on the guitars at work. Y/N, Will you do me the honors of letting me be your boyfriend?”

All you could do in response was cup Jihoon’s soft cheeks, smashing your lips into his shortly after.

What the books say about a true love's kiss wasn’t real. He didn’t taste like bitter coffee and you didn’t feel fireworks erupt in your stomach. Jihoon did, however, taste of sweet hot chocolate with hints of cooling peppermint, and your stomach felt warm like a fireplace. Jihoon’s hands found their way around your waist, pulling you closer to him just like the time underneath the mistletoe. Deepening the kiss further, you felt the slight smile escape from his lips as he moved in sync with yours.

As you parted away from the kiss, keeping your foreheads together, you noticed that Jihoon’s eyes were still closed from being too embarrassed to look at you after the kiss. You softly giggled before Jihoon asked, finally opening his eyes to meet yours, “So… was that a yes?”

“It most definitely was, Jihoon. I would love to be your girlfriend.”

“Great,” He managed to get out before pulling you in for one more kiss, “Because I want to do that again.”

---

adore you | all I want for christmas is you

synopsis: in which your lonely friend group tries to get into the christmas spirit by holding a secret santa party. to your surprise however, your special secret santa jihoon likes to give you gifts everyday until christmas.

a/n: words cannot describe how much I enjoyed writing this series and hearing so much feedback from you all throughout the journey, and it saddens me so much to say that this series has found its last chapter! thank you all so much for all the support, before I can say anything further without being repetitive I think I'll just let Vernon say what I want to say :)

taglist: @wuriwoori @solarbxby @sansbyeol @xfirebenderx @cloudyhaos @iho6hi @http-mewchuu @cheolsblackgf @baesgyus @erens-piss-cleaner @lynniac @leech4ns @imaginegot7bangtan @sakura-uji @timelessruins @currently-existing @lebritneeey @fav9yu @sunniesoobin @atomoonchild @anjiuniverse @coookiemonster @vanillxangxl @coupsiekkuma @kamikokii @odetoyeonjun @pengu-hours @makiswrld @cathartichaoss @1004jcm

couldn't tag: @bbarneybarnes @wooziwooziwoozioioioi @yeeeeezly @mulletdinos @svtster

previous | masterlist | next

---

bonus!

#caratwritersclub #seventeen #seventeen scenarios #seventeen social media au #seventeen smau #svt smau #svt social media au #seventeen fic #seventeen crack #jihoon fic #woozi fic #adore you au #jihoon smau #woozi smau #woozi social media au #jihoon social media au #jihoon x femreader #woozi x femreader

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luci-in-trenchcoats · 4 years ago

Text

If I Fell For You (Part 8) - Good Days, Bad Days

Summary: The reader has a special birthday surprise for Jensen and starts to get to know Jared more. When Jensen returns home from Toronto for good though, he and the reader have their first big fight and make more moves in their relationship...

Masterlist

Pairing: Jensen x nanny!reader

Word Count: 5,300ish

Warnings: language, angst, fighting, smut

A/N: Enjoy!

________

Thursday Night

“So how do you want me?” asked Jensen, leaning against his closet door in nothing but his boxer briefs.

“Oh well that’s a dangerous question,” you laughed. “Jeans are fine for where I’m taking you.”

“Alright,” he said. He ducked into the closet and returned wearing only a pair of dark jeans, smirking at you with his hands behind his back.

“Being a little shit?” you asked.

“One of my best qualities,” he said. You hummed and went past him into the closet. “So what should I be wearing on this date out?”

“I’m kinda a sucker for you a henley and flannel. Not to let that go to your head at all,” you said.

“Oh you should never watch Supernatural then,” he chuckled, grabbing a long sleeve white henley off the hanger and pulling it on.

“I did sort of start watching it,” you said. “You look like a little baby that hadn’t hit puberty yet.”

“I got better with age, sweetheart,” he said, flashing you a wink.

“Oh yes you did,” you said. “I like it. It’s kinda scary but not too bad if you watch during the day.”

“It gets less scary pretty fast,” he said, putting on his red and gray flannel. “I all set?”

“You look very pretty,” you said, walking out with him on your tail. “So does the show end happy? Like they live? It’s got this angsty feel to it where I feel like something bad is gonna happen.”

“Do you want me to spoil it?”

“Dean doesn’t like die, right,” you said. He made a face and you frowned. “No. Why? He doesn’t deserve that.”

“Eh, calm yourself woman. Things could happen in the future...he might not have to die...or he might come back and I really shouldn’t be discussing these things.”

“You’d do more?” you asked.

“Oh for sure. On a streaming network where we get to do all the shit we couldn’t on cable. Get some fresh eyes in on the writing or maybe we’d even take a crack at it. It’s not really an if, more of a when so don’t go worrying about Dean. I like my new friends at work and everybody’s great but I miss Jared and my old ones. I’m definitely working with them again.”

“That’s great! Now come on, move that tush. We have reservations.”

“Reservations. Fancy,” he said. He put on a pair of socks and shoved his wallet in his pocket, following you out to the hall when you spun around.

“Oh yeah,” you smirked. “You may also have a little birthday surprise waiting for your downstairs so eyes shut mister.”

“You’re devious. I like that. I like that a lot. We should explore that later in bed.”

“Tempting. I’ll have to take you up on that,” you said. “Eyes shut.”

You held his hand and he shut his eyes, going down the hall with you. You went slowly down the steps, Jensen’s arm around you the whole time. You grinned and walked him over to the family room before leaving him in place.

“Open,” you said. He blinked open his eyes, quickly landing them on a grinning Jared standing there.

“How the hell are you here?” said Jensen, Jared giving him a big hug he quickly returned. “Shit I missed you man.”

“Me too. But it’s someone’s birthday this week and I don’t have work tomorrow so I caught a flight up this afternoon. Y/N thought I’d make a good present.”

“Fucking awesome present,” he said, still grinning ear to ear.

“You doing okay?” asked Jared, Jensen nodding. He gave him another hug and you smiled. “So how’s that crush on the nanny working out?”

“Shut up,” said Jensen, smirking as he pulled you into his side. “Jared. I know you guys met already but Y/N is your soon to be best friend just as an fyi.”

“Oh we’ve already started chatting,” you said, Jared chuckling. “He’s really sweet. I had to legit stop him from jumping on a plane that second when I texted him he thought something was wrong.”

“I think between the two of us we can keep an eye on him,” said Jared. “So you mind if I crash your date?”

“Not at all,” you said. “I’m taking both you boys out. My treat.”

“I’ll be back in a minute,” said Jensen two hours later while he excused himself to the bathroom. Jared finished off the last of his beer and smiled as he leaned back in his corner of the booth.

“You know I’m totally covering this right,” he said.

“Dutch?” you asked.

“I’ll take the alcohol, you take the food.”

“That I can agree to,” you said, glancing over the dessert menu. “I’m really happy you were able to come up to hang out. I know you got your own family and everything and this was last minute.”

“He’s my family too,” he said. “I’d do anything for him. Literally. Don’t ever hesitate to call me, no matter when or where. I’ll be there for him like he’s always been for me.”

“I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a smile on his face like that before.”

“I have. You just didn’t notice that night at the bonfire.” You shrugged and he cocked his head. “How long you two been dating?”

“A month or so,” you said.

“You like him?”

“He’s alright,” you said, smiling before you took a sip from your glass.

“Thanks for taking care of him lately.”

“Don’t need to thank me for that,” you said, sliding the dessert menu over to him.

“Yeah but I’m still going to,” he said. “I meant what I said earlier. Between the two of us he’ll be okay again.”

“He’s never gonna be the same. He’ll be happy and it won’t hurt as much. But it’ll come back and hit him time to time.”

“There’s a reason he’s my best friend and it’s not just because we worked together for so long. He’s always been there for me and I’ll be there for him. I feel better about him being up here when he’s got someone else watching his back.”

“You had the hard job, not me,” you said.

“He’s come a long way. Doesn’t mean this is a cakewalk though I’m sure.”

“No, you’re right about that,” you said as you spotted Jensen returning.

“You guys order dessert yet?” he asked, sliding in beside you.

“Why doesn’t the birthday boy pick,” teased Jared, handing the menu over to him. “You guys ought to come home for a weekend when you get a chance.”

“It’s kinda a long way to go with the kids for just a few days,” said Jensen. “But we’ll be home soon. Hopefully.”

“I can get you a gig on Walker anytime you want it dude, just ask.”

“Maybe. I kinda want to get with the guys and maybe work on that Supernatural stuff. I need good stuff to look forward to, you know?”

“I do,” said Jared. “As long as you come home eventually I’ll learn to live with just using your jet skis in the meantime.”

“See what I’ve been dealing with for over a decade?” asked Jensen.

“Oh yes. He’s horrible,” you teased. “We really shouldn’t have him sleepover then, should we?”

“You’re staying at the house?” asked Jensen with a grin.

“Duh. I didn’t just fly a thousand miles to not see you dude. I’m here all weekend. Let’s have some fun.”

“Boys I’m heading to bed,” you said around two in the morning.

“Yeah we ought to go to bed ourselves,” said Jared.

“I’ll grab you some sheets and stuff,” said Jensen. You waved goodnight to Jared, heading down the hall towards your room when Jensen wrapped an arm around your waist. “I thought you were gonna sleep with me from now on.”

“I am. Want to check something real quick.”

“Hurry back,” he said. He kissed your temple and ducked into his room, leaving you in the hall. You went down to your own and checked your email, smirking when you saw what you were looking for. A rattling of fingers on the door made you glance up, Jensen smiling there. “Texting your other boyfriend?”

“No, I sort of...submitted one of my stories to a publisher. They’ve been talking to me this week and said they’d get back to me today on if they wanted to move forward. They want to do a five book deal. I already have the stories done and mostly drawn anyways. They gave me an offer just now.”

“That’s awesome,” he said. “Seriously. We’re gonna celebrate tomorrow for sure.”

“It’s no big deal,” you said.

“It really is,” he said. He picked you up and grinned, carrying you back to his room. “I’m proud of you.”

“They’re stupid stories,” you said.

“I love those stupid stories,” he said, setting you on the bed. “The kids do too.”

“You’re just saying that cause you’re supposed to say that.” You set your phone on the nightstand and crawled under the covers, Jensen pulling you into his chest when het got underneath.

“My children think their mom is really okay now. They don’t get sad anymore and they ask questions about her again and I don’t want to cry every time I talk about her because your story reminded me that the wolf dad can be happy again for him too. That’s really fucking important to me right now in life.”

“Okay Papa Wolf,” you said. You grinned and he returned it. “Night Jensen.”

“Goodnight sweetheart.”

Two Months Later

“Hey Jared,” you said as you answered your phone. “What’s up?”

“Jensen at work?”

“Yeah. Late night again,” you said. “He’s answering texts between breaks I think.”

“Cool,” he said.

“You need something?” you asked.

“No, no. I’m good,” he said. “Thanks. I’ll catch you later.”

“You doing okay?” you asked.

“Yeah. Just want to talk to him for a minute,” he said. He was a little quiet and you sat down on the couch.

“You want to talk to me?” you asked.

“That’s okay.”

“Jared...Jensen and I are starting to get serious which means we’re gonna be together a lot considering how you two can’t go more than a day without talking. We can be good friends too,” you said. He was quiet and you hoped you hadn’t sounded too corny.

“I uh, I have bad days sometimes. Really normal days can be bad days in my head. It’s kinda how I was built I guess,” he said.

“Nothing wrong with that,” you said. “Today a bad day?”

“Kinda. Nothing happened. I had a normal day at work and home. I’m just off. He um...Jensen makes me feel better as lame as that sounds. Just talking for a few minutes helps my head get on track that somebody really does care.”

“He’s very good like that,” you said. “I know you mean the world to him. You’re his brother. It’s not lame that he makes you feel better. You make him feel better too. I owe you a lot for taking care of him after the accident.”

“I much prefer when I’m the one freaking out and he takes care of me,” chuckled Jared. “You guys coming home soon?”

“He’s got a few weeks left of filming but I might head down a little earlier, try to get the house sorted out down there with the kids and stuff,” you said. “He’s literally counting down the days.”

“He really likes working on the show though I thought.”

“Oh he does but he’s got a big circle on the calendar for the fifthteenth called Jared day. I think your boy is planning something fun.”

“I’m looking forward to it,” he said. “You mind if I ask a personal question?”

“Shoot, buddy,” you said, stretching in your seat.

“Do you love him?” he asked.

“Going full throttle out of the gate I see,” you said.

“I know. I know how he talks about you though. There’s no...casual relationship with him.”

“Well I haven’t said it to him yet and he hasn’t said it to me so...maybe another time I’ll be able to answer that question.”

“It’s been almost four months. You get to spend more time together than most couples starting out. I’d think you know by now,” he said.

“I do. But he deserves to hear it before anyone else,” you said.

“So you love him.”

“Most things I love have a habit of going away,” you said.

“He won’t,” he said. “You do more than make him happy, Y/N. A lot more.”

“I just wish he didn’t hurt.”

“He hurts a lot less lately. Some of that’s time and some of it’s you. Enjoy being one of his best friends. He doesn’t let that many people in that close.”

“I know. We were supposed to be talking about you I thought.”

“Eh, sometimes I just need the talk. Thanks. I got somebody else I can call now too.”

“It’s never a problem,” you said.

“It’s getting late there. I’ll let you go. Thanks for talking, really. I feel better.”

“Anytime Jared.”

“You too, Y/N.”

Three Weeks Later

“Doug you’re a lifesaver,” you said as finished washing Jensen’s truck in the driveway back home in Austin. He smiled as he wiped off his hands and gave Arrow a wave goodbye.

“I owed you for that 3am incident,” he said. “You got easy kids. Mine are vultures.”

“Yes, yes they are,” you laughed. He gave you a kiss on the check and smiled as he headed back for his car, another one coming down the open driveway. “Later Doug.”

“Later,” he said. Jensen exited the back of the car along with his backpack and a suitcase, the car pulling out, Doug following after.

“Hey. How was the flight?” you asked.

“Who was that?” he asked, dropping his bags on the pavement.

“Oh that’s just Doug. He’s a nanny. I needed an extra set of hands today watching the kids trying to finish up these chores before you got home and it was perfect timing,” you said. You smirked and walked over to kiss him, Jensen taking a step back. “Something wrong?”

“You kissed him.”

“No. I didn’t. He kissed my cheek,” you said. Jensen narrowed his eyes and you scoffed, wiping the sweat off your forehead. “Seriously? He’s my friend.”

“That kisses you.”

“He’s affectionate,” you said. “Also he’s kinda married so you can tone it down with the judgemental looks.”

“Oh. I’m sorry. You’re right. You should be able to kiss whoever you want despite being in a relationship,” he said. He grabbed his bags and brushed past you inside. You grumbled and went after him, finding him upstairs in his room. “What?”

“What stick is up your ass today? I haven’t seen you in almost three weeks. None of us have and you’re in a bad mood.”

“I was perfectly happy until I saw you kissing somebody else.”

“I wasn’t kissing him!”

“It didn’t look like that from my perspective.”

“Jensen.”

“Is this just a little game to you? You get bored of the older guy with kids finally?” he asked, crossing his arms. “Or maybe you just got caught finally.”

“I don’t cheat,” you said, getting in his face. “He kissed my cheek. I’ll call him to come back and explain this situation right now but I apparently you just think I’m a cheater.”

“Well maybe you are. Geez, we’ve been together over four months and no real sex yet? Cause that’s not sending red flags.”

“Because you weren’t fucking ready!” you shouted. “I’m not your wife and I’m never gonna be her. Don’t be mad at me for it.”

“No that’s for sure,” he said.

“The kids are in the front yard. Don’t expect me back today,” you said. You stormed downstairs and into your room, shoving some things in a bag before taking your purse and getting behind the wheel of your car.

You were seeing red by the time you were out of the suburbs. You slammed your hand against the wheel and shouted.

“You fucking asshole,” you said. You sniffled and drove for a bit before finally pulling off. You drove down a long road, rolling your eyes when of course you passed by his brewery. You’d never been but he’d told you about it more than once. You kept going down the road, eventually finding a park to pull into. You shut off the car and shut your eyes, a knock on the window making you jump. You put down your window when you saw a cop there and did your best to wipe off your face.

“You’re double parked,” he said.

“What?”

“You’re parked on the line,” he said.

“Sorry,” you said.

“Bad day?” he asked.

“Something like that,” you said. You could feel snot threatening to drip down your nose, the officer reaching into a pocket and handing you a tissue. “Thanks.”

“Best not to drive when you’re upset,” he said.

“Yeah. I’m just gonna sit here for a little while,” you said with a nod.

“Probably not a great idea to sit in a car next a playground,” he said. “The mom’s are kinda intense around here.”

“Of course they are,” you said, squeezing your eyes shut.

“Why don’t you move your car and you can join me on my patrol,” he said. “It’s only a short walk. Fresh air might do you good.”

“Last time I talked to another man my boyfriend sorta freaked out on me so maybe not a good idea,” you said. You blew your nose and realized what you’d said, the officer staring down. “I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Why don’t we take that walk so I can find out what you did mean.”

Two minutes later you were walking next to the cop. He had a baseball cap on and was in all black. You weren’t sure how he wasn’t boiling considering it was May in Austin.

“This boyfriend got a name?”

“You gonna run his name or something?” you asked.

“Do I need to?” he asked. You shook your head and he smiled. “He the jealous type? He get angry over you talking to other men?”

“It’s complicated.”

“If it doesn’t get uncomplicated I might have to pay this boyfriend a visit you understand.”

“His wife died last June.”

“Okay. I understand part of the complicated thing now.”

“Why’s he gotta be a dick? Called me a cheater,” you said. You crossed your arms and the cop chuckled. “Sorry.”

“As long as you don’t call me a dick we don’t got a problem. Did you cheat on him?”

“No. He...he works away and he just got home today and my guy friend was over helping me with watching my boyfriends kids while I did some chores and my guy friend is like, a really affectionate guy and he kissed my cheek as my boyfriend was coming in and my boyfriend thinks I was kissing him back and been cheating on him for the past three weeks.”

“Why don’t you just call the guy friend over to explain?”

“He got so pissed so fast and accused me of cheating. I’ve been dating him for nearly five months and he brings up the fact we haven’t had sex yet like that even matters when I’ve been holding back for him and he just blows up on me for fucking nothing,” you said.

“You’re both stubborn people, aren’t ya,” he said.

“Maybe,” you grumbled.

“Maybe this guy is scared and looking for a way out of the relationship. Or maybe he thinks you want out. You mentioned kids. That’s not easy.”

“He’s also...older. There’s an age gap. I was the nanny and now I’m the girlfriend nanny. He’s also kinda...famous,” you said.

“So there’s a lot of stress in this relationship then.”

“No,” you said, dropping your arms to your sides. “It’s not like that.”

“Maybe the dumb bastard just got scared of losing someone again,” he said. “Just a theory.”

“I wish he wasn’t scared,” you said. “I don’t know how to make him not afraid.”

“You ever think maybe he said that because you’re getting in there pretty good now and he’s getting real scared that losing you might hurt just as bad as this wife did.”

“He’s an idiot. But he’s my idiot,” you said.

“Talk to him. Get an apology and try to forgive him.”

“I already forgive him. I know him. He was scared and I got mad instead of realizing after so many weeks apart all he needed was a freaking hug.”

“Then go home and give him a hug,” he said.

“Thanks,” you said with a nod. “I must have looked like a hot mess or something.”

“Oh for sure,” he chuckled. You smiled and he laughed. “That looks better.”

“Jensen probably left like five messages on my phone by now,” you said. The cop you were with paused and smiled. “What?”

“A kinda famous Jensen. There’s really only one of those in town,” he said.

“Oh. Yeah. Please don’t share that he’s dating. He really wants to keep things private for a lot of reasons right now,” you said.

“He’s my buddy.”

“Your buddy?”

“We went to school together,” he said. “In tenth grade he went for a slide on second base, ripped his pants right down the middle. His hanes bright blue covered ass still managed to get around to home base.”

“He split his pants in a baseball game?” you smiled.

“I know quite a few of his dirty secrets,” he said. “I don’t really know that whole acting thing but him I know and that must make you Y/N. You ever in trouble kid, ever just got a bad feeling and want a cop to come by, give me a call.”

“Thanks,” you said as you took his card. “You really think he’s a dumb bastard?”

“Oh knowing it’s him, 100%. Give him a break. We like him when he smiles,” he said.

“I’m gonna give him a call,” you said. “We should hang out sometime now that Jensen has a break.”

“Definitely. I gotta finish my patrol,” he said. “Take care Y/N.”

“Bye,” you said as you headed back towards your car. You pulled out your phone and saw seven missed calls and twelve unread texts. You tapped the screen and put the phone up to your ear, only ringing for a second.

“I’m sorry,” said Jensen.

“Me too.”

“I’m the one that...shit I’m so sorry, Y/N. I don’t know what happened.”

“You missed me and you were scared and seeing Doug probably hurt like a bitch,” you said.

“I’m so sorry. I don’t want to be the stupid jealous boyfriend.”

“I’m not too far from your brewery if you want to meet there. Get a beer. Blow this over,” you said.

“I’m sorry.”

“I forgive you. Stop apologizing. I want to give you a hug,” you said.

“I’ll meet you there in thirty minutes?” he asked.

“I’ll see you soon honey.”

“Hi,” said Jensen as you sat at a quiet table in the back, sipping on a beer and eating a piece of pizza. You smiled and stood up, giving him a hug. He tucked his head down and sighed. “I’m sorry.”

“Hey we survived our first big fight as a couple,” you said. “That deserves beer and pizza.”

He sat down next to you, forcing a smile on his face. You reached over and cupped his cheek, Jensen turning into it.

“Please forgive yourself,” you said.

“I don’t really want to,” he said.

“You called me a cheater. I get what I want today and that’s for you to forgive yourself.”

“I don’t know why I said that.”

“Jensen,” you said, stroking his cheek. “I love you.”

He stared at you, a different look in his eyes, the tiniest sliver of a smile peeking through. You inched closer and slid your hand around to the back of his neck, pulling him into a kiss. He felt softer than usual, lips barely moving against yours.

“I love you,” he said. He wrapped his arms around you and grinned. “I have loved you for a very long time.” You kissed him again, Jensen returning it.

He left his arm around your back, smirking when you did the same to him.

“Can we forget about earlier?” you asked. He nodded and rested his head on your shoulder.

“One last I’m sorry though,” he said.

“Just don’t call me that again and we’re all good, Jens,” you said. “Now eat some of this pizza so I don’t feel like a glutton.”

“I don’t have to slip into a superhero costume any more so dad bod here I come,” he chuckled.

“Does that mean Solider Boy meets some untimely end?”

“No spoilers,” he said. “But I don’t think I’ll be going back to that show. At least as often. I know I want to direct an episode of walker in the fall. I talked to Jared about it actually so that’ll be fun. I might do a duck and run guest appearance on it. I’ll line up something for next year but I want to be home for awhile, do work around here.”

“I know quite a few people who would be more than okay with that,” you said.

“Don’t make any plans for Saturday,” he smirked.

“I thought you were having your Jared day tomorrow.”

“Oh we are. Gen invited you and the kids over. She’d like to get to know you. You’ll love her,” he said.

“So what’s Saturday then?” you asked.

“I’d like to take you and the kids out on the boat. We haven’t been since before the accident. Maybe we can go out for dinner and put up the tent in the backyard, have a sleepover out there with the kids.”

“That sounds fun.”

“And...I’d like to maybe next week take you out for the day, just us, maybe...spend the night somewhere,” he said.

“Like a hotel?” you asked.

“Yeah. Or the kids can have a sleepover at Jared’s. Maybe.” He glanced down and you moved your arm from his back, reaching behind yourself to hold his hand. Green eyes flickered over to yours and you smiled. “I’m-”

“You know if you keep apologizing about earlier I’m not going to have sex with you,” you said. “That’s just facts.”

“Okay,” he chuckled. “No more apologies. Aside from...I really am sorry about what I said. I’m the one that’s been holding back and not once have you asked for more.”

“We said we’d take it slow and that’s okay,” you said. He squeezed your hand and nodded. “I don’t like you because you’re attractive or your hair is great or your arms are massive. Having fun with you is fun but that’s not why I’m here.”

“I don’t know if I can give you things you want,” he said.

“Just give me you and that’s good with me,” you said.

“Okay,” he said quietly. You scooted closer to him, Jensen tucking a stray hair behind your ear. “Let’s do it now.”

“Uh, what?” you said, taking a sip from your beer.

“The kids aren’t home and I don’t want to wait and-”

“You don’t have to ask me twice,” you said, knocking back your beer and flipping the cardboard down over your pizza. He stared and you burped, picking up the box. “There’s like six slices left and this is too good to waste, even for sex.”

“You have literally never been more attractive than in this moment,” he said.

“I could be.”

“I’ll see you at the house in twenty?”

“Yes you will Ackles.”

Forty minutes later you hand was slapping against his headboard, legs squeezed so tight around his waist you were shocked he wasn’t complaining. You moaned loudly as he teased your clit and he delivered one more hard thrust. He grunted as you gripped his shoulder with your other hand.

“Jensen,” you breathed out. “I’m right there. Please, please, please…”

You arched your back when he thrust hard, fingers rubbing just a bit rougher and you came all around him, every muscle tensed and riding out that high, long, deep, absolutely perfect orgasm. Jensen thrust a few more times before he groaned and rested his head on your shoulder, big panting breaths fanning over your skin.

He was sweaty but pulled out slowly, plopping down on the bed beside you, hand resting on his chest.

“I don’t know about you but that was good,” he said. “Damn good.”

You giggled between breaths, nodding your head slightly. You tilted it over towards his, Jensen already staring at you with soft hooded green eyes.

“Definitely damn good,” you breathed. His lips tugged up into a smile, warm and gentle, his head inching closer to you. You sat up and leaned down to kiss him, Jensen breaking off when he needed air. You trailed a finger down his chest before climbing out of bed and excusing yourself to the bathroom. After you cleaned up you found Jensen chucking the condom in the trash and wiping himself off quickly.

“Come here you,” he said. He picked you up bridal style and carried you back to the bed, laying you down carefully. “I’m big on after sex cuddling just so you know.”

“I find that to be a very attractive quality,” you said as he lay down. He reached down to the end of the bed and grabbed the bunched up blanket, pulling it over the two of you. His arm slid under your head and he pulled you into his side, encouraging you to use him as a pillow. “You’re warm.”

“So are you,” he said. He kissed your temple and let out a deep breath. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“I never thought I’d be able to do that ever again. Let alone not feel bad about doing it,” he said.

“You okay?”

“I’m great,” he said. “Really. I know Dee would have been telling me to not worry so I didn’t. I don’t...I feel like I can talk about her again, you know?”

“You used to call her your wife a lot. Recently you’ve been saying her name more. I think you really are healing, Jensen.”

“I knew the second you left earlier I messed up. I dropped the kids off at Jared’s and then I wound up at the cemetery. I saw these purple flowers there. It’s kinda a different flower but they were her favorite. I’ve only ever told one other person those were her favorites,” he said. You traced your finger over his pec and rested your palm flat on his chest. “Why’d you put flowers there?”

“Why wouldn’t I Jensen?”

“That’s how I knew I can stop being so scared when it comes to you. Purple fucking flowers. You’re just…”

“I love you too,” you said, giving his whole body a squeeze. He returned it, holding you for a long time, neither one of you saying a word. It wasn’t until you noticed the light starting to change in the room that you both moved.

“Y/N,” said Jensen when you sat upright. You looked over your shoulder, a smile on his face. “Do you want to stay upstairs with me from now on instead of your room? It’s okay if-”

“I’d love to,” you said. “To be honest, I slept up here the other night.”

“You did?” he asked as you nodded.

“I missed you.”

“Me too,” he said.

“I know three little faces that really missed you too,” you said. He smiled and nodded. “Let’s go get the rascals.”

______

A/N: Read Part 9 here!

#supernatural #spn #jensen ackles au #Jensen x reader #Jensen Ackles #rpf #Jensen series #rpf series #jensen ackles x reader #spn fanfic #Jensen Ackles fanfic #supernatural fanfic

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monsterenergysimp · 4 years ago

Text

Permanence

corpse husband x fem!reader

summary: you meet corpse on a stream and you’re surprised when he reaches out to you

warnings: cursing, mentions of tattooing

word count: 1.9k

notes: This is proof read but could have missed some stuff. This is my first corpse fic and my first time writing fanfic since I posted that super cringey book on wattpad when I was like 12 or something. I’d appreciate feed back so please reach out to me :)

main blog @itsmysleepover

read part 2 here!

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

You were cleaning up your station so you can get home and stream. You loved your day job as a tattoo artist but you also really enjoyed streaming. It started as a way to promote yourself as an artist and the shop you worked at but it eventually became a really fun way to destress at the end of the week (or day if you were really itching to stream). “Hey Y/N was that your last client?” your boss, KC, asked as she walked to the front of the shop and put new flash drawings on the walls.

“Yes ma’am!” You said back excitedly. You finished cleaning your station and tossed your black gloves in the trash. “And you can’t trick me into staying and taking walk-ins,” you joked with her. She rolled her eyes and walked back into her office “It was one time,” she said as you slid on your jacket. As you walked out your phone buzzed in your pocket and you checked to see who had texted you. It was a message from Sean asking if you were free to play Among Us with him and some other streamers. You replied that you were on your way home right now and totally down. You were excited to see who was playing this time around since their Among Us streams are super entertaining and have gotten really popular.

On your way back you tweeted and posted to your Instagram story that you’d be streaming soon and set up all your stuff once you made it home. After a few minutes, you had a couple of thousand people watching. You entered the discord chat and Sean spoke up. “Everyone this is Y/N she’s sensitive so be gentle.”

“It’s nice to finally meet you guys and I’m not gentle, I'm ruthless,” You say into your mic and notice the chat calling you a liar. Everyone was in the lobby waiting for the game to start. “You sound way too sweet to be ruthless,” Corpse said. The countdown started and you were imposter with Charlie.

“This should be fun,” you told the stream. Yout tried playing strategically but after such a long shift your brain was mush. You saw Poki in nav and killed her then vented into shields. Not long after the body was reported and you were sure you were going to get voted out or at least sussed.

“Where was the body?” Felix asked. “Nav and I didn’t see anyone near there so whoever is imposter must have vented,” Corpse responded. Felix spoke up again. “I think I saw Y/N walk that way and I haven’t seen her since.”

Shit, shit, shit shit. “I’m in shield right now so-” you said trying to defend yourself but Charlie spoke up. “I was doing tasks with her earlier and I saw her walk into shields so she’s safe but I’m still not sure about Rae.” Everyone discussed a bit more and some people, including Corpse, voted for you but Rae got the majority vote and was ejected. You released your breath and kept playing being extra careful.

“Okay, guys that was super close. Corpse knows and is out to get me,” you said to the chat. You were eventually voted off but one round later victory was written across your screen with your ghost and Charlie’s avatar. “Good game guys,” Corpse said.

“I told you guys I was ruthless!”

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

You sat at your station doing nothing because a client had canceled a four-hour session. You were listening to music and sketching some stuff but you were bored out of your mind and you didn’t want to leave in case you got a walk-in. The music got quiet as you received a twitter notification saying someone had messaged you. You reached for your phone and saw you had gotten a dm from Corpse.

C: hey :)

You didn’t know what to respond. You were mostly confused as to why he decided to message you out of the blue. Did he want something? But what would he want?

Y: Hii! This is sudden

C: was i bothering you?

shit sorry!

Y: Youre fine I wasn’t doing anything rn

C: how has your day been

i dont usually do stuff like this

Y: Im glad you did im doing better now I was so bored

C: what were you doing that was so terrible

Y: NOTHING! thats the problem :(

C: im sure youll find something to do

You stared at his message. Unsure what to respond.

Y: Im gonna give myself a tattoo

C: what?

NO!

You tossed the needles you used for your tattoo into the sharps box. “Oh my god you didn’t,” KC said. She noticed the wrap on your calve from the tattoo you just gave yourself out of boredom. “It’s not my fault I didn’t have anything else to do!” You said trying to defend yourself. She sighed and just shook her head. “Just go home business is slow today.” It was raining so the shop probably wasn’t going to get a walk-in anyway and you didn’t have any more clients for the day. It was only 2 pm but you drove home and after making lunch for yourself decided to stream. You weren’t expecting too many people so it was bound to be super chill. Your leg felt sore reminding you of the tattoo. You snapped a quick pic of the fresh jack-o-lantern on the side of your calve and messaged it to Corpse.

Y: [image] it came out nice!

C: thats super cool actually

i was concerned why you would just give yourself a tattoo but i found your instagram and youre super talented

Y: Thank you!

For some reason, it felt strange to just have that be the end of your response.

Y: Im about to start streaming if you wanted to watch

[link]

C: ill be watching ;)

What’s that supposed to mean?

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

You sat in your apartment watching tv, hand lost in a bag of Doritos, and scrolling through twitter. You had stopped paying attention to the anime playing on the screen since you’ve watched it a hundred times and knew you wouldn’t miss anything. It was Saturday and you usually take those days off. Take the time to do chores or meet up with some friends but today you felt like not doing any of those things. As you continue your endless scroll (not helping the twitter addiction you told yourself you’d try to get a handle on) you got a message from Corpse.

C: wanna talk?

You looked down at the message unsure of how to answer. It was a simple yes or no and the obvious answer was yes. You and Corpse had started talking more regularly. You still didn’t have each other’s phone numbers but it was fine. Your conversations weren’t too big-- just you sending him memes, tiktoks, and telling him how much you liked the songs he would drop. Or him complimenting a tattoo you did. Sometimes he’d message you during streams telling you funny stuff his fans would say in the chat and you’d do the same. You learned a bit about each other but nothing too deep or serious. Like how you two lived a few cities away and you both really liked Donnie Darko. When Sean first invited you to that game out of everyone else there you were most excited to meet Corpse. He’s just so sweet and funny. Of course, you’d love to talk to him but you were also itching to talk to him and the last thing you’d ever want to do was make him uncomfortable.

Y: Yeah id love to talk

Here goes nothing.

Y: Wanna facetime or something?

No pressure or anything it could even be a regular call

I think facetime is just my default lol

You sent those last two messages quickly after you had sent the first. You wished you could know what he was thinking. It was killing you to think you had turned him off from talking to you completely. You put your phone down on the couch and went to wash your hand of Dorito dust. When you got back from the kitchen you turned off the tv and tossed yourself onto the couch.

Still no message.

Why am I so fucking stupid?

Just as you were standing up to stretch from sitting on the couch all day your phone buzzed. You reached for it fast and looked to see that it was him. You became super excited still not even knowing what the message said. It could have told you to never talk to him again for all you knew.

C: sure lets facetime

xxx-xxx-xxxx

You had his phone number. You added him to your small but growing contact list and called. You sat on your couch waiting for a response when he finally picked up the screen was black. It didn’t upset you; you kind of expected it and didn’t care what he had to do to make himself more comfortable during this call.

“Hey,” he said. His voice was raspier than usual.

“Did you just wake up?” You asked and looked at the time. It was about a little past noon and you had only eaten Doritos all day. Shit, you should probably make a decent meal.

“Not that long ago but yeah,” he responded and giggled. That giggle.

“Well, I’ve eaten nothing but Doritos all day while rewatching Ouran High School Host Club, so you’re welcome to join me as I make myself something to eat.”

“Sounds like fun; what are we eating?”

“I don’t know yet,” You said as you stood up and made your way to the kitchen. You opened the pantry and looked. You noticed a can of diced tomatoes and reached for it then checked the expiration date. It was still good. On your counter were some onions and garlic. “How about some tomato soup?”

“Sounds delicious.” you smiled at Corpse and your phone screen not knowing if he was also looking at his screen or not. “You’re really pretty-- you know that?”

“Thanks, but you don’t have to--”

“I’ve already told you what an incredible artist you are so many times I bet you’re tired of hearing it, but you already know what a talented artist you are.”

“That is very kind of you Corpse,” you said to him bashfully as you chopped the onion and opened the can of tomatoes. “But once again you don’t have to reach so far to compliment me.”

“I’m not reaching you are talented and beautiful and--”

“I thought I was pretty.” You could hear him chuckle with a smile on his face. “You’re both,” he said. You could feel your face getting warm from blushing.

“Fuck you you’re making me blush. My face is all hot and stuff.”

He laughed at how flustered you got. “That’s the cutest thing ever.”

You didn’t know how to respond so you just put some olive oil in a pot and tossed in your onions. It became silent but it was a comfortable silence. You turned the stove on and watched the flame for a few seconds. “If it was dark we could pretend we were together and having a bonfire or something,” you said to the phone as you turned the camera to show him the flame (still not 100 percent sure if he was looking at you or not).

“I’ll put it on the list of things to do when you visit me someday.”

#corpse husband #corpse husband x reader #corpse husband imagine #corpse husband imagines #corpse husband x y/n #youtubers #caffeinated ramblings

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cressida-jayoungr · 3 years ago

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Brotherly Fire: A Message from an Ordinary Ukrainian

I apologize for bringing politics into this otherwise just-for-fun blog, but the author of this piece is a dear friend of mine. Though we have never met in person, we have been internet friends and chatted regularly for more than fifteen years. So I am doing my part to get this piece out, as she requested.

Dear English-speaking friends, please help me send this text to as many resources as possible. I feel there are narratives out there that we should be dismantling, and "we are one people" / "we are sister nations" as related to Ukrainians and Russians is definitely one of them. *** BROTHERLY FIRE The night before the war started, I ordered sushi and then ran a bubble bath. It smelled faintly of tea and the manufacturer's idea of magnolia. I poured myself half a glass of white wine, grabbed a book (I still buy oldschool books; more practical if you want to read one in the bathtub) and just chilled. Bona, my calico cat, was unusually clingy and wouldn't step away from me; that, I think, I read as a clear sign that something was going to happen pretty soon. Cats do know this stuff. (A little earlier I'd listened to the President's address and grumbled a lot; how was I to know that the man who had been giving me nothing but a mix of cringe and annoyance would grow a pair of brass ones before I opened my eyes in the morning?) My alarm clock is set to 7:50 on workdays; I've been working from home since the start of the pandemic (anyone remembers what that was about?), and the ten minutes is just enough to get ready to log in. That morning, I allowed myself to sleep in, to be woken by a call from my sister-in-law saying, "We have a war." That was when I first heard the siren warning us about a possible air raid (did not happen). And then it just snowballed, this horrific war marathon streamed live. There's been an air strike on a military base, on an airfield, on a spot next to someone's gran's village; they hit here, they breached there, took over a town, left a town, they advanced, they retreated, they FUCKING WANT MY LAND. They still want it, and since our military have proven, for want of a better word, unbreakable, they turned their attentions to the civilians, because attacking the weaker is what any bully or abuser does. Need I explain the nature of the feelings an average Ukrainian has for Russians these days? I think not. In fact, I find it rather funny when people start to preach about hate being oh-so-destructive; um, yeah, I sure hope it is, I actually want the enemy destroyed, because that's how wars work. And then, about two days ago, we suddenly faced a deluge of Russian posts reacting to the hell that their country made break loose. The message being, basically, "I don't like what's happening and I also wanna be able to buy a new iPhone and travel to the Mediterranean, so here's a hashtag to show my support." Our own exchanges with them would be hilarious if we could somehow distance ourselves from the horrible context: "I say no to war!!! I hate Putin!" "So go out and say that to Putin." "But I may get arrested and go to jail and lose my office job!" "Well, I may get killed. I win... I think." "My children found out about the war and are devastated, now they are going to grow up traumatized. Please try to understand it's hard on us too!" "Your children are going to grow up, period. The little girl doctors failed to revive in Mariupol, however, will always be six. Are you seriously demanding compassion and understanding from me?" (Lady blocks me for "rudeness.") A Russian feminist: "It's men who start and fight wars! It's men who hold all the power! You can't possibly demand that we rise and put ourselves in danger for a cause with such meager odds of success!" "Wow, imagine if the suffragettes were like: Nah, not going to that stupid protest, there may be DANGER there." (These are all REAL conversations. I think I can dig up screenshots if absolutely necessary.) All this writing shares one common thing: in their minds, these people firmly separate themselves from the policies and actions of their state. It's never their responsibility, they didn't vote for Putin, they don't like him at all, and could we kindly please stop associating them with the evil power all set to crush us. It's almost never "I understand and accept my part in rearing this monster and letting him loose, either by action or

by lack thereof," it's "I have no idea how this all happened even though I was present the whole time, now why don't I hide under the bed until you have sorted out the consequences. Oh, and get me a blanket, would you, it's chilly here." (I put "almost" there. Yes, I know there are people who still protest, a few Russian feminists among them, but their numbers are so depressingly low for a population that large, and they are so unprepared for actual physical resistance that riot police have no problem subduing them.) I've never had much love for Russia; I'm from the West of Ukraine, and our history with the Soviets, the version of Russia that we've known best, was especially bloody and troubled. But for us as a people it's been basically a story of colonization, with Ukrainians pushed into assimilation using means of varying degree of brutality, our language banned by decrees, our culture branded primitive and only fit for village grannies (um, hello, Eurovision), our peasants being in slavery up until 1860ies (yes, that's how long serfdom existed in the Russian Empire) and then decimated during the Holodomor of 1932-1933, our literature taught in schools in a way that would only make kids hate it for life, and the typical narrative being of us as those cute brightly clothed natives who cook yummy food and sing well. Naturally, the big Civilized Empire just had to step in and introduce some enlightenment, right? Right? It's ironic how they have been repeating this so often they actually started believing it, and now it's coming back to bite them in the ass. Perhaps I digress, but it's important to understand the context when you deal with all this #notallRussians rhetoric. All those imperial phantom pains need to be completely gone, and every single Russian needs to stop with the "we are one people" bullshit. Because we are not. We are two separate nations, and, judging by what I see and read these days, with VERY different national characters. At some point while writing this I typed "a semblance of goodwill between our two nations," but then rephrased the sentence. I realize that my readers will not live to see that happen. And, sadly, not just because of Putin, but because the messages we see from Russia these days almost all scream betrayal. It doesn't really make much difference in the end whether this betrayal came from their active support of the Russian authorities, or from choosing not to act when action was called for. A sin of omission is a sin nonetheless. It's pretty much impossible to accept assurances of brotherly love while you are under a hail of brotherly fire. Natalia Nakonechna

#ukraine #russia #war in ukraine #signal boost #putin #zelensky #ukrainian #russian invasion #support ukraine #i stand with ukraine #pray for ukraine #stand with ukraine #europe #ukraine war #natalia nakonechna

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