#it's the crack writing
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"This fic was ai generatedâ" Cool, so lemme block you real quick
#the ethics are whack but more importantly you didn't even want to write it?? who is it even for?? not you? not me?#you didn't even have enough interest in the premise to take a crack at it?? then who cares?#please don't populate in my search results I'm looking for things that people wrote because they liked something#ao3
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i'm a writer irl (can't say who because my agent would rightfully put me into a blender and press the button if i go and out myself as "balrogballs") and honestly the funniest and most humiliating incident of my life was the time my finished manuscript triggered a plagiarism flag with the publisher for two lines of prose in my literary fiction novel...
.... which was word for word similar to a paragraph in a certain explicit work on FFN starring elrond and his batsman from the hobbit films, aka that one elf that looked like he ate panic attacks for breakfast (i forget his name but it's Figwit II) where the lord of imladris bends said twink over his writing desk and gives him the battering ram treatment.
and if you think i had to sit in front of one if the biggest publishing companies in the world and admit that it was, in fact, me who wrote the fic where the lord of imladris bends said twink over his writing desk and gives him the battering ram treatment in order to avoid being wrongly flagged for plagiarism, you would be absolutely correct.
(yes they published the book)
#Crack#except its my life#lord of the rings#The hobbit#these days if u write a fic abt Elrond tupping a twink to Tipperary they throw u in jail#Free balrogballs
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An adaptation of Sherlock Holmes set in a world in which the fictional character/literary juggernaut Sherlock Holmes, and all the subsequent adaptations thereof, still exist.
Sherlock Holmes (pronounced Holl-mess, as he is constantly reminding people) just had the misfortune of having parents who really liked the books, and his attitude towards his fictional counterpart is pretty much the same as that of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.
Sherlock runs a Youtube Theory channel called Mysteries Unwrapped with Sherlock Holmes. He has received no less than seven cease and desist letters from the Conan Doyle estate, all of which he has so faded managed to rebuff by pointing out that that's literally his name.
(No he won't change his name. He's Sherlock Holmes the real live human person. Let Sherlock Holmes the non existent fictional character change his name.)
John is Sherlock's flatmate. Sherlock almost refused to live with him once he realised that it would mean staying with a medical student named John, and only gave in once John pointed out that: a) he's a biomedical student, which is completely different from an md, and b) his surname isn't Watson.
It's now been three years, which is long enough for them to have developed a genuine friendship, and for John to have a) started working towards his PhD in biotechnology, and b) for him to start dating somebody with the surname Watson.
Sherlock can feel the narrative closing in.
His Youtube channel is meant to be focused on lost media, fan theories and stuff like that, but he keeps accidentally stumbling upon and then solving genuine crimes.
His brother Mycroft may or may not have chosen that name after he transitions specifically to annoy him.
He doesn't even live in London, but somehow the only flat they could afford was on a street named fucking Baker Street.
Sherlock Holmes and the Unescapable Power of the Narrative.
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super annoying gojo satoru when a girl comes up to you and asks you if he's your brother even after clearly seeing him grabbing your ass and saying super cheesy lines to you to make you only roll your eyes at him.
and you're stuck dumbfounded because it's not rocket science to figure out that you two are a thing just by looking at the both of you because the clingy bastard is quite literally stuck to you everywhere you go, whining and pleading for yet another kiss after stealing several from you.
and it's the same clinginess that prompts him to answer in your stead "yes actually. we're siblings" he beams a smile at you and you scowl, why the hell is he feeding onto this random girl's delusions like that? can't he take the hint?
you're not done scrutinising him when he grabs your chin with his big ass hands and smashes his lips onto yours, tugging and devouring your mouth into an extra sloppy kiss for the girl to take a hint.
he pulls away, a smirk on his lips as he licks his lips where yours had been a second ago. "is that obvious enough?" he chuckles, eyes never leaving yours as you see the girl storm off in the corner of your eye.
#i saw a quote that said bro's the type to say youre siblings and kiss you#and it was so satoru coded i Had to#i want him i miss him huhu#supersweet! writes#jujutsu kaisen#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk scenarios#jjk drabbles#jjk fluff#jjk imagines#gojo x you#gojo fluff#gojo x reader#gojo satoru x reader#satoru x reader#jjk headcanons#jjk fic#jjk crack#jjk satoru#gojo satoru#gojou satoru x reader
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"Perhaps a lesser-known gift of Kenobi's was his ability to listen."
(AU where post-banishment Ahsoka gets zapped back to TPM, strapped with a fundamental distrust of the Jedi, an apocalyptic vision of the future, and a mandate to help Anakin Skywalker. So, in all this, it's nice to have a confidant.)
edit: link to the fic
#found myself thinking about these two lately#star wars#i return briefly to star wars for May 4th#ahsoka tano#obi-wan kenobi#although he smiles stuff#illustration#art#artists on tumblr#fanart#shout out to those who've read the fic#I went back to edit it recently#cursed experience#trying to decipher my writing is like trying to read doctor's handwriting but i gave it a crack anyway
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their reaction to you wearing menâs cologne but itâs actually theirs!
contents: 18+, mdni. anon requested. them reacting to you wearing their cologne on accident. toji being sappy lol. gojo, geto, toji, nanami, choso, sukuna, shiu, and higuruma included.
#sexbot300 writes#jjk smut#jjk fanfic#jjk smau#gojo x reader#geto x you#toji x you#nanami x you#choso x you#sukuna x you#shiu x reader#higuruma x you#jjk fluff#jjk crack#jjk texts#jjk x reader#gojo x you#geto x reader#toji x reader#choso x reader#nanami x reader#sukuna x reader#shiu x you#higuruma x reader
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sending them nudes in the middle of an argument !
incl. nanami kento, sukuna ryomen, toji fushiguro
mdni âđ
#sage -> writes!#sage -> smaus!#sage -> nsfw!#jjk angst#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#jjk fluff#geto suguru#gojo satoru#nanami kento#toji fushiguro#jjk smut#toji smut#nanami smut#jjk crack#jjk smau#jjk imagines#jjk blurb#choso kamo#shiu kong#sukuna ryomen#jjk text au#yuji itadori#jjk x reader#megumi fushiguro#higuruma hiromi#ino takuma#smau#shoko ieiri
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Water Wrinkles
Seven demon brothers sat solemnly in a circle around you. You did your best to ignore them. It wasn't often that you got to spend time at the human world villa, and you were intent on soaking up as much sun as you could before returning to the Devildom.
You reclined your beach chair back, crossing your arms under your still-wet hair. It was a gorgeous day. Perfect for being at the pool.
Leviathan let out a muffled sob. As the demon with the highest affinity for water, he blamed himself.
"Let us take you to a hospital," Satan insisted for the tenth time.
"They're going to laugh us out of the ER," you nonchalantly repeated.
Satan lowered his eyes and muttered, "I couldn't find any traces of a curse in the water... So how...?"
Asmodeus had his head in his hands, unresponsive. Sometimes his fingers curled around the ends of his hair. You briefly glanced over to make sure he didn't pull his hair out - that would be grounds for a real emergency.
"I can't bear to watch. Lucifer, do somethin'," Mammon whined. He was fidgeting all over the place and winced whenever he looked at your feet.
The oldest glared at you. You knew it was out of concern, but his fears were unfounded. Even Lucifer refused to listen to reason when he thought you were in danger.
"Actually, yeah. Lucifer, can you pass me a towel?" you asked. It was embarrassing having seven shirtless demons intensely staring at you. If they wouldn't let you go back in the water, maybe covering up would make you feel less self-conscious.
Lucifer didn't move. It was Beelzebub who plucked a spare towel off his younger twin and handed it to you with a shaking arm. He looked like a wet puppy, having been the one who first discovered your "condition" and swept you out of the pool.
Belphegor hadn't gone in the water that day. He only hogged the plush towels because of how comfortable they were and, following Beelzebub's lead, dumped them all onto your chair. Now he sat, wide awake. He was anxiously squeezing a loose chunk of concrete but at some point, without realizing, it got crushed to powder in his hand.
You had more than enough towels now.
"In half an hour you're going to forget this all even happened," you said to reassure the worry warts.
"In half an hour, you might be gone!" Mammon snapped back.
"You're going to be a wrinkled mess of skin and bones," Asmodeus weeped quietly.
Leviathan pressed his hands over his ears. Though, with nothing to cover his eyes he was forced to look at your wrinkled hands again. Based on the noises he was making, you'd think someone was torturing him.
"As I've said!" you reiterated. "All humans get wrinkly in water. Look, now that I'm drying off it's going back to normal."
Beelzebub grabbed your ankle, raising it for the brothers to observe at eye level. "I don't see a difference."
You didn't expect the sudden manhandling and slunk several inches down the lounge chair while the demons stared at your foot. Kicking and twisting your leg was futile. You modestly crossed your free leg.
"I think it's getting worse," Satan said.
"We need to take action," Lucifer decided.
Asmodeus was actively quivering now. Belphegor and Leviathan had crept behind you and started picking at your wrinkly fingers. You tried to swat them away to no avail.
"Give me 25 minutes! Literally! Probably even less, this will go away on its own! I just need to dry off."
"We need a solution now," Mammon asserted. The cogs in his brain were turning. "We need fire."
You tried to sit up, to jump up and stop Mammon before he burned the whole villa down in an attempt to dry you off, but Beelzebub had not let go and you stumbled. You grazed your knee on the concrete and winced.
A second round of panic overcame the demon brothers. Beelzebub let go, Lucifer picked you up, and Belphegor wrapped your knee with every available towel he could lay his hands on. Asmodeus and Leviathan were crying on each other's shoulders. Mammon came running back, oblivious to the second disaster that just occurred, with a flaming stick in his hand that Satan tried to keep at bay. If you got burnt on top of everything else, they'd probably go insane and destroy the human world.
In the midst of the chaos you caught a glimpse of your hand. It was practically dry. You couldn't even see the wrinkles anymore. You angrily wiggled in Lucifer's grasp as various hands fussed over you.
"Stay!!" you shouted over the clamor.
The brothers went tumbling to the ground, save for Lucifer who fought to stay rooted in place. You could finally hear yourself think again. There was primarily one thought on your mind.
"I just want to go swimming."
#eventually they're just gonna get a human doctor to live in the mansion. MC 2 is some med student who needs cheap housing close to campus.#files this under âmore fussing over MCâ#forget joint cracking. turning wrinkly is where it's at now /jk#i feel like these are repetitive so i'm not going to proofread it oops but i do enjoy writing stuff like this#obey me#obey me!#omswd#obey me scenarios#obey me shall we date#obey me headcanon#obey me x mc#obey me swd#obey me fanfic#obey me brothers#obey me x reader#obey me brothers x mc#obey me drabble#obey me hc#obey me lucifer#obey me mammon#obey me leviathan#obey me belphegor#obey me mc#obey me beelzebub#obey me asmodeus#obey me satan#obey me fic
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đđ synopsis. tired of the continuous bullying youâre receiving from the other concubines, you finally decide to stand up for yourself. the tension dulls when lord sukuna breaks the fight up.
tags. true form!ryomen sukuna x concubine!reader. sfw - angst kinda, little suggestive. mentions of bullying. violence. fighting. vile language. reader gets referred to as a âbitch, slut, whoreâ by the concubines. reader gets referred to as âbrat, womanâ by sukuna. not beta read bcs im sleepy. @ohimsummer, thank you for the idea LOL
youâre tired. tired of being treated like less by the others in sukunaâs harem. theyâre saltyâjealousâbecause of the shameless favoritism sukuna shows. youâre his favorite, the one he canât seem to get enough of.
thatâs exactly why youâre on the floor right now. youâve fallen to your knees after tripping over a concubineâs foot. you were passing by to go to your headquarters, though apparently such a mundane thing canât happen in this place without some woman interfering in the worst way possible.
âoops,â the blonde one laughs as she sees you on the wooden floor. youâre covered in food and some. . . gooey beverage. you donât know what it is, but itâs making everything feel uncomfortably sticky. your clothes, your fingers, your skin. itâs starting to itch.
âshouldâve looked where you were going,â another girl chimes in. the brunette. she feigns pity and throws a handkerchief in your face, causing the other concubines to giggle. there are three of them in total. they always stick together to bully you.
the one with green eyes speaks up as well, ânow now, donât be so harsh to the poor slut! sheâs got no brain to use after all.â
the other two laugh as you try your best to stay calm. youâre always telling yourself to be the bigger person in difficult situations. youâre clenching your hands into fists, your body basically trembling in anger. you want to swing. to show them that youâre worthy of respect.
âaww, sheâs gonna cry,â the blonde one poutsâa mocking pout that gets on your nerves. the laughs sounding from the trio are like nails on a chalkboard. you want to make it stop. youâre tired of keeping it civil, when they have never tried doing the same.
your eyes land on the serving tray next to your hands. the one they emptied on your head âby accidentâ. you take a deep breath and try to remind yourself that itâs probably best to go wash up. they desperately want a reaction out of you and you refuse to give it to them.
despite it all, youâre mad. youâve gone through enough of this. all because of sukunaâs favoritsm. all because youâre you.
theyâre salty that they can never be you. youâve seen their pathetic attempts to put you down yet simultaneously try and copy your entire existence. thinking that would somehow get them in your position as sukunaâs favorite.
youâre sick and tired of it. todayâs the day you show them exactly that. youâre going to show those women that you can and will beat some sense into them.
âoy, dumb slut, answââ the blonde is interupted before she could finish her sentence. a loud bang reverberates through the hallway and everyone falls silent.
sheâs the one on the floor now instead of you. youâre up, the wooden tray in your hands, the one you just used to smack the life out of her. sheâs whimpering and holding her red cheek. a nasty bruise is sure to form on her skin; deserved.
âiâll answer you, alright,â you mumble under your breath. youâre panting as the adrenaline keeps pumping. you stand over her and lift up the serving platter in the air once moreâbringing it down over and over against her head, which sheâs trying to shield with her hands.
the other two concubines are frozen in pure shock. youâre not thinking anymore. youâre on autopilot. the womanâs yelps and screeches are music to your ears. âhah. you sound as ugly as you look,â you spit on her, watching the blood trickle down the corner of her mouth. you lift your arms up to bring the wooden platter down on her body again, but youâre stopped.
the green eyed concubine had moved first. she grabs your wrists with one hand and smacks you across the face with the other. âhave you lost your mind?!â she yells and raises her hand to slap you again. the disrespect youâre showing clearly was not expected nor is it welcomed.
âdonât you fucking touch me,â you kiss your teeth. youâre glaring at her with pure hatred. you push and slap her right back. youâre sure the blonde wonât be up for a while nowâsheâs done for.
you donât know if you went a bit overboard with it, considering sheâs barely conscious anymore, but you couldnât care less at the moment.
youâre surprised when the third concubine yanks your hair. âoh, you little bitch!â the brunette grabs a bunch of your hair with both hands and tugs at it to drag you down on the floor. you wince in pain but quickly pull at her own brown locks. you struggle to keep your balance and your scalp aches.
you hate it when women go for your hair when fighting, though luckily you know your way out of it. you take a deep breath and bring her head down, lifting your left leg up at the same time. her forehead comes crashing down on your knee and she loosens her grip on your hair.
âdisgusting,â you huff and take the opportunity to push her fragile body aside, making her trip over the blonde girl on the floor. you canât help but think that your current state is quite similar to a certain someone.
the violence. the seething anger. youâve seen this scene way too many times before. youâve learnt it from him.
your thoughts are interrupted by someone pulling the back of your hair, causing you to stumble backwards. âa whore like you needs to be taught some manners,â the green eyed concubine sniffs and keeps a tight grip on your hair. she delivers a few punches to your face, which you actually struggle to block for a second.
the force hitting your nose makes it bleed. that only angers you further. you gather some saliva in your mouth before spitting it out right in the girlâs eyes. you take your chance and grab her hair, smashing her head against the nearby fusuma. the thin plaster the sliding doors are made out of breaks, and she falls right through into the other room.
âi think you all need to be taught how to act,â you pant and wipe the blood dripping down your chin with the back of your hand. you walk through the opening you made in the frail door, kicking the concubine right in the face as revenge for the nosebleed she gave you.
you crouch down, your fingers tangling into her hair. you yank her head up and stare her right in the eyes. thereâs an eerie, dark look in yours. âwhy canât you just accept that youâre nothing but trash in your lordâs eyes?â you sneer. you are pitying them instead of the other way around, like how it usually would be.
and they despise it.
âyou fuckingââ âbitch? slut? whore?â you finish her sentence for her with an exasperated sigh. youâve heard those insults a thousand times before. itâs nothing new. itâs always the same nasty and repetitive comments. you slap the concubine in front of you again for good measure before standing up, âyou should come up with something new. itâs getting boring.â
you walk over to the other two, who are still recovering. you add to your last comment with a shrug, trying to hit them where it hurts, âyour repetitiveness explains why lord sukuna rarely calls for you at night. i bet your severe lack of creativity shows even in bed.â
âyouâre just a boring and hopeless bunch,â youâre out for blood. the blonde and brunette are looking up at you with fear and the sight excites you for some reason. theyâre crawling away, trying to go find someone who would save them. the servants are nowhere to be found. nor is uraume, who usually stops the petty arguments.
theyâre terrified by how youâre acting right now. theyâre clearly seeing sukuna in you. in your eyes and the aura youâre emitting.
youâre mirroring him, his merciless personality and all included. heâs subconsciously taking over your mind and itâs terrifying them.
your steps are heavy as you walk towards the concubines. you donât pay attention to the blood trickling down your chin, nor do you care about the ache in your scalp from the earlier hair pulling. all you care about is getting revenge for yourself.
you could complain to sukuna and have him punish them in your place, but that wouldnât be enough. youâre going to make sure that they donât try you again any time soon. you grab the blonde by her arm, lifting your fist to punch herâ
âoi, brat.â
your eyes widen and you snap out of your mad daze. sukunaâs voice shakes the floors with how loud it is. you whip your head to the side and see his tall figure standing at the end of the hallwayâuraume being right behind him. it looks like they were the one that rushed to inform sukuna of the ruckus.
you drop the other concubine and look at the mess. the broken fusuma. the blood splatter on the wooden flooring. your disheveled hair and clothes. your bleeding nose. the crimson stained plate and spilt food that got everywhere.
itâs a complete mess.
sukuna doesnât utter a word. he just glares right at you. youâre not sure if itâs because of your irresponsible behaviour or the mess you created. or both. he marches over to you and grabs you by the back of your collar with one big hand.
âm-my lord,â you whimper, nearly choking as youâre held up in the air like you weigh nothing, like one would do to a catâs nape. one of sukunaâs hands keeps you up whilst the others hang limply by his side. his red eyes scan your body, moving up and then back down.
you donât know what to say. you surely have overstepped a boundary - or multiple - with what youâve done today. youâve disturbed the peace in the estate and have caused damage to sukunaâs property. both to his women and the interior of his palace.
you cough up a bit of blood that was stuck in the back of your throat. youâre uncertain of how you should explain yourself. âiâm sorry, my lord. i didnât know what came over me,â you apologise and look down at the floor below your feet. youâre too embarrassed to look the king of curses in the eyes.
sukuna stays silent. itâs nerve wracking since you have no idea what heâll do in response to your outburst. his facial expression is blank, so you arenât able to guess whatâs going on in his head. itâs a complete mystery.
however, the tall man is secretly more amused than anything. what youâve just done, is one of the most interesting things he has seen a human do. sukuna witnessed everything from the beginning to the end and thoroughly enjoyed it. from the way you used that serving plate as a weapon to the way you managed to get out of those concubinesâ grasps each time.
itâs strange to sukuna; he felt something when he saw you in action like that.
pride? perhaps thatâs it. sukuna canât pinpoint the exact emotion, though if he were to describe it, the closest word would be indeed pride. he is proud to have discovered and witnessed that untamed side of yours. youâre always full of pleasant surprises that keep even a dangerous curse like him on his toes.
itâs why he will never get bored of you. he wishes to unleash your full potential one day.
sukuna finally breaks the silence with an amused snicker. one of his hands move to wipe the blood from your nose. you cringe when he slowly licks the red liquid from his fingers afterwardsâclearly ravishing the metallic taste.
âyâ finally did something, huh?â sukuna grins wickedly. he knows of the harassment youâve been going through and he couldnât wait to see you snap like this one day.
itâs sickening that he allows the bullying to continue just for the sake of creating drama, but itâs also worth it to him, since heâs got to unlock a side of you he knew you had buried deep inside. sukuna is a selfish bastard. you know that much, yet you like it when he looks at you with a prideful gaze and grin.
itâs so obvious that sukuna took pleasure in what heâs witnessed. he couldnât believe how much you actually resembled him in a way.
if he were to be honest: it turned him on like crazy. seeing how you fought back against those women and how nearly deranged you became. the degrading words you spewed. . . sukuna cannot get enough of it. if it were up to him, heâd have let you continue. but for your own sake, he decided against it.
as much as he loves that untamed side of yours, sukuna knew that he couldnât let you go too far. not because he wants to defend those other women, but because he still needs you to stay sane. going down that path of violence surely will do you more damage than good.
heâll fully corrupt you - your body and mind - one day. just not today.
sukuna lets you back on your feet after you nearly fail to breathe. he cocks his head to the side, still having a menacing smirk on his face. he roughly pinches your cheek, âit was entertaining, iâll give you that, woman.â
you wince as sukuna pinches the exact cheek you had a bruise on. heâs never done so before, therefore you donât have a clue about the meaning behind that gesture. though the compliment told you that he was pleased by the ruckus more than he was annoyed by it.
sukuna still hasnât bat an eye to the other concubines. they are waiting for their lord to punish you for hurting them, but it all seems to be in vain. they know better than to speak up about that to him. theyâre easily replaceable. they know that by now. itâs as clear as day.
youâve drilled that into their head today.
the king of curses pushes your small body towards uraume and you nearly bump against their chest with how easily he moved you around. uraume catches you in time and helps you stand straight, awaiting their masterâs orders.
sukuna checks you out one more time in that disheveled state, before you go back to your formal and reserved self. his interest in you has been piqued by todayâs events and he wonders when he can experience that side of yours again. he nods at uraume, âmake sure sheâs properly taken care of.â
uraume doesnât waste a single second after being given an order. âunderstood,â they reply curtly and keep you steady so you could walk with them towards the physicianâs quarters.
you look up at sukuna, trying to catch a glimpse of him before youâre taken away. heâs staring right back at you, the corners of his lips twitching into another subtle grin. heâs surprisingly pleased and content with your actions.
however itâs also not so surprising, considering that he loves it when you show any hint of resistance or stubbornness. whether itâd be to him or to his concubines.
sukunaâs facial expression turns cold the moment youâre gone and heâs left with the mess. âshe took the words right out of my mouth,â he stares down at the three women on the floor whoâre still unable to stand. heâs not helping them upâthatâs their own problem, âyâre a pathetic bunch.â
the concubines flinch as they hear the inevitable from their own lord. hearing it from you was frustrating, but hearing it directly from the man thatâs taken them in is heartbreaking. they donât dare look up at him in such pitiful states.
âall three of you,â sukuna addresses them sharply. his arms cross over his chest, a ruthless tone to his voice. the concubines tremble in his presence, though itâs partially still because of the fear youâve implemented in their systems.
he wouldâve killed them off right then and there, though youâve done enough damage to them both physically and mentally for now.
sukuna however, still couldnât care less about their wellbeing. their wounds and bruises are something theyâll need to fix on their own.
he points at the floor and broken door with his head before turning around to leave the miserable trio. sukuna leaves them with an order thatâs usually left to the servants;
âclean up the damn mess you caused. it better be taken care of before i return. ând i donât wanna hear a single squeak from any of you about this.â
#sttoru writes.#jjk x reader#sukuna x reader#jjk x you#sukuna x you#jjk x y/n#sukuna x y/n#ryomen sukuna x reader#jjk angst#sukuna angst#bye this is also a crack fic to me
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Most children, once they've grown up and moved out, sometimes come back to visit their parents to use their house as a sort of personal grocery store
And with Bruce being a literal billionaire whose house is always stocked with food and supplies, the batkids (that aren't living in the manor) definitely visit just for the purpose of taking shit for themselves.
---
For Dick, it's just small things, food and maybe some utensils. Bruce is barely in the kitchen so he never notices dishes go missing, and there are like 10 other children in his house so literally any one of the younger kids could've stolen food in the middle of the night, so he doesn't bat an eye at all.
Babs probably steals Bruce's hardware or his tools from the batcave. Sometimes, if she's nice, she'll leave a note.
Steph probably takes shit that no one will notice at the time but will absolutely be annoyed about when they need said thing. Stapler, soap bars, the microwave plate, etc...(Taking after Jason, she steals the hub caps off the batmobile's tires)
However, for Jason, once his relationship with Bruce is somewhat decent, of course he's gonna be petty and start stealing the more expensive shit in the manor for his apartment. Jason's microwave is broken? The next day, the cave's self-made and enhanced microwave made by Bruce for convenience is just gone.
Jason's feeling a coffee maker for his place? The one in Bruce's study disappears, too.
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At first, Bruce thinks he's just sleep deprived, but then much bigger things start to go missing, like the whole TV and couch set in the living room. He assumes the younger kids are just playing pranks on him (sounds like something Stephanie would do) but then Bruce notices that the thief deliberately avoids stealing things from the kitchen, which is where Alfred is most of the time, and suddenly Bruce has an irritated clue on who the culprit is.
At first, he doesn't say anything, until one day he comes back, tired from a patrol, and is about to log in all the info on the computer only to realize his batchair is gone. That's when he texts Jason a blunt "If you really need things for your place, you can just ask me. I'll buy them for you." (As if Jason himself isn't loaded from his totally legal activities)
---
So now Jason's pettiness levels increase tenfold, and oh, wouldn't you look at it, his bike needs some new tires, and he knows a great place to get some more.
One night, Bruce is just blearily getting up for a late night snack, only to see Damian scamper away with a...lamp? So Bruce immediately follows him into the foyer only to see ALL of his kids (sans the ones not living in the manor), trying to haul two arm chairs out the window, and they just stop dead silent to stare at him until someone whispers a nervous "Crap"
Bruce doesn't even have any energy to fight, he just pinches his nose and is all "What is the meaning of this" in his tired dad voice. And Duke meekly responds with "we wanted more chairs at Jason's place"
And suddenly it all makes sense. Not once did Bruce wonder how the HELL Jason managed to lug a whole 60in TV and a full couch set on his own in one night. Of course, he had accomplices. Bruce just turns right around and goes right the hell back to his room to sleep. He'll deal with this in the morning.
#Batfam#batkids#batdad#family bonding means stealing shit from ur dad to bring to ur big bro's place to make hangouts more comfortable#Bruce can measure the state of his relationship based on what Jason's currently stealing from his place#Jason isn't stealing anything at all? Ok he's MAD mad at Bruce.#Which tells Bruce he's gotta write up an apology text soon otherwise a building in Gotham's abt to blow up#Jason steals some tires from his vehicles? Means they probably had a heartfelt moment recently.#Jason steals shit Bruce KNOWS he doesn't need? Like a whole ass SINK? Bruce knows he did smth to mildy annoy Jason.#jason todd#dick grayson#bruce wayne#batman#red hood#damian wayne#barbara gordon#stephanie brown#duke thomas#batfamily#batbros#crack#dc comics#fanatical posting
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Jail Buddies
Once a month, Jason makes an effort to meet Dick on purpose. Sometimes even more. After all, he was a good little brother checking in with his brother. Though he had a rather uncontroversial way of doing so. One that involved getting led into a jail cell of your local police department and loudly demanding to speak to Officer Grayson.
Okay, maybe it wasn't like that it was an effort to check on his brother and just one of his many listed dumb moments of recklessness he got caught for. And he was maybe using his brother to get out without having to call Cass, Steph, Duke, Tim, Damian, Alfred or Bruce, in that order depending who was willing to bail him out every time Dick had his 'Little Wing you won't learn if I keep bailing you out.'-Phases again. Or if Dick was being petty because of a recent prank war.
Either way, while Jason was waiting for Dick to make his entrance in his cell he noticed the teen boy sharing the cell with him staring at him wide eyed. He arched an eyebrow, and decided on a whim to make friendly conversation.
"So what got you here kid?"
The teen blinked as if just realizing Jason had addressed him before grinning a bit feral, his blue eyes having an unnatural glow. "Vandalism."
Jason's eyebrow rose again, but the teen continued.
"Trashed mu place and gave my guardian's car a pretty paint job and some other stuff."
"You vandalized your own place? And got arrested."
"Fruitloop decided an overnight stay was a better punishment then leaving me unattended."
The teen shrugged and Jason couldn't help but feel like he just had heard a red flag. He opened his mouth to question the kid more but than his brother finally made his entrance.
"Little Wing! What did you do this time!?" Jason could see that Dick was out to start a rant but changed tunes when he noticed the teen.
"Danny or Dan? You are here again? When did they bring you in? Trouble at home?" Dick asked, and Jason clearly saw the telltale signs of information fishing bat style.
"Danny and the usual." Danny, as Jason now learned the kid's name was, shrugged nonchalantly like this wasn't the first time he and Dick had had that exchange.
"Seriously buddy? I had a rebellious phase as teen too but to regularly trash your home to the point that someone calls the police or vandalize your guardian's cars, buildings, advertisements or anything that has to do with him is not a solution kid." Jason arched an eyebrow at Dicks tone, feeling slightly reminded of whenever Dick lectured one of them.
"Oh I know. But it's a nice stress reliever, plus you guys are nice here. I get pizza as dinner whenever I stay the night." The kid grinned and Jason couldn't help the snort that earned him a little glare from Dick.
Instead of arguing further his brother let out a suffering sigh and let Jason out of the cell, waving him towards the exit and following him shortly after giving the kid one more look that looked like a mix between stern and pleading to stop being a rebellious teen.
Once out of earshot, Jason then chose to ask. "So what's the kid's deal?"
"Nothing, just a rebellious teen reminds me of Damian when he first appeared. He has a twin and a little sister as far as I know, both of them also known here. Their guardian is an upstanding man, though." Jason heard the hidden but.
"Did someone look into it?" He hummed more as a cover.
"Higher ups don't know, but i am running an investigation." Translation Bruce is unaware, but Dick was using Bat resources for looking into the kid's residence.
"Nice kid, didn't think he was a regular." He only commented.
"Nice and polite, you wouldn't think he did some of the things he was brought in for. Distrustful though, despite his friendly nature."
Jason nodded as Dick went through the papers to bail him out, a thought popping up in his head. Clearly, something was up with the kid that had his brother worried, and it looked like he was stuck on just doing his investigation. So, being the thoughtful little brother he was, Jason decided to help his brother.
In his uncontroversial ways, of course.
"Yo Danny, also here?" Jason grinned as he was led into the same cell the teen was in a week later.
#danny fenton#danny phantom#dp x dc#dpxdc#dcxdp#crossover#jason todd#dick grayson#rebellious danny#danny dan and ellie live with Vlad#all three rebel in their own way#danny also gets arrested on purpose to annoy Vlad#dick is worried#and is already investigating vlad#jason joins in for the heck of it#this was written with a migraine#no guarantee thatninwas even thinking while writing on my phone#unedited#no beta we die like danny#crack prompt#fic prompt
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boyfriend!ateez discovering you write smut
genre: ot8 x gn!reader, smut, crack, fake texts
c/w: explicit content - mdni, swearing, dirty jokes, pet names, dark humour
a/n: i had a different fake text queued for today, but in light of choi san the man himself discovering fanfic, this felt fitting to post đ«ą started drafting this five months ago with @sorryimananti-romantic so did we accidentally manifest it đŹ
#loren writes#ateez fake texts#ateez fic#ateez fics#ateez x reader#ateez ot8 x reader#ateez smut#ateez crack#hongjoong x reader#hongjoong smut#seonghwa x reader#seonghwa smut#yunho x reader#yunho smut#yeosang x reader#san x reader#san smut#mingi x reader#wooyoung x reader#wooyoung smut#jongho x reader#jongho smut#ateez scenarios#ateez imagines#ateez reactions#ateez headcanons#ateez smau
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#James Somerton#HBomberGuy#Todd In The Shadows#ToddInTheShadows#Writeing#Writers#writeblr#Inspiration#Insparational#I cracked my skull when I was a toddler and Iâm still gonna cite sources for my fic.#I was apparently trying to feed a tank of fishes on a shelf. :D#I donât remember it but Iâm also not embarrassed by it#I thought about watermarking this picture but I think it should belong to everyone dealing with imposter syndrome
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sometimes you gotta lure your overly-studious ravenclaw gf into spending time with you đ„° đ ( from 'Every Teardrop is a Waterfall' by Kat_12739 on ao3, GO READ IT!!! the first story is about seb falling sick and still pushing himself/not admitting he's sick until he ends up in the hospital, the second story is about the birth of seb and clora's daughter and seb's reaction to clora almost dying in childbirth, and the third is about dealing with a fussy newborn lewisđđ„čTHEY'RE SO GOOD AND SWEET AND SOMEWHAT SAD (not to mention beautifully written) so go check it out!!đđ )
#READ SO I CAN YAP TO SOMEONE ABOUT THEMđđ©đ#the seb sickfic made me realize how much i needed barely functioning and sick seb (but him still trying to be tough)#theres also a part that cracked me up bc at one point seb is so sick he cant even see straight but he just thinks to himself:#eh its fine.... ill just ask ominis how HE functions without vision laterđ€· LMFAO#so stubborn...JUST LET CLORA TAKE CARE OF YOU MFERđ€șđ€șđ€ș#defs gonna be drawing more from it especially sick seb LMAO but also seb having a tea party with celesteđ„čđ„č#hogwarts legacy#sebastian sallow#sebastian sallow x oc#sebastian sallow x mc#sebastian x mc#hogwarts legacy fanfiction#sebastian sallow fanfiction#hphl#choccyart#also i was never planning on writing anything about clora giving birth or abt the kids so to be able to read it WAS AMAZING#THERES A PART WHERE SEB IS HOLDING CELESTE AND CRYING AT CLORAS BEDSIDE THAT I NEED TO DRAWđđ#LIKE SRSLY seb being conflicted and not even wanting to HOLD celeste bc he doesnt know if clora is alive or not... IT WAS SO SAD BUT GOOD#i honestly dont know what seb would do if clora died in childbirth tbh.......i could honestly see him resenting celeste#esp since she looks so much like clorađđ#LETS JUST NOT THINK ABOUT IT!đđ#(still thinking about it)#like this line in the fic: âSebastian hesitated; if this was Cloraâs last gift to him he wasnât sure he wanted it.â#đđđITS SO GOOD UGHHHHHđ TY AGAIN FOR WRITING THESEđIM SO TOUCHEDDDđđ
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Hello! Could I request tom being soft and clingy. Thank you and Your stories are awesome!
hi! thank you for reading my work!!!
magic word | tom riddle
pairing: tom riddle x reader
genre: fluff, slight jealousy, humor, established relationships, OOC tom
Contrary to popular belief Tom Riddle loves physical touch âonly if heâs the one insisting it of course. And, especially when heâs just tiniest bit jealous.Â
âTom?â You ask, feeling him lazily wrap himself over you tighter. âI need to use the bathroom.âÂ
âNo you donât,â he murmur, tone annoyed.Â
âYes I do,â you tell him, watching as he kept his eyes on the book in his hand. âI need to go.âÂ
âYou wouldnât be needing to go if you were with Creevey,â he snickers, not releasing his grip on you.Â
You bite back a laugh at his words. âThis again?â
Two days back, Creevey had made the mistake of asking you out on a date with Tom just a few feet behind him. And though the two of you werenât exactly public about your relationship, most of Hogswart knew to not try anything on either of you.Â
Poor Creevey who build up the courage to finally ask you out after five (or was it six?) months of fancying you, only to be flat out rejected not by you, but by your boyfriend.
Who âfor the first time everâ kissed you in front of everyone before turning to ask him, quite charmingly you might add. âDid you need something, Creevey?âÂ
You could only hope that heâs handling his heartbreak well. Because, your boyfriend was taking it worse than him (probably) by clinging onto you and bringing him up any possible chance.Â
âWhether Iâm with you or Creevey, Iâll still need to pee,â you sigh, âItâs human nature.âÂ
âSo you admire youâve thought about being with, Creevey.â Tom eyes Nagini, their eyes meeting with a sly understanding. âIs he going to be a problem?âÂ
âWhat are you going to do? Hurt him?â Itâs quiet, Tomâs eyes meeting you as if he was asking whether you were testing him. âIf you hurt him, Iâll bite you.âÂ
âAnd if I liked to be bitten?âÂ
You huff, squirming under his arms. âIâll fight you.âÂ
He moves away from you slightly, long limbs still wrapped around your frame. âI can take you.âÂ
âPlease,â you huff again, this time pouting as you try to ease him off of you but to no avail. âI really have to go, Tom.âÂ
His arm loosens its grip on you, still tight enough to cage you into his chest. âSay the magic word.âÂ
âPlease?â
âYouâre so close, my love,â he tells you, shaking his head as he prompted you on, âtry again.âÂ
âI love you?â
A low chuckle vibrates from his chest. âI love you too,â he says, âbut no, how about adding something to your first try?âÂ
âPlease, my love?âA firm head shake, dark hair flailing against your pillow.Â
âPlease, baby?â
You learn then that even the head boy likes to be babied from time to time, pressing a quick kiss before releasing you from his arms and legs. You shuffle out of bed, yelling back at him. âSince when did you like being called baby?âÂ
#â requests#tom riddle scenario#tom riddle crack#tom riddle fluff#tom riddle imagine#tom riddle x reader#tom riddle fic#tom riddle fanfiction#đ§ł: my writing
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âââ Ëàšà§â telling them that you didnât finish as a joke!
contents: 18+, mdni. anon requested. telling them that they didnât make you cum last night. gojo, geto, toji, nanami, choso, sukuna, shiu, and higuruma included.
cw: smut, slight fluff, crack, cum, oral (f and m), brat-taming, degradation, toys, bimbofication, humiliation, rope, penetration.
a/n: brain has been going brrrrr lately. hope u guys enjoy fr </3 sorry for not responding or being as active. hitting a temporary slump with my writing!
taglist: @whisperingcherry
#sexbot300 writes#jjk smut#jjk x you#jjk x reader#jjk smau#jjk crack#gojo x reader#geto x reader#toji x reader#nanami x reader#choso x reader#sukuna x reader#shiu x reader#higuruma x reader#gojo smut#geto smut#toji smut#nanami smut#choso smut#sukuna smut#shiu smut#higuruma smut#gojo x you#geto x you#toji x you#nanami x you#choso x you#sukuna x you#shiu x you#higuruma x you
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