#crack prompt

[just--some--prompts]

Sentence/Conversation Starters:

Random things my friends and I have said over the years on Discord

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

✦ — Person A: “Something on my face?” Person B: “Yeah it's called being too handsome, now stop it.”

✧ — "Two cups of chicken broth, two cups of heavy cream, and then add the lego's–"

✦ — Person A: -makes struggling noises- Person B: "Are you ok?" Person A: "Nope" Person B: "Ok then"

✧ — "Don't shoot me! I'm pleasantly thick!"

✦ — "You’re starting another cult. You bitch."

✧ — Person A: "I’m allergic to honey because I’m allergic to beeeeeeees." Person B: "That's… not how it works?"

✦ — "You were here, you were our side hoe!"

✧ — "The hetero's are upsetero."

✦ — "Why does he not have clothes!?"

✧ — Person A: "We're not clean in the eyes of God." Persona B: "You're not clean in the eyes of your bathtub. How can you be clean in the eyes of God?"

✦ — "Consent is hot when you're fucking my life"

✧ — Person A: "You tire me" Person B: "Then go to bed"

✦ — "You were so far in the closet you were finding Christmas presents from 4 years ago!"

✧ — "I want... to put a pop-tart in his mouth. Do you like smores'?"

✦ — "Life of crime? Naw. Life of shaking ass? Sure."

✧ — Person B: "You're the opposite of a friendly boy." Person A: "What's the opposite of a friendly boy?" Person B: "A bitch."

✦ — -takes a fighting stance- “I'm ready to bite yo ass"

✧ — "People not talking to me? Ideal."

✦ — "You are all a burden upon my shoulders"

✧ — Person C: “Ima eat yo fucking al dente ass ligaments u Italian deviant” Person B: “You're welcome to. End my meat lineage.”

✦ — "Lol, simping for some sleep"

✧ — "Cucked for a soft pillow"

✦ — "Get cucked consciousness"

✧ — Person A: -struggles to breathe- Person B: "Breathe" Person A: "Who needs air?" Person B: "You need air to survive." Person A: "Debatable…" Person B: ".......shut up"

✦ — "I like my men like I like my food...  Genetically modified."

✧ — “Bitch, you got crabs?”

✦ — Person A: “Suc-Fuck you!” Person B: “You were gonna say suck.” Person C: “You were gonna say suck,” -Person C leans in closer- “that’s kinda gay bro.”

✧ — Person A: "So what are y’all talkin about?" Person B: "Uh... we were talking about gender reveals but with spaghetti"

✦ — "It's a millennial thing innit? Eatin' ass?"

✧ — "I'd stuff my face with you."

✦ — “Screams in slut, what!?”

✧ — Persona A: “I’m not mad.” Person B: “Don’t lie.” Person A: “Shut your whore mouth!”

✦ — -hands slam down on table- "They’ve had sex together!!!!"

✧ — "Rip in shit, binch. Sloshed and forgotten."

✦ — “This is how I die. Tell people it was something cool and not spicy egg salad.”

✧ — Person B: "You don't eat your phalanges [Person A]. Rookie mistake."

✦ — "When the Campbell's chunky take chunk out of you."

✧ — "Excuse me, Ma'am, can you put down a wet floor sign? You're a bit of a hazard."

✦ — "My gamer arthritis is making it hard for me to hold my wife's hand"

✧ — "Is this roller camping? .............I'm gonna fuck your mom."

✦ — Person A: "I struggle with his emotions–" Person C: "So does he."

✧ — "I thought by ‘squirt’ you meant that the clowns had venom sacks."

✦ — "We learned our lesson, don't convert–"

✧ — "You fed me eggs, now the government can track my location!!!"

✦ — Person C: "Anyway, back to the topic at hand–" Person B: "God, I wish his throat was under my hand–what?"

[jinjeriffic]

DCxDP - Death and Taxes

Broke college student but also the Ghost King Danny looking at the stack of complaint forms in his inbox about people cheating death. In a stroke of sleep deprived inspiration, he issues a royal decree that anyone who has properly died before (I.e biologically dead, not just clinically dead) is still a citizen of the Infinite Realms, even if they were resurrected. And have to pay income tax to the Crown.

He establishes the Infinite Realms Revenue Service, recruits the ghosts of some meticulous accountants and sends them after all the assholes who think they can escape Death and Taxes. Starting with the worst offenders (ie those who have escaped death the longest/most often). Your tax bracket scales with how many times you died.

Just picture Ra's al-Ghul, in the middle of giving some speech to his assassin cult when this Phil Coulson looking ghost dude shows up behind him to "discuss the back taxes he owes to the Crown".

Every magic user worth their salt is suddenly swamped with messages from panicked villains and heroes who are trying to figure out wtf is going on and how to get out of this. Constantine is sweating bullets.

Danny hires Valerie to do mortal side "casework", because a, she's just as saddled with student debt as he is b, has worked fast food and knows how to handle asshole customers c, doesn't take shit from anybody.

Imagine Vandal Savage, Felix Faust and Red Hood awkwardly sitting in a waiting room with a stack of documents each, ready for their number to be called so they can dispute their claims. Being called in and utterly flummoxed at the unflappable, bored young woman at the desk who somehow has files on everything about you - birth record, death record(s), who you killed and when records... now declare your income as a crime lord/dictator/sorcerer, sir.

Meanwhile Danny is planning on how he can allocate the taxes to open a soup kitchen for Lunch Lady to work at and similar shit. He is determined to be a good king, dammit!

[alien-slushie]

DP x DC Crack Prompt

Its the usual shebang, the JL, YJ, and TT need help defeating some demon hellbent on destroying their world for whatever reason, and they're struggling, when Raven hesitantly says she has someone she can summon to help. Due to her hesitancy, everyone assumes whoever she's summoning must be a huge deal, and really risky, but at this point it looks like their only hope, so Raven summons him;

The King Of The Infinite Realms; Phantom. A hulking figure with a crown of cool flame, with teeth as sharp as Tungsten, and a heart as dark and cold as- wait is that little Rae-Rae?!

The King starts gushing over Raven, much to her embarrassment as he complains she never visits him anymore. He laments about the days when she was just a little baby and came to the Infinite Realms meetings with her father, coloring pictures of demons while Danny and the other ancients passed her various sweets and toys to keep her occupied, and that time she told Trigon he was a "big stupid head and she was staying with the other ancients from then on"!, and all the mischief she got up go with Dani/Ellie in Phantom's Keep when they had sleepovers.

Raven, heavily embarrassed, calls him "Your Highness" while trying to get the conversation back on track, but the King looks super hurt by that so she eventually caves and calls him "Uncle Phantom" like she usually does, and finally gets him to take care of their demon problem.

The payment for this favor? Raven has to go to Phantom's Keep every other month or so for tea with Him, and Dani/Ellie.

Raven agrees, and thus the universe is saved, and all it costed was Raven's dignity[/j].

The Teen Titans are kinda is a hard situation though. On one hand; "Ha! He called her Rae-Rae!" And they wanted to hear more baby stories, on the other, her Uncle is apparently the King Of Every Known Universe and then some, do they really want to tease her about this?

The answer is yes.

[stars-obsession-pit]

Damn it, not again

Danny Fenton is fucking tired of rich fruitloops trying to adopt him.

At first it was just Vlad Masters. But no, it couldn’t stop there.

He moved to Metropolis City for college, and some bald guy tried to approach him talking about how he was interested in his family’s tech and they could use it to defeat Superman and lead humanity into a new age.

Which, fuck no, creep.

So he transferred to a different college in Gotham. And of course Danny can never have nice things, so the resident billionaire there had to take interest in him too after the city’s vigilantes caught him phasing through his house’s window.

Well okay maybe that one was on him, he could have been more careful with his powers, but still.

So he moved again, this time to somewhere remote with as few billionaires as possible.

…Where he then promptly gets kidnapped by ninjas and wakes up in the cult-y basement of yet another fruitloop, this time one spouting off about immortality and Lazarus something-or-other.

Where else can he go at this point!? Space???

…Nah, knowing his luck that’d probably end up with an alien fruitloop trying to adopt him as a pet or something

Maybe the deep ocean would work?

[flamingpudding]

Jail Buddies

Once a month, Jason makes an effort to meet Dick on purpose. Sometimes even more. After all, he was a good little brother checking in with his brother. Though he had a rather uncontroversial way of doing so. One that involved getting led into a jail cell of your local police department and loudly demanding to speak to Officer Grayson.

Okay, maybe it wasn't like that it was an effort to check on his brother and just one of his many listed dumb moments of recklessness he got caught for. And he was maybe using his brother to get out without having to call Cass, Steph, Duke, Tim, Damian, Alfred or Bruce, in that order depending who was willing to bail him out every time Dick had his 'Little Wing you won't learn if I keep bailing you out.'-Phases again. Or if Dick was being petty because of a recent prank war.

Either way, while Jason was waiting for Dick to make his entrance in his cell he noticed the teen boy sharing the cell with him staring at him wide eyed. He arched an eyebrow, and decided on a whim to make friendly conversation.

"So what got you here kid?"

The teen blinked as if just realizing Jason had addressed him before grinning a bit feral, his blue eyes having an unnatural glow. "Vandalism."

Jason's eyebrow rose again, but the teen continued.

"Trashed mu place and gave my guardian's car a pretty paint job and some other stuff."

"You vandalized your own place? And got arrested."

"Fruitloop decided an overnight stay was a better punishment then leaving me unattended."

The teen shrugged and Jason couldn't help but feel like he just had heard a red flag. He opened his mouth to question the kid more but than his brother finally made his entrance.

"Little Wing! What did you do this time!?" Jason could see that Dick was out to start a rant but changed tunes when he noticed the teen.

"Danny or Dan? You are here again? When did they bring you in? Trouble at home?" Dick asked, and Jason clearly saw the telltale signs of information fishing bat style.

"Danny and the usual." Danny, as Jason now learned the kid's name was, shrugged nonchalantly like this wasn't the first time he and Dick had had that exchange.

"Seriously buddy? I had a rebellious phase as teen too but to regularly trash your home to the point that someone calls the police or vandalize your guardian's cars, buildings, advertisements or anything that has to do with him is not a solution kid." Jason arched an eyebrow at Dicks tone, feeling slightly reminded of whenever Dick lectured one of them.

"Oh I know. But it's a nice stress reliever, plus you guys are nice here. I get pizza as dinner whenever I stay the night." The kid grinned and Jason couldn't help the snort that earned him a little glare from Dick.

Instead of arguing further his brother let out a suffering sigh and let Jason out of the cell, waving him towards the exit and following him shortly after giving the kid one more look that looked like a mix between stern and pleading to stop being a rebellious teen.

Once out of earshot, Jason then chose to ask. "So what's the kid's deal?"

"Nothing, just a rebellious teen reminds me of Damian when he first appeared. He has a twin and a little sister as far as I know, both of them also known here. Their guardian is an upstanding man, though." Jason heard the hidden but.

"Did someone look into it?" He hummed more as a cover.

"Higher ups don't know, but i am running an investigation." Translation Bruce is unaware, but Dick was using Bat resources for looking into the kid's residence.

"Nice kid, didn't think he was a regular." He only commented.

"Nice and polite, you wouldn't think he did some of the things he was brought in for. Distrustful though, despite his friendly nature."

Jason nodded as Dick went through the papers to bail him out, a thought popping up in his head. Clearly, something was up with the kid that had his brother worried, and it looked like he was stuck on just doing his investigation. So, being the thoughtful little brother he was, Jason decided to help his brother.

In his uncontroversial ways, of course.

"Yo Danny, also here?" Jason grinned as he was led into the same cell the teen was in a week later.

[is-this-even-relatable]

DC PROMPT #2:

When Captain Marvel gets hit in a fight that was a little too magical in origins for everyone’s comfort, he turns back into Billy Batson, scrawny homeless kid (actually a teen now, thank you very much), a clear difference from his healthy, strong adult form.

Billy knows that he is fine, he just needs to rest a bit and he’ll be back to being Cap. He is freaking out for a second about getting his cover blown. That is, until-

the rest of the Justice League, who on the other hand do NOT know that he is fine-

think that one of their founding and most senior members, their heavy hitter magical expert dude, is suddenly de-aged due to an attack of unknown origins.

Billy just decides to go along with it.

———

Billy, dragging himself out of the rubble of a building: “Aw shit.”

Wonder Woman, flying over after tying up the bad guy of the day: “Oh Zeus! Captain Marvel, are you still yourself? Do you feel alright?”

Billy: “Uh—”

Flash, dashing over: “What’s going on, what was that bright light— HOLY SHIT IS THAT CAP?!?”

Billy: “Ye—”

Batman from the Watchtower: “Wonder Woman, please report.”

WW: “It seems that Captain Marvel was hit by some sort of magical attack.”

Billy: “Well—”

Batman: “Is he compromised?”

Flash: “BATS HE’S A CHILD?!”

WW, sighing: “Yes, as Flash put it, he has been turned into a child.”

Batman:

Batman: “Bring him back to the watchtower and we’ll see if we can fix this.

Billy: “Shit, aiight I guess”

[salmonight]

Tobirama with bunny summons AU

Theyre all albino rabbits. Theyre tiny, fluffy and adorable. Also extremely vicious.

Scenario idea:

Tobirama initates summoning jutsu mid battle with the uchiha. Everyone stops waiting with bathed breats what will come out of the smoke just for it to dispath and leave behind an adorable tiny fluffy white rabbit with red eyes.

Theres a stunned silence for a while before Izuna starts laughing so hard he rolls onto the ground tears streaming down his face. Tobirama is all stone faced and serious while Hashirama runs over to coo over the adorablenes of his baby brother's summo. Then the summon starts speaking in the cutest little voice ever.

"Am gonna chew trough the walls of your stomach and snack on your entrails."

The whole battlefield descendes into a horrified silence once again.

More prompts here

[amirmeavid]

Merlin and Mordred but Mordred hasn't reached Stage 3 Disillusionment yet:

Merlin: *making the fire while on a hunting trip* What?

Mordred: *wheezing. coughing. sobbing. because why is his GOD doing menial tasks!?* This outrage! This is heresy!

Arthur: ..the soup? *hesitantly licks the spoon* Its not that bad.

Gwaine: Yeah, trust us Mordred. Merlin makes great soup!

Mordred:

Mordred:

Mordred: What did you just say?

Merlin: Oh no.

Mordred: *starts throwing a hissy fit because no, thats illegal, but also he can't tell the knights how important merlin is because what if his god SMITES him?!- (merlin does not yet know how to this, or he would have alreadu done it)*

*2 hours later*

Mordred: WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE ALWAYS DOES IT?! DO NONE OF YOU KNOW HOW TO COOK!?

Long story short, Merlin's chores dramatically decrease when Mordred is around, because nobody wants to kill their youngest knight by stress, even though they don't know why he acts that way.

Merlin is grudgingly pleased.

[writer-rae]

When Rita Skeeter, the queen of sensational headlines and questionable ethics, discovers that her childhood crush, Remus Lupin, is a werewolf, she does what any self-respecting, morally flexible journalist would do: she launches a full-blown campaign for werewolf rights. But let’s be honest—this isn’t just about advocacy. This is about Rita’s undying (and slightly unhinged) infatuation with the man who once lent her a quill in third year and accidentally set her heart aflutter.

As she navigates the fine line between her obsessive love and genuine advocacy, Rita plunges into a world of humor and chaos, where everything becomes a whirlwind of hilarity, mishaps, and unexpected revelations. Will Rita’s grand gesture melt Remus’s heart, or will her plans go completely off the rails, leaving her with nothing but a front-page story about her own humiliation?

https://archiveofourown.org/works/63323125

[minnesota-fats]

Danny Fenton, some how, somewhere, meeting Bruce Wayne, looking the man dead in the eyes and asks: “Are you Batman’s sugar daddy?”

[jinjeriffic]

DCxDP Crack Prompt

Danny is the Ghost King apparent. What he doesn't know, is that anyone who has died and come back to life is inexplicably drawn to him. Not necessarily in a sexual way, more like they subconsciously want to bask in his presence. And coming back from the dead applies to a lot of heroes. Basically, Danny is a catnip mouse tossed into a room full of bored cats.

Now the Danny gets dragged to a gala and meets the Bats is a classic setup, but also consider:

Danny at a tech convention, with various undercover heroes there to keep an eye out for potential mad scientists or inventions that supervillains might want to steal.

Adult Danny as the newest engineering hire on the Watchtower.

Tourist Danny at the Hall of Justice.

The heroes trying to figure out why the hell Ra's/Vandal Savage etc. are suddenly so interested in this random teenager.

Paramedic/firefighter etc. Danny at a disaster scene.

Danny at a superhero fan convention, where some heroes are present for a meet and greet/panel etc.

Meanwhile Danny is trying to figure out why he's suddenly so popular and any hero who hasn't died is trying to figure out wtf is wrong with everyone around them.

[stars-obsession-pit]

The GIW has won a major victory, successfully imprisoning a large number of very powerful ghosts.

But they made one crucial mistake.

For what is a prison cell but a large box?

The GIW will learn to beware the Box Ghost, and his unmatched control of all boxes!

[flamingpudding]

Hotel Fenton

Red Hood stared at the building that seemingly appeared out of nowhere in Crime Alley. Below his mask his eye twitched at the very elaborated and very bright shining and blinking sign on the buildings wall spelling out 'HOTEL FENTON' though it looked like the word 'HOTEL' had only been added recently. The building in itself was also strange. Red Hood was pretty sure no one would actually willingly step into a building like that.

"Are you seriously expecting to investigate this shit?" He muttered into the coms, knowing perfectly well that his brothers were watching through the integrated helm camera.

"Yep. You lost the draw." Nightwing sang from the other end of the com line. Red Hood was going to glitter bomb his Appartement later. He grumbled something inaudible once more before taking another step towards that strange building. But froze before he even set his foot completely on the ground.

A scream echoed through the building. His hand instantly went to the gun buy his side. Then a crash. Wide eyed Red Hood watched how a chair came sailing out of one destroyed window. More shouting followed now clearer. Someone was complaining loudly and...

He took a step back from the building as fire sprouted out of the broken window but before he could even tell his siblings to send back up the fire got extinguished by a sudden block of ice growing out of the window. Red Hood blinked, muttering a half hearted "Did you guys see that too..." Into his coms before the slam of the entrance door to the Building caught his attention and he came face to face with a little girl that had obviously slammed the door she was leaning against.

They stared at each other for a moment before the girl dusted herself off and grinned.

"Hi! Welcome to Hotel Fenton the place to stay for Ghosts, Shades, Undead and More! We are a little preoccupied with a some of our current guests but I am sure there is still an open place for a fellow undead and halfa in the making!"

Red Hood's eyes narrowed under his mask but before he could ask anything, a fucking man that had vague similarities to Bruce crashed through the wall cool-aid way with a good damn Talon in his arms that was obviously trying to gnaw on the arm holding it, a second man followed close behind floating and shouting vehemently that "JACK THAT IS NOT PLAY FIGHTING YOU DUMBASS! IT'S TRYING TO MAIM YOU!"

There was only one thought went through Red Hoods head at that moment, his sibling perfectly echoed over the coms.

"What the fuck?"

[daydreamerwonderkid]

Personal fic goal this year is to attempt a oneshot Batfam fic where everyone in the Batfam reacts to Bruce bringing home a sentient alien starfish, loudly proclaims said sentient alien starfish is their newly adopted brother, and then promptly passes the fuck out before anyone can ask any further questions like the dumbass he is.

[butterflyprompts]

Crackfic Prompt Ideas ಠ_ಠ

(a mix of romantic, platonic, and solo crackfic ideas! as always these are free to use whenever, wherever, credit not even necessary. but, if you do write with these, do feel free to share it with me! i would love to see it! :D as a reminder, i also take prompt requests!)

Character A steals Character B's snacks, and now they must suffer the consequences.

Character A has ran out of money. Now they must find a job, preferably minimum wage.

Bonus: They discover that Character B also ran out of money, and is their new manager.

Character A is sold to One Direction (Or, if the series you're writing for has a fictional band, have them be sold to it instead!)

Character A gets isekai'd. Are they the overpowered protagonist? The self-insert mary sue character? The series' new punching bag? Great for crossovers!

Write your favorite bitterly divorced couple after the first alimony payment. What does Character A do with it? What does Character B think about the situation? Make it funny, make it angsty, up to you! Crack and angst is a tag on AO3, after all. Use it!!!

Character A hosting a post-divorce party, only to have to sheepishly announce during the festivities that they actually have gotten back together with B.

Writing exercise: Stretch out your blorbo struggling to open a bag of chips for as long as you can. I'm talking 2k, 5k, 10k words if you can. Nothing else happens, they just buy, struggle to open, and rant to themselves as they fight with the chips.

Bonus points if the bag explodes on them once they do get it open, and it spills everywhere. Just absolutely ruin their day for me, please.

That, or let someone they despise walk into the room and casually open it for them.

Character A is in a sudden, intense amount of pain with no known cause or cure. The truth is, someone from our world is projecting their period cramps onto them.

Write Character A doing something completely mundane. Get as boring and pathetic as possible, if you can.

Character A wakes up in the middle of the night after a horrific nightmare. However, when they try to describe the horrors they just went through in their sleep to Character B, they can't help but cry laughing. Sorry Character A, but your biggest fear is absolutely ridiculous.

Recreate your favorite characters in The Sims. Then, rewrite whatever happens as a fic. Bonus points if you try your hardest to make it canon compliant! (I personally enjoy the addition of the Basemental Drugs mod for this one. Sure, let's get my favorite eldritch deity addicted to ketamine, I don't care.)

Character A cannot hide it any longer. They have a dark and horrible secret, one they can no longer in good faith hide from Character B. Character B is, of course, stressed at Character A's dramatics. What could they have done that's so bad? The truth is, nothing. The secret is completely mundane and normal.

For fluff and crack, consider cuteness aggression! "The truth is, whenever you do that thing where you sneeze and then say bless you to yourself, I want to squeeze you and bite your head off!" "...That's it?" "I'm a monster, B! I'm so sorry!"

Alternatively, have Character B completely overreact to this completely mundane secret. "What do you mean you don't like (Character B's favorite thing)?! How could you!?"

[fandomfuntimem]

Dp x Dc crack Prompt

This was requested by a friend.

Batman learns Danny knows his secret identity because Danny calls him a slut. (Cuz bruce sleeps with a lot of people)

This is not a smut prompt. But hey, go crazy.