#it's not supposed to be like this is it?
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
i really can't keep going and keep myself alive on my own, but i think i'm always going to be alone
#i'm really just at an impasse because how am i supposed to live alone and function and keep myself alive?#i just don't think that i'm capable of doing it alone but i'm always going to be#i don't have anyone and i never will#i can't really blame people#who wants some broken and useless barely functional mess in their lives?#who wants to deal with me always falling apart and always going through another disaster?#i'm cursed and there's not nearly enough positive to outweigh all of the bad for anyone#on the rare occasion that i make a friend i inevitably become too much#i'm too damaged and i needy#no matter how hard i try to hold myself together it's never enough for someone to love me#and i'm just so tired#i'm only 26 how am i supposed to endure a lifetime of this#sometimes it's all i can do to get myself out of bed in the morning#what's the point of being diagnosed as autistic if you still don't have any support?#nevermind the crippling depression and anxiety that's currently going untreated#i'm so horribly lonely and existing is so difficult#it doesn't even seem like it's worth it#and my life is never going to get easier because i'm never going to have any help or support or guidance to get through anything#i just... don't know what i'm supposed to do anymore#it's not supposed to be like this is it?#sorry i need to dump before i scream#my day was fine but i'm exhausted and now i've come home and everything is falling apart and i'm spiraling#vent post
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
shoutout to everyone who wants to infodump but cant string together coherent thoughts to form sentences and instead just look at you like this
#and by 'everyone' i mean me. im just hoping other people relate lmao#someone asks me about a thing i like and im just like h..................#been thinking about The Character for a solid 6 months+ and let me tell you. expldoeing soon#this is about ffxv btw . how am i supposed to say how much it lives in my brain . i cant think#text#1k#5k#10k#15k#20k#great googly moogly#30k#40k#50k#60k#boooy what da heeel#70k#80k#90k#will this be my first ever post to hit 100k... it remains to be seen#good lord. we did it#100k
135K notes
·
View notes
Text
for whatever reason tumblr has flagged this post from a deleted blog as explicit so I can't even reblog it anymore which is a shame because it's one of my absolute favorites
31K notes
·
View notes
Text
Sometimes I think a lot about my mom's cat
My mom's cat is a common domestic shorthair we found on the side of the road as a kitten
Regular cat, not a maine coon or one of those massive breeds. His mom was smaller than a loaf of bread
But in a sort of a Clifford The Big Red Dog situation, he grew super fast, and really really big, and took a super long time to stop growing
Worried that she was overfeeding him, she eased back his portions, but he stayed a massive round baby
When he started having kidney problems, she took him to the vet.
The vet took a look at him and said, "holy fuck, what are you feeding him", checked the nutritional listings on his chow, and told her "Yeah, maybe he's reacting badly to the amount of grain in this, try a meatier diet"
So my mom wound up special-ordering this specific high-protein prescription cat food made of like. Kangaroo meat or some shit that cost like sixty bucks a bag
And, as typical act two in an episode of House, he somehow got worse on the fancy specialized stuff that was supposed to be Primo Athlete Olympic Feline Blend
Like. WAY worse. His guts were inflamed and his kidneys were shutting down and he was all sore and HE WAS STILL HUGE, just miserable and sad
So shetook him back to the vet, where they had to help him pee (he was apparently close to bursting and had some kind of blockage too) and went "Yeah no this is NOT normal and we don't know what's going on, we're gonna do some tests but in the meantime you should go back to what he was eating before, at least that wasn't actively killing him" so she did
And he still wasn't great, but he also improved
And so they take his blood and do an ultrasound and a couple g's later she gets a call back like "this is gonna sound crazy, but we want you to put him on a low-meat diet. Just the least amount of protein and iron and shit. We need you to find the grainiest, filler-iest dollar tree kibble available and give him some of that bad bad shit"
And my mother is a woman of science. So she did
And he GOT BETTER
His energy picked back up, inflammation went down, he started drinking normally again, got back to pissing like a fuckin champion
And so it turns out that out of all the random ass freeway bonus cats we possibly could have scooped out of a ditch, WE got the one-in-a-million freak of nature with a SPECIFIC genetic defect that means a paleo protein free range diet is essentially poison and he THRIVES on cheap ass garbage
Like. He medically NEEDS junk food
I dont really understand how that works, but i cant argue with results.
If we had four of him, they'd outweigh my mom. And he's FINE
Also blind, but that's unrelated
Im not using him as a symbol or a metaphor or anything. I just keep catching myself thinking about my mom's Big Fucking Cat
#I'm sorry#I feel like this is supposed to be some kind of message from the universe#Like maybe I'm the cat and the garbage food is. Something#But nope he just lives in my head rent free#The biggest fucking boy
15K notes
·
View notes
Text
can't believe we're all adults being forced into the club penguin level of censorship in 2024
#ramble#if you say unalive in front of me i will personally kill you with my hands#you just can't muffle and censor and hold someone's hand through some things#some things are horrible. and they should be spoken aloud and they should upset you. because they are horrible#the second we started kidzbopifying the world was the end of taking anything seriously i think#i'm not even joking i've spoken to people older than me who won't even say the world sex#this isn't the playground you're not going to get in trouble just let us say the word!!!!!!#how am i supposed to listen to you when you won't even say the thing you're supposed to be talking about#yes this is the fault of the platforms with their censorship rules but the fact that we all just go along with it like it's not dystopian#you do know it doesn't stop with cursing right. people are already having to censor queer terms because they get flagged as inappropriate
52K notes
·
View notes
Text
I offer you: Tim Drake being absolutely demolished in a way or another for being good at videogames, both by his opponent and his own teammate
Recently this is the only thing capable of pumping some dopamine in my ADHD brain so this is what u get lol
More to come!
#I love the batfamily#love them#they’re like my sons#dick wasn’t supposed to be this hot but ig he had other plans#my favorite bird is tim tho idk why#batman comic#batman#batman fanart#batfam#bat family#dc robin#robin#red robin#nightwing#red hood#dick grayson#jason todd#tim drake#damian wayne#robin fanart#dc universe#dc#dcu#dc fanart#dc comics#art#digital art#my art#clip studio paint#artists on tumblr
17K notes
·
View notes
Text
I'm jumping off a bridge. Their backstory is so tragic, I can't.
The fact that even Queenie being in the state she was, Kinger still found humanity in her, the fact that he risked his life knowing she could go crazy and attack him just so he could touch her one last time.
And the fact that Queenie allowed him to do it, the fact that she was able to keep control as a abstracted just so she could feel him. Because she loved him and he loved her back and both of them knew her fate, but in that moment, it was just them, their last moment together so both made it work.
This is such a powerful image I want to hug both of them.
#the amazing digital circus#tadc#kinger#kinger tadc#queenie#tadc queenie#tadc new episodes#tadc episode 3#the amazing digital circus kinger#character analysis#more like moment analysis#i'm sobbing#they loved each other so much dude#they had no right to make me cry#this was supposed to be haha funny internet show#tadc spoilers
17K notes
·
View notes
Text
Physically? I am sitting in my bedroom. Mentally? Spiritually? I AM DEAD ON THE FLOOR!!!!! THESE TWO HAVE KILLED ME!!!!
(Another drawing! This was originally attempt #1 at drawing stan, and then fiddleford just showed up. Kinda feels like them five minutes after the above acting like nothing happened though, so it works sdjkgkjfshj)
#HEALED FIDDLEFORD HAS ME BOUNCING OFF THE FUCKING WALLS!!!!!!! GIVE THE MAN A BRIGHT HAPPY FUTURE!!! FUCK!!!!!#I don't know how i'm coming off right now#when i say that i've been super manic about them for the past week I really mean it#guys Idk but I think I might be fiddlestans number one fan#I liked this pairing before book of bill and after reading it it only solidified things#IT IS SO MUCH MORE THAN A CRACK SHIP TO ME!!!!!!!!#fiddlestan#gravity falls#anyway this is supposed to be them the next summer#stan is working the shack to tutor soos for tourist season#fiddleford has changed while the twins were on the stan o war#STAN DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO FEEL AT FIRST and they have a lot of shit to work through from their past before they can start making out dksjds#sketchbook#traditional art#pencil drawing#traditional drawing#stanley pines#fiddleford mcgucket#gravity falls fanart
10K notes
·
View notes
Text
i'm sure there's a canon timeline but dao is a springtime game to me
#ailill mahariel#leliana#alistair theirin#zevran arainai#morrigan#dragon age#dao#my art#my ocs#probably entirely bc i first played it for the first time in late february/early march but the association is indelible now#there's a certain combination of like weather and temperature that makes me think abt tramping around fereldan trying to stop the blight#this was also supposed to be a springtime post but. well.#i think i posted a wip of this like five months ago lmao 🤦
13K notes
·
View notes
Text
Annabeth: I, a child, had to earn Thalia’s love, that’s how the world works! I have to earn my moms love. Love is transactional, you gotta be worthy of it first silly :)
Percy, listening to this on the train
#STOP TRAUMATIZING THIS CHILD PLEASE#this is what it’s like when you were raised in a loving home and you find out your friend wasn’t#but they don’t know they weren’t#so you’re like um hey that’s fucked up and sometimes a crime?#you tell them parents are supposed to love you as is without earning it and they don’t believe you#you can hear the therapy bill racking up#annabeth chase#Percy jackson#percy jackson and the olympians#percy jackon and the olympians#pjo#pjo series#pjo tv show#mine#adding on to my tags because some people are debating if that’s how love works#love is meant to be a mutual exchange and something that grows over time between two people as their bond grows#whereas how Annabeth says it#in my opinion at least#she had to do XY and Z to be worthy of thalias love before receiving it#like with her mother#she has to be amazing before Athena is proud of her#vs Athena being proud of her just for being her daughter#that being said I’m not hating on a traumatized child having potentially negative and toxic patterns#more pointing out the comedy of the scene from Percy’s perspective who has a good grasp on healthy vs unhealthy relationships
37K notes
·
View notes
Text
I'm absolutely obsessed with the book of bill, best thing i've ever read and it no joke gave me actual nightmares !! 100/10
#book of bill#gravity falls#gf#bill cipher#art#my art#digital art#artist on tumblr#this was supposed to be a simple fan art because i had to make something#and technically it only took 3 hours which is not much for me#and it's one of the best things ive ever made so i'm happy !#also mild spoiler ->->#but i tried to make it look both like him coming out of the book to getcha#and also like he's trapped into the book and is desperately trying to grasp on you to save him
13K notes
·
View notes
Text
did you know? if you do your laundry you can get your clothes back
#fascinating stuff. let’s see if i (person with the worst executive dysfunction when it comes to doing laundry) remember it#i literally have this issue where i’ll let dirty clothes pile up in the laundry basket for an entire month#like it takes me that long to get around to it#and then- who would’ve thought- i find that i don’t have anything good to wear. strange!#finally did it last night and i’m like ohhh that was so difficult but the payoff finally#augh#peach rambles#hall of fame i guess#shut up about socks. idc.#this was a fun positivity post of sorts it’s about overcoming executive dysfunction#derailing into jokes about losing socks is. it’s not horrible but just boring and annoying#it was supposed to be celebration!! and encouragement!!!
45K notes
·
View notes
Text
was talking with a friend about how some of dunmeshi fаndom misunderstands kabru's initial feelings towards laios.
to sum up kabru's situation via a self-contained modernized metaphor:
kabru is like a guy who lost his entire family in a highly traumatic car accident. years later he joins a discord server and takes note of laios, another server member who seems interesting, so they start chatting. then laios reveals his special interest and favorite movie of all time is David Cronenberg's Crash (1996), and invites kabru to go watch a demolition derby with him
#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#kabru#kabru already added laios as a discord friend. everyone else in the server can see laios excitedly asking kabru to go with him#what would You even Do in this situation. how would YOU feel?#basically: kabru isnt a laios-hater! hes just in shock bc Thats His Trauma. the key part is kabru still says yes#bc he wants to get to know laios. to understand why laios would be so fascinated by something horrific to him#and ALSO bc even while in shock kabru can still tell laios has unique expertise + knowledge that Could be used for Good#even if kabru doesnt fully trust laios yet (bc kabru just started talking to the guy 2 hours ago. they barely know each other)#kabru also understands that getting to know ppl (esp laios) means having to get to know their passions. even if it triggers his trauma here#but thats too much to fit in this metaphor/analogy. this is NOT an AU! its not supposed to cover everything abt kabru or laios' character!#its a self-contained metaphor written Specifically to be more easily relatable+thus easy to understand for general ppl online#(ie. assumed discord users. hence why i said (a non-specific) 'discord server' and not something specific like 'car repair subreddit')#its for ppl who mightve not fully grasped kabru's character+intentions and think hes being mean/'chaotic'/murderous.#to place ppl in kabru's shoes in an emotionally similar situation thats more possible/grounded in irl experiences and contexts.#and also for the movie punchline#mynn.txt#dm text#crossposting my tweets onto here since my friends suggested so
13K notes
·
View notes
Text
[kisses you tenderly on the lips while holding you like my lover] don’t eat any food with mold on it even if you cut the moldy part off ok?
31K notes
·
View notes
Text
i would say that, mentally speaking, i'm in a good place right now! physically of course, the crows continue their chanting,
#'weaving spells with beaks and talons' whatever u wanna call it. sounds like chanting to me#anyway yes. that is a thing that is happening#yes i am aware of it. stop asking.#am i taking steps to stop this thing from happening? how. how the fuck do u suppose i should go about doing that?#yea i've done some dumb shit in my life#no i am NOT about to go INTERFERING with the CROWS
10K notes
·
View notes
Text
some beach babes i started while i was on holiday <3
#bg3#baldur's gate 3#tavstarion#shadowlach#tav#astarion#karlach#shadowheart#i like to think even after they sort out the daywalker thing he's still v light sensitive and crisps after 5 minutes#also the first one was funnier in my head#when in doubt use your tiefling gf as a barbecue#shart isn't made for swimming she's supposed to float on a lilo for 4 hours and that's it
9K notes
·
View notes