#it’s not my job to address what YOU want

[lazyscience]

People feel like astrology works BECAUSE it's so random and unspecific; taking these basically random word association tables of characteristics and vague actions can actually be helpful when you're stuck on something in your head. What it does is give you a fresh perspective/lens you're probably not using, because odds are you wouldn't have arrived at it from a logical analysis of your situation. However, because humans be humaning and what we think is "logical" is frequently full of unrecognized biases and cognitive distortions, it's full of blind spots and under/overestimations.

Trying to fit your issue of "should I apply for this job" or "should I call this person I'm attracted to" or "what should I do about X friend group drama" into "People with Venus in their ninth house should look for investment opportunities this month" isn't logical, but what it DOES do is inspire you to try and think how your personal issue fits into that prompt, which might give you a different but still useful angle to address it with.

For example, if you decide this advice applies to that person you're not sure you should call and come up with 'are they an investment in my future, or are they me wasting my money on a cool hoodie with thumb holes?' the question isn't actually "should I call them" but "are they a good longterm relationship prospect, and if they are is that also something they want?" Which you probably either already know and are just waffling because they're a good lay and the dating market for permanence has been discouraging so why not have a little treat (you know why, it delays finding what you really want), or you don't, so you should call them to make a date and talk more about where you might see things going in future.

So tl;dr things like astrology, tarot cards and other woo-woo divination techniques CAN encourage creative thinking and problem-solving - up to a point, as long as you remember that ANY horoscope forecast or card pull could do the same thing, and it's a thought exercise not someone actually foretelling your future. It's a more complicated and aesthetic way to flip a coin, basically.

Astrology doesn't seem to work.

[bunnys-kisses]

hi bunny!!! can i submit a request for kevin magnussen? something like a mafia!au where he’s big and scary except for when he’s with reader?💞

kevin magnussen

cw: smut/pwp, mafia au, mafia boss!kevin, size difference/kink, doggy style, protective!kevin, reader doesn't know he's mafia, creepy men, mentions of blood and violence, body worship

thank you lovely anon for this idea! i know i usually get bakery submissions, but i do accept other ideas you might have! so this was a pleasant surprise in my inbox!

coming to copenhagen wasn't on your bucket list of dreams. while it was for some, you only took the job because the hours were better. and after a nasty break up only a few months prior, it felt like a good idea to be in another part of the globe. while you missed family, there was something about the unknown that made you pack your belongings (and cat) and head to denmark.

you knew living abroad would have its risks. they were put to rest when you met a tattooed gentleman with the kindest eyes. his name was kevin, kevin magnussen

kevin was an interesting man. you had met him after a blind date fell through and he was at a nearby table by himself. he was waiting for 'friends', but didn't mind spending some time with you. before his 'friends' arrived he ordered you some dessert for after your meal.

he also slipped you a business card and said, "if you need anything in this city, let me know." then smiled at you. the address on the card led to a mechanics shop and kevin told you he owned and "worked" here, but you never saw too many cars come through.

but any questions were met with smiles and promises. you felt a little safer in the city when you were kevin. you one time asked him, "it seems like everyone looks at you when we walk together. or maybe i'm just imagining things."

even though you became accustomed to the public transport of the city. kevin was more than happy to pick you up or drop you off even places like the grocery store. you didn't want to think about all the times he bought you groceries. one time he made you grab another pack of salmon and not to look at the cost. he told you that you can freeze it for a few months. your throat tightened when you saw the price at the check out. but kevin simply paid without a second glance.

maybe you were used to people in your country being paid pennies. you chalked everything up to better wages in denmark.

  “you don't have to pay for things, kevin! really, this job i do pays well enough.” you held onto the front of his zip-up jacket as he carried your groceries back to your apartment. you still didn't know what he saw in you. but, if you couldn't give him the money back, then you'd simply have to keep him smiling. not that it was hard, even your worst jokes made him laugh and wrap his arms around you.

kevin seemed weird, but you found it endearing. when he was all smiles with you, in front of the family he was serious. he could be cold, methodic, dangerous. the light that he brought into your world were the same as the shadows he put into the underbelly of the city. people looked when you went down the street, because it wasn't very often to see him out on the streets. especially with someone so…. cute. 

but, there was something that lingered inside of the danish man you met. kevin saw it with his own two eyes when he entered the bar to meet with you one night. he saw a man at your table trying to chat you up. even with your back turned to kevin, he knew you were uncomfortable. nobody liked unwanted sexual advances.

but you weren't budging giving this man an inch, instead waving him off and eventually he took the cue to leave. but not before he touched you at the small of your back which made you lean away from him in disgust.

kevin saw your mouth move and then take a sip of your drink. at least kevin knew that you could stand up for yourself a little bit. at least enough to get this creep to go away.

eventually he did and when he walked away, kevin followed. no one was touching his girl. you were your own woman of course, you did as you pleased with kevin's support. but, most of the city should've know by now. you were under magnussen protection.

you were too occupied with your drink when the man left for you to notice that kevin had saw the entire thing. and instead of meeting you at your table, he followed the man in the washroom.

kevin wasn't the mechanic he told you he was. the tattoos weren't just from the lifestyle of fixing cars. they all meant something, his past, present and future. his family. his life. the head of an important family in the country. he rolled up his sleeves and the man who was flirting with you noticed him.

"almost done, man." he said as he turned off the tap and shook his hands to dry them. kevin crossed the small bathroom and instantly his fist was in the other man's face. causing him to sprawl out on the tiled floor of the bathroom.

kevin got on one knee down to the other man's level. he grabbed him by the front of the shirt and said, "don't, don't, don't yell." he pulled the bloodied man a little closer, his nose obviously broken, "you're going to leave this place. and you're not going to come back. you do not touch a woman without her permission."

"but i-"

"shh, shh, shh. i saw what you clipped to the back of her pants. a tracker? gps? going to follow her home? kidnap her? sell her? answer me." his voice was firm.

the man looked shaken and bleeding, he was trembling like a leaf at the end of fall. kevin was dangerously close, but didn't want to get blood all over himself. he didn't want you to worry.

"keep yourself out of here. if you don't. not even your dental records will be able to identify you. and if you want a date so badly, stop being a fucking creep." then dropped the man and got up.

the man nodded before he propped himself up against the bottom of the sink. he wiped his bleeding nose and before he could get a word in, kevin was gone.

"min elskede!" kevin's words could be heard and made you look over. you perked up a little bit as your boyfriend sat across from you. you were all smiles now in his presence.

"what happened to your hand?" you asked as you carefully took his hand in yours. you examined the red across his knuckle.

kevin rubbed the top of your head with his other hand, "oh, nothing. i wasn't looking at got it right at the corner of a door. you can kiss it if you want?"

you giggled a little then brought his knuckle to your lips, "what would you do without me, kevin?"

"oh, i don't know. i'd be lost." he smiled back at you.

-

back at your apartment, you were trying to get your socks off. they had little flowers printed on them and were a lovely pair. but it was hard with kevin's lips on your skin.

you squirmed a little and broke the kiss, "please, honey. let me get my clothes off." then burst into giggles when his lips got onto your neck. you ran your fingers through his hair and laughed.

"i can't help it, you're so beautiful." he admitted before he managed to pry himself away from you to let you get undressed. as he undid his button up shirt, he watched you struggle to get out of your jeans and chuckled softly to himself. beautiful little thing you were.

"oh shush." you said as you slipped off your panties, feeling kevin's eyes on you, "i'm alright looking. nothing to write home about."

he took you and pulled him to your chest. he kept those strong arms around you, as if he didn't punch a guy in the face earlier that evening. but, that was simply a part of his life. he had a punch that could kill, but with you. he was so sweet.

eventually you wiggled out of his grasp and got yourself in a further state of undress. soon you naked body was exposed to him and you could feel his hungry gaze on you.

you said as you looked at him, "i'm not a piece of meat, honey."

he reached for you and pulled your naked body next to his. he kissed at your face with such love and said, "of course you're not. you're too important to be meat." then trailed kisses across your body.

you laughed, "oh, c'mon!" you squirmed a little bit and arched your back. your nails rubbed against his scalp. his hips shifted a little bit and his cock rubbed against your thigh.

he knew that if anyone in the family saw him in that moment, they'd think he was a totally different man. the mean boss of the family was reduced to getting head scratches while he worshiped your breasts with his lips.

he said sweet things against you, watching your squirm when his tongue touched your left nipple. he watched your reaction for a moment before he closed his eyes and started to really suck on it. leaving wet trails behind.

his large hands kneaded your breasts and he felt his back arch against you. you felt hot all over and you moaned a little louder. two lovers naked in bed together.

you ran your hands up and down his shoulders, you knew both arms were heavily tattooed. you moaned against his lips before he pulled away and moved away from you. he got you onto your elbows and knees with your ass in the air.

he groped your ass cheek a little bit as he stroked his cock a little bit before he got closer to you once more and rubbed his hard cock up against your slick pussy. he listened to your sweet noises which only excited him more when he slipped his cock in. the angle let him get quite deep inside of you.

"kev!" your back arched a little, "oh. wow! every time." you hit your fist against the bed for a moment. your back arched a little more and you held onto the covers under you.

kevin licked his lips as he kept both hands on you. he loved the feeling of your cunt around his cock. it was his little slice of heaven. all the money from being in the family was something, but to have your sweetness around him made everything feel so much better.

"you're so pretty." he said softly, "you are the most gorgeous thing i had ever laid eyes on. i think about you all day, how much i love you and care for you." he pressed his chest agaisnt your back, then kissed at the back of your shoulders as he rutted against you.

he could feel the pound of his heart as he continued to move against you. his breathing was heavy against your skin as you buried your face into the soft pillows. the pillows he bought for you because you talked so much about how they were just so soft. and you hated to admit that since sleeping with them, your sleeps have improved.

he watched you move a little bit and whine into the covers. you sounded so pretty as he rutted against you. he kissed your shoulders once more.

"please, kev. honey!" you whined.

"you're so beautiful, my love."

his movements continued and the heat in the room grew, especially between the two of you. you could feel the sweat of his chest on your back as he wrapped his arms around you. he kept you close to him as he picked up the pace.

he pushed your further into the bed and worked at your hips. his cock slipped in and out of you perfectly. you were a dream around his cock. the creaking of the bed under you as the two of you made love under the low light of your bedroom.

it was comfortable, it wasn't painful in every way. and it was so good to feel your lover so closely. you panted heavily into the pillows and clutched it tightly. your noises were muffled as he moved. he pressed further into you and knew he wasn't going to last long.

a man capable of such violence was so docile around you. he wanted you so badly. he needed you more than he needed almost anything. his heart sang for you, and when he was away he tried to get home to you as soon as possible.

the dangerous life was common for him, but he didn't want to scare you off. if you knew the truth, would you hate him? would you run away or to the police? would you leave kevin?

he loved you so much, the idea of losing you made him almost scared. he pressed into you as much as he could and fucked you with heavy thrusts. he heard you pant heavily into the covers as he felt the pleasure in his brain.

you whined more as you felt orgasm hit you like a train. you said to your lover, "please, kevin. i love you."

he kissed your cheek and said, "good. because i love you too." then gave a few more thrusts before he finished inside of you with one final movement of his hips. he came with a groan before he slowed to a stop. he rested his face against your shoulder and just let himself feel you for a moment.

"i love you so much." you groaned.

kevin slipped out of you and laid out beside you. you laid next to him and let him wrap himself up around you. like a protective blanket. he pressed soft kisses against you and melted against your heated skin.

he said with his voice close to your ear, "i promise to protect you forever." then kissed the shell of your ear, "all of my days and all of my nights."

you giggled and turned in his arms, "sounds like you're trying to propose to me." your cheeks warmed at the thought.

he smiled down at you, "maybe, but i'll need a ring first." maybe he'll slowly let you into his world. to be closer to him than ever. he wanted you for a lifetime, to love you was an honour as he kept you in his arms while you both calmed down from your climaxes, "it's a secret for now." he said, "have to give you a little surprise."

you buried your face in his chest and giggled, "oh my god, kevin!" you squirmed a little bit on the bed, "you don't need to propose! really! i'm fine being your girlfriend." the idea of marriage made your cheeks hot!

he held your back and smiled into your hair, "even if it is just a ring, you deserve something nice. and if it is pretty enough then no idiot men at the bar will try to make you uncomfortable." he thought about the tracker he took off of you. being married to you was the end goal, but to protect you was a constant in his mind.

he kissed you, tomorrow he'll go ring shopping before his meetings. it'll be a hard choice to pick the perfect ring, but only the best for you. <3

[lovemesomeagnst]

What’s fiddleford and Stans relationship like in your au??

Fiddleford and Stanley sort of embody the roles of Julia and Carmen in this au!

Since Fiddleford is Ford’s partner, I thought it’d make super sense for him to be the one doubtful over Stan’s “misdeeds” because he believes there’s more to it while Ford is so adamant that his brother is wrong and needs to be caught. I figured Stan would find Fiddleford charming and amusing just like how Carmen was always open to seeing Julia.

Depending on the stage of the au, there would be moments where Fiddleford first attempts to capture Stanley because it’s what he believes he should do but as time goes on it grows into more ‘lowkey trying to stop him but actually just wants to see him cause curious by motives and intrigued’.

Stan definitely views Fiddleford as the fun part of any chase because he’s less rash like Ford and more open to try and understand Stan’s perspective. Plus he takes the opportunity to toss a flirting pick-up line or gesture whenever. I feel like Fiddleford knowing about Stan from Ford would want to try and understand both twins and so he approaches Stan a bit friendlier when he realises that Stan isn’t a bad person like his brother claims.

Also Stan trusts Fiddleford enough to hand him over the things he steals for safekeeping and also trusts him enough to involve him in some of his capers should he needs so.

There was also an instance where Stan accidentally breaks into Fiddleford’s home in Palo Alto, California and he runs into Emma-May and Tate. (Like that one scene where Carmen accidentally runs into a family’s home in Rio). When he looks at the pictures hanging on the walls he realises he’s in Fiddleford’s house and apologised profusely and positively influences Tate and adores the short interaction he has with the boy. They don’t really know who he is though. Later, Tate would tell his father about it and Fiddleford would be surprised but pleased that Stanley treated his family well. Stan knowing Fiddleford has a wife would lead to him backing off his flirting advances on Fiddleford the next time they encounter each other.

Also like in the show there’s this brief period where Fiddleford leaves his job to pursue a more peaceful one to cope with the Memory Gun incident with Emma-May (I have lore for this). His relationship with her has already been strained but the incident really broke things and he needed time off to process everything. Stan visits him sometimes to check up on him. Stan also checks in on Tate occasionally and dotes on him after the divorce between Fiddleford and Emma-May. I believe around this stage they get closer since Fiddleford isn’t actively trying to catch him anymore and Stan starts to know more about Fiddleford’s personal life while Fiddleford gets to know more about Stan outside his capers. Stan obviously has a soft spot for Fiddleford so he is gentle and charming and sweet towards him, respecting Fiddleford’s boundaries after the divorce.

Around that stage Fiddleford starts realising that he likes Stan a lot and could possibly want to be more than a friend (because they’re basically friends at that point) and Stan starts flirting back and after like Fiddleford gets more comfortable obviously. Stan has always sorta knew he liked Fiddleford because how could he not but he never really addresses it cause he doesn’t really know if there’s ever a proper time to. They sorta know they both like the other because it’s so obvious so then I guess they’re in a mutual I like you phase but haven’t acted on it yet.

Then everything goes bad when Stan gets brainwashed like how Carmen got brainwashed to become evil. In my au this happens through the use of the Memory Gun that had fallen into the wrong hands (much like how Stan lost his memory in canon but this ain’t some sacrifice against a triangle demon unfortunately). Fiddleford would be devastated and at that point really comes to terms that he does, really, superbly, loves Stan and works with Ford and Team Red and the others to bring him back obviously.

Once that whole debacle ends Stan and Fiddleford would talk things out together and work it out!!

Then they kiss!!

Some fiddlestan art I already posted here

[ask-lps-staff-au]

Russell: To deepen the bond we have with our customers *cough cough* and to get our sales up *cough cough* we created this blog for you all to get in touch with us. Today, I’m going to introduce the rest of the staff here so you know who to address your questions to. Starting with-

Vinnie: ME ME ME!!!!

Russell: Yes, Vinnie, You.

Russell: What you do.

Vinnie: Ohhh! I like to dance :) 

Russell: No, what is your job?

Vinnie: Man, you should’ve just said that! My job is… well I lift heavy things sometimes? Like dog food and kitty litter. That kinda thing. Mostly just chill, though. That good?

Russell: You know what? Yes. That’s perfect, Vinnie

Vinnie: Sweet.

Russell: Minka, sorry to cut you short but can we have your name and job please?

Minka: I was just getting to that part! Anyways, my name’s Minka Mark, and I’m the cashier here, you hear?

Russell: Loud and clear, Minka.

Russell: They aren’t lines, just say it how you normally would!

Vinnie: Yeah, you just gotta say it Zoe-ey!

Zoe: Zoe-ey? Oh, that’s it!

Zoe: *singing* Yeahh Yeaaahhh~ The name’s Zoe~ And now you know-y~

Zoe: *back to talking* Oh, yeah. I’m in charge of grooming the pets.

Russell: Ohhh-kay. Let’s move on.

Pepper: Serious as I can be. Number 1: what has four legs in the morning, two legs in the afternoon, and three legs at night?

Russell: A man.

Pepper: Correctomundo, but are you ready for riddle number 2? What gets wetter the more it dries?

Russell: A towel. Are you just reading off a list of the top ten most basic riddles or what?

Pepper: I’ll answer that but you’ll have to answer three more riddles. Last one: the man who invented it doe-

Minka: HER NAME IS PEPPER CLARK AND SHE TAKES CARE OF THE DAYCARE PETS!!!

Pepper: Dangit.

Russell: Thank you, Minka.

Russell: Probably like 10 people at most.

Vinnie: But, hey! You never know if the algorithm could pick it up! You could be talking to millions of people right now!

Sunil: Millions?! Eek!

Russell: *sigh* That’s Sunil. Talk to him if you ever need help finding anything. I promise he’s more helpful than he looks right now.

Russell: … that’s it?

Penny: Was there supposed to be more?

Russell: No, this is just the smoothest interview I’ve had all day. I’m kinda shocked.

Penny: Well, I’m glad I did good.

Russell: Yep.

Both: …

Blythe: Ruff ruff!

Russell: Oh, yeah, that’s right! Don’t forget to check out Blythe-Style pet clothes which you can find on the racks in the front of the store (which are made by a different Blythe and not this Blythe. A human Blythe. Obviously because why would a dog make clothes!! That’s absurd!!! Almost as crazy as a group of people who can understand ANIMALS hahahaha!!!)

Russell: Those questions aren’t- Whatever. Ask us anything, I guess.

---

Hello, and welcome to the ((very much unofficial))* Littlest Pet Shop page! Please drop any questions you have for us in our inbox - Best, R. Ferguson

*((this is in no way related to or authorized by hasbro or the Littlest Pet Shop brand. This is a fan project fully made for entertainment purposes. I make no profit from this.))

((Hello!!!! Double parentheses mean that I, the person who runs this blog aka @octodrawn, am speaking. I wanted to give you a couple guidelines before you submit anything. If you’re interested, please click read more!

I want to start this off by saying I am a human person with responsibilities, boundaries and a lack of free time so it may take a while to answer your ask. I also have the right to not answer every ask I receive.

We are keeping things generally PG/PG-13 here, so that means Minimal swearing, no violence, Minimal references to drug use, nothing sexual except for maybe the occasional ‘I did your mom last night’ type jokes because they are funny to me.

This is primarily an art ask blog, but I will only use text for posts on occasion.

I’m not gonna put a cap on ‘what do you think of __ x __’ questions for now, but if they become a majority of questions asked, then I will. Currently, no ships are canon in this AU, so don’t expect any answers to say anything differently.

Don’t take the setup of this blog being diegetic too seriously. If you want to send something that’s like *gives them all cookies* or *transforms them into turtles* I won’t stop you.

Have fun and be yourself :-)

Please keep this in mind before asking anything. This is all for fun, so please don’t take this too seriously.

I’ll be making a tag list soon but feel free to send asks now :3))

[uniquethingtastemaker]

Ok, now that I’ve mentioned how I think both Vil and Riddle’s overblots could’ve been prevented, I also think Jamil’s could’ve as well.

If someone realized a little earlier in the chapter that Jamil had a problem with Kalim and he was up to something, then there was a real chance to prevent this situation from getting so out of hand.

If you told him, “hey, you know Kalim is dumb. If you don’t tell him you have a problem with him, he’s not gonna know. You got all the brain power out of the two of you. That being said, Kalim is a very empathetic and generous person. He cares about you. He think you’re his best friend. If you just told him how you feel and how you have a problem with some of his behaviors, then he would do everything to make your relationship work. He knows that he’s not the best dorm leader, but you’ve never told him that you felt that it was taken away from you. It might seem really obvious to you, but clearly nobody else has noticed, so there’s a problem. If you just told him, he would give you the seat. It’s not even like a possibility situation, he straight up would. He doesn’t care much about it, so if you do, he would give it to you in a heartbeat. He values your relationship above all else. It’s not that hard. I don’t know why you’re trying to do this in such convoluted way. It’s not efficient and really risky.”

I can’t imagine he wouldn’t take this advice. He’s not my favorite character, so I’m not sure, but he seems to value efficiency. It would make sense cause he’s always babysitting Kalim and having to run around.

He would bring up the whole family expectation problem, but there’s a counter to that too. “While it’s true that nobody in our vicinity knows the answer, somebody does. Kalim has the resources to get you that help and is more than willing. Get a professional. Go to a therapist. They’ll tell you how to navigate this situation. Why aren’t you taking advantage of Kalim’s resources? If you feel that you’re taking an unfair advantage of him, then make your relationship work with him. That’s something that’s going to be a challenge for you, but that’s what he wants. He has all the physical needs he could ever wish for, but the most important thing to him is his relationship with you.”

You would also have to bring up how to solve his feelings and problems with Kalim, because that was what has really been getting in the way and fostering his feelings of condescension. “You need to put boundaries on your relationship. He wouldn’t be offended and would understand. If you don’t want to be stuck in a servant role, you’re gonna have to set boundaries. Kalim is under the impression that you would tell him if something’s wrong even if that’s not how you feel. He doesn’t mind changing if it will help you. That’s enough of a motivation for him to push through hard times and overcome some of his weaknesses. Besides, the reason why he doesn’t know anything is cause you do everything for him. You’re enabling him. If you want to get out of this role, you’ll have to tell him some of the things you’re really worried about if you leave him. He would listen to you. He would do what you ask even if he doesn’t understand everything. That’s how much he trusts you. So, you might have teach him things you would have to watch out for like poisoning and assassination attempts, but he can learn. It would be a good idea to find someone who meets your standards in terms of a replacement to your job. Kalim isn’t that self sufficient, but you’ll be able to find somebody and would’ve already created a fail safe so that if something happens Kalim knows what to do.”

You would also have to address Jamil’s fear that if he becomes his own persona and drifts away from Kalim that he wouldn’t help and support him. Just tell him “Kalim thinks of you as family. You’re gonna always be important to him no matter how close or far apart you are. Kalim cares about you and loves you unconditionally. If you need his help, you’re gonna be his first priority. That’s never going to change. He’ll give you anything you ask for.”

I’ve stated my case and I’m sticking to it. Tell me what you think

[communistkenobi]

ok conclave thots (spoilers)

trying very hard to set aside my feelings on the Catholic Church to evaluate this movie. It’s quite beautiful, everything has a very solid physical presence, big wooden doors thunking, columns of stone and marble, thick robes, luxurious physical sets. Really enjoyed the cinematography. The cast was all really enjoyable aside from Stanley Tucci, not bc he’s a bad actor but I could not be sold on him being a cardinal. he seemed generally out of place. Although he was clearly there to be a bit ‘out of place’ as a figure for liberal Catholics, like definitely the type of guy who would think creating an anime girl avatar for the Catholic Church would be a good move to modernise the church. Actually maybe he was good in that movie I change my mind.

He did also demonstrate the complete failure of liberalism to respond to right wing rhetoric - all he says in response to Tedesco’s islamophobic rant about the need for religious intolerance is “you should be ashamed of yourself!”, just totally unable to address Tedesco’s fixation on conducting religious warfare. The film is centred around the church’s need to manage its public image, making multiple references to the recent international outcry over the church’s systemic sexual abuse problems, its homophobia & anti-abortion views that are increasingly falling out of favour, and the general trouble the church has with the press. There is a clear emerging clash between tradcaths and liberal Catholics that are fighting for dominance in the church. The film ultimately finds synthesis between these two poles in Benitez, a man who conducted missions in ‘war torn’ countries such as the Congo and Afghanistan (thus having a more genuine connection to religious intolerance than privileged, out of touch conservatives like Tedesco) but despite that still desires to promote unity and tolerance, and at the last hour is revealed to be an intersex man who was counselled by the pope to get a hysterectomy (and decided against it), as if literally embodying the tension between these two positions within the church. Not sure how I feel about that lol, intersex characters are so rare and he’s not treated as a punchline, they even do the “born this way” thing with it as like god made him intersex. so like props for that I guess.

overall a very goofy person’s idea of power and politics but it was a fun watch and I had a good time. Kinda soured on how ridiculous it is that Benitez would pull a super-majority from a single speech to Tedesco about him not knowing anything about “real war” and the need for unity - like idk I remember learning about Mehmet Ali Acğa’s assassination attempt of the pope and how virulently Islamophobic the response was from the public & media, the idea that there would be a “Muslim terrorist” bombing (they leave it vague in the movie but that’s clearly what’s being evoked) in Rome that damaged the building or church or wherever the cardinals were, and the cardinals didn't all immediately side with Tedesco is pretty mind boggling lmao. Again trying very hard to set aside my thoughts on history and religious politics and just have a fun time with this one, but it’s hard to distance those things when the history being dealt with is so recent.

Ralph Fiennes owns in this movie though, great job from him and just what I wanted out of a Ralph Fiennes character. I really liked this review of it on Letterboxd

[smallishzine]

hey guys thank you for the lovely responses to the interest form, I appreciate everyone calling me handsome and amazing and tall, and also to everyone calling me an idiot you’re in fact correct but guess what you’re the one filling out the form and I’m the one who made it so shut up shut up hahahaha. Sorry. I don’t mean that, please don’t shut up I’ll be very sad if everyone shuts up and I’ll have no one to talk to. This post is to address some of the things that you pointed out as us having forgotten, and we preemptively apologize for burying important info in this mess. It’s like a scavenger hunt! Or bureaucracy. Take your pick.

how humble we are (true, true. So humble. The humblest.)

smallishbeans (I’m fairly certain we remembered this one)

an ego check (yup, still there)

Eefo (you’re so right it’s a crime that we’ve forgotten him we will rectify this mistake immediately)

many variations of “timeline?” which we answered in this post

that you, the form fillers, are tall and handsome as well (indeed)

that one of you was watching shrek 2 as they filled out the form (good job. We approve. Not that you should care what random people on the internet think of your taste in movies, but 👍)

more smallishbeans (it’s like they knew)

how much one of you loves ldshadowlady, sparkle heart emoji (true and real. Only correct take. We also love ldshadowlady)

chicken murder (we decided to put the chicken murder before the form rather than in it, so as not to distract from your form filling experience. We apologize if this isn’t what you wanted, we will be sure to include more chicken murder in future forms.)

A spot for obvious professionals in form filling to rate the form, so they had to do it in the what did we forget box. we received the following ratings: 5/10, 10/10 (< a genuine thank you to whoever submitted this one), 0/10 (:(), 7.3/15, 6/20, and several more

multiple variations of “age limit?” Which we answered in this post

Jeremys blessing (which we actually didn’t forget you stupid idiot haha I’m sorry I don’t know what came over me I promise you are not a stupid idiot even if you don’t finish reading forms before submitting)

that one of you likes shrek but is cooler than us so really the form is egregiously incorrect (egregious is a bit harsh. More, stupendously incorrect! Or, fantastically incorrect! Also, if you’re so cool, why don’t you prove it by participating in the zine huh? Huh? Thought so. 😎)

That I am cool, and I haven’t forgotten but you wanted to remind me (I am mod Dinn and I approve this message)

our epic arson related plan of action for when the ship burns (I’m afraid I have some bad news for you…)

“Can I join??” (yes)

hey it’s you dailyboatboys let you in let you in let you in (absolutely)

other words of affirmation that we greatly appreciate. Everyone who called me cool, handsome, amazing, and other good things or who complimented the form or who expressed excitement and interest in the zine hold a special place in my heart. I read through every response so far and to every person who said that I was really cool, or that they were super excited for the zine, or that the interest form was really good, or that they were so down participate, thank you. Now enough with being sappy back to answering questions, lightly worded hate mail, and people who are also obsessed with Joel smallishbeans!

you’re all idiots (due to limited funds we cannot afford to purchase our own suggestion box, so we are currently borrowing the permit office’s. Did you hear that sound that sounds exactly like sizzling lava consuming a piece of paper with your eloquently worded submission on it? That’s the sound of our complaints department hard at work to remedy this issue. Thank you for filling out the form!)

can you write ships? (This is a really complicated question which we have a lot to say on so we’ll make a separate post explaining more in depth, but the gist is: yes, but that yes has an asterisk attached with a footnote a mile long)

a spot for ideas about what pieces you may contribute, which is actually a good point we’ll probably poll about what things people most want to see/art pieceify (writing is art too) at some point. As for your admission of obsession, gender-neutral-dude, what do you think we are?

these are just some of the responses we received, thank you to everyone who has filled the form out so far, and you haven’t, what are you doing here go fill out that form!!

-mod Dinn

[asm5129]

…after the civil war, a few key mistakes were made.

the south’s economy was destroyed because it was reliant on slave labor, and never really fully recovered. And suffering breeds resentment.

On top of this, no one *wants* to believe their ancestors fought for something objectively evil. So the states rights narrative was appealing.

And in trying to heal the divide in America, many confederate leaders were not granted simply mercy in the form of a pardon, but actively given power once more.

And while slavery was dead (outside of prisons, anyway), black Americans were still considered inferior. The Reconciliation era included tremendous violence against black Americans.

In many ways white Americans healed through white supremacy.

Essentially, concessions were made to heal the divide that ultimately failed to address the problem that caused the war in the first place—whether anyone other than white men were included in the phrase “all men are created equal”.

Healing division inevitably includes concessions and compromise, but the way it was done in the aftermath of the civil war was fundamentally flawed because it treated a problem that still existed as if it had been solved. When you let racists back in power, they will do more racist things, whether or not the institution of slavery for African Americans still exists.

When we try to heal from where this country is now, we must learn from that history. People in the south don’t deserve for people to see them get hit by a deadly hurricane and hand wave it away as “they got what they voted for”, but neither should we allow those who have lead red states down the path of fascism have a say in what healing looks like.

In order to reconcile with one another, we have to be willing to sit down and have conversations with one another like people. There will be people who are not willing to do that, or who will try to take advantage of it, and we can prepare for that.

But we do need to be able to coexist.

We can start with the basics. Do people have enough stability? Can they afford food? Do they have support when they need it?

And then we can talk to them about what they need to address that.

It’s telling that the main issue people voted for Trump for was the economy. People are suffering, and even though Kamala’s economic proposal was very good she didn’t always do the best job explaining it, especially for those who would need it most who are often not super educated. And ultimately it wasn’t enough of a change, and what’s more, it asked people to be patient and not angry. Trump is able to gain the support he has because he taps into deep suffering and anger and gives it a target.

Kamala didn’t give legitimacy to that anger the way they needed.

these are my thoughts on healing the division in America, i suppose. I hope you find them interesting.

**Btw, these thoughts are mainly informed by information from the documentary *Civil War (or Who Do We Think We Are)* and the book *Democracy Awakening* by Heather Cox Richardson, both of which I highly recommend to help grasp a deeper understanding of why America is where it is today.

[teabeexo]

𝚃𝚎𝚊'𝚜 𝙼𝚊𝚒𝚗 𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚜: 𝚃𝚊𝚋𝚋𝚢

✿ ↳ ❝ You need to go,

to where the dark remembers you

Open up your heart

Like the gates of Hell

You stay soft, you get beaten

Only natural to harden up... ❞

✧˚ · . - "Stay Soft" Mitski

𝚃𝚊𝚋𝚒𝚝𝚑𝚊 𝙻𝚢𝚗𝚗 𝚆𝚒𝚗𝚍𝚜𝚘𝚛

✿ The Basics ✿

Age(s): Step 1 - 10, Step 2 - 14, Step 3 - 18, Step 4 - 22

Birthday: April 3rd

Gender: Demigirl (she/they)

Ethnicity: Hawaiian and Swedish

Height: 5'4" (as of step 4)

Significant Other: Qiu Lin

Role: Main character in my OL:NF universe.

✿ Lore (past) ✿

Tabitha Windsor was born in Orono, Maine on April 3rd. Her mother, Opal Windsor, had Tabitha through artificial semination. Growing up, her household only consisted of her and her mother. Though considered unorthodox by many of the locals in her town, Tabitha was perfectly happy with the serenity and closeness that was garnered as a result of her upbringing.

The Windsors were not particularly wealthy during Tabitha’s childhood. Though most of her early memories originate from Orono, the Windsors moved around quite frequently in order to keep up with her mother’s job. Despite the fact that Opal would do her best to relieve Tabitha of any sort of stress or worry in relation to their finances, Tabby would internalize a lot of the anxiety that she perceived Opal was feeling. In response, she developed a complex where she often viewed herself as being her family's caretaker and protector.

Their norm changed when Tabitha, who preferred the nickname Tabby at this point, and her mother moved across-state to Golden Grove, Oregon. This bode well for the Windsors, seeing as they’d moved for a huge promotion in Opal’s work. Practically, the move was fantastic for them. They’d never been so comfortable! Internally, though, Tabby was struggling.

Tabby was in full self-preservation mode and would shut down around anyone except her mom. Trust is the fundamental aspect that Tabby needs to even have the bare bones of a relationship. Naturally, she didn't have that with anybody when she first moved. Everyone was a stranger. Thus, nobody warranted her trust or friendliness.

This pattern was disrupted when she met a certain kid, who just happened to double as her neighbor. Qiu Lin. It was odd. He was odd to her -- in the best way. Regardless of how cold or snappish she was, his attitude towards her remained the same. And, somehow, she seemed to intrinsically trust him because of his overtly accommodating nature. Here, a fixation with him starts.

Her first interactions with her other neighbor, Tamarack, start off rather iffy. Tabby immediately closes Tamarack off because she sees Tam as unpredictable and erratic (exactly what Tabby loathes). Tabby could tolerate her, but never tried to approach the bubbly ginger as a friend. Over time, though, they slowly develop a positive relationship. As aforementioned, it's all about building trust for her.

Unfortunately, all the positive rapport made seems to regress as she approaches adolescence. Her crush on Qiu develops into a more severe fixation. In a sense, they become like the crux of her life. She bases her worth around their approval of her -- and actively changes herself to fit the mold that she assumes they would like. It's very self-destructive for her esteem. She's not very liked among her peers in highschool because she is seen as unapproachable and harsh. That’s mostly due to her chronic resting-bitch-face. She's actually extremely patient and compassionate when approached, but most don't bother breaching that barrier.

Her mom eventually intervenes whenever she realizes that Tabby's feelings towards Qiu need to be addressed and worked through. And, eventually, it does get better! It just takes her a while. By the time she’s nearly fifteen, she actually has a heart-to-heart with Qiu about it. They both agree they have feelings for each other, but make the active choice not to date because they both have issues they want to sort out first.

Tamarack and Tabby's relationship, in turn, deteriorates because their older personalities begin to grate against each other. Tamarack's serene and bashful nature strongly contrasts Tabby's. Tamarack's personality entirely changing undoes a lot of the trust they'd established, since Tabby views Tamarack as an entirely different person.

By the time Tabby turns eighteen, she starts publicly using she/they (with no preference). Her and Qiu also start dating slightly after they both turn eighteen. Tabby starts volunteering a local animal shelter which is really good for her mental health!

Her and Opal are still extremely close, but they've mellowed out quite a bit and take a step back from her protective tendencies.

Them and Tamarack are able to establish strong communication once again, and can eventually overcome to the awkwardness that tainted their relationship. Really, it just required effort on both of their parts. They’re able to be good friends, but never become best friends, as Tamarack would have liked when they were children.

Everything is likely to change as more OL:NF content becomes available. But for now, this is the overview of Tabby!

✿ Lore (present/ongoing) ✿

N/A until Step Four comes out/we get more info!

✿ Relationships ✿

Parents: Opal Windsor and unnamed sperm donor

Siblings: N/A.

Aunts: Currently N/A.

Cousins: Currently N/A.

S/O: Qiu Lin

Notable Friends: Tamarack Baumann, Diana (my OC), Renee Murray, Jade Foljn, Mina Linwood (my OC)

(*ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)ꕤ*.ﾟ

𝙰𝚛𝚝 𝙲𝚊𝚝𝚊𝚕𝚘𝚐𝚞𝚎

Tabby’s S1 and S3 designs. (Art done by me)

(Art below by @humanlypotsand)

✿ Epilogue (Artist/Author's notes) ✿

Hello everyone! Thanks for bearing with me while I finally decided what/who my Qiu!MC was going to be! It was definitely a wild ride, and in total I cycled through two whole characters before deciding on Tabby.

Tabby herself has turned out to be a character that I really enjoy writing and drawing. I like the themes that I chose to explore in her lore, and I find myself relating to them in a lot of small ways.

I didn’t overtly talk about it above, but Tabby’s whole motif is cats/felines — hence the nickname Tabby! In S2 she even hides a litter of kittens in Qiu’s fort. And, of course, she later dedicates their life to the care of animals.

Thanks for reading this far!

Also thank you to @lov3-from-loserlane and @humanlypotsand for letting me yap about them!!

𝙴𝚡𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚗𝚊𝚕 𝙻𝚒𝚗𝚔𝚜

Spotify playlist: coming soon! (wip)

Moodboard: coming soon! (as soon as I figure out how to make one)

Pinterest Board: coming soon! (wip)

[graciehart]

ugh. One of the parents I work with spends her entire time with the parent partner complaining about me and I’m so tired of it

[good-beanswrites]

Hear me out:

Kotoko adopted Es, and Fuuta went ballistic.

Rip Fuuta... he can never catch a break... Asdfsdf thank you for this, it was a blast thinking of all the ridiculous ways this could have played out! (One possibility I toyed with was Fuuta's competitive instincts take over, he fights her for Es, only to realize too late "*I* don't want to be responsible for a whole child WAIT") It's a similar format to the last one, with a knock-at-the-door reveal, but I still think it works 😂

“Don’t fuck with me, Es.”

“I would never.”

Lying brat. Fuuta knew they would every chance that they got. It was the reason he was so relieved that Es decided to find somewhere else to live after Milgram’s end. Fuuta had nothing left to fear from his former warden, but the others’ suggestions that Es become his new roommate still made him shudder. Three interrogations in a closed space with the rude kid were enough for him, thank you very much.

However, it wasn’t all a relief. He couldn’t help feeling concerned about who they’d gone to live with. Given how cryptic they were being, Fuuta would have been convinced they walked into the woods to find a furry family of Jackalopes or something to raise them –except, they showed up for this walk with clean clothing and internet access. 

“I don’t believe you. You’re fucking with me right now. Why can’t you just tell me who it is?” 

“It isn’t any of your concern. Hey, I thought you swore to stay out of others’ business. You turned over a new leaf and all that?”

“Tch. I meant other people’s business. You’re different.” 

If Es had vanished off the grid like some of the other prisoners, Fuuta wouldn’t have cared. But they were here, near enough to arrange some lame meetup, which meant they were going to remain in his life for a while longer. And that meant, as the model citizen that Fuuta was, he felt responsible for ensuring they didn’t get themselves kidnapped by some creep. 

He asked, “how much do you know about them, anyway? I mean, what kind of person can house a random weird kid on incredibly short notice? That’s definitely suspicious.”

Fuuta pulled the mask up on his face as they turned down a more crowded street. He knew people were going to gawk at his eye anyways, but it still helped him feel like he was blending in. With his thoughts on the injury for a moment, he was glad that bitch Kotoko was one of the prisoners who had gone off the grid. Good riddance.

“I promise, she’s fine. Not weird with children at all. In fact, she’s really good with them, which is why she could help me on such short notice.” They muttered, “but it’s not like I’m that young…”

“That’s still not normal. Is she some old housewife or something?”

“Ah, are you trying to do the interrogation this time? Actually, I’d say she’s around your age.”

“It’s just you two living alone? I’m still worried about Milgram coming looking for us again – can a girl like that really protect you?”

“Is everyone supposed to live with a big, strong man, like you?”

“Wha–!” Fuuta’s cheeks burned red. “That’s not what I –!”

“I’m only teasing. It’s cute that you care about me.”

That only agitated him more. “It’s not cute! I’m being realistic! One of us has to think about your safety while you’re just distracted by some pretty girl.”

“What makes you think she’s pretty?”

“Well, why else would you be so careless in deciding to live with her?”

All of the sudden, he saw it in Es’ eyes: that spark of mischief that Fuuta had come to loathe. He could never tell what they were plotting, but it was never a good sign.

Es held up their hands in mock surrender. They put on a ridiculous, overdramatic voice. “Ah, you caught me, Fuuta! I’m hiding her identity because she’s the most beautiful, capable woman in all of Japan, and I want to keep her all to myself!” 

He groaned, but they weren’t deterred. “She’s got everything, I couldn’t risk you falling for her! She’s quite capable of defending me. She’s very strong, with protective instincts much like your own. She understands our situation like no one else could. She’s got intense eyes, and you wouldn’t believe her singing voice. She enjoys deep conversations, she’s a dog person, she –”

“ – now you’re being the creep! Just shut up, I get it already...”

When they finally had the decency to pull it together, they reassured him. “It’s all true, though. So there’s no need to worry about me. I’m in good hands.”

Good hands, his ass. In only a brief conversation, the caretaker had gone from sounding a little suspicious to sounding way too good to be true… meaning she was extremely suspicious.

“Maybe someday I’ll introduce you, if you’re lucky...”

He turned his eyes away. “At least let me run some background checks on her first.” 

(He would just stalk her on social media, but that still counted.)

“You’re just going to stalk her on social media. That doesn’t count.”

“Eh? I have legit methods!” He hid deeper under his mask.

Even after the topic was dropped, after he and Es parted ways on an awkward goodbye, Fuuta was left thinking about this mystery woman. It took a bit of digging (and maybe a tiny bit of social media stalking) but at last he found where Es lived with this stranger. Contrary to what they may believe, he had turned over a new leaf. There would be no more hiding behind screens or letting others do the confrontation for him. Now that he was a changed person, he’d do the healthy and normal thing with this information: he’d march on down there himself and confront her like a man. 

He made it all the way to the front door with his chin high. He knocked with confidence. 

Then he began to shift nervously. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t get the woman’s description out of his head. Sure, he was here to check on Es, but if someone happened to check him out at the same time, it was only right to be prepared… He straightened his shirt collar. He ran his fingers through his hair. He wondered if he should have covered up his eye to look more presentable.

The door swung open. 

The surprise on Kotoko’s face was nowhere near the amount on Fuuta’s.

“Oh, for fucks sake –!”

From somewhere behind her, Es’ laughter rang out.

[gobbluthbutagirl]

spent wayyyyy too long doomscrolling reddit(the same website where people act like you are literally going to drop dead immediately if you move to los angeles without a car and $100,000 in your bank account) threads about the current job market in los angeles and it’s uhhhhh not encouraging. but i also didn’t drop dead immediately when i moved to los angeles without a car or $100,000 the first time. so who can never really know

[melancholic-pigeon]

Okay this is the *actual* last comment, for real, but I just found out Spider is now smearing me as a convert and accusing me of being involved with drama I was not involved with because he mistakenly attributed my apologies for his public temper tantrum as being about something unrelated.

THIS IS A FALSE ACCUSATION and I do not appreciate having yet another bit of fake malicious intent falsely ascribed to my actions and* attributing a completely unrelated attack to me.

Also, it's very sad and disappointing whenever a Jew gets mad at a convert because something else is going on in the Jew's life and the convert happens to be in the splash zone and the Jew falls over backwards to smear the convert and invalidate her faith.

Just....the childish aggression is making me so, so sad and disappointed, from someone I used to think very highly of, who is now lying about me and publicly smearing me with false accusations based on a conflict he started because he misinterpreted something I said and I went out of my way to give him the benefit of the doubt when trying to clear up the mistake HE MADE that led him to decide bullying and attacking me for three fucking days was appropriate and okay and that I'm the bad guy for saying it's wildly unprofessional to behave like this in public to a former customer face.

Sorry, but facts, reality, linear time and the truth of what I actually said and did are on my side here, and I will not stand for being smeared and attacked and shat all over because I had the gall to try to kindly resolve his uncalled for, unjustified temper tantrum.

I am also not sorry that I left a side note in the tags that it was also unacceptable for HIM to drag his daughter into a stupid internet slapfight based on his own reading comprehension failure. Because it was and is unacceptable, and she needs to hear that message from someone.

End of story. Keep digging that hole as long as you like, Spider. It's not helping your case and is continuing to make you look progressively worse and more unreasonable, and the only person you have to blame is yourself.

*revised for clarity

[monstermoviedean]

at the end of my fucking rope with "conversations" about k12 chronic absenteeism.

[faggling]

I love taking care of people omggg 😍😍😍

[anotherpapercut]

bro what the fuck are they doing with my package