#and then you have the cousin issues | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

none-tadashi-left-hiro · 6 months ago

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It's like....m my voice and my actions have the power to influence things.... But yet something always stays the same.... And to what extent does it change things..... Is there ever positive everlasting change from any of my actions......... What am I doing all of this forrrr who am I doing it for.......

#mommy issues will fuck you up #and then you have the cousin issues #and big brother issues #and eldest daughter syndrome issues #this feels so weird like it feels like #depression is hovering in the corner and I'm not spiraling into it #but it's there because how do I even process and address the gargantuan amount of unresolved issues around family stuff #i got so many jobs and moved so many times and challenged myself to bond with so many new people #and for whatttttt #for what!!!!!!!!#i don't care abt it all making sense or anythinf #i just have no concept of tangible progress from any of my efforts #so like #what am I even doing what do I even want to dooooo #i want to take a class.#i want. tangible progress #i don't need to be making progress all the time #that is okay #but #unresolvednesss is happening and it feels Bad #i need conclusions #resolved things #so I can begin a next chapter of whoever me is #do I even #i think I do #want to still get good at art professionally #but I want to bond with people over eating mayo at 3 am again #and sometimes I wonder if holding on to professional art stuff too much gets in the way of that #they can be one and the same #i just need to not even be brave but get overrrr myself

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