#what am I even doing what do I even want to dooooo
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It's like....m my voice and my actions have the power to influence things.... But yet something always stays the same.... And to what extent does it change things..... Is there ever positive everlasting change from any of my actions......... What am I doing all of this forrrr who am I doing it for.......
#mommy issues will fuck you up#and then you have the cousin issues#and big brother issues#and eldest daughter syndrome issues#this feels so weird like it feels like#depression is hovering in the corner and I'm not spiraling into it#but it's there because how do I even process and address the gargantuan amount of unresolved issues around family stuff#i got so many jobs and moved so many times and challenged myself to bond with so many new people#and for whatttttt#for what!!!!!!!!#i don't care abt it all making sense or anythinf#i just have no concept of tangible progress from any of my efforts#so like#what am I even doing what do I even want to dooooo#i want to take a class.#i want. tangible progress#i don't need to be making progress all the time#that is okay#but#unresolvednesss is happening and it feels Bad#i need conclusions#resolved things#so I can begin a next chapter of whoever me is#do I even#i think I do#want to still get good at art professionally#but I want to bond with people over eating mayo at 3 am again#and sometimes I wonder if holding on to professional art stuff too much gets in the way of that#they can be one and the same#i just need to not even be brave but get overrrr myself
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I need to “do it scared” my way into writing smut but I’m too nervous to even open a word doc skskskssk
#I am afraid!!!!#I have a few smut one shot ideas that I wanna write but I am so nervy#bc I’m like… what if it’s terrible or the premise is too dark and people think it’s weird and also what if it’s not even hot#but I wanna see if I like writing smut!!!#and I plan to add smut to roomie Sukuna but I don’t want my First Time(tm) to be in that series bc idk what im doing yet!!!#i have the mentality of a high school boy who doesn’t wanna lose his virginity to the girl he likes bc he wants to be able to impress her#AAAAA idk what to dooooo#(the answer is do it scared)#samaras yapping
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#after a bus to a plane to a train to the underground to the room im staying in...im back in london#my calves are in their own personal layer of hell and my feet hate me but I HAD SO MUCH FUCKING FUNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#also??? the guys i shared a hostel with???? were so fucking hot oh my god. there were 3 guys and me which i wasn't. expecting. BUT.#the one in the bunk above me was australian and he was nice enough to give me a usb port thing for my phone and i think#i think i fell in love with him he was so prettyyyyyyyyyyyy#never got his name. but ill remember him and his charger fondly#he even let me keep it which was super sweet#but my birthday is in 2 days and then next week is edinburgh and my TATTOO!!!!!!!!#cannot express how much is happening and how happy i am i genuinely dont think ive been this excited about life in. at least a decade.#i dont want this trip to end and i know i still have like 2 weeks but i dont want to GOOOOOO#but also i DOOOOO bc then i have BRASIL with my grandparents and im just FGBHJK<JHBGVBHNJ#sometimes i cannot believe this is my life but like then i remember the shell of a human being i was just a year ago and im like.#no ya know what i deserve this.#anyway yes im alive and now i need to go pass the fuck out. miss you all im sorry to everyone i still need to reply to. i havent forgotten.#and i will do it!!!!!!!!! but time is hard. for obvious reasons. hope you are all well and im sending everyone kisses ilyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!#personal
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ggguys whatvis tumblr etiquette like
am i meant to reblog a bunch of stuff ir?? because rn my blog is just stuff i’ve said/made grbfjnenfkg
#rambling#like i’m scared that i’m being impolite or sm even though it’s an internet app where nobody knows who i am lmao#i’ve only really been keeping my blog blank-ish so that i can find things i’ve said#and also because everything i like/reblog is stuff i wanna go back and see all over again#like do i not do that and just???? idk?? what is internet etiquette!!???!? i don’t want to be mean!!!#gUYS WHAT DO I DOOOOO
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mission failed we’ll get em next time 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
#i literally can’t quit omg i feel so fucking bad. it wasn’t so bad this time but also HE LITERALLY FORCED ME TO COME OUT LKKE GIRL HELLO???#he cornered me and asked me if redacted had to do w my s*duality and i was like ummmmm. yeah 🫣 and he was like now why didn’t you say that#the first time 🤨 and i was like …………. 😳. AND THEN i asked him why he asked me that and he said he’s been waiting for the right moment to ge#it out of me and he always suspected it LIKE HELLO I THINK THAT IS POSSIBLY WILDLY INAPPROPRIATE I WANTED TO DIEEEEEE#and i lied right to his face abt stuff w my mom and also the redacted situation bc i always feel in trouble whenever i talk abt them w him#and also he asked how things were w my mom and i told him and he was like that’s great but how are things with YOU and yoir mom 🤨. UGHHHHH#and i can’t leave bc his supervisor is gravely ill and they haven’t talked abt doing inter generational therapy w me yet which is what they#want to do <- hasn’t looked it up yet and doesn’t know what it receals about me. and he also is like yet agai. trying to get me to separate#myself from data expunged AND ITS LIKE OMGGGG NOTHING IS HAPPENING WHY DO I HAVE TO THROW AWAY A GOOD THING THAT IS WORKING FOR ME JUST FOR#THE SAKE OF CONFORMING TO SOME STUOID MENTAL HEALJT STANDARD. so yeah ummmmm idk what to dooooo i know im not getting the best possible car#and this whole thing has been a cluster fuck but he validated my reaction to something for the first time like EVER today and he has plans#and what if they work. and like omg if i drop it on him he’ll be so hurt and surprised like it will really come out of nowhere and i don’t#want to look like even more of a fool to him than iam. but he says i can’t withhold stuff bc it’s doing me a disservice and we need to see#the fullness of who i am to get to the root and solve problems and stuff but it’s like uhmmmm… but you don’t make me feel safe for reacting#the way i do or wanting things to work out in a way you disagree with so how can i bring out all the parts of me if you don’t make me feel#safe and unjudged for doing so like. lol. the thought of leaving him makes me feel so guilty and stupid bc it s like why are you throwing a#away sliding scale therapy that could turn out to be really useful and running away when ppl tell you things abt yourself you don’t like to#admit and force you to look at your hard ugly truths. but also the thought of working w him until july after already having had 16 weeks of#this literaly makes me fucking insane so idk what to do and finding a new counselor would be so hard and i don’t have time or money. UGHHHH#purrs#delete later#like how am i gonna walk out on him when we just spent all this time talking abt how this new technique will bring me into a new season. AU
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fellas do you ever just get hit with the crushing weight of all the responsibility on your shoulders all at once??
#cat's problems#amiright?? amiright?????#suddenly very anxious in work and feeling like im not doing anything when i have a gajillion things to do....#because i didnt know i had to do them until very recently#im only learning how to do this job but i feel like i should know so much already#prioritisation and managing other people is extremely difficult#i have to organise meetings that no staff want to go to because they feel like its a waste of their time#but for the service users its going to be massively beneficial and help me get started on actual communication work#HOWEVER i feel like i should be doing it all now and knowing how to do it all now#i feel like ive wasted 3 months being kind of useless#even though i KNOW that this job is slow burn and there are no deadlines but that makes it worse somehow???#like because theres no deadline it means it has to get done right away?? and how am i supposed to prioritise when everything has to be done#right this second????#im screaming on the inside dude#what do i dooooo#how to enact massive societal and cultural expectations and views on people with ID and communication needs as one person#if someone could give me a handbook that would be class thanks
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Shut up and kiss me
warning : smut
summary: you are oscar's girlfriends' lily's friend and she sets you up with lando norris
“Where are you?”, I text to my bestfriend Lily as I’ve been waiting for her in a cafe for about 20 minutes now. “I’m sorry y/n, I can’t make it. I’m busy but I sent someone to pick you up. Please be nice to him. I told him about you and you’ll recognise him when he comes ;). I hope you are wearing a good pair of innies”. WHAT THE HELL! What does she mean? Who did she send? “Hello Miss. y/n”. LANDO??? SHE SENT LANDO NORRIS TO PICK ME UPPPPPP???? “I’m Lando Norris, Oscar’s teammate. Lily requested me to pick you up, Osc is quite sick and she is keeping him company.” Fuck… the words aren’t coming off my mouth. I’M froze. “Hi Lan, I have seen you on tv. You are more pretty in person. I’m so sorry, I would’ve booked a cab if she texted me earlier. Sorry to waste your time”. “First of all, thank you for calling me pretty as I’m too mesmerised by your beauty. And secondly, I offered Lily to pick you up. I’ve seen your photos with her and thought you were very cute.” DID LANDO NORRIS JUST TOLD ME I’M CUTEEE? ANY LACK OF SELF ESTEEM FROM THESE DAY ONWARDS WOULD BE AN INSULT TO LANDO. WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DOOOOO? I CANNOT TELL THIS MAN THAT I’VE BEEN IN LOVE WITH HIM SINCE 2019. “What are you thinking pretty, are you uncomfortable with me?” “NO, no Lan, I um I uh um I just am starstruck at the moment.” “Haha, so shall we?” He tilts his head hinting me we should go to his car.
“Yes, let’s go” and I follow him. “you have a very pretty car”, I say and he opens the door for me. Ugh!!! Such a gentleman. “now I’ll have a pretty company to drive this pretty car” he replies SUCH A FLIRTTTTTTT. We sat In his car and he drives. Suddenly I get a text from lily. Oscar is having health issues so we are in the hospital. They do not allow visitors at this time so spend time with your crush ;). I sigh looking at text and Lando asks me if everything is alright. I tell him what lily texted and that we cannot go to them right now so he should drop me at the hotel. Lando: “well, it’s your first time here in London and spending the evening at the hotel is not the most rational thinking. Let me show you the places if you are not uncomfortable.” “Uh no, I’m totally fine but you must be busy considering you have a race next week.” I say. “Trust me y/n, I can make time for you”. Oh my god. He has his way with words. My heart is melting and if I spend even a minute more with him, I’m gonna fall in love with him. He takes me to watch sunset but fuckkkkk uk’s weather. It started raining as we parked the car and went 10 mins up walking. Now idk what to do. I’m drenched and I’m wearing a white shirt. He looks at me with his intense eyes and gives me his jacket to cover me up. “Uh thank you” I say. “It isn’t for you, it’s for me. I dont wan’t anyone looking at you when you are looking this hot”. What did he just sayyyyy? We rushed back to his car.
“ Look y/n, I really wanted to show you the sunset and ask you out for the coffee and since that didn’t work out because of this damn weather and look at you at the moment. You look so sexy with this wet hair and the white shirt. I’m known to be a good driver but at the moment you are driving me crazy. Please let me take you back to my apartment please?” My heart races as I hear him say those words. I’ve been thinking about him a lot specially when I’m alone at my room but now since it is happening in real life, my brain cannot process this all. We go back to his apartment and it’s amazing. I open the jacket he provided me earlier and give him back. I need to change my outfit.
I want to ask where the bathroom is but he has been staring at me since I opened the jacket. “Lando, I um ” . “Don’t look at me with those big brown eyes, I dont know what I’ll do next” he says. Fuck he is so hot, it’s turning me on and his curls are wet and I can’t stop thinking about what’s underneath that shirt of him. “SHOW me”. I say
He looks at me confused and says “what?”. “Show me what you’ll do next”. before I could see his reaction to my words, he pulled me by my waist and kissed me. That kiss, like a fairytale crescendo, outshone every sensation I've ever known. I melted right there. I wanted the time to stop and I didn’t wanna let that man go. He pulled back and looked into my eyes “so you have wanted this no y/n? You were just playing hard to get. Your body wants me as much as I want you sweetheart”. I was too turned on to reply what he had to say. “Shut up Lan” I said as I pulled him by his collar. Fuck why isn’t he coming close. “Y/n, my baby, I have a good neck exercise. You’re too weak for that”. This man is a tease and I need him right now. “Lan, I’m gonna walk away from here and sleep with the first man I see if you dont kiss me right now”. His eyes darkened as he heard those words coming from my mouth. He grabbed me by my neck and pulled me closer. “Cocky? Huh I know no one can make you wet if it’s not me, tell me you are mine and I’ll touch you”. I know I have to give myself to him because he will not touch me if I don’t say what I’m told. “Lan, I’m yours, all yours. Now, pl..” I couldn’t even complete what I was about to say an he kissed me. Harder this time, much intense and much sexier than earlier. He bit my lower lip and used his tongue. He is a pro. He slowly goes down to my neck and place soft kisses and I’m already wet. I try to unbutton his shirt but I can’t because my hands are cold and they are shivering. He understands what I need and rip his shirt off. Oh god he is so hot underneath that shirt. I look at his body with lusty eyes as I kiss his chest and proceed to move down while holding eye contact with him. He doesn’t let me go down and pulls me up and kissed me. He unbutton my shirt and undo my bra. He kisses every square inch of my body and squeeze my boobs. “Wow!! They are handful, I love them” he says. “Baby, can I go down on you” he asks me as if I was about to stop him. Who in the world could resist Lando Norris? I bit my lower lip and say “please”. He kisses my inner thighs, teases me and licks me. Wow he sure is best at everything he does. He press my lower abdomen as he continues eating me out. I moan in pleasure. “Uhh umm Lan”
“Baby” I roll my eyes. “keep making those sounds for me love”
“I’m about to .. uh”
He knows I’m about to finish so he pulls himself away. Such a tease 😈 . I know what he wants.
“Baby I need you inside of me, NOW.” I say and didn’t even notice him taking off his pants already. “See what you’ve done to me”. He looks at my eyes and demands me to see him. “Can you take all of it?” He winks. “ try me” I say. I know he loves playing so I go along with it. He puts his little (BIG) lando inside of me and I scream in pain or should I say pleasure. “Baby you feel so good” he thrusts faster. “Harder Lannie” he knows the rhythm. He knows when to go slow and hard and when fast. “Mhmmm” he moans near my ears and I know he is enjoying it as much as I am. “Baby, I’m about to come” he says. And goes faster. We both finished at the same time and that was amazing. He takes it off of me and places a kiss on my forehead. “We need to clean the mess we have made baby.” And lays beside me. “I’m too tired for that Lan. Let’s clean it later” I say. “Y/n, will you be my girlfriend? I don’t want this to end. I want you everyday.”
Oh my god this man is a GENTLEMAN.
“Yes my love”. And we cuddle and sleep.
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Halloween Costumes
COUPLE COSTUMES! And I am begging, BEGGING, if there are any artists who feel inspired and want to draw the boys in these costumes... I would cry. Literally cry. Here's what's been floating around in my head for what y'all would wear on Halloween night.
Xavier:
“What about this one?” Xavier stops in front of a Velma costume and points to it.
“Would you be a Shaggy or a Scooby?” You laugh as you catch up to him. The costume store is extra busy and you nearly lost sight of him.
“Hmm… I don’t know… I guess either could work.” You grab his hand so you won’t get separated again. You look at the Scooby costume and giggle at the thought of Xavier in face paint and dog ears. There’s also a Scooby onesie hanging up nearby and it hits you.
“I have a better idea.” You pull Xavier’s arm and drag him to the pajama section.
When Halloween night finally rolls around, it certainly doesn’t play out like you expected.
“Are you sure you don’t want to go to the party?” Xavier asks for the 10th time. His foot is propped up on the coffee table, his arms crossed.
Ever since he got injured just 2 days before Halloween he’s been urging you to go without him. He’s an amazing hunter, but got taken out by a set of stairs. You still remember finding him curled up at the bottom of the stairs in your apartment building. He was trying to act like it was no big deal, but when he couldn’t stand up, you knew it was serious. You ruffle his hair as you pass by the couch.
“No, silly. I want to spend Halloween with you. Now come on, let me help you get in your costume.”
You help him hobble to the bedroom and change into his How to Train Your Dragon onesie. You’ll surely be calling him Toothless all night. You put on your Light Fury onesie and pull up the hood, it’s warm and cozy, perfect for the chilly October evening. You’re helping Xavier get settled on the couch when the doorbell rings. You rush to answer and collect your takeout order - which is more food than you and Xavier need.
“What’s this?” Xavier raises a brow at the containers you pull from the large bag and set on the coffee table.
“I thought we’d finally try the food from the new Indian restaurant down the road. I didn’t know what we’d like, so I got one of everything.” Xavier chuckles and leans forward to inspect the food.
Chicken curry, goat curry, butter chicken, mutton curry, masala vadai, white rice, coconut rice, lemon rice, naan, paal kozhukattai, hariyali chicken and two large chai teas. Xavier stares at you, then at the food, then back at you. You giggle and pass the remote to Xavier.
“You pick the movie.”
Xavier flips through the movies and picks Nightmare Before Christmas. You both settle in for a cozy night together. With good food, good films and the best company.
“Happy Halloween, my love.” Xavier whispers to you as he pulls the blanket over your shoulder. Your eyes half closed as you slowly slip into a food coma. You look up at him with the biggest smile. You love it when he gets all lovey dovey. He leans over and kisses you sweetly.
“It’s the best Halloween I’ve ever had, even with a broken foot. Thank you.”
Rafayel:
“WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN’T HAVE TO SHAVE MY EYEBROWS OFF?”
You can barely hear Rafayel’s screams over your own laughter. He’s standing before you in full costume, hair slicked back, ready to add the final touches. He was waiting for you to show up and help with his hair. When he opened the door to his home, you stared at him for a full minute before bursting into a fit of giggles.
“I told you - baHAA- I told you I could help you with your makeup! Raaaf what did you dooooo?!?”
He has a hand clasped over his forehead and paces back and forth in his living room. The rest of his costume is perfect, a simple crisp white dress shirt unbuttoned to the naval, an undone black bow-tie, fitted black pants and dress shoes. He had covered his hands and torso with white paint and meticulously drawn on the various tattoos from the picture you sent.
“I thought I had to! Stop laughing!!” His whines are adorable and you feel bad for not being able to control your giggle.
“Okay okay okay, listen, let’s finish your makeup and go to the party. We’ll stop by the store on the way home and get some makeup and I’ll show you how to draw on some natural looking brows.”
Rafayel sinks into his couch in defeat. He throws his head back and crosses his arms. He’s in full on pout mode. You focus on distracting him so he doesn’t sulk the whole evening. You straddle him on the couch and grab the makeup to help him finish getting ready. He stares at you, maintaining his best pout, but you can tell he’s happy you’re sitting on top of him, especially in your costume.
The simple baseball tee with “Daddy’s Lil Monster” printed across the chest, tiny red and blue shorts and fishnet tights, platform sneakers and you’ve repurposed your holster from work to hold fake guns. The most expensive part of your costume was the wig, you wanted to make sure it looked realistic. You DIY Harley bat leans against the wall near the front door. You were determined you and Rafayel would win the costume contest.
You cover Rafayel’s face in the white paint and add black eye shadow all around his eyes. You’ve always wanted to put makeup on him, but he would never let you. When he said you could pick the costume for Halloween you knew exactly what you were going to pick. You just didn’t think he would commit so fully.
“You’ll have to draw on the face tattoos. You’re way better at that than I am.” Rafayel chuckles. “Oh, he laughs! He must be feeling so much better!” You tease. Rafayel’s smile instantly drops.
“No. I’m angry. I look ridiculous.” You give him a soft kiss, which makes his pout disappear once again.
“You look adorable. Don’t worry about your eyebrows okay? They’ll grow back.”
Once you finish applying the green hairspray, he looks spectacular. A very sexy Leto inspired Joker. How is he still so hot without eyebrows?
You and Rafayel win the costume contest at the party that night. But honestly, that wasn’t your favorite part of the evening. Helping Rafayel practice drawing on fake brows will remain one of your favorite memories for a long time.
Zayne:
“Can I look now?” Zayne stands in the bedroom with his hands over his eyes. You hear his foot tapping, he’s so impatient tonight, it’s adorable.
“One second! Oh shoot…” You struggle to reach the zipper on the back of your costume. The red, white and blue spandex leotard fits you like a glove and you’re excited to see Zayne’s reaction. You’re already giddy with excitement just looking at Zayne’s costume.
You knew Zayne wouldn’t be comfortable in a crazy costume. Especially at the hospital's annual Halloween party. He would still want to be professional around his colleagues. So you went searching Pinterest for a costume that he would be comfortable in, but would have a pairing that you could have fun with.
“Okay, I might need your help with this… Can you keep your eyes closed and help me zip this up?” Zayne chuckles and reaches out his hands, eyes still closed.
He still wore his glasses, which matched the costume perfectly. A white dress shirt unbuttoned half-way to show off a Superman t-shirt underneath, his dark dress pants held up with suspenders and you made him change into converse instead of dress shoes. He always wore dress shoes and suits, tonight he should be comfy.
You walk up to him and turn around, backing up until his hands graze your shoulder. You shiver as his hands slowly feel their way down to the edges of your costume. He finds the zipper and gently tugs it upwards. It closes easily and you turn around, taking his hands in yours you kiss his knuckles.
“So, now can I look?” You look up at Zayne and giggle.
“I have to put on the accessories, but I guess… you can go ahead and look.” You drop his hands and put your hands on your hips, striking a confident pose.
Zayne opens his eyes and his ears immediately turn red as he looks over your costume. The Wonder Woman leotard fits you perfectly, showing off your toned physique. The fishnet tights you opted for making you feel sexy and confident. You picked flat boots instead of heels because you knew you’d be dancing and didn’t want Zayne to have to carry you home… like he did after the hospital’s charity ball over the summer. You’re looking in the mirror, securing the head piece, when Zayne comes up behind you. He places his hands on your hips.
“You look… amazing.” You smile, now your ears are turning red. “Are you sure you want to go to the party?”
You’re surprised at his question. While he isn’t much of a party person, he loves holidays and wants you to have fun, even if it means dragging him to parties. You start to understand once you turn to face him. His cheeks are red to match his ears and his hands remain on your hips. He pulls you closer.
“Zayyyyne. Are you wanting to keep me all to yourself?” He doesn’t say anything, instead he bends down and places a tender kiss to your lips.
“Maybe.” He pulls back just enough to stare down at you with his glittering green eyes.
“How about we leave early? Then you can have me all to yourself the rest of the night.” Zayne pulls you into a hug and sighs softly.
“Fine. But I can’t promise I won’t try to pick you up and carry you away.”
You place the back of your hand against your forehead dramatically. Holding onto one of Zayne’s suspenders with the other.
“Oh Superman, rescue me from all this social interaction!” Zayne pinches the bridge of his nose, but his smile remains.
“You don’t need anyone to rescue you. You’re a real life Wonder Woman. Stronger than anyone I know.”
Sylus:
“You’re not going to give me a hint?” Sylus has been calling you everyday this week asking for details or hints to what you’ve picked for this year's Halloween costume.
“NO! You’ll find out tomorrow night.” You’re glad Sylus isn’t here, he’d probably convince you to tell him. Showering you with kisses until you caved.
“I heard Luke and Kieran whispering about a costume earlier. Please don’t tell me…” He doesn’t get a chance to finish speaking before you are giggling non-stop.
“Luke and Kieran are helping me. But I gave them strict instructions not to tell you anything.”
“You really think they won’t tell me? I’m their boss.” His voice is sarcastic, but you can hear his footsteps picking up pace. He’s hunting them down, you’re sure of it.
“To be honest, I think they’re more afraid of me.” Sylus laughs.
“Let’s test your theory.”
“No! Sylus don’t!! Please?” You beg.
“Fine. I won’t ask them. I’ll see you tomorrow night, kitten.” With that, he hangs up. You stare at your costume hanging on the door of your closet. You smile, trying to suppress your excitement for your first Halloween party with Sylus.
The next night you arrive at the Onychinus base early. Luke and Kieran show you Sylus’ costume and you squeal with excitement. You give them a quick hug before finding a spare room to get into your costume. Once you’re ready, you sneak down the hallway and knock on Sylus’ bedroom door.
“Come in.” You open the door slowly to reveal Sylus sitting in his armchair in the corner, a book in his hand. He lowers the book to look at you and you have to hold your breath to avoid laughing at his shocked reaction.
The leather body suit was a nightmare to slip on, but damn did you look good in it. The zipper along the chest unzipped just enough to let some of the October air keep you cool. The matching gloves have little claws attached to the fingers, not too sharp, but sharp enough to truly make you feel like a cat. Your black high heel boots strapped all the way up the ankle to keep you stable all evening. Your headband with cat ears pull back your long waves. Your ruby red lips curve into a smile as you watch Sylus eyeing you.
“You really took my little nickname for you seriously didn’t you, kitten?” Sylus stands and walks over to you. You reach out your hand and he takes it.
Once you have secured his hand, you tug him to the door and down the hall.
“Aha… where are we going?” Sylus laughs and follows you without hesitation.
You crack open his office door and peek inside. Laughing at the sight before you, before closing the door and turning to Sylus.
“Close your eyes.” Sylus chuckles and obeys. You open the door fully and gently lead him into the room. You let go of his hand to grab his arms to position him correctly.
“Okay, open.” You stand back and cover your mouth in anticipation. Sylus opens his eyes and is stunned, unable to speak, trying to comprehend what he’s seeing.
Luke and Kieran stand before him. Luke dressed in green ripped jeans, green converse, he has his torso painted green and fake ivy vines wrapped around his arms and some of his chest and stomach. His ginger hair an even brighter shade of red against the green paint spread across his face. Kieran is dressed in half red, half blue jeans, a studded belt hugs his hips, he has a matching half red and blue jacket unzipped to show his bare torso. His ginger locks lightly colored with hints of bright red and blue. Red and blue eye shadow are swept across his eyelids as well. He drapes his arms over the baseball bat that rests on his shoulders behind his head.
“Happy Halloween!” The pair say in unison before parting to show Sylus’ costume placed on a mannequin behind them.
It has to be the most accurate Batman costume Sylus has ever seen. Now that charge from the costume store makes more sense. He was wondering what costume could POSSIBLY cost so much. It’s impressive really. He turns to smile at you.
“Batman and Catwoman?”
“And Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn!” Luke says enthusiastically. Sylus chuckles and moves closer to examine the costume.
“What do you think?” You anxiously pick at the fake claws attached to your gloves. You worry he might hate the idea. Sylus walks over to you, pulls you in by the waist and places a kiss to your forehead.
“I love it. It’ll be fun to play hero for the night.” You hug Sylus tightly around the waist before he pulls away, ushering you to the door so he can get into costume.
Sylus looks so damn good dressed up as Batman. His ruby eyes shimmering behind the mask, the muscles on the costume look almost identical to his and the cape… Sylus won’t admit it, but he has been fluttering that cape all night. Standing next to Sylus, the Catwoman to his Batman, you feel like you can take on anything the universe throws at you.
(I would also die over art of Luke & Kieran as gender-bent Poison Ivy & Harley Quinn... Just sayin...)
Thank you for reading!!
#love and deepspace#angst and fluff#sylus (love and deepspace)#rafayel love and deepspace#xavier love and deepspace#zayne love and deepspace#lnds sylus#lnds xavier#lnds rafayel#lnds zayne#lads zayne#lads xavier#lads rafayel#lads sylus#halloween#couples costume#luke and kieran
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Is it tooo much to ask for reader to not have such a strong personality 🤨. SHES NOT MEEEEE if she’s doing a wholeeeee bunch of things I would never do. If the author had put “Original character” in the tags or told us guys I’m writing a self-insert or making a character. HOW MANY TIMES DO YOU HAVE TO DESCRIBE THIS SKINNY WHITE GIRL JUST TO TELL US IN THE COMMENTS THAT YOU TRUED TO MAKE IT NONDESCRIPT. Bc I hate to break it to you dear author. YOU FAILEDDD. And it would’ve succeeded if you said this was notttt a reader insert. I’m sorry guys I’m just genuinely tiredddd. We are reading reader-inserts because we want to put ourselvessss inside like come awnnnn now🤨. I have to do sooooo much mental brain work as of late having to compartmentalize every new character trait that the author has now appointed me. Alsoooo on that note NOT EVERY FAT GIRL IS INSECURE AND SELF- CONSCIOUS. Anyone and everyone can be insecure but why does EVERYYYYYY fat reader have to be insecure and just start dumping hate on their bodies. I would never hate on myself the way these authors be acting like we do and honestly THAAAAATS triggering. Imagine it’s 2 am, you thought you found this great chubby reader fanfic BUT NOOOOO the first 1k (out of 3k or something mind you😒) it’ll just be a whole bunch of degradation like ewwwww I’m not going from having my body randomly degraded and then some man having to convince me that I’m beautiful to sex is NOTTTTT THE VIBEEEEE. I love myself and every extra pound on me. And you know what I haaaate even more is when I point out that this is weirddddd and odd somebody pipes up with “then go write it yourself”. Skinny girls don’t have to go write it themselves yet the average size of an American woman is between 16-18. THAT IS NOTTTT A SKINNY WOMAN. At some point we gotta start being serious because anythingggg can be a book these days. Literally we got cow-fucking, monster and aliens and all that stuff YET I CANT GET A PLUS SIZE MC IN ANYTHINGGGGG. And if I dooooo it’s just a whole bunch of hatred, insecurity, and degradation the whoooole time. Bc we knowwww it isn’t a book with a fat MC without them being randomly bullied for their weight at least ONCE.
#reader insert#writing#chubby reader#fat reader#ao3 writer#let me have peace#x yn#reader#x reader#rant post
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like personally *i* can't fix him and im not trying to do it. wyll ravengard on the other hand. if he cant fix him then no one can
prev post is why im gonna play as astarion and then romance the fuck out of wyll. hahaha get manipulated and corrupted idiot- wait what. wha-
#playing bg3#im committed to romancing astarion on my first playthrough OF COURSE#of course of course :) well of course i am#(said in a hysterical way like lestat said it that one time)#BUT. but. wyll ravengard#if i speak#like i came here to romance astarion that was my mission even before i got the game LMAO#so i didnt expect to be. distracted. enticed. by another companion#not immediately anyway#i expected to LIKE them. and i dooooo they're my family fr#but wyllllllllll save me wyllll wyll save me#i DEBATED if i want to ditch astarion in the tiefling party scene because of this man#i wanna romance him sooooooo baddddddd oh my god#all of this is so embarrassing for me who id'd as a lesbian for so long and now id's as (???????) lol#because like. i also wanna romance the girlies too OF COURSE i love them#but why does astarion and wyll do this to me. why me. why#yet another post to show how unwell i am about this game. good morning#a little bit of identity crisis on the side. but what is new#this is obv not the reason of the crisis. just a small addition to what's been going on in my head for like. a year?#1.5 years? longer? idk#maybe not longer. who knows
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Fine.. were damamged.. really damaged.. but that does not make us wise!!
Were not special were not different we dont choose who lives or dies..
Lets me normal. See bad movies. Sneak a beer and watch tv.
We’ll bake brownies.. or go bowling.. dont you want a life with meee?
Cant we be seventeen.. (you thought.)
Thats all i want to do.. if you could let me in..
I could be good with you…
People hurt us..
[JD] Or they vanish..
[V] and youre right, it really blows.,
So we let go
Take a deep breath
And go some summer clothes.. (i got lazy and didnt want to add the names anymore.)
Well go camping..
Play some poker..
And well eat some chili fries..
Maybe prom night?
Maybe dancing?
Dont stop looking in my eyes!!!!!
Your eyes..
Cant we be seventeeeennnn? (Skibidi)
Is thats so hard to dooooo…. If you could let me in…
I could be good with you!!!!!
Let us be seventeeennn…
If weve still got the right…
So what’s it gonna be?
I wanna be with you!
I want to be with you, tonighhhttt!,!!
Yeah were damaged..
Badly damaged…
But your loves too good to lose..
Hold me tighter.. (even closer..)
Ill stay if im what you choose.. (cant we be seventeen..)
If i am what you choose.. (If weve still got the right…)
Cause you’re the one i choose! (Youre the one i choose..)
You’re the one I choosee…….
I typed this from memory btw
Blocked.
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Overly Analyzing Fortune Street character dialogue (Mario and Luigi)
So I've spent a lot of time browsing Mario wiki pages (organized easy to read information about a current hyperfixation makes for great destressing material) and one of the pages I've been really into is the quotes from Fortune Street (2011)! I've been thinking about talking about and discussing some of the character dialogue from it, since some of them actually have some fun character tidbits, and after seeing this post from pianokantzart (please go check out their stuff!) I decided to go ahead and do so!
Today we'll be focusing on Mario and Luigi's dialogue, and dialogue that involves them! If you would like to view these quotes for yourself, you can do so here and on the character's quote pages. I'll mainly just be highlighting some of the fun ones under the cut!
Mario
"Brr! This ship gives me the creeps! Best to win fast so I don't have to hang out here too long!" (The Ghost Ship)
This is an area-specific dialogue line for the Ghost Ship, and I find the implication that Mario is a bit creeped out by ghosts/haunted places, seeing as Boos/ghosts are an enemy that have notably defeated him numerous times via the Luigi's Mansion series.
"Wow! What a fancy palace! But I still think Peach's Castle is the best…" (Castle Trodain) "Ha ha! I'm gonna do well here. Peach's Castle is like a second home to me!" (Peach's Castle)
Simple but cute!! He thinks of Peach's Castle as a second home and feels safe there!! This is extremely important to me
"Dooo-doo-doo-doo-doo-dooooo! Hey, I love this tune!" (Super Mario Bros.) "Doooo--doo-doo doo-doo-doo! That sure is a catchy tune I've got stuck in my head! Oh, sorry, is it my turn already?"
He also really loves the Super Mario Bros. theme! The theme that is associated most with him and Luigi ;w; I like to imagine he hums its to himself whenever he's working
To Yoshi: "I'll help you find your cookies, Yoshi - just give me a second to brush these cookie crumbs out of my mustache!" Yoshi to player: "Yoshi! Yoshi! (Nice job on that promotion, (player's name)! Here, have some cookies to celebrate!)" Mario's response: "Why no cookies for Mario? Can't I have just one?"
There's also a running theme of him wanting Yoshi's cookies which I think is so funny. The Legendary Hero of the Mushroom Kingdom cannot turn up a tasty snack. Some people seem to push back against the idea that Mario enjoys eating?? But I think it's such a cute characteristic of his (and the fact that he basically admits to Yoshi's face that he swiped his cookies jsadjkkdlsa)
"Not to look a gift Yoshi in the mouth, but I was hoping for more coins..."
Mostly highlighting this one for the substation of "horse" with "Yoshi" in this quote. Fun little world building tidbit of Yoshi's being the Mushroom Kingdom's horses.
After player warps: "Ever get a stomachache when you warp, (player's name)? That happens to me sometimes!"
Even though he presumably uses the warp pipes all the time? Interesting... (side note but because I'm movie brain pilled, you could potentially read into it more here for that verse 👀)
After landing on a Take-a-break square: "Heroes never take the day off! What am I supposed to do with myself - go to the beach?"
Bro that is not a good mindset let yourself take vacations!
"Thank you for your patronage! You're very generous, (player's name)... Just like me!"
There's a lot of playful lines like this from Mario, I like when we get to see his competitive side and how he has a teeny bit of an ego (he's still overall humble and kind, but he knows he's the hero of the Mushroom Kingdom)
After player buying his circus tent: "I can't believe you took over my circus, (player's name)! Didn't you like my fireball show?"
FIREBALL SHOW???? HE PUTS ON A FIREBALL SHOW????? I am desperate for any crumbs of reference to Firebrand (even though he likely used a Fire Flower for this but still)
To Luigi: "Hey Luigi! Stick with me, Bro, and we'll win this one together!" Luigi's response: "You got it, Mario! We'll show (player's name) some real Mario Bros. teamwork!"
To player: "Nice work, (player's name)! But Luigi and I aren't going to give up quite yet!" Luigi's response: "Right you are! The Mario Bros. are just getting warmed up!"
THEM........ 🥺💖 WE LOVE TO SEE THEM WORKING TOGETHER
To player: "Psst! Hey, (player's name)! Princess Peach is watching, so I'm afraid I just can't lose to you today!" Peach's response: "Mario, I heard that! But don't you worry - I'm the one who's going to win!"
Dude is SMITTEN for Peach and it shows. He wants to impress her! I do like that we get to see that Peach is also competitive and playfully rolls with it
To player: "Keep going, (player's name)! It's way too early to give up!" Peach's response: "Hey, Mario-what gives? You seem like you're more concerned about (player's name) than you are about me!"
That said, Peach clearly likes having his attention on her LMAO it reminds me of the scene in Paper Jam where M&L Peach visibly got a bit jealous of Mario getting blushy and flustered over Paper Peach
Bowser to player: "You're in luck! If you beat me, you automatically get to become one of my minions! That's the law around here!" Mario's response: "Don't listen to him, (player's name)! I've beaten him a million times, and I'm no minion!"
Almost all of Bowser's quotes that invoke a response from Mario play out like this; Bowser provokes or taunts the player and Mario immediately snaps back or defends the player. It's fun to see a version of their rivalry here, albeit one in a much more relaxed and lower stakes setting. They will get extremely competitive even when it's just a game for fun
Bowser Jr. to player: "You're just being a big show-off, (player's name)! I'm NOT impressed!" Mario's response: "Don't be jealous, Bowser Jr.! Sure, (player's name) is doing great - but you're not doing bad yourself! Try to stay focused!"
While Mario will do the same if Junior taunts the player, here we can see him being encouraging towards him. It's a cute little moment! I feel like Bowser's Fury enjoyers will like this quote lol
Peach to Mario: "Hmph! Why does (player's name) have all the luck? Mario! I order you to go out and gather me some gold coins!" Mario's response: "Sure thing, Princess Peach! But, umm..how?"
I mean it when I say dude is smitten. One order from the princess and he's ready to drop his competitive streak to go fetch some coins for her LMAO
Toad to player: "I'm impressed with your business acumen, (player's name)! I wish I was more like you… Mario's response: "You can be, Toad! Just keep up the hard work!"
Friendship between Mario and Toad can be so personal, actually... and more encouraging and sweet Mario! Never forget that this man is kind and caring before anything else
To Birdo: "Ouch! Birdo, you're charging me an arm and a mustache! That's precious gold I'm never going to see again!"
AN ARM AND A MUSTACHE HE SAYS............ this man is a DORK
To Bowser Jr.: "I'm surprised you're charging folks so much to shop here, Bowser Jr.��! Just like your daddy, you are!" To Bowser Jr.: "Bowser Jr.! You're just like your daddy. Always getting in my way!"
He'll be encouraging and overall gentler with Junior, but it doesn't change that fact that Junior still gets in his way a lot JADSKK
To Donkey Kong: "Hey, Donkey Kong! Would you mind if I paid you in bananas? Ha ha ha! Oh, I bet you get that joke all the time!" To Donkey Kong: "You sure know how to roll that die, Donkey Kong! Almost as well as you roll a barrel!"
oh my god he's so obnoxious sometimes you KNOW this man is telling dad jokes even if he's not a father. And it's a small hint towards the DK and Mario rivalry that started in the old games!
To Luigi: "Oh, Luigi! Can't you give me a special discount or something? I thought we were the bestest of buddies!"
the bestest of buddies I could cry.... it's a very sweet sentiment, even though clearly it's said in a bit of teasing tone here. I now HC that Mario calls Luigi his bestest buddy whenever he wants something from him
To Peach: "Looks like I need to start picking some flowers for your victory bouquet, Princess Peach!"
THIS. MAN. IS. SMITTEN.
To Waluigi: "I hate to fraternize with my brother's nemesis, but it looks like we're going to have to work together! Let's swap shops, Waluigi!" To Waluigi: "What!? Waluigi's about to win!? I don't think Luigi is going to be too happy about that…"
Interestingly, we get to see the Waluigi / Luigi rivalry acknowledged by someone outside of them. I do like the implication that out of principal, Mario avoids anyone who has beef with Luigi.
Luigi
”Eek! No one told me there would be gh-gh-ghosts here! I wish I'd brought my Poltergust 3000 with me.” (The Ghost Ship)
LUIGI'S MANSION REFERENCE!! An obvious one, but it makes me happy whenever it's referenced regardless
"Leaping lasagna! This place is even bigger than Peach's Castle!" (Castle Trodain) "This place is wackadoodle! It's turning my brain into spaghetti!" (Good Egg Galaxy)
HE DID IT HE SAID THE FOOD JOKE THINGS!!!!
"Looks like my bro really cleaned this place up! I hope they gave him the key to the city!" (Delfino Plaza)
this one is just, so pure and cute???? supportive Luigi confirmed??
To player: "Hey, (player's name)! I'm Luigi! Oh, you've heard of me? I'm so flattered I think I'm blushing!"
This is also so cute and a bit sad - he thinks it's amazing that someone has heard of him enough to know his name outside of just "Mario's little brother"
"This game has got my mustache all mussed up! Where's my little comb?"
Implying he carries a comb with him specifically for brushing and cleaning up his mustache! Which makes total sense, considering these other lines of dialogue from him;
"I take a quick time-out to trim my mustache, and someone buys up almost all the shops! What gives?" "Ack! One shop left? All I did was take a minute to trim my sideburns… I need to stop doing that!" "Who bought up all the shops? Guess I was too busy grooming the 'stache to pay attention to the game…"
A lot of people interpret Luigi as very neat and tidy and almost obsessively keeps himself cleaned, and this dialogue most certainly solidifies that! People pointed out in the recent film that Luigi's hair is also a lot neater than Mario's, which lends to this idea. Apparently more than once he's been so focused on grooming his mustache and hair that he's missed something important lol
"It's not so bad being in second place. As a matter of fact, it feels just right! I wonder why that is…"
Ohhhh buddy,,,,,, the eternal player 2 mood LOL
"One day I'm gonna dominate this district. Then everyone will see who's the real brains behind The Mario Bros.!"
JDSJKASDLDASKLA this is such a sibling quote. Though it is interesting considering many people consider Luigi the more strategic of the two
After player lands on a Take-a-break square: "You've been working so hard lately, (player's name). Promise me you'll take it easy on your day off!"
A lot of characters will gleefully remark that they can advance while you're on a day off when you land on a Take-a-break square, but Luigi seems to genuinely want you to take it easy and I think that's neat
To player: "Did Mario teach you to play this game, (player's name)? 'Cause you've definitely got some sweet moves, just like him!"
CUUUUUUUUUUTE Luigi thinks the world of his brother, so of course if you impress him, he will compare you to him!
After player builds a tax office: "Built yourself a tax office, (player's name)? That was a calculated move! Ha ha ha ha!"
"You got any hobbies, (player's name)? I'm into lots of things: golf, tennis, basketball, beating you at this game…"
DORK I am going to lovingly push him into a locker. This was the blueprint for "You just got a-Luigi'd!"
After building an estate agency: "I bet Princess Daisy'd be really impressed if I owned a few more shops! Help me out, estate agency!"
One of the most favourite moments for Luigi/Daisy enjoyers. Because it really is cute! He just wants to impress her!
Going bankrupt: "Bankrupt!? I'm gonna get laughed right out of the Mushroom Kingdom!"
highlighting this one just because every time I read it all I can think of is "they're beating my ass in the QRTs"
Daisy to player: "If you win, (player's name), maybe I'll invite you on an all-expenses-paid vacation to Sarasaland!" Luigi's response: "Wow, what a prize, (player's name)! I wish I was in your shoes!" Daisy to player: "Yay! You got your salary, (player's name)! I guess that means you'll drop by my shop soon, right?" Luigi's response: "Wow, Princess Daisy! You're good…"
THIS. MAN. IS. ALSO. SMITTEN. I find it so funny that both Mario and Luigi are so head over heels for their respective princess GFs.
Waluigi to player: "Hope you're comfortable in last place, (player's name), 'cause that's where you belong!" Luigi's response: "Knock it off, Waluigi! I'm pretty sure you're the one who belongs in last place!" Waluigi: "Luigi, (player's name)… Is there anyone they DON'T let into this thing?" Luigi's response: "Ha ha! You're one to talk, Waluigi! How did YOU get on the guest list?"
LUIGI, KILL!!!!
More of the Waluigi / Luigi rivalry, and it's interesting to see someone who is usually more timid and soft spoken like Luigi be so confrontational and angry addressing someone who is clearly getting on his nerves. Waluigi seems to be one of the few people who can really push his buttons like that.
Mario to player: "Nice job, (player's name)! You're a real hero - just like Mario!" Luigi's response: "I wish Mario would call me a hero sometime…"
The post I linked before delves a bit more into this, but Luigi has a couple of dialogue lines about wishing Mario would think more highly of him. It doesn't come across as out of spite or disdain; it just reads as a younger sibling wishing he could impress his big brother who he looks up to. But as we all know, Mario clearly thinks the world of Luigi and he even shows it in this game;
Mario to Luigi: "Great job, Bro! Ha ha! You're my hero!"
They care about each other and I will hear NO arguments.
#snake talks#smb#mario#luigi#I surprisingly think I had a lot more to say about Mario than luigi here LOL but this was fun to do!#Mario analysis#fortune street
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To meet oneself - part 3
The previous chapters: 1 and 2
Chapter 3: Let's talk
“Wh-Who are ya? What dooooo ya w-want?” Marchrius calmly slurs his words, forcing himself to blink slowly as his eyes narrow, straining to focus.
The man he questions eyes Marchrius warily, sensing that he’s struggling to trust him. This realisation sparks curiosity, and he wonders what’s running through Marchrius' mind. Letting out a deep sigh, he carefully sets the heavy machine gun on the ground and crosses his arms, signalling that he means no harm.
“The name's Marco,” he says stoically, his tone polite. “There is nothing I want from you. I'm simply lost. I have no idea where I am.”
Marchrius lowers his combat knife slightly, stumbling backward as he casts a bewildered glance around, his expression cloudy with confusion.
“Uhhh… Hoooww the hell do y-ya havvvve my… errr, common nickname?” he asks with a raised eyebrow and a slight tilt of his head to the right, his voice low and his words barely intelligible.
Marco's eyes widen in shock as he scratches the back of his head, asking incredulously, "You also go by Marco?"
“Y-Yeah! Of coursssse! Aaaaallll of my b-buddies call me ‘Marco’, except for Nadiaaaa, and it just s-sticks, ya know?” Marchrius responds loudly, his speech slurred, and lifts a shoulder in a nonchalant shrug, yet keeps his combat knife at the ready.
Marco strokes his chin thoughtfully, his expression transforming as Marchrius' mention of buddies ignites a brilliant idea. A gentle smile spreads across his face, and his turquoise eyes shine with passion. Sensing the lingering emotional pain and distrust etched on Marchrius' face and reflected in his eyes, Marco seizes the opportunity to steer the conversation in a new direction.
“Say… What are your friends like?” he asks respectfully, hoping the question might lift Marchrius' spirits.
Marchrius' grasp on his combat knife relaxes marginally, but his facade of nonchalance falters. His gaze drifts downward, his breathing grows shallow, and his heart swells with emotion. However, the lingering ache within him obscures his thoughts, and he can't shake the fear of being abandoned if his friends discover his secret: his solitary binge drinking habit. The haunting thought that he's unworthy of their meaningful friendships crosses his mind, and his grip on the knife tightens once more. Tears prick at the corners of his eyes, but his expression twists into a fierce scowl, a desperate attempt to mask his vulnerability.
Marco's eyes widen, regret washing over him for asking the question. He hadn't anticipated his raw emotional response, or the deafening silence that followed, heavy with unspoken pain. Shame creeps onto his face as he averts his gaze, his eyes drifting to the blood-stained combat knife still clutched in Marchrius' hand. The sight sends a jolt of concern through him; he hadn't realised Marchrius' inner turmoil ran so deep or that it might drive him to self-harm.
“I’m sorry… You don’t have to talk about your buddies if it makes you feel uneasy,” Marco speaks reassuringly, doing his best to make Marchrius feel comfortable.
He maintains a safe distance from Marchrius, searching for the perfect words to say. Not wanting to come across as pushy or insensitive, he recognizes that approaching someone as emotionally fragile as Marchrius requires tact. Taking a deep, measured breath, he launches into a heartfelt and enthusiastic conversation about his friends, hoping to distract Marchrius from his inner turmoil and provide a much-needed respite.
"Wow, where do I even start?" Marco pauses, collecting his thoughts.
Marco's gaze drifts downward, his eyes tracing the gentle contours of the grass-covered earth beneath his feet. He strokes his chin thoughtfully, his back resting against the rugged trunk of the great oak. A moment of contemplation passes, and then his face slowly brightens with a gentle, introspective smile. Lifting his gaze, his turquoise eyes lock onto Marchrius', burning with a quiet, unwavering passion.
"I love my friends more than words can express. I'd do anything to keep them safe. We've got our differences, and yeah, we butt heads sometimes, but that's just life. The amazing part is, we work through it together, like a team. They're my rock, my everything. Honestly, they're the reason I'm still going strong," Marco begins, his voice filled with emotion, as he pours his heart out.
Marchius closely listens, the grip on his combat knife loosening slightly, as Marco talks about all of his friends, many of whom share similarities with Marchius' own companions. Marco enthusiastically discusses his best friend and brother-in-arms, Tarma, whose breezy, slightly sarcastic attitude is a refreshing presence during intense moments. He gushes about Fio's baking, and admires her cleverness and optimism. Marco also appreciates Eri's dry sense of humour, which he finds amusing and funny at times. He views Trevor's computer expertise like an intellectual work of art, while praising his gentle heart and intelligence as well as his phenomenal taekwondo teaching skills, particularly with his android student, Liane. Marco is equally impressed by Nadia's exceptional marksmanship skills, her love of food, and her fantastic fashion advice. As Marco speaks about his friends, it's clear that he holds them in high esteem and loves them dearly.
He shares a playful, brotherly dynamic with Tarma, often engaging in lighthearted banter and sibling-like squabbles. He values his friendship with Eri, enjoying conversations about everyday life and shared experiences. Fond memories of reading together are especially cherished. Marco harbours a significant crush on Fio, which renders him tongue-tied in her presence. When alone, he struggles to resist the urge to show affection, often finding himself wanting to kiss her cheek. Although he doesn't frequently interact with Nadia, he appreciates her company and enjoys discussing various topics with her. His close friendship with Trevor revolves around a shared passion for computers and software.
Marco continues, sharing stories about individuals Marchrius hasn't met, but listens intently nonetheless. He begins with Derek, another close friend, whom he values for their camaraderie. However, he acknowledges Derek's quick temper, recalling a memorable altercation during their cadet days. His relationship with Raymond is strained due to the latter's short fuse. In contrast, he maintains a neutral stance towards Noah, despite frustration with his lax attitude towards militant duties and leadership responsibilities. Among the android unit, Marco singles out Iria for praise, appreciating her enthusiasm for learning and enjoying their conversations whenever possible. Regarding Liane, he expresses concern, citing her impulsive nature as a source of worry.
As Marchrius listens with utmost curiosity, his piercing glare at Marco gradually yields to a softer expression. He lowers his combat knife, the tension in his body easing. His loyalty to his friends runs deep; he'd willingly risk his life to keep them safe. However, beneath his resolute exterior, the ache of loneliness lingers, seeding doubts about the sincerity of those around him. He observes Marco, swiftly concluding that this man is no imperfect clone or cyborg. The subtle nuances of his expression, the depth of his emotions, and the uniqueness of his character all scream one thing: humanity. Marchrius shakes his head, his gaze drifting to the wilted grass before slowly lifting to meet Marco's, his eyes probing the depths of his soul for answers.
“Do ya thhhink I’m w-worthy… of the fri-friends I havvvvveee?” Marchrius asks, his voice low and slurred, yet tinged with genuine interest and soothing calmness.
His voice cracks as he continues to speak, the words tumbling out in a desperate, ragged whisper. His lower lip quivers beneath his nervous bite, and his chest heaves with laboured breaths. The combat knife shakes in his unsteady hand.
“I-I… I dunno knowwww if… if I can tru-trust theeemmmm or n-not,” he tells Marco, his voice swelling as a sob threatens to take over, shaking his entire frame. “I’m just a b-b-burden! How c-can they puuut up with me?! Whoooo wants to de-deal with a stttuuuupid drunk like meeee?!”
Marco watches as Marchrius drops his combat knife, its weight sinking into the grassy earth with a muted thud. Marchrius' chest heaves with ragged breaths, his hands trembling as he covers his face and succumbs to uncontrollable sobs. He stumbles backward, collapsing against the sturdy trunk of the oak tree, his body wracked with emotion. Marco's expression softens in shock and sympathy, recognizing the depth of Marchrius' pain. Having struggled with his own addiction, Marco understands the crushing weight of self-doubt and the relentless grip of alcoholism. Despite his own ongoing efforts to overcome his habit, Marco's empathy for Marchrius is palpable.
Marco carefully approaches Marchrius and sits down beside him, giving him a tender pat on the back. Marchrius subtly turns to face Marco, gently parting his fingers to stare at him, and tries to quiet his sobbing as he sniffles, wondering why Marco even bothered to sit down next to him. Without a moment's notice, Marco places his hands on both of Marchrius' shoulders, encouraging him to fully look him in the eye. This startles Marchrius, causing his muscles to tense as he turns further to face Marco. He lifts his hands from his face, his eyes widening in surprise and confusion as he stares at the man before him.
"I know we're strangers, but I want you to know something. I don't think you're a burden, and I don't think you're stupid either. You're worthy of the friendships you have! It's hard to find genuine friends, but I know you're lucky to have made some amazing ones. If they didn't value you, they wouldn't still be around. I assume it's because they deeply care about you. That's what friends do—they stick together like a loyal pack, always having each other's backs!" Marco gently reassures Marchrius, boosting his confidence and sense of belonging among his friends.
Marchrius is taken aback by Marco's heartfelt words, and before he can process them, Marco envelops him in a warm hug. The sudden gesture catches Marchrius off guard, leaving him wondering why this stranger, who bears an uncanny resemblance to him and seems to understand his friendships, is showing him such kindness. As Marco's arms wrap around him, Marchrius' hands tremble and tears well up in his eyes once more. His breathing becomes shallow, and his body succumbs to overwhelming emotion.
He hesitantly returns the hug, embracing Marco and burying his face in the crook of his right shoulder. Uncontrollable sobs rack Marchrius' body as he struggles to comprehend the stranger's selfless act. Amidst the emotional turmoil, a spark of gratitude flickers within him, but it's shadowed by the crushing weight of his sadness. The pain of expressing thanks feels too much to bear.
Marchrius sobs frantically, his body racked with convulsive shudders as he pours out every last tear of anguish and sorrow. Beside him, Marco offers what little comfort he can, periodically patting Marchrius' back as his wails give way to sporadic hiccups. He weeps, overwhelmed by emotions he's never before experienced, as the pain in his right forearm begins to subside. Blood from Marchrius' raw wounds continues to trickle steadily, silently staining the military-issued backpack draped over Marco's back, unseen by either of them. In this moment, he yearns to remain forever, surrendering to tears that purge his heart of every regret and anguish that have left him shattered.
Marchrius clings to Marco, his arms tightening around him in a desperate embrace. The enhanced strength of his cybernetic prosthetic and rippling muscles flex as he holds on, his grip almost overwhelming. It feels like an attempt to hold Marco in place, fearing he'll resist the embrace and swiftly slip away, leaving him behind. His deep-seated fear of abandonment gnaws at him, the last thing he wants to exacerbate his already fragile state. All he yearns for is liberation from the shackles of loneliness. He longs for someone to stand by his side, offering emotional solace and support. Marco, taken aback by the intensity of the hug, begins to struggle for breath. Seeking to calm Marchrius, Marco gently rubs his back in soothing circular and linear movements. But despite his efforts, his tears continue to fall, dampening the skin of Marco's right shoulder and chilling it in the night air.
#writerscorner#creative writing#writing#metal slug#snk#gaming community#iron eclipse au#to be human au#sry if marchrius' speech is difficult to read#i wanted to give y'all an experience of what it might be to talk to a guy who's drunk#friends#weeping#worthiness#comfort#marco rossi
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well regardless of where you got it from i really love that line, i think it adds an interesting angle to their relationship. what do you think bro knew about the nature of the game and dave’s destiny for him to think of raising dave that way? im also curious about the subject matter of the fics you may have gotten inspiration from
thanks i think so too
i dont remember unfortunately; in regards to the fics. i dont really read fics nowadays and i do tend to read short ones to avoid This happening- where i absorb something and forget about it
more about bro under cut
i feel like bro knew some things; i like to keep certain parts of the 'game' aspect of their reality away from them
like for example: bro doesn't know EVERYTHING about what hes supposed to do. like he wasnt spawned in with I am A Guardian in his brain; he was a whole ass human person for 24 years until he got dave
growing up a lot of his information came from cal because since he was destined to be a guardian, he had nagging feelings in the back of his mind telling him to do certain things: get this apartment, do this that way, etc. and cal just enforced those
i think dirk's reason for raising dave that way is a combintion of the fact that thats the only way cal(iborn) referred to dave and that bro was never allowed to actually bond with dave (because caliborn made him believe that platonic affection is in fact not platonic at all and is instead sexual[the implications when bro is constantly carrying around cal with his arms around his neck btw. insane.])
i've talked about it a lil bit with input from error707-thatdude (whos training to dooooo... something w psychological development of kids or something? sorry i forgored) on stream and the lack of interaction/affection can be potentially fatal to human children
so every time dirk wanted to do what honestly, his instincts were telling him to do (hold dave, be gentle [even if stiff]) , he wasn't able to because he had caliborn in his ear whispering that he was being deeply fucking inappropriate with his goddamn son which . Jesus Christ. (ive come to the conclusion bc of this that the daves we see in canon are the daves that made it past childhood, as error707 said: the exceptions)
the fact that caliborn constantly told him about how dave was the knight and he needed to be the knight. he needed to enter the medium. if he didn't enter the medium then everything that dirk's entire life has been leading up to has been a disappointment, a mistake, and he doesn't want to disappoint his very dear best friend cal does he? hee hee hee.
he also told him about how dave is SUPPOSED to be. cool, stoic. that kinda stuff, bc calibrn has a bit of a gay thing for both of them im sure.
+ the deep feeling inside of dirk that he Knew cal was right (something something; destiny/fate/will of the universe/etc), that dirk existed to do this; to get cal into the medium, to get dave into the medium, to make them stronger, led to dirk thinking of dave as his goal instead of anything remotely resembling family-
all of that accumulates into his brain dissassociating dave from himself as family and instead as a goal and a figure of something he NEEDS to polish or it wont work when the gear is inserted into the frame
things like this are delicate and they HAVE to be taken special care of during assembly, or you'll be left with nothing. (go watch how its made- wristwatches. its like that.)
sorry if all this doesnt make sense; feel free to ask for clarification and ill happily provide
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fic writer meme
thank you [checks notes] @megafaunatic, @cairoscene, @englishsub, @yuebings, and @cafecliche for the tags ilu
1. How many works do you have on Ao3? 15! which is solidly 14 more than i ever expected to have on there when i made the account
2. What's your total Ao3 word count? 277,844
3. What fandoms do you write for? on ao3: mdzs/cql, tgcf, shl, and dc. in groupchats/dms/my own head i’m running wild all over the place
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? 🐉 this river runs to you 💍 i’ll have you and you’ll have me 🪐 i will be chasing a starlight ⚔️ you’re the trouble that i always find 🌊 a wave crashes to shore
5. Do you respond to comments? not often; i have made multiple attempts to start replying regularly but all have eventually failed in the face of me desperately wanting to show my earnest and genuine appreciation for each comment vs. wanting to hide my blushing face under a pillow every time. also, because of who i am as a person, each time i sat down to do it i ended up spending hours making little progress and eventually decided that i will make an effort to spend those hours writing or commenting on other fics instead. i am honored by each and every one though!!!
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? while i tend to write angst it is always firmly of the “with a happy ending” sort. the one exception is my shortest fic (originally posted on twitter) never been away so long, which is more of an ambiguous/open ending with implied angst. i dooooo outline the eventual happy ending in the endnotes, though. also as it CURRENTLY stands buy back the secrets ends on one hell of an angsty note, but there are two more chapters in the works to fix that.
7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? despite the wangxian star trek au having like 20k of deliriously happy post-misunderstanding sex, i think trrty has to have the happiest ending because not only does the fic end happily, but there are also multiple very happy codas in which wwx gets a good night’s sleep, finally gets to bang his dragon boyfriend, and, my personal fav, one by aubreyli where wangxian go flying in a thunderstorm.
8. Do you get hate on fics? not so far, for which i am grateful but mostly lucky.
9. Do you write smut? occasionally; on ao3 there’s the aforementioned trrty coda, plus the aforementioned cowritten wangxian pon farr sequence 💪
10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you have written? hmm, i’m not opposed to crossovers—i’ve read some really fun ones (recent fav crossover read here)—but i’d have to be really compelled by both source materials and have a very clear vision for how they interact to want to write one myself. i’ve written a few fandom fusions (aforementioned wangxian star trek au; i also started a wangxian dragon age au but again, no dragon age characters were going to show up, just the world/setting) but no full-on crossovers. i did have one partially drafted wangxian fic that was going to have a hua cheng deus ex machina, alas.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? not that i’m aware of! it’s not something i really go looking for/concern myself with, but so far, like with fandom hate, i’m grateful to not have encountered it.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated? yes! my wangxian wedding fic was translated to russian.
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? i co-wrote seventy thousand words of published fic with @feyburner! and probably two hundred thousand words of unpublished fic and outlines and story ideas just for fun. even when we aren’t co-writing we tend to talk through our individual fics with each other so we’re pretty in sync when it comes to writing. i also spent like a year in @cairoscene’s DMs concocting whole outlines/zerodrafts for batfam fics together that i still cherish and reread (notable favs: tim drake ella enchanted au, concept where the waynes are cursed to suddenly feel nothing but apathy about tim and he has to deal with that, story where robin!tim gets de-aged and oops red hood is the first one to show up…). i’d say the OCBFEU is fic-adjacent and cowritten by a group of us. also shoutout to the mdzs threadfic @cafecliche and i brainstormed/zerodrafted where lan qiren gets cursed into an owl and post-cql wei wuxian is the one who unknowingly saves him.
14. What's your all time favorite ship? oh yeah it’s [loud truck goes by]
15. What is a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? cyborg!wwx…i still think of you fondly. the only ao3 fic i’ve ever posted knowing i probably wouldn’t finish it but wanted to share just for fun.
16. What are your writing strengths? pangs… mining little character details for humor (or, more often, for more pangs)… i also think i’ve really improved my action writing/pacing over the last few years.
17. What are your writing weaknesses? i write actual drafts/prose fairly slowly, which can be frustrating for me. also like @yuebings i often get very caught up in trying to perfect one small part of a draft before moving on. ummmm describing outfits/settings for reasons other than immediate plot-relevant details, i’m terrible at that + remembering to do it—i literally make myself do a What Are We Looking At Here Pass while revising sometimes.
18. Thoughts of writing dialogue in another language in fics? i’m not totally sure what this question is asking tbh, but it’s something i think can be done incredibly well—and, like with many things in storytelling, it’s the sort of thing where if you don’t actually speak the second language you need to be willing to put in work beyond a cursory google to try to achieve what you’re doing, and be willing to admit if it’s beyond your capabilities. i really like how the portuguese dialogue in bbts ended up and that’s 100% because @tigerjpg translated it for me and also already understood the scene/concept/characters; without them i would have found a different way to approach that scene. also, stylistically, i personally like when dialogue in other languages isn’t italicized unless there’s a real reason for it to be.
19. First fandom you wrote for? oh it was [a second loud truck whooshes by]
20. Favorite fic you have written? right now it’s bbts, because i think it’s also the fic i’ve had the most fun writing. trrty, though, will always hold a special place in my heart.
and i tag! @tlumeti, @burins, @smilebackwards, @bonesbuckleup, @hearteyeshayley, @sonosvegliato
#this was so fun thank you#also i loved getting tagged so many times because i could immediately go read everyone's writeups#like a very fun trip down memory lane#my fic
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ohhh okay Idk how much meta you can get outta this...but I find the idea that Crowley has no idea what Aziraphale feels about him interesting. I actually think Crowley is FULLY aware of how Aziraphale feels, and that's part of why it all hurts so badly. Honestly my biggest reason for thinking this is s1 when Aziraphale is all "I don't even like you" and Crowley without hesitation responds "You dooooo" like he KNOWS, and similarly with the line of them both pretending to not be on their own side. He's aware of his feelings and he's aware of Aziraphale's feelings, and that's why everything sucks so damn much hahahha Aziraphale saying things like "we're not friends. I don't like you" etc etc doesn't bother him because he knows Aziraphale is lying, it's when Aziraphale STILL refuses to be "a team of two" and leave Heaven (as seen in the Bandstand break up and s2), that the hurt really starts to hit
On the flip side though...Idk if Aziraphale knows Crowley's feelings, I really don't. I think deep down he does, but he's so scared he forces himself to remain oblivious lol
Thank you for asks!! Definitely a good topic to think about, so let's dive right in.
I think Crowley and Aziraphale are both aware that they have 'feelings' for each other, although neither of them is capable of calling them what they are. They are, just as everything else in their relationship, vague and undefined under the excuse of 'plausible deniability'.
Aziraphale thinks that they cannot openly like each other and not even be friends because heaven is constantly watching them like perverts waiting for them to kiss and fuck. However, the emphasis is on thinks. None of this holds up if you look at the facts, which I will quickly do.
Throughout all the flashbacks, neither heaven or hell gave a single fuck about what they were doing as long as their jobs get somewhat done.
In 1941, the only reason why Furfur even has an interest in Aziraphale's and Crowley's relationship is to get a promotion - and fails. This is also HELL. No one in heaven cares.
Heaven and hell are not monitoring their relationship. They aren't. It's as simple as that. When Michael digs up proof in season one, it's the equivalent to trying to find a needle in a haystack because they have ALL OF HUMAN HISTORY in some sort of fucked up horror archive. Michael probably had to use some miracles to dig up three grainy ass pictures. They did not have them at the ready, they did not CARE, they weren't LOOKING.
Crowley knows that. Aziraphale knows that, too, but can't admit it to himself. So he uses it to "excuse" his shitty ass behaviour towards Crowley with 'heaven is watching not my fault'. Just that they're not. Yeah.
What heaven and hell care about are their impact on the earth's morality scale. If they tip it too far one way the person who's not supposed to be doing that gets punished. Other than that, there is no monitoring, they don't fucking CARE.
Aziraphale's constant and rather insulting rejections are because he is unwilling to confront his screwed up views of heaven. He'd have to confront all of his and all of their actions, and he is, and I am saying this with love for this character, a fucking coward who rather lies to the person he loves than risk making himself uncomfortable.
That's why they hurt Crowley so damn much. Aziraphale is lying because he is scared of accepting that the world is not black and white, meanwhile CROWLEY was forced to confront that fact rather quickly and got punished for it severely time and time and time again. Aziraphale does not understand that and doesn't want to understand that.
Additionally, with the way Aziraphale handles it, the impression Crowley gets (which like. whether A knows it or not is the truth) is that he is not good enough. He is an evil, bad, irredeemable demon that cannot be loved by someone holier than thou like Aziraphale. Aziraphale loves the angel he was and the angel he thinks Crowley could be again - but he doesn't love Crowley, fallen angel and former demon, who belongs to earth and earth alone. On top of that, the mere thought of loving someone like him has Aziraphale running away from him, insulting him, and a whole load of other shit.
The message is "you are unlovable, loving you, a demon, is so horrible that i would be punished for it, I will only love you once you're an angel again."
Crowley is trying to tell Aziraphale what his existence is like, all he gets is "you were an angel once" with this fucking face:
And then the whole speech afterwards. Aziraphale KNOWS what he is saying and how hurtful it is and then does it anyway.
And then he gets what he wanted, knows he's fucked up, but still doesn't care about Crowley.
He never apologizes for any of it, just sends him away again and again and again, expecting him to come back like a fucking boomerang. Aziraphale digs his own graves and those of other people, all the while proclaiming that heaven is holding a gun to his head, but he and everyone else know that there's no gun. He is doing it because he cannot confront his own trauma and the resulting maladaptive coping mechanisms - which is NEVER an excuse for hurting someone, especially not someone you claim to love.
#alex talks good omens#good omens#ineffable husbands#crowley#aziraphale#good omens season 2#go2#aziracrow#crowley x aziraphale#ineffable divorce#good omens meta#alex answers asks
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