#so anyway yeah. thats been the past 3 weeks for me.

[anotherpapercut]

bro what the fuck are they doing with my package

[mueritos]

a big brain dump about autism, life, being indigenous, and whatever else is going on

so the past few months I made it a personal journey to understand my autism more (and maybe a possible ptsd diagnosis but whatever whatever whatever). and that's what i'm calling it--the autism--because no other thing makes sense for me, and while i'm parsing through childhood memories and experiences, it's definitely...a bittersweet conclusion? bitter because in a lot of ways, i dont relate to the stereotypical autistic experience because every autistic person who has clocked me was usually a White Queer. It's probably why it's taken so long to get to this point of concluding Autism is what it is. I grew up in an immigrant family as a girl, and for that reason I was expected to not be disabled and to be a completely normal and high achieving Mexican catholic girl who went to college and became a doctor or whatever. Now i'm a fag of a man doing none of those things haha.

My older brother was supposed to be assessed for ASD in his youth, and like most immigrant dads, mine decided that nothing was wrong with him and the rest is history. Except my older brother is a man riddled with childhood trauma, shame, and so much autism. Absolutely uncharted rates of autism, and while he gets some sort of pity from my parents for him ("it's all out fault" "he never got the help he needed" "cut him some slack he doesnt understand"), I can never let my own parents know about how much I struggle. Hell, I can barely show it to my own friends because even they don't understand the extent of my autistic struggles. it's actually caused continuous miscommunications, people mad at me, me mad at myself, meltdowns, shutdowns, and a lot of crying. And shame. (a peer recently even demeaned my habit of keeping to myself, despite the fact that I had actually been trying to put myself out there more)

so i'm at a point in my life where I've accepted that I can only take responsibility over how I communicate, and I take ownership over that. Accepting this responsibility allows me to keep myself safe, as I've essentially lived over 2 decades of my life feeling like I was responsible for not just my communication, but everyone else's, including all of the judgements, missed cues, failures, miscommunications, and whatever else came from it. It's definitely double empathy. Last time I truly took on everyone's communication, it nearly killed me (cue over a year of suicidality). But, in a lot of ways it's very freeing. I'm sort of detaching myself from this neurotypical/White need to socially interact with others on their terms. In other ways, it's restricting. I uh. Don't really talk to a lot of people nowadays, and there used to be days where I wouldn't say a single word out loud. But because I don't talk to as many people, I'm able to put energy into the quality of my connections and not just the quantity. Which unfortunately a lot of people take personally. They dont like you admitting that you only see them as an acquittance, or as a classmate, or something like a friend but not quite there. I find comfort knowing how people feel about me, even if its that they actually dont feel close to me. Great! Now I know! Knowing makes me feel safe! But I'm finding that people actually really fucking hate when you admit that to them, the how you actually slot them in ur brain in terms of social levels. I can understand why, but I also don't get it.

Another thing that's helped is I've changed how I do eye contact. I used to make eye contact with professors or classmates while I spoke up in class because I thought that was important. Now I've found I can actually focus more on what I'm trying to say when I don't make eye contact. My god how freeing that has been. I don't have the same anxiety as I used to before, nor do I experience all of the involuntary blushing as I did for many years of my life. It didn't matter how confident or how prepared I felt, I would just blush furiously and I fucking hate it. Now my blushing is almost nonexistent, and I say what I mean with the flat ass tone that I love speaking in because it makes me feel safe. Sure, I miss the real-time non-verbal reactions to my words in class, but it's an okay trade-off for feeling more safe in myself and more confident in the classroom.

another thing is my internship. I work with majority neurodivergent students, and many of my clients have autism, adhd, or both, and are sometimes BIPOC, trans, or children of immigrants. Man, I've been having a blast. Sure, I'm learning how to be a therapist and best practices, but screw everyone in my life who has called me "cold" "emotionless" or "heartless". I have connected with so many people on such a human level, and I have sat there and helped them hold their pain in that tiny gay office for 45 minutes every week, and even though it's only 45 minutes, i'm showing them that they're allowed to ask for help holding that pain. I have had challenging sessions, difficult conversations, and times where I wasn't sure I would know what to say. But at it's core, I know that I'm capable of connecting with the person in front of me because my autism brain is automatically in tune with the person in front of me. It is so wonderful, and overwhelming, and so confusing all at once. When people start crying in front of me, I feel tears well up in my eyes, even if I'm not actually sad with them. It shows me that I'm capable of this empathy that so many people over my life have questioned, which they questioned all because I processed things slowly, or made quick decisions, or because I was honest about how I felt.

on to being mixed indigenous. Phew. I've been trying to build more connections with other Native folk, and I have a couple who I can thankfully call friends and who have never disrespected my detribalized experience. but recently I was interviewed a few times for a fellow indigenous researcher's dissertation, and I did not expect to be chosen on account that I am detribalized. But it had been a lovely experience and I finished my final interview today. It really left me with a lot of emotions that are hard to put into words. Mourning would be one of them, as I likely won't ever know what my tribal affiliation is. Never knowing who my people were, what language they spoke, the land they lived on...I can't describe just how much it destroys me. It feels like literal death, because that's what it is. A disgusting colonial death. And it's why I abhor that of all my identities, being autistic and being mixed indigenous has been met with the most vitriol online. like i guess people can only handle the trans fag mexican dude when hes not autistic and mixed indigenous, because now I am far too ambigious for anyone else's good. though i do know better than to listen to what random people online have to say about me and my path toward reconnection/neurodivergency.

beside's that, i'm trying to find neurodivergent spaces that feel safe, and I'm trying to find ways to keep myself safe. stimming, carrying stuffed animals around, using fidget toys, engaging in my interests, listening to the same songs, eating the same foods. I've had coffee with bagel and chive+onion cream cheese for over a year now. I've listening to almost only Pearl Jam and Alice in Chains for nearly a year now. I rewatch the same youtube videos over and over again. I wear the same few outfits. I wear the same shoes everyday. I walk the same way to and from campus everyday. I try to be in nature as much as I can, and really see it. I imagine nature where it isn't, and I get emotional thinking about the life that used to be on it. I wish so badly that I was a cat, a horse, a bunny, a deer, all so I could experience life through their eyes. i'm putting trust into people, into the universe, and into myself. safety is hard to come by, but im doing my best to accept the risks of life, trying to be flexible, and learn how to sustain myself for the good of the world. I deserve to be here too.

that's about it. besides that, i'm moving to philly once i'm done with grad school ^-^

[todayisafridaynight]

Since you mentioned it, what did you think of Speak No Evil? I was thinking of watching it myself :0

i really liked it ............ my friend scoffed at me when i told her i was watchin it so take my opinion with a grain of salt tho </3

[kohakhearts]

well folks its been a good two months of denial but i am finally ready to admit that the reason everything sucks is because of major depression relapse. if i werent so depressed id make this everyone elses problem by projecting it on to blorbo but alas

[spyder-junkie]

EARTH-42 MILES MORALES X READER PART 2

part three ??

part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4

Honestly the death of his father traumatized Miles.

It taught him to hold on to the things he loves, things that make him happy, because nothing is forever.

And honestly he was looking for something to fill his father’s void, something to satisfy the itch being prowler couldn’t scratch.

So not even two days later, Miles shows up at you window.

He wanted to scope you out, see if you were something he’s like to spend his time on.

With any person hes ever thought of pursuing, the thought of having to tell them hes Prowler loomed over his shoulder.

But you already knew.

Hes dressed normally this time, and hes come at a reasonable hour.

You smile when you see him, opening the window immediately for him to crawl in.

“I aint’ catch you name.” is the first thing he says, dusting off his jeans.

“Y/n.” You reply, sitting down at your desk.

“What can I help you with, Miles?”

He pauses for a moment, almost forgetting what excuse he came up with.

“Check my wounds for me? You wrapped ‘em so well ian wanna unwrap em.” He says, face calm.

You look at him for a moment before shrugging.

“bien, siéntate.” You mumble, going to grab your first aid kit.

“You speak spanish?” Miles asks, sitting down on your bed and pulling his shirt from his body.

The big gash on his side is covered in bandages, blood stained.

“A little, I take a class at school.” You smile, bending down infront of him. He spreads his knees, letting you settle onto the ground infront of him.

He shuts his eyes tight as you unwrap the bandage.

“Thats a pretty chain.” You mumbled, using a cottonball to dab at the wound.

Miles’ hands come to to touch the chain hes wearing. It was one of the many things he half-hazardly bought with his work money.

“Where’d you get it? Ive been looking for something similar.” You ask.

“I honestly can’t remember.” He mumbles, from his tone you could only assume he was telling the truth.

“Thats okay, anyway Youre all good.” You say just finishing his bandages, standing up and putting your things away.

“Oh.” Miles mumbles, not realizing how little time that would take you.

“Anything else I can help you with, Prowler?” He shivers at the way the name rolls off your tongue.

“Guess not.” He says, standing up and walking towards the window. His hands are in his pockets.

He leaves, climbing back out your window and disappearing past the block.

After two days a package shows up at your door.

When you open it, you realize its a chain, identical to Miles’ and brand new.

You giggle a little while clasping it around your neck.

You dont see Miles again for two weeks.

“You know we can just schedule meet ups instead of you showing up to my window at night.” You say, watching as Miles in his normal clothes climbs out if the darkness and into your room.

He ignores your statement, taking his shoes and jacket off and sitting at your desk. He leans back, legs spread wide and eyes closed.

You shake you head, sitting down on your bed and facing him.

“Whats troubling you?” You ask.

“Nothing important.” He says quickly. He opens his eyes and looks at you.

“Youre wearing the chain.” He mumbles.

“Yeah.” You reach up and touch it. “It’s really nice, I thought you didn’t know where you got it from.”

Miles shrugs

“How much was it? I can pay you back-“

“Eres Bonita, you shouldnt have to pay for your own shit.” He cuts you off.

You pause.

“Thank you.” You smile, looking at his hard expression, he nods.

Its silent for a while, Miles just recollecting with his eyes closed.

“Youve been with the cops yet?” He asks calmly. The question startles you.

“…excuse me?”

“You got my name, you know my face, you could rat me out n’ get that reward money.” He says, opening his eyes to look at you.

“is that…what you want me to do..?” You ask, looking at him in confusion.

“Im asking why you haven’t already.” He stated.

“Oh. because I dont want to.”

Miles furrowed his eyebrows.

“I like you, Miles. Plus you helped me out when I needed you. What you do as the prowler doesn’t really concern me.” You say.

Miles stares at you a bit longer, gears turning in his head.

“You can believe me, Im not lying. Now its late, and I am kind of tired. Stay if you want, but my dad usually pops in at 7 to say hes leaving for work.” You say, moving the covers so you could properly get into bed.

You look over at Miles, whos still sitting quietly at you desk.

You lock eyes with him, holding out your hand.

He stares for a while longer, before slowly getting up and sitting on your bed.

He doesn’t get under the coveres, opting to sit with his back against the headboard. He lets you curl up besides him, laying your head in his lap.

His hand ghosts over your shoulder, rubbing soft circles with his thumb as your eyes close.

“Goodnight Miles.”

“…..goodnight y/n.”

When your father wakes you up the next morning as hes leaving, the bed is empty and Miles is gone.

You rub your eyes a little bit, looking to see if he left anything behind.

On your bedside table there was another note.

“ maybe we should schedule meet ups. xxx-xxx-xxxx -miles”

You smile to yourself, immediately putting his number in your phone.

tags:

@caffeine-mess @arachnenotes @erensbbg @nightshxdex @el-chiste @3alvatore @sh-tposter2021 @miatjie @agstuffsworld @ella34435 @iluvdi0r @pulling-out-my-eyes @vakiui @bigpepperpicker @swaggybae @tsukisaiki @osebb

[filmbyjy]

hiii

you may not recognize me and thats because im (kinda) new hehe.. anyway, i've been kinda stalking you- but that's besides the point. i loveee your workss!! keep up the good work <3 idk if asks are open, but if they are, could you write a fluffy fem!reader x bf!niki where the reader comes home from a long day, and niki comforts her?? and if you cant, its totally ok <3

have a nice day!

a/n: this has been in the drafts for a year now💀 so sorry, I am trying to clear the drafts but my schedule is shit and we all know I suck at keeping up with my schedule😍

WELCOME HOME

it was past 8pm when you had treaded through the front door of your apartment. your body sore from leaning over the tables and wiping it. normally, the cafe you work at was peaceful and was decently packed but after a viral video that practically wowed the internet.

there had been more and more people stopping by everyday. the cafe was decently sized but it was short staffed so sometimes you had to man the cashier, do the dishes, clean the tables and make the drinks. for normal days (before the surge of people), there was about 2 people working per shift, not including the 2 bakers in the kitchen as they were the behind the scenes staff that were required to be there.

with not that many staff per shift, it was hard for you and whoever was working that day to manage the cafe. that also meant more demands from the customers who think they are entitled to make a mess of the space as 'customers are always right'. curse, whoever made that quote.

you were mentally and physically drained. you just needed a good long rest for the rest of the week. however, you couldn't do that. not when your off-days were already used up for visiting your family back in your hometown. if only you could just...take a breather.

"welcome home, baby!" ni-ki slides into the hallway just as you walked towards the living room. you gave him a tired smile.

"hi riki, why aren't you at the dorm?" ni-ki gives you a playful pout.

"already kicking me out? baby, you wound me. i came to see you and you're already pushing me away." he says as he throws his (long) arms around you. "you weren't answering my calls so i assumed it was a long day at work and you didn't charge your phone."

you took out your phone and tried to turn it on but it was indeed dead. "sorry, today was a hectic day. couldn't even get a proper lunch break. there was so many people coming over for the past week."

"yeah, i heard about it. jake hyung talked about wanting to come over and buy some desserts. they did look good but since you know us being celebrities...we could get mobbed."

you hummed, "that's fair. it's a good thing you didn't go. seriously, have never seen such a long queue outside of the cafe in my whole years of working there."

"there was a queue?" he says as he pulls back from the hug.

"yeah, i felt like i was working at some fancy restaurant. oh god, speaking of there are so many karens trying to scam me and gaslight me into thinking i did something wrong when i did nothing wrong." you groaned and buried your head against ni-ki's chest.

he pats your head. "were you the shift manager?"

"usually i am whenever i am working that day."

"mmm, then you could've kicked them out and taught them a lesson."

"trust me, i wanted to but i can't i'll lose my job so i just sucked it up and patiently worked with them and even gave them a free bagel."

"not the free bagels, baby. they'll just come back again for more." ni-ki huffs.

"i know but what am i supposed to do." you sniffled as the tears that unknowingly appeared falls. you were just mad and exhausted. ni-ki obviously heard it so he pulls you back and cups your face.

"hey hey, don't cry. everything will be fine. why don't i run you a bath and then order some of your favourite food, okay?" he wipes the tears that were falling down.

"will cuddles be included?"

"of course. cuddles will be included. now, just lay in bed and i'll get the bath running." he pecks your forehead and goes to move to bedroom. however, you grabbed his wrist.

"carry me to my bedroom?" you pout. ni-ki smiles and scoops you up in his arms. he princess carries you over to your bed and places you gently onto the mattress before going over to the bathroom and getting ready the bathtub.

you had shut your eyes for a bit since you were tired but the exhaustion took a toll on you and you fell asleep for a little. ni-ki shakes you a little. "baby? the bath is ready. go enjoy it, i already placed an order so the food should be on the way soon."

you hummed and went over to the bathroom to remove your clothing and step into the bathtub. you laid your back against the edge of the tub and shut your eyes again. the candle light making everything moody and warm. you were enjoying the comfortable warmth and silence, much better than the bustling sounds at the cafe. this felt nice.

you had spent in the bathroom for about 20 minutes or so before deciding to get out of the tub. you didn't want to your fingers or toes to look like dried prunes so you decided to just get out of the water. you had grabbed the towel and dried yourself off. you could hear a knock at the door.

"baby, i have pyjamas with me. i forgot to leave them inside the bathroom." you opened the door to ni-ki. he had one hand out to hold the pyjama set and the other hand covering his eyes. a very gentleman thing of him to always do if you came out of the shower in just your towel.

you had noticed he too was wearing a pyjama set and it was similar to yours. of course, he loved matching things with you. you grabbed the pyjamas. "mmm, i think you forgot to grab my undergarments."

his ears quickly turned red in embarrassment. "ah, i knew i forget something. i-i'll just leave the room so you could change." and so ni-ki bolts out of the room and shuts the door. you shook your head, laughing a little since he was so adorable.

you changed into the pyjamas after putting on your undergarments and then went out to the living room. there ni-ki was, turning on the tv and searching up your favourite anime to watch together and setting up the food onto the coffee table. you had come up behind him and back hugged him.

"i have the best boyfriend in the world." you say. ni-ki smiles.

"well, let's not forget your boyfriend is one of a kind. where can you get another nishimura riki, member of boy band enhypen, in the world." he boasts. you playfully rolled your eyes and released him.

"that's very humble of you, riki." you playfully say.

"oh, i know. i'm just that hot." ni-ki smirks. you laughed.

"yeah, you are. now, will my hunk of a boyfriend please just cuddle and eat with me?"

"of course, i'll eat with my beautiful and amazing girlfriend any time." he steals a small peck to your lips and settles down on the couch. you gave him a playful gaze and settled right next to him.

after some time, you found yourself tangled with ni-ki. your legs and his long ones were somehow crossed in between in each other as you cuddled like cats laying together.

"oh, it's over?" you say.

"no, it can't be." ni-ki gasps.

a flash to the tv showed 'season 2 coming soon'. it made both you and ni-ki groan. "that's lame. we have to wait for the next season? that's going to take 1-2 years." ni-ki whines.

"they're going to pull another 'Spy Family' thing where there isn't going to have episodes in the next season, i can feel it." you complained.

"boooo. let's watch something else." ni-ki grumbles.

"yeah, let's watch-"

"let's watch, you. you're really pretty." ni-ki says as he stares down at you. ah, this playful and teasing ni-ki is appearing now.

"that wasn't that smooth, riki."

"well, to me it was. besides, this is a signal for you to reward me and i don't know give me a kiss or at least a peck? i am an amazing boyfriend, right?"

you snort, "yes, riki. you are but you're not getting that peck."

"what? why." he pouts.

"because..." you got closer to him and watches you with adorable doe eyes. before you unexpectedly peck him and ran away. ni-ki sits there confused, trying to analyse the situation properly. until he finally digested it.

"hey! get back here!" he yells as he tries to chase after you.

you could've not felt any better.

and being with ni-ki helped it.

[changbinsboobs]

haii can you do skz ideal types? like physique and personality. thank youu

Hi:) since i want to do those readings properly im gonna do them one by one and since i already have some for individual members i'll use this ask to start with chan:)

So, i originally started doing an Ideal Type reading but it got hijacked😅 so i guess im reading on his current energy. I'll try to still add something about his ideal type if i manage getting past the bitter energy but i think ill have to redo it some other time since i believe his opinion would be very influenced by his current feelings right now.

Take it with a grain of salt!!!

Chan's current energy / Ideal Typ

For his physical type i got pretty weird cards ngl, 3 of them are the tower, 5 of cups and 5 of wands, the 4th one's queen of pentacles. Tbh i didn't really get any hints about anything physical. He seems angry and bitter.

I think this reading is gonna be hijacked by something else he wants to talk about. I sense he has had a bitter experience thats still fresh in his mind, i think he got dumped tbh!

Like im seeing a situation with lots of bickering. Ogmg ok wait i have so much to say about it this situation has so many layers!

He feels like he lost something great and regrets his stupid actions.

At the same time tho he thinks its that persons fault and if they were better he wouldn't have acted in a way that would get him dumped.

But then again he feels like he's at fault and regrets it a lot.

But he's also so angry cuz they kept having fights, and she kept exhausting him and he kept not being enough. He feels horrible when he's not enough! He doesn't want to feel like that. He wants to live up to her expectations, to peoples expectations. But he just couldn't in this situation with that person.

It seems like he actually got himself a high quality girl - the he couldn't keep obviously. And he's in so much distress with all his conflicting feelings and thoughts. Im sry but im getting a bit angry at him here🙄 its that male stupidity with lack of accountability whatsoever! You cant expect to give the bare minimum, to be an excuse of a "man" and except to get all the perks real man and masculinity gets you! Deal with the consequences bro🙄 -> not necessarily meaning him, im just seeing the picture from his view, so idk how "horrible" he actually was, i was rather talking about the general population of useless men that just have the audacity to expect the best when they themselves aren't worthy of it and then get mad when they can't keep it.

Anyways back to chan - im also getting mommy's boy vibes here omg its getting worse😩😭 i feel like with this situation he's like "forget her bro, she's not worth it. Your mom used to cook and clean, and take care of 3 children and do everything by herself and she didn't whine and was always so giving. I want a woman like that! This girl wasn't lie my mother - she's not worth it, get over her and stop feeling guilty." Don't take that monologue word for word i was rather training to paint the feeling behind his thoughts.

So yeah we have that...tbh i didn't expect him to have a reaction like that like with the comparison to his mom. The rest i expected, but this? Damn🥲

Also this whole situation seems very dramatic, but what I've noticed in the male population overall is that they tend to blow things way put of proportion, and so knowing chan and his tendencies for a victim-complex, pick me, delulu and stuff - im pretty sure this situation might've been not dramatic at all. Just 2-3 little discussions (not full blown arguments and fights as he depicts it) or even just opposing opinions, where he just felt attacked in some way just by her disagreeing or something...and then after a few dates or weeks of dating she politely told him she doesn't want to see him anymore cuz they don't see compatiable and he broke down.

Again idk how things are for real cuz i haven read the other girls energy nor have i read just the energy itself, im just reading HIS energy and perception, but it feels really needy and excagerated so thats whats leading me to believe that it might not be nearly as bad.

So i managed to get some cards on his ideal types personality only and i got those: 3 of cups, 6 of pentacles, page of cups & king of wands.

His types a younger, more innocent and inexperienced girl he can take care of and teach and lead.

She likes a girl that's social but shy. Someone he can take with when meeting his friends and show of. But as i said - social enough for him to be able to do that - but but also shy so he stays sure that theres no risk of her "going wild" (goddamn bro u forreal?🫠)

Im actually getting something about physical appearance - slender, middle hight, like just a bit shorter than him, prefferably forreign with lighter skin and ginger or light brown or dark blonde hair. Im also seeing big head? Like yk this type of body with very slender narrow shoulders, long lanky arms and legs, but a bigger head where it also seems disproportionate to the body? Its so specific i almost think thats what his last girl looked like.

And he also wants a girl thats submissive and will see up to him and make him feel like a boss or a king or a ...daddy (🤢 im sry i just cant hold in the cringe)

In conclusion - i think this ideal type i got from the cards isn't his true ideal type but rather something that came out of spite. Like if i had to guess he's describing the girl he lost, but without her empowering qualities so that he doesn't get hurt.

Judging on the energy of this reading and previous ones ive done i think he has had a think for strong dominant women because he's fascinated with inner strength and power and always wanted to conquer a woman like that because in his head it meant he has that amount of power and strength the said woman had and even more - since he has managed to tame and conquer her. Now that he's tried tho he got met with the cold reality and got a slap in the face realizing he might not be fit for the task just yet and is just sour about it😃

As weird and unexpected this reading was i really enjoyed it cuz it was really shocking to me actually and even gave me a bit of a slap in the face, reminding me how he's just a man...and that he apparently does stupid things like any other guy too.

[kazehita]

KAZEEEE YOU'VE PLAYED AND FINISHED IN STARS AND TIME?? THAT'S SO EXCITING!! How did you feel about it :O?

(also as i was sending this ask, i just saw your updated bio and thats SUCH A MOOD LOL)

SAMMY THANK YOU SO SO MUCH FOR PUTTING IT ON MY DASH!!!!! THAT WAS HOW I HEARD ABOUT IT!!!!! Also thank you for asking because I've been writing this mini essay in my head in the shower. <3 I was like, shrugs, I like time travel and I like indie games, and wow it is very positively rated I suppose I must give it a try, and then proceeded to procrastinate on that for a few weeks ;; teehee! But yeah, it became like one of my top three games ever in the first half hour.. Things like "storytelling through gameplay," and "ENJOYABLE & interesting turn-based combat," and "characters that feel so Human and Real in addition to being deeply relatable," really gets me on board! And also, now that I've finished, I can say the story goes really hard too. I actually didn't realize the cast was LGBTQ+ before I started playing, so that was a fantastic surprise. And the setting is expertly designed with this in mind! This game is angled to talk about the queer experience while being dynamically interwoven with the themes and setting - and It was a great experience for me to see, in particular, aro and/or ace characters portrayed excellently - both thematically and realistically!!! I'm very impressed with how they show and they tell the characters' relationship with their own sense of self, and their sense of other's people's experiences. .. That's the best way I can explain it without giving specific examples!~ Anyway I have been chipping away at it for the past week in my spare time and stayed up to 3am last night, emotionally compromised, to finish it.

How fantastic! The payoffs, the story beats, the character's growth! It's everything I could have wanted. Absolutely worth anyone's time.

I played on the Nintendo Switch (regular), and while there was minor lag at some points, it didn't negatively effect my experience much at all. I have now purchased it on steam, and I'm going to try for 100% achievements (there is no achievement system on switch)! I found that i missed quite a few things in my blind playthrough, so I hope to catch everything in this upcoming one! to conclude, have some siffrin doodles I did today <3

[eggybug]

guess what time it is! its end of season 4 thoughts time!!!!

they are going to be a lot more insane and outta order than in the past

1. the entire season they were yelling at us that lilith was the final seal and it pissed me off jfc

2. i forgot what it was like to lowkey hate sam, i hate it.

3. so cas was in love the whole time, right? RIGHT. like i know ive been ranting about it all season but are you KIDDING me

4. ruby is a bitch and i hate her so bad. but she was in it for the long game thats for damn sure

5. im REALLY not looking forward to the whole "sam gets haunted by lucifer" bit

6. i love cas, i really do, but he looked right in deans eyes, knew that he was doing this shit to him, and did it anyway. like he was probably tortured by the legions of heaven, but goddamn it

7. when i start making cain and abel comparisons all next season, i don't wanna hear shit about it. itll be my bout of insanity and i apologize in advance

8. i fuckin LOVE bobby

9. no body liked john winchester, they loved him, but they hated the son of a bitch

10. i never got to the point where chuck became TRULY the worst guy ever, but i know we as a fandom hate him, so i hate him.

11. i think demons eat babies and i don't know how i feel about that

12. i don't know who i hate more, uriel or zachariah. maybe im glad cas killed all the angels

13. like i get it but HOW did it take dean so long to realize heaven wanted the war too. they disappeared for weeks while lilith was breaking seals like a bull in a damn china shop

14. they keep doing that thing where one of the capital A angels does something shameful to dean, or dean questions his faith in the "Plan" and the camera cuts to cas looking like a sad puppy

15. ik ive said it 1000 times but goddamn those stupid lil boys need therapy

16. GABRIEL WAS TRYING TO WARN THEM, HE WAS TRYING AND HE COULDNT. THEY COULD NEVER MAKE ME HATE YOU GABEY!

17. hey, in the last episode they killed a bunch of nuns, which like damn

18. back to sam, his dumbass really fell for the devil on his shoulder bit jfc

19. like i understand camera work, but two straight men don't stand that close to have a conversation. they just don't.

20. hey sammy, you throw a lady in a trunk, you stop being the good guy

21. at any point did they just consider... not doing that. maybe perhaps, waiting a week?

22. there was a thing with the mirrors and zachariah in the last ep, wasn't there? like that wasn't unintentional. mirrors are notoriously terrible to work with, that can't be unintentional.

23. i love that biblical fanfiction always somehow ends with an angel, a demon, and a human coming together to stop heaven and hell playing out a war on earth.

24. spn just proved you can't leave a bunch of corporate assholes in charge of a planet.

26. im really not looking forward to sam whining about starting the apocalypse for a whole season.

27. dean fighting tooth and nail for cas to see the truth in humanity. to find faith outside of heaven. cas seeing that and it breaking his morale a little bit more and more every time. cas repeatedly seeing dean, perfect vessel, perfect soldier, dean be willing to lose the promise of heaven, of peace for his little bit of humanity. it broke cas. and dean keeps begging cas to see it too. and they're going to drive. me. INSANE.

28. "we're done" those were the exact words dean said to cas.

29. so cas and dean can talk without saying anything, and i hate to say that means they're in love... but thats exactly what that means.

30. cas did it! he broke his faith, he sacrificed himself for dean. and now they're gonna kiss (ik they don't kiss but a boy can dream)

31. have i mentioned that sam pisses me the FUCK off! like yeah i blame ruby but goddamn.

32. this season was hell in a handbasket, jfc (no ounce intended)

omg! season for is done!! woooo! onto the most annoying and lowkey painful season ever! my takes and thoughts for season 5 are going to be annoying, so be prepared !

[helplesslyblue77]

It Felt So Wrong(It Felt So Right)

Genre: Smut, minors dni

Pairing: Step Dad!Bang Chan x Reader, Step Bro!Felix x Reader

Word Count: 3.8k

Warnings: Step-Sibling Incest, Step Dad!Chan, Step Brother!Felix, Smut, slight degration, Daddy Kink, use of slut, Moral Dilemmas but less than youd think because the author is lazy as fuck

Notes: its very much focused on the reader and there is no m/m action cause chan and felix r related and thats to much even for me,

ok so...you know how its like 3 am and you just had a whole cryfest about how knowone will ever love you and you are obsessing over men who dont even know you exist? and then you feel dumb and take a shower and chug an energy drink while you eat Pizza and smash out like four chapters of your WIP and one very dirty convoluted oneshot????

Yeah.

Anyway i literally cannot watch any clips from Bang Chan's lives the man makes me so Delulu its not ok.

The Title is from 'I Kissed a Girl' by Katy Perry, i love that song man.

You had just turned fourteen when your mother had come home, sat you down at the table, and announced she was getting married. You had not been surprised. You wished her well and snuck upstairs while she talked loudly on the phone with her friends, hardly sparing you a glance.

Your mother seemed to bring home a new man every few years, and at this point, you barely even cared.

And she barely spared a thought for you as well. You were well-fed and had your credit card, but you lacked the love only a parent could give you. Your mother was much too caught up in her pretty jewels and visits to the country club to pay you much thought. 

She was selfish, your mother, and used her pretty face and ample figure to get whatever she wanted in life, whether it be money, clothes, or men, she could have it all. The other men your mother seemed to favor never really spared you a glance, too caught up in your mother's boob job to pay attention to her only daughter, so you really had no expectations when it came to this new man.

But when you were finally introduced, you noticed how he was different.

He looked at you, smiled at you, and acknowledged your presence unlike so many of the others had. He even brought you a gift, a pretty silver necklace with a small charm.

He was handsome, and of course much younger than your own mother. Christopher, he said his name was, and he smiled at you warmly, introducing his son to you. Felix was sweet, pretty with a smile like the sun and the two of you hit it off immediately, rushing indoors to play video games while your parents snuck off.

You pretended not to know what they were doing. 

You adjusted well to the two of them, Felix transferred into your school and you showed him around, introducing him to your friends. He meshed well into your small group and in no time at all, you were happy as can be. You hoped they would stick around, your mother tended to trade off men very quickly., tossing out the old and bringing in the new every few years.

It was the first time you could remember hoping she didn't get a new boy toy, hoping that Chris and Felix would stick around. But then, in your Junior year of high school, it happened.

You remembered the frantic call from the hospital. Felix’s hand gripped your own tightly as you watched your mother's monitor flatline. You felt guilty, like maybe you should have felt more devastated, but truthfully, you weren't that sad.

You shed tears later, however, wetting the sunny yellow of Felix’s favorite t-shirt. It wasn't the fact that your mother was gone, no, it was your stepfather's devastated face that made you sob like a baby in Felix’s arms. 

You hadn't loved your flighty, unreliable mother, but your stepfather had. Even though you all knew she had been cheating on him the last few months.

Your mother is dead now, and it was all in the past. 

It all began on that very night, the night your mother died. Your seventeenth birthday had passed barely a few weeks before and you had fingered the pretty necklace they had given you as you ate. Your mother hadn't gotten you a present, but Felix and your stepdad had, and they had spent extra time with you when they noticed your mother was ignoring you as usual.

You remembered how Felix’s pretty face had lit up with a smile when he handed you the gift, Chris subtly shoving a card across the table.

They liked to give you jewelry, and you liked to receive it. It felt nice to be dressed up and you kind of understood why your mother liked it so much. The card had a few hundred in it, and a handwritten note from both of them, telling you how much they cared about you.

You had cried later that night, curled up in Felix’s arms as usual, and thanked him over and over. He had just laughed and comforted you as always. That night, you realized how nice it was to have people who cared about you, people who enjoyed hanging out with you, and who valued the things you had to say.

You dared to think that you were glad your mother was dead, so you could have a real family, all to yourself. 

The next day, when your small family moved away from your mother's empty cold house, Chris(As he had insisted you call him) reassured you that they would always care for you that you were their family, that you could live with them as long as you wished.

You felt your cold dead heart, so hardened by your mother's uncaring attitude, begin to blossom in your chest. You noticed, for the first time, how pretty Felix was, with his blond hair and the freckles dotting his skin, how firm his chest felt from years of martial arts when he pressed you up against it. You noticed the caring way he looked at you, the way he comforted you when you were sobbing your eyes out over a dumb boy, or how he always made sure to buy you your favorite drinks from the store. 

You noticed your stepfather's dimples when he smiled at you, his muscly arms when he lifted your things and carried them into the house. You noticed the way he would go out of his way to make your favorite foods when he saw you were down, how he didn't get a new girlfriend, probably because he thought you would be upset about it.

You noticed how they cared about you, but most of all, you noticed they were men. And it would plague your mind for years to come.

It started out innocent. Your heart sped up when they came to close, dreams of kissing plump familiar lips, blushing cheeks.

But then it became worse. 

And the day of your eighteenth birthday, you awoke sweaty and panting in your bed, two forbidden names falling from your mouth. 

You had never considered them as family, not really. Chris was your mother's new toy, and Felix was more of a friend than a brother. That careless attitude was coming back to haunt you.

So you left.

Packed your bags and went off to boarding school. It gave you a break from the suffocating tension that seemed to settle over the house with the loss of your mother. It made you feel guilty, here Chris was so broken up about your mother while you thirsted about him, fantasized about him bending you over the table and taking you ruthlessly. When Felix would smile at you, asking to cuddle and all you could think about was his pretty mouth doing other things to you. 

You couldn't take it anymore. 

Your twenty-first birthday was only a few days away when you returned from, settling back into your old room and your old routine. 

Chris welcomed you back with open arms, hugging you warmly and stroking your hair. “Missed you babygirl.” He would murmur in your ear, and you tried not to shiver at the familiar nickname. 

“Missed you too Chris.” With a pat on your back, he hoisted your luggage up and disappeared inside, arms flexing.

Felix tackled you in a hug next, pressing his lithe body into your back. He'd grown while you were gone, shoulder filling out and arms flexing as he hugged you tightly in a sweet back hug. You tried not to imagine what it would feel like if he was doing something else in this position. But this was Felix, he would never even imagine anything like that. 

“Missed you Oppa.”

He kissed your neck, and you breathed in his clean scent of sunflowers and things you couldn't quite place. He smelled like home. You jostled against him, accidentally rubbing your but against him and he flinched, pulling away slightly.

You froze, it couldn't be, right? Your sweet innocent brother Felix would never…

He pulled away fully and you decided it was best to ignore it for now, so you grabbed his hand, leading him in. 

He smiled at you, and you grinned back. “Dad and I made you a welcome back dinner, it's gonna be great.”

He let you lead him inside, the screen door slamming behind the two of you. You were home.

𝄑𝄑𝄑

You loved being back. The familiar smell of Chris’s cooking, your video game nights with Felix, and most of all, having a family again. But you still couldn't shake that tension. You knew you were the problem and it made you feel guilty. It was hard to cuddle on the couch with Felix when all you could think about was riding him right on this very couch.

It was hard to work out with Chris when you just wanted him to take you in the dirty gym over the workout machines.

But then, on the eve of your twenty-first birthday, when you were all gathered around the table serving the delicious chocolate cake you and Felix had made, you noticed something. 

Maybe it was the way their gazes were focused on you, maybe it was the lighting, playing tricks on your brain, but you swore you saw a flicker of desire in their eyes. You shook it off, sighting your horny imagination, and enjoyed your cake, but you could never really forget it.

Over the next few weeks, you noticed things. Lingering glances, guilty eyes flicking away from your cleavage when you wore low-cut shirts when you had sunbathed out by the pool and Chris had come out, dragging his eyes away from your figure as he handed you a glass of homemade lemonade. Or the fact that Felix had laundry duty and some of your panties had mysteriously gone missing. 

They both wanted you, that was obvious, but lingering doubts stopped them from just taking you, taking what they wanted. They seemed to think you didn't want them, but oh how wrong they were. They just needed a little push.

So you hatched a plan.

𝄑𝄑𝄑

Your plan was set in motion on a Saturday night. Chris had just gotten back from work, and you bounced over to him, all smiles. “Hey Chris, Felix is gone, and I really wanna watch this movie.” You pouted as he removed his coat, sending him those puppy eyes you knew he was weak for. “Watch it with me.”

He nodded, like the weak man he was, and met your sweet smile as you grabbed his hand, bouncing happily over to the couch and pushing him down. “Gonna go change.”

You make sure to wear your sluttiest pj set, a silk lace tank top, and some matching undies, and bounce back downstairs, plopping yourself down and cuddling up to Chris. “Ready.”  Is all you said, grabbing the remote and starting the movie.

He coughs a little, clearing his throat awkwardly. “Aren't you a little cold? Your Pj’s are, um, small.”

You smile up at him innocently, standing up. “Maybe a little, but you're so warm.” You say, and plop down right in his lap. “There, problem solved.” You smile up at him and he smiles back tightly, hands automatically gripping your hips and adjusting you slightly.

You feel your pussy throb at that unexpected show of strength. You're going to go insane if one of your hot sudo family members doesn't fuck you this instant.

So you ramp it up. 

Pretending to be cold, you move backward, jostling around on his lap intentionally. He grunts a little, hands on your waist making butterflies flutter in your stomach.

\You're winning though, you can tell when you move a little too much, and your but brushes up against something big and hard. He winces, opening his mouth to apologize, but his words dissolve in his throat as you grind down, head falling against his shoulder. 

His voice is hoarse when he speaks, “We should stop.”

You grind your core directly on his length and you both groan. His hands move your hips, grinding them against him. He speaks again. “Tell me to stop.”

You can see the guilt in his eyes, the turmoil that wars within him so you shut him up with a kiss. 

“Chris. Fuck me.”

He tries to resist, you feel him brace to pull away, and so you move falling backward off the couch and pulling him with you as you crash to the floor. If you were less horny you would appreciate how he protects the back of your head as you fall, but at this moment you just need his hands on you, his lips on your own, his cock inside you—

So you reach up, sealing your lips in a kiss. He kisses back immediately, his tongue finding its way into your mouth. The kiss is wild, passionate, and hungry, weeks of pent-up lust and longing culminating in this very moment. 

He practically devours your mouth, hands ripping your pretty pj set in his hast as he rips it off. You whine in protest and he pulls away, kissing down your body. “Don't worry baby girl, I'll buy you another.”

Your core clenches at that nickname and you grip his hair, forcing his face down. He obliges, his hot breath teasing your wet core. His voice is a growl when he speaks. “So wet for me. Do you want my cock that much?”

You whine, bucking helplessly into the air. “Yes, want Daddy's cock.”

He chuckles, planting a sweet kiss on your clothed core as you writhe with need. “Such a pretty slut for Daddy.”

You whine and he finally pulls your panties aside, diving into your pussy like a man starved. The sounds that leave your mouth are sinful, moans and pants of his name ring off the walls of the living room.

You're so distracted you don't hear the sound of the front door slamming, Felix’s carefree humming as he makes his way down the hall, headphones blaring. 

𝄑𝄑𝄑

Felix felt guilty that he couldn't watch that movie with you, but the school called and his professor offered him a chance he simply couldn't turn down.

As he arrived home, however, headphones glued to his head, he practically skipped up the path, Happy to see you. He slammed the door open, closing it just as loudly and tromping down the hall, towards the kitchen. He was hungry, there were probably some leftovers in the fridge. He opened the door to the living room and froze, not believing his eyes.

There you were, spread out on the carpet, naked. And that was his dad between your legs.

Felix froze. He couldn't believe this. 

He had never been so jealous of somebody in his life.

It had started years ago when he had met you, to be honest. You were sweet and kind and irresistible to his teenage mind. And you liked prancing around the house in skimpy little crop tops and shorts and Felix was only a man. You were touchy too, always pressed against him and in his lap, and Felix had spent many a night huddled in his bed frantically jerking off as quietly as possible.

He still remembered that one time your little family had decided to go to the beach. Felix had suffered a lot that day, doing his best to not get hard as you pranced around the beach in that cute bathing suit, dragging him around as you usually did. And then you had asked him to put sunscreen on your back.

Felix might have died and gone to heaven that day.

It had only gotten worse and worse, and you got your heart broken by the jerks you dated. Felix knew he could have treated you so much better than those jerks, but he had accepted being there for you as you cried over those assholes, ignoring the throbbing in his chest and groin and comforting you the best he could. 

But then you had returned home from boarding school. Felix had thought you couldn't get more pretty than you already were, but you had. Your figure had filled out and you had become more confident. Your clothes had become skimpier and your legs longer and everything about you was just meant to taunt him.

You were irresistible, and he knew his dad was feeling your effect too, but to walk into this. 

Felix watched guiltily, his stomach roiling with jealousy and arousal and you gripped his dad's hair, bucking wilding into his face. He stumbled back, crashing into a coat rack. Your eyes shot up, meeting him and he looked away guiltily. 

He hurriedly bowed, stuttering out an apology, but you stopped the flow of words, crooking a finger at him. He stared at you in disbelief, and you nodded. He bounded over, ever the happy puppy and you turned over, on your hands and knees, presenting your ass to your daddy. He grinned at you, as Felix gripped your chin, kissing you sweetly as he fiddled with the zipper on his pants. You helped him, releasing him from the prison his pants had become.

Your mouth watered. How was it possible for a cock to be pretty? He was large as well and you stuck our tongue out, giving it a hesitant lick. He groaned and encouraged, you took him in your mouth, gagging around his girth. 

You moved slowly at first, getting used to his cock as his hands lodged themselves in your hair controlling your movements. You were so distracted you forgot about Chris, right up until you felt a hot heat brushing against your entrance. 

Chris chuckled darkly, the head of his cock nudging the walls of your pussy apart as he spears you open. You moan helplessly around Felix’s cock as he bottoms out, his cock impossibly deep in you.

His voice is a rasp when he speaks. “Look at you, a perfect little slut for Daddy. Taking your step-brother's cock so good.” You clench and he laughs. “You like that?”

He begins to move, long harsh thrusts that you feel in your gut, and Felix begins to fuck your face as well. You feel used, like a perfect little fuckdoll.

You love every minute of it. 

Chris leans over you, grunting those sexy words into your ear. “Look at you, taking daddy’s cock so well, like you were made for us.”

Felix’s pretty moans tangle with your own, creating a symphony of wounds. Felix speaks his voice full of wonder, “She’s so pretty, so perfect for us.” 

Chris chuckles, slapping your ass as Felis whimpers. 

You feel so full and perfect, your stomach pulsing with heat as you moan around Felix helplessly, trying to communicate with them. Felix speaks, his voice throaty. “I think she's cumming.”

Chris speeds up his thrusts. “You cumming around daddy’s cock you dirty girl?”

You moan helplessly and he chuckles, landing a harsh slap on your ass. “Felix, fuck her face. She likes it rough.” He nods, and obeys, gripping your cheeks and fucking you roughly. It's so unlike your sweet Felix, the kind boy with the sunshine smile, it makes you clench around Chris’s cock one more time. 

Chris feels it and his thrusts falter. “You want Daddy’s cum?” You nod helplessly, tears streaming down your face, muffled moans 

He flicks your clit and you come, screaming around Felix’s cock as he cums down your throat with a pretty moan. Chris grunts as he cums inside you, his thick cum dripping out of your hole as he pulls out. Felix lets your head fall forward, petting your hair as he pulls his still-hard cock out of your mouth. 

He looks up at his dad, “Can I have a turn?”

You whimper in response, pushing him down and sinking down on his length, Chris’s cum dripping out of your pussy. You both moan as he bottoms out, the stretch of a cock burning ever so slightly as he bucks up into you.

Big dick jeans run in the family it seems.

You hear footsteps and Chris grips your hair roughly, pulling your face up to look at him. Felix grips your hips and begins to fuck you down on him and you moan as Chris speaks again. “Do you like being used, pretty girl? You like being our obedient little fucktoy?” 

At your moan of acceptance, he chuckles, dropping your head and coming back around. You squeal as his fingers come in contact with your other hole, prying it open as he spits inside. Felix pulls you down into a kiss, still hammering inside you as his tongue fucks your mouth. Chris lines up his cock with your ass and without so much as a warming, bottoms out. You scream, overwhelming amounts of pain and pleasure rocking you.

You don't think you've ever taken so many large cocks at the same time.

Chris grunts, slapping your ass as he begins to thrust and matches pace with Felix as he grunts out, “Such a good little girl. Taking Daddy’s cock better than your mother ever did.”

You clench around him shamefully at the mention of your mother, your pride souring. He chuckles as Felix swallows your moans. 

“I've wanted to fuck you since you got back, Felix too. You're so irresistible, baby girl.”

Your fingers are drawing scratches in Felix’s freckled back as you clutch him tightly, Moaning up a storm as two cock drill into you, rendering you dumb and speechless.

You almost feel like they're fucking your brain out, and you clench around them, feeling that ever-present coil in your stomach tightens. 

Felix moves his hands, letting his dad control your hips and using them instead on your boobs, his lith fingers working magic on your hard nipples. You reward him by sucking hickeys into his pretty neck and he does the same, whimpering out your name as he bucks into you. You can tell he's going to cum and you are so close, almost there.

They both speed up their thrusts and Felix moves his hand, his fingers drawing small fast circles on your clit. With an embarrassingly loud moan, you cum, falling back onto Felix’s chest with a pant. 

Felix follows shortly after, pumping his cum into your greedy pussy. His dad follows not long after, with an unfairly attractive grunt.

He pulls out, and you feel their mixed seed dripping out of your fluttering holes, down your legs and onto the carpeted floor of the livingroom, dirtying your mothers favorite rug. 

Felix hoists you up, carrying you upstairs and settling you gently on his bed, stroking your hair as they clean you up. 

There's a lot that needs to be talked about, but for now, you pull them down with you, cuddling up with them as you drift off, surrounded by the people who care about you. 

originally posted on ao3 on 2023-05-29

reposted to tumblr on 2023-06-08

[roseworth]

forgot to actually say this in the ask but the idea of jason being his favorite for a time but specifically when he's dead... yeah. spending time away from fanon jason stans really does make you love him more because that would not have made me feel anything a while ago but that's so good. and makes so much sense but is very sad.

of course bruce was unable to stop thinking about jason when he was gone! and of course that love would be entirely unrecognizable to jason when he comes back! jason was isolated even alive! and besides their differing--viewpoints, jason has changed from the child that spent so much time mourning, and is doing things that bruce would find hard to see from anyone, and they're always standing opposite each other anyway so how could bruce, never very gifted in the emotions department in the first place, ever communicate how much jason means to him with all of that? and also there's the part where jason IS going around and murdering people, it would probably be a little hard for anyone to forgive of their kid, let alone bruce.

i'm probably getting mind of incoherent but i just. it is so very clear that bruce and jason care about each other, and it doesn't help their relationship at all because they're stuck like this forever. i LOVE when relationships are like this, ships for example where they never get together but they're in love forever are the best kind, and i always wish more people were just obsessed with that kind of. - emotional stranding? - in other kinds of relationships. maybe i'm looking in the wrong places and that's why i'm not finding other people who like this idk

but that's what makes me so obsessed with bruce, he's not even my favorite character but basically every single one of his important relationships is stuck like this. his kids his wife (talia❤️) his dad. he has an entirely different type of crazy with every single one of those people but the main thing those relationships have in common is that they encourage a lot of growth in each other at the beginning, and then life gets in the way or they grow past each other or miscommunicate themselves out of their former closeness. sorry to ramble at you for so long but what you said about jason and bruce turned me into an animal. i've been a sleeper agent this whole time apparently. stuck trying to think about his individual relationships with his other children now, all at the same time. you did this to me

(original post) hi im so sorry i know i said i would answer this like a week ago but i Forgot. but im here now <3

first of all HARD agree with what you said about loving relationships where both of them care about each other but cant make anything work despite it. its all about the love being there but it doesnt change anything and the way two people care about each other deeply and it changes everything about the dynamic but nothing about the circumstances. its so so good. youre so right that bruce is such a good character for this dynamic because his core beliefs and motivations are so important to him as a character that if he eases up on them even a little he becomes a completely different person, and it means that every relationship he has is strained because he cant waver on the beliefs that make him who he is

anyways. i want to talk about why i believe jason was the favorite child after he died but first i want to talk about dick. to me dick is and always will be bruce's favorite son. but not in a good way

ive heard some people say that jason was the favorite son while he was robin and thats a fine headcanon but i simply do not agree! i understand where people are coming from since bruce & dick had a very strained relationship at that time, meanwhile jason was just a happy and polite kid who liked being robin and didnt have many issues until starlin. but bruce & dick have such a specific relationship that even when they werent talking, dick was still bruce's favorite. bruce held dick in such high regard in his head that jason could never meet the standard, even though bruce rarely (outwardly) compared the two of them. bruce was projecting so much onto dick (in a way that he did to cass later on, which ill get back to in a sec) that jason could never meet the version of dick that existed in bruce's head. even the real dick instead of the idealized dick that bruce had made was better than jason to bruce because bruce had completely adopted the "my son's success is my success" mindset (which isnt necessarily a bad thing! in this case i would say that this is one of bruce's parenting wins) so he was proud of dick and watched him grow into what bruce was hoping he would (a successful, independent hero) even though they werent talking

not to mention! bruce explicitly tells dick that he brought in jason to fill the hole in his life left by dick (the dick hole. hehe) i dont like the idea that jason was constantly being compared to dick because thats not entirely true because bruce rarely openly brought up dick around jason, but he definitely was doing it in his head. he wanted jason to be dick, but he wasnt the Evil Father that some people try to make him out to be. he just adopted jason to have someone in his life like dick was, and he wanted jason to be what dick was to him even though he couldnt replicate the relationship he had with dick because it was so dependent on where each of them were in their lives when they met and became Batman and Robin. and bruce confirms that in batman #416 that he adopted jason because he missed dick and needed someone else in his life

anyways back to jason. i do believe that jason was briefly the favorite while he was dead. i love this post saying that one of bruce's favorite children is jason's corpse because its so fucking real

im gonna get off topic for a second but i swear i have a point. in the play buried child by sam shepard, the mom (halie) constantly talks about her dead son ansel and talks about how he was an american hero, an athlete, and many other amazing things. hes the representation of the american dream in the play, but hes dead, showing the disillusionment of the family. but halie is constantly bringing him up and shes convinced that he was the perfect son and he would've made her proud, unlike her other sons who disappointed her. and her sons keep trying to correct her about who ansel was because she would get things wrong, like how shes convinced ansel played basketball even though he never did, but she refused to listen because he was the Golden Child in her mind and she had a perfect image of him when she looked back on his life, because he was dead and now had never disappointed her

now. you can probably see where im going with this. bruce wasnt as bad as halie but i do think that the idea is the same. since jason was dead, it was a lot easier to think about all the good things and imagine how good it could've been if jason was there. even the "he wouldnt listen" line in that screenshot ^ is the same idea! if the dead son had only listened to his parent's warning, he would still be alive and it would be fine! its a lot easier for bruce to think about jason when he's dead because jason cant disappoint him when hes dead. and he doesnt have to worry about the things that bruce doesnt like to do, such as deal with emotions, and can just create this perfect version of robin jason where he was happy and a great hero and there were never and never could be any issues! if only he had listened!

if im being honest theres a lot of canon evidence against this theory. but canon evidence is stupid and im better than that! kidding but the thing is that there was so much difference in how bruce talked about jason every time he was brought up that its hard to exactly pinpoint how anyone felt, so i am simply cherrypicking canon to create my favorite narrative <3

bruce thinks of jason as what he could've been because he only exists in good memories and a glass case when hes dead, and bruce genuinely does not want jason to come back to life. every time jason "came back" before under the red hood, bruce was upset about it. he wanted jason to stay dead because he wanted jason to be able to rest. but also? bruce would rather jason be dead than come back as a villain. he would rather jason live in his memories as the perfect son than be alive and fighting against him. in batman #618, clayface pretends to be jason and bruce is (somewhat) thankful that its not actually jason, because he would rather jason stay dead than be hush

so its safe to say jason very quickly stops being the favorite when he actually comes back to life. i could still believe that jason's corpse is one of bruce's favorites even after jason is alive because bruce still brings up jason's death and how it affected him, and he mourns what he used to have with jason before jason had his own morals and motivations

anyways. cass time <3

like you said in your original ask, a lot of people say that cass is bruce's favorite but its a lot more complicated than that because especially at first, bruce sees her as less of a daughter than an extension of himself but in a different way than dick. when bruce looks at dick, hes kind of like a batman appendage. they are different people and bruce understands that and usually nurtures that to help dick. with cass on the other hand, he sees cass almost as a carbon copy of him so he gives her what he would've wanted at her age and treats her the way that he wanted to be treated. technically hes right that she also wants to be treated like that, but as we see over and over again in batgirl 2000, just because she wants it doesnt mean its good for her. hes not nurturing her as a daughter, hes nurturing her as a smaller version of himself. and again like you said in your ask, cass is too similar to him. they dont really get into fights because of it, but i think he hates himself too much to love cass that much

and the thing is. bruce has an idea of cass in his head that isnt real. he sees her as himself and whenever he hears something that could change that image, he pretends its not real. he refuses to believe that cass killed someone because HE wouldnt kill someone, so obviously cass didnt either. she cant possibly like being outside or talking to people because HE doesnt like that, and theyre the same person so babs must be forcing her to (which.. im not talking about babs and cass right now so i wont go into it but like. yeah she is). he created what he thinks cass is and what he thinks she should be, so anything that threatens that isnt real to him. if (*IF*) cass is the favorite child, its not actually cass. its the version of cass that he wishes was real (a lot like the version of jason's corpse that he wishes was real)

i love this panel from detective comics #790 because first of all its funny to me that bruce immediately tells cass to go to babs with any emotion or problem. but also it says so much about their relationship. bruce isnt there to be cass's father, he's there to be batman to her. hes not exactly neglecting her, but he definitely is not emotionally there for her (not that hes emotionally there for anyone else. but he certainly has no interest in listening to cass's feelings)

as time goes on he starts seeing her as a daughter and she sees him as a father, but even after he starts seeing her as a child she's still not his favorite. like i talked about before, bruce & dick just have such an intricate and specific relationship that no one can ever meet the same standard. even when bruce loves cass as a daughter, he's always going to care more about dick because seeing dick go through the same trauma as him then raising him to be different than him (but the same in the ways that matter to him) means so much more to him than anything he has with his other kids

so yeah. in conclusion dick is the favorite child but sometimes the ghost of jason or the projected version of cass can beat dick depending on his mood

[fruitcoops]

hello lovely eve. ive been having thoughts, recently. anyway wondering if you would want to write something to do with the day/time after a hard day. youve done some of my absolutely favourite fics for like Bad Days (im thinking esp rn of what we deserve (i think thats what its called)) but also after that? bc the after support is so crucial and i think the lions would do so well. any ship!! if not, i totally understand, i hope your day/week is lovelylovely!!

This is such a great prompt! The aftershocks of hard events are just as important as the conflict itself--this ask was combined with one for a timeskip followup to Self-Care, a fic about Finn's bad habits. All characters belong to @lumosinlove <3

Leo paused at the back of the couch and bent, nestling a kiss on the top of Finn’s head. “Good book?”

A quiet hum answered.

“Good part?”

Another hum; Finn pressed up and Leo tilted his head to leave another kiss on his temple. A clatter and a soft curse filtered out of the kitchen, but Finn hardly flinched.

Leo nuzzled against the wispy, silken ends of his hair until his cheek could slot just above Finn’s ear. The couch dug into his stomach a bit, but he didn’t mind. “You tired?”

Finn’s laugh answered his question before his words ever could. “Yeah.”

He picked at the hem of Leo’s threadbare Saints sweatshirt with a sleepy kind of apathy. His book hung limp from the fingers of his other hand, abandoned only two pages past where it had been the last time Leo checked on him. Finn’s breaths were methodic when he rubbed a palm over his chest and nibbled the shell of his ear, just to watch a smile pull at his tired eyes. “Come to bed.”

Finn cast him a sideways, skeptical look. “It’s 8:45.”

“And you’re the sleep police?” Leo hooked a finger in the collar of his sweatshirt and pulled. “It’s been a long day. You’re tired. We can fix that problem with our nice new mattress.”

Finn was quiet for a moment; Leo felt him lean back into the cushions and the cradle of his arm, a slow breath leaving him when Leo began toying with the hoodie strings. “You know, I kind of miss the old one.”

“It barely fit us.”

“Yeah.” Fondness shone on every word. “It was nice. Waking up all over each other. Always had you in arm’s reach.” Another beat of silence passed. “I lose you at night, sometimes.”

Oh god. Leo’s heart yanked—he held Finn a little tighter. “Sorry, cher.”

“Not your fault.”

“Is that…is that why you were upset today?” Logan came out of the kitchen with a precarious tray of tea, tongue poking out over his lower lip as he balanced their mugs on the table. Leo caught his eye and gave a small smile that relaxed the pinch of his forehead.

Finn took no notice of the change, save for a shift to the side in an obvious bid to have Logan sit next to him. “Nah,” he said as Logan took the hint and tucked himself between the arm rest and Finn. “Just a bad day, I think. Sorry.”

“Nothing to be sorry for.” Logan tugged the book from Finn’s hands and set it aside, then replaced it with a mug of tea and pressed his fingers around the warm ceramic with an encouraging nudge. “Drink. You’ll sleep better.”

Finn smiled wryly. “Morphine? Chloroform?”

“Decaf. Very potent.”

“Thanks, Lo.”

Logan poked his ankle with his foot and snuggled Finn under his arm. “Don’t thank me for things you do every day.”

Finn went to protest, but something on their faces must have stopped him, because he bit back the words and took an obedient sip of tea. Leo didn’t know why he watched so intently—maybe for reassurance, maybe to make sure Finn was really on the up-and-up. Steam curled up around his copper lashes and turned the tips invisible when he blinked. He gave a nod. “ ‘S good.”

“Of course it is.”

“I’m—” Finn pressed his lips together and exhaled; steam billowed off his mug. “I’m sorry my brain doesn’t work right.”

Once, that would have broken Leo’s heart. Once, he would have jumped to soothe and bent over backwards to fix it all. Once, he would have taken it as personally as a slap to the face. Not enough. Not good enough. Missing Finn’s signals left and right—did Leo even love him, if he couldn’t pay attention?

The tight ball of insecurity in his chest may as well have been a marble, rolling about and looking for something to knock over in an empty room. He kissed the top of Finn’s head again. “I don’t see anything you need to be sorry for.”

“I’m sorry I missed your pass earlier,” Logan said, taking a long sip of his own tea. “It was a good one. I just wasn’t looking.”

Finn’s shoulders relaxed under Leo’s hand. Fuck yeah, Tremblay. There’s my MVP. “Really?”

“Mhmm.”

“What about—”

“You were on form.” Normally, Leo didn’t like it when Logan interrupted. This seemed like a much-needed exception. Logan raised his eyebrows at Finn’s suspicious look. “You were. I know you don’t feel like it, but you looked really good out there. That pass was on me.”

Finn’s punch to his shoulder was a roll of knuckles at best. Logan still smiled, still took it with faux-hurt and a hand over the heart. “Eyes up, Tremzy.”

Logan whistled quietly. “Five for fighting and two for roughing. What would Coach say?”

“Doesn’t count if you deserved it.”

“Oh, is that how that works?” Leo laughed. Logan glanced up at him with an impish grin, and passed the last mug over the couch. Peppermint filled the air, sweetened by honey.

They drank in relative silence, hands and legs and arms looped around each other until Leo could hardly tell where one ended and another began. Finn was right; however nice it was to not risk falling off the mattress in the middle of the night, he did miss the inevitable proximity of fitting three people on a single bed.

He supposed it wouldn’t be too hard to make an effort tonight.

The clock ticked as nine o’clock arrived at last. Leo finished the last of his tea and leaned over Finn to set it on the table, offering an apology in the form of a kiss to his cheekbone. “Bedtime.”

“Yeah.”

Logan took the mugs, Leo took Finn, and Finn went without protest into a brief, firm hug. “Love you,” Leo murmured. He felt the answering mumble more than he heard it. “Your brain isn’t broken.”

Finn sighed, slipping his hands under Leo’s shirt to rest against his skin. “Feels broken.”

“I think it’s pretty great, regardless.”

“You’re just a really nice person, Le.”

“I just love you a whole lot.” He let Finn pull away and cupped his face in both hands, running his thumbs along the summer lilac under his eyes. Exhaustion tarnished his bright edges. “Come to bed with me?”

Finn rested there for several seconds, then nodded. They went together.

Leo had only just managed to tuck Finn into the curve of his body before Logan was there, shuffling under the sheets to join them and reaching over Finn’s waist to hold the crook of Leo’s elbow. Finn made a quiet, sleepy noise and pushed his face into Logan’s chest; Logan’s eyes crinkled at the corners, and his expression only grew more contented when he looked up and found Leo already watching them.

Leo waited until Finn had mostly relaxed into drowsy limbo before risking a thumbs-up across the sheets. Logan fought back a smile and returned it, nose scrunching. Success. Another win for their tally. It was a shit day, a hard day, but they could still end it like this and that would be more than enough.

[zundamind]

wow, would you look at that! it's been a full ass year since you fucked me over! september 29th.... yeahh..... XD our fuck-you-versary! hi clifford!

in case you dont remember, the name piko might jog your mind. yeah thats me!! hellwo!! honestly you shouldve known better than to stick with your old username but hey props on you for changing it last minute! almost didnt find you for a second lolll!!

i wanted to drop in and say HEY! HELLO! HI! and give you some status updates :3

update one: i'm getting better!! no thanks to you, of course. and actually i should say we're getting better. yep! thats what happens when you suffer so bad your brain cant take suffering solo! XD

update two: while my mental health has been at an all time low ever since you fucking dropped me like a fucking ROCK, ive been getting over things lately! my clean streaks are now longer than a week! i no longer want to kms! im even making friends again!

update three: while both of the above statements are true, you still live in my mind rent free. i remember when i first stumbled across your blog a few months ago, i had a full on spiral! not anymore, though. i am STEEL, BABY! also you spinning in the mental microwave rent free is why i'm sending you this heartfelt ask!

man.... even when i try, i still find you somehow and its never intentional. like imagine scrolling the tptm tag only to be straight up jumpscared by your ex best friend's username! how embarrassing!

also i'm sorry but i have to say the reason(s) you left are sooo fucking stupid..... what, cus i was weird? come on. everyones a little weird. even a little deviantart weird. oh and because of some stupid opinions that shouldntve even mattered if you were actually a friend? get real, trey. what if i left your ass because you had a fuckin biting kink? that wouldve been funny actually. like making a sad callout post on twitter thats just "my friend left me because i wasnt vanilla enough!" XDDD

oh, and if you ever see your "stalker" again, assuming you're not thinking its me and that its actually your previous qpr or whatever the fuck, say hi! i find it funny as FUCK, since, you know, you were considering cyberstalking me at one point. and tell chaos i said hi too. i'd also mention mayu, but do you two even keep in touch anymore? probably not, considering the weird things she's done.

anyways thats the end of my relay. if you dont want these kinds of asks again, i suggest either turning asks off or just straight up deleting your tumblr and/or making another one that is NOT connected to any username youve used in the past, because in that case i'll just find your ass again lmaooo. remember! every year on this day will be the day i remind you that you are NOT allowed to stay sane X3

sincerely, your most hated, piko. (i hardly use my old blog anymore, so have fun finding my current blog! and do what you want with this ask, make a callout post, scream into the ethers, reply to it, idc.)

this should stay private but idc

i know what i did was wrong piko! i was 12-13.

dont take this as me excusing myself. i had horrible emotional regulation back then, ive healed from everything back there. you dont deserve to be called out because ur like. 14-15.

do not bring mayu or chaos into this,weve all healed and forgot abt you.

i overreacted bc of very worthless things because i was basically obsessed witj you, you were my fp, if you didnt know.

completely forgot you even existed, i havent been checking your profiles at all in months. you shouldnt either, please forget about me. you'll drive yourself crazy.,

if you think im going to "cancel" you, no im not. for your sake, please dont interact with me anymore. i apologize for how i acted over stupid things, but we were both young and idiotic. im also a system, i dont even remember half of the things you did bc of that.

move on. ive moved on, weve all moved on.

dont bother yourself with me, you dont need to.

[psyf0rk]

im curious about the fandom video essay one bc for me, ive always viewed it as: aa gets ports. like a lot of them. as such, aa is way more accessible to play compared to layton, where youre either stuck with watching an old playthrough of the games, or trying to 1) get a 3ds if you dont have one, and 2) buying the games (which can sometimes be very expensive). plus, people probably vibe with the mystery solving aspect of one or the other differently. i’ve honestly been begging for pl ports for years, and not just for switch. but i think layton is definitely something thats like. a series that ppl look fondly back on. which is why you see so many people be excited when new world of steam was first announced.

anyway sorry for putting all this in your inbox it’s just been my biggest complaint for yrs that layton has not been ported over yet and the one game thats on switch kinda did poorly. i would love for the fandom to grow

HII !! firstly thank you so much for asking !! im really glad to know this sorta thing doesnt just bug me ,, and secondly i apologise for answering so late ,, i was travelling all day yesterday 😭😭

YEAH!! Ports was going to be one of my points that id put in the video if i were to make it ,,

I completely agree with your point , Ive already heard people say the 3ds is a “dead console” (and yeah it is i just cant accept it ) ((LMAO)) ,, making it inaccessible to SO many people ,, when they could have found out about it . Like , layton still has the potential to bring in new fans , Im an example of that ,, lost future captured my heart and bought every game like a week later ; The games themselves are masterpeices , and more people deserve to know about them.

Secondly yeah ,I know people may be used to the mystery solving aspect of one or the other ,, but thats another problem anyway I think the main glue that layton has is its story tbh (less so with prequel trilogy but thats another point )

They could port the first trilogy really nicely (like they did with aa1-3) and brand it as a mystery game could THE POTENTIAL IS THERE. !!!!. And id people probably dont look back on it fondly im so sad :( Theyre amazing games but idk i didnt play them in layton prime 😭😭🙏

Also ports not just for switch YES !!! Reiterating what you said ; Theyre only playable on decaying consoles , and the gaming industry is changing , level 5 should adapt to this and not stay stuck in the past !! If people stumble across layton and decide to look into it ,, it would be better for it just to be at least on steam r smth ,, so they can acc play it cause playthroughs are awful . Like can you imagine curious village with polished sprites ??? dude that would be so good .

And yeah !! lets hope NWOS revives layton ,, from what is seems it looks really polished but they were 3 games late to what AA did well ,, give a new protagonist focus . NWOS (from what ive seen) will center more around luke ,, which is what the prequel trilogy should have done . (AA made their second trilogy center around apollo, )

and dang it i rambled slighty off topic mb

😭😭

[59candelas]

(This is my first gif, sorry its not very good, but it was the only one that applied to the story.)

Let Me Teach You|Egon Spengler x Reader|New Years Eve Special

Notes: Egon is dating reader.

Genre: Fluff 🌷

⚠️Warnings: Kissing, pet names.

Summary: Egon teaches you how to use a proton pack, guiding you the whole way.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Just like that, you’re doing so good.”

“1,2,3,4. 1,2,3,4.”

Thats what you’ve been hearing for the past 30 minutes, and all you were doing was practically dancing.

You had asked Egon for weeks to teach you how to use a proton pack, but he kept saying “No, its too dangerous.” Every time you asked. But when you told him you wanted to be a Ghostbuster with him he thought maybe if he was with you the whole time even though you wanted to do it yourself, he could teach you, so you settled on that.

“Egon, why are we dancing.”

You said almost not questioning.

“Its not dancing, its footwork. Footwork is the most important part of learning how to use a proton pack.”

“Peter said that you just wanted to hold my waist, and say sweet nothings into my ear. Is that true?”

“No its not, but I do like doing it yes, but thats not why i’m doing this. Its proven that if a person listens to lovable things they will focus more.”

“I don’t believe that.”

“Oh really? Well last time I checked you’re doing it without my help right now.”

You were confused until you realized he had let go of you, and you were doing it yourself.

“Wait what!”

Egon just chuckled, and figured it was time to actually teach you how to use a proton pack.

You didn’t know what you were going to use it on, but Egon said you could use it on some bottles.

“Okay, just remember the steps we did, i’m going to be here guiding you the whole time so if it gets to hard to control just let me know, and i’ll turn it off.”

“Yeah yeah lets just do this, i’m ready!”

You said that in a kind of playful way, Egon just nodded.

“Okay, i’m turning it on in 3..2..1!”

As soon as it blasted on, it was a lot harder than you thought.

“Egon! This is hard!”

You had to shout over the loudness of the proton pack.

“Its ok! Just focus!”

Egon said back.

With Egon helping guide you, it did make it a lot easier, you were glad you had him helping you.

You started to get the hang of it as Egon was saying sweet nothings into your ear once again.

“There you go, just like that. Think of how good of a Ghostbuster you’ll be now.”

Egon said the proton pack will eventually overheat, but he didn’t tell you when.

“Okay Y/N, i’m going to turn it off, its going to overheat soon!”

“Okay!”

You shouted back.

Once Egon turned off the proton pack you didn’t realize how tired you were from using the proton pack, and doing footwork all day.

“E-Egon.”

“Hm?”

“I’m t-tired.”

“Yeah, thats normal for your first time, we can go lie down if you want. It is getting kind of late anyways.”

“Okay.”

You said that almost not audible, but it was loud enough for Egon to hear.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Time Skip To Inside The Firehouse

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Egon?”

You asked.

“Hm?”

“Do you think I did good today?”

“Of course sweetheart, you did amazing.”

“Mm okay.”

“Are you ready for bed? Its late, and I bet you’re tired from today.”

“Yeah.”

As you both got ready for bed, you remembered Egon said he would reward you for doing a good job.”

“Hey, Egon?”

“Hm?”

“Didn’t you say I was getting a reward?”

“Oh yes, Can you go lie down for me?”

“Um okay?”

You were confused by his request, but you just obeyed, and went to lie down.

Soon after Egon came to lie down with you.

“Are you ready for your reward?”

“Yes i’m ready.”

As soon as you said that Egon started kissing you everywhere, your forehead, nose, face, neck, collar bone, basically everywhere he could get to.

“Egon! You’re tickling me!”

“Oh am I? Maybe I should do something else.”

You could feel his smirk saying that into your neck, you had no idea what was going to happen next.

Egon grabbed your hands, and held them atop your head to where you couldn’t move, and started tickling you all over.

“E-Egon!, S-stop! This i-is more o-of a punishment th-than a reward!”

It was hard for you to say anything because of how much giggling you were making.

“You’re right, i’ll stop.”

As he stopped you were even more tired than you were before, and after caching a few more breaths you closed your eyes. Egon went over to his side of the bed, and turned the lamp off.

“Goodnight love.”

“Mmm goodnight Egon.”

-59Candelas

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I hope you guys liked this story! I apologize if there is any mess ups in the story, but other than that have a nice day, and Happy New Year!

[cleromancy]

What is your opinion on KonTim? I noticed you posting a lot of Kontim lately and I was wondering if you are beginning to like it? Also, since I know you stated you didn't like Kon in the past, are you beginning to change your mind about him?

to be honest my opinions from 12-13 years ago when i was a very angry very opinionated teenager often dont reflect my current opinions. i just want to establish that now.

but for the record my dislike of kon was more of a reflex to the way fandom at the time made him this very flat "aw shucks" kind of cardboard cutout. i only started disliking him when i tried reading more of his comics where he tended to be y'know. more nuanced, he'd be a jerk sometimes, inconsiderate and thoughtless, etc, and then turning around and going on tumblr where the way people talked about him didnt reflect that at all, that was really offputting for me. because i do--and did--love characters who are assholes, but not if thats not... like... acknowledged. and fandom was *aggressively* not acknowledging it, from my perspective. anyway i think when i get around to rereading yj98 ill like him more this time. particularly because i *am* so much older now and will be reading from more of a place of "yeah of course hes a shithead sometimes, hes 16 years old (for a given value of 16 years old)."

as for timkon i wouldn't say i "ship" it. and i would also like to contest the assertion that ive been posting "a lot" of it lately LMAO i think ive posted it like two times in as many weeks, and then maybe 2 more times i rbed smth where they were in the same nonshippy frame or textpost?

but back to the ship itself. to begin with they *are* very good friends whose relationship is important to them both, that changed them both, and that has an impact on characterization. and i dont... think you can read a lot of those old tim comics, if you read him as queer at all, without acknowledging that there was at at least one point something btwn them.

but as far as shipping it goes. first of all i still think most of fandom does it wrong. (if im being serious, theres no "wrong" way to do fandom, but that's also the most succinct way i can put it that i don't vibe with the majority of the stuff thats out there.) second of all i don't... like i dont *want* them to get together, exactly, unless a given writer is doing a really good job at the yarn theyre spinning convincing me otherwise, within the boundaries of that story.

but there *is* something btwn them, romantically speaking, and it has a lot of interesting character/relationship potential to explore for both of them. i am at the moment almost entirely uninterested in exploring it from kons side, which is another reason i dont really ship it, but that might change when i get around to rereading yj98. but i really don't think you can get a full picture of new earth tim drake as a character without admitting he at least had a thing for kon when kon was dead, any other point in time being much more up for interpretation.

so basically! 1. its interesting when its allowed to be interesting and not flattened into featureless fluff 2. i dont ship it AS SUCH but it absolutely was a thing that happened even if they never date or dated, and 3. as for kon himself i think ill be a lot more forgiving now both bc i Am older and bc no one in my fannish circle these days is annoying about him where i see it LMAO