#it sure fucking is to me.
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There are so many things I do instead of writing on my own game. And one of it includes NSFW FF for @pressplay-if
BCS I haven't bitten you today yet. (Yes it's shortly past midnight, get over it, I'm at work and I'm having so many thinkerings about Lincoln.)
Written with m Lin and TM MC in mind. I will only ever write TM MC. You can't stop me.
This is smut, so I will moderate heavily on it. Also mention of self harm scars.
Lincoln makes an audible "oof" as he falls onto the mattress, and your body follows him on top. Well, technically he has been pulling you with him onto the mattress, not that you're too annoyed by it, but landing on his stomach wasn't as soft as the TV Shows and movies always made it out to be.
You pull yourself up into a sitting position, your hair cascading down, he watches it intently. Both hands are placed on the mattress next to him. "Now what?" You ask.
It's not that you didn't have a handful of extremely awkward sexual encounters before, or that you had never thought of being on top of another person. There tends to be one really important logistical error on those fantasies. You're honestly lazy and sex has never been a motivator on your end.
"Do whatever you want to me." Lincoln answers, his words hasty, as his hands reach your legs, slowly caressing them, until they stop at your hips. His eyes flicker down to his hands and then back up.
You cock your head, looking over his face. Sure, he seems to be happy with whatever you will do. You could ask him to flip you over and go crazy until he's satisfied. You could probably slap his face and he'd thank you for it. It's not that you don't care which one, but both ends sound fine to you. "I do really well with instructions, Lin."
"O-oh." He looks away, for a moment, flushing cheeks, he turns back to you, rather determined, he gives you an instruction. "Hurt me."
"Okay, I can do that." You finally lean back and shift your entire weight on his hips. If Lin had been older, you wouldn't do that, but you can make him sore without much moving. He wants to be hurt? He picked a great person to do that.
His fingers hold onto your hip, biting his lip for just a moment- He thinks you're going to chicken out. You give him a smile and reach for the hem of your T Shirt, it's enough to keep him entertained, while you take a look around his bedroom.
"You're rich." You finally remark. His fingers glide to join yours, but as they touch you scratch him, a gasp escapes him and he retreats his hands to your hip. "You could have anyone, really. It's not like anyone would say no. Not with the amount of money you have."
Lin answers quickly, "I don't want anyone, I want-"
"Me." You interrupt him. "You want me. You want someone who hurts you, defies you, takes away. And I know why it has to be me." You take your time taking your shirt off. It doesn't have to be sexy, or hot. He wants you, for what you are. You let him look you up and down. His eyes are halting first at your chest, you have forgotten how intimidating the mastectomy scars can look to someone who hasn't seen them before. His eyes widen and it slowly clicks in his brain. Instinctually, his eyes wander to your crotch, you know the kind of questions he has.
You answer none, instead you let your hands travel below his shirt as you carefully rock back and forth. It takes a moment, a good moment where his eyes flutter shut, and you can hear him suppress a moan in the back of his throat. But eventually he lays eyes on your hands, and subsequently, your wrists.
"There is a pain inside you, that no one was able to take care of. And it resonates with the pain I sing about." You hum some lyric before continuing, "Maybe you're jealous, or just a coward."
You brace yourself when suddenly his hips roll against yours. There goes your pretty speech, you were so ready to degrade him for connecting to your music while having none of your struggles. You're sure if you talk now, moans and stutters would escape you. You suddenly feel much more aware of yourself, grinding against him, technically being the least clothed person in the room. And how hot your face is getting.
A shaky breath escapes you as you push your hair behind your ear. You then dig your nails into his side, trying to find steady ground in him, but Lincoln offers none. "Fuck you," you breathe, "I was going to- ah-" you bite your tongue to keep yourself quiet.
Your muscles feel tight, like they are begging to be fed, and they only desire one thing. You want to give into it, as he pulls and pushes your hips against his. "Call you pathetic." You try to breathe, "For wanting me." There is an urge inside you to crawl inside him, to enjoy the warmth of his body. You claw at his stomach. Your fingernails are digging into the skin before quickly pulling them across his skin, leaving deep red marks on him.
He lets out a shaky moan, and it feeds the need inside you. Lin is so stupid for making you need him, want him, for filling the emptiness inside of you, and a part of you wants to strangle him. Instead you both stop at the sound of your hand connecting to his cheek. A red spot forms on his face and you reach out, wide eyed, "I'm sorry, I don't know why I did that and-"
"Do that again."
You blink, voice quieter now, "What?"
He lets out another shaky breath before finding your line of sight, "Hit me again." You open your mouth to answer and close it shut again. You had partners who liked being scratched and bitten- but hit? "That's an instruction." He adds.
"Okay." You nod, but first your hand cups his face, your fingers caressing the red spot. You make sure to hit the spot again, the red deepening quickly, a few times more and you're sure it'll bruise. You watch as Lincolns chest rises quickly, his head pushed into the mattress. And it finally clicks for you. Hurt him.
"You're getting off on this." You say, sounding a bit too excited, "You really meant it. To hurt you. Physically." You grasp his hand and pull it closer to your face, "You're going to let me do anything."
He nods eagerly, "Anything, really- Just hurt me." You grin not unlike a child, toothy and way too wide. You bring his wrist to your mouth and bite down.
Lincolns gasp and cry of pain fills your insides. You hold eye contact until he bleeds, and then you lick it up from his arm. Something carnal has been awakened, and you find yourself bitting, hitting, grinding, scratching, whatever you can do. His body is like one of those dolls you used to have, all easy to push around, manipulate, and destroy.
You wouldn't kill him, no. You're not that unhinged. But he opened up an opportunity you hadn't before in sex, to do what you want, to let your instincts and impulses take over. You don't even need to think. All you need is to take him, consume him, hurt him. And you have an appetite.
#basically ff#ff#pressplay if#not my if#but not my game#writing#i literally do anything BUT write on my own game#and no one can stop me#i dont know why but everytime i write smut it ends in cannibalism#its just my go to when i need to spice up sex#cannibalism is yaoi?#it sure fucking is to me.
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I want to step away from the art-vs-artist side of the Gaiman issue for a bit, and talk about, well, the rest of it. Because those emotions you're feeling would be the same without the art; the art just adds another layer.
Source: I worked with a guy who turned out to be heavily involved in an international, multi-state sex-slavery/trafficking ring.
He was really nice.
Yeah.
It hits like a dumptruck of shit. You don't feel stable in your world anymore. How could someone you interacted with, liked, also be a truly horrible person? How could your judgement be that bad? How can real people, not stylized cartoon bogeymen, be actually doing this shit?
You have to sit with the fact that you couldn't, or probably couldn't, have known. You should have no guilt as part of this horror — but guilt is almost certainly part of that mess you're feeling, because our brains do this associative thing, and somehow "I liked [the version of] the guy [that I knew]", or his creations, becomes "I made a horrible mistake and should feel guilty."
You didn't, loves, you didn't.
We're human, and we can only go by the information we have. And the information we have is only the smallest glimpse into someone else's life.
I didn't work closely with the guy I knew at work, but we chatted. He wasn't just nice; he was one of the only people outside my tiny department who seemed genuinely nice in a workplace that was rapidly becoming incredibly toxic. He loaned me a bike trainer. Occasionally he'd see me at the bus stop and give me a lift home.
Yup. I was a young woman in my twenties and rode in this guy's car. More than once.
When I tell this story that part usually makes people gasp. "You must feel so scared about what could have happened to you!" "You're so lucky nothing happened!"
No, that's not how it worked. I was never in danger. This guy targeted Korean women with little-to-no English who were coerced and powerless. A white, fluent, US citizen coworker wasn't a potential victim. I got to be a person, not prey.
Y'know that little warning bell that goes off, when you're around someone who might be a danger to you? That animal sense that says "Something is off here, watch out"?
Yeah, that doesn't ping if the preferred prey isn't around.
That's what rattled me the most about this. I liked to think of myself as willing to stand up for people with less power than me. I worked with Japanese exchange students in college and put myself bodily between them and creeps, and I sure as hell got that little alarm when some asian-schoolgirl fetishist schmoozed on them. But we were all there.
I had to learn that the alarm won't go off when the hunter isn't hunting. That it's not the solid indicator I might've thought it was. That sometimes this is what the privilege of not being prey does; it completely masks your ability to detect the horrors that are going on.
A lot of people point out that 'people like that' have amazing charisma and ability to lie and manipulate, and that's true. Anyone who's gotten away with this shit for decades is going to be way smoother than the pathetic little hangers-on I dealt with in university. But it's not just that. I seriously, deeply believe that he saw me as a person, and he did not extend personhood to his victims. We didn't have a fake coworker relationship. We had a real one. And just like I don't know the ins-and-outs of most of my coworkers lives, I had no idea that what he did on his down time was perpetrate horrors.
I know this is getting off the topic, but it's so very important. Especially as a message to cis guys: please understand that you won't recognize a creep the way you might think you will. If you're not the preferred prey, the hind-brain alarm won't go off. You have to listen to victims, not your gut feeling that the person seems perfectly nice and normal. It doesn't mean there's never a false accusation, but face the fact that it's usually real, and you don't have enough information to say otherwise.
So, yeah. It fucking sucks. Writing about this twists my insides into tense knots, and it was almost a decade ago. I was never in danger. No one I knew was hurt!
Just countless, powerless women, horrifically abused by someone who was nice to me.
You don't trust your own judgement quite the same way, after. And as utterly shitty as it is, as twisted up and unstead-in-the-world as I felt the day I found out — I don't actually think that's a bad thing.
I think we all need to question our own judgement. It makes us better people.
I don't see villains around every corner just because I knew one, once. But I do own the fact that I can't know, really know, about anyone except those closest to me. They have their own full lives. They'll go from the pinnacles of kindness to the depths of depravity — and I won't know.
It's not a failing. It's just being human. Something to remember before you slap labels on people, before you condemn them or idolize them. Think about how much you can't know, and how flawed our judgement always is.
Grieve for victims, and the feeling of betrayal. But maybe let yourself off the hook, and be a bit slower to skewer others on it.
#listen to old auntie Shades#serious#fuck I don't know how to tag this#I should probably read-more this but I'm not sure where#and now I need to go take a walk for my stupid mental health#you never stop processing#you do it over and over and over and over#and hope it gets a bit easier each time#Someone might get upset by using prey#but 'preferred prey' is an important concept from the predator's view#it doesn't mean the people are inherently prey#you feel me?#it's the best word I can find for the concept#neil gaiman#adjacent
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quiz enjoyers! i am now inviting you to come create something in my workshop❕
#new bracken quiz just dropped!!#only took me like three hours actually. kind of impressive#for the way that i write quizzes. i will go 'let me write a piece of short fiction' and then expect to do it in one sitting#I DID IT TONIGHT THOUGH. almost 2000 words in the document. crazy shit#anyway um. what if i told you all that this one is normal for sure. nice normal regular quiz that will be nice to you#i won't pinky promise but you are free to believe me if you want <3#uquiz#my uquizzes#my quizzes#uquiz quiz#uquizzes#uquiz link#quiz link#quizzes#quiz#is there a tag for fucked up narrative/poetry based quizzes. how do i get that to the target audience#^ guy who has been spending this whole time cultivating the target audience
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she's singing in another room and my dog is asleep at my feet. my grandma asked me why i haven't found a man yet and i laughed. oh, you know. i like my house clean.
my girlfriend is also my man is also "my partner" if i'm in a professional setting. yesterday we went to a ren faire and a man mimed at me - you're together? and at my delighted nod, his baffled, you're gay? made me laugh. a woman with rainbow hair said i love the two of you together. you're both so beautiful it's absurd.
my dad introduced my partner as my "..... friend. or whatever" the other day. he knows we're dating. in the same way, i was never able to get my sister's husband to stop saying that's gay like it's 2008. he still uses the word fa***t, and my sister's defense of him has always been well, he's just kidding.
my lover and i dance to old music in a tiny kitchen. we judge new music together and take food critique very seriously. we watch love is blind before we fall asleep and agree that if they had a queer season, it would be bloody but also make for excellent tv. of fucking course queer people would know someone for only 2 weeks and agree to get married. what are you saying.
at a bar with friends, a man puts his hand on my wrist. got a boyfriend? and yes, i do have a boyfriend, she's amazing. i am texting her while i wander around a gas station named after geese. i am visiting a swing state for a wedding. in the candy aisle i overhear: she's actually like a lesbian it's disgusting. two teenage girls with packaged sandwiches in their hands, giggling. no literally, like. i'm not, like. okay with her being there while we're all, like, naked and changing.
my girlfriend and i tailgate, drink gin and cider out of cups. from the frat group beside us, a man corrects himself with one of his friends: bro, i mean, nonbinary entity, and it makes everyone around him laugh, myself included. he razzes his friend the same way i would have killed for at 19 years old - like nothing happened, he continues: you apply sunscreen like an alien. he does a little sassy (and fairly accurate) dance interpretation of the motion. his friend is laughing so hard they're crying.
i am lucky, i live in a safe neighborhood in a safe state. my masc passenger princess comes up from DC. i drive her for an hour to where all the leaves are a violent arrangement of color. we walk along the trails, letting autumn into our blood. in this part of the state, there's a lot of pickup trucks and trump signs. when we chastely kiss before getting into the car, i accidentally make eye contact with a woman holding her child's wrist. she looks disgusted. she looks fucking pissed.
two hours later my girl and i are eating dinner on a patio, soaking in the last warmth of new england sun before the chill of winter sets in. we are giggling and trying to talk through plastic vampire teeth. at another table, i see a young woman sit up straighter. i watch her watch us. she blushes and takes her partner's hand from across the table. shy, like the taste of evening has just become something deeper.
it's worth it for this moment, i think. my lover is still humming the same song she's been singing for four days straight and i don't want to kill her for it. her guitar is beside my bed. her toothbrush is in my bathroom. in a few moments i will make us lunch. we are lucky enough to have found each other. it is lucky enough to be in love.
#writeblr#wlw#i often think about like.....#being happy in a gay relationship is sometimes so odd#bc u can forget how stupid ppl are.#bc ur so USED to being gay. and u forget other people GENUINELY ARE homophobic#so it's like. girl pardon?????#but also there are moments where it's like. ohhh the kids are alright#like watching someone razz someone else.... so fucking wholesome#“lemme get this bitche's pronouns before i make gentle fun of them” .... i would have KILLED for that.#THAT is how u know ur accepted#not just tolerated#..... when ppl are like. sure ur nonbinary congrats but WHAT is this fucking sunscreen application#ps idk if "razz'' is a real word but someone asked what it means -#i've always heard it as being a term for 'gentle & friendly teasing'' which like#i personally notice more from my guy friends but is like - when a person isn't#LIKE ACTUALLY teasing u (it's nothing personal/mean) they're just laughing w/you about something#my friends often put on a little voice and call me an anemic little bitch#like 'ooooo the anemic little bitch is cold??? does she need a mouse blanket#bc she's SOOOO SMALL AND ANEMIC???''#and it doesn't hurt my feelings (it makes me laugh very hard) bc 1. i actually called MYSELF that first#and 2. i'm not sensitive about it!!!#a proper razz is when you are ALSO in on the joke - i ALSO think it's funny#for some people i personally find that when they razz u it's when they love u -#they've noticed something genuine about u and love u enough that u know they're not being mean#this is cultural and personality based of course but i'm hispanic#if someone isn't making fun of me it means they hate me . obviously.
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OK THIS IS NOT A FUCKING DRILL EVERYONE FUCKING REPEAT AFTER ME. THIS IS WHAT YOU WILL DO WHEN YOU WATCH MUPPET CHRISTMAS CAROL THIS YEAR:
You will navigate to the page on disney plus (and it has to be here. Unless someone has actually uploaded the REAL movie anywhere else you cannot get it elsewhere)
BUT YOU WILL NOT HIT PLAY. You won’t do it. Because it’s NOT THE REAL VERSION OF THE FILM AND DISNEY IS FUCKING LYING TO YOU AS IT ALWAYS DOES
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/f8b017506fad7b4ca1b22b8358410426/849eaa7db08b97d8-21/s1280x1920/a840899652f3debc80d004552371f920cec74d34.jpg)
You will scroll down HERE. To EXTRAS instead. You MUST GO HERE. This is non -negotiable
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/e9ef6fa3263a89f483afe3c47e5bb233/849eaa7db08b97d8-5a/s640x960/72e76903e2e63f4a6cd860308b20f88c52d9ba58.jpg)
THEN YOU WILL SCROLL DOWN TO THE BOTTOM OF THE EXTRAS AND YOU WILL THEN HIT PLAY ON THIS BAD BOY: THE FULL LENGTH VERSION
And you will watch it. And you will thank me for having been so blind and led astray by that stupid fucking mouse. You’re welcome.
#I’m so mad everyone I’m sorry I’m going to make sure EVERYONE sees the proper version of mcc this year or die trying#literally this song is so important to the narrative and the film is so fucking hollow without it#if you grew up with disney’s bullshit version and thought it was good WAIT UNTIL YOU SEE THIS SHIT#please. please watch the REAL version of this film. it means a lot to me ok#the muppet christmas carol#for the love of god please people
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"just as I did, in 1983."
you'd never know my favourite parts of the show are the fucked up insane bits when my first instinct is to draw the cheesiest thing imaginable
#my art#interview with the vampire#iwtv amc#iwtv#armand iwtv#daniel molloy#armand#armandaniel#devils minion#drew this before the finale but idk maybe this is during the unspecified amount of time between armands divorce and daniels press tour#the titian painting doesnt fit at ALL with the timeline btw#i THOUGHT it did bc i assumed 1508 was when armand was turned into a vampire BUT upon reflection thats more likely the year he was born#and even then the painting was made in like 1510 so fuck me i guess. also im foggy on when armand was taken to rome#idk man i havent read the books and i failed art history on two separate occasions i cannot endeavor for accuracy#anyway as much as i love 70s/80s devils minion i have equal love for old man daniel#his cynicism has been tempered by time... refined like a diamond... he dont gaf and bullies his loser vampire and its hilarious#like ''sure yeah fine all these old italian renaissance guys saw ur ethereal otherworldly beauty but literally anybody can see that''#''IM the only mf who gets to experience the incandescent joy of seeing you be a messy idiot''#sidenote trying to make armand look unflattering is impossible u can blame the show for casting the worlds most beautiful man
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riz and adaine's little internal nerd club within the bad kids is soooo important to me. riz compiles dossiers of information for his failing party members that are like an inch thick, stuffed full of papers and forms and pamphlets about all the ways they can improve their academic standing, and then just so adaine feels included he makes a folder for her that's empty and simply says "hey adaine!" inside. literally who is doing it like them
#im fucking OBSESSED with the nerdy bad kids#THEY are the photosynthe-kids.#fantasy high#fantasy high junior year#fhjy#gang im on episode 3 do not spoil this shit for me#riz gukgak#adaine abernant#stuff#d20#dimension 20#should i spoiler tag this? how old is fhjy?#fhjy spoilers#sure#this is hardly a spoiler#but i would want it to be spoiler tagged so that's my metric
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It's weird how geological time works. Eras start and end bit by bit over the course of hundreds of thousands of years. That sounds like a big uncertainty but that sort of timescale, on which the climate can overhaul itself completely and entire species rise and fall, is instantaneous compared to the age of the earth. Any hypothetical sentient creature would have no idea it was living through a major turning point. The Silurian slid into the Devonian as land plants became A Thing and insects started to wonder if 'pilot' might be a good career path, but there was no one moment when one thing ended and another began. That's not how that works...
... except for the Cretaceous. The Cretaceous had a Last Day and it was probably in April, and then the next day it was the Paleogene.
#thinking about this fucks me up#the cretaceous didn’t have a first day#but it sure as SHIT had a last one
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need to share an experience i had 30 minutes ago
(edit: thanks to @walks-the-ages for providing and reminding me to put alt text, sorry it slips my mind alot lol)
#my hands are still shaking to be quite honest i could not put a lot of effort into this.#but like. brain. why did you do that#literally i have been like hopelessly obsessed with de nonstop thinking abt it for the past couple of days it is Scaring me#it is terminal its soooo fucking chronic#disco elysium#kim kitsuragi#for anyone who wants to know i bumped into some guys car that was stopped for a school bus. i think my brain errored and thought#my foot was fully pressing down on the brake pedal but it wasnt.#i am like 99.99 percent sure neither of us had any major damage to our cars but we still filed a police report just in case#because insurance do be a bitch. dudes back bumper was scratched lightly and my front license plate has a dent now#also literally my first ever car accident that ive had ever yippee yay
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![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/20eda8c1abe931cb3cc03d1a5e6213cf/5586220cd96e210d-3f/s540x810/9444cd7177163ef0934549e5e2da040c9576d62b.jpg)
“I've done something wrong again. It's not moving.”
There was a lot of stuff spread out in front of him. Old spare parts, pieces of armor, tools. Lots of warped plates.
And his creation. A real golem. An entity woven of metal and magic.
Shockwave walked around the table and stopped right above the head of the figure lying on it
“Golems exist to serve, my friend. It won't move unless you ask it to.”
Orion clutched his servos. The figure remained stone still. There was no ventilation noise, no engine sound, not even the barely audible spinning of a spark. It could just as easily have been a long-cooled dead body lying in front of him.
“Wake up.”
___________________ Part 2->
Magical Golem Prowl anyone? ‘,:) This story exists in the same universe as Spellbound au. and Monster hunter au and ties them together so I highly recommend you read all of them.
The fic under the cut⤵️
He seemed to be nothing.
The emptiness that infinitely defined his nonexistent self bounced off the metal plates and glinted in the droplets of still-warm energon. He was nothing, but there was so much around him that the space was like an infinite buzz of cluttered noise. The voices above him sounded excited. The metal slab beneath him was cold and hard.
“Good. Now you need to put a piece of your armor on this. Somewhere it will be in plain sight and easily reachable.”
“Oh...wouldn't it make more sense to hide it under the armor? I mean, it's an obvious weak point.”
He idly thought, his hands felt numb.
“No no, that's the whole point. You're using an artifact you haven't fully studied and you don't know exactly how it's going to turn out. If it goes crazy and becomes dangerous, you should have an easy way to destroy it. Where's the artifact by the way?”
The tinkling of metal.
The sound of a crystal clattering against armor.
Warm hands on his head.
“Here.”
“Excellent. Now. This will be the base on which the entire spell will be held, so you want to hide this artifact very well and secure it carefully so it doesn't break by mistake.”
Did he have hands too? He was nothing, why did he have hands? It didn't make sense.
Orion took a couple steps away from the table and stood pensively.
“I've done something wrong again. It's not moving.”
There was a lot of stuff spread out in front of him. Old spare parts, pieces of armor, tools. Lots of warped plates.
And his creation. A real golem. An entity woven of metal and magic.
Shockwave, hitherto distracted by an almost invisible spot on his shoulderplate, glanced leisurely over Orion's shoulder
“Golems don't need much to function. You made a good shell. The magical structure is strong as well, I see.”
Orion hesitantly pointed to the golem's forehead, decorated with a neat sharp chevron.
“I added some things that weren't in your instructions and I think I made a mistake somewhere.”
“Golem making is a complex skill, don't give up if it doesn't work right awa...you know what, actually no, you did everything right.”
Orion shrugged in frustration.
“Then why won't it move?”
Shockwave walked around the table and stopped right above the head of the figure lying on it
“ Golems exist to serve, my friend. It won't move unless you ask it to.”
Orion walked back over to the table with a quiet “oh” and nervously clutched his servos. The figure remained stone still. There was no ventilation noise, no engine sound, not even the barely audible spinning of a spark. It could just as easily have been a long-cooled dead body lying in front of him.
“Wake up.”
The emptiness that forever defined his nonexistent self stammered. He wasn't nothing. He had a purpose and that purpose shaped him, put strength into his numb limbs and molded his lack of thought into naked intent.
He wasn't nothing. He was a void, but suddenly that void had a direction, no matter how meaningless it sounded.
He stopped being just nothing. He became his purpose. And it felt so right that it was unclear how he could ever have been anything else before.
He opened his optics.
Orion, who apparently hadn't expected that the thing he'd made specifically for it to move would move, jerked back with a funny sound.
On the opposite side, Shockwave nodded proudly, returning to the spot on his armor that even in the bright lights of the workshop only he could see.
“I believed in you.”
_________
“Oh my god! How do you sneak up on me so quietly every time?”
He wasn't nothing anymore. He was a whole long list of instructions and rules. His creator sat him down at a table and meticulously listed everything he could and could not do. Handed him many books and ordered him to attend a huge number of lectures. He now knew who to bow to if he passed them in the hallway and who to avoid. He had learned hundreds of names and thousands of titles. Learned how to pretend to be a real Mech, even though he wasn't.
The world around him was complex and confusing, but he found that this complexity had its own patterns, linked together in a bizarre web of systems and sequences. It was worth pulling on the right end, and the meaningless facts organized themselves into something much more manageable.
Everything made sense. The planet revolved around a star. Mechs rejoiced when they got something that improved their quality of life. Energon burned, producing energy. Big things tended to be heavier than small things.
The world was divided into Mechs and monsters...and him.
He was inclined to be...quiet.
His creator - he'd asked to be called Orion - twitched when he found his creation standing right behind him.
He was very talented at finding Orion wherever he was. And very light compared to most things his size. Like everything else it made sense. He wasn't a Mech, he was just an empty shell. An armor summoned to life by magic. His footsteps were as quiet as a mini bot's. Whatever Orion called it, he wasn't 'sneaking' on purpose.
A few cycles later, Orion accidentally bent one of its finals when he turned around too quickly, startled by the quiet footsteps behind him.
He named him Prowl. It was...not exactly logical, but there was a certain sense to it. Prowl nodded and agreed. He always agreed with everything Orion said, even if it didn't make sense at all. Orion's opinion took a higher priority than anything else.
Until it didn't.
Until Orion gave him a focused look and told him that he should argue if he thought it was necessary.
Until Orion put the servo on his shoulder and said something along the lines of....
“You can disagree with me if you think my opinion is wrong. I'm not asking you to go against me. I'm not perfect and I can't be the one absolute point of reference for everything. You can and I'm sure will be smarter than me about many things. I want you to tell me if I'm wrong and what I should do about it.”
Like…well….like an absolute fool.
This concept was new. Prowl wasn't built to argue. He was made to obey orders and to serve a function.
Orion smiled slyly. At least it was probably a smile behind his mask that made the corners of his optics lift.
“It wouldn't be considered a disobedience of my order if I ordered you to disobey it. Don't you think?”
Prowl opened his mouth to agree out of habit, but then changed his mind mid-motion and closed it back. It...it didn't make sense. It made sense that was breaking under its own weight. It was mercilessly mixing up all of his pre-learned patterns for talking to Orion. If he agreed with that logic now, it would mean accepting its use. If he protested, it would also mean accepting it, but in a bit more embarrassing way. Just when he was thinking of simply retreating silently to the nearest shadow and banging his head against the wall, he heard a quiet chuckle and realized that Orion had been amusing himself for some time now, watching him struggle.
Prowl decided that verbal responses might be overrated and frowned his face in the most believable expression of displeasure he could portray.
Orion broke out into laughter.
________
“What exactly is my goal?”
Orion looks. Curious. He stops talking to Shockwave and leans back on the bench.
“Right now, to study these journals. I already told you.”
Prowl nods to indicate he heard him and continues
“Studying serves a future purpose. Studying for the sake of studying would be meaningless to me. What is my final goal?”
“To assist me” Orion says slightly confused. ”Within the best of your ability of course.“”
“Аh. Assist in the fulfillment of your goal.”
“Well. I'd say so, yes.”
Prowl nods
“And what is your goal?”
Shockwave, who has been sitting next to them the whole time looks like they're a couple of previously unknown to science species he's just personally discovered.
Prowl ignores him.
“I...you remember the separation between Mechs and monsters, right?” asks Orion cautiously.
“Yes.”
“Mechs...are unfair to monsters. Monsters are cruel to Mechs. It's a needlessly violent situation that I want to...try to. Fix.”
Prowl frowns to indicate that the information isn't completely clear.
“You're a member of the order of hunters. And...” he shakes his head toward the nearest window ”...you have a considerable number of hunters under your command. Your job involves destroying monsters.”
Shockwave makes some sort of quiet amused sound and props his chin up with his hand.
Prowl ignores him harder.
“My job is to bring peace.” says Orion “You don't have to kill monsters to do that. You can negotiate with them. Find a compromise. Coexist. I...I guess basically, I'm trying to make the world a little better?”
Prowl doesn't look impressed. He's actually making a special effort to not let Orion think in any way that he might be intrigued by the whole endeavor.
“You do realize that's a disproportionately large goal for just one Mech, right?”
Orion shrugs awkwardly
“That's why I made you.”
__________
Ratchet puts aside his tools and critically examines his work.
“Don't touch that and it will heal normally.”
Orion smiles gratefully
“Thank you.”
Ratchet is important to Orion. They are close and very valuable friends to each other. The two of them look peaceful now, despite the fact that Ratchet threatened Orion when he first showed up in Sick Bay, so Prowl decides it would be a socially acceptable moment to start talking
“Orion, you're wanted at the Council.”
The second half of his line is drowned helplessly in two startled exclamations at once. Orion, to his honor, calms down almost immediately, but Ratchet continues cursing for a while.
Prowl doesn't wait for him to finish. The Council meeting is earlier than usual today and Orion has already had a few occasions of misbehavior. It's in his best interest to at least show up on time this time.
“Shockwave asked me to tell you to hurry. I will add that showing up at the last minute will not be good for your reputation if you are still hoping to convince the council to let you take more units.”
Ratchet .....stares.
“Primus' rusty hinges, Orion, who's that? Did they assign a nanny to you?”
Orion twitches his finals playfully and immediately crinkles in pain, remembering that one of them should have been left to heal.
“Remember when I wanted to find an assistant? Well...”
Ratchet casts an increasingly more suspicious look at Prowl. Prowl decides that friendliness is overrated and limits his expression to a barely perceptible tilt of his head in response.
“...Shockwave recently helped me figure out how to create golems and I figured if I couldn't find anyone I could trust, I might as well...make one. So. Ratchet meet Prowl.” finishes Orion awkwardly.
Ratchet glares at Prowl for a while longer. Then he turns away and starts tidying up Sick Bay.
“I'm not buying it. I don't know where you found this guy, but you're not playing me. Nice poker face by the way.”
One of Prowl's wings twitches
“He wasn't lying.”
Ratchet snorts grumpily.
“Those...” he waves toward the next room ”...are golems.
There, behind the wall, several golems scurry around. They have medical staff symbols painted on their shoulders, and there is not a trace of thought in their eyes. Two are scrubbing the floors, another wiping the shelves and window sills clean of dust. They occasionally mumble softly under their noses or utter an inane “excuse me” every time they accidentally bump into each other. Prowl knows that if you ask any of them a question with more than one variable, they start babbling guiltily and shrugging their shoulders. They're stupid, but they themselves don't seem to care about that at all. They are their purpose. And their purpose is to keep things clean. They are pride because they are good at their job.
Prowl frowns. He's a headache. Because his "purpose" has been distracted by his conversation with Ratchet and will probably add another tardy to his list in the near future.
Orion begins (thank goodness) to move toward the door
“I've made improvements. There might have been...some not exactly allowed artifacts.”
Ratchet rubs the bridge of his nose tiredly. Prowl can see that his face is already starting to wrinkle in that spot. Patient antics probably age Ratchet far more effectively than the passage of time itself.
“I...you know what...go before the Council sends a search party to look for you.”
Orion sighs and without further distraction finally walks out the door.
Prowl decides that Ratchet might be a good ally when it comes to managing Orion.
He nods politely goodbye before leaving.
______________
“I am different from them. Why?”
Orion puts down the document he's been working on and looks first at Prowl and then, over his head, at the other golems scurrying down the hallway with brooms and rags. He doesn't need to interject exactly who he thinks Prowl is different from.
“Do you want a philosophical answer or a technical one?”
Prowl reaches out and pokes somewhere in Orion's document
“ You missed a comma. Both.”
Orion obediently puts the comma in and folds up the document. His finals are twitching faintly. It could be a sign of concentration as well as distraction. Prowl has already figured out that Orion's body language is a double-bottom trap. For a Mech with this level of expressiveness, Orion is surprisingly difficult to read.
“Sometime quite a while ago during one of my expeditions, I found a unique artifact. A fascinating item, granting wisdom to anyone brave enough to use it.”
“I have a feeling a ‘but’ is coming.”
“You're right. The artifact's unique gift was also its curse. It fed so much information through the Mech's heads that it literally caused the processors of its owners to melt.”
“Oh. Good thing I don't have a processor then.”
Orion laughs quietly
“Indeed. You won't have that problem. And about the other part....Think of all the Mechs you know who are savvy enough about politics and available to work together at the moment.”
Orion gives him a moment before continuing.
“ What is the likelihood that the most trustworthy of them would betray me, for their own gain or out of fear?”
“ Twenty-eight percent,” Prowl informs.
And then hesitates a moment.
Orion is obviously a smart Mech. Not smart enough to single-handedly dominate the political arena, definitely not with his ideals and ideas of what's right. But smart enough to realize it. He knows what he wants and he also knows he can't achieve it alone.
Prowl looks at Orion, who just stands there, eyeing him, without in any way trying to continue the conversation.
Orion is idealistic, and therefore often mistaken for stupid. He isn't. Orion doesn't just know that he can't succeed alone, he knows that everyone else knows it too. He thinks this knowledge will be used against him when the opportunity arises. He's right. By Prowl's count, at least three suspiciously clever Mechs were going to sweet-talk their way into becoming Orion's assistant one way or another before... he appeared.
One of the janitor golems runs past them down the corridor. He doesn't turn around, doesn't even slow down or cast a curious glance. His only goal, his only interest is cleaning. The rest of the world might as well not exist at all.
Prowl thinks he's not that different.
Orion apparently reads the understanding from his face, because he nods contentedly and starts walking further down the hall.
“You didn't take yourself into account when you made the statistics, did you?”
Prowl follows him silently on his heels. Not close enough to be familiar, but not so far away that the conversation stops being private.
“The sampling condition was all mechs. I am not one.”
“That's true” Orion shrugs “You have no loved ones that the Council could use to influence you. You have no desires to be bought by their fulfillment. And while I cannot say with absolute certainty that you will never be capable of going against me...” Prowl starts to open his mouth to object but Orion gestures him to stop, “...no no no no, let me finish. And while I can't be sure you'll never betray me, I at least know for sure that before you met me you had no reason to do so. Do you understand?”
Prowl understands. It makes sense. He still feels the need to argue back, because it is part of his function to do that.
“I would never betray you. I'm not capable of it.”
Orion twitches his finals. Without seeing his face Prowl assumes it is a sign of doubt.
“You are a creature of intellect, Prowl. I am a Mech of ideals. Those two things don't always combine well.”
______
“Foolish and presumptuous.”
Prowl ponders that his function could be much easier if he didn't have to constantly try to balance what is right and what is right in Orion's eyes.
“If you were spotted, the Council would have good reason to assume this isn't the first time you've done something like this.”
“No one noticed,” Orion tries, but Prowl doesn't let him finish that thought
“No one has seen you, because you're lucky. You can't count on it being a permanent occurrence! You undermine your own position by giving the Council grounds for suspicion, you...”
Prowl stops, still pointing his finger accusingly somewhere on Orion's chin. Shockwave, who has witnessed the scene, makes an impressed face and steps closer.
“I swear, you're probably the most capable golem maker I've ever had the pleasure of teaching, Orion. If I hadn't seen that guy on your assembly table, I would never know.”
Prowl takes the statement as a compliment, but doesn't feel the need to show it outwardly. Shockwave, as one of the few who knows about him not being a real Mech, doesn't take offense to it in any way.
“Did I interrupt something dramatic?”
Prowl snorts, because the gesture maintains just the right amount of judgment for his situation.
“Orion is once again harboring a monster instead of killing it or letting it escape.”
This news immediately enlivens Shockwave's posture. Prowl knows he's an even bigger fan of collecting suspicious side projects than Orion. Their friendship, frankly, will one day bury either one or both of them. Prowl just hopes his presence will be enough to sway the percentages when that happens.
Orion doesn't try to deny anything.
“One of my squads encountered a ghost near the northern border. I couldn't... listen Shockwave, he's a good guy. He just needs to be given a chance to show it.”
“Can he talk?” there's almost visible stars in Shockwave's eyes..
Prowl slumps his shoulders helplessly, already knowing what's coming next. These two have done this dance a hundred times before. One of Shockwave's favorite side projects was a school for, as they called them, magically gifted and extraordinary Mechs. In fact, it was the largest den of various monsters that Prowl had ever seen. Every time Orion's hunting squads found a monster that could even remotely resemble a normal Mech, Orion would rush with happy optics to hand it over to Shockwave for care. There, the monsters were taught everything they needed to fit into the society of normal Mechs, but more importantly, they were given documents. Precious pieces of paper that granted their holders rights, freedoms, and protections as Shockwave's apprentices.
Prowl could appreciate the noble endeavor. He could also see clearly that with each addition, this school would become more and more of an inconvenient thorn in the Council's side. Just like Orion, Shockwave was happy to paint a brighter and brighter target on his own back for many cycles.
Orion, insensitive to danger that is not immediate, cheerfully begins to recite
“Can read, write, speak, even makes music.”
Shockwave nods happily
“Introduce us?”
Prowl wonders how far Shockwave can stretch the definition of “magically gifted Mech”. One day Orion will pick up a Kraken on the street and then they'll both probably have to do a lot of mental gymnastics to make it's documents. Ugh.
When Orion had asked him to calculate the probability of betrayal, the most reliable mech he was evaluating at the time was Shockwave.
Twenty-eight percent...
Prowl wonders how many students must be on the opposite side of the scale from Orion for Shockwave to choose in their favor. Speculation is actually useless. If the Council decides to nail Shockwave, they will of course use his entire school at once.
In fact, they probably won't even have to force Shockwave to choose between the school and Orion, because Orion himself will choose a bunch of monsters over himself.
This ridiculously dangerous social construct they call friendship rests entirely on their reputation as honest and honorable mechs. Prowl stares at Shockwave's back and wonders how one mech could have so much charisma, that he gets away with keeping a huge number of Council enemies right under the noses of that same Council.
_________________
Orion gently lifts the now graying shell of what was once a monster from the ground
He doesn't even turn toward Prowl.
"Did you kill him?"
Killing...it's a stretch. Does the act of helping a murderer qualify as murder? Or the lack of action that could have saved the now murdered person? In most cultures and languages, “murder” refers to the act of ending someone else's life, but the context implies a physical act. Did you put a knife in his back? Did you push him off a cliff? Did you cut him with a sword?
By those criteria. Well. Prowl never killed anyone. Nor is he likely to, for he has neither the skill nor the strength to do so.
Did he cause death? Absolutely.
Orion's always had this heroic streak that wouldn't let him just pass by the distressed and disadvantaged. Orion has always had a great spark of kindness and principles as strong as titanium alloy as to what is right and what is wrong.
In Orion's world view, murder is wrong. And murder in conditions where it was possible to solve everything by peace is immoral and unacceptable.
Prowl's worldview tells him that Orion could do much better if he stopped wasting his potential on helping those who will only drag him down in the long run. Orion's life depends entirely on the Council's opinion of him. A Council that has been watching him closely lately. Even if Orion doesn't like it, it's Prowl's job to make sure they like what they see.
Orion turns to him, shaking him out of his thoughts.
"Prowl. That mech tried to escape. Past you. And now he's dead. Were you the one who killed him?"
"No," says Prowl, "he ran into one of the patrols."
That statement is missing a good half of the details. Like mentioning that the patrol wouldn't have been there in the first place if Prowl hadn't sent them an anonymous lead.
Orion doesn't need to know that. Orion lives under the idea that every life is precious and, even more inconveniently, equal.
Prowl sometimes feels like yelling at him for it. Because that shiny perfect picture is simply unsustainable outside of Orion's head. The monster, whose graying body now lies on the ground, would be of little use to society. Likely left free, he would have simply continued to attack and kill travelers.
Whereas Orion spends his life making the world a better place. This is an objective fact confirmed by numerous observations.
They are not equals. And they probably never will be. Orion's life is much. Much heavier on the imaginary scales of statistics.
Orion squints at him suspiciously. He's clearly hesitant.
"You could have just let him go instead of killing him."
The trap is honestly too obvious.
"I didn't kill him" Prowl repeats "he ran into a patrol. You can't blame the hunters for doing their job."
Orion places a hand on the dead creature's forehead in a respectful gesture of regret while simultaneously averting his gaze. It's a habit by now.
Look the other way, don't let the council know what you're doing. Sympathize but not in plain sight, help but in secret.
"They had no right to attack him.This is neutral territory. He has the right to run wherever he wants."
Prowl's mouth is twisting with the urge to argue. To say that according to existing information, this monster would have just continued the attacks if he'd stayed free.
He says nothing. Orion is clearly in no mood to argue right now, and he's already questioning Prowl's claim. It's not worth pushing any further.
Prowl only nods, showing that he's heard Orion's point of view.
__________________
He is surprisingly good at lying.
Of course the skill doesn't just come naturally, but he's been known for his straightforwardness. Mechs automatically expect him to either remain silent or tell the unpleasant truth.
All he has to do is give only certain bits and pieces instead of coherent information without changing his usual behavior in any way and the mechs won't be inclined to verify it, filling in the gaps themselves. As a golem, he can't lie, but he can get others to lie to themselves.
He exploits this a lot. Probably more often than Orion would approve, but Prowl doesn't ask him to confirm. Conversations with Orion tend to narrow down his list of options. Because Orion is a real living mech. With a spark. With feelings. And his complex moral code revolves entirely around what he feels to be right.
Prowl has no spark. Prowl has an empty armor that he considers his body and a wisdom artifact that he considers his worth. Both his and Orion's understandings of what is right...overlap...sometimes.
Not always.
______________
"I saw a demon in person for the first time today."
Prowl politely shifts his posture to show he's listening
"A …demon?"
"Demon" Orion repeats "When...when a mech commits especially terrible crimes against the will of Primus, the very magic of their spark rises up against them and turns them into a demon. And I just learned today what a...demon looks like."
Prowl remains silent, waiting for a continuation that never comes. Orion seems gone in his thoughts....
"And what does it look like?" prompts Prowl.
"Creepy. It looks creepy and unnatural and terrifying. Primus' wrath has a very ugly shape..."
"Ah...I see...what did that mech do to be met with such punishment?"
Orion frowns
"I'm not sure. But what we're doing can't go against Primus' will, right? I mean, all beings are his creations! He can't condemn us for trying to make peace between mechs and monsters..."
Prowl is familiar with the concept of punishment for wrongdoing. But something about the very idea...the idea that punishment will find you no matter how well you hide because you can’t run away from your own spark...he has to admit it's disturbing.
"I hope he doesn't."
——————————
Thoughts?👁
Ahsjfjfj
This is the first half of the fic btw because I don’t have enough time to translate the whole thing in one day. I’ll try to post the second half tomorrow🤞
#maccadam#transformers#sigh#wanna find out what kind of genius tag I came up with for this story?#behold#tf mimics au#feel free to pat me on the shoulder or decapitate me or something#I spent the whole day googling fancy English words#and decided that I’m tired and just wannna be practical#Orion pax#Prowl#Shockwave#senator shockwave#Ratchet#this story will contain a lot of JazzProwl but I need to show what the fuck is going on inside Prowl’s head first#Prowl being a cruel fucker. <- definitely not preparing to drag him through the excessive amount of life changing angst#to make him grow as a person#no no what are you talking about#I’m sure his worldview would never turn over and bite him back lol
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![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/7446593074f877d96de14dfdc0b84261/72f1b0d9909e053b-b3/s540x810/2ffcd5932d41a4c2597ab42246dbd1bff38c76ca.jpg)
Act I ~ The Prince
A tapestry for Let No One Sleep by @azalawa-scroggs on ao3
#narumitsu#wrightworth#phoenix wright#miles edgeworth#nmbb24#happy nrmt big bang!!! there are two more of these…..#but you’ll have to wait for them#fan art#aa#ace attorney#dick gumshoe#maya fey#manfred von karma#…bro is creeping…#wHEEWWWW ok took me a bazillion years to catch up with my day but HERE ARE MY THOUGHTS ON THIS ONE:#the border is intended to be read in counter clockwise direction#so: top -> left -> bottom -> right#and YES the sun and the moon are intentionally associated with the attorney's and prosecutor's badges respectively#phoenix and miles are our sun and moon throughout this story so be sure to look for that in the fic too!!#this style was very experimental for me but i wanted it to mimic the feeling of a tapestry hence me referring to it that way#i WISH this was fabric that would be sick as fuck#i will eventually share a proper breakdown of the thoughts and intentions behind everything but for now...#im gonna miss Phoenix’s cloak bc im obsessed with the design actually. wish that thing was real too#miles is my cunty little bitchboy in this wearing his thousand pound fur coat and the suitor stompy boots#if you thought that was a rug and went Oh. ...that was on purpose :^)))))#rendevok#id in alt text
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when you're part of a group with structural power over another goup, you really do gotta just learn to say "i am not exempt from 'fuck 'em' when relevant" whenever someone expresses frustration with you or people like you.
#juney.txt#like sure to protect your ego you could try to make up some axis of oppression that concievably means you're not accountable for anything#and how dare people from colonized nations tell you that you have it easier than them just because you live in the imperial core#or how dare trans women say you have it easier than them because no matter what it'll always be your word against a tranny's#or you could just learn to be a little uncomfortable for a moment#and look at the situation for a second and say#''you know what? they're right to be frustrated!''#''and it's really not that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things if they're frustrated at me''#''especially if i'm being a prime example of the things they're getting frustrated about''#''i am not exempt from 'fuck 'em' when relevant''
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arent you gonna wake up sometime soon ?
#just finished marineford so im sure you can guess how im doing#one piece#portgas d ace#monkey d luffy#sabo#asl brothers#op#my art#i dont think a fictional character death has ever fucked me up this bad#my friends are being bummed out by proxy and they dont even watch one piece#told them that ace died at our age and everyone thumbs downed me#they did not like that#side note this might be my favourite thing ive ever drawn#grief does crazy things to you
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you know, you know. no gods, no masters, no kings on pedestals. everyone is fallible. death of the author. you know! you are balanced about your intake of media - you allow the wiggle room, the grace, the gratitude, the skepticism. nobody above criticism.
but still. a weird gut-punch feeling, something akin to betrayal. you read the article. surprise! an author you love is actually: a serial fucking predator.
well, shit. what now. no, you knew he was a person (all people are), but now you're wondering - what have i overlooked by accident? what messages have i internalized that are strange and cruel? and also, like, what the fuck?
his actions lay a thick glaze on top of everything. like each place is now ruined, opaque in a new way. but okay, fine, you've done this before. you knew better, right? you've been betrayed by many a cherished childhood author.
still, this stickiness. fuck. can you pick up that book again. will you read it to your children. you've recommended it to others - will you ever do that again? and of course, of course, no parasocial relationships. you were theoretically above this kind of sentiment. but the artist informs the art, right.
so it's not something as clear-cut as feeling he owed you, specifically (a stranger) better behavior - just that you kind of, in a distant and odd way... sort of trusted him to do better. it's not like a real trust or something speakable, just the faint hope that the product (good books) was a thin representation of the soul. now it feels like the product (good? books?) was a mask. in some small or insignificant way, your previous support of this person lent them power. your money and your time and your laughter.
and the thing is - you have this terrible, echoing sensation. how many times will this happen? over and over. you find out that the singer you love is actually a predator. you learn over drinks that your favorite high school english teacher is in jail for what he did to her. you listen to the news idly and suddenly discover that a woman you used to idolize has been abusing her kids for an actual eon.
what can you touch without the static melting off. you can't even really complain about it too much (you were supposed to know better, and besides, you don't want the same re-split "it's not your fault, love what you love" basic advice), but now it's here. somehow, it feels like - you let him into your life.
it's not that things need to be pure or an artist has to be like, endlessly perfect, mindful. demure. it's more just this terrible truth that has been replayed through your veins so often it feels criminally vain. power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely. did you want any one person to be worth that power?
it's just that he wrote books where he seemed to understand that. he seemed to know about hierarchies and unfair systems and bigotry and privilege. you thought they were books about what it means to struggle. you thought they were about having power and still using it for good rather than for control. he spooned you a narrative of being a good guy, a kind soul. you fucking bought what that fucking monster sold.
maybe that's why they were fantasies, after all.
#spilled ink#warm up#oh im .... sick to my stomach.#i talked to him. like ....... we talked. that man interacted with my poetry and writing.#that article.... gutwrenching. i am so sorry to everyone he's ever even been in the room with.#i feel.... like... unbearably. sick.#he acted like he was cool and friends with me!! we were cool internet writers together!!!!!#i feel sick for even having been polite to him.#i ...... am experiencing something so fucking complicated.#i wonder how many of u are feeling that too. like ''oh i sent him an ask and he was funny and sweet''#THATS HOW THEY GET U. ..... and YES I KNOW!!!#i am so fucking well-read about parasocial relationships. it would just be nice to like. trust that someone ISNT#hiding a huge fucking background of BEING A COMPLETE MONSTER. LIKE WHAT THE FUCK.#by the way i am not part of a fandom. this is “what the fuck i accidentally supported a rapist” not#“but my showww”. like i care far more about like. the human cost.#but also like... people are people. idk i saw a take on here about how nobody should mourn the books#and idk. people almost always reply to any scenario with their personal experience first -#''i knew him'' or ''wow i was just at that store'' or ''i grew up there'' or whatever. because that is how we establish connection &#emotional weight. that's just... a person thing. and there is a difference between 'oh this guy is a monster'' & the feeling of:#he's been a monster and i SUPPORTED THAT. i CELEBRATED him. i !!! a fucking victim myself!!!!!!!!! SUPPORTED . HIM.#i am sick. i feel so much pain for her and everyone he's ever hurt. saying ''the books are ruined'' is i think ... like how people say#they're shocked and disgusted by him. (obviously there's nuance here. im sure there's some creep doin it wrong. but u know. in general)#idk..... im an author. i understand my work is in your life in whatever small way. i understand that connection. it's real.
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Do You Love The Color Of The 413?
#HOMESTUCK#413#HOMESTUCK 413#john egbert#dave strider#rose lalonde#jade harley#vriska#kanaya#terezi#karkat#HAPPY 413 YAYYYYYY!!!!!!!!#THIS TOOK ME 4 DAYS PLEASE LOVE IT#AHHHHHHH IVE NEVER MADE ANYTHING THIS BIG BEFORE#IT'S NOT AS FINISHED AS ID LIKE- LIKE I USED A LOT OF JUST MULTIPLICITY LAYERS FOR SHADING BUT#I DONT HAVE MUCH TIME LMAO#ALSO IM PRETTY SURE TUMBLR WILL EAT THE QUALITY SO PLEASE CLICK TO ZOOM LOL#ART#MY ART#heavens. i dont know if i should tag all the characters?#ill only tag the bigger characters i guess#since so many are in there#it's supposed to be transparent and not black#but apparently tumblr will turn transparency white if the photo is too large#fucking great
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Lets give it to Annette first to secure the bag and hit all the romance check points with a white male hero. I don't think I've seen a black female character get all that, get the guy and still be alive by the end of the show lol
#I laugh to keep from crying#because there's for sure some fuckass who doesn't think that's riveting but it is too me so fuck you#castlevania nocturne#castlevania spoilers#richette#annette x richter
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