#side note this might be my favourite thing ive ever drawn

[theellipelli]

arent you gonna wake up sometime soon ?

[whats-rambled-rambled]

Long Nights - part 7

Neil x Reader

Chapter 7: Wicked game

(see chapter 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1)

summary: it’s time to come back to life, and sometimes it involves Neil dragging you to a social event

warnings: 18+, language, alcohol mention (beer is considered alcohol, right?)

author’s note: 3k words. It’s not exactly what I had in mind for that chapter, but they have a mind of their own, as always. 

Almost there.

The song for this part is Stone Sour - Wicked Game (acoustic, live)

Enjoy and let me know what you think, please? All feedback is greatly appreciated.

——————

Tag list: @cxnnienikas​ @neutron-stars-collision​ @ergunbilge​ @invertedneil​ @wanderedaway​ @i-wanna-b-yours​ @wonderwoman292​ @buckysgoldenheart​ @townmoondaltwistle @theriverbeneaththeriver​ (please let me know if you want to be added/removed from the list)

-----

It didn’t matter how many times you saw him do that, the effect the sight had on you was pretty much always the same. Filling your mind with thoughts that were quite counterproductive, one could say.

The veiny patterns covering hands and forearms. The long fingers running through the buttons. The tilted chin, extending the neck, drawing attention to that impossible jawline. The slight pout. The brows drawn together in concentration--

You smacked your tongue and shook your head

“Y’know what, those shirts of yours are so rude, but the way you wear them, the rolled-up sleeves?”

Neil looked at you through the reflection in the mirror, puzzled. “What about them?”

“Abso-fucking-lutely disrespectful,” you sighed heavily and leaned against the door frame.

Playful lights danced in the blue eyes. “Oh yeah?” he teased, giving himself a final glance-over before turning to you. “And what you’re gonna do about it?”

“Nothing,” - you shrugged, crossing your arms - “because you insist on dragging me to a social event.”

The faint resentment ringing in your last words didn’t get lost on Neil.

“So boring of me,” he said as he closed the gap between you, trying to keep a straight face. He put his hands on your waist and smirked. “But maybe after that we can come back here and continue the conversation.”

As you fixed his collar, a shade of smile hid in the corner of your mouth.

“Really wanna listen to me listing all the things that drive me mad about you, huh?” you asked smugly, gliding your fingertips along the delicate stripes of the greyish beige shirt.

Neil’s thumbs brushed over your hip bones as he hummed, “I have a feeling it might lead to a rather pleasant conclusion.”

When you let out an amused scoff, his lips captured the snarky comment that was bound to follow. He pulled you closer and lifted you up, and the next second you were sitting on the edge of a vanity cabinet, breathless from the kiss, tugging at the striped shirt.

A buzz right next to you.

You jumped, startled, and glared at the phone. “Is it too late to tell Matthias the Uber driver that we’re not going anywhere?” you asked without too much hope as you nuzzled your face to Neil’s neck, breathing in his scent, unwilling to let this moment end too quickly.

Neil chuckled and stroked your arms. “Come on, it’s gonna be fun.”

You still didn’t know where he was taking you - he’d assured you that it would be casual, and that was basically all you cared about. He knew you enough, and you trusted his judgement, after all.

“It better be,” you pouted, pulling back, but as soon as you met the bright blue eyes your heart sang in your chest. After spending all that time in the darkness, not sure if you’d ever see his face again, you caught yourself taking an extra second every now and then, just looking at him. How the light played on his features, now soft in the elaborately illuminated hotel bathroom. How his lips curled whenever he found your gaze. How utterly stunning he was.

Smiling gently, you ran your fingers through Neil’s disheveled mane, taming the blonde mess if ever so slightly.

“Let’s not keep Matthias waiting, then,” you sighed and slid off the cabinet.

-------

The afternoon was quite warm for late autumn. As you were arriving at your destination, you watched the sun shining through the scarce leaves left on the trees, adding vibrance to their colours. Too mesmerized to pay attention to the route, you recognized the place only when the car stopped. The training site. You turned to Neil in confusion, but he just wiggled his brows and proceeded to thank the driver and got out of the car. You followed him out and right through the gate of the now-empty paintball outdoor facility which served as a front for the agency’s base, hidden a bit further inside the forest.

“Picking up something on the way?” you asked, matching his pace as you strolled towards the training grounds.

Neil shook his head and smiled mysteriously. “Not really.”

“Alrighty then, keep your secrets,” you snorted, rolling your eyes. “Aren’t we a tad overdressed for a little playground fun, though?”

“A rematch?” he pondered and smirked. “Didn’t plan on that, but it’s tempting.”

Indeed. “I’m kinda out of shape, but keep those baggy trousers on and I’m game - wanna beat you fair and square again.”

Neil let out an exasperated huff. “Baggy?! They might be a bit loose but --”

You giggled at his offended expression as he got busy looking down at the target of your remark, ready to defend his fashion choice. Your laughter was enough to stop Neil in his tracks, and when he met your playful gaze, he reached out and drew you into his arms for a tight hug. After a brief moment of perplexity, you eased into his embrace, moved by the force of sudden affection.

When he pulled back, you touched his cheek. “What was that for?” you asked, searching the blue eyes, but finding nothing but joy there.

“Being cheeky.” He scrunched his nose while tapping the tip of yours. “And brilliant,” he added, and for a second you were sure there was something else he wanted to say; instead, he laid a gentle kiss on your lips. “And maybe stalling a minute longer before I’d have to share you with all these people.”

You gaped at him, about to ask what people, but Neil already grabbed your hand and led you around the corner of the building - and you heard them even before you spotted them.

“Oi, there they are!”

“Finally!”

“We’ve just considered sending a rescue party in case you got lost in the woods!”

The unexpected eruption of cheers and greetings made your fight-or-flight reflexes kick in, but as you instinctively took a step back, Neil squeezed your fingers reassuringly.  

A split-second exchange of looks.

All right?

When he saw your tiny nod, he let go of your hand, focusing on the team gathered at the makeshift chillout zone. “Not everyone has your poor sense of directions, Seb,” retorted Neil, flashing his teeth in a grin.

The young man’s protests got drowned in laughter as you approached the group together.

"Luckily not the case with our rogue here,” said Ives, elbowing his way in between other people. He shot you both a disapproving look, toned down by a smile dangling in the corner of his mouth. "Really, roofs? Didn't know you had it in you, mate."

"Me neither,” admitted Neil, going in for a clasp of hands and a brief hug. “When I saw that gap, I was sure that was it. Someone convinced me otherwise."

“The secret is to avoid looking down,” you shrugged, meeting the commander's amused gaze.

"Thanks for bringing our favourite nerd back in one piece." As Ives extended his hand, there was something serious about his expression, mixed with a sense of relief, and you realised he must have been in the response team Neil had called for help.

“My pleasure.” Beaming, you shook his hand. “Thanks for providing backup.” And scraping me off the pavement.

Neil’s gasp was almost theatrical. He smirked and nudged Ives lightly. “Aw, I’m your favourite?”

“Careful, that privilege may be revoked any minute,” grunted Ives in a weak attempt at keeping up appearances, but he couldn’t fool anyone. Now that you had a chance to observe them in the after-hours situation, the bond between the two men was clear as day, and your heart warmed up at the thought.

Waving back at Mahir, you scanned the group for other familiar faces. Wheeler, a couple of people you recognized from the HQ halls, and a bit isolated from the others - the big man himself, manning the barbecue station.

Overwhelmed by the attention you got from the team, you excused yourself and walked up to The Protagonist. You couldn’t help but smile at the confident vibe he radiated with as if he spent every weekend doing nothing but this.

“So dad of you, boss.”

He flopped a sizzling piece of meat to the other side, glancing at you humorlessly.

“How are you feeling?” he asked with polite concern.

“Grand, healed up nicely, thank you.” You circled your shoulder and grinned. “Not in a marathon condition, mind you, but that’s not exactly new.”

“That’s good, Neil was worried about you.”

Not sure if it was the lack of eye contact or something else in his presence, but you decided to stop ignoring the gut feeling.

“You don’t like me,” you said, tilting your head. A mere statement of the fact; you weren’t hurt, only curious. “It’s okay, you don’t have to, just been wondering why.”

TP sighed heavily. And when he finally met your gaze, the dark eyes were sad, only deepening your confusion.

“I’m sorry.” Then something cracked and a shiver ran down your spine, because suddenly, in front of you there was a man who’d seen a lot, suffered too much, and cared even more. The weight of it all slumped his shoulders, and for a short while, he seemed almost helpless. Taking a quick look at the hollering group, he sighed again. “It’s not your fault, it’s--“ he hesitated, searching for the right words. As he found them, there was no sign of the vulnerability from a moment earlier. “It’s a stressful business.” He sent you a crooked smile. “And I’m still mad about that watch.”

The lie was obvious. But the things you saw in his eyes made your chest clench painfully, and…did you really want to know?

Besides, that might have been a truce offering, and you weren’t bent on holding a grudge. Not with him, anyway.

“Hey, wasn’t it technically your idea?” you grinned, shrugging off the weird sense of dread.

A smile finally reached the dark irises. “I guess it was,” he admitted and patted you on the arm. “There’s some beer in the mini-fridge, could you --”

“On it.”

When the clank of bottles sealed your peace treaty, you caught Neil’s happy stare. You pointed at the beer in your hand in a question and he nodded, so you grabbed one more and joined him and the others.

That unfortunate mission must have been some sort of rite of passage in these guys’ eyes because out of the blue, you were no longer an outsider. The Cavalry accepted you with open arms as one of their own, and you couldn’t wrap your head around it. It was a nice feeling, though. Like you belonged. You saw some curious glances, but they came from a good place, and even the suspicious voice in your mind gave in under the cordial, jovial energy of the group.

Soon enough, you were joking with a young medic, having a balancing stand-off with Wheeler, or listening to crazy stories from some old operations, until everyone had enough booze in their systems that allowed them to direct some of the questions to you, as well.

“So is Neil a decent locksmith now?”

You puffed out your cheeks in a musing grimace, but when you spotted Neil’s raised brow, you started laughing. “I’d say even more than decent. Honestly? I don’t think there’s much more that I can teach him, he needs to polish his skills in real life now.” Mocking a teary sniff, you added, “They grow up so fast!”

Nobody would know that you did so while actively ignoring a faint sting in your heart.

You refrained from meeting the attentive blue eyes, though. Just in case.

“Oh cool, then what about a little contest?” Seb clapped his hands cheerfully. “You versus Neil, we could time you, and to make it fairer we could put a blindfold on you --” as he stopped for a breath, he realized - with some help from Wheeler’s elbow to his side - the slight faux pas.

But you barely acknowledge a curse and a mumbled apology cutting through the awkward silence, too busy exchanging amused looks and stifled giggles with your student.

“Neil, would you like to explain?” you asked, schooling your features.

He bowed his head as if he was accepting a great honor. “Gladly.” Neil took a deep breath and his eyes lit up. “See, my dear friend, had you known anything about lockpicking, you’d learnt that sometimes it’s easier to do that with, for example, your eyes closed. You need to listen to what the lock has to say because it’s all about feedback--”

You watched as Neil gave a full lecture, citing your own words from what seemed to be a lifetime ago. He did it with passion and understanding of the craft you’d never dreamed to see in someone else, and yet was so familiar when it came to him. Absentmindedly, you placed a hand over your chest, as if it was enough to stop it from bursting.

You couldn’t be more proud.

Neil finished his rant and looked at you, only to be met with all the appreciation and validation in your gaze, and he beamed even wider.

“All right, damn, we can cover Neil’s eyes then,” sighed Seb, a total resignation in his voice sparking a roar of laughter from the group.

----

As much as you enjoyed the energy of the team, your social batteries were getting drained, and you needed a moment for yourself before you could carry on.

Walking right outside of the periphery of light from the garlands, you let your gaze slide across the training equipment, now barely visible in the moonless night. The leaves crumbled under your feet as you smiled at the memories. Maybe one day you would actually complete the full run? You pulled on the sleeves of your sweater, hiding your hands from the cold evening air.

“Mind if I join you?”

You glanced over your shoulder at Neil, keeping his distance, ready to give you space. With him, it was always in the details he’d picked along the way, effortlessly weaving them into everyday life. “Not at all.”

Neil perked up and joined you in the shadows, inhaling deeply.

“Funny how the scent of the forest changes with the seasons,” he mused and you grinned, turning his way.

“That’s what I call a pick-up line,” you snickered and drew a long breath. “But you’re right, it’s too easy to forget that once you become a permanent city creature.”

He chuckled and lightly rubbed his hands up and down your arms.

“Are you warm enough?” he asked softly, fixing your oversized scarf.

“Yeah.” You brushed your cheek against his fingers, longing for his touch, now that you were somewhat hidden from the prying gazes. “You?”

Neil moved closer and wound one arm around your waist, then cupped your face gently, pressed his forehead to yours, and murmured, “Now I am.”

You hummed happily and slid your hands under his open jacket, resting them at his chest, and closed your eyes. Only then realizing how tense you were, you relaxed in his embrace, savoring his closeness. A steady heartbeat under your palms. The warmth carrying undertones of Neil’s cologne. A featherlike graze of his thumb over your cheek. His nose nudging yours.

But soon enough, you had to break a stolen moment. Trying to stifle a yawn, you hid your face in his shoulder to muffle the sound.

“Oh, my poor baby,” he cooed, biting back a giggle. “That tired?”

“I’m fine,” you mumbled against him on the verge of another yawn.

“Sure you are.” He kissed your temple. “The party’s almost over anyway, judging by decreasing amount of idiotic ideas per hour. Gonna call us a cab soon, all right?”

As you nodded, Neil tightened a hug and reluctantly let you go.

“Be right back, I’ll check if there’s any coffee left,” you said, gesturing towards the tables with beverages.

As your luck would have it, there was just enough for one sip.

A sudden sneer was enough to wake you up, though.

“Hell froze over.”

Mahir walked up to the mini-fridge to grab a beer and you met his mocking stare with furrowed brows.

“Vincent must be chattering his teeth now,” you joked, unsure where the conversation was heading. “Why?”

Mahir scoffed at the remark about your old associate, but he was still studying you closely, confusing you further. “Congratulations, by the way.”

“Dude, you’re killing me today,” you sighed, wiping a hand through your face. “Thanks, but what for?”

“You and Neil?”

And when you shot him a puzzled look, he waved his bottle at the place where you stood together a moment before.

Breaking out in a cold sweat, you deadpanned, “Oh.”

Bloody hell.

“I thought you weren’t doing the whole love thing anymore.”

The pulse pounded in your ears, although not loud enough to tune out the sirens blazing in your head.

No.

It came out harder than you felt it. “I’m not.”

No, no, no, no, no.  

Mahir grimaced doubtfully. “Uh-huh.” He looked over your shoulder at the team gathered together in the distance and raised a brow. “Does he know that?”

You couldn’t force yourself to follow his gaze. The panic drained your face of all colour, and that was enough of an answer for your friend.

“I see.” Mahir shook his head, losing the enquiring manner. His features softened as he patted your arm. “Neil’s a good guy.”

Please, no.

“They always are,” you choked out bitterly.

Not again.

“You know what I mean,” insisted Mahir, searching for your eyes.

That the history was not gonna repeat itself?

...or that he didn’t deserve any of it?

“Yeah. Maybe.” You faked a smile. “Excuse me.”

Pushing past him, you went inside the building. You needed to be alone.

Oh, the irony.

Weeks of deliberately avoiding the topic. Tricking yourself into thinking that you can keep it casual. That it didn’t matter that much. That it was nothing but a self-indulgent fling.

You couldn’t breathe.

Lesson learnt, huh?

Barging into one of the restrooms, you got to a sink. Clenching your hands on the cold ceramic, you fought nausea tearing through your body.

Pathetic.

The gasp for air turned into a sob.

...and then everything went quiet.

You raised your eyes to the mirror.

Your reflection was staring back at you with determination.

It was time.

(next chapter ->)

[prettyboy-parker]

favorite fics of 2020 (and a goodbye)

hi all!

first, i wanted to say this is inspired by one of my closest friends my bitch @honeybunstarker . thank u for that 

secondly, i wanted to say a final goodbye. i know that i nearly left a few months ago, but i was still on the fence about writing for marvel then. now, ive lost all interest. thank you all for fueling my love for writing, and making these past two (??? i actually don’t know) years full of excitement and encouragement! from the ups (the blocklist, secret santa) to the downs (my favorite blogs and friends deactivating without a word), ive had the greatest time in this fandom. 

in case you were worried, i am NOT deactivating. my fics will be available for you to read whenever you want.

but, i will not be writing for marvel anymore, nor will i be posting on this blog.

now that the sad part is done, i didn't want to leave you guys without anything to entertain yourselves with. so, here are my favorite fics, including some non-marvel, from this year! 

(all descriptions are from the work itself)

my top fic from this year, which is also one of my favorite fics of all time, is a dog named sunshine.

“Bucky Barnes has issues. Mental health issues, and a whole lot of them, to be precise. Bucky is fucked up, and he knows that. His apartment looks like a dumping ground on most days, he can’t sleep through the night, sometimes he doesn’t shower for six days and doesn’t leave the house except to see his therapist once a week. Mostly, Bucky has no idea how the whole “talking about your problems” thing is supposed to help him, but sometimes his therapist has some really great ideas. Like getting a dog. Which is how Bucky meets Steve. Steve has blond hair and shoulders as broad as Bucky’s future if he wouldn’t suffer from depression and multiple mental disorders, and a waist as small as Bucky’s self-esteem. Steve also has a yellowish dog with floppy ears called Sunshine. And sunshine makes its way into Bucky’s life with a bounce in its step.”

a modern stucky fic which portrays depression in the best way i have seen in a fic so far. unfortunately, it has been orphaned before being finished :(

starker:

hey baby, slip between my beta-pleats and get to know my alpha-helix? By @starkerforlife6969​ and @darker-soft-starker​

“Even though Tony can't tell the difference between Manolo Blahnik and Jimmy Choo, Peter really has no other choice.

His heat is around the corner, so even though he loathes the party-going, booze drinking, smug playboy know-it-all that is Tony Stark-

He'll just have to do.”

if you asked me what my favorite starker fic of all time is, i’d tell you it’s this one

raising hybrid puppies by jaypendragon

“A non-powered Tony/Peter coffee shop AU with billionaire Tony and working-class, teenage Peter. Also, Toomes has a bakery and somehow Last Week Tonight is a genuine plot point.”

underage, slowburn, happy ending 

even though it’s one of the most notorious fics for the ship, i never read it until the summer. 

waiting for marriage by tuesday 

“In which Tony gets married and kidnapped in that order.

—

Tony Stark went to Vegas to cause a scandal.”

just super fun!

push you out (pull you back in) by @lovelystarker​

“So basically, Peter's kind of fucked. And not in the way that he wants to be-preferably by his mother's hot new boyfriend who has beautiful brown eyes and a disposition that's more than put-together. It wouldn't be so hard to ignore the crush, really it wouldn't, but Mr. Stark has practically moved in, so Peter can't avoid him if he wants to, and unlike his mom's past boyfriends, this one actually likes to spend time with him. So yeah, Peter's kind of fucked.”

just,,, wow. important to note that it is unfinished.

stucky:

you go to my head by alby_mangroves and brideofquiet

“Why would you do that for a man you don’t know?” Bucky asks.

Steve raises one slow eyebrow at him, then the other, till his expression turns from skepticism to disbelief. His forefinger and thumb reach into his shirt’s front pocket and draw out a wrinkled dollar bill.

Steve looks him in the eye when he says, very patiently, “For money, Bucky.”

40′s stucky is my favorite stucky

that boy is a problem by 2best friends

“In which a twinky little goth punk named Bucky puts a leash around Steve's dick and he's really into it.

(The leash is a metaphor. For now.)”

just porn

all the angels and the saints by speranza 

“In which Steve Rogers loses God and finds God and loses God, and also: Bucky.”

if it makes you cry, it’s probably good!

sugar sweet by colorcoated 

“College Student Bucky finds himself immediately attracted to Steve. He knows that Steve's a bit older than him, and that Steve himself is put off by the age difference. . . But that doesn't stop Bucky from wanting to climb him like a tree.”

the only slowburn i have tolerated 

my bucky by cleo4u2 and xantissa 

“Bucky finds a feral Alpha in the woods. Rather, the Alpha finds him. Bucky is sure it’s the end of his life as an independant Omega. It turns out to be the beginning of the strangest romance Bucky’s ever known.”

stony:

(i want you to see) the darkest side of me by ann2who

“In Monte Carlo, Steve meets the wealthy widower Anthony Stark. It’s love at first sight—at least for Steve—and he can’t believe his luck when Tony asks him to live at Stark Mansion, his large estate in Malibu. Never in his life had Steve thought something like this was possible… never had he been this happy. However, soon Steve realizes that Tony is still deeply troubled by the death of his first wife and haunted by the many ghosts she left behind. The longer Steve lives in her shadow, the more he understands that… He can never be what Tony’s wife had once been for him. And Tony might never truly love him.”

total mindfuck.

ironstrange:

let it be by lucifersfavoritechild

“While dealing with his son's car accident and a rapidly-dissolving marriage, Tony is drawn to Peter's surgeon, Dr. Stephen Strange.”

where severus snape is hot, not a stalker, and somehow gets the girl by utopiste

“Or: Peter Parker is sick and wants to cut his Neuroscience class. Tony just wants to help (and maybe date his son's hot teacher). Stephen Strange just wants to give his lecture in peace.”

miscellaneous:

geraskier: who needs plans anyways by NTK

“All witchers are alphas or betas by nature, since no omega has ever survived the Trial of the Grasses. Gerald has never had any problems with satisfying his needs on the occasional rut, for the whores from Poviss to Nilfgard were eager to be of service to a sturdy hunk like him. On the other hand, a certain omega/ bard/ occasional witcher tagalong has always made certain to acquire enough suppressants from local healers before setting out on a new adventure. That is, until the travels with his favourite White Wolf led the unlike pair into uncharted territory for longer than expected… life ensues”

philtriss: bound by sapphiresmoke

“Leashing involves a pupil being bound to their master in body, mind, and magic,” Philippa explained, folding her hands on the desk in front of her. “It is not something to undertake lightly, but if you accept, I will be able to share my magic with you, and instruct you in ways that would be otherwise be impossible if I were to only rely on verbal communication. It is intimate, it is at times invasive, but if you consent to this, Triss, it will make you vastlymore powerful, and from the look in your eyes, that seems to be exactly what you are looking for.”

vandermatthews: one more night like this would put me six feet under by jukeboxgraduate

“To be alongside the same person week after week, to share honesty and trust with someone day after day, is a rare treasure in a life that hinges on dishonesty. Hosea holds it close to his heart.”

din/cobb: every wave is a tidal if you hang around by wolfhalls 

“Din comes to Mos Pelgo, and finds a lot more than he was looking for.”

and finally, rough day by @no-droids​, because we all need to be a little indulgent sometimes.

[mrpenguinpants]

Alright, I finally read Reincarnation no Kaben

AFTER MONTHS (it’s probably been a month? My mind doesn’t keep track of the days) I FINALLY CAUGHT UP TO RNK. Ty to Okita anon for the recommendation (*￣3￣)╭💕💕💕 I absolutely loved it. 

After this I’ll start on the other recommendation you gave me. I kept a bit of a log of my reading journey under the read more tag. 

Major spoilers for literally everything in RNK up to ch 53 “Withdrawal”. 

Oh, and I’ll finish answering all my leftover asks and I SHOULD have a fic done by tomorrow. I was so ready to write and then I got up. Now I’m back to bed. 

I’m just gonna write this as a log since I read super super slow and I’m only on ch 7 at the start of writing this but I’m really liking it already. Though to be fair. I love everything okita anon recommends haha. I remember you saying you were simping over Kouu and I haven’t gotten to the part where he appears but I wanted to quickly google what he looked like to prepare myself and I see this:

Well. That’s reassuring. 

I was actually kinda surprised by how many western figures were in the manga since I know there are only like 7? Around 7 western figures that pop up in any anime/manga but seeing people like Albert Fish was kinda surprising but I really liked it. Also, at the end of certain chapters they write little bio’s on them so you get to know more about them was such a nice touch.  I also love that the tradition of making males -> females still stays strong even outside the fate universe hehe.

---

Literally, the next chapter I see him. AHHHHHHHHH. Well maybe not him but his eyeballs. 

This guy lowkey reminds me of the MC’s brother but it’s 99% because he has the same long ponytail. I wouldn’t be surprised if the brother was apart of the the Greats. Honestly, Ein reminds me of those really hard headed girls that are actually really kind on the inside but aren’t good at expressing themselves (maybe because that’s pretty much her character). I also like that Ein doesn’t like males but she’s hiding behind this guy. At least, I’m..99% sure this is Ein. 

I FUCKING KNEW IT. AS SOON AS I SAW HE GOT A THEIF TALENT I COULD FEEL THE SOLO LEVELING VIBES IN ME. HE CAN STEAL TALENTS I FUCKING KNEW IT!!! I’m surprised that Neumann didn’t say anything and  Haito seems to be aware of it.  

Edit: Ah okay, I understand a bit now but it almost seems like Haito is the only one aware of Toya’s second talent.

Edit 2: Okay, as much as I love power hungry MC’s I’m really glad they didn’t make Toya into that. I am such a softie for sympathetic and kind MC’s like these even though it’s been done so many times. I’m really glad this didn’t feel like a rehash. I mean, some points some of the stuff Toya says it does but it’s fine, I don’t mind that. I actually gave a crap about him since I usually prefer the side characters (I UNDERSTAND ANON, I CARE ABOUT KOUU SO MUCH AHHHHH) but HAITO?? AHHHHH. 

---

I like that Izo always has the same hat in every adaptation he’s in lol. Istg, cats are always op. Schrodinger seems so strong and the parallel universes are my absolute shit. Sometimes I think, in one universe I did this and in this universe I’m not. Would I rather stay in this universe or be in the one where I am actually productive. Usually I pick the productive universe and actually work but sometimes I’m a bit of a slacker haha. I think this is my approach to a lot of things in life. But I digress, I don’t wanna get too deep into my life. 

I can sorta sympathize with the sinners. At least the ripper guy to say the least. I love love love unhinged characters that just want to basically destroy the world or at least have fun. But then you find out- wait they are actually sympathetic oh no. That’s how I felt about Djoser in “im the great priest imhotep” (please...i beg...someone read this...I’m so starved). 

As much as character development and rooting for the hero is cool and all, I just want to simp for the crazy “let’s burn the world to the ground” kinda character. I’m also so glad Toya doesn’t automatically become evil and try and steal everyone’s talents because he does seem like a good person and I really don’t see him suddenly switching fields so when he saved (I don’t remember names I’m sorry), the undead solider it was really nice. Proves that he still has his humanity and isn’t strictly relying on the branch of sin. 

It makes sense that he wants to steal talents since he never had one (and it was kinda out of left field when he killed Vlad and we just never addressed that ever again haha) but to see him actually consider his actions and if he actually want’s to steal his teammates talents feels right to me. Poor guy doesn’t seem to have a lot of friends so this is the first time he’s ever seemed to have companionship, aside from Haito, so I really hope he doesn’t attempt to steal their talents. I think I’m thinking of the slime? That time I got reincarnated as a slime manga/anime. Where he’s the pokemon catcher of skills. I thought that was where it was going. 

But I do kinda like how selfish Haito and Toya’s talent stealing relationship is (I mean, later it develops but my first draft of writing this I wasn’t there yet). I’m not sure if selfish or like self-gratitude/pride is the right word but it’s kind of a breath of fresh air. Rather than Haito trying to contain or “help” Toya’s inferiority she’s actually encouraging it and using her own talent for her own...acknowledgement? Er, yeah let’s go with that. 

---

This. This interaction. I love this. Like, genuinely love this. We need more of this. Two people from opposite sides finding some common ground and their fight to the death is less about morals or whose on whose side but for themselves. I love that. This is actually some wholesome stuff. 

Edit: AHHHHH CATCH MY UGLY CRYING IN THE BACK BECAUSE ALL THE “SINNERS” ARE ACTUALLY AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. IM DEAD. YOU’VE KILLED ME. 

---

I KNEW IT! YOU CAN NEVER TRUST THESE KIND OF PEOPLE!! I’m going to slap the whiteboard on this but if I see any “goofy” character I’m immediately sus of them. 

As much as I hate that Hitler is getting drawn as a small child I really like this. I know the whole, oh I killed your friends but I’m letting you go because you express humanity but I’m gonna finish my death with a sympathetic line, can be annoying to people but idk I really liked this. 

Honestly this and the undead soldiers death hit me hard ngl. This manga might not have my favourite art style during some points compared to like main stream manga but it has some really beautiful scenes. 

BOOM CALLED IT, though it’s pretty obvious lol. 

THE PONY TAIL NEVER LIES AND HES DA VINCI IT MAKES SENSE NOW

He looks so cute lol. I like that Seiya has the talent of being talented in everything while Toya has the talent to steal other talents. Seiya can probably only cap his power by his own physical/mental abilities with Toya can pull a solo leveling and go further beyond. Thinking of it like jack of trades vs master of none type deals. Though, I might be thinking too hard on this. I like that this man is actually humble but I really wish there was a tiny bit more to him since we only get this one interaction/backstory but the manga isn’t completed yet. I really hope we get to know about Seiya more;; like how he became da vinci or etc. 

Everytime I see Neumann I look at that comic sans type and it kills me on the inside. But I love that her eyes are 01 just, mwah perfection. These little details that aren’t that big but it’s soooo nice. I also ahem, unhinged character heart be still. It’s really nice reading manga in bursts because you can see the art progression and damn does she look good. 

tiny fang appreciation post. 

ngl i’M HARD SIMPING FOR THIS MAN. It’s the pony tail, I have such a thing for guys with long hair (and this is why genshin broke me) but man the art really picked up here. 

I didn’t get into it but OKITA ANON I GET IT. KOUU??? AHHHH. WHY DID YOU HAVE TO DIE??? As much as his whole “war” was a bit questionable in the beginning and tbh I still don’t really get it I like that he knows he’s not the same as the other Greats but still tries to help the other “sinners” in a way only he knows. That’s why Seiya was so important;; I get that he wanted them to have a fun death and to be understood but idk, the whole war idea and having them kill each other (especially the Hitler fights because I understand the others since they reached some kind of acknowledgement) but nonetheless, what a great guy.

Nightingale gives me mad masaki vibes from chainsawman. I hate them and I can’t wait for you to fail, but the inner part of my is cheering for you because unhinged characters are my shit. I feel really bad for Neumann, I had suspicions she wasn’t actually like that since it’s sooo out of left field but I’m really glad the manga seems to know what it’s doing. I really wish we got more Kouu interactions with everyone tho. 

NOW THIS. THIS IS SOME WHOLESOME STUFF. I WANT THIS. I REALLY WANT SPIN-OFF OF REALLY SAD ANIME/MANGA/STORIES WHERE ALL THE DEAD PEOPLE HANG OUT. That’s how I’m feeling about JJK and the scroll segments or BSD WAN that just came out. IT’S SO WHOLESOME TO SEE EVERYONE NOT TRYING TO KILL EACH OTHER. 

UGLY SOBBING IN THE CLUBBB AND KOUU AND CHARLOTTE AHHHH. I hate how this is phrased but the respect I have for Hitler?? YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW HARD THAT IS TO TYPE?? Kitazuka is cool tho, I really like him. Some god given talent. I’m hard simping over him but I really hope we get to know more about him later. 

Getting smug mona vibes, I love this. 

AHHH IVE NEVER FELT THIS UPSET OVER AN APPLEEEE. I’M ACTUALLY UPSET. IF HE DIES IM ACTUALLY GOING TO CRY MY HEART OUT. 

THE FAMOUS SLAP 

I’M SORRY WHA- SLENDERMAN?

Oh..wow. Okay, be still my heart. When I first saw her I thought she was really pretty but now I’m absolutely smitten. God damn, can I please have some more crumbs on these characters before they die;; 

AHHH SAME GIRL FUCKING SAME????? I adore these small panels and translator notes. It’s a real breather after the sad 3am hours talk these characters go through. 

Yagyuu. Jesus christ. WHY ARE ALL THE DEATH SCENES IN THIS MANGA ACTUALLY SO PRETTY AND STABS ME IN THE HEART??? that’s it. goodbye. im fucking out. im actually so upset rn. WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME? 

---

In conclusion, and I should probably re-read what the characters say and not go off on memory because I’m about to get really deep. I really like how they phrased why they wanted to stop the branch of sin. That there are people just like Toya and Haito who, if they never found the branch of sin, could still probably lead respectable and okay lives. That there was a “them” in another universe that didn’t go down that road and that they want to be in the same universe as “them”. I know this sounds really confusing if you haven’t read the manga but going back to what I said about the parallel universe stuff. 

There was a universe where Toya and Haito didn’t rely on the branch of sin, that even without their talents from becoming a returner, they could still live a happy life given their own personalities and attitudes. It was kinda moving since in the beginning, Toya wanted a talent so badly and now that he has one. He’s realizing that wait, I don’t need a past life talent in order to live. Honestly, I hard relate to that because I totally agree with him. If you have a talent you can probably live a very happy and comfortable life that other factors wouldn’t matter if you just have that incredible talent. Thinking of it as a painter or artist, if you had actual god-given talent you wouldn’t need to worry about other factors since people would naturally seek that talent. So you end up comparing yourself to others and setting that limit on yourself. 

But that’s okay, it’s completely natural and I’m not saying it’s horrible if you do this. Fuck, I do this all the time. I’m not saying the manga is changing my life but it’s kind of refreshing that it get’s talked about since other adaptations of this just make the character super OP. I understand wanting to have that incredible talent, fuck who doesn’t? but you don’t need it in order to live earnestly in the bigger picture sense. Not everything you do has to be productive and honestly, learning to be okay with having fun is nice. Just being okay with who you are right now, even if it isn’t perfect in your eyes, you still have time to build upon yourself and your own talents but doing it for yourself. 

But I probably missed the point and I’m going way to deep haha. But I really enjoyed reading this and thank you once again to okita anon for the recommendation^^ I always love everything you send me and I’ll start reading the next one. If anyone else has any recommendations let me know! 

[artificialqueens]

In Sickness and In Health Ch3 - shalaska - pureCAMP

A/N - its been a while!! i moved house friday 18th and ive only just got wifi!! but it’s here now thank god

i wanna show some love for my partner in crime nymph, who loves this fic more than she loves me (i think)

One thing Alaska had neglected to mention before the two of them arrived at the carriage station is that she’d never been in a regular carriage. Or any carriage, really. Her first time in a vehicle drawn by horses was that same day, accompanied by the King, Queen and Princesses. Granted, the regular carriages weren’t as lush as the royal ones, but that was to be expected. The interior was a shade of off-white, presumably painted with whitewash, and was a little bit dusty in the corners. There were two long benches on either end of the carriage, a thick blanket covering them. They were just long enough to lie across if one person shuffled to the side a little bit. The driver introduced himself and his horses – Star and Nutmeg – before helping them in. Sharon got in first, tugging the hood of her robe so it covered her face in case the driver recognised her. Alaska did the same, but to try and be untraceable rather than conceal her identity completely. No one would recognise her, but if she failed her task she knew she’d never be able to return home.

Fairly quickly, they were off, with Sharon offering double the cash to get moving as soon as possible. Light was beginning to fade and a lot of carriages didn’t travel throughout the night without extra coaxing. Alaska leaned against the wall of the carriage as she sat, letting out a breath she didn’t know she’d been holding as she pulled the hood down again. Opposite her, Sharon did the same, drawing the ragged curtains closed before removing her own hood in the privacy of the carriage.

In the dwindling light of the evening, Sharon looked sicker than ever. The harsh shadows and lack of light were unkind to her sunken features. Alaska came to the realization, again, that the princess was inches from death, and there was little chance she’d get through it without Sharon dying, the witch refusing to treat her, or Alaska falling in love.

 But she had to. It had only been early that morning that Alaska had left her home, awoken to the news of an emergency town meeting concerning the health of the Princess. It was mere hours ago that Alaska believed she would attend the meeting, then go out to work, return home to her small house and eat the same dry bread as always.  The fact that she’d gotten entangled with the royal family so quickly, promising to complete a task that seemed damn near impossible, was so out of the ordinary that in a way, Alaska felt as though she had to deliver. If not, breaking out of her usual, albeit boring routine would’ve been for nothing.

“We’ll stop off at the next marketplace we find in the morning.” Sharon stated, her voice sounding grave. “For food, weapons, whatever we can find.”

Alaska nodded. “It’s gonna be a dangerous road ahead, if we even make it through the neighbouring kingdom. I’ve never been anywhere near it.”

“I have.” Sharon told her. “I used to accompany my father on peaceful visits to do with business and that. Not too exciting, but it’s something a future queen has to do.”

For a fleeting moment, the princess looked sad, staring off wistfully as if she were upset. However, she was quick to regain her stony facade. “I’ve been to a few palace balls there too. The place itself is beautiful, but I didn’t meet a single person there who didn’t make me want to drown myself in champagne.”

Alaska let out a laugh, strangely excited at the fact that she and the princess were conversing. “What’s Prince Ronald like? Heard he’s a real character.”

Sharon snorted. “Character doesn’t fucking describe it.” She swore. “If I’m honest, sometimes I wish that our kingdoms would go to war again, just so I could see him die in battle. The fucker loves me. His little brother does, too. Who is fifteen fucking years old.”

 For some reason, Alaska still found it shocking just how different their lives were. Sharon had everything Alaska could ever want or need, and more. She had endless stacks of money, a beautiful palace, designer clothes, men falling at her feet. She attended parties and balls and conferences, spoke with individuals from all across the region, far and wide. She saw the world and all of its people. Alaska had none of it. She lived in a small home near the orphanage she’d grown up in, not far from Willam and Courtney. Her purse had pennies in it, barely enough to buy the groceries she needed to survive. She worked, she went home, she worked again. She wore the same dress for as long as she could get away with, washed it in the small stream, and wore her other dress until she could no longer get away with that one. The contrast was astonishing.

Yet Sharon sounded unhappy. Complaining. She had everything that anybody could wish for, dream of and need, and she didn’t seem to have an ounce of gratefulness.

“Must be exhausting, having so many suitors falling at your feet. All that money and everything.”

Sharon caught the hint of bitterness underpinning Alaska’s words, and raised an eyebrow. “You really wanna swap lives with me? Trust me, it isn’t as great as you might think.”

Alaska scoffed. “You have wealth. I can’t think of a single problem of mine that wouldn’t be solved by the money you have.”

“Money isn’t everything. Money doesn’t mean shit.”

“That’s what rich people say.” Alaska countered, feeling brave. “I can barely survive on the money I have. Your money could literally change my life –”

Sharon cut her off. “You have freedom. That’s something I’ve never had and I never will.”

An uncharacteristic bubble of frustration swelled up inside Alaska. “Freedom? Sharon, how on this earth do I have freedom? I have to work every single day, scrimp and scrounge and save every penny I come across. I can’t go out, drink in bars, have fun, I can’t do any of that!”

“Neither can I!” Sharon argued back. “When you step out of your house in the morning, no one is stopping you. No one tells you how to dress, what to say, how to act, who to talk to. You make that decision yourself. No one tells you where to go. You choose where to go. No one tells you not to go out, not to have fun. You choose that. Until I was twenty, I wasn’t allowed out of the palace walls without Miss Michaels. When I did leave, my clothes were chosen for me, my hair styled, I was told what to say depending on who spoke to me, and who not to talk to at all. I had to be the sweet, intelligent young princess at all times, responsible and ready to be a Queen. Try upholding an image like that when you just wanna go for a walk. You don’t have to be anybody. No one expects anything of you.”

She sighed. “I can’t go to bars either. I can’t go to all those rowdy revels that happen in the woods. I can’t even make friends. I’m twenty four years old and I don’t have a single friend.”

Alaska looked down. “You have me.”

“Huh?”

“You have me.” Alaska said again, louder this time. “My name’s Alaska, and I’m twenty two years old. My birthday is March 6th. My favourite colour is red and my biggest fear is drowning.”

Sharon chuckled. “Okay, I see. I’m Sharon, I’m twenty four years old. My birthday is November 28th. My favourite colour is mauve or black and I guess… I don’t know what my biggest fear is.”

She went quiet, but Alaska was quick to remedy the silence. “So we’re friends now. That makes us friends.”

Sharon smiled briefly, her lips curving upwards ever so slightly at her words. She opened her mouth as if to speak, before quickly covering it with one hand and using the other to delve into her bag. When she couldn’t control the impending coughing fit, she leaned her head out of the window, pushing the curtain aside as she blindly scrabbled for the little spitting pot she used. Alaska watched helplessly, knowing Sharon would only push her away.

After a couple of minutes, Sharon fell silent again. She drew back inside slowly, dabbing self-consciously at her mouth. Her face was grey and drawn, the bags under her eyes suddenly seeming more pronounced than before. She tossed the small pot back into her bag, sinking back down into her seat and letting her shoulders slump. It was clear she had no energy left to hold herself properly upright. With one trembling hand, she lifted her hood up and covered her face with it once again.

The carriage stopped suddenly, the two of them jolting forwards as the horses whinnied loudly. Alaska frowned in confusion as the driver poked his head through the curtain covering the window.

“Hey! I heard coughing in here. I ain’t carryin’ no diseased bastards in here, I got a business to run.” He snarled, glaring at Sharon. She turned her head away from him, catching Alaska’s eye and managing to signal her to pull her own hood up before she attempted to speak.

“S-S-Sorry –” She began, hardly able to formulate words.

“Listen.” Alaska continued for her, noting the grateful nod that was sent her way. “We paid you double to drive through the night, not to stop and ask questions about our health.”

The driver narrowed his eyes, squinting beadily at the two of them. “You know what dirty fucks like her do to my business? They contaminate my carriage, meanin’ I can’t have no more passengers. And then? Business goes bust. No money. Ya hear me?”

Alaska scowled. “You were paid extra. Carry on.”

“I’m not movin’ an inch.”

“Name your price.”

It was a risky move, offering extra money – for all Alaska knew, this driver could scam them out of pocket and leave with all of the money Sharon had with her. However, it was all she could think to do. Already they were wasting precious time that Sharon didn’t have. It was a race against the clock, and every moment that passed was a moment she was getting sicker. If money was what it would take to get the driver to keep going, then that’d have to work.

The driver thought for a moment, before stating his figure to his passengers. Alaska’s eyes shot open, taken aback, but Sharon didn’t react.

“P-P-Pock-ket ch-change.” She stuttered, gesturing limply to the bag beside her. “C-Can you…”

She trailed off, but Alaska understood her meaning. Leaning forwards – making sure to keep a careful eye on the driver, in case he tried anything clever – she reached into Sharon’s bag, opening up the purse and taking out his desired amount of money. True to her word, it was practically pocket change in comparison to what Sharon owned. The little purse was stuffed full with more notes and coins than Alaska had ever come into contact with in all her twenty two years of life.

“There.” She said, firmly pressing the notes into the driver’s greedily outstretched palm. “You’re driving through the night and the morning. You’ll stop when we tell you and only when we tell you. Try and kick us out again, the money goes right back to us.”

The driver nodded. “Yes, ma’am. We’ll be off, then.”

With that, he was gone. Alaska felt strangely amused; the fact that she’d been referred to as ‘Ma’am’, or even listened to for that matter, was so different compared to her everyday life. Bossing people around was a little more enjoyable than she cared to admit. The carriage jolted forwards as the sound of a whip cracking came from in front of them, and then it was shambling down the road once again.

“Th-Thanks, Lasky.” Sharon managed, smiling weakly.

Alaska brushed her off. “Oh, it was nothing! I had to make sure we kept going.”

“N-No.” Sharon tried again. “F-For frie-friend.”

The sentence barely made sense, what with Sharon unable to speak fully, but the meaning was clear enough. Unwittingly, a huge smile filled Alaska’s face as she looked upon the princess. She was Sharon’s first friend. At the very least, despite the outcome that lay ahead, she could say for certain that something good had come from the situation. At least it could be said that the princess had a friend.

Opposite her, Sharon seemed utterly drained of all life. She was struggling to keep her eyes open, her eyelids drooping and fluttering as she slid lower down in her seat. Her body grew weaker and weaker after every coughing fit, reaching a pinnacle as soon as the fit was over, leaving her grey and sweaty and exhausted. Back in the palace, Miss Michaels or someone else equally versed in Sharon and her sickness would be at her side immediately, helping her lie back and gently tipping water into her mouth, but not now. Now she clung to the bottom of her seat as tightly as she could – a grip so loose that a breath of wind could knock her down – and tried to collect herself.

“You need to rest.” Alaska said, speaking softly. “It’s been a rough day for you.”

Sharon snorted. “Ev-Everyday is r-r-rough.”

“I know. Come here, come lie on my seat. I can take the blanket from your seat and drape it over you.”

Normally, Sharon would’ve protested, but she just didn’t have the fight in her. Nodding tiredly, she rose to her feet and stumbled to the other side, sitting a few feet away from Alaska to catch her breath. Alaska reached for the blanket on the opposite bench, tucking Sharon’s belongings underneath so they were out of sight and guiding the princess into a lying down position. She was just a little taller than the length of the bench, her legs awkwardly cramped against the far wall.

Alaska draped the blanket over Sharon’s shivering form. “Hey, you can rest your head in my lap so you’re not so uncomfortable. Here, I’ve got you.”

Sharon was practically asleep, compliant to everything Alaska told her to do. She made sure the blanket was covering as much of the princess as was possible as she shifted her head into her lap, her fingers absent-mindedly stroking Sharon’s dark hair. Sharon mumbled unintelligible words of approval, sleepily nestling closer to Alaska and breathing deeply.

“G-Good friend…” She whispered.

Alaska smiled tenderly down at her. “I’m nothing if not a good friend. That’s why I’m here with you.”

Sharon didn’t stir. “N-Not noth-nothing…”

Before Alaska even had a chance to respond, or piece together what the princess had said, she’d fallen asleep. Her eyes finally closed, her body slumping more so than it had when she’d tried to keep herself together. In her slumber, Sharon’s cheeks and lips were rosy, flushed with colour that she lacked during her waking hours. It was incredibly reassuring to Alaska – that and the feel of Sharon’s breath against Alaska’s leg, and the rising and falling of her chest. She’d been irrationally afraid that Sharon would appear almost corpse-like in her sleep, like her daytime self only magnified, but she didn’t. If anything, she looked more alive than she had during the entire day.

“I’d give myself a week, two weeks at most. Death will be a goddamn blessing when it finally arrives.”

Not likely, Alaska thought to herself. You’re not dying on my watch.

-0-

Somewhere around two in the morning, Sharon’s steady breaths must’ve lulled Alaska to sleep. She woke up to glaring sun shining through the flapping curtain, the fresh air like a slap in the face. It was still early, but Alaska was fully conscious now, the pale sunlight outside suggesting that it had not long been dawn. Sharon, unsurprisingly, was still fast asleep, having curled up towards Alaska even more as she slept. One of Alaska’s hands rested on the side of the princess’s face, resuming the gentle stroking of her hair that she’d spent what felt like hours doing the previous night. Although still as black as her mother’s, Sharon’s hair felt brittle and dry, like it would snap or fall out at any moment. Alaska supposed that, what with her illness and the fearsome temper it had brought along with it, Sharon had bigger priorities than whether or not her hair was glossy. Still, it was a shame to see it had deteriorated so much since Alaska had last seen Sharon healthy. Almost everything about her had deteriorated in some way. Back when she wasn’t so sick, she’d been the envy of every woman and the eye of every man in the kingdom. Her last public appearance – a celebration of the harvest, which had been particularly bountiful that year, Alaska recalled – had been incredible, and Alaska remembered noting how wonderful she looked.

“Good evening everyone, thank you so much for the warm welcome.” Sharon greeted the crowd, her face alight with joy. The twenty-two year old hadn’t appeared in public on her own many times, and although she must’ve been dreadfully nervous, she didn’t show it. The crowd was positively delighted to have the eldest princess leading their celebration, used to simply having the King or the Queen. She’d dressed for the occasion in a gown that was golden, complimenting her fair skin, and her eyes were sparkling.

“As we all now know, the harvest this year has been amazingly fruitful. Never before have we had such a spread of grains, vegetables and fruit from one single yield. Our animals, too, are plump and well looked after. All of this, of course, is down to our wonderful farmers. Please, everybody show your gratefulness for the truest foundation of our community.”

The crowd broke into applause as the farmers made their way up onto the stage where Sharon was stood – a group of middle-aged men headed by one older gentleman, and tailed by a young apprentice of about fourteen. Each one received an award and a kiss on the cheek from the princess, accompanied by a wide smile and some kind words. The young lad, after receiving his award and complimentary kiss, blushed a deep shade of tomato red and clutched his cheek, his infatuation obvious.

Alaska smirked as she watched him stumble, wobbly-kneed, to his seat. Sharon always had that effect on the young men, her charisma and beauty an unbeatable combination. She was utterly charming.

“Maybe I should get into farming.” Willam commented off-handedly. Alaska started to snicker as Courtney slapped his arm.

“Willam!” She scolded.

“What?!” He defended himself, turning to Alaska for support. “Tell me Princess Sharon isn’t fucking irresistible.”

Alaska laughed. “Sorry, Court. Gotta admit, she’s gorgeous.”

Courtney sniffed. “Does she know the bad reputation that comes with red lipstick? Really, they shouldn’t let her wear it. Everyone knows it’s for whores. And she’s a princess.”

Willam sighed dreamily. “Fuck, that’s hot.”

His comment earned him another slap and a shrill telling-off from Courtney, effectively drowning out Alaska’s murmured, “Yeah, it is.”

Her hair had been thick and full then, her face full of life, her clothes well-fitted and her body healthy. It was a stark contrast to the Sharon who lay asleep in her lap, with only a mere hint of her old beauty remaining to identify the woman as the same beloved princess of their kingdom.

Still, it couldn’t be said that Sharon was no longer beautiful. Of course, she didn’t look a thing like she had before she had gotten sick, but that was to be expected. But the sight of her asleep – her head cradled in Alaska’s lap, curled up underneath the blanket – was definitely a beautiful one. If it were possible, Alaska would’ve just stared at her forever. However, she needed to focus. She had a mission ahead, and completion was a matter of life or death.

No sooner had Alaska been pulled from her thoughts, the subject of her distraction awoke. Sharon lifted one bony hand up to her face, rubbing her eyes before struggling into a sitting position. Instinctively, Alaska moved to help her.

“Thanks…” She yawned, half-asleep. “You’re a very comfy bed.”

She leaned down to rest her head on Alaska’s shoulder, her eyes closing again. Alaska chuckled lightly and put one arm around her, unintentionally moving the princess closer. Whether it was purposeful or not, Alaska didn’t know, but she didn’t miss the way Sharon nuzzled into her, clearly too sleepy to think too hard about her actions. The gesture made a rosy blush shoot across Alaska’s cheeks, her heart rate quickening.

“Glad to hear it,” She replied softly. “Did you sleep okay?”

Sharon breathed heavily, her head practically lolling. “Like a baby. Are we near any markets?”

“Not sure.” Alaska told her. “I can ask the driver?”

Sharon made a kind of grunt in response, reluctantly shifting away from Alaska and curling up instead inside her big robe. As Alaska made her way out of the seat, she laughed to herself. Clearly, the princess wasn’t a morning person.

“Hey!” She called, leaning precariously out of the window to attract the driver’s attention. “Are there any marketplaces nearby?”

Thankfully, it didn’t take much waving for the driver to notice her. “Yeah, five minutes away? You stopping?”

“Yeah, thank you!”

Alaska ducked back inside. “Five minutes. Wakey wakey, sleepyhead.”

Sharon groaned.

-o-

Akin to the marketplace back in their kingdom, the city square was abuzz with activity, a flurry of colourful stalls and signs and teenagers yelling for sales. Despite the similarities, Alaska felt incredibly nervous stepping out of the carriage. She had debated with Sharon about whether they should leave or take their stuff with them – on one hand, the driver might not be trustworthy, but on the other, markets were rife with thieves and pickpockets. In the end, they’d decided that taking everything with them would be safer, both of them putting their hooded robes on top of the bags strung across their bodies to hide them from sight.

The crime in markets always worried her, even in her own kingdom. Over time, she’d learned to identify the faces of who couldn’t be trusted, who she needed to look out for, and where they lurked, too. But here, somewhere new, she didn’t know. She didn’t know whose smiles were genuine and whose were tainted with mischief. She didn’t even know her way around. Sure, there were signs, just like the ones at home, but Alaska never used the signs. She knew where everything was at home.

“Well, shit.” Sharon murmured, her voice still thick with sleep. “Sheltered princess mode activated. This is completely overwhelming.”

Alaska frowned. “You’ve been to markets before, haven’t you? Like the one at home?”

Sharon pulled a face. “Not alone. There’s – there’s so many people!”

Without thinking, Alaska put an arm around the princess, standing closer to her. “It’s okay. Just keep your bag close to you and try not to bump into anyone.”

“That sounds impossible.” Sharon breathed, hastening to elaborate when Alaska’s expression became confused. “Hello? There’s people everywhere!”

Alaska did her best to keep Sharon calm. “Let’s just have a look around, see what we can find. You said yesterday that we need food and weapons, we can wander and find it.”

It was clear she didn’t want to show it, but Sharon was visibly nervous. Each time someone brushed past them, her fingers gripped tightly onto Alaska’s wrist, and every yell made her tense herself up. She remained quiet as they walked, too afraid in the new environment to strike up a proper conversation.

To Alaska, it was a little strange to have someone to accompany her to a marketplace. Usually she was alone, nipping between stalls to pick up exactly what she needed and then leaving. Only here, not only was she with Sharon, she didn’t know where anything was. After a short while of walking, she found herself amongst the clothing stalls – which wasn’t where she wanted to be.

“Food, food.” She muttered to herself under her breath. “Where the fuck is the food?”

Sharon stopped and pointed. “Food’s that way.”

“How do you know?” Alaska questioned her, tilting her head to the side.

A confused expression flitted across Sharon’s face. “There’s a sign right there, look.”

Instinctively, Alaska glanced up to the sign Sharon was pointing at. She could see an arrow, and some printed letters, but she had no idea what the words read.

She smiled uneasily. “Right, right, of course… Yeah. Let’s go.”

She didn’t miss Sharon’s gaze lingering on her for a few moment after she had looked up at the sign, but chose to ignore the rising blush on her cheeks. Sharon didn’t know, after all. Intelligent as she was, Sharon was naive. Why would she know that someone like Alaska couldn’t read? Of course, she’d grown up rich and educated; she would believe that everyone could read. For as long as she could allow Sharon to believe that, or at least not have to enlighten her to the truth, she would.

Soon enough, they found the correct stalls, and Alaska picked out the food they would need as Sharon counted out the money. Things had settled – Sharon was calmer now, and Alaska less embarrassed. Alaska knew it wouldn’t last long, something would disrupt the peace. And of course, she was right.

“Hello, my good sir! One of your finest red apples, please!” A loud, sonorous voice rang out from the stall next to them.

Sharon winced. “Oh, shit.”

Alaska was about to ask Sharon why she’d cringed when she spotted the speaker.

It was only Prince Ronald, the eldest son to the neighbouring kingdom’s monarchy. He was one of those men that appeared to be uncomfortably perfect – his teeth were too large and too white, his smile too wide, his back too straight and his voice too loud. As expected, he was all dressed up in his finery, with a long sword hanging from his belt. Alaska watched as he took a bite out of his apple, chewed appreciatively, and then spotted the two of them.

“Ah! Ladies!” He called out, tossing the barely-eaten apple into a nearby bin – a waste of money, even if he did have mountains of it. “Let me pay for this!”

The shopkeeper eagerly stretched out his hand for the prince’s money, uninterested in Sharon or Alaska. Wordlessly, he handed their bags over to Alaska and started counting the notes, his eyes wide and greedy.

Sharon groaned. “You really didn’t have to –”

She paused suddenly, as she realized her voice would be a giveaway to her identity. Unfortunately, it was too late. Prince Ronald turned around incredulously, his gaze honing in on Sharon as if Alaska didn’t exist.

“Sharon? What on earth are you doing here? A market is no place for a princess, especially not for a princess from another kingdom! Now I’m positively ecstatic that I bought your shopping for you! You should know it isn’t safe for you here!”

Sharon grimaced. “Thanks, Ron.” She said insincerely. “Now I –”

“If anyone sees you!” Ron continued loudly, as though Sharon had never even opened her mouth. “Goodness me! This won’t do at all!”

He took Sharon’s elbow and began to drag her away, leaving Alaska no choice but to follow. Sharon was too weak to fight him off as she usually would have, and stumbled alongside Ron with a pissed expression on her face. When he finally let go, having pulled the two of them into an alleyway backing the stalls, he started to speak again.

“I must say, it is wonderful to see you again! Although – oh my. You look dreadful.”

“Thanks again, Ron.” Sharon deadpanned.

Ron laughed, obnoxiously noisy. “Oh, you. Of course you’re still beautiful. You always will be! Especially to me.”

Sharon rolled her eyes. “Flirting with me in a dirty back alley. You’re a class act, Ron.”

He laughed again, seeming to find everything that Sharon said hilarious, or perhaps interpreting her mixture of indifference and dislike as friendship. “A vixen, that’s what you are! Well-deserving of true classy treatment!” He exclaimed. “I say, let me tell you, my mother was talking about you just last week – just last week, fancy that! And she said, she said ‘Ron, that Sharon is a wonderful lady, you really should continue courting her!’ And she’s right! Wonderful, that’s you, simply wonderful. She tells me ‘All good women put up a fight before marriage, you’ll get her!’”

Sharon shot an apologetic look towards Alaska, shrugging helplessly. Alaska listened to the prince’s ramblings with a growing sense of annoyance.

“And I say, I say ‘Mother, that’s what you’re not understanding about Sharon. She’s not interested in princes!’”

Sharon’s breath hitched.

“I tell her, ‘She’s interested in kings, mother, kings!’”

She breathed a sigh of relief.

“Classy, see, classy! You want classy treatment because you know you deserve it! And rightfully so! My coronation is soon, and perhaps then I will be worthy of your affection. Until then, I will continue to shower you with gifts.”

Sharon’s brow furrowed in thought. “Oh, so you’re who’s been sending all those roses.” She said, mostly to herself. “Hey, look – can you help me and my friend?”

The ‘my friend’ made Ron finally acknowledge Alaska, sending a stiff nod in her direction before turning back to Sharon. Alaska wasn’t sure how she felt – on one hand, Ron’s eyes were too blue, watery and just plain wrong. His gaze was uncomfortable. However, on the other hand, she wasn’t sure she liked the way he acted towards Sharon.

Ron took to one knee, taking Sharon’s pale hand in his and pressing an awkwardly lingering kiss to it in what Alaska assumed was supposed to be a romantic gesture.

“Of course I can, ma Cherie.” He responded. “That’s Spanish for ‘my love’. What do you need?”

Sharon looked as though she wanted to correct him, but thankfully settled for an easy life. “I’m doing some travelling, to uh… you know, see the world before I become Queen.” She lied.

Ron looked affronted. “But Sharon! You really shouldn’t be travelling, especially on your own! A poor, defenceless woman-”

“I don’t have to be defenceless.” Sharon cut in, her fists clenched in an attempt to keep her cool. “If you can give me access to some weapons, I can be protected. I know you have an impressive collection.”

Alaska noticed the change in Sharon’s tone – subtle but deliberate flirting. Anyone with working eyes would see that Sharon despised the man before her, but he was so besotted, or perhaps idiotic, that he fell for her charm. In the meantime, she widened her eyes at Alaska, signalling for help.

“I do, I do…” He trailed off, his eyes dreamy. “But no! You shouldn’t be alone, it’s too unsafe for a young princess out there. Let me accompany you, and –”

“No!” Alaska burst out, spurred on by Sharon’s silent plea for help. When Ron frowned, she thought fast. “It’s… uh… she’s – it’s like a, a bachelorette-type thing. No, um, men.”

Sharon nodded gratefully, jumping on board. “Yeah, you know me. Bit of a lone wolf. I thought it’d be nice to… uh… fly solo, um, before I find someone to, you know… settle with. I have to be ready.”

Both of their lies were awful, strung together badly and riddled with pauses and gaps, but Ron nevertheless seemed swayed. He nodded slowly, although Alaska could tell he was secretly disappointed about not being able to travel alongside Sharon.

“That makes perfect sense!” He agreed enthusiastically. “Go off, ‘find yourself’ as all you women claim you want to do, and return! I’m sure then you’ll be ready to be my wife, hm?”

Sharon hummed uncomfortably. “Ha, maybe.”

Ron waggled his eyebrows, not picking up on any of Sharon’s hesitant body language. “Who knows, in a year’s time we could have some Prince Ron’s and Princess Sharon’s of our own running around the palace!”

Sharon shuddered. “L-Let’s not get too far ahead. So you’ll supply us with some weapons?”

“Of course!” Ron assured her. “Come with me, come back to the palace, and we can fetch some. I’m sure my mother will be delighted to see your gorgeous face again! As will Felix, of course, and my father!”

As Ron turned to lead them away, Sharon took Alaska’s hand. It was a small gesture, but it meant a lot. She’d obviously noticed that Alaska had been sidelined, and had been stood listening to the exchange feeling shunned and a tad jealous, although she didn’t know why. She’d noticed, and endeavoured to try and make her feel better.

Sharon’s hands were cold, but Alaska’s were warm. She rubbed gentle circles into Sharon’s skin with her thumb, trying to warm her up.

“Can’t wait, Ron.” Sharon called out, the hint of sarcasm in her words drowned in Alaska’s mind by the accompanied squeezing of her hand. “Can’t wait.”

Alaska was in big, big trouble.

[sssoto]

Creator’s update #1

Hey guys! So I’ve decided to start actually blogging on this blog and tell a bit about the various things I’m working on, share WIPs, music I’ve been digging recently etc. I realise that I rarely post anything, so it seems like I’m super inactive - which is totally not true, I just have so much stuff going on and take a long time to finish things, and I’m also pretty picky about what I put up online lol! For the sake of keeping those of you interested in the loop, I’m gonna start this series of creator’s updates in which I’ll update y’all on the progress I’ve made on my various creative projects. The goal is to give an update a few times a month (hopefully lol)!

This past while I’ve been super inactive in the writing department, but very much productive in the art department, so my writing update will be mostly a summary of what I’ve been doing the past few years up until this point.

Mood: Feelin’ real good cuz my parents finally brought my comfy double bed over from my mum’s place this past weekend, which means no more sleeping on the couch yaaaaaas.

Music I’ve been digging recently:

Skye Sweetnam - Boyhunter So, the other day I randomly listened to this song on my way home from work, and I totally realised that Skye Sweetnam is the perfect voice for my character Caitlyn, and this song totally embodies what Caitlyn is all about lmaoooo. (The song isn’t very accurate to the time period Caitlyn lives in, but it’s super accurate to her character essence and personality, and I just find that so lit hahahah) 

Fallulah - Out of It This song is basically my MC’s theme song?? It’s performed by a Danish artist and was super popular in Denmark a few years back as it was the theme tune to a Danish tv show (a show I loved!). The lyrics are just so Daniel, it’s not even funny. It mostly fits his mental state at the beginning of Renaissance.

Girl’s Day - Love Again Ugh I just love the tune of this song so much, I can’t really place my finger on it, the emotion is just so great. I love the guitar riff especially, and Girl’s Day is a four member girl group, so it’s one of those songs where I can imagine my main girls Annaliese, Caitlyn, Mary and Serena singing as each member lmao.

Nine Muses - Remember Another four member group now, this song is also one where I can imagine my main girls singing each member’s part lmao, and having that aspect to a song always makes it a little better for me! Forreal tho, this new release from Nine Muses slays, and we all know it. The music video haunts me.

Sistar - Lonely This song makes me sad and happy all at once, cuz I’m not ready to say goodbye to Sistar, but at the same time this ending is probably the best one any fan could’ve wished for because there was no drama or anger, just well wishes and hope for the future. I know these girls will go far, and this song just pulls at all my heart strings man. The melody of the bridge and chorus, Dasom and Soyu’s parts in particular, really works for me. And yeah, Sistar has four members too, and once again I can picture my main girls singing as each member lmao. It’s a thing I have, okay?

Moana OST - We Know The Way + Know Who You Are I recently watched this movie, and while I sorta felt like the plot was a bit rushed and tropey in many ways, I totally adored the visuals and the MUSIC OMG. These two songs are my favourite, Lin-Manuel Miranda’s vocals never miss, and Auli’i Cravalho’s high note is gorgeous! Also dat choir in the background tho, and in context with the movie scene that song just makes me irrationally emotional mkay. (That ending was the best twist ever, it definitely lifted the story up a notch for me!)

Writing

So I’m writing a book! You might have seen me mention it a few times already on here, but I’ve not really shared much insight into my process or what sort of book this actually is (other than talking about characters here and there), and as I’ve not been making huge progress lately (I’m in an art state of mind duuuh), I thought that I’d keep this section short and sweet, with a bit of an introduction into what my book project is all about.

I call it a book project because I don’t feel comfortable just calling it a book when I don’t have rights to publish. Technically my book is a fanfiction based on the horror video game Amnesia: The Dark Descent, and as such I don’t own copyright of the small percentage of my story that features the canon elements. However, I take this as seriously as anyone else would writing their own book, because I’ve poured my entire heart and soul into it, and the vast majority of the content (plot, characters and world) is my original creation. It’s my own little big project lol!

You might be familiar with the game, and even if you aren’t, that’s not a prerequisite for reading my book since everything is introduced and set up just as in any regular book. The protagonist is an Englishman named Daniel, and we know little of his past through the game. I won’t go into too much detail on what the game is about (if you really wanna know, you can look it up), but the point of my book is to explore the protagonist’s life from his childhood up to the events of the game and beyond, and afterwards connect his story to the game sequels featuring other protagonists within the same universe. It’s a bit complex and elaborate, which is just the way I like it!

As the games are set at various points during the Victorian era (game #1 is set in Prussia 1839, game #2 is set in France 1858, and game #3 is set in England 1899), you can probably guess that the entire thing will be pretty long. That’s why I’m making it a series! I have at least seven books planned so far (though there’ll definitely be more, since I’m not near the end of the timeline I need to cover yet), and I currently have the first book written and am writing the sequel - however, the first book will need a complete rewrite once I’m finished with book #2, because I’ve since developed and changed a lot of stuff, and I have many new interesting ideas for a more fleshed out version of the first book. Still, the fanfic version is available online, so if you’d like to read it, you can find it here. You’ll get a pretty good idea of the general story and the characters, but keep in mind that it’s super outdated and will be very different after my rewrite!

For reference, this is the list of books that I’ve planned (and titled) so far, so you can keep up with what book of my series I’m talking about at any given point:

I - Amnesia: Memoirs

II - Amnesia: Renaissance

III - Amnesia: Voyage

IV - Amnesia: Noir

V - Amnesia: Encore

VI - Amnesia: Rogue

So what I’m doing right now with this project is revisions. Uuuuggghhhhh. Yes, that’s right, I’m stuck in revision hell. I’ve not even finished the first draft of Renaissance yet (I know, sacrilege, writing blasphemy, don’t start your damn edits until you’ve finished your draft dumbass), but I had some pretty major changes to make, changes so big that it would be a waste of time and effort to go on drafting without implementing them first. Mainly the changes are surrounding 1) a change of ages of my main cast (I aged many characters up a few years), and 2) changing and figuring out the specifics of the illness which my MC’s sister, Hazel, is afflicted with. She’s not such a major character in Renaissance, but she plays a big role in Memoirs, and since I had all these new ideas for the rewrite of that, I wanted to implement the ripple effects in the second book so it wouldn’t be too much of a hassle to edit later when Renaissance is a finished 3-400k first draft lmao (I have a lot of words okay?). These changes mostly affect the early chapters of my book - chapters I wrote about three years ago, which means that these early chapters really need a face-lift. In addition to the age and illness change, I wanna revise the first five chapters by cutting the fluff and tightening up the beginning so we get to the action a tiny bit faster. Adding to the fact that these early chapters are three years old, the prose also needs an almost complete rewrite. So long story short, all of the edits are taking a long ass time, and I’m not having a good time lmao. Doesn’t help that I had to stop drafting right at one of the juiciest scenes in my book?!?!? (that’s a lie, it gets juicier, but I was just getting to the real good stuff yanno?)

(Side note: for someone who said that I’d keep this short, it sure turned out long lmao. I just have too many damn words.)

Chapters edited: 2/16 (working on 3 right now and it’s an effin’ pain)

Current total word count: 120,591

Current total chapter count: 17 (the number will go down to 16 once I finish the revisions, as I’m merging two chapters)

Look at all the dumb shit I still have to edit for chapter 3. Look at it.

Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.

Art

Man, I’ve been doing a lot of artwork recently, and by a lot, I don’t mean that I’ve finished any.

I think I’ve been focused on developing my actual drawing skills rather than making finished illustrations, because I’ve been so overwhelmed with inspiration and I’ve wanted to try out drawing a bunch of different motives, so my mind is on a lot of different art projects at once, and I’m making baby steps of progress on each of them because I just wanna do everything lmao. I should probably take a step back and settle on one thing at a time, but at the same time, I feel like this is working for me because I’m so inspired and motivated and super excited for every single art piece; I don’t feel myself losing interest in any of them, in fact I just feel like my switching between different artworks keeps every piece fresh and interesting for me, yanno?

So here’s one thing that I’ve been slowly chipping away at for the past few months. I’m drawing a full body group picture of my main cast from Renaissance!

I’ve drawn the anatomy sketches of all the male characters (though I’m debating whether I should add some others), and now I’m adding the female characters one by one, so these are not all of the characters yet. But man, I just love seeing the characters side by side? The variety in their body language, body types and heights is just so interesting to look at, and it’ll be even better once I get around to actually adding their facial features, expressions, hair, attire, and then colouring them as well omg! I’m a sucker for this kind of thing, blame it on @juliajm15 and her amazing diverse character designs.

It’s gonna be a huge picture with a lot of characters, and I’m stoked for it!! This is a piece which I hope I’ll be able to show ya’ll the progress of bit by bit in every few updates. (also, if you feel somewhat familiar with some of my characters, you’re welcome to make guesses at who’s who (; )

Another project I’m working on is making official character portraits of my main cast (and possibly minor characters as well). I just think it’s nice to have official portraits as reference for anyone who’d like to see what the characters look like, and also for myself for whenever I need to refresh the specific features and expression of each character. It’s just a nice thing that satiates my very Type A personality lmao!

So the characters above are Owen Wright (to the left) , Daniel’s puppy bff with the fluffy hair, and then from left to right I’m colouring the portraits of the Armstrong siblings: Caleb, Caitlyn and Tristan. Their dad is a duke! n.n Caleb is the oldest, Caitlyn the youngest, and Tristan is the bland middle child. He’s a little brat LOL but I still love him.

Also, due to this glorious reference I found, I finally figured out how to draw Daniel. Bless this model, I never knew I wanted Daniel to have big puffy lips, but apparently I do.

He looks actually nice now? Which is nice? I’m amazed. Also his hair? I can never draw his hair, but this looks nice so yay? Also, I dunno why I never draw clothes on him, I guess I’m just lazy lol, but he’s gonna need to wear clothes for the official character portrait soooo... That’s a thing I’m gonna have to do.

Now that I’ve figured out his features, it’s gonna be fun to remodel all his family members accordingly. I sense that he’ll have gotten those cute puffy lips from his mum meheheheh.

I also did some Disney fanart of my two favourite Disney ladies; Esmeralda and Kida <3

I actually never really draw fanart any more, it’s been yeeeaaaars since I did, and when I used to do it, I was always very particular about staying as true to the original art style as possible. But now that I’ve spent the past couple years focusing on developing my own art style, I actually decided not to care about that so much and just draw the characters the way I’m used to drawing my own, and lo and behold - it looks pretty accurate to the Disney style?? I assumed that the characters would end up looking very different, but other than the eyes being smaller I feel like they look the exact same lmao. It’s interesting to me, because even when I used to do fanart, I usually did so of Japanese art and manga, not of Disney or any other western art. Also, I don’t consider my own style very Disney, but it pleases me a lot that the characters look so much like themselves even in my art style! The most important thing to me is to capture the essence of the character anyway, so any fan can recognise the character they love so much n.n

So that’s about it for this round! I’ve been working on other things as well, but I’d rather not disclose them to the public just yet - perhaps later, when I’ve made more progress, or (gasp!) actually finished something!! Bahahah, with the many things I’m working on, hell will freeze over before that day comes. *cries*

Youtube

I’m adding this Youtube section because, in addition to writing and doing artwork, I also like to record vocal covers (mainly of kpop songs, but I’ll do anything I’m in the mood for at any given point), aaaaand as of today I'm gonna be uploading speedpaints as well! Which is probably good since I don’t upload my covers nearly as often as I finish them lmao.

I’ve not uploaded any new covers recently (though I really should, I do have some covers lying around on my laptop mwerp), but I’m gonna list a couple of my favourite covers I have on my channel here so you can take a listen if you’d like!

And today I uploaded my very first speedpaint to my channel, so check that out if you’re interested in that sort of stuff! It’s the process of my Christmas portrait piece for Serena. I aim to be more consistent with uploads since I have a few unedited recordings lying around, so keep an eye out for that!

If you’ve read this far, thank you for sticking around and taking a look at my work, even if it’s only in WIP form. I wanted to start doing these updates because I’ve been watching my friends do them for a long time, and I always love reading their writing updates; they motivate me so much to get working on my own stuff, and I just wanna be able to perhaps do something similar for anyone else who’s watching me out there. So thank you sincerely to @coffeeandcalligraphy, @sarahkelsiwrites and @shaelinwrites for sharing your process with the world and being such an inspiration to me and many others, I love seeing you all make progress on your own projects <3

So that was all for this round, I hope you guys enjoyed a little sneak peek into what I’ve been working on! Until next time, folks!