#it ruined me in a way it shouldnt
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thinking about utahimes forehead...
#ooc.#just kidding im thinking of her scar. how unique and interesting of me.#describing it as not a “cataclysmic” event but just something she ended up carrying with her work....#it ruined me in a way it shouldnt#esp with how scars are viewed on women. whatever it was didnt have to be so permanent but it did and it cost her more than it should#even tho contrary to the scar she definitely won that fight. ik its obvious but it needs to be said!#oh to write an analysis on each of my jjk muses and their relation w/ the hierarchy of power and patriarchy#that is in the world...the traditions and how they digest them (or completely disregard them)#utahime seems contradictory. i can definitely see her be that positive influence for the girls she teaches. shes definitely not someone#to explain the shit way the world works and convinces the younger gen to just take it bc thats how its always been.#but also?? to wear the traditional miko attire??? its smthn thats dear to her. whether its thru personal means or for the sake of#upholding familial traditions. which. to carry something that has existed before u were ever imagined. before ur parents were.#that is smthn so strong and intimate so she holds specific traditions close (maybe her own family. not necessarily jjk society as a whole?#but then again i doubt her family is exempt from its prejudice..)#wtf was my main point.#she strives to better the next generation. but shes already stuck in this mold. her role was crafted for her and she is still#trying to break herself out.#those are my late night uta thoughts i might change this entire view later on but i wanted to focus on. um. not maki for two seconds..#can u believe that?? not focus on maki.....unbelievable of me.#its a battle to keep the life of tradition alive and pick apart the mold that has spread over time#oh the experience of living in such a culturally vibrant style that the lines blur. what is what and who do i believe#HER TECHNIQUE BEING A RITUAL DANCE FUCKCFUCKCUFKC
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Ages ago, I promised a sequel to my Ruthlessness sketches with my new Poseidon design, and well... See, I had a very specific vision for this, my beloved 🫶 favorite song in the whole entire musical. And I guess I was finally brave en- I mean, found the time to bring it to life. Enjoy 🙈🌊🔱
@glisten-inthedark look at what I've done now
#epic the musical#own art#epic the vengeance saga#epic poseidon#epic odysseus#get in the water#Look at him he's still so ✨extra✨#cw suggestive#cw nudity#at least i guess kinda?? nothing is technically visible but#guys i cant be the only one to whom this song has very VERY strikingly h*rny undertones#it's not just steven's suddenly quite sultry voice either#just think about how this is essentially “get into the water - which I control entirely - with me :)”#poseidon's trying to make him submit himself to him it's another power game#but this time it's so much more intimate#i mean the whole of get in the hundred strike is about brutal intimacy so i shouldnt be surprised ig#me omw to ruin this song for y'all forever i guess#just if you think about the implications what killing him in this way—drowning him—might entail before he would actually die#complete control and envelopment ... you have imaginations guys#use them to follow this train of thought further in this direction and you will realize#my guy could literally just impale him with his trident or sth#but nope—“drown. Get into my domain. Get into (an extension of) me. Submit your whole being to me. let me envelope you wholly."#or “grant me a moment of total control over you before i end your life just in the way that I imagine and see fit”#this is made so much funnier by the fact that poseidon completely fails to make odysseus submit in any way#and ends up submitting himself#yes i am doing 600 strike doodles next i shall have fun#i guess i should tag this even though this is genuinely not ship art just a part of the power game and poseidon's general h*rniness#odyseidon#poseidon x odysseus#odysseus x poseidon
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The last thing I'll say, and I'm saying it because it applies broadly- is that there is very rarely a perfect victim OR evil mastermind and everyone needs to get better at recognizing and responding to that fact. Victims of legitimate crimes or horrible acts can be aggressive, or bitter, or biased or a dozen things that make them 'unappealing' to listen too. They can have willfully exposed themselves to content or been in circles they really shouldn't have. They could have been given warning signs that they missed or outright ignored. They might exaggerate or misremember their claims. That does not mean they are no longer victims. If you completely missed the red flags and were taken advantage of- you were still taken advantage of. If you exposed yourself to harmful content that was upsetting or distressing, you were ultimately still exposed to harmful content. Maybe it is "your fault" for being there, but you were still there and it still happened. Especially in terms of online, its just shockingly very easy to end up in places where you are in danger of harm- and its shockingly easy to not notice that you may have put yourself in that position until its too late. If you want to be supportive of victims, you need to recognize that very often victims did things that were inappropriate themselves, put themselves in harmful situations, didn't back out when they should have, missed "obvious" signs... and are still a victim in the end. Likewise, abuse ranges from the intentional to the neglectful. Sometimes an abuser can even do both at once. People do harmful things completely on accident- even repeatedly. It can be mental illness or stress, it can be a dozen things- but yes sometimes people have patterns of behavior that are harmful and destructive that they either aren't aware of, in denial of, or don't get how bad they are about it. That does not erase the harm those behaviors cause. If you handle a situation poorly, it could just be that you handled it poorly- you didn't think through your actions or their implications. But from the receiving end, it doesn't matter how accidental it was, its going to often read as intentional, or a pattern, or whatever. And ultimately the harm is still done regardless of what it was. There is a world of difference between harm done intentionally and harm done through stupidity, neglect, or plain old mistake- but it not always easy to identify which is which- and harm is still done in the end. Sometimes people are harmed because someone saw an opportunity to do so, and sometimes they're harmed because no one stopped to question if it was even a risk. Both of those still ultimately result in someone getting hurt. The point of this is that if you are ever going to analyze situations critically you can not be looking for just "the good one" and "the bad one". You can't just weigh initial impressions on a scale and hope one side tips further and call it a day. Believing victims doesn't mean you need to throw caution to the wind, but likewise bad actors or misinformation doesn't mean your reaction should be that there couldn't possibly be victims. Be very mindful of how you interact in situations where someone was potentially hurt. Being 'critical' can easily boil over into disregard for harm- both the harm the involved might have done to each other and the harm you yourself do in how you respond to it.
#t.extpost#drama#i guess.#sorry i dont really want to talk to much about drama but#it was rubbing on me to see people act like whichever side they decided was in the right meant nothing bad ever happened to the other#sometimes everyone fucks up and everyone gets hurt in different ways!#even in situations where there IS a victim and clear undeniable abuser there is sometimes going to be victims who just look like the asshol#and theyre still going to have been the one hurt#and actual real abusers will use that to their advantage by going hey look at what an ass they are#othertimes people will be manipulative and awful and its mental illness and not evil. it doesn't erase the harm they cause through their#manipulation or by how they act but it does mean they didnt have a four year plan on how to ruin someones life#and probably shouldnt be treated or assumed as such. even if never forgiven for how they acted#looking only for evil masterminds also gives people an outlet to brush off the real issues with their behaviors#tdlr theres no easy answers to how to deal with these kind of things but we also cant pretend like the only thing we can do#is to pretend like theres never problematic people who are actively dangerous in their communities
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DATV Spoilers Just in Case!) I’ve seen a head canon floating around that when solas puts a mage!Rook in the regret prison, it tranquilizes them. What do you think Viago’s reaction to this happening to a Crow!Rook would be?
i think there's a small terrible part of viago that instinctively thinks it was a bad investment/solution to send rook off with varric, since he's lost one of his best assassins. and then of course he hates that this is his first reaction because rook is more than that to him, but he's been conditioned by their lives to worry about his power and the mission first. and then i think he throws himself into trying to prove that he is a better man than that by finding a cure, without being obvious about it, even if his worry actually makes him messier and obvious. a similar outward reaction to what i've seen people headcanon about how he feels when he gets the news that rook is stuck in the fade trap in general (anger, determination, frustration, etc)
the idea of viago as a man who clings to "i rose to this rank for a reason, above the other crows. i'm a killer but with my poisons, i'm cleaner. i'm royalty. i'm better." is so beautiful to me. who he wants by his side/publically allies with is made more interesting to me for that reason. rook and teia make a very short list, so for him to lose either of them (especially to a fate worse than death. like i know there's a cure but i'm not sure if that's common knowledge and it has rammys bro) will inevitably cause a crash out the likes of which thedas may have never seen before <3
#tho also i have no fucking clue. i love viago and his high strung freakish tendencies#but a lot of this is just me thinking of viago and not necessarily this specific ask. sorry anon#there are other people on here with a better grasp on vi#and i plan to keep it this way because the moment i have to think of him as a mentor figure#it pollutes my vision board for him. LOL#i don't think i'll ever play a de riva rook because i'll ruin my own experiment#this is my control variable. it's a wildlife documentary…#just because the baby crow is about to be cannibalised doesn't mean i'm going to stop it from happening#sorry. i know i said all that and im now saying 'but idk' but its true#my understanding of viago i think is mixed at best. i have not read the comics he is in and#8 little talons is very much a high stakes scenario where he hates literally everything thats happening#so that might not be a perfect judge of character. ive never seen this guy relaxed ever#tho saying this. this is probably his default state LOL#viago de riva#txt#anonymous#answered#it just feels a bit weird for me to enjoy 'the crows are morally grey' but then be like 'not my favorite talon viago tho'#i think viago should mistreat rook. for my sake. but then i would feel weird. which is why i shouldnt speak on it#i cannot be an unbiased party LOL. like im not saying he /directly/ abused rook#because i think w his age and timelines it just wouldnt be him. but i also dont think he's fucking speaking up and going#'NO MORE CORPORAL PUNISHMENT! I'LL PROTECT YOU ROOK!'#like be serious. thats a grown man near the top of the hierarchy. just another crow so used to abuse#and double crossing and violence that he takes it as a normal and given for his life/world#which obviously. like. creates issues in his personal life. whether thats with teia or with rook. lmfao.#especially with a guy this paranoid. he just strikes me as the guy to intentionally hurt rook so others dont recognise his weakness#'they need to see me punish you so that they won't kill you' <- totally normal thought to have viago you're so normal
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“ if i died in the middle of a frozen night, would you feel alright? would you be alright? ”
a
hey guys………, ugghhhh me trying to listen to Stay Behind, Dirty Town, Arms Tonite (OH MY GOODDDDDDDD. THAT ONE.), Back To Life, and Burning Pile trying not to think about either of them (and failing (MISERABLY)) why are they so wet dogs core. doomed yaouri. oHH MY GOD BOTTOM BY MCCAFFEETY JUST STARTED PLAYING AS I WAS WRITING THIS IM GONNA FUCKING SCR EA,MMMMM???? “hey man i miss your collar bones i miss the way your skin feels on my collar bones” i might be unwell about this. they make me sixk disgusting little. little tthings.. /aff
reblogs over likes please !
( all intended ship but can be platonic ::} )
#inanimate insanity#ii osc#osc ii#osc#object show community#ii taco#inanimate insanity taco#taco ii#taco inanimate insanity#ii pickle#inanimate insanity pickle#pickle ii#pickle inanimate insanity#paco#ii paco#paco ii#ignore that she has no actual eyes#no matter how hard i tried the eyes wouldnt look right so youre stuck with this#doomed yaouri#also losten to hoodie by hey violet and think about taco please it will either ruin you or fix all of your issues#probably not the latter because it breaks me every time#ummmmmm wheres loveableliquid#theyve been the one ive been yelling about paco with the past few days#honorable mention to loveableliquid btw#i stayed up until 3 in the morning to draw this by the way#it shouldnt have taken that long but the skirt was fucking torturing me#this was really fun to draw though#why did i start yapping so hard in the tags why am i so waffling core#im still doing it#this is what being a season 1 taco fictive does guys
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i tag dlc spoilers but i dont bother filtering them myself because I like seeing little morsels of what ive got ahead of me on the dash tbh ^u^
#i almost never filter spoilers for stuff in general. like. either ill see it eventually anyways or i wont either way its fine by me#i hear theres a scary forest where you have to hide. i want to find it sooooo bad i LOVE to be afraid#im currently slightly lost in the shadow keep. like i found the ruins of rauh but then hit a dead end sorta#now i doubled back and entered thru the church district and im there now trying to progress despite falling into the water many times#i really shouldnt play this stoned. my combat ability and sense of wonder are improved while high but i get so lost lol#shadow of the erdtree spoilers#haley plays elden ring
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MAN i hope my fc's server opens up tomorrow i'm tired of crystal players :)
#i want to MOOOOOOVE and stop dealing with dps who wanna tank without being tanks#me: oh main scenario will be a nice relaxing way to ease my way back into my tank buttons#the dps: you thought#yoshi talks#(i know this is a thing on every dc i just see it way less on the other dc LOL) (crystal players are just annoying)#melee dps in particular shouldnt be annoying to tanks because i can ruin your damage output dude. i can make u look so bad at the game
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'yeah its np, I don't care!'
fifteen minutes of quietly sobbing into my pillow later: 'okay. so I decidedly do care'
#mini vent incoming...#lowkey guys#i am gonna throw up#i feel so ill#i literally feel like my life is crashing around me suddenly in the span of a day#but i know im very much overreacting and im honestly the only one at fault if even - i dont even think anyones at fault but-#- i feel so irrationally angry and betrayed i feel like a poisoned shard of glass has been dug all the way into my stomach#nobodys even at fault!!! i asked!! i shouldve kept my mouth the fuck shut i feel so stupid i wish i didnt know what i do now#bpd is bpding rn#one of my closest fucking friends wants to fuck my fp that he knows im still practically in love with#but hes so nice about it hes not persuing him because he knows im involved#and i shouldnt feel insecure because me and my fp are really close still#but im not his fucking boyfriend so i dont get to tell him who to fuck and who to hold hands with and who to want and what to do i feel sick#he can do what he wants its meant to be casual and just friends who fuck and i dont wanna ruin it its so fragile but i feel so sick#both of them are so nice about it#but i still feel like im about to throw up#im so tired this is so stupid im making a big thing out of nothing so i wish my stupid brain could get past the stupid disorder-#-that is telling me that i need to blow up everyone in my life and then kill myself#erm#sorry gang#pretty long vent actually#bpd stuff
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getting out of my bed is ALWAYS a mistake <3
#give them an inch they'll take a mile#they always have to ruin everything#i just have to start the topic of ''uh so about dinner...'' and instead of perhaps. supposing.#that their kid struggling w various eating disorders might be already kinda stressed about the whole thing#they just go ooooooh yeah why not dine out tonight#FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU#why have you completely stopped giving a single flying shit about what might be difficult for me#the very second i started being able to control the VISIBLE UNSTOPPABLE PANIC#why does something have to be litterally the end of the world for me for you to fucking care for once#why is this the only way to have quality time with my own goddamn parents. mandated enabled binge sesh.#I KNOW IM THE PROBLEM#TRUST ME I CANNOT WAIT UNTIL WE GET OUT OF EACH OTHERS LIVES EITHER#BUT IN THE MEANTIME YOU COULD FUCKING TRY TO NOT TRAP ME INTO IMPROMPTU TORTURE SESSIONS#LESS THAN SIX MONTHS BEFORE IM OUT OF YOUR HAIR FOREVER HOPEFULLY#YOU SIGNED UP TO MAKE SOME SACRIFICES WHEN YOU HAD A KID CMON DONT GIVE UP NOW#im. god. i know i shouldnt hate them for that. they do make sacrifices and efforts.#just entierly the wrong sacrifices and efforts that don't ever fucking help#they're full of love but goddamn are they awful at raising a child#broadcasting my misery#vent
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bedtime nowww probably ummm today qas not what i wanted it 2 be but its fine. i dont feel negative just a very very very numb day which is almost worse. but only almost 🙏
#i did get thr laundry done didnt fold it didnt take a shower#so thatll hopefuly be tmrw#i hope im able to do an activity with somebody tmrw.... the kids will be back at school so umm. no risk of weeman asking for my laptop in#the morning. or maybe me n lamp could play aa... idk#i feel like such a loser i go 1 day without bothering my family and im like wahhh im lonely. Can you shut up ..... we r better than this.#but wtvr. thats also a mean thought and i shouldnt be idolizing the way i lived last year. We were taking spongebaths and eating#1 bowl of soup a day crying ourselves to sleep every night and literally going weeks on end wo talking to our loved ones. so why am i like#We need to go back ! well i know why its bc i cant just let myself heal and move on bc of my stupid complex#and tbf i was very efficient back then. i ws able to do my spongebaths at least every 3 days and i did my laundry every week right on#schedule and i had a job....all it took was literally not being a person in any meaningful way FJFNGJGN. idk#it was very simple. its still very simple perhaps simpler (#no job) but instead i just feel guilty i guess. sbt everything#which i ws doing last year but again i was too out of it to rly dwell. i just cried at work a lot abt it#but now its like. i dont have a job to go to to focus on. my interests/hobbies can only distract me for a few days maximum b4 they become#nothing 2 me. and then im just back in limbo again and it feels pointless#and even when its a 'good' phase of something actually keeping me distracted from everything its like. not. all it does is ruin my sleep#schedule again yk. ik im literally the timeloop guy so u think id loveee Everyday being exactly the same over and over and over but well i#dont. bc they arent actually the same day theyre just reminders that everything does keep fucking going but im stuck. which is the opposite#of what i want. and what id have if the beautiful timeloop would simply rescue me. wtvr tho.... she doesnt even know i exist 😥#little joke. IDK. like i said its better ig than having a truly miserable day but. man. i wish everything was better#i ws gonna say like it used to be but. yk. ive been depressed since i was like 7 its not like. idk. i wish i was born different and i wish#my head worked and i wish none of it had evrr happened. but itis ok. i cant think of a funny cutesy alternative to put here so we will just#say nothing. yay
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GAAHAHHHHH
#venting in the tags#maybe its just past darkness and the Bad Thoughts which i shouldnt listen to are clouding my brain too much#but i feel so fucking weird and inadequate over everything rn#im unable to work on drawings as i usually would have and its kinda plaguing everything which it should like yeah i love drawing but#i cant let just one aspect of me ruin everything. right? the fact that i havent been able to draw as well as i usually can should make me#feel sick to the stomach and unsure about everything i do but it happening and i hate it.#plus i got the ipad id saved up from the comms to buy and its fun and nice and all and maybe i just need more practice with it but i feel#like im not able to draw on it even more? and i spent the whole day trying to get used to it but its just not as good?? and then when i went#back to the no screen wacom i couldnt get a hang of it becuase idek its just not happening#and also the fucking art block wants me dead i swear i want to draw so bad and i have so many ideas but the moment i start anything its just#crumbles down into nothingness and i hate everything i do and gods fuck i want to cry but i can because there are people at home and#usually im a big 'crybaby' when im at home but i dont fucjing wanna be like that anymore like i can handly my shit myself im fine.#i dont need to just fuckinf cry abiut it becuase thats not gonna fox anything but also i feel like crying might just make me feel better#but then id have to hear shit from my family and i know theyre just teasing in a /pos way but i dont wanna fucking deal with that#plus my brother iust talking to him os annoying sometimes like he talks about things so condescendingly and fucking hel dude shut#the fuck up i dont need you telling me that my art is something people can 'just do' and the fact that i was able to get the ipad#'basically for free since i got that money from the little drawings i make' as if they dont fucking mean anything to you like#shut the fucking fuck up dude i worked hard on those and even though i dont like my own shit sometimes i still fucking work hard on those#fuck you you bitch#i think a lot of things are just piling up and i need to sleep#tomorrow will be a new dawn and a fresh start and maybe ill hate myself less#ps. note to anyone reading the tags#im fine i just needed to yell out and express my frustration a bit. some sleep will help surely.
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Girl like. The reason he said "this is how it should be" and faced death with a smile....is cuz he wanted to die. For 2 years he sat there thinking he was worthless and deserved to die. If he hadn’t be shot, his death would’ve been suicide, he was fully planning to die in a gutter somewhere undetected. When saying "this is how it should be" hes literally saying "don’t cry because I’m dying, my death is a good thing actually because I fucking suck and you are better off without me". I don’t think that’s badass even slightly, it’s actually really sad and really shitty. Shinjiro is so convinced that he deserves to die and hates the idea of anyone giving a shit about him because he literally can’t wrap his mind around the idea that he will be missed when he’s gone, that his death is a bad thing actually. And his last words were meant to be comforting because he fully did not intend for anyone to be there when he died, he intended to die alone, so he says them as a reminder that he’s not worth crying over
Personally, if it were me, if I was holding my dying best friend in my arms who was deeply depressed and suicidal and he said "this is how it should be" uh. I wouldn’t admire him for it??? Like am I losing my mind when I say the way this game handles Shinji is bad or is anyone else seeing this too 😰
#its like okay listen i understand the basic math of any persona game they say things and everything they say is actually#very bad when you think about it for more than 3 seconds#like what theyre intending to do with the death of this character is be like oh no your sad friend dies tragically thats so saddddd#but that doesnt mean you cant live a wonderful life full of meaning you cant let grief consume you life is beautiful awagga#and i guess shinji is a specific character whos used cuz i guess its more tragic that he never realized he was worthy of life and shit#and i guess its also like ‘dont be like this guy who let grief consume him and then died you gotta Be Different’#which i dont. love. that last part cuz if you think about shinji and what led him down this road#its like. of course hes depressed! he accidentally killed a woman with a child when he was 16!#he himself is an orphan and he just made some other kid an orphan as well and it happened cuz his persona went out of control#which very much can translate to ‘this must mean im dangerous and can hurt everyone if im not kept under control’#so of course he isolated himself and believed he was evil and became suicidal like who wouldnt feel that way#like am i supposed to be mad he left sees and took drugs cuz uh while i dont think isolation or Evil Drug is good for his mental health#i dont think him continuing to fight in sees is something he can just easily do again given how he killed someone like he shouldnt have to#be a part of this thing anymore like how would he even safely get castor to not do that??? he cant kill more people on accident!#so yeah like using shinji as an example of bad coping mechanisms is already just. a big fucking oof to me like it just feels like the game#is saying he shouldve gotten over it and simply not be suicidal and stayed on the team. idk if thats the intent but uh it wouldnt faze me#cuz persona games are notoriously awful at writing characters who are traumatized and abused#but what makes everything even worse is how the game kinda like. acts like shinjis death is a stepping stone#like we’re supposed to use it as a wake up call and understand the stakes but keep going on anyways#and akihiko and Ken get. ‘great character development’ according to the game telling you they have now developed#but damn all akihiko is is just repressed he cries for 3 seconds and then is like I SHOULD MAN UP and then neglects a depressed child#shinjis dying words are words to live by now even though they piss me the fuck off like girl am i crazy HES FUCKING#HES TELLING ME NOT TO CRY OVER HIM BECAUSE HE SHOULD BE DEAD ACTUALLY AND THIS IS A GOOD THING ACTUALLY#like if the game wants us to still find meaning in life despite losing someone it just really hurts that shinji has to die for that to work#apparently. cuz the character i see myself in is shinji. not some perfect prettyboy who does everything perfectly and has 4 gfs#his death seems like a punishment for bad behavior. the bad behavior being of course depression and drug use. and im simply supposed to be#better than that if i want to live. and we dont get to form a connection with him cuz thats gayyyyy#and his death is like a NOBLE HEROIC SACRIFICE idk its just such bullshit to me i hate it so bad#how is killing a suicidal guy and then treating it as admirable that he said ‘this is how it should be’ supposed to make me feel#makes me feel sick personally and it ruins the entire game’s theme to me because its fucking shallow and the story is bad and im tired
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mfw. theres no actual point to my existence
#txt#i dont remember any of my childhood + i have no future that isnt just me looking after my brother and i always have to think of it so i#cant die anyways#and because of my crappy childhood (which i can barely remember) im unable to form healthy attachments anf have healthy relationships with#people i love and care about#and my sense of self and how i view otehrs is permenantly ruined and ill never be the same ill never be a kid#ill never get to be ok in the way i shouldve as a cjhild#i wasnt even safe online i was in a crpapy abusive friendship / relationship for a good few years and felt powerless and felt so much dread#and i got itno things i shouldnt have and no one saved me#or said anything#no one cared or did anything#no one treated me nicely#no one ever will#im doomed#im nt meant to be here#i wasnt meant to exist#i was supposed to be long gone forever ago#i shouldve fuckign died back in middle school like i hoped#mybe i shouldve gotten into a lousy car crash i dont know i dont want to be here#i have no purpose besides looking after my brother but tghats it#he shouldnve have been born i shouldnt have been born#my parwnts shouldve never married or gotten together or even met
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.
#the day was going so well until my mom decided to be mean to me for no reason in a piblic space where i was already feeling scared and over#stimulated. i wanted to try out the skateboards in decathlon but there were too many people and i got scared. and my mom suddenly said that#the skateboard that she was going to buy for me after/on my birthday. she had decided to buy now. since we were alr in theshop and i said no#way bec i hadnt decided which one i wanted yet and i was soo panicked. and then after some time when id calmed down a bit and was gonna try#to skate anyways she started questioning me abt when i planned on peacticing and where i was gonna do it and i obviously just started saying#things that i thought she would approve of. and then she told me i didnt have the time management skills or resolve to make it work. and she#just kept on passive aggressively bullying me until i just couldnt do it anymore and i told her i wanted go leave the store bc she was#spoiling the mood. and then she started bullying me louder and she told me to stop blaming her bc she was only asking me a question and she#didn't want to waste any more money on things that i wasnt gonna do even though ive wanted a skateboard for years now and have been actively#asking her for months. and i just lost my emergy and my appetite and i wanted to leave the mall and go home but insteaf she gook us to a#bagel place that ive been trying to get her to take us even though i felt like throwing up before we even left the mall and i told her i#didnt want to go there. and my brother even told her that she was ruining things for everyone. and he still ended up blaming me in the end.#but whatever. i kept getting flashbacks to insanely traumatic moments where shed yelled at or bullied me or cornered me or tried to#embarass me in public. and this is most likely my last year at home. and my last year of childhood. and its all going to be remembered in my#brain as underwhelming and depressing and mostly horrible. and im going to leave home and never cone back and my last year at home is going#to be just as shitty as every other year and ill just have to deal with that and try to build something good and new and kind when i leave#she shouldnt speak to her own children like this. she shouldnt be looking for reasons to make things miserable for me all the time like this#i should study. my head hurts. my entire body hurts so bad#delete later
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Took that silly "which Sandrock character are you" quiz
Got Qi
In a weird way, this does actually feel pretty accurate lol
But what do i do with this information?
#mtas#my time at sandrock#i guess i shouldnt be shocked right?#i have a whole nerdy ass theory about the data disks being the salvaged platters from ruined hard drives#and not dvds and cds like people joke about sometimes lol#and i too am also at my happiest when i can exist in such a way where i can lock myself inside all day and focus on my hobbies#too bad i have to go out and pretend to function in society to make a living lol#also would've been an astrophysicist in another life thanks to mass effect if it weren't for the fact that physics makes me want to die#in fairness though i probably wouldve loved it if i was taking it in an actual classroom set up to do all the experiments#and not just trying to make it work through an online class without the tools to actually do what i needed to do lol#anyway
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twitter(.)com/heykayadams/status/1686813346127896576
so THIS is the cause of diggs's beef with allen.... WE HAVE FOUND THE ANSWER !
diggs after refusing his gemini moonness then inputting his dob, time, and location into the zodiac finder analyzer website thing: omg JOSH can you BELIEVE we both share a GEMINI 🤯⁉️⁉️ that is CRAZY!!!! but i CANT be.. it HAS to be wrong!!!.. right? right? you're a gemini, you should know all about gemininess! it's crazy, right! right!! YOU KNOW GEMINIS, JOSH! YOU ARE GEMINI MAN!!!!
Josh, trying to deal with yet another miserable, heartwrenching playoff loss: idc
diggs:
Diggs:
hOW CAN YOU NOT CARE ABOUT zODIACS, i HATE you you STUPID FUCKING GEMINI!!!!!!!!!1!1!11!1!!1!!!!
#ugh this is sooooo gemini of himmm omgggg 🙄🙄🙄🙄#-- diggs on his hashtag savage sag (ittarius) burner twitter zodiac account with a billion followers#here comes the unnecessary devils advocate DIMWIT !!!!#ruining FUN where the scene shouldnt be and creating FUN where the scene shouldnt be#i HAAATE geminis!! I AM NOT A GEMINI!!!!!! i am self zodiacing as... a libra moon 🥰#and then diggs reposts a bunch of libra moon star sign stuff to his insta adding in 'OMG! that is soooo mee' to it in aesthetic font#milk with dinner is a no for me MAINLY BCS it's clear and u can see any backwash or cup residue in it#and i dont want that#milk is strictly breakfast or nighttime for me#it's either solo or no go!!! i do not like combining foods with milk!#if im drinking something to wash down#i dont want it to be smthin i actually enjoy BCS THEN THATS JUST WASTING!!! EITHER FOOD OR DRINK! ONE COVERS THE OTHER#while wasting BOTH!!!! nuh uh i drink that milk SEPARATE so i can ENJOY IT bcs i am#..i have a problem#im a bit of a freak with resources and efficiency sorry i grew up poor#but my gran gran loooves milk with dinner. she always suggests milk as a dinner option even when we're havin like.#chili. it's SO WACK like. is it a southern/farmer thing to drink milk with everything cus of rural stuff???#idk anyways offtopic this is hilarious and i love seeing the way the aries analyze things bcs they always think theyre right#but at least do some research..... that supports how they think theyre right and nothing beyond that it's so funny#they can only actually learn from making mistakes. it's like a curse. i love them#ted asks#diggs/allen
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