#and my sense of self and how i view otehrs is permenantly ruined and ill never be the same ill never be a kid
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mfw. theres no actual point to my existence
#txt#i dont remember any of my childhood + i have no future that isnt just me looking after my brother and i always have to think of it so i#cant die anyways#and because of my crappy childhood (which i can barely remember) im unable to form healthy attachments anf have healthy relationships with#people i love and care about#and my sense of self and how i view otehrs is permenantly ruined and ill never be the same ill never be a kid#ill never get to be ok in the way i shouldve as a cjhild#i wasnt even safe online i was in a crpapy abusive friendship / relationship for a good few years and felt powerless and felt so much dread#and i got itno things i shouldnt have and no one saved me#or said anything#no one cared or did anything#no one treated me nicely#no one ever will#im doomed#im nt meant to be here#i wasnt meant to exist#i was supposed to be long gone forever ago#i shouldve fuckign died back in middle school like i hoped#mybe i shouldve gotten into a lousy car crash i dont know i dont want to be here#i have no purpose besides looking after my brother but tghats it#he shouldnve have been born i shouldnt have been born#my parwnts shouldve never married or gotten together or even met
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