#it is just a statement of personal preference

[todaysbird]

just wondering but do you believe afabs not wanting to date trans women is transphobic? /gen i feel like afab people can be trans allies and support trans women and trans people in general while still having boundaries for what they do or dont feel comfortable with.

I’m not a trans woman so I don’t know if this question is for me. With that being said:

To my understanding, this is an overhyped issue that gets brought up a lot honestly just to further divide cis lesbians and trans women. I don’t see it as a common talking point outside of radfem/TERF blogs, because the reality is there are very few trans people insisting that cis people need to date them.

It is not transphobic to have preferences or to simply not be attracted to someone’s genitals. But I think blanket statements that you would NEVER date a trans person based on the virtue of them being trans is transphobic, yeah. You said ‘trans women’, but that gives us no information on what her genitals are, if she has had any surgeries, etc. there are many trans women with vaginas, so ‘I wouldn’t date someone because they have a penis’ doesn’t hold up well. At the end of the day, you cannot ‘tell’ with 100% accuracy who is and who is not trans; would you disqualify someone who looks like your expectation of a woman simply because of her different start in life?

I think you can also just have your preferences without loudly declaring untrue statements like “Lesbians who date trans women aren’t real lesbians”, which is where a lot of the infighting starts. If you personally can’t imagine yourself ever dating a trans person, regardless of their genitals, then…OK, but you don’t need to proclaim that everyone who DOES has somehow failed in their identity. I think there’s a misconception that trans people WANT transphobes to want them; we do not. Nobody is trying to ‘turn’ people who dislike trans people as a whole to dating trans people. We’re good. If you think trans people are bad as a whole, we can probably mutually exclude each other from our dating pools.

[daughter-of-lethe]

That's exactly what I am not doing, contrary to what you just did.

Look at the sentence structure of what Morrigan says: if you notice there's a full stop separating the two sentences. That's the function of the full stop: ending a sentence before starting another, just as in this case.

If the intention was to make it one whole sentence instead of two, a comma would have done the job, but there's a full stop, so the intention is that the two sentences are separate. Another proof of this is Cassian's reaction after this.

Again he didn't express agreement with Morrigan words, the truth is that she'd thrive there, but his opinion on it is “That’s exactly the sort of existence we’re trying to steer her away from.”

And that's not my interpretation (I didn't express my personal preference in here) that's just grammar, and the work of a careful editor.

You're saying that canonically he agrees with Morrigan, but if you look at the grammatical and textual analysis the text doesn't support your interpretation, he agrees just to the fact that Nesta would thrive there, but sees as an insult the first sentence.

Again the full stop is explanatory, regardless of my personal statement, (which is: you can keep saying I'm not right, but at least I don’t take the words of characters and put them in other mouths just to show that Elain must stay at the Night Court.)

I get that you might dislike him, but don't put words that he didn't said, in his mouth.

That's all. It has already taken too long and I have no intention of going on with this. Bye👋

“Elain doesn’t belong in the Night Court because Cassian said she looked bad in black” Cassian also said that Nesta would be better off thrown in the CoN so his opinions about where these sisters “belong” is meaningless to me.

[curedigiqueen]

In my opinion Precure is at its best when it incorporates the communities that the girls are protecting into it.

This of course stems all the way back from the original Futari wa. That shows main premise is "Ordinary days and people are important", and is by nature a normal slice of life whose drama is highlighted by the lengths Nagisa and Honoka go to protect it. As such, the girls have an extensive supporting cast, and the climatic battles often feature some level of emotional support by the supporting cast, even if they're not literally physically present. The girls are the vessels through whom humanities collective will to live is channeled. We spend our time witnessing this will within the people in the girls communities.

I've mentioned before how big a theme of community is in Fresh. There are a ton of minor side characters who make brief but frequent appearances to help flesh out this bustling city. In the end the girls reveal themselves to their community.

Princess and Heartcatch make great use of the victim of the week format to help build a strong supporting cast, understanding the motivations of these characters, who in turn help support the Cures in some way during the 11th hour.

This is part of what makes Happiness Charge and Doki Doki fall relatively flat to me. Their supporting casts aren't as fully developed. There's more one off victims. But there are still moments where this aspect shines, to me in Doki Doki in the involvement of the girl's families. The moment where Mana shouts her identity as Cure Heart is fantastic to me, I can practically see the gears turning in the family member's heads. The Oh Shit of it all.

While an identity reveal isn't a prerequisite for a strong sense of community it certainly contributes to the feelings. Both Futari wa's manage to have a strong sense of community, despite their final fights taking place when earth is reduced to a barren wasteland devoid of people, the fact they still take place on earth helps them make heavy use of the fact that despite being currently devoid of life these are places where there are meant to be life, and where life can exist again.

It's a big part of why while I love Suite, I feel it's objectively weaker than it's two predecessors despite mimicking them in so many aspects. In fact it's probably tied with the futari wa's for my favorite season. But I don't think it's nearly as good as it could be in part because of the lack of community compared to its predecessors. But what we do get of Kanon owns majority real estate in my heart. The entire town is so goddamn weird, and just down for whatever. If I could add an identity reveal to any season it'd be this one. I struggle to believe that no one in this town doesn't know (though that might be because they all are so oblivious). I'd take it away from Healin Good and Doki Doki if I had to and I love those seasons reveals.

Smile I feel is far more popular than Suite, and while I enjoy smile and think it's simplicity is to its strength it's really no surprise that the episode I care most about, more than 3/4 of the season combined, is the episode where Nao sort of kind of has an identity reveal. That's also partially because I just have a huge soft spot for kids. (Muse is my all time favorite. Go, make things worse you funky little messed up 9 year old. And I am probably one of the few people who actually LIKE the baby plotlines... which makes it honestly such an accomplishment that DeliPa got me to dislike their baby). But Smile has a lot of plots that are really self-contained to the main cast, and while I do enjoy how fleshed out the girls' families are the fact that they all turn into living rocks when the villains attack really makes them less interesting to me. Same with Tropical-Rouge, but Tropical-Rouge doesn't even fully flesh out any family that isn't Manatsu's.

Maho Tsukai and Star Twinkle both have fun main characters and worldbuilding, but the fact that, like Smile, the action and human town exist sort of separately from each other really keeps them from catching my attention. I want to like them. And I do. I just don't quite love them. I really love HiroSky's cures in particular, and adore the episodes where they are part of their communities, but do wish we had more of that.

And for what it's worth the miracle lights bring this sense of community into our reality, and they used to use the side cast to help illustrate this in the all star movies. It's great.

[trans-axolotl]

my gendered experience growing up as an intersex person was overwhelmingly defined by my responses and resistance to everything that got me labeled as a failure: failure to quickly get a gender assigned at birth, failure to go through a normal puberty and grow up into a woman, failure at meeting the standards for "complete womanhood" because of my intersex sex traits, and yet simultaneously failing to ever be acknowledged as a "real man" and being treated as a threat when I expressed I wanted to transition.

before i realized i was a man and came out as trans, the ways that girlhood was denied to me was very often humiliating and painful. locker rooms filled with other girls were a frequent source of shame. there were many big and small ways that i was told that my intersex body made me insufficient, incomplete, broken. i was forced onto estrogen, forced into shaving my body hair, and was constantly being told to change myself to better fit this mystical idea of a "normal woman." and even though I ultimately ended up becoming a man, the denial of girlhood was painful.

but i think that these things would have been even more difficult to navigate as an intersex girl if on top of everything I already said, i was having to cope with the denial of my girlhood while i was forced into boys locker rooms. if my doctors were forcing me onto testosterone hrt and refusing to even discuss estrogen, if all my legal paperwork had "M" on it and was a logistical nightmare to change, if every support group for my intersex variation labeled it as a "men's support group," if the LGBTQ community spaces i tried to join were misogynistic towards me often to the point of exile, if my self determination as an intersex girl was denied in most spaces of my life, and on and on and on. while listing all these things out i also don't want to make it seem like it's all about suffering and pain--so much of transition for me has been about joy in my self determination and how much it feels like a reclamation of autonomy to decide what I want my body and self to be like--i know this is an experience i share with so many of my trans intersex friends.

as an person who was AFAB, although there were many ways that trying to grow up as an intersex girl were a painful, logistical nightmare, many times and places that i was excluded from woman's spaces, etc. however, there was a simultaneous affirmation that i was right to strive for that in the first place. which is logic rooted in some fucked up compulsory dyadism, but also which would have made some things slightly easier or even possible at all if i had wanted to embrace being an intersex girl within this fucked up system.

pretty much every time i've seen people on tumblr talking about "afab transfems" in an intersex context, people seem happy to collapse these experiences and act like there's no meaningful distinction or point in distinguishing between different types of intersex embodiment. it seems incredibly extractive, to be perfectly honest with you--taking terms already used by a community to make meaning of their experiences and to expand and dilute that term enough that it means something pretty different than the original.

it's making me think about the concept of epistemic injustice, which is a term coined by Miranda Fricker to describe oppression related to knowledge, communication, and making meaning of the world. There's two subtypes of epistemic injustice: testimonial injustice and hermeneutical injustice. Testimonial injustice refers to the dynamic where marginalized people are labeled as not credible, excluded from conversations, and their testimony and knowledge is labeled as unreliable, even when they're the ones who are experts and have first hand experience of what people are talking about. (this is why i probably won't make this post rebloggable--i've noticed this pattern on tumblr many times where trans men speaking about transmisogyny get lots of notes and are given a lot of grace, where trans women are silenced, attacked for not having perfect wording, and otherwise delegitimized.)

the second type is called hermeneutical injustice. it describes how marginalized people are denied the right to make sense of the experiences in their own lives. this can look like preventing people from building community, terminology, a political understanding of themselves, and the interpretive resources needed to process how you live in the world.

this is a form of injustice that I think almost all intersex people are very familiar with--we are denied community and interpretive resources to the point that we're told we don't even exist, that intersex isn't a real word, and so many more examples that leave us isolated and with very few options for understanding what we're collectively experiencing. as an intersex person i really intimately understand how frustrating, confusing, and painful it is to not have words for your experiences, your identity, your life.

so it makes me really sad and pissed off when it seems like intersex people seem to be replicating this exact same type of epistemic injustice towards transfems and specifically towards intersex transfems. pretty much every time recently i see people talking about "afab transfems" they're doing so in a way that seems to deny that trans women even have the right to make sense of their own experiences in the world. there seems to be this mindset that these political frameworks, these interpretive resources that transfems have built up are just up for grabs for anyone. and then on top of that has come with it a lot of cruel, hateful language and direct attacks towards many intersex transfems who are facing so much harassment right now.

an important value to me is this idea of reciprocity as a foundation for solidarity. to me reciprocity means that we're prioritizing the ways we care for each other, we're thinking about how we can uplift each other, and we're watching out for extractive or exploitative patterns where one group is constantly expected to be in "solidarity" with another group without getting the same respect and care back toward them. i think that there could be so many ways that intersex people of all genders could share our overlapping experiences and actually be in true, meaningful solidarity with each other, but i barely ever actually see that happen on tumblr. and that pisses me off, because i do think that there's so much we have in common that we could celebrate and support each other with. i feel so much kinship with so, so many of my trans intersex friends, and ways where i see our lives converge. but i don't think that can happen in an environment where there's no acknowledgment of the ways that our experiences will sometimes (often) differ from each other, and the ways that we have unique needs.

another frustration i've had based on this most recent couple months of transmisogynistic intersex posting on tumblr is how intersex people have been mostly ignoring intersex community resources and devaluing the existing intersex terminology that people created to try to meet our needs. so much of what i've seen people describing on tumblr seems to really line up with the term ipsogender. Ipsogender is a term coined by an intersex sociologist Cary Gabriel Costello, and is used to describe intersex people whose gender matches the gender they were medically assigned at birth, but who might not feel like cis or trans fits them, might experience dysphoria, and who might feel like they've ended up transitioning medically or socially in some ways. this is a word that exists that an intersex person put time into coining because they wanted other intersex people to feel seen, embraced, and have ways of understanding themselves and communicating to others, and that's something that's super meaningful to me! and yet, i've rarely seen anyone reference it, and also seen multiple people making fun of it in other spaces online.

there's also intergender, which is another intersex specific gender term used to describe when your gender is inseparable from your intersex traits, and that your intersex identity is intertwined with your gender identity in some way. some people just identify as intergender, others use it as an adjective and exist as an intergender man or woman. intersex terminology like this is really important to me, especially because we're so often denied the right to make sense of our own experiences.

i think ultimately what i wanted to say with this post is just that when i think about intersex community, some of the most important values of intersex community for me are solidarity, care for each other, and affirming our right to define our own existence. and i don't think that can happen in a community where people are acting in extractive ways, harassing and attacking their fellow community members, and being dismissive of the realities of other intersex people's lives.

[utilitycaster]

I feel like a lot of people mistake comic relief or goofiness for lack of effort or caring by the creator, and that belies a real lack of understanding of like, writing and humor and art in general.

[stuck-in-the-box]

If you ask me, I think they can make their own decisions. They are their own individual person; after all they just dealed for it! And I'm afraid that there's nothing you can do about their choices...especially not now.

[As it speaks, its eyes are still trained upon Kik, watching for their reaction. Its grip on their hand is tight. Binding.]

[Kik belongs to Tinky now.]

[It isn't until it finishes this statement that it returns its gaze to Edwin, releasing Kik's hand.]

That being said, I'm still open to an arrangement with you. Just because Kath-

[It pauses, furrowing its brows in thought for a moment, before turning back to Kik.]

Where are my manners? I should probably ask you directly what you prefer to go by. You are my newest little toy after all!

{Kik had been sent specifically to try and find the Bastard's Box, and thus far they weren't having any luck. The teen had searched in Thrift Stores, Antique stores, gift shops-- anywhere they could imagine the trickster T'noy Karaxis would place a trap. Nothing.

They weren't even sure what their dad wanted it for, honestly. He was researching the Lords in Black, but what did the Box have to do with it? They sigh, looking over the shelves of the most recent antique store they were surveying in Hachetfield, bored out of their mind.}

[A small feeling, not unlike a nudge in the back of their mind, pulls their attention to a random shelf filled with a plethora of useless antique knick-knacks. In the back, hidden behind a row of random objects, is something brilliantly golden yellow. A cube. It somehow fits in, and yet looks strikingly out of place among everything that surrounds it. Somehow they know this is what they were searching for.]

[gray-doestheart]

Excuse that this is lettered badly and sketchy but I was thinking of Jancy and her potential feelings about ghosts

[mithliya]

its ok for you to prefer woc over white women (even though you yourself said racial preferences can be racist and problematic) and yet its not ok for white women to prefer being around white men that share our culture and manners......ah yes that makes sense

And reverse racism omg there is only racism not reverse racism tf

Reverse racism implies that you can only be racist towards one group of people which obviously isnt true

Anyway glad you are showing your true colors

did u really compare me preferring to date woc to you hating immigrants

[marsbotz]

i find it veryyyy very funny when ppl hate on theatre. and especially musical theatre. thats where all ur favs came from......

[comradeboyhalo]

I feel like part of an issue with q!bad ships is that he's the one making them worse in the relationship and enabling their worst habits but they are not doing the same back to him < /3 it should be mutual worsening

REALL bc if i see it one-sided, it just doesnt feel good? it doesnt feel fun and toxic it just feels sad and toxic? i like unhealthy relationships but for shipping i dont like these unhealthy relationships to be unbalanced, and majority of qbbh ships just end up with only him as the toxic one...which is of course evidenced by the fact that every ship without him is fluffy...

foolhalo is an example of a toxic dynamic that works for me cause it feels equal. yes, bad will terrorize foolish, and foolish wont do anything back, but also foolish keeps rejecting bad anytime he suggests theyre friends, so it makes bad just look desperate instead LOL. and foolish ofc wants bad to become evil because he thinks its fun, its not just bad whos the morally grey one. BUT foolhalo is also just one of those dynamics thats perfect the way it is in canon regardless of what happens.

[kenobihater]

me: awww YEAH this new fantasy book i bought sounds great!! the reviews are awesome and the synopsis really pulled me it! let's crack it open!

the book: *turns out to be written in first person pov*

me:

[shiranuigenma]

You’re so valid. “Daddy” and any pet names that infantilise reader, are what makes me click off. 🤢

What happened to cute simple sh*t like “My love.”

right??? like shit, i love me a power imbalance dynamic but 'yes sir' is way hotter to me than 'yes daddy'. like i'll happily headcanon characters as having the kink bc it fits but as a personal thing i think it's infantilizing and honestly a tad creepy? tho maybe that's bc the only person who's ever wanted me to call them that has young kids that call him daddy it just felt weird

and don't even get me started on the pet names like sweetheart, my love, beautiful/gorgeous/handsome/what have you. they're more fit for slower more tender smut/aftercare kinda stuff but it's still hot af. and if you're bored of it you can always learn it in another language! calling someone pet names in like spanish or gaelic is the sexiest thing ever end rant

[thedreadvampy]

hey fun thing. fun thing I'm experiencing lately. is that the case which every terf journo in the fucking UK is freaking themselves about FINALLY being able to put on the front page - trans woman convicted of rape sent to women's prison - is uhhhhhhhh. really close to home? emotionally? for me? and it's on every fucking newsstand????

(obviously transparent as fuck every time that everyone's suddenly so concerned about the wellbeing of women in prison when all the same publications are usually in the CRIMINAL SCUM PRISONS ARE TOO SOFT TRAIN but OKAY. OKAY. since you suddenly care so much about female prisoners shall we uhhhhh idk address the rate of sexual assaults by guards? police? other cisgender prisoners? maybe rethink the whole 'prison' thing as a whole? oh this is just about how you think trans women are scary again? cool. cool cool cool.)

[bylertruther]

sorry for being that guy but absolving a character of any and all flaws or accountability and ignoring the parts of canon that are proof that this character is (thankfully) complex and human aka capable of making mistakes and doing good and being smart in some ways and dumb in others and so on and so forth is just like. sorry but i always imagined that to be the most boring way to enjoy a character and yet.........................

[utilitycaster]

supremely correct take on orym. i feel like liam is trying to do a quieter sort of tragedy than what vax and caleb went through. fundamentally, orym’s grief is a very real grief that so many people go through—he lost his husband, and he has to navigate the world in the context of such a devastating absence, but also Will’s death was 6 years prior to canon. orym’s in the long term period of mourning, and it’s emotional and moving but fandom keeps painting Orym as a hopelessly tragic figure. and it sucks bc Liam is such a good player and actor and his characters have such fantastic depths and he’s SO GOOD at playing sorrow and loss but the side of effect of that is every character of his gets little meow meow’d and it makes me want to Scream because LAUDNA is THE LITTLEST OF MEOW MEOWS AT THAT TABLE but it’s fine

I think the most graceful way to answer this is that if you believe, even facetiously, that there is some kind of contest for most little meow meow in a show with an ensemble cast, that post about angst was directed to your address. The current response to Orym was a bit of a last straw, but the fandom response to Liam and to Marisha's characters cross-campaign, and notably to Laudna, was the build up.

[paprikamahomes]

I would be the BEST nfl wife like ppl already hate nfl wives by default because of the whole being a woman thing so I would literally be able to do anything. The power I would have. I want to walk around on all fours get super fucking high on rich ppl drugs and cannibalize his teammate on live TV like a wild dog ❤️