#is not happening babe

[ghost-of-you]

You ever wonder about the possible other parts of “the making of 5sos5”? Because that lives rent-free in my mind, along with “oh, love that guitar” when Bleach comes on

Honestly, I accepted is lost to the dropbox, right next to the slfl album, the mytt footage and the Ashton talks to Michael video.

[the-irrelevant-trumpeter]

this is possibly the funniest terf take i’ve ever seen. trans people, hate to tell you this but buying clothes is actually capitalist and you should stop /j.

[fantasticgothicpeachsludge]

Bernard: i lied. i don’t like sex. put your clothes back on babe and watch my power point presentation about What The Fuck Is Going On Between Batman And Twoface

Tim: …

[cutiesigh]

❤️🖤🩷

Wuthering Waves has taken over all of my free time recently, so here's a sketch of Scar!Ren I originally shared in da 14DWY Discord!!

[kittenscookie]

Currently thinking of omegaverse epic Au where Omega Odysseus is constantly fighting off his alpha suitors. My thought process is Penelope's a beta and it's common for omega kings to take a second spouse that can...well you get the picture. Anyway one day he's just trying to enjoy himself at the beach (skinny dipping in the tides) when a few of the suitors pull up like "Heeeeeeey~". So Odysseus finally snaps and says something along the lines of "The only alpha who could be worthy of an omega such as myself would be Poseidon!"

"Oh really~?"

Thunder rumbles above them, they all look up, and there sits Zeus on his throne of women shaped clouds (did I watch Neil Illustrators God Games animatic earlier, maybe). Looking smug and putting on his best bedroom eyes,

"What about Zeus, king of the gods~?"

Odysseus considers it for like 0.5 seconds, before swallowing nervously and essentially saying "I said what I said". Zeus is completely taken aback, absolutely dumbstruck as Poseidon finally busts from the sea, grabs Odysseus by the hips and basically goes "HA! Now fuck off jackass he's mine!"

[rythyme]

"please tell me the omegaverse show is another joke like the thai goncharov remake" my brother in christ the "goncharov remake" was real too

[erwinsvow]

an idea… rafe and shy reader having sex for the first time

everything's overwhelming with rafe, but this is particularly so. you thought you were completely ready for it, from the way you had handled everything else so well. in fact, rafe was the one taking things at the slowest pace possible, trying to make sure he didn’t pressure you into something you weren’t ready for.

you didn’t like it—thought he was trying to be something he’s not. he’s gentle with you but never like this, never to this extent. it must be a big deal then, sleeping with rafe, giving him your virginity, you finally decide, if he’s acting so differently about it.

in fact, you think you’ve been ready to give it up since you first started dating him. rafe brings it out of you, coaxes a different side of you out with gentle words and soft touches. you’re going mad over it. you can’t count the amount of times you’ve crawled into his lap at any given opportunity, anywhere the two of you are alone—his truck, the couch in your living room and at tannyhill, the hidden booth at the country club. you’re begging for it, not sure how much more obvious you can get.

you finally decide tonight’s the night—following a nice dinner with the two of you. you had spent extra long getting dressed up, a pretty white lingerie set on underneath your blue dress, all done up for rafe. finally back at tannyhill, entire body vibrating and tingling with excitement, you don’t wait another moment, crawling into rafe’s lap and kissing him hard. you take off your dress and rafe stops just for a second to take in how forward you’re being.

“hey,” he finally breathes against your lips, pulling away. “c’mon, you’re not ready for this.” 

“yes i am!” you whine, impatient and horny, feeling rafe get hard underneath you. you want him to be able to do all the things you know he wants to do, want them done to you. “i am, i am-” and you lean back to kiss him, ending up pinned underneath him before long.

he knows you’re not, but he plays along. you’re so wet already he doesn’t have to do much, but he makes you cum all over his fingers anyways, hoping it’ll satiate you.

“please, rafe,” you moan against his mouth, pushing in for another needy kiss. “wan’ it inside. please.” and he does know you, knows everything about you, but even he can’t resist when you say things like that.

you watch with big eyes while he lines himself up with your wet hole, hovering over you. you think you’re so ready, that three of rafe’s fingers inside you should be comparable to what you’re about to feel, that you’re more than prepared. your eyes squeeze shut when rafe pushes inside, all the air leaving your lungs. you try to moan out but it’s more of a gasp than anything else, one that rafe swallows into a kiss. 

your eyes get watery—it’s just habit. it hurts, too, because rafe is so much bigger than you expected. you bite your cheek, looking up at rafe through teary eyes and clasping a hand over your mouth—you don’t want to admit that he was right. 

“c’mon kid, give it up. y’not ready for this, i know you,” rafe says, leaning in close to your ear to whisper it quietly. he’s not even half-way inside you.

“i-i can take it,” you hiccup. you hate disappointing rafe.

and it’s not that he doesn’t want to—he does, desperately so, wants to fuck you within an inch of your sanity every time you walk into a room and look at him with your shy eyes and sweet smile. he wants to break you, wants you cumming on his dick until there’s nothing left in your head, no shyness left in your heart. but he wants it when you’re ready for it, not like this.

it only takes another minute, you finally admit you’re not ready, and rafe pulls out of you. you feel like crying, terribly sad and dejected, wishing you could just be normal for rafe for once, be what he wants. 

“stop,” he says, wiping away a stray tear. his arm rests over your stomach, trying to get you to lighten up. “when you’re ready for it, i’ll fuck you until you can’t think. s’just not today, kid.”

you finally agree when he says that, getting over it because you know without a doubt in your mind—rafe knows you better than you know yourself.

[incorrectagathaallalongquotes]

Stranger: Is that person annoying you?

Agatha, glances at Rio: Yes, but she’s my wife. I signed up for this.

[dreadfuldevotee]

I know Armand isn't going around mind wiping/ fabricating events in the interview, because if I were him and Bad Bitch #1 Louis De Pointe Du Lac failed to claim me infront of my own cult after 1.5 years of smashing on every surface known to man, Not only would I never admit that- but I'd erase it from his and the cult's memory and then smash my own head in until I forgot it too

[pigeon-princess]

The wizard with the constitution of a victorian orphan is still going strong in Curse of Strahd! The horrors of Barovia Valley are abundant but we endure.

[helmip]

✨🌸 cosmic calling 🌸✨

[mobius-m-mobius]

just your typical interrogation ✌️ Lokius Incorrect Quotes [13/∞]

[hyperfocusthusly]

I’m just thinking like did not a single one of Buck’s friends be like “hey man, you might have jumped the gun on that one, and there’s probably a reason he got freaked and bolted so maybe just talk to him about it?” (?????)

Where is Eddie “he doesn’t know you’re an idiot, you should call him” Diaz????

[shirecorn]

Tumblr keeps popping up to sell me ad free dashboard. But what it doesn't understand is that me and the ads have a sort of symbiosis at this point.

The guys from the fake gameplay trailers for a predatory mobile app are my blorbos

[talksaxy]

PAVEL PHOOM as BABE in PIT BABE THE SERIES EP. 3

[gunsatthaphan]

"I will let you know."