#like babe sorry to tell you this
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this is possibly the funniest terf take i’ve ever seen. trans people, hate to tell you this but buying clothes is actually capitalist and you should stop /j.
#like babe sorry to tell you this#but you also wear gender affirming clothes#also would love to know what world this person is living in#where there’s an infinite stream of gender affirming surgeries#bc like. that doesn’t happen.#anyway just found this hilarious#tw transphobes
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am i gonna put you in the book acknowledgements am i gonna be able to say your name without flinching am i ever gonna get a word in edgewise am i ever gonna recover the time i spent with you. computer virus kid; i arrived in your life already begging to be let in. somehow insecure i could even be your friend. like you had a line outside the door and we were all shifting our weight, begging.
you're so fucking good at that - at making people feel like they need to earn you, like you're a commodity none of us can afford. no kindness or careful communication could work on you - you were so good at just going-ghost, about deciding someone just wasn't cool-enough. something about that is super ironic. even the parts of it that weren't romantic felt like a romance book. i wanted you to like me so badly i scrubbed myself clean just so you'd spare me - what. your favor? a look?
okay okay okay. it's just a friendship - if it was even true that we were friends, if you even saw me as someone you trusted. on reddit someone would tell me girl literally just cut her out of your life, it's not that difficult. even i was aware of how fucked up the whole situation was. like, why the fuck do i even care about your approval? you're like, not even that fun to be around. you are often a little bit cruel.
but for almost four years of my life, i thought i had found someone like me. somebody who liked the same things i do. someone who liked to read and who liked making jokes with esoteric references and who spent maybe too much time on the internet and who was absolutely a little bit pretentious. i don't know, something about that was powerful and addictive.
i keep thinking about our last conversation. about how i said - okay, enough is enough. you pushed me too far, you really hurt my feelings.
and how you laughed and said - you think you're the victim?
#spilled ink#warm up#writeblr#she physically assaulted me and then screamed in my face#but not before sh'ing first and blaming it on me#while she was locked in my bathroom. at 1 in the morning#while i begged her to please just calm down and to try taking a deep breath and to go to sleep#and then she was like - ur just like my abuser#bc she had screamed in my face which was triggering to me and i froze like a deer in the headlights#and since i had shut down at that point evidently i was the problem child#i know she is out there telling our mutual friends i abandoned her and it makes me SO pissed off#like dude you spent so much fucking time forgiving & forgetting that your decrepit asshole of a boyfriend#pushed me down in the fucking hallway#but noooo hes <3 troubled <3 at 43 and divorced#bc according to you it's important that u don't '''see anyone as a monster''#but god forbid i not handle you SCREAMING IN MY FACE#i couldnt even get you to say sorry for crossing my original and only boundary you were like ''what did you want me to do''#babe i said 'the bf is not allowed around here he scares me and u said ur broken up with him'#that was the thing i wanted you to do: not fucking invite him to WHERE I LIVED#godddd typing this shit out and knowing it's only 2% of what actually happened makes me feel pathetic#i can't believe i let you treat me like that. you were a TERRIBLE friend.
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TOP TEN SMOSH DYNAMICS AS VOTED BY MY FOLLOWERS
→ 5: anthony & ian
" ian is kind of like the sun. where he’s just casting all these ideas, and i feel like i’m a magnifying glass that focuses and moves to create that fire. "
#smosh#ian hecox#anthony padilla#smoshedit#smosh gifs#gifs*#mine*#top10*#ianthony#smth smth they should have been in the club.....#also sorry that first gif is so crunchy but i REALLY wanted friendship always wins and. 2008 be like that.#also you may be thinking to yourself 'how on gods green earth are they THIS low????' and i will tell you i thought the same thing.#and then i realized: these are as voted by MY followers. nothing here is gonna make sense babes!
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I absolutely cannot sit down and write a nice version of this bc my brain says no, but i would like to let you all know I'm thinking of a fanfic where older Edgeworth is moving back to the US (or japan, whichever universe you subscribe to) and runs into Nick in the store while buying mass produced art to hang on the walls of his new house.
And Nick is like "dear god do you want your house to look like a dentist's office. Please do better" (in a friendly way, they are too old for rivalry at this point) and so Nick invites Edgeworth to come over and take any of his old artwork from college, since it is just sitting in a portfolio in a closet somewhere. And Edgeworth agrees to come over and look through Nick's old stuff together. There are themes of 1) growing older and like reflecting on the past and 2) Nick's character trait of finding meaning in challenges vs Edgeworth's tendency to stick with what he does well. In my head I imagine that Nick was good at art and it came somewhat easily to him and that bored him, and he was drawn to law in part because it was hard and it excited him and made him want to try harder. And i think tying that in with fatherhood, like it being unexpected and hard but something he thrives at because he feels good when there's a challenge. Potentially also touching on how like, when he lost his badge he felt very listless and depressed because he wasn't being challenged anymore, there wasn't anything to drive him and motivate him. And I think Edgeworth would be impressed by seeing Nick's old pieces (I assume he hasn't seen much of his art before) and wondering why he didn't choose to pursue art further. He also thinks about how art had always put him off personally because he couldn't get it "right" right away, and on the other hand how the structure and logic of law came easily to him, which led him to become a lawyer. I think he measures his self worth by his success in his field because he never had the support to believe he had intrinsic value as a person and maybe wasn't so good at making emotional connections with people. So that big contrast between them is so interesting... I think Edgeworth would be jealous of Nick's bravery in pursuing something he was bad at without giving up and Nick would be jealous of Edgeworth's success in law, but in a subdued way as they've grown older.
A far as actual scenes in the fic, I think I would use Nick's art as a conduit for my own agenda to have them talk about topics that are of interest to me... I would like Edgeworth to feel out of his depth for once and for nick to be the confident one as he talks about something he is well versed in, and for edgeworth to have to face that discomfort and also be a little impressed intellectually with Nick. I think I would do that by having them look through some abstract art Nick did (my intro painting classes were all abstract so we could focus on color mixing and getting comfortable with the medium). Edgeworth compliments Nick on a painting with a bunch of colored squares in gradient clusters and then gets embarrassed when Nick tells him those were just color mixing swatches. Alternatively, in my mind they are both asexual and I think even though this feels like a hallmark cliche I would have Edgeworth flounder and be very embarrassed over Nick's old figure drawing piece. I feel like Nick would be like "no you don't understand it's all very professional and normal when we draw them, like it's just about learning the shape language" and Edgeworth would be like "this is very improper and I don't know how to react can we please not look at naked people!". I don't think i would do both, but something to upset the power dynamic for a moment would be interesting! Nick is always the awkward one I want to see him shine for just a moment enough for edgeworth to go "wait what... i've known him for so long but perhaps i don't really know him at all..."
I would want Edgeworth to end up taking a series of 3 canvases Nick did in an oil painting class that were still lifes of objects the teacher had set up around the classroom. I headcanon that Nick actually far preferred drawing people to objects and rebelled against the assignment by hiding his reflection in one of the objects in each drawing- the top of his head is hidden in an ornament on a christmas tree, his eye is reflected in the shine of a china vase, etc. So it's a little secret, and Edgeworth kind of likes that... it is sweet in a way to see a much younger Phoenix captured in time like that. Something Edgeworth will be reminded of when he sees the paintings but nobody else will catch onto
I would want to layer this with a fatherhood storyline... I think i would frame it as nick inviting edgeworth over to dinner with him and Trucy and Edgeworth stepping into this domestic family life as a visitor and witnessing how its transformed Nick, like seeing him from a different lens. I think after they pick out paintings and have dinner they sit around talking. Trucy had been sitting with them, earlier she showed off some magic tricks and gave Edgeworth a picture of hers from the fridge to add to his new art collection (it's a rainbow dolphin and a sea turtle wearing top hats. Nick says she's in her Lisa Frank era). But she's been quiet for awhile and Nick realizes she's fallen asleep and it's like 11. He's like, crap, i screwed up i should've paid attention and gotten her put to bed, I'm a bad father and I have an audience for this failure. And on top of that, I already failed at being a lawyer, no matter what I try I always disappoint everyone. It's an unexpected moment of vulnerability there... like he's seemed so put together and grown up to Edgeworth this whole time like a whole different person, but he's not a different person he just has different sides to him. And this moment is one where edgeworth can be like hey, no, you're a great dad, and I'm impressed by you and everything you achieved. And I think that could lead into vulnerability from Edgeworth about his relationship with his dad and how he misses him/how he feels like he hasn't really been loved by anyone since his dad died, and how Trucy is lucky to have someone like Nick in her life.
Nick excuses himself to carry Trucy to bed and Miles starts cleaning up the kitchen. I would give a moments pause here to talk about the strange intimacy of going through someone else's kitchen cabinets and drawers, you feel like a stranger there trying to put yourself into someone else's shoes to understand how they live in this space. Maybe he guesses the right drawer for the silverware first try and he feels a little spark of connection. like "we are different in many ways but we are alike enough that we look in the same place for our spoons". Details on the kitchen too about the kid safe plastic bowls and knives that indicate a child is part of the household, that the household has been built around the child, in fact. Edgeworth lives alone and I imagine things are kind of fancy for him (he's a man who wears a cravat so he probably has fine china right). It's completely different from this shabby mismatched cutlery that Nick has, but this kitchen has personality. Maybe he wouldn't mind having a kitchen like this so much. This is a hint at him being lonely, being included in this family unit just for a day has given him this curious sense of longing, for what he isn't sure... does he want kids? Does he want Nick? Does he just want to be part of a family? These are confusing questions and he would much rather not feel anything at all, but unfortunately it is late and he did have a glass of wine with dinner so emotions are Happening.
He hears Nick sigh tiredly as he comes into the kitchen, and Edgeworth starts to ask him where his tupperware is when suddenly Nick is wrapping his arms around him and Edgeworth is Very Tense because he's never good at knowing how to act in situations like this and he and Nick have never been on a hugging level before and he's not sure what this is even for. Then Nick is like "I keep thinking about what you said earlier, about feeling alone ever since your dad passed away. I didn't know, that's such a long time to feel alone. I don't want you to think you're on your own". Edgeworth relaxes a little bit because now he knows what the hug is for and what he's supposed to feel from it. Its very kind of Nick to worry but its unnecessary and he says so. He has colleagues he's friendly with and people from law school he keeps in touch with, he's alright. And Nick says he knows but he also knows it's difficult living the way they do, and what he means is single and in your thirties. Because everyone else is getting married or living with a long term partner or at the very least dating and their lives are focused on that relationship as the center of their being. And when you don't have that, not only is it harder to relate to the people around you but it is harder to feel like you matter in people's lives, because they all prioritize their partner before their friends. And maybe their situations aren't exactly the same (Nick has a daughter while Edgeworth lives alone) and maybe their choices were made for different reasons (Nick used to date and didn't mind it but didn't see a need to prioritize it. Edgeworth found himself unable to distinguish with certainty whether or not he was actually romantically interested in people, and rather than make the wrong choice he decided he would rule out error by choosing no one at all). But regardless, they both know first hand the isolation that comes with trying to carve a path for themselves that does not include a life partner in a world where everyone else comes in pairs. And Nick is reaching out across that emptiness saying hey, we might both be building different lives, but there's room for you to be a part of mine if you want.
Outloud, Nick says "Really, Miles. You aren't alone in this." and Edgeworth says "Well, Phoenix, neither are you". And he stands there and lets his friend hug him, and it doesn't feel like butterflies but it does feel solid and warm and good. And he doesn't even worry about whether he's supposed to let go by now or not, because it's nice, not being alone.
They stand there in comfortable silence for a long moment before Nick speaks again. "hey, remember when you used to hate me? And look at us now." Edgeworth turns his head sharply. "I never HATED you, Wright. I simply thought you were foolish and a waste of my time." He realizes a little too late that this is probably a rude thing to say to the person that just gave you a pep talk, but Nick just laughs, his head still resting on Edgeworth's shoulder. Looking at him from this angle, face almost fully hidden, Nick could be any age at all. It's easy to imagine for a moment that he's the same nervous version of himself that stood across from him in the courtroom for the first time all those years ago. The only thing breaking the illusion is the subtle streaks of silver that cross his temples. Not entirely sure why he does it, Edgeworth kisses the top of Nick's head. He feels odd about it the moment he does so, realizing it comes across not as a platonic or romantic action but as a gesture suited for a dog or pet of some kind. Nick looks up, looking confused but not displeased. "What was that for?" "It was a thank you I suppose". Miles steps away now, still uncomfortable with perceived failures even if those failures are just in social interactions, and begins to gather his things while Nick gets down a tupperware from a cabinet. "Thank you, for the dinner and for the paintings." Edgeworth continues. "I'd like to repay the favor once I get settled into the new house. Trucy's invited too, of course". As he says it, he realizes he genuinely is looking forward to seeing them again. Nick walks him to the apartment door and they say their goodbyes while Edgeworth tucks the paintings (and Trucy's dolphin drawing) under his arm.
He gets halfway down the hallway when he hears Nick calling after him. "Hey! Miles! Take an art class with me sometime" Newfound friendship or not, Edgeworth just looks at him in disdain. "what, so you can show off your superior art skills? No thank you, Wright" "No, for fun. You can make things of your own to hang on your walls. We can do something I've never done before so we're evenly matched. Like printmaking? Origami? Um, pottery?" Edgeworth bristles at the suggestions but takes a moment to acknowledge why he's feeling that way; again, it's that fear of failure. But he's enjoyed himself today and deep down he thinks it could be fun to try something new, not with the goal of being perfect at it but with the goal of spending time together. Nick surprised him today. Maybe he can surprise himself. "... I would consider pottery" Edgeworth admits. And Nick looks really happy about it. "Great. I'll book us a session then. It'll be fun, you'll see. Edgeworth shakes his head, but there's no malice behind it. "Have a good night, Phoenix" "You too. Get home safe Miles".
Edgeworth gets home a little before midnight and props the three canvases against the moving boxes still stacked up in the foyer. Tomorrow, he'll figure out where he wants to hang them. Right now though, he walks over to the bare fridge and carefully pins up Tracy's dolphin drawing. There's a lot more work to do, but it's already starting to feel like home.
#are they in love? are they just pals? Queerplatonic? Babe i couldn't tell you but interpret it how you like xoxo#I have to call Miles “Edgeworth” because it feels like I'm overstepping to call him Miles#we aren't on a first name basis... we're professional colleagues at best#also if there are any canon breaking things i mentioned: I haven't played any of the apollo games i'm faking it so hard rn sorry <3#anywayyyy#ace attorney#phoenix wright#miles edgeworth#ace attorney fanfiction#wrightworth#narumitsu#also i do read miles edgeworth as neurodivergent bc Ummmm have you Seen him?#his inner child is a gifted kid that was socially awkward and pretended to be superior to everyone to cover up his feelings of inadequacy
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Akatsuki parents? Akatsuki parents.
because I like shoehorning my experiences into my ninja bullshit. Hope y'all enjoy my rambling. : )
Feat. Hidan, Kakuzu, Kisame, Itachi.
Hidan ends up a girl-dad, and a proud one at that, given your daughter is a complete fucking gremlin, just like him. An aggressive toddler that looks like a tiny little sweetheart, with chubby cheeks, gorgeous violet eyes framed by the prettiest eyelashes you'd ever seen, and hair that looks like a carbon copy of your own. Her little smiles are a mixed bag, and you never know whether to expect cute baby affection or chaos that no toddler her size should realistically be capable of bringing into existence.
Nobody expects it when she toddles on up, all tiny, squishy hands and 'awwww, hug?'s, only to turn on a dime and start biting, smacking, or pinching- all while wearing a huge grin that she must have inherited from her dad, or giggling like a squeaky hinge. Babysitters do not last, Hidan finds absolutely nothing more hilarious than seeing another one leave haggard and never pick up jobs from either of you again.
She's a natural climber, knows no fear, and loves nothing more than climbing up onto the back of the couch and waiting. 'Oh no, 'M stuck!' is a goddamn trap. It took a couple pint-sized ambushes, wherein she lunges, catches some serious air, and rams into you or Hidan at full force to learn that lesson. Your natural state becomes STRESSED. Hidan, on the other hand? Constantly entertained. That little girl can do literally no wrong, because, shit, she's just emulating her dad, obviously.
If it's possible for a toddler to be sarcastic, she is, and it's only ever when she's using her manners. One tiny little eyebrow cocked, a crooked smile and cooed, 'Oh, nooo. So-orry!' Hidan has literally cried from laughing so hard, until she turned it on him. One big, angry bitemark on his forearm later, and those tittering giggles and 'Uh-oh, you o'tay? Uh-oh!' felt just a little more irritating than when they were directed towards you. He's even less impressed when you're laughing right alongside your little devil-child.
Older kids tried, once, to pick on the little girl who laughed too loud and played too hard. Unfortunately for them, she's always had a set of lungs and knew damn well how to use them. One blood-chilling shriek- not because she's hurt, but because she knew he'd hear, and haha, there's dad. Big, fat crocodile tears, a quivering pout and squeaky, 'Oh, no!' and it was game on.
Hidan doesn't give a fuck how old a snot-nosed shithead might be, his bullying is indiscriminate and he's had far longer to refine his insults than they have. She's rarely bullied, because word spreads and it's hard for a kid to bounce back from such heated and targeted shit-talk, even harder to bounce back when they watch some whooping, laughing maniac beat the shit out of their dad for trying to step in. You were only slightly surprised, and a little concerned when your little gremlin laughed and squealed over the playground dad on dad beatdown.
Deidara drops by from time to time, and he seems to have as much fun wrangling your tiny little hellion as Hidan does. He doesn't mind the fact that she can be aggressively playful, and takes absolute delight in the way her eyes go wide and shine with awe when he shows off his art. She's fascinated by his hair, and you find some remarkable moments of quiet and peace when she's perched on the couch with him on the floor, her chubby fingers toying with and carding through the golden mane that's somehow smoother and shinier than silk. If he minds the fact that she essentially pets him like a cat, he certainly doesn't mention it. 'Awww! So sof', so sof'.' Between Deidara and Hidan's high energy capacity for mischief, his visits always end up with your daughter properly knackered, and mercifully tame for the rest of the day.
Kakuzu didn't want kids the same way a dad doesn't want the dog his kids inevitably end up bringing home. You two ended up with a daughter, and at some point, somehow, someway, he became begrudgingly attached and takes over everything surrounding that little baby. Maybe it was the fact that when he looks into her eyes, he sees a soft, sweet mirror of his own, moss-green eyes that haven't yet seen the horrors of the world and the awful things that wait within it. Either way, the most miniscule part of him that can still feel love does, and every ounce of it belongs to her. You have your share, but you know that his daughter put the moon and the stars in his sky again.
Your full-time job becomes raising her, the little lady that sees the world with his eyes and speaks remarkably well for a tiny toddler her age. There's not a snowball's chance in hell that he'd trust some random to watch over his girl. You're just lucky that she's an honest delight to raise, although that might be your own bias talking. Kakuzu does a lot of reading with her, and it's almost comical to see a man like him drawling and grumbling through a ten-paged book about a little pig's wild adventures in kindness.
When Kakuzu's balancing books in the evening and she can't sleep, she always seems to find her way to the kitchen table where the old bounty hunter is pouring over expenses and budgets. Tiny fingers count on an abacus while he counts stacks of green, and when he loses count because she's quietly chatting away to the walls and the table and his ears when they listen, he can't even find it in himself to be upset. Not when those pretty eyes turn their gaze to him and she bids her sweet 'uh oh, sorry papa'. For all his power, he can be weak in those moments that make his heart just a little happier.
Innocent, and unacquainted with the temper that almost defines him as a man, she isn't afraid of him, she isn't afraid of him, she isn't afraid of him. Never had she, nor will she ever bear witness to the ugly, vicious face of his short-fuse and hellfire wrath.
That sweet little girl is spoiled, and that's only because she never seems to ask for anything herself. So polite, for one so small. When little green eyes sparkle because they fell upon a pretty dress, a toy, a book that has her oohing and ahhing, a little cup that has a straw 'oh, wow!' and a cute little pig printed on the plastic 'ohh! a piggy! haha, oink oink!' - who is he to turn his head and leave it at that?
She could ask for the moon, and it would be all he could do to bid a slow, pensive nod and murmured assurance, 'It only sits in the sky for you.'
Hidan is a frequent and uninvited visitor, and while normally you'd find that to be cause for concern it's quickly proven pointless to worry given the fact that if Kakuzu isn't grouching him under control, your daughter has a hilarious talent for putting him in his place. Seeing the zealot sat on your couch, being prodded and chided by a girl less than half his size is certainly a sight to behold; hearing her tut and chastise him in a way she must have learned from her dad for putting his feet on the coffee table, shoes on the couch, or his drink on the side table without a coaster is absolutely hysterical. 'Stains are 'spensive! Feet down!'
Kakuzu's sweet little mini-me: breathes
Kakuzu:
Kisame takes on the dad role like he was born for it, after a small period of adjustment. You two end up having a boy and a girl, and he's practically putty in their little hands. Your boy is huge, had been since he was a baby - which is natural, Hoshigaki kids are just... big, generally. Your girl caught both of you off guard, only because she's so tiny. The sibling dynamic is chaos, but a warm one that always seems to leave Kisame cackling or grinning over something ridiculous those two end up getting into.
Your boy is like a walking clone of his dad, and even as a little boy he's already standing as tall as your ribs. Slate-blue hair as soft as cornsilk, teeth that make you grateful he was never a biter, and little gills bracketing his throat. Soft-spoken, a little shy outside of his parents, and constantly looking to wrestle and play. If you're doing something, he's a guaranteed little helper - he likes to help with cooking when you let him. If his baby sister is getting into trouble, he's either helping her do it to make sure she's safe, or he's the one carrying a kicking, griping toddler to one of you two to handle. Yeah, he's a bit of a narc- but it's always for a good cause. He's a fretful big brother.
Your girl is probably the most precious little baby you'd ever met, and Kisame is quite literally helpless against her doe-eyes and deceptively sweet, cheery little voice. Where her brother is quiet, she is loud; where he's happier to follow the rules and keep out of trouble, she's a born rule-breaker that finds boundaries just to test them. When you stumble upon her in the midst of some suspiciously quiet, pint-sized anarchy, she always manages to look surprised that you ever caught her in the first place. She looks like you, if you were knee-height and sporting tiny little daggers for teeth and gills on your cheekbones. Kisame blames you entirely for her gremlin personality.
Kisame does not discipline unless he needs to, because he feels awful when big, sweet baby eyes look at him with complete betrayal that he dared to tell them no, or stop them from pulling off some kind of crazy baby scheme that would make your hair grey from stress. Quivering pouts or teary eyes and he's gotta tap out.
Babysitters adore your kids when they behave, but Kisame vets any you hire thoroughly because he's more than a little protective of his babes. It's like they're each a half of his heart living outside his body and he honestly struggles to manage the overwhelming love and affection they pump into his veins every day. He could, and gladly would break fingers over something as minute as hurt feelings.
You hold the sole rights to discipline outside the house, too. If either of your ankle-biters act out their mischief in public, and someone tries to step up and throw in their two cents, Kisame's massive silhouette and mean, sawtooth grin are very effective deterrents.
Itachi is a semi-frequent visitor, and both of your children love him fiercely. You're half-convinced that he has some kind of Uchiha magnetism, given the fact that he'd won over not one, but three Hoshigaki by the sheer power of his quiet, soothing presence. Kisame takes great amusement in watching your little lady climb all over the poor man, and your son sidle up beside him with his favourite book to chat his ear off about the adventures that lay within it. Itachi, to his credit, never ever seems to mind the undivided attention of the lively gilled babes.
Kisame, and his pint-sized sidekick: getting into Hoshigaki-brand bullshit
You, with your sweet little chore buddy: > : ( no- one hundred times, no!
Kisame, and his tiny co-maker of mayhem: betrayed, bamboozled, and somehow? positively shocked that you found out
Itachi slips seamlessly into a domestic role, despite how long he'd been absent from one. Childrearing almost seems like his god-given purpose in life once he actually sets himself to it, and the second you two brought home your cooing, burbling baby it was on. He's happy, grateful to stay home and take care of your son, tend to the home and make your transition back to work as smooth of a process as possible.
It's an all-too common scene to come home and find the Uchiha at task in the kitchen, tending to a meal simmering on the stove while your squishy, pudgy-cheeked and sleepy eyed boy perched on his hip with a tenderness that makes your heart hurt. Even as a clumsy little toddler, he's never found very far from his dad. If Itachi is cleaning, there's his little mini-me, trying to help and earning gentle encouragement and a soft, fond smile for his efforts.
Honestly, your little guy is the most well-mannered, well-adjusted, well-spoken toddler you've ever met. He genuinely likes to help, to the point that it sometimes becomes a problem because he's very determined when there's any little problem set out in front of him. At the park, playing with other little babes, he's more concerned with making sure everyone's playing fair and playing safe than he is about actually having any fun himself. He's a bit of a worrywart for someone his age, and half the time it feels like he's the self-appointed tiny guardian of his friend group. Someone trips and skins a knee? 'Are you okay? We can sit down for a little. It's okay.' A born father, is your Itachi.
Who, for a man so reserved and soft-spoken, is hellbent on making sure his son has the most peaceful, memorable childhood he can possibly offer. Not a day is wasted in your household, even a lazy day is an opportunity to make memories and spend some honest, quality time with the people he loves most. You three can cook meals together, with your boy set to work at taste-testing and mixing ingredients under the quiet, watchful eye of his dad. He never wants for encouragement, love, affection, or little things that catch his eye; it would be wrong to call him spoiled, because he isn't, but there is little he wants that he doesn't receive.
Your secondary job is bullying Itachi into taking a day to relax and unwind, because although your son is essentially the perfect child, it's still a lot of work to raise him. Even when you're the primary parent on those days off, he's never far away, and always finding sneaky ways to slip back into dad-mode rather than actually relax. Half the time it takes you putting your son on the job of wrangling his dad just to make the man sit down, crack open a book and let himself just be. That typically entails your little boy gently chiding his father in a way you're certain he learned from the Uchiha himself- and god, it makes your heart melt. 'No, no. Gotta have your tea, it's gonna get cold', 'Sit, sit, sit. Sometimes we need to sit, papa. Gotta rest!'
Kisame loves to visit, he makes that fact no secret. For a man so massive, so intimidating, he handles your boy like glass- as if he's afraid a little rough play might break him. And your son, always as sweet as he is smart, adores the company. His questions know no limits, and he's a clever little babe about getting answers without actually asking questions. 'Can we go swimming? You must swim fast- can you swim under water? I can hold my breath longer than you can.' You once got to watch the boy perched at the end of a dock for half an hour, holding a staring contest with the swordsman who'd been stubbornly sat at the bottom of the lake's shallows for at least half an hour. That thoroughly entertained grin on the swordsman's face when he flared his gills told you he knew what exactly your boy was so curious about when he'd challenged him in the first place.
#kakuzu#hidan#kisame#itachi#naruto scenarios#naruto imagines#kakuzu x reader#kisame x reader#hidan x reader#naruto x reader#itachi x reader#i'm sorry but kakuzu as a dad specifically is my favourite#kisame as a dad and/or an uncle is ALSO my favourite i can't help it#kisame hoshigaki#itachi uchiha#kisame hates hiring babysitters and has no shame in offering to call itachi - you try to persuade him not to because itachi's a busy guy#kisame doesn't even have the courtesy to look sheepish when he tells you he'd already called him over to watch the kids for the night#'he's practically their uncle- sweetheart he LIKES watching 'em. it's fine! it's really fine!'#househusband itachi who brings his son along when it's time to go babysit the hoshigaki babes#'is it really work if it's essentially a playdate?' 'yes - and i'd like to pay for the trouble' 'you consider your children trouble?'#'...shut up and TAKE my MONEY PLEASE'
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I wanna date someone who joins in to sing along when they catch me singing to myself
#wlw#wlw mood#sapphic#sapphism#lesbian#i sing A Lot#without realizing it#me proposing: will you be my mediocre duet partner for life?🥺🥺#youd have to learn all the weird niche songs that never leave my head though sorry#id tell you what they were but sorry that’s top secret info for my soulmate😤#anyway if you start singing and having fun with me instead of making fun of me or telling me to stop i am kissing u on the mouth#immediately#straight to the church babe we getting married that very SECOND#im gay and i like sleeping
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the other thing I really love about grimmichi as a ship is that you cannot separate Grimmjow from Ichigo no matter who you actually like him with romantically (if anyone). it’d be one thing if he came back in TYBW and either snubbed Ichigo or had moved on but no he is very much still gunning for a rematch. it’s been like 2 years. maybe not a lot of time for a hollow but I mean. c’mon. I’ll never be over Grimmjow trying to butt into the call with Urahara because he heard Ichigo’s voice on the other end. man was desperate for attention you can’t convince me otherwise
#king’s court#grimmichi#it’s hilarious to think about other Grimmjow ships where you still have to acknowledge his obsession with Ichigo#‘sorry babe but I’ve got this death match scheduled with that fucker kurosaki can’t get out of it’#this happens bi monthly#nel is somehow the funniest option for me because they’re both obsessed with Ichigo#is that a ship? nel/grimmjow/ichigo?#it should be a ship if it’s not#I know it might be weird for Ichigo cause he met her in kid form but like#he’d be very loved lmao#I mean once grimmjow stops trying to kill him#(perhaps before then too that’s their Thing)#anyway someone please tell me if I’m being annoying by posting a lot in this tag I just really really love this ship
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i fear the ending of agatha all along is once again making people confuse “i didn’t like the ending/the ending made me sad” with “that was bad writing”
#like don’t get me wrong there are other things i wish we’d gotten (rio and agatha’s backstory and agatha getting the dark hold for instance)#but the finale made perfect sense. and like yes i understand bury your gays is never fun#but sometimes gays just die. mainly when they’re in love with DEATH like cmon#and she’s a ghost so she’s barely even dead#like y’all are out here making me defend MARVEL and their writing can we please not#agatha all along is genuinely one the best things marvel has put out in a long time - start to finish#and the writing is good - ESPECIALLY in the last two eps. sorry!#like i saw some people saying ‘oh they did used the whole show to tell us she wasn’t evil and then erased it in three seconds’#like babe if you genuinely think that i’m afraid you’re lacking media literacy#agatha IS evil they’ve never tried to deny that#there’s just also more to her than that and that’s what the show has been about#how she is misunderstood and also does a lot of bad things. two things can be true#agatha all along
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#are you sure??#WHY WASNT THIS IN THE FINAL EPISODE#I WANT TO SEE SHERLOCK JUST BLATANTLY ADMITTING PEOPLE THOUGHT THEY WERE GAY#😭#he straight up tells 200 people that he and john were strongly suspected of being in a relationship#like babe#its obvious to everyone at this point#so many tags im sorry#tjlc#johnlock#bbc sherlock#sherlock x john#sherlock holmes#sherlock#john watson#and they were roommates#sherlock scripts#unaired scripts#scripts
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erod and his adventures with finnish media aka i think my job is to make mikksy giggle and provide emotional support and i will do my job well!
"imma support you" he says as he gives mikksy a good back pat so he understands that heres here for him and is making space for him. mikksy nodding along like yes very well i expected this thank you you will be the court jester by my side yes
their banter is so toptier "youre half finnish" and erods absolutely JOY when he processes it that he got mikksy of all people admitted him as half finnish like yeah you ARE RIGHT. I AM. I KNOW THE MOST FINNISH ON THE TEAM FOR A NOT-FINN the absolute pride that puffed up in him as being admitted into the finns i did not have mikksy teasing erod about being half finnish in my bingo card and yet here we are
mikksy interupting the finnish reporter just to get one last dig in "you can answer too" and erods just utterly delighted mikksy is being this playful i absolutely cannot stand the way they both look away (mikksy at the reporter to lock back in, erod to giggle into his lap before he cant help but look back at mikksy and their eyes meet in a beautiful- i have to stop myself here before i write romantic prose) and mikksy immediately taking the smile off his fave to focus because YEAH YOU NUMBSKULLS YOURE IN THE MIDDLE OF AN INTERVIEW YOU ARE NOT AT A DINNER DATE GOING WHERE THE MOOD TAKES YOU. FOCUS. LOCK TF IN.
when your secret husband teammate starts actually focusing on the interview and youre alone to your own devices listening to all the finnish and going from happy to be here! to oh dear god what are they saying my rudimentary finnish can only take me so far. you can see the way the cogs in brains are turning slowly and he's trying to recall words hes learned to get any semblance of whats being said but its fast paced for him he just gets lost and the big ass grin he got from mikksy teasing just slowly starts to fall...
not a single thought in that brain of his... the lights are on but no ones home...
the many faces of erod as he tries to say the only finnish words he knows "ah can i go now- no."
nows my chance i can make my secret husband ah i mean teammate giggle see i know finnish look how well im doing please look at me! "kiitos" he looks like a puppy waiting for approval and he got it mikksys proud little nod like yes thats a word good job you remembered and you used it in a- well certainly in a context not really the best context- you know what it doesnt matter good job
this is what i imagine its like when you take your secret husband teammate home to your parents and are like "okay after the several months of finnish lessons ive drilled into you to make a good impression on my parents so they like you and see youre assimilating my culture into our relationship and respect us do you remember what to say?" "kiitos :)" "...good enough. youre canadian its okay theyll be impressed with that. just sit there and look pretty and let me do the talking okay dear?" "kiitos :)" "just like that sweetheart keep it up 👍"
edmonton oilers @ florida panthers game 2 postgame interview | 6.10.24 (x)
#niko mikkola#evan rodrigues#florida panthers#2324#playoffs 24#the thrilling video evidence of erod staying for mikksys finnish interview portion#i felt like i walked into a secret marriage i wasnt supposed to know about#shorter goofball gets the tall hot babe tale as old as time#this is the insightful commentary yall wanted right#im sorry i cant hear anything over the romantic novella im concocting about these teo#ah so all it takes to get mikksy to smile is to be funny and have rizz as they kids say#if they werent in the midst of an interview that back and forth banter would NOT have stopped im telling you that much ☝️#erod thinks hes such hot shit for making mikksy chuckle and hes so right#“you are half-finnish” is that a marriage proposal#or rather are you people already MARRIED#also i think mikksy replies with “sellain” after roddy says kiitos but i wasnt sure so i didnt want to add it#please someone who actually knows finnish tell me#roddy constantly touching mikkola....okay...
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HAPPY 17TH ANNIVERSARY TO THE SHOW THAT CHANGED MY LIFE!! 🎉🥳🎂
So maybe I'm a bit late to the party.. but that's not important 🤫🫶
#wordgirl#wordgirl fanart#pastrami sandwiches#art#digital art#becky botsford#captain huggyface#bob wordgirl#wordgirl pbs#pbs kids#EUGHH JESUS#fanart#IM COVERED IN BATTLE SCARS AND MY CLOTHES ARE RIPPED ALL OVER#HEY BABE IT TOOK ME SIXTEEN HOURS BUT YOUR WORDGIRL ANNIVERSARY FANART IS DONE#PASSES OUT ONTO FLOOR#sorry guys I'm a bit tired FR THOUGH i love this show so much and it's brought me so much joy in the past..?#four months?? has it really only been that long?#geez#I don't know if yall can tell#but this show means a lot to me#i really have had a genuinely awesome time being here in this fandom even if I've only been here for a little while#SDJH#SORRY IM MAKING THIS A LOT MORE SENTIMENTAL THAN IT HAS TO BE RN#but seriously this kids show is awesome you guys are awesome and I'm so happy to be here#ive been really wanting to say that for a while now#this should've only taken me like three days but because of school it took like five 😭#speaking of school I HAVE A TEST TO STUDY FOR OOOH GOD#HURRIEDLY RETREATS BACK INTO THE SHADOWS#BYE GUYS LOVE YALL!!#💖‼️
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sending you this directly because I know you like it and im STILL thinking about it
LITERALLY JUST FELL DOWN TO MY KNEES AND WAILED
i am so so so touchy feely so the way that i would be CONSTANTLY holding his hand and playing with his fingers underneath the desk if i sat next to him in class
AND SQUEEZING HIS THIGH TOO MHM MHM STILL ON THAT
#☽。⋆ dally’s asks;#✧.*; dally’s darlings!#he would most likely tell me to cut it out bc he’s trying to focus#but sorry babe i cant help it :(#i wanna touch you :(#please :(#the ballad of songbirds and snakes#tbosas#coriolanus snow prompt#coriolanis snow x reader
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asking people their pronouns is the bare minimum of trans acceptance and it's something we've had to drag cis people kicking and screaming into doing. where the fuck do you get off throwing all that progress out the window because you like it when people are mean to you actually
#atlas entry#I can't be the only one who remembers when contrapoints got in hot water for this exact same thing#blaming nonbinary people for the concept of cis people asking you your pronouns because now people can't just “tell”#as if trans liberation ever involved people being able to “tell” your gender by looking at you#how are you going to say you support nonbinary people and then advocate for people to misgender them because you think people should assume#your pronouns based on your appearance. sorry my preferred pronouns are they/them and if you call me she because you think I look like a#woman you are misgendering me. again I just don't get this whole “no one can know I'm trans” thing#you know there's a difference between someone seeing a tall woman and thinking “that's a trans woman” and someone seeing a tall woman and#thinking “that's a man”. I feel like so many people treat those like they're the exact same thing and it's like hm why do you view someone#identifying you as a trans woman as identifying you as a man? sounds like you have some internalized shit to deal with babes#in the meantime don't make it everyone else's problem by bullying cis people into reinforcing gendered norms surrounding appearance
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I met people I knew only online for the first time irl last night and I'm still extremely exhausted cause I am not a social person so here. Take an OC.
Katale (Kitty) is wonderful and I love her and she's a criminal and that's fine. She likes to look cute and so whenever I see a really cute outfit in public with a specific vibe, I'm like "Kitty would love that". So here. Please. Please know that I saw this very pretty woman jogging with her hair pulled back, running shorts, and the CUTEST top with a little scarf from the same fabric tied and wow. It was. So wonderful, please have a wonderful day @ the lady I saw jogging yesterday.
#my characters#kitty is so funny to me cause she is absolutely used to a life of crime#shes second in command in a huge group because she actually forfeited the top command spot to her future boyfriend#and now they are exes and besties and she just really likes their criminal crew#and then she adopts a lil agent guy bc hes like a puppy and she is like listen that is my son now you cant hurt him#ANY OF YOU TRY TO HURT MY SON I HURT YOU including you rud my beloved ex current boss#and hes just like okay#and then they become a very weird messed up family of two crime bosses and a good boy#but anyway kitty is the glue that holds everything together and she commits crimes on the side of being nice#like oh sorry im late to get here i had to kill a man#but its also her getting phone calls from rud telling her sorry babe cant show up im a bit gross#and shes like oh yeah dude i get it sometimes blood just doesnt wanna hide :c ttyl smooches ily#anyway she deserves to have cute outfits and no one is gonna tell her otherwise#ALSO for those who dont know and might care shes a weeb she watches so much anime#she just ..... really likes anime and makes rud watch some shows with her during and after dating#he just goes along with it no complaints and he doesnt understand all the appeal#but it makes kitty happy so hes happy
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I just made it to work…it’s heavy raining here. It was terrifying. Hydroplaned several times, could hardly see the lane markings, my windshield wipers are crap, and I’m raging because I know if I vented to my pharmacist coworker about it, he would just discount my experiences and mansplain about it. I’m angry today, and I really didn’t want to be. On top of it all, I have to do that terrible QC procedure you know I hate.
#you have no obligation to acknowledge this#but I just needed to get it out to the world#sorry for being a rage monster so much lately#It’s just like…of course the day after my bday has to be a little difficult#and I don’t wanna sour my mood or memories#but I’m tired and I need some comforts#wish a babe could hold me and tell me it’s okay#also I think I might be coming down with a cold😭
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actually as much as i love mike and harvey together. i feel so sad for rachel zane because imagine falling in love with your coworker and then you learn that your coworker is a fake lawyer but not only that, your coworker is a fake lawyer who would literally do anything for his boss. he'll literally leave you at the altar to go to prison for his boss. he'll try to quit his job multiple times but keep coming back because his boss asked him to come back. he'll move to seattle with you, and you'll breathe a sigh of relief because it means that it can finally just be the two of you, but then you learn that he's inviting his stupid former boss to join them. and his stupid former boss agrees. you smile because your husband is so stupid happy at the idea of working with his former boss again, but you've seen this film one too many times before, and you are going to be subject to watching your husband choose his stupid former boss-slash-friend over you again and again and again and again and again and ag
#caroline talks#suits#LIKE? ? ??? rachel zane babes i love u but i hope you've divorced mike ross by now <333#like i'm so sorry girlie!!! your husband loves u i'm sure but also he's been playing stupid chicken with this guy he's been in love with#for YEARS NOW!!!!#it's also like. uh. you KNOW that harvey wouldn't do anything with mike while mike's married to rachel because of ALL THAT BAGGAGE HE HAS--#and i don't think mike would ever do anything to harvey because HE knows how much baggage harvey has#like. in my head. yeah they're all living together in seattle and rachel's just like ':/// i need to divorce this man bc we could move to#literally antarctica and mike would still find a way to drag harvey along.#and the crazy thing is that harvey would probably FOLLOW HIM.'#like. the way i'm not even exaggerating what happens in the show too?? ? ?#like we have literal scenes of rachel crying and begging mike to just LET HARVEY GO#and to just CHOOSE HER#and mike is always just like '!!! HOW DARE YOU TELL ME TO GIVE UP ON HARVEY'#and it's like. ilysm mike u crazy silly man <333 but also like. i think it's fairly reasonable of the woman you're marrying#to ask you to choose her over your boss slash buddy. y'know?#like. it's not even like rachel and mike are a cute simple girlfriend-boyfriend.#they are literally ENGAGED and they are literally supposed to START A LIFE TOGETHER--#and mike is still going ':((( i can't leave harvey behind' like actually rachel babe i am SO SORRY
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