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sorry to say this but some of you read aroace-coding as gay-coding because you cannot fathom the idea that a person could not feel romantic or sexual attraction. like a male character can be asked if he has a girlfriend and respond by explicitly stating that he is not interested in dating anyone and you will go "oh he's not interested in girls so he must be gay". please stop doing this because it makes me very sad

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well this fucking sucks

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sunrise on the reaping reads like good fanfiction in that i would think it was incredibly high caliber coming from someone who wasn't an established author but that it rings false as a hunger games book in many ways. It does this in how it just repeats things that have been brought up in other books just as a reminder that it existed in the other book (i don't mind the cameos but things like the warning about rabbit fever. just like katniss did in the first hunger games book remember guys) and it simultaneously tries so hard to distance itself from the books to prove it is unique and special (reordering the events from haymitch's game) and in doing that it accidentally ruins part of what made the original series good (Haymitch trying to get to the end of the arena just because indicated intelligence curiosity and an innate desire to push boundaries, and him throwing the axe knowing it would boomerang back and kill the career girl mirrored him with katniss and the berries. Him doing it because somebody else told him to and he was like "yeahhhh I'll do that for suresies I want to take down the capitol!" and then only throwing the axe to try and carry out the destruction with no care about killing the career just feels unrealistic and kind of naive and takes away his agency and intrigue as a character to me. Let him suck a little and break off his alliance in a fit of emotion like how katniss made rash sometimes mean decisions! Let him be flawed! And let him be a realistic kid who can't see the whole big picture yet (like katniss shooting her arrow into the force field mostly bc she was pissed at the capitol not bc she knew the secret plot)). And also the potato part is so so amateur feeling. Like it feels like this was written by someone in a high school chemistry class who really wanted to show off the cool thing they learned and omg valid it IS cool but also GIRL THOSE POTATOES DIDN'T MATTE!. The way they immediately were like "potato battery will SAVE US we simply MUST smuggle this electrode kit in" HUH???!!! That was never part of the plot to explode the arena?!?!?! Twas just a POTATO with a WEAK LIGHT. And there was never a major reason why you couldn't use fire. It was used in an anticlimactic way that served no real thematic purpose or dramatic purpose it was like they were like oh yeah we should use this because we mentioned it. maybe just don't mention it? Or like it could've just been a silly one off thing excuse for beetee to be there and it demonstrates how pointless it was for him to be there, it was truly just to see his son suffer. The potato battery throughline ruined the book for me it cheapened it! SOOOOO so silly. Can't even focus on the horrors of child murder bc you keep telling me about potato battery. You're distracting me from the point of your book bro. unless potato battery had a secret meaning i missed, i so feel free to share and i'll apologize but i was just Not Feeling It Guys.

Anyway like it wasn't bad! And if this was a new author i would be like omg you have so much promise this is so cool! But Ms Suzanne collins you've been writing bangers for years. I read gregor the overlander too!!! SO iconic! How did you end up here? Do you just not really care anymore but need to make rent so you just wrote whatever because you knew it would get a movie deal? Understandable and valid but i felt like your heart wasn't in it. The commentary on propaganda fell so flat it was so interesting in theory but i feel it wasn't as artfully explored as themes of the futility of violence were in her previous books. It felt like a draft of something that could've maybe been good with more time and love. Suzanne Collins I hope you can regain your zest and joy and write something else powerful again. BUt yeah if you liked it that's fine it wasn't bad it just didn't hit the same for me. I would give it a kudos if this was on ao3 though and bookmark it. But i stubbornly do not view this as canon

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dude i love how chill and selfless you are 😄 by any chance is your wildest fantasy to be Useful?

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it turns out that taking a week of vacation for the first time in 7 months will make you want to just stop doing work for forever in a way your boss does not like or appreciate

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yay narumitsu week but i feel like there should have been a day that was called tragic breakup fight day where they are very angsty and ruin their relationship irreparably. Or maybe i enjoy them in a different way than other people.

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I do this very silly thing where when I discover a piece of art that moves me deeply like a song or a book I put it on a little pedestal in my heart and make no effort to engage with any of the artist's other work. And I think it's because I'm scared that it's a fluke, that the stars lined up perfectly just this once but that my tastes are too specific or discerning to be so easily pleased again and I don't want to be disappointed. I had read "Nothing to See Here" by Kevin Wilson and loved it so so much but had it in my head that his other books would be too weird and sad for me, but I got to the library half an hour before closing yesterday and I didn't have much time to browse and I just grabbed two of his other books and crossed my fingers, and oh my goshhhhh I could not put "Now is Not the Time to Panic" down last night it was sooo good in so much of the same way, like it makes me want to write something (which is still a new feeling for me as someone who has always considered herself more of an artist than an author). It's this crazy book that's very satanic panic-esque where these teenagers make this freaky poster for fun and just start hanging it up everywhere and their small town doesn't know what to do about it and things spiral out from there. And I'm just reading it like yes yes yes this is how I feel about the world and no one has ever put it in words before but YES this is it right here.

I think it's that Kevin Wilson is the opposite of a romantic. He is so real with his description of teenagers and growing up and how weird people are and how weird they feel and how love and feelings is kind of gross and awkward and what you feel as a teenager will define who you are but the person you feel those things towards will not be your end goal. And the details he gives to people's lives are just weird enough to be true. And the relationships are always part of the story but not what defines it. And he writes such losers, his female characters are such losers and failures and sad weird little kids that grow into weird adults but I love them so much and they feel like real people they feel like they could be me. I don't feel like many people capture this well with female characters, not since Suzanne Collins with Katniss Everdeen. Everything goes wrong for Kevin Wilson's characters but it's not dramatic like a sitcom. It's a quiet sort of wrong. It's like when you were in middle school and you spoke up in conversation in a group of girls and then they all looked at you in vague confusion and disgust and then move on, and you go "oh. I'm a weirdo freak and I just need to stand here quietly and never say anything ever again." Here are some quotes I liked.

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you can make miles edgeworth kiss people if you want, but I personally think it's important that he is Bad at kissing people, like for character reasons. Man who needs to be good at everything must face the humiliation of wanting something and knowing he will be bad at it but that logic is not enough to dissuade him from wanting it. Also if he became a lawyer at age 20 he must've taken college courses as a teenager and been like 4 years younger than his classmates at all times (and also hugely annoying), so like, I don't think he had any opportunity to practice. Even if somehow someone wanted him in college, to enter a romantic relationship you have to be very vulnerable and trust that you partner will value you despite your shortcomings, which is something he is not so good at (he has a tendency to fake his own death when he realizes he has been messing up at something) so I DON"T FEEL like he got any experience in. He's for sure figuring out things for the first time in his mid/late twenties.

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if i were to make pizza bagels and eat them while in the bath would that be luxury and self care or worrisome and worthy of ridicule

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bad news guys I sat with my feelings for a little bit and worked through them as an adult and it turns out that I'm just really jealous at how happy she is, she works 8 hours every day at the same company I do where I work 11 and completes her work well enough that people don't complain and she has a full life with friends and such and just ignores things because she knows people will do them for her (I'm people) and it's so unfair because i have to care so much and work so hard and then also she didn't even try to be my friend or appreciate the work I do and so I'm just basically experiencing baby emotions. And wishing hate on her is not productive. But i think I need to not live with her it's just continuously rubbing me the wrong way how little thought she gives to me and our shared space and i've tried to come to peace with it several times but i have to put in so much effort and it's not worth it i don't think

oh well time to go watch oceans 12 about it i guess

my roommate has caused me emotional duress for 2 years now so I think I will go ruin the mood between her and her girlfriend by being annoying in the kitchen

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LOLLLLLLLL i walked loudly into the kitchen and the bedroom door which had been opened slightly was just quickly closed YES I LIVE HERE TOO and I will take up space

my roommate has caused me emotional duress for 2 years now so I think I will go ruin the mood between her and her girlfriend by being annoying in the kitchen

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my roommate has caused me emotional duress for 2 years now so I think I will go ruin the mood between her and her girlfriend by being annoying in the kitchen

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Still haven't quite forgive Maggie Stiefvater for ending the raven cycle series with half of the friend group going on a third wheeling honey moon backpacking across the country and the other half going to college/staying at home and then making the executive decision that the more interesting group to follow would be the ones staying home. HELLO???????? :(

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I won't write anything with this because my brain is full of bees and I work 52 hours a week but I think it's fun to imagine Miles Edgeworth and Phoenix Wright during the seven year gap wanting to stay in touch but struggling immensely because they can't talk about any of the "safe" small talk topics (job talk is one sided and tenuous because Nick is unwilling to share his cover job as a bad pianist or his real job as a poker player, and talking about Miles' work is a reminder that Nick is no longer a lawyer) and they are unwilling to be open and honest about their more serious feelings. And so their go to conversation topics just become talking about their hobbies, like Miles will give beat for beat recounts of Steel Samurai episodes along with his analysis and opinions and Nick will recount facts from his art history courses as well as giving technical overviews of things like the chemical process involved in lithographs. IDK I like the idea that during the most tumultuous time of Nick's life he and Miles get to be normal with eachother, even if it is used as a coping mechanism to ignore how crappy his life is. And I like that they talk around things in their personal lives even though they're able to be straight and to the point in their professional lives because emotions are a lot harder than facts.

I also think they would talk around the issue by asking about eachother's family members, like Miles asks about Trucy and Nick asks about Franziska. Because it's easier to talk about other people than yourself sometimes. And I think it would be their clumsy way of trying to be like I do care about you and your life I just struggle to say it outright. They probably talk about other shared people in their lives like Gumshoe and Larry and Maya as well. Lastly I think when Miles gets his dog he tries to relate to Nick over fatherhood struggles and it pisses Nick off because oh my god that is a dog not a daughter, you know nothing of trying to teach yourself algebra 2 for the second time.

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my lack of self preservation and misguided belief that I'm only doing well if I'm suffering/feeling distress would probably make me well suited to working in the entertainment industry, which famously requires long hours and poor working conditions. Unfortunately i also enjoy being able to pay rent so alas, i'm stuck working tech.

also I'm starting to think every single job ever sucks. Like is there no job where you work a 40 hour week and can also afford rent. Hm.

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Hello, I am going to analyze your psyche about what your favorite version of Narumitsu/Wrightworth says about you and give you personalized therapy advice (JOKE!! This is a lighthearted fun jest and I don't really think everybody falls in these categories. So we are all going to be polite to eachother ok!!)

Elementary school aged Nick and Miles: If this is your favorite ship, you're really into the nineties/y2k aesthetic and you miss going to blockbuster. Also you are feeling untethered and like the last time things made sense was when you were young. You want to imagine that if you could turn back time and do things differently, you could stay blissful and happy forever. But you have this creeping feeling that no matter what you do, time is going to keep passing and you will lose touch with people and think of things you wish you could've said but never had a chance to and this is just going to be an endless cycle for the rest of forever. Some of that is true, yes. The best you can do is be honest with the people you know now about how much you care about them so that they can hold that with them always, no matter what happens.

pre-AA1/Feenie x Bratworth: If this is your favorite ship you are in college or most likely high school. The idea that you could find someone in school and them end up being your soulmate for life is really tender and special to you (because you are in high school and you would like to be loved Right Now Please because facing the change of adulthood without someone who loves you by your side scares you). You also find it difficult to care about adults and their adult problems (because you are in highschool) and honestly? That's so valid. Enjoy your time not thinking about them bc one day it will be all you think about. I fear that if you put too much pressure on yourself about finding the perfect relationship, you will miss out on the ephemeral joy of being with another person. Please give yourself grace and try to live in the moment.

Ace Attorney main trilogy Phoenix and Edgeworth: if this is your favorite ship, Edgeworth is your favorite character and you are really invested in his character arc and want to see it tied up neatly with him letting someone into his life. You like your stories to end with "And they all lived happily ever after", because you like the thought that things happen for a reason, and that if you care enough and try hard enough you can fix things. You probably like to think this because your own life has difficulties and you want to escape them for a little while. Things really do get better, but there are some things you may never get closure on. I am sorry, I know it's hard and it hurts. I am sending you my love

Seven year gap beanix and umm glasses edgeworth? (what is his nickname?): Ok even though this is one time period this actually falls into two parties. People either like this because of Phoenix being a new father to Trucy OR they like it because of Nick and Kristoph's toxic situationship love triangle, which is so deeply funny bc these groups have totally different vibes. So let's split these up:

Dad Phoenix: Phoenix is your favorite character and you want to see him suffer so that he can be cared for by Edgeworth for once. You also like seeing Phoenix do his best to love and care for Trucy despite the circumstances even though he isn't a perfect dad. It means a lot to you to see someone fail and still be loved and deemed worthy by someone. Did you perhaps experience gifted kid burnout in school and feel like you let everyone around you down? Be kind to yourself and examine how capitalism has shaped our worldview so that a "valuable" member of society is someone who holds a job of a certain caliber and earns a certain amount of money. We cannot all be held to the same standards. Do what you are able to do in your situation. Maybe that is fight for people in court. Maybe that is make music or art. Maybe that is being there for people you love. The world needs all of these things, but every person does not need to do it all.

Situationship Phoenix: Phoenix is your favorite character and you think he is owed a little sexiness after being denied love by everyone else in his life. You also want to punish Edgeworth a little bit, like you definitely have some beef against Edgeworth (understandable, although I love him he is frequently annoying) and making him jealous feels like you're serving justice on Phoenix's behalf. You probably lie awake at night and think about the sick comebacks you wish you had said to people who were jerks to you in the past. This very emotionally driven form of serving justice to these characters means that you too would have gotten your badge taken away if you were an attorney. You should probably examine the way you hold grudges and how you treat people you believe have wronged you.

Apollo justice games era Phoenix and Edgeworth: Ok I haven't played all of apollo justice yet I can't tell if there are different eras within Apollo justice, but probably if you like to imagine Nick and Miles are actively dating/flirting during the events of the first Apollo Justice game, you are living in denial that the events of the 7 year gap happened and you are sticking your fingers in your ear and going LALALALA I can't hear youuuu. You also think dads are kind of hot. You probably dislike running errands alone and prefer to have a buddy go with you. You have a small group of friends that you are really close with and you are secretly terrified of the thought of them leaving you. Pain is inevitable, and you must learn to accept this, but know also that joy is just as inevitable. You are stronger than you think.

Post Apollo Justice Phoenix and Edgeworth: If this is your favorite ship, you want everyone to be able to rest. You want to wrap up all the lawyers and everyone they love in a big blanket and let them all take a cozy nap together. You want all the drama to be done so that they can move in together and raise a child together and propose to each other and plan a wedding and be very sweet and kind to each other. Despite your best efforts, I sense that the expected social norms of a nuclear family structure are influencing your life choices. This is not a bad thing, to want these things! But does hitting these life milestones feel genuinely good, or good because you are achieving a goal and gaining approval from others? Close your eyes and imagine moments where you have felt joy. Make a pact with yourself to try and seek out these things more, regardless of whether they are what society expects of you.