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i am so so so so unwell

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providence & judgement thy name is night shift

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would give anything to know how to make gifs so I could make one of John talking to Chen at the end of 6x22 when he tilts his head at her and goes is this about mistakes? hm? screaming crying throwing up

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it’s carter. your mind just doesn’t go there. 🫠

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ngl when i look at him my head is completely empty besides the sound that the headboard makes when it hits the wall over and over again

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wish i was born thirty years earlier because i have a fantastic plot for john carter and it could have been so great but instead i am here and all i can do is talk to the blog about it

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wait I’m sorry I’m still new to ER lore what do yo my mean Noah Wyle took the Carter Lucy sex scene from us?? Why did he say no?

ohh i hate to be the one to tell you this …

to make a long story short: noah claims he had ethical concerns about the relationship. so when he read the script for 5x14, he wrote a letter to john wells pleading for the sex scene to be cut out. they negotiated down to a kiss, which kellie martin described as “very uncomfortable” because he straight up refused to kiss her back when filming. they talk about it in this interview.

but let me also say that mr. wyle was notoriously hard on newcomers to the show, he talks about it in this interview from 2019 saying: “I was hard on people that were coming into the show, like Erik Palladino or Michael Michele. Everybody had to earn their keep, in my opinion, especially poor Kellie Martin. I owe her a big apology.” and in this video talks a little more about specifically regretting his behaviour towards kellie.

unfortunately, lucy was brought in primarily as a love interest for carter, so after noah shut it down they agreed her character wasn’t really going anywhere and thus 6x13 “be still my heart” was born.

obviously noah has since apologised and there doesn’t seem to be (much) bad blood between them. but it does haunt me to think about what could’ve been ... my thoughts on the matter would be a different post entirely though

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Where's my towel?

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Ask Game for readers who would like to tell their favorite authors that they love them and their work

copy, paste and send to your favorite writers the phrases that you think best reflect their work and make them smile

👀 eagerly await updates from you every day ⏰ admire how fast you write and that you publish regularly 💀 your scenes of violence grab me by the throat 💌 love your answers to other people's asks about your stories 🤡 love the way your characters use irony 💖 adore literally everything you write 🥵 your smut scenes make me die of thirst 💔 your angst scenes ruins me every time 🍓 your fluff scenes always make me feel pleasantly blissful 🩸 living for your terrifying, disturbing psychos 🎀 you describe tender, soft intimacy wonderfully 🧠 love how your brain works and how you solve plots 🌺 you make me root for your heroes every time 🍄 love how crazy some of the scenes you write are 🩰 have been waiting for a writer like you all my life

🌞 reading your works cheers me up and makes me feel better ⭐️ everything you write draws me in immediately 🎨 Iove your references to art, history, mythology, culture 💡 your ideas are always fresh and surprising 🧸 often go back to your old stories to re-read them 🍀 you can describe emotions and feelings perfectly 📗 when I read your story I feel like I'm reading a book 🧩 adore how you connect different threads together 💐 love your female characters and what they are like 🧶 your dialogues are as if real people were talking to each other 🧊 the changes your characters make don't feel forced 💎 you perfectly portray the mind and thoughts of your characters 💧 there were times when I cried reading your stories 🌌 I love that your stories create whole additional universes 😱 your fics have amazing, unexpected plot twists 🎵 specific songs remind me of your stories 🍇 your intimate scenes are written with great taste 🍆 love the way you write male characters 🪀 your stories are very easy, quick and enjoyable to read 🔮 when I think that nothing will surprise me anymore, you do it 💣 you can build tension in your stories incredibly well 🎬 love to imagine your stories as if I was watching a movie 🎱 you write very satisfying, non-obvious endings 🎩 while waiting for your new chapters I read old ones 🧛‍♀️ crave your new stories like a vampire craves blood

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Everybody say thank you Shabana for being the funniest person in the cast

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Today is the only day you can reblog this

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robby has a best friend from his residency (he was one year above him in the program and ultimately the kind of friend that he has great memories of—24 hour on-call shifts and taking turns sleeping and finding the worst possible way to wake the other one up and seeing who could get that cute nurse’s number first). but after they both left new orleans, it was harder and harder to stay in touch. the kind of friendship that lives mostly in his memories—when there’s a trauma that reminds him of something from years ago and he wishes he could just turn around and talk to him about it, because picking up the phone and calling or leaving a message for something so small seems dumb. when someone brings donuts in the morning for a birthday and he remembers the time the two of them lived off of chocolate frosted from the hospital’s coffee shop for a month. when some weasel surgical intern starts acting up and he remembers how their attending used to put guys like that in their place. times like those, where he wishes his friend was there, instead of just staying silent because no one else shares that memory with him.

robby doesn’t have social media but he kept in touch the regular way over the years—he got the invitation for his wedding and even sent back an rsvp, but there was a huge storm the weekend of and his flight got grounded. they occasionally send a postcard—robby’s from the hospital gift shop when he got the attending job at ptmc and his friend’s from a teaching hospital in the midwest somewhere (he thinks, he’s not sure) where he started working as a residency director. when he married janey, they had a really small wedding and at the time, it didn’t seem right to make him fly all the way here for a ceremony that was only half of an afternoon. it sucks, but that’s the way adult friendships go—kept alive mostly in your head, finding it difficult to find time for a phone call when real life gets in the way. between teaching interns and getting married and then getting divorced and the whole world shutting down, he never found time to reach back out, but he thinks of him every now and then, fondly.

it’s interesting, really, because robby was never much interested in the residency director stuff. he preferred to leave that for the higher ups, though he knew attendings normally liked to have a say in who was going to be joining their program. but his plate always felt full enough and there were others who cared way more about it than he did, so he left it alone, though, maybe he shouldn't have. maybe he should have paid more attention. because if he had, he wouldn't have smiled at the pretty girl who sat down next to him at the bar two nights before july 1st. he wouldn't have started talking to her, wouldn't have sensed that she was nervous about something and there for a distraction. he wouldn't have ignored his better instincts that tell him to stay away from pretty, young girls because they're much better off without him involved in their lives. he wouldn't have taken you home with him and made you cum until you cried and let you sleep in the morning after, kissing your forehead and telling you to lock the door behind you because he has to go to work.

he did have to go, though the thought of staying with you for half the morning ran through his mind the entire time he got ready to leave. the new interns start on monday and there's always more work to do when they're expecting them. it's also the last day for the senior residents and every year they cut cake and have drinks and he can't miss all of that no matter how much he wants to. he comes back home to a neatly made bed and a post-it in your pretty handwriting that says thanks for last night! but is devoid of a phone number. he wishes you had left it—he would have called you, probably after monday, knowing the day would be exhausting and because he never got to find out what you had been wanting a distraction from. he figures you might end up back at the bar next weekend and maybe he'll end up there too.

at first, on the walk to work, it felt like christmas came early. he recognized you from the back of your head (though it was a lot harder to tell without your hair bunched up in his fist). you're walking a hundred feet ahead of him, and he thinks he'll catch up before the turn for the hospital. but then you turn exactly where he turns, walk until you cross the street and are faced with the entrance to the hospital. he stops dead in his tracks, getting bumped into by someone. there's no way—you can't be showing up to the hospital on july 1st. he keeps walking after someone shouts at him, goes through the same doors you went through. you must be lost, or at the very least, he hopes, looking for the elevators to head upstairs. peds, maybe, or obstetrics, or internal medicine or literally anything else that doesn't put you under his direct supervision. when he walks in, he sees you head towards the lockers. fuck. they must have shown you that during orientation last week, the one day he had off. he can't let this be the way you find out that he's your attending, not in front of everyone. he'd like to spare you that much, at least, so he tells dana he'll be right back and follows you. you turn at the noise of footsteps behind you, smiling brightly like you're ready to introduce yourself, when your smile dies on your face.

"michael?" you repeat his name, but he doesn't even hear you. his ears are ringing. you're in the process of unzipping a hoodie he recognizes—one that says big charity nola down the middle. and your badge, well, it has the name you told him the other night printed on, followed by the last name of his best friend from residency.

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passed my exam!!!! it might not be today but i feel so relieved and i can’t wait to write more about all these things ive been yapping about!!!!

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for your consideration—dad’s best friend reader has only ever seen these sort of photos of robby, blurry and goofy and your dad isn’t even in most of them so you never looked that hard at them and you did know that his friend from residency he mentions every once in a while was working at the hospital you matched at but he didn’t even know if he was still there and in your defense, he introduced himself as michael and you’ve only ever heard of robby and doubly in your defense, he looks really different with the beard. at least that’s what you tell yourself when your dad calls after your first day and asks if you met robby yet.

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