#is it so bad to want people to stop dying???????
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I honestly think that the inability to understand the most basic ideas of ASOIAF characters comes from bad faith criticism, especially if they think that "long winter" is not a central plot point of the story.
Whatever about worldbuilding, I don't care about the freaking bees of Westeros (and the problem is again that Martin has a stick up his ass and should act more like Tolkien and embrace more the poetry and less the pedantry).
I understand and enjoy criticism (1- I think he deserves it, 2- I like to interact with different opinions of things I read/watch/whatever) but saying "winter is unimportant" explains why so many understand the books as a misanthrope story.
Because you have Jaime's journey after "being evil" or Sansa learning the game of thrones to survive while knowing that she doesn't want to become a Cersei.
There's a lot of dark and cruelty but the central conclusion is always the same: be clever!
That's where the TV show failed, in the book consequences matter!
Ned is not dead because he was "good", Ned is dead because he was DUMB!
Nobody said "oh but why did he have to die?" because we know why!
Every single death happens because someone didn't know how to play the game.
That's why Daenerys is doomed to become a fascist (the tv show was BAD but the general idea of Dany turning "bad" is there in the books too).
That's why I will always defend Sansa (arguably the biggest victim of fan's misogyny).
The characters, good or bad, are (usually) incredibly well written, with (usually) a lot of nuance.
From the anti chosen one/Prince Charming of Dany/Jon to the child soldier metaphors of Arya there's really a lot of though and care behind them all. And that's why the books have become impossible to finish. Too many complex pieces to play with.
Martin has A LOT to criticize and I wish he stopped with the bullshit (and the obsession with rape, and the racism, and the...) but I can't understand how someone can read those books and think "this author thinks humans are awful".
Everyone hates Cersei and then Martin goes "Take this, a Cersei POV chapter" and... Fuck.
Yes, she's bad. But suddenly she is a person, not a fairy tale evil queen. She has ambition, she's scared, she's a mother, she's a woman in a sexist world full of violence against women... And we learn all those fears and dreams directly from her, from the "evil queen".
One of the little things that the TV show did well was Joffrey's death.
I remember people being... Uncomfortable. Because while enjoying the death of a monster they realized "wow... He's just a 16 year old boy... Dying in his mother's arms..."
And that, and not "historical accuracy" or whatever Martin claims, is the true golden heart of ASOIAF.
That the world is awful and make us awful
And that it doesn't have to be like that.
That's why the winter IS central.
Because a looming doom should be enough to make them realize how dumb the whole "game of thrones" is (like, you know...the real world and climate change??? The pandemic and the totally insufficient collaboration between countries???) and yet they keep fighting for an ugly chair that kills you if you sit on it too hard because it's made out of the swords of a colonialist war.
IT'S NOT SUBTLE
For all its faults, what ASOIAF is saying (or should be if Martin stopped with the bullshit) is that the world is awful, but you don't have to, and that it's never too late to change.
That you can be good but you have to be CLEVER.
That the kids are the future and can be the change.
That the Starks were always right and the winter is coming.
And that the lone wolf dies but the pack survives.
And I don't think he's ever gonna finish the books, but I don't think it's a coincidence that the last book is called "A promise of Spring".
Say what you want about Martin and his stupidity and empty pride.
But ASOIAF, even if failing a lot in achieving it, is ultimately about hope.
Hope in spite of horror.
Btw, a disclaimer: I'm not even a fan anymore!
I haven't even read the last published book!
But to be a hater you have to admit the good parts too!
Listen to Orson Welles, the OG hater!
Jeez!
Disclaimer x2: I refuse to acknowledge any grammar or orthographic mistake, I can't read anymore 😌
Someone over on Discord asked, "I'm morbidly curious: How BAD is A Song of Ice and Fire in terms of the authenticity George claims it to be?"
My reply was straightforward:
The long and the short of it is that ASOIAF is basically a vehicle for GRRM to present both his rape fetish and his Hobbesian view on human nature and has less historical accuracy than Frozen or most other Disney movies.
That's actually a good way to think of it, now that I've said it--he's Family Unfriendly, they're Family Friendly, but both have the same relationship with History: just Pure Aesthetic with no consideration for how the worldbuilding would work.
#long post#asoiaf#books#to be a hater you have to appreciate the good parts too#I won't allow empty haterism#yeez!#I don't know why I'm even defending this books I think I'm bored and it's late#read Discworld if you want more fairy tale deconstruction and nuanced characters without the grimdark#read Discworld as a basic advice#and even if you don't like ASOIAF its characters are amazingly constructed so theres always something to learn#even from the things we hate
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Okay, takes out pitch notecards, so the line about not being a psychic in the TVLine article. It gave me ideas.
Tommy Kinard is a psychic.
Not a Carrie or Firestarter psychic. Not a Jean Grey or Professor Xavier psychic.
No.
More of a That's So Raven psychic.
Sometimes, he can see the future. Not a lot of the future;l mere glimpses of the future. Usually, they were terrible - unhappy endings or bad moments that involved Tommy. Especially when he met new people.
Every time Tommy introduced himself to a new person, he would see a glimpse of the end of his relationship with that person.
A falling out.
A fading friendship.
A death.
All Tommy's life, he tried to ignore them. Tried to push down the notion that he could see any part of the future. That he would know where this will all go. But well, it was hard to push away that part of himself after Abby. He had finally accepted that he was gay. Why not believe in the fact that he could see the future? Definitely made his job easier.
Because.
Sometimes.
Just sometimes.
Tommy could stop a terrible thing from happening. He had never been able to do so with an altercation. He had never stopped a relationship from falling apart. But he had stopped disasters before, and well, people had proved him wrong in the past. When he had first met Howie, after all, Tommy had seen himself dying in that mall alone. Howie had been the first person to prove Tommy wrong.
That his visions, while he hadn't fully accepted them at that point, could change, if only in life or death situations.
So, it was odd.
It was supremely weird that when Tommy introduced himself to a certain Evan "Buck" Buckley, well, he saw nothing.
Nada.
Zip.
He literally saw no future. And that wasn't even to say that Tommy hadn't foreseen something that involved Evan. He had, after all, had a nightmare about a helicopter in a hurricane right before Howie had called him for help.
But Tommy had never met someone with literally no future with Tommy.
So, Tommy thinks, Okay. Maybe my presence in this man's life is so inconsequential that there's literally nothing for me to see. Which feels like a shame because Evan seems like such a nice guy. And they have a pretty good conversation on the way back from the cruise rescue. And maybe if Evan wasn't straight, well, Tommy would have loved to have asked Evan out for a beer at the very least.
But no future was no future. Tommy didn't try to think anything of it. After all, he seemed to have an okay vision for once in his life when it came to a friendship with the other new face he met, Eddie Diaz. And who's to say friendships aren't just as important as crushes?
So, Tommy focuses on that. Focuses on a new blossoming friendship with Eddie.
Until.
He gets a call.
From Evan Buckley.
And that was weird. Tommy hadn't expected that. How could he? He was seemingly so inconsequential to Evan that he had no future with the man. But there Evan was, rambling until he got to what had to be the point of the call - that Evan wanted to see Harbor Station again.
And.
Okay.
Tommy could show Evan around the station. It probably didn't matter in the end. After all, Tommy had no future with the guy. Why not spend a little time with him if he got the opportunity? It wouldn't hurt, right?
So, Tommy agrees to the tour. Despite knowing that this would make Tommy like Evan more even no future with him. Which felt a little bit like torture late, but Tommy never felt that way when Evan was around. He just liked hanging out with the guy. Getting to know him. Getting to see him.
Just.
Being with him.
Tommy feels bad when he realizes that he didn't quite schedule everything in a way where he could spend more time with Evan. That he has the fight in Las Vegas with Eddie.
And well.
It wasn't as if he and Evan had a future.
So, Tommy tries not to think about it. He focuses on the fight; on Muay Thai; on fixing cars; on karaoke trivia night. And he's having fun with Eddie, so that's nice at least.
Then.
Tommy sees Evan again.
At pickup basketball.
And it would feel like serendipity if not for the fact that Tommy knows there's nothing there. That there's no way for something to be there. But he's happy, nonetheless, and he's excited to play basketball with Evan.
Well.
Until Evan sprains Eddie's ankle. Which makes Tommy wonder if he was messing something up here. If he was jamming up some cogs of fate and doing something to impact this person's fate because Tommy hadn't exactly predicted that ankle injury.
Tommy decides to apologize. To hopefully course correct whatever was happening; maybe disengage from Eddie so that whatever Tommy was doing to hurt an already built friendship wouldn't come to pass any longer.
Except.
Evan's the one who apologizes. And talks about insecurities and jealousies. And well, Tommy finds himself talking about his own. He finds himself explaining how all he wanted to be was part of them. Part of the family Howie and Hen had at the 118 now.
And.
Well.
Tommy finds himself reading something; in the way Evan comforts him; in the way Evan talks about his feelings toward Tommy. And - fuck it. It wasn't as if there was a future there. Couldn't hurt to kiss the guy, especially if this might be the only opportunity to do so.
And.
It feel so right.
It feels so perfect that Tommy's scared that opening his eyes will lead to everything crashing; would lead to him realizing just how wrong the kiss was.
But it wasn't.
Evan seemed to like the kiss.
And Tommy finds himself asking Evan out despite himself because, well, Tommy could cling to whatever time he got with the man even without a future to perceive, right? Just meant any time with Evan was a bonus. Some strange loophole that Tommy had found himself jumping through.
And the first date goes poorly. And there's a huge fire that he has to go to when the wedding happens. And it feels as if fate itself is trying to push Tommy away from this man, this Evan Buckley. And somehow, the more fate tries to tear Tommy away from Evan, the more Tommy tries to fight it.
Because he loves Evan.
Despite everything, he does.
And okay.
Maybe Tommy has succumb to the will of fate at the moment.
Maybe he's folded.
It's so hard to fight fate, after all. How could he when fate finally sent him a sign - sent him a vision that he wouldn't be Evan's last.
But, well.
Despite knowing full well that there was no way to stop it. That it would be selfish to keep Evan to himself. To love him how he does. Tommy still feels himself wanting to text back.
Maybe.
Wanting to be with Evan despite what his visions have told him.
But that was selfish, right?
So, Tommy lets the text go.
But.
Still.
Maybe he should fight for this.
#911 abc#bucktommy#evan buckley#tommy kinard#psychic au#psychic tommy kinard#bucktommy fic#tevan#tevan fic#kinley#kinley fic#my process#behind the scenes
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Waitwaitwaitwait. Morse. You. The Morse of CORSAIR. Quite possibly one of the most influential non governmental bodies in the Orion. As a handler, do not have a chassis.
Like, what sort of strict Union Glue huffing tester was in charge of your certification? Like, by the Stars. Unless you nearly killed someone with your testing range, they really shouldn't have flunked you. I get that is Lancers are "elite strike forces" technically, but c'mon. Any poor fucker can wake up with a Litch instead of a toaster once morning because a HORUS cell thought it would be "funny." GMS testers aren't usually that strict unless you actually tested on Cradle.
You should retake. Even if you're not planning on using a chassis. From the sounds of it, you've survived hell twice over. Try it again. If you want to rule out mechanical failure, which is generally the only reason anyone even gets flunked, ask to borrow someone closer to you's neuro helm if they don't use a mech mounted system.
Having an Everest to use in a crisis scenario is a lifesaver. Even if you're not great at it. Even if you're a shit shot. Just punch a fucker. Designate CAS. Hell, the Everest can even work as a command vic!
There's so many uses for a combat chassis outside of frontline combat that it's a crime they failed someone like you.
Signing off, [Redacted]
[Morse lets out an absolutely exhausted sigh]
Ra below the Omninet is as bad as my parents. I'm not that damn influential I'm a handler... I stopped more people from dying in a pointless company civil war. I am not some force of power. I did my job and that's it.
Don't idolize me.... don't turn me into a figure I am not.
I failed the damn shooting range exam nearly twice. These meat and blood hands with a training sidearm...
I am not fit to pilot a mech, I do not want to pilot a mech and I won't pilot a mech.
How hard is it to understand that I am not a pilot and won't be a pilot. My job is behind the desk taking care of pilots. You wanna know who did handling and piloting?
[Her vocal stim of clicking is audible for a few seconds]
Signal. Deuces. Hell Commodore did a few times.
It changes you.
I've seen it.
Power to the pilots, I'm dating one and pining after another, but I am NOT touching a frame with the intent to even turn it on.
Not everyone has to pilot to be useful. Thought the Omninet would know that.
//Morse\\
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So, I wrote this a few nights ago, and this is basically how it came into being:
Brain: I see you've gone to bed early so you'll be well rested tomorrow, that's cute! Anyways, what if the Triforce was cold?
Me: ...what?
Brain: what if the Triforce was cold instead of warm? Glowing golden stuff is usually seen as warm, right? But what if is wasn't?
Me: that's cool, but I'm trying to sleep rn
Brain: well that's too bad, because I'm already thinking about it in great detail!! Better start typing away, because it's either that or try to ignore it, be unable to fall asleep until 1am anyway AND forget all but the vaguest details of it by morning! :D
And that is the story of how I went to bed at 10pm and still stayed awake until 12:30am typing out ALTTP Link (or pre-LU Legend) making his wish on the Triforce, with a sprinkle of a timeline split theory, in my phone notes. Please enjoy my creation.
----
Link’s lungs were burning, every breath feeling like it was dragging hot knives down the inside of his throat. His limbs trembled in exhaustion, and the Master Sword in his hands suddenly felt too heavy to hold. He let it slip from his grasp, watching it fall to the floor. It clanged loudly against the cracked stone, and the sound seemed to echo around the suddenly empty-feeling chamber.
Link had won. Ganon was gone.
Link had thought maybe he would feel a thrill of victory or something similar, like heroes always did in stories—not always, not the one who had fought the darkness before him and failed and died—but he just felt…tired. And maybe a little relieved, but mostly he was so, so tired. He wanted to curl up in a ball on the floor and never move again, but he remained standing.
His ragged gasps for breath were beginning to even out, the ache in his lungs fading. Link took a deep breath, holding it deliberately for a few seconds before letting it out, slowly. He glanced down at his hands. They were strangely steady, considering how the rest of him was shaking like a leaf in an autumn breeze.
A flash of light caught his eye—the Master Sword, still laying a few steps to his left. Its blade was glowing gold. No, that wasn’t right. It was only shining in one spot, more like a reflection of something else, but what…?
He lifted his head, and there it was: a bright, glowing golden triangle, hovering at about his head level in the center of the room.
The Triforce.
Link’s eyes widened, and he took a few hesitant steps towards it before stopping. He was sure that it hadn’t been there a moment before. He studied it carefully, looking for any sign of danger.
Nothing. Just a sparkling triangle of triangles.
“A wish for the bearer.”
A voice seemed to echo inside Link’s head, and he jumped. It didn’t seem to come from the glowing triangle before him, but from someone or something much older.
He glanced quickly around the room. He was alone, save for the vines creeping along the walls and the sword laying a few paces away, still where he had dropped it.
A wish for the bearer.
A wish? Could he wish for anything? The voice hadn’t said if there were limits, so he might as well try.
Link tried to think about what he wanted most, but his mind began to wander of its own accord. It strayed to the people whom Agahnim had harmed in his mad quest for power; the seven maidens, sacrificed for his twisted cause, the king, who had disappeared completely, the soldiers who had killed and been killed—who he’d killed— at the wizard’s beck and call.
It strayed to a too-large sword pressed into his shaking hands, and the dying breaths of the only father figure he had ever known.
It strayed to a weathered and moss-covered stone in a tangled and ancient wood, and a child who had fallen and taken the world with him.
A wish for the bearer.
Link looked up at the Triforce, gleaming with divine radiance in front of him.
It was not good. It was not evil. It was the purest form of power, and it was waiting for him to choose how to wield it.
He took a deep breath and reached out a hand.
He was half expecting his fingers to pass through it, like it really was made of light; brilliant but insubstantial. Instead, the golden surface was smooth and surprisingly cool, like a polished shield left under the shade of a tree in high summer. He curled his fingers around the edge of its lower right facet and closed his eyes. He knew what his wish was.
All those people who had been controlled and killed by Agahnim and Ganon, just for their blood or their status or for daring to resist; they hadn't deserved to have their lives cut short. They should be able to live.
Family. Maidens. Royalty. Soldiers. A lonely tale of a failed hero, recounted by all with pity and resentment.
The Triforce pulsed beneath his fingertips, its glow flaring bright enough that it seemed to cut right through his eyelids and burn into his retinas. The cool material grew colder, his fingers going numb as the triangle turned to ice against his skin.
He didn’t dare let go.
The light grew until it illuminated everything, embraced everything, became everything. It settled over Link like a second skin, one made of hoarfrost and crystal, and his breath turned to snow in his lungs.
He wasn’t sure he’d be able to let go now, even if he wanted to.
Link felt as though his blood was freezing in his veins, sending ice rushing towards his heart and spreading out through his limbs. His eyes were still screwed shut, he was sure they were, but the world around him was pure white and glittering with colors he had never seen before and certainly couldn’t describe. He was everywhere and nowhere and somewhere that didn’t exist but was definitely solid beneath the worn leather soles of his boots.
He tightened his grip with fingers that he couldn’t see or feel but knew were there, still wrapped tightly around the Triforce. It seemed to be the only truly real thing that was left anymore, beating a steady rhythm in his chest to replace the heart that it had petrified, golden power pouring through his veins instead of blood. It grounded him, froze him, blinded him. It unmade time and space themselves before reweaving them into a newer and more complex pattern of kaleidoscope textures and colors and shapes.
The Triforce hummed, a sound that he couldn’t hear but felt reverberating through his very soul, thawing him from the inside out until his heart was pumping blood and his lungs were filling with air and his skin was warm again.
Link opened his eyes.
The room was the same as when he had closed them, with creeping vines clinging to the pockmarked walls and shattered stones littered across the equally ruined floor, the Master Sword still nestled atop the debris. The Triforce remained hovering in front of him, its blinding glow having faded back into a soft shine. It felt cool to the touch once more, no longer so cold it burned his flesh to the bone.
His eyes flicked towards his hand, still wrapped around the corner of the Triforce with a white-knuckled grip. It was unmarred, save for the streaks of dirt and blood left over from his battle with Ganon.
Nothing around him seemed to have changed, and yet…
A wish for the bearer.
Something very important had happened just then, something far greater than what he had thought he was wishing for, but Link couldn’t put a finger on what it could be.
He placed his other hand on the Triforce too, wondering if he would be able to move it around and examine it. He might be able to find out how the supposed wishes worked if he could take a closer look at the source. As soon as both his hands were laid on the Triforce, it flared brighter—though nowhere near as brightly as it had before—and began to melt.
He jerked back, watching in wide-eyed fascination as sharp edges blurred and ran together, becoming a floating cloud of liquid light that slithered its way down the fingers of his left hand. It pooled on the back of his hand, sinking itself into his skin and tracing out lines to form an image of itself there: three smaller triangles, placed corner to corner to form the larger one. The symbol shimmered like gold leaf against the smudged and dirty parchment of his skin for a few seconds before fading completely.
Link continued to stare at his hand long after the mark vanished, turning it slowly this way and that to see if the Triforce would reappear, if any glimmer of gold would show itself through his skin.
Nothing. It was almost as if there was never anything there at all, save for the unnatural coolness that had settled into his bones alongside the Triforce.
A wish for the bearer.
Link finally let his hand fall to his side, moving to scoop up the Master Sword. His body ached in protest at every movement, but he pushed through it as he straightened up and returned the sword to its sheath before heading towards the exit. He needed to get back home, needed to see if anything had changed. He needed to see if Uncle was back.
A second chance.
Time to go see if his wish had come true.
#loz fanfic#loz#alttp link#lu legend#fanfiction#legend of zelda#that one theory where alttp link's wish is what actually split the timeline#I need to add a tag for all my written things don't I#uh#sidekick writes stuff#that'll work
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Alright I did echo, time for his brother, Vibrato (name suggested by one of my friends)
TW: implied self harm
Echo's character sheet for context
Anyways Vibrato! Or Vi for short if you want. The oldest and the not dead one (ok ill stop) he was kinda always chill and a loner but it only got worse after echo died which lead him further to the path of necromancer aka Fucking with the dead and see what happens! He actually does get to socialize with the other sprunki kids tho having a dad like black/Mr.Hat kinda gives you a bad red tbh. (Especially when he basically inherited all the centipede body unlike his brother who got most of jevin's looks)
He carried around a doll made of his brother for ....reasons
He speaks to this doll like it's him (really helping the reputation there Vi)
This was his only what of talking to echo and so one day something pushed him to attempt to revive his brother using this doll. Unfortunately his brother had different plans ....idk how to describe so I'm just gonna role play a little scene here
Vibrato: Oh my dear brother your back! Your really bac-
Echo: yeah so uhh anyways, do you remember that one time where father killed all those people and spread darkness across the island or something?
Vibrato: . . . Yes? . . . . Echo are you high-
Echo: (with a dmug mischievous look) wanna see me recreate it?
Horror mode 2.0: electric boogaloo was born Yippe
Anyways this of course created some guilt as all he wanted was echo back and instead he got bunch of people dying. This drove him a bit as he decided to ...."blind" himself as a self punishment, he still lives however.
Right now Echo in horror mode 2.0: electric boogaloo, is basically a doll who looks exactly like his alive self, however if you pulled on his limbs hard enough doll fluff would come out...... I forgot to draw that so just imagine Vi accidently pulling on his bro's arm too hard and it comes off, that's basically that.
Also I should mention no his horn isn't broken cause of horror mode it was like that before hand he just covers it with his hat
Anyways finally got the sprites
Echo:
Vibrato:
Bonuses:
Echo w/o glasses and vibrato w/o his bandages
Also the doll I guess???
Bonus kinda but I do wanna shout out to @soundleer for THIS amazing art of Echo i really loved it (also I like there art so I definitely reccoment them lol)
Now if you'll excuse me I need to figure out how to make music so I can see how they would sound like together.
#i might make the other sprunki kids if i feel like it idk#i mainly did this too cause well one i like darkcult the most#and 2 i already had lore built around them#i do have some concepts for other sprunki kids tho i dont want them all to come from ships#i will do full body refrences of these 2 when i have the chance tho that i can promise!#art#digitalart#oc#oc art#sprunki incredibox#sprunki#black x jevin#jevin x black#darkcult#fankids#ship
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It’s so hard to focus on anything anymore. Everything is so heartbreaking. I hate these stupid uneducated countries governments supporting I$rael by backing them with millions to keep murdering. I hate they took our tax paying money to support them murdering more people. I hate all these companies supporting them with millions. I hate all these celebs supporting them and signing petitions in support of them. As long as all of these greedy fuckers have their dirty money, they don’t care. They willfully allow in the genocide of Palestine. Heartless.
Hearing how they’re now bombing journalists and their entire families in Palestine. Bombing hospitals, safe houses, and schools. Bombing where aid are trying to help the civilians in Gaza. How they warned Palestinian civilians they were going to bomb an area and told them to evacuate on specific roads, then they had the audacity to bomb where all those civilians went that was claimed to be safe. Tell me that wasn’t on purpose, a trap. How can anyone see this as anything but genocide?
I$rael is shoving so much propaganda at you all to try and make themselves look good. They aren’t! They are killing so many innocent people. So many children. So many babies. So many animals. And countless people are on tiktok laughing and happy that this is happening?????? How absolutely twisted do you got to be to praise the death of innocent lives especially children’s lives? Palestine has no running water, food, electricity, and army, yet they are seen as the threat???
This same kind of shit going on with Ru$$ia and Ukraine but ohhhh countries around cared about that and were quick to support Ukraine. Now why is that? Oh because they’re white. How can so many people UNDERSTAND the issue with this war but then be completely fucking stupid with I$rael and Palestine? Mindboggling.
How can anyone keep looking away from the issue? How can anyone be neutral about all of this? How can anyone willing support them? How can these people who cried about their own innocent children being harmed be JOYOUS that innocent Palestinian children are dying? They should UNDERSTAND the pain of not wanting kids hurt but they don’t care they take pride in it. They want the Palestinian children to suffer. How heartless do you fuckers have to be to DESIRE death upon children????? How little humanity does everyone have?????
How many damn Palestinian people have to die before people wake the fuck up and show an ounce of care??? We are seeing in real time the genocide of Palestine. This is not okay it was never fucking okay.
Please be informed. You can start here: https://uscpr.org
Educate yourself. Show compassion. Share the word of Palestinians. Do not let them be forgotten. From the river to the sea, Palestine shall be free. 🇵🇸
#free palestine#I’m so fucking upset about all of this#I hate how heartless and unempathetic so many are#UltySo Vents#is it so bad to want people to stop dying???????
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#tw vent#tw suicide#this is my diary#i cant stop crying its so annoying i start tearing up every other minute#nothing in my life is the way i want it to be#and i cant fix any of it#and i just feel horrible all of the time#i wish i would just die already#like.#im done here. ive nothing more to do#i wouldn’t really mind#i think i might be doing way worse than i have ever before because i cant stop or ignore things anymore#like i cant stop myself from saying it i cant bottle it up like before#i mean. i didnt even mean to admit to it but i fucking slipped up and said it earlier todsy#and suddenly the words ‘im doing bad’ slipped out of my mouth. which is crazy because i would never admit to anything like that.#its so scary to think about that im doing bad because that means im doing bad#wdym i would just give up wdym wdym wdym im. like thats not me its not me. its not me its not me thats not me#i feel like theres two uh idk brains inside me and the one that wants to live is being completely overstepped by the other one#i have so many feelings all the time and i still do but its also like. i dont care. like theyre somehwat muted or number now#and i dont think thats a good thing#also i feel horrible for admitting im doing bad because i know myself and i would never do that so im not me i cant be because me woulndt#and i feel bad that that worries people because as much as i feel like dying i wont do that and i know it sounds like i will but i wont#but i feel bad about making people worry#so pls dont worry because i Am doing fine. well. enough to live but like#i sound mentally ill
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I'm on an OC kick and also super indecisive so I spun a wheel (thank you for choosing for me, RNG).
Ricardo is a body guard and is bffs with Marlo. Ricardo's current job is watching after a celebrity's daughter who the public doesn't know even exists. She's just a teenage girl vibing with her mom and getting texts and calls from her dad (who loves her a whole lot and keeps her out of the spotlight very purposefully) and has this bodyguard and his weird friend. Marlo is just vibing with his best friend.
(Also Marlo would absolutely laugh if he heard Ricardo say "someone called me eye candy and it wasn't you and now I think you should call me that")
#my characters#i have an ask in my inbox that has me obsessively thinking about drawing fanart#but i just dont have the energy for what i want to draw for it#its been a rough day guys im dying (allergies and lacking sleep)#(why are allergies so bad today i ask after shoving my face into a cat while knowing im allergic to cats)#there are some prices i will always suffer and pay in life and the cat allergy is one of them you cant keep me away from a cat#im shoving my face in their fur and you CANT STOP ME FROM IT and also they kept bothering me#anyway i got to bed at like 6am after a lot of zoomies and restless legs and then#woke up with both cats in the guest bed with me and man i will not know peace for a few days#worth it tho bc i love them and i will take suffering if it means cattention#i dont really have much to say about the ocs tbh theyre just buddies being guys and then theres a teenage girl sometimes#and people suspect ricardo is her dad and she cant really say no my dads (celebrity) since thats the entire point of rico#so she makes sure its not troublesome for him to have people assume things like that and hes just#idc im in love with my best friend and hes not giving me any kids so not like anyone will start drama if im not with your mom#but he is also ! friends with the celebrity and his wife so he does just go on Family Outings with the wife and daughter#and sometimes marlo because the wife knows of him and invites him sometimes but she treats#rico and marlo like sons instead which is a bit weird to the daughter but she likes her weird fake brothers slash dad and question mark#marlo dyes his hair pink if that matters and has been doing so for a v long time
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Crying over gyu :(☹️ I love him😭
#his music taste 😩>>#he’d literally love Jeff Buckley I’ve been saying this for so long and also the carpenters#pls let me give you refs omg we have the same taste#also crying bc he’s literally the only pretty person ever#his hair ☹️😭😭😭#HIS MOLES#I LOVE HIS MOLES SO MUCH#Omg we both have a mole on the left near our mouth that literally means we’re soulmates 😍😍🤞#also him talking about how he doesn’t get why people judge people over mbtis#and saying how everyone is very different and he doesn’t judge people from the start like that SO TRUE#WHEN ARE THEY GOING TO STOP USING 16 PERSONALITIES IM SO SICK OF IT 😭😭😭#use cognitive funstions instead or soemthing 😭#I want to have deep conversations with beomgyu so bad like#he’d literally be the best person to have late night talks with im so upset he’s not my friend#ALSO WHEN HE LIKE SCOFFED AND SMIRKED AT SOOBIN AND SAID SOMETHING LIKE ‘YOU KIDDING?’#DYING WHY IS THE ONLY FINE PERSON TO EVER EXIST#I’m so in love with beomgyu 😭😭 I’m so upset idk him platonically curse the people who know him irl and are friends with him 😪😪
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One thing that has deeply annoyed me about the response from Americans/Westerners about this week's events in Korea is that a lot of them, including people I like and respect, are like, "The protesting civilians and lawmakers who barged into the National Assembly would've been shot if this were the U.S./this would've never happened in the U.S. because people are too afraid of being shot." There's some truth to that, at least with regard to state violence, but I'm fed up because it doesn't account for how frightening this could have turned out to be had it not been for how much of an inept flop dunce Yoon Sukyeol is. It minimizes the courage of those who showed up.
Sure, it was likely that the military and riot police wouldn't have done much (again, YSY's self-coup wasn't thought out well, and there's more evidence of that as military officials and soldiers are speaking up about the lack of information they received, but I'll refrain from talking about that to avoid making this even longer than it inevitably will be, knowing myself), but let's not pretend there haven't been issues with them in recent years. They pepper sprayed and used water cannons during an anniversary rally for the Sewol ferry victims (x) (x) (if you don't understand how unbelievably cruel that is, look into the horrific Sewol ferry sinking). They tear gassed crowds (Korea has a gruesome history of this) and sprayed water cannons, and citizens have been injured and killed during the 2015 protests and 2016-17 Park Geunhye impeachment protests, notably Baek Namgi, an elderly activist whose death caused global outrage (x) (x). Park Geunhye was going to enforce martial law during those protests according to a leaked document, with hundreds of tanks, thousands of soldiers and special force troops! (x)
Not to mention, there are decades of extreme state violence that have scarred an entire country and are still super fresh for a huge percentage of the population. Again, check out that tear gas history piece. Look up the April Revolution, Gwangju massacre, and June uprising and see just how bloody they were. Thousands of civilians were tortured and killed. Look at how many protests were going on year after year during the 1980s. That isn't that long ago! All those older people who ran to the National Assembly to stop the coup? You bet a lot of them were college students who protested during that time or knew people who did. All the younger people? They may not have experienced what it was like living under martial law, but as I said, state violence still occurs, however much it's dwindled over the years, and you have to account for generational trauma. I don't think I'll ever forget the way I felt when I saw the breaking news alert about the martial law declaration on December 3. I've never experienced that, at least to that degree.
Instead of viewing the response from civilians and elected officials through the framework of police brutality in the U.S., it should be contextualized using Korea's own history. Thankfully most of the serious discussions are doing this, but like I said, even people who are smart about reading up on things have reflected on how this wouldn't fly in the U.S., not because of the difference in protest history, civil movements, and public engagement with both in the two countries but because of the military/police response. There's an insinuation there that Koreans would be more reluctant to do what they did if they knew what it's like to live in fear of violence instead of living in such a safe country like Korea...and I want to yell.
It was monumentally brave of everyone to do what they did to stop the coup. We're all laughing at how stupid the coup was and there's a reason why people were more furious than scared because of the political history of Korea and the laws set in place to protect the democracy and neutralize coup attempts, but this could have easily become a disaster. It's not alarmist of me to say so because there was no way for anyone to be 100% sure of how the military would react—especially when no one knew what the hell was going on.
#i am...not vibing with these posts about how people are like 'omg those poor soldiers/good on them for dragging their feet'#yes mandatory military service means being there against your will#and i DO believe a lot of soldiers probably were super shaken or confused by what was going on#especially with the news coming out that soldiers weren't aware of what their mission was#to find out your orders and see your people look at you with rage disgust and maybe even fear especially as a young person...#i get that it's upsetting and you can tell that a lot of them didn't want to be there!#but lol are we forgetting there are people who weren't conscripts involved?#are we forgetting that people will follow directions if it's drilled into them to do say especially with the threat of retaliation?#are we forgetting that mandatory military service goes back decades#and amazingly soldiers and police still committed atrocities against civilians during previous protests or what?#idk i think it's your moral duty to engage in weaponized incompetence malicious compliance insubordination etc.#when you're asked to do something evil so i don't really want to praise people for being decent#even if i'm glad they did and i'm relieved they did it you know? but that's just me#omg sorry i'm ranting. ANYWAY! history in every single country has shown#how easy it can be for things to go south rapidly so while there were things that made the coup expire as quickly as it did#and it's HILARIOUS and i'm enjoying myself...it could have turned out very different#just a few wrong turns—just ONE wrong turn—and it could have been bad#rules and orders are good and all but if someone wants to commit violence they will do it#i'm just relieved i didn't have time to worry myself sick over this before it was all over lmao#so i can just feel a lot of pride and admiration for everyone doing their best to exercise and protect their rights#and do it with great panache and fun. the protests are like concerts! the protest songs are so funny#the signs!!!!! i'm dying over them. the number of people paying for food and drinks for the protestors#enough that businesses in the protest areas had to stop taking prepaid orders!#the older people who said they have to get to the front that night to protect all the young protestors with their bodies#in case the military tries to attack civilians! 😭 that part made me almost cry#the ajusshi who (drunkenly?) shouted how much he loved all his friends who came out to protest like the old days#democracy is fragile and we have to protect it#and i think korea right now is a shining beacon of the power of the people
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Something else that makes me sympathetic to Pharma's situation is like. Idk if there's an actual term for this or if someone smarter and more academic wrote it about some real life context that actually matters.
But, so we've already established among Pharma stans that the circumstances at Delphi were blackmail/torture with no real way out that wouldn't involve Pharma being responsible for people getting killed (either killing patients for the deal or having everyone die bc he failed his end of the deal).
And I feel like while "he's still in the wrong because he killed people" is part of it, another sort of implicit part is the idea that Pharma should've been willing to take more personal risk, maybe even risk dying? I mean, Ratchet does ask "why didn't you just detonate it near the DJD" (to which Pharma responds that he did try to get Sonic and Boom to do it, but they refused) so like
Idk I feel like we do have this social notion of martyrs as a very romantic ideal, people you can praise for being so brave and strong and righteous that they ended their own lives for their cause, while you can also coo about how sad and tragic it is that dying is what it took for them to do the right thing. But at the same time I feel like in reality, having an expectation that people become martyrs is kind of a toxic social norm bc like. It's very easy to demand that others sacrifice their lives for some Ultimate Moral Good when you yourself aren't experiencing the same hardships as they are. And ultimately it is kind of fucked up to tell someone "the moral thing you should've done was risk your life/kill yourself" because asking someone to pay their life to do the right thing is no small request. And sure, the typical response would be to call them a "coward" for caring more about saving their own skin instead of doing the right thing... but again, death is a really scary thing and self-preservation is a really strong instinct, so it kind of feels like having this binary view of "you're either a Brave Hero who sacrifices your life for everyone else or a Dirty Coward who's too scared of dying to do what's right" is kind of fucked up?
I guess the best way to describe it is that if someone willingly gives up their life as a sacrifice to others, it can be a noble thing because it's a choice they made willingly, but if it becomes a Moral Standard that in order to be a Good Person you have to be unafraid of throwing your life away and if you aren't willing to die you're a Cowardly Bad Person, that's when it becomes toxic.
Idk, I guess how this ties back to Pharma is that he was never in a position where he expected to make these kinds of moral decisions/ultimatums. He's a doctor who doesn't even get into combat, his job is to heal and not to kill, he's behind the front lines in a hospital that's supposed to be a safe, neutral place for him to heal people. So in the face of suddenly having a "murder people on behalf of me, or I murder everyone you swore to protect" ultimatum thrust upon him, I understand why Pharma wasn't """"""""""brave enough"""""""""" to "do the right thing" (whatever that would've been in the case of Delphi). You could argue that maybe a frontliner soldier accepted the burden of possibly dying for their cause and they've become used to it as someone who lives that reality every single day, but I feel like for Pharma, who's a doctor and a protected non-combatant (from what we can tell), that sort of risking of his life/living with the fact his life could be snuffed out any day isn't something he would've been prepared for at all.
And for me personally, from an outsider's perspective, it strikes me as kind of unethical to go "oh well he should've just detonated the bomb himself even if it killed him" bc again, there's a difference between witnessing a moral conundrum as a bystander versus being the person living with it and being under time pressure where it's do-or-die. Just as part of my personal standards, I feel like death is such a huge consequence/burden of someone's actions (literally you are no longer alive, any potential you had left is cut short, you cease to exist on this plane) that it feels rather callous to go "Well you should've just been willing to die for your beliefs if you really cared that much!!!"
#squiggposting#pharma apologism#this is only like tangentially related to pharma honestly#not to compare blorbos to real life but like. it reminds me of this phenomenon where privileged ppl in privileged countries#will tell ppl living in zones of war and strife 'oh well if you don't like your gov so bad just revolt against them'#like oh yes tell me how easy it is to stand up against the threats of torture and death#surely the only reason people would want to avoid that is bc they're cowards or don't want to stand up for their beliefs#contrary to what nationalism would have ppl believe. 'wanting to not die' isn't a moral position#everyone wants to live. no one wants to die. it doesnt make you a bad person to be scared of dying#esp (going back to blorbo's) in a situation like pharma's where every option he had ended in death#the death of his patients or the death of everyone at delphi or his death personally#on top of the fact he's a noncombatant who hasn't been desensitized to violence/risking his own life#and is dealing with a trained group of killers that he can't possibly match on physical terms#so yeah actually i don't blame pharma for what he did#he made shitty decisions in a shitty situation but was ultimately a victim#also if you want to view the blackmail deal from a framework of abuse#it is also fucked up to basically tell someone they werent brave enough to just kill their accuser or ask for help#isnt the entire point of such situations that the victim is both powerless to stop the abuse#and too afraid of asking for help/thinks they cant ask for help. and thats why they dont just get out#idk sometimes the best moral judgement is to forgive someone or view it as 'complicated'#sometimes regardless of the good or evilness of their actions the best choice is to not make a judgement#or to err in favor of a forgiving/'i cant speak for your experience' judgement#anyways the fact is that the rosy fantasy of being a brave noble soldier who sacrifices for the cause#rarely stands up to reality where youre just terrified and powerless and dont know what to do#and suddenly the rosy glow of The Noble Cause isnt comforting in the prospect of horrible torturous death
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you know it's bad when tumblr's being the more mature social media site when it comes to rancid takes on izzy's death
#ofmd#holy shit twitter's devolved into a battleground#what is WRONG with yall involving david jenkins in your beef#you dont have to like what happened but#how many fucking years in fandom does it take for people to learn to be civil#and not base their entire identities around characters so if anything happens to them it's a personal attack#that they then take straight to the creator#if a character dying causes you that much distress then that's a You problem and david fucking jenkins is not responsible#and he's not your therapist#and besides. just because something happened you didnt like doesnt mean it was a bad writing choice#but even if it were. you never have the right to make it anyone else's problem#i cant imagine having the gall#don't do this guys. the cast and crew are so lovely to us. don't make them stop interacting with us#people saying this show was a comfort show. or a safe space show or whatever. thats great for you#but it's not djenk's responsibility to cater to you and not his problem if the show doesn't meet your infinitely high expectations#he's telling a story. things will happen in those stories.#and it's actually p rare on tv that creators are getting to tell the story the way they want so personally im grateful#if you don't like his vision then don't watch it. you don't have the right to bully him. seriously whats wrong with you#cause yeah im sure con o'neill would love what youre doing huh#the fate of a fictional character is sliiiiiightly less important than being kind to people in the real world yknow#only tagging this so people can block for spoilers
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IF I GET ONE MORE ILL INFORMED AND INSECURITY BAITING INSTAGRAM REEL ABOUT HEALTH OR FOOD OR COOKING OR BUGS IM GOING TO DELETE THE APP FOREVER OMG STOP
#its so bad i just want pet videos!!!!! i dont need to be told everything that i do is bad for me and i need to keep 1000 things more in mind#this causes cancer this id bad have you tried cooking HAVE YOU TRIED COOKING THIS GREAT MEAL YOU LAZY FUCK WHY ARE YOU NOT COOKING#oh its because i'm disabled and a student living on my own THANKS FOR THE GUILT THO#i literally physically cant. if you want me to eat 'healthy' so badly why dont you come over to my flat and do it for me you shit#its insanely triggering for me like i was raised by an almond parents with a medical degree i cannot do this anymore#everything wants me to have an ed sooo badly but i refuse out of sheer spite you cannot get me you stupid fucks#i'm just so frustrated rn#so triggered#also the ocd#ugh#:(#i wish people would just stop with this 'pov did you know' thing when they dont even know what they're talking about OR just do it for the#anxiety factor views#many ppl feel better if they view this shit and it tells them that THEY are doing everything right instead of those silly lazy ppl#i dont need to CONSTANTLY be exposed to stories about people dying of food poisoning etc#just show me some cute dogs#tw ed#tw food#cw food#food#bugs#cw bugs#cw ed#tw caps#vent#personal#sage posting
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wait is. is zionism just the belief that jewish people should have a place to go should the world decide to kick us out and/or kill us all again. is that all it is. i haven't had the spoons for this for months so i haven't actually looked up the definition but like. is that seriously all it is
#and let's be clear: GENOCIDE IS BAD. i just don't trust that things won't get worse for us if we stop having somwhere to go#pine speaks#i don't know how to tag this im sorry#if you're an asshole on this post you're getting blocked btw. i trust my followers to be chill but not really anyone else#like . part of the reason so many jews die again and again through history is Nowhere Wants Us. nowhere will take us when we're being killed#which is the reason People Made A Place For Us To Go#and like while what the government of isreal is doing is fucking horrific#i don't Trust that getting rid of israel as a country will lead to anything but us fucking dying the next time everyone wants to kill us#genocide tw
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Its kind of wild how insane tweets have the ability to stick in my head I still can not get over that tweet I saw that called eddie (the shadow demon) misogynistic . What was up with that .
#the implication eddie was the one to mak ezato misogynistic like really truly amuses me so bad I cant stop thinking about that fucking tweet#people love to just say whatever about the assassins its really funny#what did eddie do to you. its just sitting there.#zato was the one who wanted to kill millia eddie was just dying can you be nice to it#txt
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lmao what the FUCK did I miss, dsaf fandom??
#lloyds meowing#me when im glad i stopped following orchestra or whatever the fuck it was omg#and that was just bc the vibes were awful. omg.#also to the person defendin them i checked your notes and babe.#theres so many victims of this goofy ahh tool#BUH BUH BUT. WHEN I LOOKED THROUGH THEIR BLOG I DIDNT FIND NOTHIN!! I SCROLLED AND SCROLLED girl stfu.#i didnt like that mf for how fucking. NASTY their attitude towards people is#'but its dsaf its a dark game' bitch its dayshift at fucking freddys.#you can get rickrolled by the goddamn bear animatronic AND you can go on a bad trip and kick balloon boy#its only serious if youre actually fucking trying to get a good ending#most of the endings in dsaf 3 alone are jokes. dying of old age after kicking davetrap out n saying nah??#the multiple times that orange asshole can go to jail OR get killed in comical ways#wah wah wah its not a healthy workplace relationship HENRY LOBOTOMIZED HIS BUSINESS PARTNER?! HELLO????#some of you people are so fucking insufferable im actually actively losing braincells.#yknow what.#lloyds hissing#fuck you smh im about to start doing my own fuckin thing without having to worry abt some annoying ah bitch crying abt what things i ship#girl you want people to be mad at n ridicule go find those lil weird fucks writing incest.#bc theres a lotta them im still fucking blockinf#blocking** but yeah fuck yall smhsmh some of you are cool#but some of you make me wanna drink until my liver turns so hard into a raisin that my great great grandchildren are gonna have issues.
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