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thesensteawitch · 3 months ago

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Message From Spirit Animals 🐢💚🌳

Pick A Pile Tarot

(Left to Right- Pile 1, Pile 2, Pile 3)

Hello, lovely Senstea Souls!💟

I hope you're all doing well. This is another collective tarot reading so take what resonates and leave what doesn't.

If you wish to book a tarot reading with me then I'm mentioning the links for the same below:

Booking Form • Rate Card

🐢💚🌳🐢💚🌳🐢💚🌳

Pile 1

You're in your feels pile 1. Trust me, the pain is in the past. And you know that. Some of you are allowing yourself to feel grief for one last time.

Stingray💚: You've made some right choices over and over again. Good job on standing firm on your beliefs and boundaries. A celebration is coming your way as you're manifesting something new. You've never experienced this kind of blessing in the past, but you've definitely wished for it. You've become a magnet for aligned opportunities/communication, and I know you don't see it manifested in your reality yet, but it's approaching you very soon. Like, VERY soon.

Frog💚: This spirit animal wants you to fully step into your power. Don't run away from feeling too deep, as this time you won't drown. It seems that you've got your feet in two different worlds because you don't want to let go of your safety net. If you don't let go, you won't fully be able to experience your blessings. Trust the cosmos.

Dragonfly💚: You're too busy finding faults, and Dragonfly wants you to look at the brighter side of things. Your life was meant to unfold the way it did. Nothing more could be done. Rather than changing your story, accept it. Honor it. Find meaning in your journey. Don't blame yourself or anybody for how it panned out.

Overall message🌳: You understand that you're yearning for something that makes you feel the lack of it, and you know this isn't helping. Stop looking at things from thousands of angles and finding ways that life will never favor you. Don't sabotage yourself into believing you've a long way to go. No, you don't. You've come a long way. It's time for you to let go of the old version of you completely and let this new version shine bright.

Pile 2

This pile reminds me of freedom. Your energy is so well put. This powerful person you've turned into is all due to the pain you've gone through. You have gone through some major endings in the past. For some of you, it's regarding a person, so if you still wonder if the story is over? Your answer is yes, it's over.

Camel💚: Water is important for you. I feel that you've got a lot of heat in your body and even rage. You're peaceful unless provoked. You're self-reliant and self-sufficient. The camel is here to remind you that you may have had to go through some major challenges for years, but it takes you only a few weeks to recover from them. Do you see that??? Isn't that beautiful? You guys are quick learners. I feel some of you were with someone for years but fell out of love as soon as you saw how incompatible you two were. It took you some time, though. Anyway, you're shining, pile 2. You're glowing. Just stay hydrated to glow even more!

Gazelle💚: Gazelle wants to tell you that it's so proud of you for turning your pain into wisdom. It wasn't easy for you to isolate yourself with the abandonment wound you had. But you did it. Gazelle wants you to never look back at all, as you've already learned your lessons. There's no more to learn. It's time you eat well. I hear something about weight loss. Maybe you've lost weight or want to lose weight. It's time you take care of your body and move it a little. I hear, “graceful moves.” Try slow dancing or yoga. As you're a sensitive being, you need some extra care. And hey, “the old chapter's been burned.” Move on happily.

Firefly💚: Here I feel that your intuition is trying to tell you something, but you're blocking it. You're emotionally intelligent but do have a bit of trust issues because of your past (not gonna blame you, though). There's silence between you and someone you're meant to be with. Maybe you know them or don't know them at all (it seems that you've met them in your past life). Another thing that I'm seeing here is that you're still figuring out what you were made for. You're being encouraged to restart working on an old passion. This is a gift that you just couldn't work on because of mental blockages. But it's changing now.

Overall message🌳: Your wisdom isn't dangerous; it's powerful. I watched a movie yesterday, and there was a beautiful dialogue in it that goes like this: “Your difference is your POWER!” Do not be afraid to stand out and speak your truth. If you keep doing what the whole world is doing, then you'll lose your essence. An exciting new beginning is headed your way after what you lost. And it's happening all because you have been doing well in the school of life.

Pile 3

As you've surrendered by being backstabbed in ways you never imagined, do you realize that you pushed too hard to make something work? However, the universe is about to return the rewards of your efforts from a different source.

Black Egg💚: I know it feels like your prayers are not being answered. Things have been moving slowly, and there has been slow progress materially. It's because you doubt your work, especially your words. It's time to trust in your age-old wisdom and not look for validation from the outside world. You've got a lot to be grateful for; you just need to shift your focus from what isn't working out to what is. Talk to yourself about it and be honest.

Cosmic Egg💚: In slowness you channel the wisdom from the ethers. You have access to an abundance of knowledge. Allow your lower chakras to accept and trust the messages you receive. Go slow and be patient; you're about to be massively blessed. If water comes with force, it will cause havoc; similarly, the more you rush, the more you mess up. If the flow of water is slow and steady, it's going to help nourish the mother earth. The universe has something special to gift you and bless you with. You deserve it. Also, spend more time in nature.

Beaver💚: Water and Earth are prominent in your reading. Financial blessings are coming your way. Your heart will feel satisfied with what you're about to receive. What you're about to receive is going to be your justice. As you've been at the rock bottom, you deserve to be at the top too because you never gave up! You've been doing what you felt was your calling and what the universe wanted you to do. Not a lot of people care about their purpose but their sense of security. If you did what the universe told you to or allowed the cosmos to have control of your life while you focused on your karma, then you're about to receive what you deserve. Everything is going to balance out. If you've been looking for a home or a place for yourself, you'll have enough to afford it.

Overall Message🌳: The tough cycle has ended. It's time for you to receive your blessings as you've learned enough by spiraling from lesson to lesson. Bees may be significant for you. Some of you may have been as busy as a bee.

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sissylittlefeather · 1 month ago

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Slowly but Surely: A Lonnie Beale Story

A/N: I know we're all patiently waiting for the last couple chapters of If You Talk In Your Sleep, but I needed a brain break. So I wrote this idea which I've had for a very long time. This one is for Lonnie Beale from Tickle Me. If you've never seen the movie, it takes place at a weight loss ranch for women. That's pretty much all you need to know.

Warnings: 18+ minors DNI, regular smut (oral, p in v, creampie), but also BODY IMAGE AND THE READER HAS AN EATING DISORDER

Also, disclaimer, as a licensed therapist and ED survivor myself, I KNOW that love cannot cure eating disorders. This is FANTASY. If you need help, please find a professional! You deserve to be healthy and well!

Word count: ~4k

Your father was the one that decided you'd never find a decent husband in your current state. You're an heiress to a pretty impressive hotel fortune, but you've always been a little more on the soft side. Not exactly overweight, but not as thin as most of the girls around you either. So in order to make you worthy of the kind of man you should catch, he sends you to the Circle Z ranch to whip you into shape.

It doesn't seem to be working, though. You follow the diet and do all the exercises, but you're still not 36-24-36. When you go home for a weekend, your father comments that it's probably a waste of money and there's not much hope for you anyway. That pisses you off. If everyone else at the ranch can do it, so can you. You'll just have to work a little harder.

And that's exactly what you do. You stop eating almost completely, even the tiny portions they offer you. Between that and the extra workout classes you do, you start to see a little progress. Before you know it, your waist is down to 27” and you feel like you just might be okay. You're miserable, weak and starving, but you look pretty good.

Lonnie has been working at the ranch for a couple of months now. At first, he had the hots for the yoga instructor, but it didn't take him long to realize she doesn't have much substance, mentally or physically. And the owner of the ranch has been after him since she hired him, but the interest in her burned out pretty quickly too. He needs more, a whole woman, and unfortunately there's not many of them at the ranch. He tries to just focus on his duties: working with the horses, teaching archery, and singing periodically.

The first time he saw you, he noticed how pretty and soft you seemed, but as the time passed, you started to wither away just like the rest of the girls there. He clicked his tongue and shook his head, such a waste, but didn't think too much of it. Not until the day you pass out.

You've got the bow held up okay, the arrow pulled back, but you're shaking from the lack of food and your vision is a little fuzzy around the edges. Still, you try to do your damndest to focus on the target. You hear Lonnie as he gives instructions and sigh. For a second when you first met him, you had thought he liked you, but the conversation had tapered off. Now he's just another person that you're pretty sure you've disappointed somehow.

“Keep those arms straight, ladies.” His mellow baritone is close by, but you don't dare look. Instead, you readjust and straighten your arm, but both of your hands are shaking so much you can't hold the bow still. You're staring at the target, waiting for him to tell you to let the arrow fly when your vision starts to go dark. You let go and send the arrow flying before he says to and you hear him holler as everything blacks out and you feel yourself falling.

Lonnie turns quickly when he hears you loose the arrow and it takes him less than half a second to realize what's happened and catch you just before you hit the ground.

“Woah! Honey!” He has you in his arms when he realizes you're unconscious. Carefully holding you, he lowers to the ground with you in his lap and starts patting your cheek. “Come on, honey. Lemme see those pretty eyes. Come on.”

Eventually, your eyelashes flutter and you look up at him. He sighs and relaxes noticeably. Even he didn't realize how afraid he was until after you woke up.

“Hey, sweetheart. You scared the shit outta me. You alright?” The other girls have all gathered around the two of you where he sits with you in his arms. You can't say anything, so you just blink up at him weakly. One of the other girls scoffs enviously.

“Bet she just hasn't eaten today. She never eats.” He looks up at her, his eyebrows knit together in concern.

“What d’you mean never?” His voice is firm and quiet.

“I mean I'm not sure I've ever seen her put food in her mouth.” The girl crosses her arms, obviously annoyed that he seems to care so much. He looks back down at you, gently brushing your hair back off of your face.

“When was the last time you ate, honey?” You try to give him a small smile.

“I'm not sure.” He shakes his head, frustrated. Then he stands up, hoisting you into his arms, shocked by how little you weigh. He tells the other girls to clear out and then walks with you to the stables. You're not sure why he's bringing you there, but you're too weak to protest or ask. He sets you on a small bale of hay and then starts looking for something, muttering and cursing under his breath. You hear something about “this damn place” before he comes back to you with a jar of peanut butter and a spoon. He opens it and scoops some out for you and you wrinkle your nose. Not only is it unnecessary calories, it's in a barn.

“Don't make that face, honey. This is mine. I keep it in here as a snack while I work. Come on. It's good.” You continue to stare at him like he's trying to give you horse peanut butter, so he pops the spoon in his mouth and eats it himself. Then he gets another scoop and holds it up to you. “There. See? It's good. Please eat it.”

His mouth is sticky with his bite as he talks, but you soften and nod. Your hand shakes as you reach for the spoon and he beats you to the punch, just holding it to your lips like you're a baby. Too tired to fight any more, you open your mouth and let him feed you the spoonful of peanut butter. It's been so long since you've eaten, it tastes almost decadent and you moan softly with the pleasure of the taste.

Something about your little moan shoots straight through him and he clears his throat, trying to focus on getting more peanut butter into you. Still, as he squats next to you, his eyes glued to your lips, he feels himself harden in his too-tight pants. He ignores it, shoveling spoonfuls into your mouth as often as you'll let him. After three, you shake your head no. There's too many calories in peanut butter, too much fat. But he's not having it.

“Come on, honey. You can do a couple more. You're doin’ so good, baby. Open up.” The way he's sitting so close, his knee bumping yours, caring for you, makes you incapable of telling him no. Instead, you pop your mouth open like a baby bird and eat two more bites. You feel some of your strength coming back, but your hands still shake.

He puts the spoon in your mouth again and tries desperately not to whimper when it slides out from between your lips. He's already hard as a rock when he notices there's a little bit of peanut butter by your mouth. Without thinking, he licks his thumb and wipes it off. You let out a sharp little gasp and he freezes. He's absolutely desperate to kiss you, but it would be wrong. You're still weak and trembling. Instead, he carefully brushes his thumb across your bottom lip, so soft and slow that it's barely within his control.

And then your little tongue darts out and flicks against the tip of his thumb and he's utterly destroyed.

“Jesus, sweetheart.” He stands up and turns away quickly to hide the way his cock presses against the denim of his pants. “Fuck!”

“I-I'm sorry.” You stutter and blink, not exactly sure what you've done. He moves quickly back to your side, kneeling and shaking his head vehemently.

“No. Don't you apologize. You are perfect. I just hate what they've done to you.” You knit your eyebrows together.

“Done to me?”

“Makin’ you think you need to starve when you were perfect when you got here.” You make a face.

“I was f-”

“You were perfect.” He looks so deeply into your eyes that you get lost in the blueness of them for a bit. You don't even notice he's leaning in until he's so close that you let out a little squeak. He pulls back and stands up again, running his hand through his hair.

“God, sweetheart, I'm sorry.”

Just then, the owner of the ranch comes bustling in to make sure you're not about to sue her. She looks at you and then at Lonnie and then back at you and purses her lips.

“Come on. Up you get.” She says it in a sing-song voice like she's being kind, but really she's just as jealous as the other girls were. Lonnie tries to protest, but she puts a finger on his lips. “She's fine. Thank you Mr. Beale.”

She yanks you up by the arm and escorts you out of the barn, leaving him standing there annoyed. He watches as you leave and decides then and there that you're his to save.

******

The first time he taps on your window in the middle of the night, you think it's one of the ghosts the townspeople are always going on about. But then you look and realize it's Lonnie. You glance over at your roommate snoozing away in her bed with her eye mask on and sneak out the front door quietly. There's a little patio table and chairs on your porch and he sits there with you, setting a greasy paper bag down in front of you.

“Here you go, princess. Eat up.” He smiles widely, like he's done you the best favor ever. You look in the bag and find a cheeseburger and some french fries. They smell so good you want to cry, but you know you can't give in.

“Oh, Lonnie. You're real sweet, but I can't.” His smile falls a little and he realizes that you're not just starving because the camp isn't feeding you. You're starving by choice. His jaw clenches and he looks like he's ready to fight someone.

“Honey, why are you doin’ this?” His voice is quiet and strained, like he's holding back. You look down at your hands in your lap and swallow the lump in your throat.

“I have to. I still have 3 more inches to lose if I ever want a man to want me–”

“Lemme stop you right there, sweetheart.” He tips your chin with his finger so that you have to look him in the eye. “Any man who thinks you need to starve yourself to be worth wantin’ is not a man worth havin’.”

“Lonnie–”

“I mean it!” He says it a little louder than he means to and then lowers his voice to a whisper. “I don't know who put it in your head that you need to change to be loved, but they're lyin’. You were beautiful and soft and healthy when you got here and I–”

Your eyebrows shoot up and he stops himself. “You what?”

“I would've loved to love you.” There's a moment of silence and tension and his eyes flick down to your lips. You're beside yourself with disbelief, convinced he must be saying all this for some yet-to-be revealed reason, a joke or a bet or something. He sighs deeply and pushes the bag of food toward you again.

“You gotta be hungry, sweetheart. Please eat. For me?” You sigh and dig out a few french fries. The second the first one hits your tongue, you let out a little whimper and close your eyes. They taste so damn good.

Lonnie can't stop the grin that spreads across his face as he watches the joy with which you eat. Something about you warms him in a way he hasn't ever experienced before. He pulls the cheeseburger out and holds it up to you. You shake your head and he takes a bite.

“You sure? It's good.” He waves it in front of your face again and wiggles his eyebrows. You giggle and take a tiny bite. It is so good.

That night he manages to get you to eat a handful of fries and three bites of burger. When he goes to leave, he wants to kiss you so badly it physically hurts, but he doesn't want to mess with his goal to get you healthy again. Instead, he nods awkwardly and heads to his place.

******

Over the next month and a half, Lonnie brings you food in the night. It starts slow, every third or fourth night, but by the end of it he's coming every night. In the beginning, you nibble on what he brings you, french fries and sandwiches and pizza and milkshakes, but by the end you're eating well and smacking his hands when he steals bites.

Your ability to eat isn't the only thing that grows. The tension between the two of you is palpable as you laugh and flirt and almost kiss more times than you can count. Somewhere around week four, your roommate goes home and it's just you in your little cabin, so he barely even has to sneak anymore.

He watches the color come back into your cheeks as they round out a little and your curves start to be noticeable again. His hands almost ache with the desire to touch you and more than once he finds himself thinking of you afterwards, his grip tight and pumping as he moans your name into the gray light just before sunrise.

With every meal you become a little more yourself. Your quick wit and smart mouth come back now that your brain is getting enough calories. You might be exhausted from the lack of sleep, but you don't care. Lonnie visiting you makes you feel better than anything else ever has. Sometimes you wonder if maybe there's more between you than just friendship, but he never does anything more than kiss your cheek before he leaves.

Everything is going well until you step on the scale and realize the numbers have gone the wrong direction by a lot. You stand and look in the mirror, pinching the parts you don't like. Your stomach is soft and your thighs touch again. Disgusting. The tears burn hot in your eyes and you want to take a surgeon’s knife to your body. Who could ever love this version of you? You decide you're never eating again.

By the time Lonnie shows up with a pizza, you've worked yourself into a pretty decent rage. This is his fault. Him with his burgers and fries and false validation. He did this to you and you're not even sure why. You could kick yourself for letting him derail you.

“Hiya honey! Pizza tonight!” He walks into your little house and then turns, sensing the tension. “What's wrong?”

“What's wrong?! Lonnie, I'm as big as I was when I got here!” He stares at you trying to figure out why that's a bad thing.

“Yeah? You look–”

“Huge! I look awful, Lonnie and it's your fault!” The tears start to cut hot pathways down your cheeks. “Why did you do this to me?”

He sets the pizza on the table and walks over to you. “Honey, all I did was help you–”

“Help me get fat again?! Why?!”

“Sweetheart, I told you–”

“Don't you dare say that you like me like this. That's a lie and you know it.” His eyes flash with something dangerously close to anger.

“Is it?! You think I’ve just been bringin’ you food for fun? You think I ain’t been sittin’ on my hands every night, just dyin’ to touch you? Jesus Christ, baby!” He's yelling now, pacing the room like some kind of caged animal. He stops and turns, cupping the side of your face with his hand. “I want you so bad I can barely see straight.”

You look up at him with your eyes shiny and wet, searching his for evidence that this is all some big practical joke. But all you find there is sincerity. It confuses you and makes you doubt yourself even more. Your next words come out quiet, steady but firm.

“Prove it.”

“Prove it?” He takes a step closer so that his body is almost touching yours.

“Prove it.”

His lips crash into yours so hard it almost hurts and his hands move to your hips, pulling you so close to him you can feel his whole body where it presses against you. The kiss builds in heat and intensity as your tongues tangle and his hands roam over all of your curves. His lips move down to your jaw, your neck, your collarbone, and he lays you on your little bed softly. He starts to unbutton your pajama top and presses kisses to the soft swell of your breasts. As he does, he murmurs against your skin.

“Women are supposed to be soft. Not all angles and bones. Soft and warm and round.” His right hand slides up to cup your breast, his thumb swiping across your nipple, as he works the other one with his mouth. He lets his tongue flick over it as it hardens for him and your back arches as you moan softly.

The buttons on the rest of your pajama top don't stand a chance as he rips it open, pressing hot, open-mouth kisses onto the soft flesh of your stomach. You cringe and instinctively try to cover yourself with your hands. He pulls back and shakes his head, moving your hands firmly but gently.

“No, baby. Don't hide from me. I've been dyin’ to see you, worship you, let you know what you do to me just by existing.” He laces his fingers in between yours and then bends over again, kissing your belly softly. “You're perfect. This is perfection.”

Some small part of you starts to believe that maybe he is telling the truth as he moves his hands to your waist and sucks on a spot just above your hip. Your hands go to the back of his hair and he moans.

“I could worship this part of you forever, honey.” He kisses back to the center, just below your belly button. “But I need to taste you.”

You moan softly as he hooks his fingers into the waistband of your shorts and panties and pulls them down together. But before he dives in, he spends time dragging his lips along the insides of your thighs, squeezing them with his hands as he goes. When he finally does push them apart and spread you open, he groans at the sight of you glistening for him.

“You have a beautiful body. I'll never get enough of it.” He says the last part so reverently that it's almost like he's saying a prayer. That thought is fleeting, though, as he drags his tongue up your center and settles at your clit, making slow deliberate circles. He alternates between sturdy licks and sucking on you gently and soft little flicks. You feel your release start to gather low in your abdomen and he pulls back a little. “Pretty little clit. Matches the rest of you.”

He slips two fingers up inside where you're already slick and ready for him. He pumps them in and out before tickling you, feeling your walls flutter around him. You whimper and moan and his name falls from your lips like honey.

“Lonnie… oh god…”

“Come on, beautiful. Cum for me.” He says it half as a plea and half as a command, but it works perfectly and your body shudders as it comes unraveled on his tongue. He works you through it as the blood rushes through you like lightning. You gasp and shiver and he kisses your clit one last time before he makes his way back up your body, his big hand settling on the soft curve of your stomach. “Now do you believe me?”

You don't even answer, you just tear at his clothing, undoing buttons and zippers and everything else until he's as naked as you are. He presses his thigh up between yours and groans as you rub your wet center against him, your hips rolling deeply. You feel his cock where it presses against your hip, heavy, hard, and already leaking for you.

He pauses for a second, looking down at you underneath him, laid out and soft. And there's so much more than lust. His heart pounds and his mouth goes dry and it's like he’ll lose the ability to breathe if he's not inside you soon. He exhales shakily and leans his head forward on your shoulder.

“Fuck.” He's in love with you.

“What? Lonnie, are you okay?” You ask, gently stroking the back of his hair.

“Yeah, just, I've never… fuck.”

“Never what?” You whisper, suddenly scared. He lifts his head off your shoulder and looks into your eyes.

“I love you, honey.” It comes flying out of him before he can stop it and you sit there in stunned silence for a while.

“I love you, too, Lonnie.” Your voice is soft and shaky, but you know it's true. No man has ever made you feel this wanted, this beautiful just the way you are. He looks at you like you're the most precious thing on earth and then kisses you so deeply that it's like his soul touches yours. Then, he rearranges to be between your legs and lifts one of your thighs to wrap around his waist. When he pushes inside you, every doubt and fear you've ever had about your body fades away for the moment and there is only you and him and the sensation of him opening you like you were born to be wrapped around him. He moans softly and then starts to move, slowly at first and then building up speed and intensity.

“Oh god, baby. You feel so goddamn good, taking me so well. You are perfect.” His hips snap against yours and you could cry with how good it feels when he fills you up. His breath is hot on your skin as he pounds you. “I love– fuck– I love you.”

His hand is solid on your thigh and his fingers press into your skin. He revels in the softness of you as he feels his orgasm gather at the base of his cock. You whimper and gasp and squeeze him as another climax washes over you.

“Lonnie!” His name drips from your lips like a prayer as you shudder around him. He bites his lip and grunts.

“So close, baby. Fuck!” He groans as he holds himself still while he pulses and spills his warmth inside you. Your skin is damp with sweat and you both breathe heavily in the aftershocks of pleasure. Eventually, your heart rates return to normal and he settles on your chest with your hand in his hair. You enjoy the comfortable silence for a while, just being together in blissful harmony. When he speaks, his voice is soft and filled with adoration. “You believe me now?”

He lifts his head up to look you in the eye.

“Yes.”

“No more starving?” You shake your head with tears in your eyes.

“Never again.”

“Good. Need you strong to follow me on the rodeo circuit.” You giggle and kiss his forehead.

“The rodeo circuit?” He nods sleepily.

“Mhmm. We're gettin’ the hell out of here first thing in the morning.”

“We?”

“Yeah baby. I thought you were mine to save. Turns out you're mine to love. As long as you'll have me.” You smile softly as he kisses you.

“Forever, then.”

“Forever.”

******

The End

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

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femmefatalevibe · 2 years ago

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Femme Fatale Guide: How To Learn To Love Yourself & Heal From Toxic People

Allow yourself to feel all your emotions and thoughts, authentically and without self-criticism or judgment: Acknowledge that you're grieving. Accept that you need to mourn your loss. Even if it is better to move on in life without these people, it is healthy and completely valid to grieve the relationships you had with these people – regardless of whether they were one-sided, deluded, or otherwise toxic. Allow yourself to cry, be angry, lie in bed, etc. Hit a pillow, sleep in all day on a weekend, or wear a set of pajamas for a WFH day. Give yourself permission to engage in self-soothing behaviors without any type of self-harm or self-sabotage.

Rest, relax, and pamper yourself in your leisure time: Spend time taking it easy – reading, watching TV, doing a face mask or another indulgent skin treatment, using a body massager, cooking dinner in a silk robe and slippers, lighting a candle, cozying up in a blanket, etc. Allow yourself to feel at peace. Create a sanctuary in your space.

Take time for introspection and self-discovery: Being in any type of relationship with toxic people is draining and can cause you to feel as though you've lost a part of yourself by trying to make the relationship succeed. Now, it's time to reclaim yourself after you've courageously cut out these toxic people from your life. Consider and honor your deepest desires, values, interests, hobbies, lifestyle, goals, aesthetic, food, sexual, entertainment preferences, etc. Go on a self-discovery journey to figure out who you really are, what you believe, and who you will work to become as you enter this new, exciting chapter of your life.

Journal, read, eat healthily, work out, drink plenty of water, and sleep: Go back to the basic healthy habits. Try to journal for at least 5-10 minutes a day (using a 5-minute journal, morning pages [writing 3 pages of stream-of-conscious thoughts first thing in the morning], journal or shadow work prompts), make 2-3 whole food, plant-based meals with carbs, veggies, fruits, proteins, and healthy fats, find some ways to incorporate movement into your day – 30-minute walk or yoga session is enough if that's all you can manage consistently, have your body weight in ounces of water daily, and sleep for around 7-8 hours a night. Do some inner child healing by taking care of your core needs.

Indulge in all of your favorites: There's a lot of fun you can have when you have total freedom regarding your daily activities and choices. Give yourself permission to enjoy this solitude. Wear your favorite outfits every day (occasion-appropriate options, of course), including pajamas, loungewear, lingerie, and accessories. Make your favorite meals and snacks throughout the week (incorporating some healthy options in there to feel your best – I love a good oatmeal bowl, frozen grapes, baked Japanese sweet potato, or a hummus and vegetable plate). Watch your favorite TV shows or movies. Indulge in a glass of wine you love or reread a favorite book. Create a masterful playlist. Plan a day of your favorite activities (a long walk, getting a coffee, indulging in a spa day, going to a farmer's market, going to a yoga class, etc.) Treat yourself like your own best friend.

Get comfortable doing things alone: Honestly, no one cares or is paying attention to if you're doing activities alone or with someone else. If someone shows too much interest in your solitude, they're probably projecting their own insecurities regarding their perceived social ridicule. Take yourself shopping, to the nail salon, out for a meal, to the movies, etc. alone. Personally, I love doing most of these things alone anyways. Running errands alone gives you some space to clear your mind and think freely.

Define what an ideal social life and/or relationship looks like for you: Once you've become comfortable with yourself and living life on your own terms, it's time to embrace your desire for human connection and socialization. Consider the types of people you want in your life – their values, personalities, interests, goals, favorite activities, relational boundaries, etc., and where/when/how often you want to interact with them.

Create an action plan: Reconnect with the people in your life who continue to show up for you and have been a light through these toxic relationships and their lasting effects over the months or years. Decide on the places, groups, and ways you'll reach out/try to meet these people. Figure out how to expand your network, and make new connections. Don't be afraid to put yourself out there. You won't vibe with everyone you meet, but it is worthwhile to engage in small talk with several strangers if even one of these new faces, later on, becomes a good friend or acquaintance. A varied social circle is a great way to enrich your life.

Take small steps, then strides: Be gentle on yourself throughout this entire process. It is perfectly okay to take one day at a time during the grieving process. Everyone's healing journey will look different and evolve at a different pace. Don't let these toxic people remain in your heart, mind, and spirit. Remember that you deserve love, kindness, happiness, success, peace, and patience.

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lovelybunn · 10 months ago

Text

conditioning .ㅤ- feat. soldier

warning(s): smut (under the cut), reader is afab, rough/hardcore, slight(?) degrading

author's note: happy fourth of july to my fellow americans! 🇺🇸🦅

The soldier's words pierce through the silence, echoing throughout the room. “Get your ass up, maggot! I know you can try harder than this!” You can feel his breath on the back of your neck as the timer in his hand continues to tick. You fucked up getting the intel, so now he's punishing you for causing “the whole teams’ loss.” (Everyone was doing poorly that day, you specifically weren't the only one to blame.) Right now the man has got you down in a plank position, making you sit there for 2 minutes straight. Your abs and knees have failed you, so inevitably, you collapsed, which is why the soldier is currently screaming at you at the moment.

"Don't you think this is a bit excessive?" you mutter weakly, your voice strained from the exertion. Every time you give out, he stops his timer. The soldier's response was immediate and unwavering. "Don't you dare question my discipline technique, private! This is nothing compared to what I could make you do.” This was enough to get you back on track since you had no interest in finding out whatever was worse than this in the soldier's book. You grit your teeth, your body trembling with fatigue as you get up to continue to hold the plank.

The soldier doesn't seem to care about your torment, however, and continues to yell at you and humiliate you in front of the rest of the team. “This isn't yoga class, cupcake! Get your ass out the air!” You wonder if this is some sort of power trip or if he just wants you to break down and beg for mercy. Either way, even from the corner of your eye, you can see that shit-eating sadistic smirk on the man's face.

The demoman lets out a loud, audible burp. His words are slurred as he speaks, “Ach, don't be so hard on the lad, they're fresh, Solly!” A loud crash is heard next as he stumbles off the bench, the medic and heavy swiftly catching him and carrying him off to his room. “Heavy thinks you shouldn't be so hard on alcohol, but we all know that won't happen.” All three men let out a hearty laugh as they exit the room, their shoulders slumped from the weight of their drunkard friend.

The scout saunters over next to the soldier in front of you, his sneering face looking down at you as he bends over to tilt your head up with his bat. The scout can't contain his laughter at your suffering, having been dominated at least three times less than you during the game, making it where he doesn't have to go through this. You scowl up at him, your body aching from the intense workout. The scout laughs, "Sucks to be a loser, huh? Wonder why Pauling even got you on this team—" His snarky remark is interrupted by the engineer, who yanks him by the ear and grumbles an agitated warning. "Get your ass on and mind your own business, boy. Come on," The engineer drags the scout out of the room, the younger man whining and yelling out retorts as they leave. The others have already left, leaving you and the soldier alone in the locker room.

Your head falls down to focus on the ground, silently hoping that you're at least halfway done. The soldier's piercing, silver-blue eyes look down at you, silently observing as he slowly circles around you. You can hear the rhythmic echo of his feet against the cool tile floor of the locker room. After a few moments, he finally speaks up, grunting out, "Twenty-five seconds." He comes to a stop and stands right in front of you, his eyes still fixed on your trembling, sweaty body.

You grunt out in relief, "Thank goodness!" You close your eyes and count down the remaining seconds in your head, feeling the burn in your muscles becoming more intense by the second. You force your spine to stay straight, your body begging for the torture to end. The soldier's voice thunders loudly in your ears:

"6...5...4...3...2...Time!”

You grunt out in triumph as you fall flat on the cold tile, its surface a stark contrast to the burning heat of your skin. Yet, the feeling of relief is quickly replaced by shock and discomfort when the soldier kicks you and forces you to get back up.

“Rise and shine, soldier! Stand tall and proud like the true powerful American you are!” he cries out, his voice filled with pride and patriotism. You groan and struggle to your feet, feeling exhausted and mildly irritated. You try to protest when he suddenly grabs you by the waist with a sudden burst of force, his hot lips pressing against yours in a passionate kiss. You gasp and freeze in place, struggling to understand what's happening. With your lips parted, he dominates your mouth with his tongue, tasting you with intense demand. After a few moments, he pulls away from you, grinning at your confused expression. “I like you. You're my favorite out of all these other maggots.” His smile widens into a smirk, sending a chill down your spine. “You've got a great body and strong grit. I like that.” Before you can even muster up a response, he turns you over to where your back is to him. He feels your skin flush pink, and he chuckles, the sound rough and rugged. “I wanna show you how much I like you, in one of the best ways I know how.”

Your body quivered as the soldier's rough hands knead and grope your form, moving and sliding lower with each passing moment until he reaches your aching core. His laugh is dark and seductive as his fingers slide underneath the hem of your underwear. Without warning, the soldier shoves two thick digits into your hot, tight little hole. “You're so fucking wet for me, private. You've always wanted to be my little slut, haven't you?” He growls against your ear. His other hand grabs a fistful of your breast, teasing your hardened nipple between his index finger and thumb.

You let out a startled yelp as the soldier's digits dig deeper inside you. Your walls can't help but to squeeze around him, his fingers curling inside you to pump in and halfway out as his thumb kneads at your clit roughly. You let out little squeaks and sighs of pleasure, unable to really form coherent words. The soldier growls low against your ear, “You're gonna cum already, huh?” His fingers pump harder, his thumb pressing firm against your clit. “Ya gotta toughen up, buttercup.” Your moans grow needier as your hips buck into his hand, begging for release. But, alas, just as quick as he came in, he pulls out, shoving his fingers into your mouth to force you to taste yourself. You whine in annoyance, but complying and reluctantly lapping up your own slick from his fingers. “Ah, just look at you,” He remarks, slowly pulling out his fingers from your mouth, saliva stretchy on them. “You're less of a fuck up when you do what I say.” The soldier smacks your ass, the hard sensation startling you.

“But I'm willing to bet I've already told you that.” You hear the shuffling of his belt coming undone and his pants falling to the floor from behind. The soldier's dick rests erect on your back, and you can tell that he's quite big. You swallow nervously. “You feel that, cupcake? That's what a true patriot feels like.” He coos, positioning himself between your legs.

The soldier bends you over against the lockers, watching as your slick streams down your trembling thighs. He laughs, slapping his hard cock against your backside. The soldier teases you, rubbing circles across your silt with the tip of his cock. “You fucking ready for this great American cock, princess?” He growls, his voice drenched with burning desire. You peer behind him, your eyes clouded with lust. “Yes,” you mew. With that, the soldier yanks a chunk of your hair back, not acknowledging your pained squeal as his cock hammers into your tight little cunt, “Fuck!” He roars.

The sound of your desperate cries mixed with the slap of skin against skin reverberates throughout the room, his hard thrusts leaving your ass red from his balls hitting at it. He abuses your cervix, pounding against your g-spot with ease and precision while his own grunts and curses flow out like a vulgar sea of pleasure.

He grips your torso with his arm, the joint flexing to keep you close to him as his hips snap rhythmically into your aching hole with vigor. You felt like you were on fire, dizzy from the rapture taking over your every sense. All you can do is cry out for more, your release nearing very close.

The soldier prys your jaw open with his free hand, forcing you to let out your shrill cry of pleasure, “Cum for your general, maggot!” Due to his order, shock waves wash over you as you squirt all over his length, your entire body twitching in ecstacy. He lets out one last battle cry as he hauls out his cock with an audible pop, “For The United States of America!” He hollers with all his might, his cum spewing all over your back and asscheeks in heavy loads.

With a bark of laughter, he quickly removes his white tank top, using it to wipe away the cum that drips down your heated skin. The cool fabric brushes against your lower half, and you shutter. Your knees buckle, and your hands scramble to hold onto the lockers for stability. Your entire body quivers with exhaustion, as he lifts you up off the ground, effortlessly carrying you bridal style in his arms. Through his bucket hat, you can see the glint in his eyes, filled with happiness, as his huge, toothy grin stretches across his face.

“You did good, kid. Real good.”

“You need to work on your stamina, though. Let's hit the shower, so we can do another rep of good ol’ fuckin’!” he says as he leads you out of the locker room, both of you almost fully undressed, your bodies red-hot from the ‘exercise.’ He walks with confidence, his head held high, towards his own shower, the smell of sex wafting off both of you.

#tf2 x reader #tf2 x you #tf2 soldier #tf2 soldier x reader #jane doe tf2 #tf2 solly #tf2 smut #smut #hardcore smut #degredation kink #kinda rushed #:(((#first try #team fortress 2 #team fortress two #soldier x reader

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breaniebree · 10 months ago

Text

Hinny Scene

Random smut scene that came to me the other day -- no im not writing anything new (outside of this scene)

This would fit into the Kismet universe, somewhere before Ginny discovers she's pregnant with James (before summer of 2003)

Ginny met Theo for morning yoga as they began their stretches under the instructor. They had been doing this for almost a year now and Ginny loved it. She loved how it made her feel and she loved meeting Theo. They always went to breakfast after and chatted and it was one of Ginny’s favourite parts of her day. Hermione sometimes joined them, but she didn’t always have time for breakfast and she wasn’t as diligent about the yoga as Ginny and Theo were.

Today was even better because Luna had returned to England for a few weeks and had surprised them in class that morning.

“Two more days,” Theo said with a sigh as he added some honey to his tea. “I miss him so much.”

Ginny gave her friend a sympathetic look. She knew that Theo missed his boyfriend when he was travelling and she was so glad that she didn’t have to worry about that too much with Harry.

“Any plans for when he’s home?”

Theo winked, a slow smile on his lips. “Just the usual. Suck him off until he’s a whimpering mess at my mercy.”

Ginny shook her head in amusement. “You’re incorrigible.”

“You asked and you know how much I love to suck my man off.”

“I know,” Ginny said, taking a sip of her orange juice.

“You know I was worried at first that Macmillan might have taken that from me but… it’s not the same,” Theo said quietly. “He… forced me and this is because I want to. I want to hold that control and bloody hell, chick, when I have him in my mouth, I hold all the cards. It’s so… powerful. I love it. Not the power itself, but everything. I love feeling the weight of him on my tongue. I love the feel of my mouth stretching around him. I love the taste of his skin. I love the little sounds he makes when he’s trying to keep himself under control. I love the sounds he makes when I do something he really likes. I love the look in his eyes when I look up at him with my mouth full of his cock and he knows I’m in control. I love it when I get the drops of precum that are a reward for my good work and then when he lets go… I mean, yes, I love to swallow, but it’s the idea, you know? The idea that he’s giving me this part of himself; that he’s trusting me with his loss of control. It’s the sexiest bloody thing in the whole world,” Theo said. “Don’t either of you ever feel like that?”

Ginny bit her bottom lip as she nodded. She did understand what Theo meant by the power of it. It was this moment of trust between them that she treasured. “Yes, I do.”

“Me too,” Luna replied. “It’s why I always feel so good when Rolf and I are together because we both give each other that power. Blowing him is fun and I enjoy it a lot, but a few weeks ago when we were in Jodhpur, I enjoyed watching him suck cock even more.”

“Um… I’m sorry, what?” Ginny demanded, shooting her gaze to her friend.

Luna blinked owlishly. “Oh, it was nothing. We just met this lovely couple there who invited us over for the afternoon. They had a large home and there was about a dozen people from all over the world having an orgy. It was fascinating.”

“You had an orgy?” Theo asked, his eyes widening.

“Well, that depends entirely on what you consider an orgy to be,” Luna said. “Rolf and I discussed it and thought it might be fun to participate in a few naughty activities and he really liked it when I ate out this pretty Japanese woman. She tasted lovely and she loved to pull on my hair. Rolf used his tongue on me while I licked her and then her boyfriend, this really big muscular man who played rugby fed her his huge cock. The two of us both came and then we sort of switched, you know? Rolf sucked off her boyfriend and I sat on the rugby player’s face while she sucked off Rolf. It was really sexy.”

Theo and Ginny exchanged looks of disbelief. “LUNA!”

Luna only lifted an eyebrow. “What? That doesn’t count as an orgy, does it? I only had intercourse with Rolf, but there was this other blond man who rimmed Rolf for like half an hour while I watched and touched myself. He really liked it. I think we’re going to add it to our bedroom activities. Oh and then Rolf and the rugby player both ate me out at the same time. I had so many tongues and fingers down there, it was like a party and I came like ten times.”

“Luna, I cannot believe you and Rolf just went to that kind of party!” Ginny exclaimed.

Luna shrugged. “It’s hardly something we do all of the time, but it doesn’t hurt to try new things sometimes. It was fun and exciting, but we both agreed that we’d rather just be with each other. In fact, just this morning he did me doggy style.”

Theo shook his head. “I have so many questions, I don’t even know where to begin.”

“Don’t,” Ginny suggested, making him grin.

“Anyway,” Theo continued. “I knew you’d both understand what I was saying. It’s not just the orgasms though we can all agree those are bloody brilliant, it’s the build up and the foreplay and the trust. I know that Bas will use my mouth if I ask him too and I know that he won’t hurt me; I know he’ll take care of me. I know that he loves me.”

“He loves you so much,” Ginny told him.

“He really does,” Luna said. “Well, I have to be off. I have a meeting at the Ministry to discuss my newest finds. I’ll meet you both again in the morning for yoga. Goodbye.”

Luna pecked Theo’s cheek and then Ginny’s before taking off and Ginny shook her head.

“I can’t believe she and Rolf had an orgy!”

“It wasn’t an orgy,” Theo said. “There was no shagging.”

Ginny rolled her eyes. “I think that hardly constitutes a rule.”

“It sounds like it was sexy,” Theo said. “But that’s not for me. No one else is allowed to touch my man.”

“On that we can both agree,” Ginny said.

Theo sighed and reached for his tea. “Is it bloody Friday yet?”

“No, still only Wednesday,” Ginny teased.

“Well hurry up Friday. I want my man in my mouth and then I want him to rim me until I come all over myself,” Theo said just as the waitress appeared at their table.

Ginny blushed but the waitress didn’t comment and she was grateful. When she left, she kicked her friend under the table.

“Ow!”

“You need to watch what you say!”

He grinned as he pulled out his wallet. “You love that about me. It’s my turn to buy breakfast so you head off. I think I need to use one of my toys before work this morning.”

“How do you still overshare this much?”

Theo winked. “It’s a big toy too. Not as big as Bas mind you, but it definitely has some girth to it.”

Ginny snorted. “Thanks for breakfast, Theo.”

“Bye, chick! See you tomorrow.”

Ginny hugged Theo goodbye, shaking her head at her breakfast conversation. Her friends were obsessed with sex, but as she headed home, she couldn’t get her thoughts to leave what Theo had said about the trust and the power. She found her husband in the kitchen in his Auror kit, filling a travel tumblr with coffee.

“Hey, Gin,” Harry said. “How was breakfast?”

“Enlightening,” Ginny said, dropping her bag by the doorway of the kitchen.

Harry lifted an eyebrow, his black hair as messy as usual and his green eyes giving her an amused look. “Isn’t that always the way with Theo?”

“Luna was there too,” Ginny told him. “She and Rolf are back in England for a few weeks.”

“Oh, we’ll have to have them over for dinner or something.”

“Yes,” Ginny said, stomping across the kitchen to take his tumblr from his hands. She put it in the counter with a rather loud bang before she grabbed him by his suspenders and stood on her toes to kiss him.

Not just any little kiss either, but a deep kiss that made his hands grip her arse tightly as he pulled her up against him. His tongue met hers eagerly and when she felt him harden against her stomach, she pulled back and licked her lips.

“Mm, bloody hell, Gin,” Harry grumbled. “You can’t snog me like that when I’m two seconds from leaving. I have to go to work.”

Ginny stood on her toes and stole another quick kiss. “Trust and power.”

“What?” Harry asked, giving her a bewildered look.

“Trust and power,” Ginny repeated. “It’s something Theo said.”

“Er, all right,” Harry said. “You can fill me in later. I really have to go. I have to report in to Robards in less than ten minutes.”

Ginny teased her fingers down the straps of his suspenders, unhooking them. “Ten minutes, eh?”

Before Harry could comment, she knelt before him and popped open the button on his black trousers. He made a strangled sound in the back of his throat.

“Gin…”

Ginny lowered the zipper and then slid them down his hips, her mouth kissing him through his boxer briefs.

“Bloody hell!”

Her tongue dragged over the cotton before those were pushed down to his knees too and then with her eyes locked on his, she dragged her tongue over his hardening length. Harry groaned, his hands reaching back to grip the counter behind him. Ginny’s tongue continued to tease his length, soft licks and kisses that made him tremble before she took him into her mouth.

Her tongue twirled at the underside of his head in a way to designed to drive him mad while one hand fondled and stroked his balls and the other fisted around him, working him with firm, tight strokes. Then she slid her hands around him to cup his arse and took him down her throat.

Harry grunted as her nose touched his pelvis, eyes wide. It still amazed him that this wife had mastered this. She swallowed around him, making him nice and wet before she slowly pulled off and began to lick him like she was savouring him. When her hand fisted around him once more, her mouth moved to his balls and Harry moved one of his hands to grip her ponytail as he watched her suck them into his mouth, his cock moving in and out of her fist in a steady rhythm that made his breath hitch.

Then her mouth was back around him, sucking faster and Harry gripped her hair tighter, hips moving to meet her mouth.

Ginny moaned around him. This right here was what Theo had been talking about. There was no one she trusted more than her husband right now. She had the power, the heart of him in her mouth and yet here he was, giving her more. His hips moved faster and she swallowed around him, tugging and rolling his balls in her hand as his taste told her he was close. She slid her finger behind his balls, teasing his rim and he made a strangled sound of warning before he finished with a loud groan. Ginny swallowed every drop before she took her time licking him clean.

Harry sagged back against the counter, his breath ragged. “Bloody fucking hell, Gin… what the hell was that?”

Ginny continued to lap at him before she stood up, tugging him down to meet her lips. She knew he could taste himself there. “I love you, Harry Potter. I trust you. I love the power you give me and I love how powerful you make me feel.” She patted his cheek with a wink. “Now pull up your trousers. You’re late for work.”

She turned to go and Harry grabbed her arm. “I don’t know what the hell Theo said to you at breakfast this morning, but feel free to make it a regular thing.”

She chuckled. “I’ll keep it in mind.”

Harry tugged up his boxer briefs and his trousers, hastily trying to fix his kit. “And Gin? When I get home tonight, you can trust that I‘m going to make you come so hard you’re going to scream.”

“Oh, you are, are you?”

Harry hooked his suspenders back into place and grabbed his tumblr. “I am,” he said, grabbing her hip and his lips brushing her ear. “Three times. Then I’m going to bend you over whatever the fuck is closest and shag you until you come again and then I’m going to start all over again. Clear?”

Ginny bit her bottom lip as a shiver of pleasure ran through her and then her breath hitched when his hand moved from her hip to slide into her knickers and his fingers pushed into her.

“Merlin, you’re bloody soaked,” he hissed.

He pumped his fingers a few times before he stroked her clit and yanked his hand out, sucking his fingers into his mouth.

“Don’t you dare touch yourself until I get home.”

“And if I do?” she taunted.

Harry’s eyes darkened. “Don’t.”

Then he grabbed his red cloak and stormed out of the kitchen, leaving Ginny standing there with flushed cheeks.

“You’re thirty minutes late, Potter!” Robards barked when Harry walked into the bullpen five minutes later.

“Sorry, Sir,” Harry said. “Overslept.”

When Robards turned, Ron gave him a look. “Overslept my arse.”

Harry grinned. “What can I say? It’s a bloody fan-fucking-tastic morning.”

“Someone got laid,” Baxter teased.

Harry shot up two fingers in response, but he couldn’t keep the grin off of his face.

He bloody loved being married.

#harry potter fanfiction #the world of asc #breanie #the kismet trilogy #hinny #the kismet trilogy by breanie #harry and ginny #drabble

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frownyalfred · 10 months ago

Note

Completely off topic ? Ish but how do you meal prep? Followed for batfam but also love your gym and fitness talk? How exactly do you work out? I want to start going to the gym but I don't know how to get a membership and how to use all the machines?

I usually do meal prep Sunday nights. I prep a meal that can be used for lunch and/or dinner, and then some breakfast items I can grab and go with. I do a high protein meal prep so it takes some thought but I’ve gotten into a good groove the last few years.

Working out is a little trickier. I started out going maybe once a week, and slowly started going more over time to build a routine. Now it’s habit, since I like to get moving in some way every day. I do weightlifting with cardio days and yoga in between, though recently I’ve been doing more yoga since it’s lower impact.

Most gyms will do an intro/trial membership and will be happy to show you around! A lot of them also do intro to the machines as a free session, which I highly recommend. If you’re brave enough, you can also go up to people (in between sets) and ask them how the machine works — I’ve done this before, and usually they have good tips on form. And they might spot you!

I use the Strong app for keeping track of my lifts. It also has videos and diagrams of proper form with instructions. I track my food intake on a calorie app to try and optimize for my goals, but that can be triggering for some people.

If you’re afab, weightlifting especially is such a good habit to get into. You feel better, you feel stronger, and you aren’t as likely to get stuck in a weight loss/gain cycle. I lost 40+ lbs and countless inches around my waist and chest, but recently my focus has been more on what my body can do and what it looks like, and less on how much the scale reads. I eat the foods I like and have room for treats because you need to eat to fuel exercise! It’s so different from eating the tiniest possible and hitting cardio endlessly.

#asks #anon #personal #weight loss #weightlifting #gym stuff #food stuff #calories tw #tw weight loss

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chemicallady · 2 years ago

Note

Heyyy, would you possibly be able to do a Noah Sebastian story that is like a brothers best friend dynamic? I live eat and breathe this stuff lol

I WANNA FEEL LOVE AGAIN

Couple: Noah Sebastian x Fem!Reader

Content Warning: slight mention of sexual intercorse. Nothing too deep, I'm saving it for next Chapters

Summary: you're a real mess, your life is turning into a living hell, so your brother Matt convinces you to move in with him in LA and start working for the band he's taking care of

A/N: I dont wanna spoil to much in here, because... Well, you' ll see. English is not my native language and no one peer review this ff. It's gonna be a world of fun, I already know it!

Important! I don't know Noah or Matt or any of the real people portrayed un this story. This is fictional!

Enjoy then 😏

Ouch, I've lost myself again

You've always been around, unseen. Having a brother like Matt could be a blessing and a nightmare in equal parts. You were feeded with stories about gigs and musicians while grow up with your older brother, who is dear to you in a way that actually you cant explain. Matt as always been your twin flame even if you are younger than him. You grew up looking at him with a lot of respect and it broke your heart when he left Texas, moving to California. At the time you werent ready for the big change and your brother's friend were still a bit mysterious to you.

You were used to spend as much time as possible in his company, but with this fresh start for him, you just fell into the ordinary. Nothing against your life, by the way; your parents always supporting, best friends ready to drive you to the closer pub and deliver the best night possible, a lovely boyfriend who adored you in any meaning.

You loved the shit out of Shawn. He was your person, the one always there when you were in need. Your high school sweetheart. Maybe he wasnt your first kiss or your first fuck but he was the one who made you feel like it was worthy, living for someone else. The one who pushed you to improve yourself for your own sake, that helped you in finding a job for the local tattoo shop as a piercer when the school was over.

You did everything in your power to be the best girlfriend possible. You decoreted your shared flat in the warmest way possible. You turned down a good scholarship for that college in Montana, pissing your parents and brother for this lost opportunity. You gave up to your dream to be a writer because he had to stay in Texas and take care of his mom. You helped him through the loss, when she die.

But it wasn't enough.

You loved the shit out of Shawn and he loved you in return, but it wasn't enough.

Your relationship suffered a slow, agonizing death with multiple attempt of reanimation. Vacations togheter, a bigger flat, a cat.

Nothing compensate the distance between the two of you and he was the one brave enough to call it for a quit. You knew was gonna happen but it didn't hurt you less. Moving back to your parents, while quitting your job just to avoid to meet him everyday, took you to the bottom. Then the shutdown decided to kick you while you were already down, spending days in bed just listen music or watching anime whitout any chance to go out with your friends or for just a walk.

Everyone was really worried about you. You lose weight and that energy that always marked you.

And you stayed there, drowing in your own misery until Matt decided that enough was enough.

《 Pack your shit, you're moving in with me to LA. You're done making mom and pops that upset.》

The end of fall 2021 signed your rebirth. Matt found a bigger apartment for the two of you and Lucifurr, your vicious black cat which has an obsession in chewing cables and destroy everything paper made. You have always want to leave nearby the ocean and Malibu had a ton of opportunities to offer you. You started a yoga class the same week you moved, in order to make some new friends. Accoding to Matt, there are a lot of things to do around the band he is working with, Bad Omens.

You offer yourself as a merchgirl, but since you're a good writer an even better in tolerate people bullshit (you have to be karmatic, all the teens who came to get a piercing to the shop have always made a scene in front of needles), you could be perfect as a PR/assistant for the band. You remember them barely because someway somehow, these are the guys who steal all the time Matt has. Time that you never get.

You remember this four guys with long hair, basic metalheads, except for the drummer. You remember when you gave him the nostril after a show in 2015, maybe 16, and he took it like a champ whitout complaining. You remember the singer, this slenderman type of guy with beautiful long hair that looks like silk. You've never felt more envy of someone else hair like that. And also the other three guys were nice, especially Vincent. The only one who you can connect to a familiar face because you two got a nice conversation on tattoos when you visited Matt, three years ago.

They are nice.

You've heard stories about them at every phone call.

But still, thieves of precious moments that you want have again in your life again between you and your brother.

All the missing birthday, all the call postponed due to technical issues. He wasn't there to pick up your pieces when Shawn get a rid of you.

And Matt wasn't supposed to, but being selfish, you wish he was there.

But he is now and this is enough to bring the light back to your life. The long talks after dinner, movie nights, everything is back to the normal between you two since you moved and it's restoring.

With this wave of good mood, even if you havent forgotten Shawn yet, you enroll to gym, so you can work out after yoga.

And is in this specific place that you meet Eric.

The first time you caught him lurking at you you were running on the thremill.

There is something familiar in him but still, you dont know anyone in LA. You were the one who actually landed the first conctact with this new alien subject, so introvert to avoid your eyes.

《 Today is hot as hell, right?》

Talking about the weather is the easiest card to play. He smiled a bit shily to you before answering. 《 Don't tell me, I hate how hot is in here. Are you new? I've never seen you around》

《 I just moved in with my brother, actually. 》

《 You're a southie for sure. I like your accent.》

You giggle at his words, while he gets some confidence, passing a hand through this short hair. 《 you got me. You don't sound californian as well》.

《 Maybe because I'm not》. There was a moment in which he seemed to be doubtful, like he changed his mind and he didn't want actually to talk with you. He looked at you with a weird expression, like he realised something was off. 《 What's your name?》, he asked then, almost suspicious.

And then you lied. You rarely give your real name to strangers. A self defence mechanism for girls. 《 Vanessa. You?》

He looked more relaxed, 《 Eric.》

《 Nice to meet you Eric... Do you know a nice bar around? 》

《 Maybe I know a place 》 he reflected, smiling a bit malicious. He was definitely flirting. 《 Can offer you a beer or something? Just to welcome you in town.》

You are not ready for a new story yet, but after almost a year after you broke up with Shawn, you needed at least some human conctact. Eric was nice with you since the beginning. He invited you to this dive bar after the gym a couple of times, not far from your place. He paid for you a couple of cocktails while having a real nice Conversation. A superficial one, about the tattoos that covered him. About living in LA. You mentioned your brother a couple of times and he talked about his roomates and all the crazy things they have done during the pandemic.

He told you he is a Producer and you told him you're still unemployed.

One way or another, he got closer to you in a matter of days. And when he kissed you, you obliged and kiss him back. One thing leaded to another and the two of you ended fucking in the back of his SUV. And oh boy... you needed it so much. It was a quickie, but he seemed to be promising. His long fingers stimulated you untill you cried out for pleasure. His mounth divoured you inch by inch. And his cock....

He knew how to use it, let's say that.

After, he gave you his number and the two of you planned to see each other by the end of the week, at the gym, after your yoga class and his class of jujitsu....

The morning after you're fresh and relaxed like you weren't in months. Matt tends to be overprotective so you didn't told him about Eric while you were having breakfast. You need to know this guys deeply before accept that you know have a situationship. And your brother doesn't need to know about you screacting you itchies.

He has a hot temper when someone looks at his dear little sis.

After breakfast you got ready to meet the band again after almost three years.

《 I can't believe Vincent quitted. He was the nicest.》

Matt sighs while driving to the guys' house, mentally focused on the traffic. 《 youll see him when we'll be in Virginia, don't worry. 》

Your eyes slip on streets and houses, wards and parks but you still feel like You're in a new country. You don't know how much it will take to get used to California.

《 here we are》 , Matt says, parking. 《 let's refresh the rules.》

《 Oh c'mon, I'm not twelve anymore》

《 y/n 》

《 alright! I don't have to embarrass you while you're free to be mean on me. I don't have to embarrass myself talking shit just because I'm nervous and if the music sucks, I can't tell your precious Noah.》

《 You can do better but, more or less, that's it. Lets go. I need another coffe and maybe something sweet before start to film the music video. 》

It's so weird filming inside a house and not in a proper set but all this low budget bullshit are quite the normal for small bands, you think.

You have to be their assistant and eventually a PR- so Matt can stop to bitching on twitter all the time- and you know nothing about bands.

According to Matt, you're going to learn quick.

According to Matt. You know that he picked you up for the job so he can force you to write what he wants.

And continuing to bitch around through you.

The guitar player greets you at the door and introduces himself again as Jolly. The rest of the guys minus Noah are in the garage. It's marvelous how Orie, one of the guys who lives here, a director, reorganize the space with tubes and flashlight.

《 What's the name of the song, again? 》 you ask to Nick Folio, whos already youre favorite.

《 Artifical Suicide》 it's the answer, while he takes his place back behind the drums.

《So emo》 it's your honest observation that makes him laught. Matt looks at you in a way that if he could, you would be incinerated where you're standing. You're already embarrassing him.

Nice.

You regret nothing.

It's a lil sister job to make her brother in troubles, that's what pops always says.

Mike brings you a coffe that you accept with a smile, than tells everyone the news about the singer that is still not here.

A diva, of course. That's your first thought. Every singer is a natural diva.

《 He is still looking for the glove.》

《 He would lost his head if it wasn't attacked to his neck》 , a solid comment arrives from Ruffilo, immediatly followed by an annoyed reply from behind you.

《 I can ear you motherfucker. You are- what the fuck?》

You turn in time to face the famous singer and almost choke with the coffe.

《 Yo Noah, do you remember my sister, y/n?》

You see Noah turning pale for a second while trying to say something in return.

You're also speechless for a second, before putting your shit togheter so Matt wont finds out in the first five minutes. 《 Howdy! You... you cut your hair. Nice. I didn't know》

You didn't.

That's why was so easy for Noah to be Eric for almost a week. For a hook up with you. His best friend sister.

....Splendid.

You're fucked.

#noah sebastian #bad omens #noah sebastian x reader #noah sebastian imagine #bad omens imagine

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spindle-girl · 2 months ago

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Glare 3.5

more walking, talking, and flying

“Hey Flays-Alive-Man, for this job, we’re going to need you and your ten superpowered friends to catch a train and spend three and a half hours traveling to the middle of nowhere, and then you have to find our target,” Chris said. “God,” Rain said. “Don’t fire up my imagination with names like that.”

i for one can't wait to meet flays-alive-man and him turn out to be a hero who saves Rain's life

“Whatever you do,” Kenzie said, reaching out to touch Rain’s forearm. “Do not put the battery pack in backward, when you re-insert it.” Rain looked down at the camera he held with a little bit of trepidation. “Why?” I asked. “Because then it won’t work,” Kenzie said.

she won't lie but she will joke

“Julien Martin, giving me a ride earlier. Kenzie sent me a text letting me know he was on his way to pick me up. I would have said no if she’d asked beforehand. He turned up, let me into the car, then the entire way here, didn’t say a single word. I didn’t say a thing either.”

what is with Kenzie's dad? i thought she had good parents and things just became uncomfortable with her misunderstandings stuff

“No. Hell no. Then I’d feel obligated to make conversation and shit,” Chris said. “It’s a sunny day, there’s a breeze, the weather is perfect. I’m going to sit outside and wait and then I’ll make my way back to the institution.”

Chris is creeping up in my favorite list. i get feeling that obligation. i may or may not end up regretting this comradery as i read more of this book

She tipped back her water bottle, finishing it off, and without even lowering the bottle from her mouth, used her power. Shorter than her prior uses, abrupt. It made its usual cacophony of noise, my ears ringing faintly in its wake, and it pushed her hair up and back, so it took a second to fall back into place.

Ashley Stillons says don't pollute or you'll get the inter-dimensional boot

“I’m cursed with an impulse to help people,” I said. “It’s an epidemic,” she said.

okay, so Chris and Rachel before, now Ashley and Alec. if Victoria's the Taylor, does that make Sveta the Lisa of the group?

His story about how they met and where she came from… I wasn’t sure. It didn’t feel like I knew the whole of it.

Victoria wants Tattletale's power sooooo bad

She opened the door wider. My dad was in the hallway, wearing a sleeveless top with a hood, in a very light fabric, and yoga pants of similar light weight. A gym bag sat on the floor by his feet.

uhg

“It’s not that clear cut. Your mother is a clever woman, to the point she can outsmart herself. She has good instincts when it comes to getting people on her side, too. I’ve been missing home, the past few years, and seeing the woman I still love being warm for the first time in…”

fuuuuck this guy. throwing some of the blame on Carol for his dumbass choices

“That gets more complicated, and it’s less about the places to watch and more about the names to keep an ear out for,” my dad said. “Marquis, Goddess, Lord of Loss, Mama Mathers, the Crowley brothers, Deader and Goner, Barrow.”

oh, so you can hear Mama Mathers name without context? slightly less broken than i thought

“I wasn’t aware we even had a legal system yet.” “We don’t, but it’s coming soon.”

oh Ward...

I thought of the team when it had been operating together, playing off one another, being good at what they did. I thought of Tattletale and her version of my hometown and how much I really wanted her and people like her to lose every reason they had to be smug and confident.

she's doing so much of this because of spite it's hilarious. it's not the only reason, but it's there

End thoughts:

Victoria was trying to convince herself she was doing the right thing by following Rain, but it was flimsy enough there's not much to comment on. she's knows she's letting her paranoia get the better of her, we'll see if that leads to anything. i can't see Rain being in the position to push back against it, which might make it better drama, if he even noticed

#parahumans #ward lb #arc 3 glare

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luveline · 9 months ago

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Exercise and weight loss (and separately self harm)

as a girl who is at once very prone to self harm and also being miserable and stuff, I’ve been feeling extremely down and alone for a while, but discovering that I actually like exercise has been really good for me, because now whenever I feel alone and can’t stop thinking I can work out or do yoga or something and clear my head, I’ve been doing yoga for a long time but I have to admit that getting my steps in is what’s actually making me feel okay. This week I have felt super like, super upset and I’ve been desperate to talk to someone but I don’t think anyone in my life really wants to hear it (understandable) or understands what I’m actually saying, so I can just turn everything off and work out instead. I also have felt lately that my feelings are so childish and just annoying and so instead of burdening someone with them and then feeling extremely embarrassed and regretful about it I just write it in my diary and then go do crunches o! It’s nice that it works toward my goal to be slimmer too, my family think they can see a difference but I can’t yet but hopefully soon I’ll see it

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frodothefair · 26 days ago

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Positive personal updates.

I am finally enacting small positive behavioral changes that I've been meaning to make for years, except I did not have spoons. Here are a few of them:

--still doing some laundry folding and some putting away of dishes almost ever day

--blushing teeth nearly every day. Ordinarily, I'm not very good at doing so unless I have the natural cue of going to work in person.

--I've got the calorie counting down, I think, so now I'm focusing on improving what I eat: more protein in the form of cottage cheese and yogurt (I make my own stracchiatella yogurt by mixing plain, unsweetened yogurt and melted dark chocolate), more legumes in the form of homemade hummus, more vegetables overall.

--last summer my body rebelled even at 20 minute walks, and I'm probably the only person whose sleep and anxiety get worse from physical exertion. So instead, I'm sneakily adding more activity into my day via the aforementioned chores, a brief yoga routine with several poses meant to stretch the hips and legs (which may eventually decrease menstrual cramps), and ordering a set of leg weights such that walking and climbing stairs takes more effort. Finally, I've started the world's slowest deep-clean project: I've been wiping down all the baseboards, doors, window frames, and banisters, because they accumulate a surprising amount of dirt, dust, and other debris over time.

--sleeping less... bimodally shall we say. My body's natural propensity is to sleep from 2 am until noon, but there are few jobs in my field that would accommodate such a lifestyle. As such, I would sleep 6 hours per night during the workweek and 9-10 hours per night on the weekend, but after a while the oversleeping on weekdays got counterproductive. So now, I'm getting to sleep a little earlier (it's still a miracle if I'm in bed before midnight - I have to be exhausted for that to happen), but the reduced back and forth has my body a lot less stressed and a lot more energized (read: not exhausted all the time).

--Since my COVID infection in January, I'm stuck at 12 lbs down, and 10 lbs from my goal weight, but hopefully some of the changes above can help. I don't want to further cut down my calories. I suppose I could, but I'm already eating 1450 per day, and that ain't much.

--sometimes you find Kenneth (inside joke: a "Kenneth" is an elusive bra that fits), and sometimes you really find Kenneth. I've found a model of bra that fits transcendently well: it immediately fits like a second skin, no breakin period required. I returned all the other bras, and got several iterations of this miracle-Kenneth, and now, I'm enjoying my clothes like never before. (The weight loss may also have something to do with it .)

--I've vetted some of my clothes and shoes according to the KonMari principle, and will let an acquaintance who is depressed, transitioning, and recently moved to the area take a look at them, to see if there's anything she can wear. Then, to the consignment shop it goes.

--I've taken over the budget tracking from Mr. Nisilë (to be honest, he fell of the wagon doing it, and has too many other responsibilities as it is). Apps unfortunately don't work so well when you shop at stores that sell multiple types of merchandise, so now I manually enter every purchase into a spreadsheet. My perfectionistic, pedantic self is incredibly happy.

#exercise #weight loss #lifestyle #becoming that girl #i actually hate the concept of “that girl” when referring to myself but this is a very “that girl” kind of post no?

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batmanisagatewaydrug · 11 months ago

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I recommend yoga with Adriene. There are some weight loss, but her tag line is “feel what feels good”

yes I've been watching her for years. that's where I'm getting bombarded with weight loss ads. Adriene is swell, the algorithm that assumes I want to surgically remove my back fat because I'm doing yoga is not.

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pleaseeeimjustagirl · 1 year ago

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It Is Time For 'Baddie Hibernation'

Hey babes we have 3 months before the summer! It is time to tighten up! This is the time to work on your physical and mental I know we all want to be hot girls this summer so now is the time to prioritize ourselves!

Routines

♡ Routines are super important. they are your key to success and living an organized life. If you have not created a routine already I created a blog post on how to create a productive routine. This is the time to stick to your routines in the morning and night and adjust them if needed.

Physical

♡ Hygiene. Consistency is key for your facial care routine to work so be consistent in applying all your products. If you aren't seeing results with a certain product you have been using for over 3 months maybe try and find a better product. I recommend using a gua sha three times a week there are so many benefits in using a gua sha blog post coming soon! Don’t just focus on your facial care focus also on your body care use African exfoliating net sponges, shave regularly, apply lotions and body oils, and use feet masks to peel dead skin.

♡ Diet. For my girlies who are on a weight loss journey and want to be snatched before summer, it is time to be dedicated to sticking to your diet. I don’t have any specific diets to recommend do what works for you. If you struggle with Binge Eating Disorder like me I have a book that I can recommend that will help you work on your ED and also help you lose weight “The Binge Code” by Allison Kerr and Richard Kerr. This book has been a game-changer for me! For my babes who aren't focused on weight loss, it is still important to try and eat healthier try including a variety of whole foods into your diet and drink waterrr!!! Water is so good for us from our skin to our digestive system try and drink at least 50oz but aim for 100oz of water daily.

♡ Movement. Try and include some sort of movement daily we must move our bodies daily. Figure out what type of exercise you like walking is very simple and costs absolutely nothing. Start small with 10 minutes of outdoor walking daily. Natural light is so beneficial for our mental health and mood. Yoga and pilates are such amazing slow and impactful forms of exercise. I've been including yoga in my nighttime routine there are so many channels and videos on YouTube you can follow. There are so many other forms of exercise you can try some free and some that cost money.

♡ Supplements. Help and maintain our overall health they can also help with our daily requirements of essential nutrients. I will be listing a few supplements below <333

Multivitamin. Find a reputable multivitamin and take it daily or as instructed. Multivitamins can boost energy and give you vitamins and minerals you might be deficient in.

Magnesium. Improves mood, sleep, exercise performance, regulates blood sugar, and so much more. Magnesium is overlooked by many but so beneficial for us. I've been seeing the bedtime magnesium mocktail I have yet to try but I plan to.

Omega 3(fish oil). Helps with typical brain and eye development. It can fight inflammation and help prevent heart disease and the decline of brain function.

Vitamin D. A lot of us during the winter time have a deficiency in vitamin D because the sun is not out a lot so vitamin D supplements are a must-have they help with regulating mood, reducing depression, healthy bones, and so many other amazing benefits.

Vitamin B Complex. Helps boost energy levels, brain function, digestion, and cell health. There are so many other benefits.

Probiotics. Helps improve gut health, puts healthy bacteria into our gut that in turn helps our digestive system, and inflammation, and can even help aide your weightless journey.

Mental

♡ Sleep. Our bodies function so much better when we are getting a good amount of sleep. You think clearly and your mood is better. Try and set a bedtime for yourself and stick to it. I had to sleep train myself at the beginning of the semester it was so harddd but I'm reaping the benefits now I have energy during the day, my mood is better in the morning, and my brain functions better during the day.

♡ Journaling. We have a lot of emotions that we carry throughout the day and it is important that we let them out and journaling is the best way to do so. I have three journals. One journal is for my emotions, another for gratitude journaling which I highly recommend you get into, and finally my last journal for shadow work. You do not need to have three journals but I like to have everything separate it helps me.

♡ Book. I love reading and listening to self-help books. We all have issues that we need to fix and thankfully we have so many self-help books dedicated to so many different issues people face on a daily. I have so many recommendations I’ll list below.

The Mountain Is You by Brianna Wiest (self-sabotaging)

The Most Powerful Woman In The Room Is You by Lydia Fenet (confidence and career)

Atomic Habits by James Clear (building good habits)

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson (living a carefree life)

The Binge Code by Allison Kerr and Richard Kerr (binge eating, weight loss)

The Shadow Work Journal by Keila Shaheen (internal healing)

The Eldest Daughter Effect by Lisette Schuitemaker and Wies Enthoven (eldest daughters)

The Game Of Life And How To Play It by Florence Scovel and Joel Fotinos (from pessimistic to optimistic, affirmations, and manifestation)

The Power Of The Pussy by Kara King (femininity and dating)

8 Rules Of Love by Jay Shetty (dating and psychology)

The Muslim Woman’s Manifesto by Kashmir Maryam (religion, mental health, and women)

These are the books I can recommend so far there are more searches for books related to the issues you may be facing or things you want to improve on in your life<3

♡ Therapy. I'm a big mental health advocate and it is very important that if you are dealing with mental health issues you get help<3. I've dealt with my issues before and I used better help I found the best therapist who helped me through so much. I love the way they allow you to choose your therapist. I recommend that you use better help. For my NYC teenagers between the ages of 13-17, there is a website called talk space that offers free online therapy for NYC teens NO REFERRAL IS NEEDED. If I find more websites that offer free therapy for other teens around the world I will let you all know<3.

If you have any tips that you want to share down in the comments please do I want all of us to be happy and glowing this summer!

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