#ink inking stuff

[lostwriter--xx3]

Slightly Haunted

@prongsfoot-microfic

abused!James microfic dedicated to @rosemelodyshah <3 TW: Abuse, dark F&E Potter

...

The floor wasn't tiled. It was panelled, like the walls. A deep, woody hue. An almost lofty colour, but too hard to be completely comfortable to stand on. The difference between Sirius' heritage and aristocracy and his heritage and aristocracy was purely political — both houses had the ancient panelling with the tell-tale tallow drips. Between his feet, there were two drops of candle wax.

"I suppose you do this on purpose?", His father's voice wasn't angry, just resigned.

James was very sure that last week, there was only one wax drop on the floor. He kept his gaze down.

"Why, James? Why? After everything we have done — all the money we have poured, though goodness knows I don't like to bring it up!"

James kept his gaze down. The drips looked grey. A very deep grey, like an overcast, stormy night.

"Look at me, young man! You know you are one, I pray!"

James looked up, guilty. Again, he saw the Sirius' letter scrunched up in his father's hand. Again, he felt a tallow trip of lead in his stomach.

"He scored more than you, damn you! Don't you see? A Black! How could he be your friend? He is more than your family's council, I suppose?"

He is trying to sabotage you, distract you, ruin your reputation while...

"He is trying to sabotage you, distract you, ruin your reputation while he builds one for himself!"

Tears sprang up in James' eyes. He couldn't help it. The words were a blow to his guiltiest insecurity.

James had not been selected Prefect.

"He intentionally sabotaged you from become Prefect! He knew his family's awful reputation would get him nowhere, do he pulled you down with him!"

Remus had.

"How else could that werewolf's leavings win over you? Over you, damn it! After so many summer tutions, so many camps, so many private tutors — how many did that Lupin boy have? All the money— I don't like to speak of it, but all the money!"

I love my friends.

"Your friendships will ruin you", his mother warned. "Mark my words— they won't be grateful! Only family remains. Your friends will not chose you over their family." Hateful tears were in her eyes. "Only you are damned enough to do that."

There were few more grey drips on the floor now. All years.

James bit down on Sirius' lip, hard, trying to clear his head. Sirius gasped, leaning closer. "Yes."

The dorm was dark— and empty. James reached out, struggling with Sirius' robes. Sirius pulled apart, pulling them over his head. In the half light, James could see him brilliantly. The half shy, half cheeky smile. The invitation in his eyes. The flush on his cheeks. A dozen cuts on his arms from petty scrapes. Fresh bruises on his necks. So lovely, so perfect, so personal, so familiar.

What if that was real, and this isn't?

Sirius swooped in for a hard, intense kiss. "You're so goddamn lovely, mate."

"Funny", James muttered, breathless. "That's what I was thinking."

Sirius pressed his lips harder against him, teasing his mouth open. As he slipped his tongue over his teeth, he mumbled. "I love you too goddamn much."

How much is it worth to me?

"Everything", James whispered. "You are my everything."

Sirius' eyes flit open, meeting James' already wide, open ones. And Sirius' eyes were grey. A tallow-drip grey, like an overcast, stormy sea. So, James closed his eyes.

[inkskinned]

i got rickrolled today but it didn't work because i have adblocker installed, so youtube just told me i violated the terms of service. yesterday i was trying to edit a picture as a joke for my girlfriend, and google made me check a box to prove i'm human because i wasn't "searching normally".

it isn't just that capitalism is killing fun and whimsy, it is that any element of entertainment or joy is being fed upon by this mosquito body, one that will suck you dry at any vulnerability.

do you want to meet new friends in your city? download this app, visit our website, sign up for our email list. pay for this class on making a terrarium, on candlemaking, on cooking. it will be 90 dollars a session. you can go to group fitness, but only under our specific gym membership. solve the puzzle, sign up for our puzzle-of-the-month-club. what is a club if not just a paid opportunity - you are all paying for the same thing, which makes you a community.

but you're like me, i know it - you're careful, you try the library meetings and the stuff at the local school and all of that. the problem is that you kind of want really specific opportunities that used to exist. you are so grateful for libraries and the publicly-funded things: they are, however, an exception - and everything they have, they've fought tooth-and-nail to protect. you read a headline about how in many other states, libraries have virtually nothing left.

do you want to meet up with your friends afterwards? gift your friends the discord app. you can choose to go to a cafe (buy a coffee, at least), a bar (money, alcohol) or you can all stay in and catch a movie (streaming) or you can all stay in bed (rent. don't get me started) and scream (noise complaint. ticket at least).

you want to read a new book, but the book has to have 124 buzzwords from tiktok readers that are, like, weirdly horny. you can purchase this audiobook on audible! your podcast isn't on spotify, it's on its own server, pay for a different site. fuck, at least you're supporting artists you like. the art museum just raised their ticket price. once, they had a temporary exhibit that acknowledged that ~85% of their permanent art galleries were from cis white men, and that they had thousands of works by women (even famous women, like frida! georgia o'keefe!) just rotting in their basement. that exhibit lasted for 3 months and then they put everything away again.

walmart proudly supports this strip of land by the street! here are some flowers with wilting leaves. its employees have to pay out-of-pocket for their uniforms. my friend once got fined by the city because she organized a community pick-up of the riverfront, which was technically private property.

no, you cannot afford to take that dance class, neither can i. by the way - i'm a teacher. i'm absolutely not saying "educators shouldn't be paid fairly." i'm saying that when i taught classes, renting a studio went from 20 bucks an hour to 180 in the span of 6 months. no significant changes to the studio were made, except they now list the place as updated and friendly. the heat still doesn't work in the building. i have literally never seen the landlord who ignores my emails. recently they've been renting it out at night as an "unusual nightclub; a once-in-a-lifetime close-knit party." they spent some of those 180 dollars on LEDs and called it renovating. the high heels they invite in have been ruining the marley.

do you want to experience the old internet? do you want to play flash games or get back the temporary joy of club penguin? you can, you just need to pay for it. i have a weird, neurodivergent obsession with occasionally checking in to watch the downfall and NFT-ification of neopets. if i'm honest with you all - i never got into webkins, my family didn't have the money to buy me a pointless elephant. people forget that "being poor" can mean literally "if i buy you that toy, i can't afford rent."

you and i don't have time to make good food, and we don't have the budget for it. we are not gonna be able to host dinner parties, we're not made of money, kid. do you want some kind of 3rd space? a space that isn't home or work or school? you could try being online, but - what places actually exist for you? tiktok counts as social media because you see other people on it, not because they actually talk to you.

there was a local winter tradition of sledding down the hill at my school. kids would use pizza boxes and jackets and whatever worked, howling and laughing. back in september, they made a big announcement that this time, rules were changing, and everyone must pay 10 dollars to participate. when im not scared shitless, i kind of appreciate the environmental irony - it hasn't gone below 40. so much for snow & joyriding.

i saw a bulletin for a local dogwalking group and, nervous about making a good first impression, showed up early. the first guy there grimaced at me. "sorry," he said. "there's a 30-dollar buy-in fee." i thought he was joking. wait. for what? the group doesn't offer anything except friendship and people with whom to walk around the city.

he didn't know the answer. just shrugged at me. "you know," he said. "these days, everything costs money."

[oneandocey]

To be seen is not to be loved. But to be loved is to be seen and understood completely.

[peaceishim]

[taimanzano]

#Noblespark !

[peach-22]

My favourite part of tumblr is the anonymity. Y’all know everything and nothing about me.

[hinamie]

oversaturate

[deskatt]

Ink!! love the oaf for no particular reason :V

[hamoodmood]

In another universe I was happy

[sleeplessv0id]

maybe in another universe, I can ask for help when I need it.

[nightmareevara]

Fuck nudes. Send me your address I'll pick you up for a romantic date.

[lostwriter--xx3]

Lily

@prongsfoot-microfic

Dedicated to the lovely @shivstar and my own dear Prongs @rosemelodyshah

-------

"And, who's the first?"

It was a casual question, and Lily knew the answer. She turned away with the dish.

Thus, she missed James' sheepish face as he replied, "Sirius."

Lily stopped, her slipper halfway across the tile. She locked eyes with James in the mirror above the basin. "Sirius?"

"Yeah", James sipped his black coffee, glancing at Sirius beside him. He hid a smile behind his own cup.

Lily looked away from the mirror and bent to the basin, washing away the pie crumbs on the plate. "I hadn't expected that. I didn't know you..."

"Could bake?" Sirius smiled. "I can't. But Prongsie was craving apple pie. I snuck into the kitchen and stole what I thought were the ingredients." He laughed, rippling and blue. "Guess what they were?"

"Eggs, flour and apples." James was laughing too. "He mashed and baked it in an open fire...in a cauldron."

Lily smiled weakly, privately horrified. "And that got first place? Better than your mom?" Or me?

"It had Paddy's touch." Jame nudged him with his shoulder affectionately. "He could serve up spaghetti with fish sauce and it would be the baar spaghetti I've ever had."

Lily saw Sirius blush in the mirror. She bent to the cabinet under the sink with last night's leftovers. Some spaghetti was left at the bottom. She dumped it out and washed it.

"I couldn't get a cookbook", Sirius said apologetically.

"That made it special." James shrugged, slinging an arm over his shoulder as he reached over to take his plate. He came to the sink and put it down, smiling at Lily. Lily smiled back, tightly.

"Did you actually eat the apple contraption?"

"I couldn't hurt his feelings", he winked at Sirius over his shoulder, who made a face.

"You guys are so sweet, like an old married couple!" Lily exclaimed, dumping out the leftover pie in the dustbin.

Sirius grinned. "We are."

"Besides, he did all that. He literally stole the ingredients under the Head Elf's watch. And snuck into the Potions classroom. Of course I loved it. Of course I love him." James had left Lily's side, and was chokehold-hugging Sirius from behind the chair.

I got up at 5 today.

"You really need to stop embarrassing me in front of your wife." Sirius wrapped an arm around him fondly.

"James, can you stay in and help remove this mirror?" Lily called out. "It'd look better in the sitting room."

"Tomorrow, dear. I and Paddy have plans today."

Lily slammed down the dish. "Have fun. I need go write a letter."

She left the room. James didn't really notice.

In their bedroom, she found the writing desk. The pad was empty, the ink was at its dregs. James had gone through all the pages writing long, detailed letters to Sirius about every mundane household thing. Lily had seen the replies. Sirius had specifically responded to ever single thing James had gushed about. How sweet. How thoughtful.

There was an unsealed envelope beside the pad. It was the letter James had written last night, planned to post today, before Sirius payed a surprise and definitely unauthorised visit to him. Lily hesitated, then pulled out and unfolded the letter.

Dear Sirius,

I miss you. How I miss you! I sit down for breakfast, lunch, supper (I'm never at home for dinner these days, always some fad at the Order) and I'm always staring out the window at the front wall of the house (have I told you about the new curtains? They are grey with polka dots. Lily didn't like them very much but I insisted on them, they look just like your eyes) hoping you will appear. I'm rambling, of course. I'm not in my right mind, I feel crazy without you. I wish you would come live with us. The guest room isn't ready yet, but we could curl up on the floor with the sleeping bags (the ones we got for Quidditch final in 7th Year) and watch the stars. The window faces the backyard, y'know. It's beautiful. Lily can take the bedroom.

No, honestly, I'm happy with Lily. It feels like a constant adrenaline rush. I finally won her over! But I miss you. I wish you'd visit. I need to feel your arm around my shoulder, I need to hear you laugh, I need to feel your knuckles under my thumb. I need you, love. I wish you'd come. I miss you like a limb. You're always the first thing on my mind when I wake up and my last waking thought before I sleep. Sometimes, I even dream of you (crazy, I know). I hold a pillow pretending its you and that I'm back in the dorm and it's Fifth Year and everything is fine. I wish I could feel that safety again. I can't tell Lily, but I'm so scared, Sirius. I'm scared of dying. I'm scared that one day I will die in a solo mission and I won't see you again. I wish I hadn't joined the Order. Of course, I want to fight. But sometimes, when I think of you and me and how we used to joke about sharing a red-bricked house with a picket fence with a swing in a kitchen garden, I can't help but be selfish. Are ideals worth more than you? I don't know, I honestly don't know...

Well, I'm all out of paper. Seems like writing letters to you is all I do nowadays. Dumbledore is pressuring me to spend more time with Lily. I love her, but I need some space too. He keeps insisting on knowing when we are having kids. It's so odd and uncomfortable, how is it any of his business? And I don't want kids. Who has kids in war? Lily wants a daughter. I want a damn cat and you. I'm starting to detest Order meetings because of all these wrangles now. But I'll always attend them. I get to see you. I'd attend a conference in hell (that's what the meetings are these days) to see you. Don't forget me in your roomie bliss with Peter, okay? I love you.

Always,

Your James.

Lily put back the letter and fetched a new pad of paper from the shelf. She looked at the dregs of the ink. It would be enough. She sat down to write.

Dear Sev—

Lily got up and put on a jacket. She had to go out and buy some ink. She would need it.

[inkskinned]

we were sitting on the floor and i was cutting out tiny pictures to make a collage for a friend's birthday. you were on your phone and you laughed about something, and i was still in love with you then, so i asked what had you giggling.

"sorry. i was just..." you took a moment and went back to texting. "i was telling someone about how you're afraid of the dark."

i'm afraid of the dark because something bad happened. "oh." i felt a little slinky of shame crawl down my throat.

you glanced up, and maybe it showed on my face, because you rolled your eyes and held the phone to the side casually so i could see the group chat. "what? was it a secret?"

i looked down to the scissors in my hand. "i just..." no, it's not a secret. it just felt like something private, something serious. saying why would you tell someone that just feels like an accusation. it's unfair. i honestly am not even ashamed of it, it's just a fact about my person that i don't usually share.

what a strange experience. is this a human thing or a generational thing? for our grandparents: did they need to worry about how quickly someone can just... share your personal information? again, i didn't even really have a true objection. what could i say? i want any person in my life to feel they can be honest with their friends. it's not like i said don't tell anyone this.

i cut out another letter to complete the rainbow happy birthday, started hunting for the exclamation mark. i heard you sigh dramatically.

"don't make a big deal about this," you said.

this entire conversation was a pattern for us, and this was when we got to my least favorite part of the pattern. i would get my feelings hurt in some oblique not-technically-terrible way, and then it would be making a big deal about something. you'd get frustrated for me for being soft, but i was born soft. you knew i was soft when you pierced me. it's one of the things that made controlling me so easy.

"i'm not," i felt my voice crack. the question came without my wanting. "why are you guys talking about me?" and why are you saying that thing? why not like - i'm telling them how you're generous and kind and pretty.

you let out this low, tragic groan. "oh my god." you tossed the phone away from your body. "there, see? i just won't talk to them if you don't like it."

the rest of the hour went the way it always went, between us: i said i don't actually mind if you talk to your friends but -, you found a way to call my minor expression of discomfort "being dramatic." you got upset that i had been offended. i ended up apologizing, even though i hadn't actually done anything.

afterwards, you picked up the phone again. after texting for a little bit, you snorted. "okay," you said, "but it is kind of funny you're afraid of the dark. i mean, when you think about it."

[ground-muttmeg]

I DID IT. I FINALLY DID IT. THE BUG TAROT DECK IS COMPLETE!!!

🐛🦋🐞🪲🦟🪳🐜🦗🕷️🪰🕸️

y’all this took FIVE MONTHS…… almost a whole half a year…. it felt like it took just forever tbh but now it’s over… and READY TO BE MADE 💗💗💗

unfortunately I am poor and can’t make these without support- BUT if you like supporting queer disabled artists, and getting a cool hand drawn tarot deck out of it (and maybe some cool extras? I’m still working out what those might be!) I am running a Kickstarter project for these launching on September 24th!!

reward tiers include:

- $1-$39 just for support!

- $40 for a Major Arcana only set (22 cards)

- $50 for a Major + Minor Arcana set (full 78 cards)

- $75 for a full 78 card set WITH SILVER GILDED CARD EDGES!!

I also made a short video! it’s a little amateurish but hey it works well enough, and you can see the themes for the minor arcana in it!

link to the kickstarter!! we’ll be launching on the 24th but you can follow it now to be notified!!

[inkwell-chronicles]

We are all here, lost, trying to find our path in life.

[soul-from-another-era]